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Cyberstrike 07 RP Feedback

TheOriginalSE

Moderator
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
2,379
Points
36
Age
39
Location
San Francisco, CA
Website
newera.fwrestling.com
Every cycle I will give my feedback on the RPs that were posted. These will usually be 1-2 sentences on anything that particularly struck me .. whether it was something I liked, something that I felt just didn't click. It is meant to give you a little insight into my judging.

You can feel free to post your own feedback in this thread as well, but please be constructive.

Please note that I do not read any RPs until after the deadline is over and I read them all at the same time so I have a general idea of what might be given a 70, or a 65, or a 62 .. so on and so forth. I will not post the scores themselves, but each week I will announce what was the Roleplay of the Week.

1. Yossi Hayat: It was interesting. I got a little bit lost amongst all the scripture, but I did like how you used it to talk about the match at hand.

2. Cameron Cruise: It was a good RP. I liked the reach back to the history and how Cruise beat Entertainment for the Television Championship .. and now he would do the same for the New ERA Championship.

3. Mr. Entertainment: RP#1 - This one started off a bit slow for me .. just lacked the Entertainment feel. Eventually it went full speed ahead once you got on the Cruise trash talking. Puppy of War made me LOL.

4. Mr. Entertainment: RP#2 - Great response to Cruise's claim that he did everything before / better Entertainment. The RP had me actively engaged.

5. Suicide: RP#1 - Short, but strong. Knowing the history in New ERA, I never realized that the two had met in other promotions before .. so that was something new I learned!

6. Suicide: RP#2 - Another strong RP. You pinned Chaos' ego down and really went with it in the RP.

7. Fanatic: The play on Hait telling stories, and the story Fanatic tells, explores the character perfectly in the context of a match.

8. Chaos: RP#1 - This RP worked well. Recounting the past, but also taking about the current. My favorite line? "In New Era it doesn't get bigger then me."

9. Chaos: RP#2 - Chaos worrying about injury? That just struck me as being off.. The rest of the RP felt flat for some reason, not quite sure what it was. I did like the end "Nuff...said sir."

10. Michael Montgomery: Kinda short, but the content was good. I liked how you said you'd close the book on Marx and what Montgomery perceived to be the Old ERA.

11. Jonathan Marx: Once again, Marx and Jacobs are great at taking contemporary events and making them accessible to the wrestling world. My two main concerns? The first is small... the use of the term "heel." Second was the lack of mention of your opponent or the match until just the very end. It was late, which cost you the match, but otherwise, good job.


RP of the Week: "A Countdown to an Unveiling - and a new career for Cameron Cruise" by Mr. Entertainment
 

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