The scene is a cramped office type looking area. There are people manning desks, frantically calling people on phones, RADAR screens up on the walls with concerned people looking at them, people checking printouts. Coordinating the efforts is the one and only Gordon Oliver Powell, the Phantom Republican. Coming up behind him is an intern, carrying a clipboard. He taps on GOP's shoulder, and Powell leaps around.
GOP: Holy mother of Lincoln! Don't sneak up on me like that.
Intern: It's just me, sir. I've got that GPS on Rabesque's last coordinates.
GOP: Oh, well then, good job. Where is he?
Intern: He was last seen leaving a French bakery in New Hope, PA. Or at least that's what reconnaissance would tell us. They've been kinda sketchy lately. They said that he was seen going into a brothel, but that was only a lookalike.
GOP: What are we using them for? Get the best agents we have on this job!
Intern: But sir, we... we... our best men are out getting information on al-Qaeda, the Sudan and Berkeley, California.
GOP just stands, looking tense. The intern breaks the silence.
Intern: Sss... sir... why do we have to tie up a war room here in the Pentagon just to find some wrestler?
GOP: Some wrestler?
The Phantom Republican's eyes light up like a Christmas tree. He turns around quickly.
GOP: Some wrestler!!? This man is violating his terms of deportment! I exiled him from this country and made him to remain outside these borders, and what does he do? He just waltzes right back in, like he doesn't respect a damn thing about United States law. All those bleeding heart Democrats in Congress thought I was crazy when I pitched militarizing the Canadian border. I told them those Canadians couldn't be trusted, but did they listen? No! And now, look at what they've done! They smuggled Rabesque back into the country and he ASSAULTED me! He criminally assaulted me when he had no business being out there after I was robbed yet again of my NEW World Championship.
Intern: He just hit you with a chair. I thought that's what wrestlers did.
GOP: Yes, that's what they do, but Rabesque is not a legal resident of this country. He's not a wrestler, he's a toad! A filthy, slimy frog who is breaking the terms of his exile!
Among the hustle and bustle, another worker rushes up to GOP with a cellphone.
Worker: Sir! Sir! Urgent phone call!
GOP: Is it INS? Have they finally got Rabesque restrained?
Worker: No, it's NEW offices. It's about your bookings this week.
GOP: Oh, well then...
He takes the phone.
GOP: Hello? Yes, this is he. How are you doing... oh, my booking this week, I thought I asked to have off so I could continue my manhunt... what? What do you mean LaRoque never got the written, notorized and sealed order from the Pentagon? Don't you know... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, but... oh fine, who is it... Larry Tact? Clash of the Titans? What the hell! Fine, fine then, just... I'll take care of it.
GOP closes up the cell phone.
GOP: All right, change of plans. I'll take this GPS report on Rabesque, but you now need to grab me everything you can find on Larry Tact. His previous wrestling history, medical documents, criminal record, a list of known allergens...
Intern: Allergens? Are you going to throw shrimp at him?
GOP: If that's what it takes, then yes! Can't you see we're under attack by multiple forces here? If you wan to *****foot around, then be my guest. But when Canadians start coming into your neighborhood, push you around and replace all your smoky, American bacon with a funny tasting ham that they pass for bacon up north?
I mean, you heard Tact when he was under the mask, I asked him if he were with me and he said he wasn't. If you're not with me, you're against me. He's a dangerous threat, and he's definitely going to impede our progress with this infestation of hosers from the North! It's madness! Do you want to live in a country where madness rules?
Intern: Umm, no.
GOP: Then for the love of God, GO GET ME A REPORT ON TACT!
Intern: Yeah, sure.
The intern exits back as GOP starts pacing impatiently. The scene fades to the NEW logo.
