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Cleveland Riptide 04


League Member
Jan 1, 2000
SW Chicago
(FADE-IN: Lady V is standing by in the locker room with The Cannonball Kidd)

LADY V: "Welcome back to Riptide, fans. I'm here backstage with GLCW newcomer Cannonball Kidd. Cannonball, since arriving in GLCW, you've frequently claimed to be a Man with a Message. What sort of message do you have for Nemesis, your opponent tonight?"

CANNONBALL KIDD: "Well V, I must admit that I feel a great deal of sorrow
for not saying more to Nemesis than I have. I mean, the first time he
opened his mouth, I could tell that he needed my program. I told him
flat-out what was keeping him from self-actualization: The need he feels to
hide his insecurities behind a wall of complex language. I identified the
problem for him, but as long as he refuses to admit he has a problem,
there's so little I can do for him. I mean, I listened to every word of
every promo he's cut, but they're just more of the same, and even a
self-actualized man such as myself can't be expected to endure such
repetition with the enthusiasm I approach most topics with. Yes, Lady V,
I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for Nemesis until he admits he has a
problem, but I think that maybe - just MAYBE - that by beating him tonight,
I can finally help him realize the error of his ways."

LADY V: "As always, Cannonball Kidd is out to spread his message. Back

C.K.: "But you know, even if I can't get through to Nemesis, I
might still be able to make a difference tonight. V, you're a pretty good
interviewer, but when I look at you, I can definitely see some room for
improvement, and I think you might really benefit from my program. I mean,
the way you introduced me...'Cannonball Kidd, a Man with a Message, do you
have a message for Nemesis?' It's clever, but it's uninspired. Nemesis
might not be willing to let my program improve his life, but you, Lady V,
you look smart enough to realize the benefits of my program for
self-actualization, and we can start by helping to transform your ho-hum,
run-of-the-mill routine into something unique and exciting! Whaddya..."

(He starts to extend his hand, but then looks up and presumably notices a
clock, then pulls his hand away)

C.K.: "Actually, right now, I've got to go get ready for my match. Come by my dressing room later if you want to do the wise thing and get yourself on your way to becoming self-actualized like me...a Man with a Message."

(Cannonball walks off, leaving Lady V more than just a little upset by his

LADY V (flustered): "Can you believe him? Let's take it up to Matt for our next match."

(CUT-TO: Matt Faley standing at mid-ring)

MATT FALEY: "Ladies and gentlemen, in our next match, coming to the ring," (CUE-UP: A sound of a cannon going off, then "Wonderboy" by Tenacious D) "From St. Paul, Minnesota, weighing in at 216lbs., THE CANNONBALL KIDD!!"

(The crowd boos as The Cannonball Kidd makes his way to ringside, taking time to stop and lecture to some fans along the way about his self-actualization plan, nobody buying a word of it. The Kidd then throws his hands in the air in frustration and rolls into the ring where more boos rain down upon him)

M.F..: "And his opponent," (CUE-UP: "The Wicker Man" by Iron Maiden) "From Seattle, Washington, weighing in at 237lbs., NEMESIS!!"

(The crowd pops a bit more since they've seen Nemesis already tonight. He comes down to the ring, running down with high-fives all the way down. He stops right before he gets to the ring, and takes off a silver chain he had around his neck. He gives it to a little boy, probably eight or nine, practically standing on the barrier. The kid puts the chain on and gives Nemesis a big high-five and thumbs up. Nemesis returns the thumbs up, and slides under the ring. He mounts the turnbuckle nearest that little boy, and holds up the "Wrath" sign over his head. He jumps back into the ring, and stares down the Cannonball Kidd)

JAKE SHADES: "Ugh! Captain Happy here is giving me stomach cramps!"

TONY ROSS: "Nemesis just made one youngster's week, Shades, nothing wrong with that! Sorry that bothers you! Anyways, this should be a really good match between the newly arrived Nemesis, as he tore up the ring in Hammond with another GLCW newcomer a few days ago! Tact came out on top but I'm sure Nemesis is looking to get back into a groove here against the Kidd, who is ona streak himself since he debuted!"

RICK WISEMAN: "Although no one is buying into his self-actualization plan, people are buying into the hype, as the Kidd is backing up his talk in the ring, scoring an impressive win over Golem in Hammond!"

J.S.: "Hell at this point *I* can beat Golem."

T.R.: "Yeah right! Nemesis and the Kidd are doing some jawing here at mid-ring, as they are trying to psyche each other out. Either that or Kidd is just trying a last ditch effort to get Nemesis to accept his self-actualization plan! Nemesis shoves the Kidd away and here we go! Kidd grabs a headlock but Nemesis powers out of it into a chicken wing! Kidd tries some reverse elbows but can't escape! Kidd gets to the ropes and the hold is broken! Ohh!! The Kidd just slapped him as Nemesis backed away! Nemesis begins to pound away at the Kidd and he goes tumbling out of the ring! Nemesis certainly didn't like that and the crowd agrees!"

R.W.: "The Kidd may be trying to help other GLCW wrestlers in his own way, but nobody ever said he was a sportsman. Nemesis gave him a clean break and got paintbrushed for his troubles."

J.S.: "Which is what any guy with brains would do, and that's a group that does not include you two goofs!"

T.R.: "The ringside fans are really giving it to the Kidd and he scowls back at them, then calls for the referee to push Nemesis back so he can get back in! Kidd is on the apron but he won't get back in until Nemesis backs off! Nemesis charges and the Kidd grabs Nemesis' neck and snaps it off the ropes!"

R.W.: "The Kidd suckered an over-aggressive Nemesis in and made him pay for it. The Kidd showing a lot of craftiness here as he gains the advantage."

J.S.: "You guys ought to use the Kidd's self-actualization plan because you guys ain't actually that good at announcing!"

T.R.: "This coming from a guy who got his broadcasting degree out of a Cracker Jack box! The Kidd is back in the ring and stomping away at the downed Nemesis! Kidd pulls him up and hits some stiff forearms and backs him into the ropes! he whips Nemesis in and hits a crisp dropkick right to the face of the Seattle native!"

R.W.: "The Kidd has that amazing finisher, a 450 frog splash that he calls the Crater Creator, and it will be interesting to see if he can get Nemesis down long enough to hit it."

T.R.: "Rolling Thunder from the Cannonball Kidd! And he follows that with a somersault legdrop and a quick cover!! 1......2....No, Nemesis got a shoulder up! Kidd pulls him up and hits a standing enziguiri! Kidd rebounds off the ropes with a corkscrew elbow! Another cover!! 1......2....No!! Nemesis rolls out of the ring!"

R.W.: "Nemesis may not have been prepared for this furious assault from the Kidd here, and a breather is just what he needs."

J.S.: "In this business, if you don't come prepared, you don't come at all. This idiot better hightail it out of here before he embarasses himself even more!"

T.R.: "Now that would be the coward's way out, wouldn't it? Ohhhh!! The Kidd with a pescado out to the floor on Nemesis! Kidd quickly pulls him up and slams Nemesis on the concrete! Kidd goes up to the apron, and he leaps but misses an elbowdrop and hits the unforgiving floor!! Nemesis was able to roll out of the way!"

R.W.: "The Kidd got a little too risky there and went for that high risk move when Nemesis was not sufficiently wore down enough. Those are the dangers of being a high flyer, especially on the outside of the ring."

J.S.: "That's ok, one mistake doesn't end a match."

T.R.: "Both men lie on the floor as the referee lays down the count! Nemesis is up first and he pulls the Kidd up and rolls him into the ring! Nemesis gets him to his feet and hits a big atomic drop as the fans respond! The Kidd favors his spine and Nemesis comes from behind and nails a Russian Leg Sweep with a follow through cover!! 1......2.....No! Kidd kicks out! Nemesis rolls him over and drives some high knees into the back! Now Nemesis slaps on a modified camel clutch and he cinches it in!"

R.W.: "Nemesis didn't realize how close to the ropes they were and the Kidd is able to grab them to break the hold."

J.S.: "Not surprisingly, the big dummy."

T.R.: "Nemesis lets off and then pounds away at the back some more! He pulls the Kidd up and hits a side backbreaker, but he doesn't drop him down, he holds Kidd on his knee and bends him back with a surfboard type hold! That can't be comfortable!"

R.W.: "Nemesis is wearing down that back, possibly setting him up for his finisher, The Wrath."

T.R.: "The Kidd yells out in pain as Nemesis bends his back into a very uncomfortable position! Nemesis dumps him to the mat and drops a double knee to the back of the Kidd! Nemesis pulls him up and whips him in! Nemesis ducks down for a backdrop but the Kidd catches him with a throat thrust followed by a spin kick that sends Nemesis flying to the mat!"

R.W.: "Nemesis made that classic mistake of bending down for a backdrop too early, and the Kidd had his wits about him enough to counter it. This is what the Kidd needs to capitalize."

J.S.: "Yeah, put this clown away already, Kidd, my stomach cramps are getting worse!"

T.R.: "The Kidd slowly gets up and hits a standing rana on Nemesis! Nemesis is disorientated as he gets up and the Kidd with a vicious roundhouse kick sends him down! The Kidd is going up top!! He goes for a moonsault and nails it!! 1......2.....No!! Nemesis barely able to kick out!"

R.W.: "A great move by the Kidd fails to end the match, showing just how tough Nemesis is."

T.R.: "The Kidd is going back up top! He leaps...Crater Creator!! Ohhhhh!!! Nemesis got his knees up!! That took the wind right out of The Cannonball Kidd's sails in a hurry!! Kidd is in extreme pain here as he writhes on the mat! Nemesis slowly to his feet and he sees the downed Kidd and he calls to the crowd and they respond! He pulls the Kidd up and hits a forward face plant leg sweep!! He pulls the Kidd right back up and hooks him and hits the Penance, a cradle brainbuster!! 1......2......3!! Nemesis gets a huge win here on Riptide!"'

J.S.: "Oh come ooooooonn, who paid the Kidd to take a dive here!? Geeeez!"

R.W.: "The Kidd went to the well once too often and paid for it, and Nemesis capitalized and came out on top, simple as that Shades. Sorry to spoil your parade."

M.F.: "Ladies and gentlemen, your winner...NEMESIS!!"

(CuE-UP: "The Wicker Man" by Iron Maiden)

T.R.: "Well the fans are happy, but too bad Shades' isn't! It's going to take me a while to get used to his cheerleading again, but I guess it's the price I have to pay to see him humiliated!"

J.S.: "Drop dead, Ross."

T.R.: "There you see Nemesis head to the back to the cheers of the crowd, and wait a minute...there's 'Showtime' Steven James! The Cannonball Kidd gets to his feet in the ring and he sees James! James has a mic!"

"SHOWTIME" STEVEN JAMES: "Cannonball Kid...what can I say? I mean, you come down to the ring after I lose a few weeks ago and proceed to insult me and mock me...not a good idea man. But you're right...I needed a change. Maybe I do lack a certain focus when I wrestle and maybe that's why I haven't been racking up the wins here lately. But, now that I'm thinking about it, if I am going to start showing more focus maybe...just maybe I should start showing it...on YOU! Because
you see, things are different since we last met, a wind...of change has blown
through the GLCW, because you see I no longer say silly catchphrases, I no
longer pretend like I'm a movie star, and I no longer act like a jackass...although i see you still do. So, with all of this in mind i think
i'm gonna start showing just how serious i can be right...NOW!"

T.R.: "James runs to the ring and he attacks the Kidd!! Big rights and lefts stagger the Kidd and he backs him into the ropes and James knocks him right out of the ring with a huge right! The Kidd hits the floor hard!"

J.S.: "Ohhhhh, what a big man, attacking the Kidd after a tough match! Who does this punk James think he is anyway? He couldn't be a pimple on the Kidd's ass and now he's taking it out on him after a match because of that! This doesn't prove anything!"

T.R.: "Well Shades, you weren't here when the Cannonball Kidd cheap shotted James, so this is payback in my book! James soaks up the cheers as the Kidd vacates the ringside area! Steven James gets a measure of revenge on the Kidd after that incident a few weeks back on Riptide! Whoah, hold on here! Fans, I just received word that Nemesis has just been attacked in the locker room! We have a camera back there!"

(CUT-TO: The locker room area. a very dishoveled looking Sean Edmunds is standing above a downed Nemesis holding a tire iron. Nemesis is face down on the floor and covering his face, as several security guys stand by trying to get at Edmunds)

SEAN EDMUNDS: "Who do you think you are, Nemesis!? Huh?? Answer me!? Who do you think you are!? You think you can just walk into GLCW and shoot your mouth off about doing this and doing that!? You think you even have a chance at getting the Great Lakes Title!? You think you can mention MY name on the air without MY permission!? You're nothing, Nemesis! You're nothing! You want to get anywhere in GLCW, you go through me first! I'm the man around here! Don't you ever forget that! Ever!"

(Edmunds spits on Nemesis and drops the tire iron right by his head. The security guys push Edmunds out of the area as some medical personnel check on Nemesis)

T.R.: "Fans, Sean Edmunds has gone berserk! We gotta take a break!"

(Fade to a commercial for the newly released DVD, GLCW Chi-Town Showdown 1, available at all fine video and DVD retailers)

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