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Cyberstrike 03 RP Feedback


Jan 1, 2000
San Francisco, CA
Every cycle I will give my feedback on the RPs that were posted. These will usually be 1-2 sentences on anything that particularly struck me .. whether it was something I liked, something that I felt just didn't click. It is meant to give you a little insight into my judging.

You can feel free to post your own feedback in this thread as well, but please be constructive.

Please note that I do not read any RPs until after the deadline is over and I read them all at the same time so I have a general idea of what might be given a 70, or a 65, or a 62 .. so on and so forth. I will not post the scores themselves, but each week I will announce what was the Roleplay of the Week.

1. Stacy Jones: I know you said it wasn't your best work, but I actually enjoyed hearing the straight trash-talk from Stacy. However, once again, using the same RP template you use in other feds hurt you. Some of the things didn't make sense because you just plugged in New ERA stuff into what you wrote for another league. I don't know if you'll even see this since you are taking time off, but future RPs would score much higher if they were unique and not recycled.

2. Cameron Cruise: On point, which I liked. You overused the phrase "honey" so much that it started to get on my nerves by the end of the RP. Aside from that one negative, I really enjoyed the RP. It was the Cameron Cruise I want to show up day in and day out. :)

3. The Druid: Your ability to tell the story of the Druid is amazing. I loved the imagery and how you weaved both character development and relevancy together. The character shined in this promo.

4. Michael Montgomery: It was good. You played into the character's strengths. You did leave yourself open to some return shots from your opponent and unsurprisingly, he let you have it. Overall it was a good read and as you begin to flesh out your promos I can really see them scoring amongst the highest of the week.

5. Mr. Entertainment: Great job responding to Montgomery's promo. Entertainment was able to hone in and really let him have it. Entertainment has really been on a roll these past three shows and I can honestly believe him when Entertainment says that he IS New ERA. Fantastic job.

6. The First: You referenced First's past w/ Marx perfectly. It wasn't obscure and you connected it to the match. I enjoyed the RP.

7. Chaos: Your highest scoring RP to date and well deserved, too. Sometimes I hate judging matches because I enjoy both RPs .. definitely the worst part of being a fed-head. :p The lamb / sheep connection had me LOL'ing. Great job.

8. Fanatic: Loved this RP. I really like that Tact makes the promo and builds Fanatic up. I really didn't have any complaints.

9. Jonathan Marx: LOL. Marx and Jacobs work so well together that its believable - and you know how much a stickler I am for reality. The thing that really held this promo back and caused it to score lower than First was the fact that the meat of the promo came in the last paragraph and a half.

RP of the Week: "Tales of Doom 1-2: The Calling" by the Druid

(I didn't forget about the feedback this week .. moved on Saturday and just got around to it today.)
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