(We fade in with a cheap homemade camera. We got Guy Hoerneman behind doing cinemetography, but not like you'd know. Seated on a stool in what looks like some guys garage, there's Clapper. Bald, trench coat, sunglasses, cigarette... the whole image, decked out there in front of you. He grins when the camera comes into focus.)
"Ah... it feels great to be back in the sport of professional wrestling. All the fresh talent around me... smells more like fresh meat to me. Just ripe, begging for the cleaver to come and cut them apart, end their naive and young little passions fast and easy, without delay."
"Oh, for those of you who don't know, I go by Clapper. There's a story to everything, but I'll leave that for another day. I'm not what you'd call a professional wrestler. I do dirty work... I do things I couldn't tell you, and you wouldn't believe. There is no boogeyman in the closets of children across the world... it's just me standing outside their door. People pay me to kill other people... or, sometimes, just do really, really bad stuff to them."
"And now, I'm GXW's biggest problem... ah, me..."
(Takes a puff of his cigarette.)
"Do I expect any of you to believe that? Heh, no I don't... nobody did in SCW, and I don't expect any of it here. Rather, I expect you to step into the ring, wriggle around at every fruitless attempt to save yourself as I do what I do, and lay there bleeding when I'm done."
"I don't like talking, but sometimes I find myself rambling when I'd rather be doing better, more important things. With that said, I'll keep this short and to the point."
"I'm not here for belts and fame... I'm not here because I like this industry. In fact, I think becoming a professional wrestler is a good way to waste your career. A good, brawny lad of a young age could be a great asset to society, as a laborer... or a competitor in a REAL sport, like football. But wrestling? Give me a break. All these sweat guys in small little tights that bump and grind into each other... really makes me worried sometimes. The only part of wrestling I like is the contact of fist to face, the red blood spattered against the white mat, the agony, pain, and screaming for surrender."
(He shrugs, chuckles a little.)
"I hear you asking right now, what am I doing in this sport if I look at it that way? Heh... I ask myself every day I remember I'm now part of the GXW roster..."
"Growing up, I've done nothing but take orders and fulfill them. I don't have any hobbies. I don't paint pictures, or play music, or write poetry or anything. There isn't much in the world I enjoy, or anything I take for entertainment. But when it comes to one thing, I might be so willing to step out of my way and do something crazy like lower myself to the level of wrestler just to feel it."
"Professional wrestling has a lot of people filled with spirit, but empty in the head. There's a lot of guys who get their hopes so high in success, but when it comes down to it, only the small few get there. I'm the dark messiah to these people... I come in, I end their careers before they waste valuable years jacking off in the undercard, and give them a second chance as a crippled guy."
"Hey, it's the best I can do. I like seeing people with tears in their eyes, their hearts broken, knowing that isn't, and never CAN be me. That's my personal revenge on this world, considering I never grew up with the same opportunities as others. I'm here to crush all the hopes and dreams of the young guys hoping to be famous some day..."
"Do I sound evil yet? Heh... wait until you REALLY get to know me."
(He chuckles again, taking another drag from the cigarette.)
"I'm not going to get into what I've done, what I do, or what I will do. Like I said, I wanna be to the point. Just watch Onslaught. See what becomes of that other guy... forget his name, but I guess it isn't important. He's a bottom feeder... just getting paychecks for jobbing."
"So I'll do the fed a favor and just take care of him. I've been known to end the careers of nobodies in the past..."
"Anybody ever heard of Jeff Kane? No? Oh well, I guess he doesn't matter..."
"So sit back, relax, and watch as I step into GXW and... well, do what I do. Have a nice day..."
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