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Cleveland Riptide 02


League Member
Jan 1, 2000
SW Chicago
(FADE-IN: The inside of the Agora Theater. The camera pans around the fans at ringside as they act in various degrees of silliness for the camera. The camera stops on a strange looking man wearing a black trench coat, a fedora and dark sunglasses. The man looks strangely familiar but his identity can't be placed. CUE-UP: "N.W.O." by Ministry. CUT-TO: The locker room entrance. Commissioner King Krusher emerges as the fans roar in approval. K.K. makes his way down to ringside. CUT-TO: Jake Shades has a look of mortal fear on his face as K.K. approaches. K.K. has a mic in hand as he reaches the announcer's desk)

KING KRUSHER: "Oops, I almost forgot, hello Cleveland!! (cheap pop) It's great to be back here in the home of the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame! And when I think of great rock bands, I think of Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, The Who, and on and on. When I think of great wrestling announcers, I think of Tony Ross and Rick Wiseman. I DO NOT think of Jake Shades. (staring right at Shades) Shades, you and I go way back, my friend, because I, quite possibly, was the wrestler that you hated the most. You could not stand my clean image, my desire to make the fans happy, and my devotion to my trade. You couldn't stand my popularity, while you were ridiculed at every turn. Hell, I know for sure that you couldn't stand that swirly I gave you back in the AFWC!

(K.K. points to the big screen as the highlight film shows a video of Jake Shades turned upside down and being held with his head inside a toilet, as a hand flushes the toilet. The camera pans back to show K.K. smiling as he holds Jake Shades legs above the toilet as Shades' garbled screams emanate from the commode. The crowd laughs uproariously)

K.K.: "Ha ha...those were the days! But anyways Shades, I came out here to give you a message from the boss. Yes, Scott Malec. You know, you think you blackmailed him and that you're forcing him to have you out here, but the truth is, Malec is actually amused by you. There are even some people who find you entertaining, with your crass comments and your constant cheerleading. I guess he felt an opposing viewpoint was needed. So believe it or not, Malec was gonna hire you anyway, with or without those pictures of Lady V. You're a disaster waiting to happen Shades, what with your drinking and your temper and all, and Malec wants the entire world to see you make a full out of yourself on TV each and every week! You're a circus act Shades, and people always pay to see a good circus. So that is why you are out here, and it's not because of those pictures."

J.S.: "Bullcrap!! I'll show em! I'll show them right here on cable TV and everyone will see Lady V naked and then we'll see who the fool is, you clown! I'll do it!"

K.K.: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. About those pictures, someone has something to say about that."

(The crowd roars as Lady Veronica emerges from the curtain, wearing a stunning black velvet dress. The knockout brunette smiles at the cheering crowd as she approaches the announce position. K.K. hands her the mic)

LADY VERONICA: "Oh Jake, about those pictures. I know what you showed Scott last week in Grand Rapids, in fact I remember exactly where they came from. When I was in college, I posed nude for a small art photography magazine in New York. It paid well and I needed the money to help me through school. They were leaked to the internet a few years ago and I was well aware of it and I came to accept it. They were tastefully done, and I did it knowing full well that something like that could happen. They were printed in a magazine so what did I care if even more people saw them on the internet? I'm proud of my body and if other people see that, that's fine with me. So show your pictures to whoever you want, I don't care. But I am going to give you something just for making an attempt to humiliate me and Scott, something you've needed for a long time!"

(Lady V hauls off and slaps the taste out of Shades' mouth as the crowd erupts in approval. She hits Shades so hard his toupee flies off as he flops out of his chair. Lady V smiles at her handiwork, thanks Krusher, and walks to the back to the cheers of the crowd)

KING KRUSHER: "Oh and Shades, the next time you see me, you will address me as MISTER King Krusher...Understand?"

(Krusher laughs and walks back to the locker room)

TONY ROSS: "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! That was quite possibly the funniest thing I've seen in 9 years of broadcasting! Oh man Jake, she got you good! Ha ha ha ha!"

RICK WISEMAN: "Well I guess Shades knows better now than to try and cross GLCW boss Scott Malec! That blew up right in your face Shades!"

(Several beeps are heard as Shades cusses maniacly, trying to right himself as he climbs back onto the chair, toupee and headset askew. The censor does a good job keeping up)

T.R.: "Ha ha! Let's take it up to Matt for our next match!"

(CUT-TO: Matt Faley standing at mid-ring)

MATT FALEY: "In our next match, coming to the ring," (CUE-UP: "Pure Trauma" by Downset) "From Miami, Florida, weighing in at 234lbs., ANGEL CASTILLO!! He is accompanied by Sly Sterling!!"

(The crowd boos as Castillo emerges from the curtain, wearing purple tights. Sterling is wearing his usual white suit as he walks down the aisle praising Castillo to the crowd. Castillo climbs into the ring, smiles, and blows a mock kiss to the booing crowd)

M.F.: "And his opponent," (CUE-UP: "Better Than You" by Metallica) "From Hollywood, California, weighing in at 245lbs., 'STUPENDOUS' STEPHEN MORGAN!!"

(The crowd again boos as Morgan comes through the curtain, wearing light blue trunks and black boots. He looks at the crowd as if they are lepers, and climbs into the ring and stares at Castillo in the same way)

T.R.: "Okay, if Shades can collect himself, we can announce this match!"

J.S.: "Screw you Ross! I'll have your job as well as everyone else here in GLCW! NOBODY slaps me like that, ESPECIALLY that cheap tart Lady V, who ain't no lady! I'll have her and Malec living in a box in an alley behind my house! I don't have to take this crap!"

T.R.: "Yeah yeah yeah, we've heard it all before Shades, and nothing ever happens! Just accept that you got one-upped and try to call this match! Your toupee is still crooked by the way!"


T.R.: "Such language Jake."

R.W.: "Is he always like this?"

T.R.: "24 hours a day, Rick! OK, in the ring, we have Stephen Morgan and Angel Castillo, and the fans don't like either of these guys, which means Shades probably loves both of them! Sterling is on the apron and he won't get down as the referee is ordering him to get lost!"

R.W.: "The bell has rung but Sterling won't budge and I think he has something in his hand!"

T.R.: "Can't tell what it is but he's trying to draw Morgan over to him! Castillo is taunting Morgan and now Morgan is fed up and he approaches! He gets close and ohhhh!!! Sterling just threw some kind of powder but Morgan ducked and pulled Castillo in front of him!! Castillo just took a face full of powder from his own manager!! Morgan rolls him up tightly!! 1......2.....3!! And just like that, Stephen Morgan pulls out a very quick win here over Castillo!"

R.W.: "Sterling had better go back to the drawing board and figure out some better ways to help his man Castillo win some matches, because that backfired miserably, just like Shades' stunt!"

J.S.: "Dick, if you don't shut up I'll make sure your next meal comes from a dumpster!"

T.R.: "Morgan laughs at Castillo and Sterling as he exits the ring the victor, as the crowd rains down ridicule upon them! Sterling is trying to wipe the powder from Castillo's eyes but he's having a spastic fit in there, crying out in pain from the stinging powder! Stephen Morgan gets another mark in the win column as he rises through the ranks of GLCW!"

M.F.: "Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, 'STUPENDOUS' STEPHEN MORGAN!!"

(CUE-UP: "Better Than You" by Metallica)

R.W.: "At Massive Assault, we saw Morgan help Nikolai Ash beat Brian Lawler, and they tagged up at the show in Hammond, so not only is he becoming an accomplished singles wrestler, but he is a tag team threat along with the very skilled Nikolai Ash, who has very similar views as Morgan."

T.R.: "We shall see how that tag team fares in the weeks to come, but for now, Morgan is the winner! Oh look out Shades, here comes Lady V again! You want to hide behind me!? Ha ha!"

J.S.: "Now what??"

(The crowd cheers as Lady V emerges from the curtain again in her stunning cleavage-baring dress and walks past the announcers, smiling at Shades, and then over to the mysterious man in the front row with the trenchcoat and glasses. She walks over to him with a mic and speaks)

LADY VERONICA.: "Excuse me sir, several people in the back have been taking a notice of you and I was just wondering what the commotion is about. You do look familar."

????????: "Miss V., take a look at that ring. Take a good look at it. It's been a long time since I've been near it. You may have had some ideas who I am, what I am about, et cetera, et cetera...."

(The man in the trench coat and hat stands up slowly. He proceeds to take off his coat and hat, revealing a black t-shirt and mask over his face bearing the same symbol. The symbol, in white, belonging to Suicide. As Suicide reveals himself, the fans pop in recognition in the arena, chanting his name loudly)

SUICIDE: "You see Miss V., I didn't come here to garner any hype, I didn't come here to be praised by these people, I came here to wrestle. Mr. Krusher has been so kind to contact me and I've told him that I was interested in joining the GLCW. We signed whatever necessary paperwork was needed and I'm in."

(The fans continue to cheer loudly as Suicide looks around.)

LADY V: "So what is your reason for being here in GLCW then Suicide? What are you trying to accomplish?"

SUICIDE: "I have nothing else left to accomplish. I've won five different World Heavyweight Championships amongst other awards and accolades. Want to know the funny part? They don't mean a damn thing to me. I also didn't come here to make a big name for myself. I'm not egotistical like some of these wrestlers in GLCW. I came to wrestle and to see what I have left. These fans....nay, the wrestling world needs to be taken back to when wrestling was a sport and respected for what it was. Because when it's all said and done....win or lose....I'm going to do what I've always done and wrestle my heart, body, and soul. I'm not doing it to earn title shots, I'm not doing it so people can love me, I'm doing it because that's what wrestling needs. And maybe, which I doubt, but maybe GLCW needs someone like (the fans chant along)....The Man....the Myth....the Legend!"

(Suicide looks around the arena once more and then to Lady V.)

SUICIDE: "Nuff said....."

(Lady V thanks Suicide and walks back to the locker room)

T.R.: "How about that! Suicide has arrived in GLCW folks! What other surprises are in store tonight? Stay tuned and find out!"

(Fade to a commercial for the next Riptide in Milwaukee, Wisconsin)

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