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Cyberstrike 08 RP Feedback

TheOriginalSE

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Every cycle I will give my feedback on the RPs that were posted. These will usually be 1-2 sentences on anything that particularly struck me .. whether it was something I liked, something that I felt just didn't click. It is meant to give you a little insight into my judging.

You can feel free to post your own feedback in this thread as well, but please be constructive.

Please note that I do not read any RPs until after the deadline is over and I read them all at the same time so I have a general idea of what might be given a 70, or a 65, or a 62 .. so on and so forth. I will not post the scores themselves, but each week I will announce what was the Roleplay of the Week.

1. Yossi Hayat: I like the idea of an in-ring promo, and I LOL'ed at "Shitgomery." The one thing that seemed out of place was Hayat apologizing after his "spasms." It only seemed out of place, I guess, because as a heel, you don't expect apologies - for anything.

2. Suicide: RP#1 - You both did a great job of bringing in the history between the two (three?) guys without causing people who may not know it to be lost. A very strong RP .. although I'm not sure if you meant to or not, but Stanton has been on a "What do you want?" Babylon 5 kick this season already.

3. Suicide: RP#2 - Many have tried to call Tact out before for "mentoring" his brother, but this is one of the few times where it really worked, probably because of the history pre-New ERA. Great job.

4. Chaos: RP#1 - I know you said you were going to go back and do the editing, but when I did the scoring, I'm assuming you never got the chance. The RP itself was good, but not your best work. Harking back to the BattleBRAWL and the reasoning for Chaos eliminating himself should have been little more than a sidenote.

5. Chaos: RP#2 - It ended strong. I liked how Chaos talked about how he would be the people's champion. And apologies for not being able to fit in the entirety of your angle this week - there were so many things in motion that I had to make cuts / changes to each for everything to make sense. :)

6. Mr. Entertainment: Not your best work, but it was solid. I guess when you put up RPs that score consistently high, one that scores middle of the pack sticks out. The last paragraph was probably my favorite of the entire thing. Let's hope your internet gets fixed ASAP. Oh, and enjoy the wedding.

7. Richard Dweck: My main suggestion would be to cut out all the linkage. Don't get me wrong, it is a unique way to tell the backstory of your character, but after the third or so, it became a bit tedious. The only other thing I'd suggest would to cut out the mention of "real" wrestlers. In our universe, people like Angle/Hogan don't exist. But I really dug the way the RP ended and I look forward to seeing what you bring to the table in the future.

8. Fanatic: I never realized the history between you guys, so it was entertaining to be caught up in the RPs. I only hope that the write up did justice to the work you guys put into the RP period.

9. Pro Wrestling's SJH: It made me LOL. It wove Astros path from EPW to New ERA with Hart's journey in EPW and New ERA together nicely. I'm not sure if you realize this, but you don't need to use the (FCC) .. there's no word filters on the boards. :)

10. The First: You did enough to win, that's all that matters. I enjoy the arc for First this season.

11. Jonathan Marx: You zeroed in on the fact that this is a different "universe" from "real" wrestling, which fits perfectly. I usually refer to the PRODIGY days as the "PRODIGY Circuit" as opposed to Network, LOL.


RP of the Week: "Answers" by Suicide // "Indefensible Arguments" by Fanatic
 

TheOriginalSE

Moderator
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
2,379
Points
36
Age
39
Location
San Francisco, CA
Website
newera.fwrestling.com
* Suicide Feedback


I knew Stanton is doing the "What do you want?" phrase, but when I had Suicide saying it, it was just for Fanatic and no one else. Plus it had to do in regards with Fanatic's relationship with his brother.
 

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