* The words echoed in Kin Hiroshi's ears as he sat down in a leather recliner. His body still sore from his return match against Kevin Powers the former Muffin Man let out a gentle sigh as his body settled.
He knew that by showing the weakness, it gave Radder an advantage. Kin didn't care. He liked the odds against him.
In fact, the odds had been against him a while. Now is the time that he finally steps up and moves past the mid-card spot that he has filled. Now is the time for Kin Hiroshi's limelight.
Kin flips open a small dictionary in his lap, as the camera's begin to roll. *
KIN HIROSHI: "Destiny. Noun. Definition one: The inevitable or necessary fate to which a partciular person or thing is destined; one's lot. Definition two: A perdetermined course of events considered as something beyond human power or control. Definition three: The power or agency thought to predetermine events."
* Kin flips backwards through the dictionary a moment and rests on another page. *
KIN HIROSHI: "Fate. Noun. Definition one: The supposed force, principle, or power that predetermines events; the inevitable events predestined by this force. Definition two: A final result or consequence; an outcome. Definition three: Unfavorable destiny; doom.
I don't really care for that last definition..."
* He smirks as he flips through the dictionary again. *
KIN HIROSHI: "Purpose. Noun. Definition one: The object which one strives or for which something exists; an aim or a goal. Definition two: A result or effect that is intended or desired; an intention. Definition three: Determination; resolution. Definition four: The matter at hand; the point at issue."
* The dictionary is laid to rest on the coffee table in front of the chair, and Kin takes a long sigh as he slouches back into the recliner. *
KIN HIROSHI: "Mr. Radder, Steve, if I may. What is it that all of these words have in common? What binds them; makes them inseperable?
"Is it the fact that everyone's purpose is laid out by a destiny driven by fate? Ah-ha! See, now I could go into a big long lecture of how my purpose is to win this tournament, the title, the world, the moon and the sun because fate has predetermined it.
"I could lecture about how I've been down-trodden and burned for too long and now, like a pheonix, I will rise from the ashes that were my previous life and prevail because a higher purpose is waiting for me beyond you.
"Of course, this would be too cliche, and I would hate myself in the morning for saying something so arrogant to THE Steve Radder. Mostly because I don't believe a single word of it. In fact, the only connection that I place between destiny, fate and purpose is that they are all nouns. They all pertain to the part of speech that describes a subject or object of a verb.
"In all honesty, I could care less about those words because they denounce the very philosophy that I live my life by: A man makes his own way.
"I have constantly strived to make my own way, Steve. I didn't always. Hell, I let Eddy Love run my life back in EWI so long ago. Ever since my parting with Eddy and the Super Sports Network, I haven't leaned on anyone or anything to get a job done for me. I've talked the talk that I needed to, and walked the walk that I've paved.
"So now, it comes down to you and me squaring off. For you, this is just the path to another title reign. For me, it's the chance to exceed past what I have been given. Granted, the cards are stacked in your favor.
"You're bigger, stronger, faster. You're a seasoned veteran that has beaten men like me and men better than me time and time again. F**k, man, you're Steve Radder. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a mark.
"If a person were to look at the big picture, they would place all their chips on you. Radder for the easy payoff of the night, but they'd be underestimating me. I am a little worn out right now because someone underestimated me.
"I took Kevin Powers the distance last week in NFW. I did lose to Kevin, but, honestly, I think he's a far better competitor than the next man I'm facing. Wouldn't you agree Mr. Radder? Kevin brought it all out of me: the aggression, the drive, the excitement! My God, for the first time since stepping back into the ring, I felt that I could achieve something. Even if it wasn't against Mr. Powers.
"So now, I'm facing another giant in the industry. Steve Radder. A man who dominated the competition and climbed to the top of CSWA. A man who I should not take lightly.
"But Steve, need I remind you who I am? I'm the Muffin Man."
(Taking a break from his CSWA17 training, STEVE RADDER spends a moment speaking with CSWA cameraman about the Champion’s Challenge Final he is in.)
STEVE RADDER: Man, after you went all mime on us in your previous match, Kin, it was looking like it was gonna be Steve Radder getting all the licks in, and while it still does, at least now you’re talking. For a while there, I was starting to wonder if Kin Hiroshi was Japanese for Deaf Mute.
The problem is, Webster, no-one wants to spend their time listening to you reading out definitions of things that really have no bearing on the task at hand, which is me deciding who goes on to get the big match against The Bug. It almost seems as if your whole strategy for this thing centers around lulling Radder to sleep in the middle of the ring and pinning my shoulders to the ground after you’ve read out the definition for “dimorphic”.
And then … you bust out with the “fact” that you just took Kevin Powers to the limit over in some other fed. Well guess what. Steve Radder wipes his nose with Kevin Powers’ shirt. I didn’t just beat him when I came back here … I beat him, and one other. At the same time. Kevin Powers doesn’t impress me, and you know what, neither does Eddy Love. All your running with Love proves is that you were either misguided or have bad taste. If you think the fact that you “held your own” with Powers means you’ve got me right where you want me, then go ahead and think that, but I got something to tell ya: You got another thing coming.
You want to talk about “fate” and “destiny” relating to our match? Well, let Mr. Radder educate you on something. I was already named the #1 Contender to take the title away from The Bug … and then that mysteriously vanished. Then, I get entered into some tournament with two mime-wannabes, and a wacko with a seriously messed up dude on her arm. I have to win two matches to get back something that was already mine, that Thomas took away. Whatever. Thomas is a smart guy, he knows Steve Radder sells the ducats. Steve Radder puts the butts in seats. Thomas, the fans, hell, it seems even you know it, it’s Showtime when Radder’s around. Time for me to take back what’s mine.
* Fade in to Hiroshi walking through the Tokyo Airport on the way to his flight back to the United States for the biggest show of the year, CSWA Anniversary 2005. *
KIN HIROSHI: Mr. Radder. Okay, okay okay. Sure, I didn't show once or twice. I did pull the "mime" act, as you like to call it, Steve, but when you're a man who runs a multi-million dollar company you have other things on your mind.
When there's talks of your company being bought out by the biggest pastry company in the world, you kind of shudder at the thought of the money it would bring in. Your mind wanders, you get distracted by the gold and glitter.
Who am I kidding? Okay, I ran scared. You got me. Like a dog with his tail between his legs, I scampered off into some little corner of the world where the big bad Steve Radder couldn't find me and hurt me. The gold and glitter faded away, and I was left beaten. Only, not by you.
It was the gold and glitter that beat me. The gold and glitter that won. It had beaten me once before when I held the Greensboro title, and I didn't learn my lesson. I let it seep into my every pore, consume me, and I figured I would have it forever. That is, until Hornet took it.
Oh, s**t, my bad. That's what happened to you with the US Title, that's right! That's what we're wrestling for isn't it? Damn, you know, you probably got something to say to Hornet. Too bad you won't get that chance, because I'm moving on and you're going to be laid up somewhere asking yourself how you lost to me.
Thomas was right to do what he did. He got jiggy on your strutting ass, and took what he could. Sure, right, uh-huh, he knows it's SHOWTIME when Radder's around, but there's a reason that he brought me back to the CSWA when he did. That's because Showtime ain't got nothing on HBO, and Radder, the Soprano's are about to roll into Anniversary for an ass whooping.
Am I scared this time? No, in fact, I was wondering if Steve Radder was American English for f**king retarded. I mean, if Kin Hiroshi is Japanese for Deaf Mute, you must have to be a retard to be able to get into these kind of Special Olympics. Just remember, even if you win, you're still a loser Steve.
I mean, I was thinking to myself, who berates a man's vocabulary? Then I remembered, where I am, in a wrestling league. Steve, you wouldn't know the difference between a bee and Hornet at this point. Here's some advice, get off the juice and out of the gym, and pick up a good book sometime. You know Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is coming out this week, maybe you should check it out. It's right around your reading level. Hell, you might even learn something.
But, buddy, there's no amount of Imerio or Avada Kedavra spells are going to get you out of the world class ass whooping for the US Title shot that I'm going to deliver. After you, it's me and Hornet, and he damn sure better be rested from Eli Flair to be able to handle Kin Hiroshi.
So, Mr. Radder, you keep training for Anniversary. You get in the shape and mind frame that you need to get in, because, baby, I'm already there and you have some serious catching up to do.
(The following interview aired on the Jim Rome Show, on The Fan 1200 radio in Los Angeles this morning.)
JIM ROME: ... and thanks for the call. Alright clones, we're in for a treat in the next segment. Joining me in studio is former CSWA United State and World Champion, Steve Radder. Steve, welcome to the jungle.
STEVE RADDER: Thanks for the vine, Romey.
JIM ROME: Absolutely. Now Steve, the CSWA's signature event is coming up, CSWA17, aka, Anniversary, aka, we're all going to see some messed up stuff.
STEVE RADDER: Probably some midgets, at least one total beatdown, among others. On top of all that, Steve Radder once again showing that he's Mr. Showtime, that he's back, he's back on the way to #1, that The Bug better watch out, because this time Thomas isn't going to be able to save his skin.
JIM ROME: Steve, you're one of the true superstars in wrestling today, and you're coming back to your first ANNIVERSARY event in years. Tell me something: what's worse, someone not knowing what ANNIVERSARY is, or not knowing who Steve Radder is.
STEVE RADDER: Obviously the latter, Romey, as you well know and the fans know, it's always Showtime when Radder's around, which is why I'm on the card, fighting to get my shot at The Bug back. Radder lights up the lights, puts butts in the seats and then takes them right back out when I make my way down the aisle for the next beating.
JIM ROME: The Bug ... that term will never get old. As I mentioned, it's been some time since you've wrestled at an ANNIVERSARY event, how have you been preparing?
STEVE RADDER: Well, first I tried to come up with a great, flashy new nickname, but "Vacant" was taken ... coulda gone with "Absent" and we coulda formed a tag team, but you know, decided against it at the last minute. Then I just decided to bring it to the ring, beat down some chumps, and fight my way back to the top. Right where Steve Radder belongs.
JIM ROME: That's really too bad about the nickname, that could have been a total force to be reckoned with ... a quick word on your opponent, Kin Hiroshi, Steve.
STEVE RADDER: I don't have much more to say about some dude who calls himself the Muffin Man. This is the freakin' CSWA, the greatest wrestling promotion in the world, not freakin' Barney and Friends.
JIM ROME: (Laughing) ... No, it most certainly is not. I'm in studio with Steve Radder, who will appear in the Champion's Challenge Final at CSWA17 next week to fight for an opportunity to fight US Champion Hornet for the belt. Steve, you were scheduled to take Hornet on some time ago but the match was scrapped at the last moment.
STEVE RADDER: Right.
JIM ROME: Tell me how you feel about this tournament?
STEVE RADDER: Like I said before, Romey, I get put in this tournament with three schmucks, all to earn Thomas some more scratch, which Steve Radder's done in droves. I beat that costumed freak JA in Denver and I'm gonna mop the floor with the Muffin Man ... all to take back the belt.
JIM ROME: What's your motivation?
STEVE RADDER: To be the best, Romey, to get back what I deserve, to take back an opportunity that Steve Radder should never have lost in the first place. There's no motivation for Steve Radder aside from winning, being the best. Being the champion I know I can be, the fans know I can be, that Thomas doesn't want me to be.
JIM ROME: We've got an e-mail in here from a listener. Dear Rome, The Muffin Man is a very intimidating nickname, sincerely, Barney, Teddy Ruxpin, and Skeletor. Man, you know you're on a roll when you're getting e-mails from Skeletor. And, another one, Dear Rome, Kin Hiroshi was a difficult opponent, sincerely, Henderson Bramble, Mickey Mouse, and 90-year Old Grandma With A Walker.
STEVE RADDER: Sounds about right.
JIM ROME: Steve Radder, Mr. Showtime, here in the jungle with us this Friday, about a week before CSWA17, where he hopes to earn a shot at the US Title ...
STEVE RADDER: Already earned it Romey, had it taken away, but I'm gonna get it back, just like I'm gonna squash the bug and become a repeat champion. Just like I'm gonna chew the Muffin Man up and spit him back out.
JIM ROME: Steve, you've got something about you, where you know you're the best.
STEVE RADDER: I know I am, Romey, you have to know that to do anything in this business. I'm meant to win this tournament ... it's mine to lose ... which is exactly what Thomas wants. It's not gonna happen, Steve Radder's the favorite for a reason, because he's gonna win. The oddsmakers know it, I know it, you know it, the clones know it, hell, even the Muffin Man knows it.
JIM ROME: Steve, thanks for coming in to talk to us, good job, good luck next week though obviously you won't need it, on top of everything, Jungle Karma is on your side.
STEVE RADDER: That's right ... I've got to go call the hospitals in Greenboro to tell them to be ready for a broken Muffin Man, so I'm out Jim.
JIM ROME: Rack him ... a great interview. CSWA17 is coming up July 24, you can see more of our guest Steve Radder there where if Jungle Karma holds up, he's going to deliver one of the "total beatdowns" he predicted earlier in the interview. And how about that Barney and Friends blast (Chuckles.) ... that's a classic.
* All it takes is Kin Hiroshi and a park bench. Maybe a few cameras too. Kin reaches into a bag full of birdseed and tosses some to the waiting pigeons. *
KIN HIROSHI: "Man, Steve, you one upped me. You got on the radio to bad mouth me. See, I'm going to use this television spot to get to you. Why? Because the general public associates with a person who's willing to put a face behind a message.
"Sure, most sports fanatics will know who Jim Rome is, but who cares? Honestly, someone like you, who's had the CSWA World title should be able to do better than Rome. Hell, I've never held any world title and I've been a guest on everything from The Daily Show with John Stewart to Late Night with Conan O'brien. The good Conan, with Andy Richter.
"I've hob-knobbed with sultans and I've gotten drunk with shieks. I've travelled the world only to find one truth: Steve Radder will never win the CSWA United State Championship.
"See, this isn't like your World Title Steve. You might actually have to beat someone to win this one. Is that why you're so upset about Thomas taking away your title from you? Because you have to work for a title that you should hold at all?
"Plus, why are you even trying to get the US title back? I mean, weren't you World Title material once? Oh, I get it, just can't cut it up there with that calibre of men, huh? Sure, I'll be first to admit that those are some big dogs up there, and I'm fine hanging back in the shadows of the US Title race. But Steve, man, after you got out wrestled by Evan Aho and lost your precious World Title, you just haven't been the same, have you?
"The name Steve Radder is down in the history books as being a CSWA Champion, but that's about all your reign was good for: being on paper.
"I mean, you keep making the general assumptions about me that everyone else makes. Let me explain something about cutting against me. In fact, this goes out to everyone listening:
"1) You are focusing on wrestling a match that you'll never get, because you aren't focused on me.
"Point and case, Steve, you seem to think that Hornet is your next opponent. Fact of the matter, Hiroshi is your next opponent. Get it right, boy-oh.
"B) You seem to think that the Muffin Man is a name that exudes weakness and vulnerability.
"Here's the other one that gets me. See, I didn't even come up with that stupid name. In fact, I was 'The Japanese Thunder' Kin Hiroshi until those asshats in EWI decided that 'Hey, he owns a muffin company' and BAM! Faster than Emeril making an omelette I'm stucking saying 'Do you know the Muffin Man' for the rest of my unnatural life. Yeah yeah yeah, it's not the most terrifying name, but then again I could go strutting around calling myself Showtime.
"Finally) You keep telling me you're going to beat me over and over and over, but in so MANY different ways.
"Okay, this one is the kicker. This is what pisses me off. Find something original to say, or don't say anything at all. Especially to me. I'm quite a cunning linguist and I expect my opponent to be too. 'I'll bury you', 'I'll pin you so fast with my, insert move here", 'You'll wish you were never born because I'll put you through hell', 'Hell, I'll go back in time and make it happen by convincing your parents to abort you'; they all say the same damn thing to me. It's quite boring, really, and doesn't add any flair to what you mean.
"I sure as hell ain't your stepping stone to the United States title, and I sure as hell ain't going to let you think that you can beat me. I'm stepping out of the shadows of men like you, and it's time everyone saw that Kin Hiroshi is main event material.
"I've known it for a long time, but now it's your time to know Steve.
"And just to let Jim Rome know, that 90-year-old Grandma had it coming. ***** took my parking spot."
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