Enter a bedroom. The shutters are only partly open, letting a few thin rays of pale sunlight through. The room is bare, like a motel's. Sitting on the bed, with his back to the camera, is a dark-skinned man. He is using his hands, but on what, we can't yet see.
STARK (V/O): "My life was full of hardships. Couldn't get nothing easy. I don't mean to be a sob story. Things are just the way they are. My father… wasn't the best guy."
The camera lifts up and starts to move forward, hovering over Stark's head and getting a look at what he is doing. Calmly, he is slapping cartridges into two sub-machine guns.
STARK (V/O): "He didn't tell me much about life. One thing he did tell me, though is…
"… sometimes…
"… **** gets CRAZY."
D.C. hangs the guns from clips on his belt. He lifts up a white labcoat and slips it around his shoulders.
STARK (V/O): "You just gotta be preapred."
Suddenly, the wall behind Stark is blown to smithereens. The camera turns to get a look over Stark's shoulder as he whips around. Coming through the wall is a giant…
PINK…
DILDO…
WITH ARMS!!!
The dildo roars, its own cry of predatory aggression overshadowing Stark's own fearsome yell. The uzis seem to fly into Stark's hands and in a second he's unloading the clips into the plastic sex terror. The dildo beast begins to vibrate insistently as D.C. empties the clips. Impatiently, he tosses the sub-machine guns aside and pulls two .475 Wildey Magnums out of nowhere. He walks backwards steadily, guns a-blazing, straight into the wall which explodes behind him. The shower of debris covers the camera and it fades to white.
Fade in. Stark is walking down the street in broad daylight. His labcoat flaps dramatically about his knees. Two SMGs are intermittently visible at his lips. He absently smokes a cigarette.
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "There comes a time when the world needs a man to set everything right."
As a police car passes him, he flicks the cigarette off to his right.
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "When the world needs a man who's not afraid of the Man."
The police car goes up in a pillar of fire Michael Bay style. Stark just keeps on walking, shoving his hands into his pockets.
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "When the world needs a man… who is the man for his time."
Cut to Stark running down an alleyway. His arms pump hard. His sights are on a man running away from him. He hurtles over a trash can.
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "This summer, America has such a man at its disposal."
Stark slams into the perp. He grabs him by the shoulders and forces him into the wall. The dirty perp's eyes are full of fear and Stark leans in close.
STARK: "You tell me where Mittens is, and you tell me NOW!"
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "A man that can hardly be controlled. A man after his own goals."
Cut to Stark standing on the balcony over a vat of chemical waste. He is shirtless and sweating, much like his scar-faced East Asian opponent. Both men skillfully trade kicks and punches, neither giving up an inch.
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "A man who wants to better society, but will only do it on his own terms."
Cut to Stark standing on the edge of a building. A few feet in front of him is Jennifer Aniston, her hands clasped in concern.
ANISTON: "You can't do this. You don't know him like I do!"
Stark frowns, taking a step backwards, approaching the edge.
STARK: "You tell Nova that he'd better come find me, 'cause if I have to find him, 'peekaboo' is gonna get a lot deadlier."
Stark steps backwards, plummeting out of sight. Aniston's eyes go wide and she rushes towards the edge.
ANISTON: "D.C.!"
She grips the edge of the building and looks over, only to see… the street below.
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "The highest echelons of government attempt to recruit him, knowing that whatever happens, he will get the job done."
D.C. Stark is ushered into the Oval Office, still dressed in labcoat and still sporting the SMGs. Like an evil overlord, George Bush swivels around in his chair and pushes a manila folder across his desk.
GEORGE BUSH: "We need her dead. Tomorrow."
Stark opens the folder and pulls out a large black-and-white paparazzi-style image of Lindsay Troy.
STARK: "I can't do it. She's a woman. I don't kill women."
GEORGE BUSH: "Dammit, Stark, the state of the nation is at stake! Remember all that MLK fought for!? Do you want that to be lost!?"
Stark thinks for a second and then lifts a lighter up, setting the picture on fire.
STARK: "Consider her gone."
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "In a time when nothing is certain but pain…"
Cut to D.C. Stark, driving very fast along the open highway. His cellphone rings and he picks it up.
STARK: "Go ahead."
VOICE: "I hope you're not intending to catch Mr. Red in that car, Stark. If you are, you're in for an explosive surprise."
The phone clicks dead.
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "Where not even the sunrise is foretold…"
Stark hurriedly throws himself out of the car just as it explodes. He rolls on the desert stand for a bit and then picks himself up… only to find himself surrounded by obviously-robotic gun-toting clones of Kin Hiroshi.
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "The only thing you can do is go… and GO HARD."
Yelling mightily, Stark rises, pulling out his SMGs and spraying in every direction.
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "This summer… George Washington Starkley stars in:"
LOGO: NFW – VERSION 3.0
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "ENN-EFF-DOUBLEYOU VERSION THREE."
Cut to a shirtless Stark kneeling on a rooftop in a thunderstorm. Lightning strikes overhead. He lifts his arms to the heavens, his head tilted back.
STARK: "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!"
LOGO: SUMMER 2007
STARK (V/O): "My life was full of hardships. Couldn't get nothing easy. I don't mean to be a sob story. Things are just the way they are. My father… wasn't the best guy."
The camera lifts up and starts to move forward, hovering over Stark's head and getting a look at what he is doing. Calmly, he is slapping cartridges into two sub-machine guns.
STARK (V/O): "He didn't tell me much about life. One thing he did tell me, though is…
"… sometimes…
"… **** gets CRAZY."
D.C. hangs the guns from clips on his belt. He lifts up a white labcoat and slips it around his shoulders.
STARK (V/O): "You just gotta be preapred."
Suddenly, the wall behind Stark is blown to smithereens. The camera turns to get a look over Stark's shoulder as he whips around. Coming through the wall is a giant…
PINK…
DILDO…
WITH ARMS!!!
The dildo roars, its own cry of predatory aggression overshadowing Stark's own fearsome yell. The uzis seem to fly into Stark's hands and in a second he's unloading the clips into the plastic sex terror. The dildo beast begins to vibrate insistently as D.C. empties the clips. Impatiently, he tosses the sub-machine guns aside and pulls two .475 Wildey Magnums out of nowhere. He walks backwards steadily, guns a-blazing, straight into the wall which explodes behind him. The shower of debris covers the camera and it fades to white.
Fade in. Stark is walking down the street in broad daylight. His labcoat flaps dramatically about his knees. Two SMGs are intermittently visible at his lips. He absently smokes a cigarette.
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "There comes a time when the world needs a man to set everything right."
As a police car passes him, he flicks the cigarette off to his right.
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "When the world needs a man who's not afraid of the Man."
The police car goes up in a pillar of fire Michael Bay style. Stark just keeps on walking, shoving his hands into his pockets.
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "When the world needs a man… who is the man for his time."
Cut to Stark running down an alleyway. His arms pump hard. His sights are on a man running away from him. He hurtles over a trash can.
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "This summer, America has such a man at its disposal."
Stark slams into the perp. He grabs him by the shoulders and forces him into the wall. The dirty perp's eyes are full of fear and Stark leans in close.
STARK: "You tell me where Mittens is, and you tell me NOW!"
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "A man that can hardly be controlled. A man after his own goals."
Cut to Stark standing on the balcony over a vat of chemical waste. He is shirtless and sweating, much like his scar-faced East Asian opponent. Both men skillfully trade kicks and punches, neither giving up an inch.
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "A man who wants to better society, but will only do it on his own terms."
Cut to Stark standing on the edge of a building. A few feet in front of him is Jennifer Aniston, her hands clasped in concern.
ANISTON: "You can't do this. You don't know him like I do!"
Stark frowns, taking a step backwards, approaching the edge.
STARK: "You tell Nova that he'd better come find me, 'cause if I have to find him, 'peekaboo' is gonna get a lot deadlier."
Stark steps backwards, plummeting out of sight. Aniston's eyes go wide and she rushes towards the edge.
ANISTON: "D.C.!"
She grips the edge of the building and looks over, only to see… the street below.
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "The highest echelons of government attempt to recruit him, knowing that whatever happens, he will get the job done."
D.C. Stark is ushered into the Oval Office, still dressed in labcoat and still sporting the SMGs. Like an evil overlord, George Bush swivels around in his chair and pushes a manila folder across his desk.
GEORGE BUSH: "We need her dead. Tomorrow."
Stark opens the folder and pulls out a large black-and-white paparazzi-style image of Lindsay Troy.
STARK: "I can't do it. She's a woman. I don't kill women."
GEORGE BUSH: "Dammit, Stark, the state of the nation is at stake! Remember all that MLK fought for!? Do you want that to be lost!?"
Stark thinks for a second and then lifts a lighter up, setting the picture on fire.
STARK: "Consider her gone."
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "In a time when nothing is certain but pain…"
Cut to D.C. Stark, driving very fast along the open highway. His cellphone rings and he picks it up.
STARK: "Go ahead."
VOICE: "I hope you're not intending to catch Mr. Red in that car, Stark. If you are, you're in for an explosive surprise."
The phone clicks dead.
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "Where not even the sunrise is foretold…"
Stark hurriedly throws himself out of the car just as it explodes. He rolls on the desert stand for a bit and then picks himself up… only to find himself surrounded by obviously-robotic gun-toting clones of Kin Hiroshi.
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "The only thing you can do is go… and GO HARD."
Yelling mightily, Stark rises, pulling out his SMGs and spraying in every direction.
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "This summer… George Washington Starkley stars in:"
LOGO: NFW – VERSION 3.0
HAL DOUGLAS V/O: "ENN-EFF-DOUBLEYOU VERSION THREE."
Cut to a shirtless Stark kneeling on a rooftop in a thunderstorm. Lightning strikes overhead. He lifts his arms to the heavens, his head tilted back.
STARK: "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!"
LOGO: SUMMER 2007