BYW Orlando: Psycho Granny vs. MWG

[ShawnHartXXX]

Gender benders duke it out in Granny's House of Pain!!

Stipulations:
1-Reverse Bra & Panties match (Competitors begin the match in their underwear. First to fully clothe his or her opponent is the winner).
2-Granny's House O' Pain (Ring is filled with weapons you would find at your grandmother's house, i.e. rocking chairs, canes, black-and-white televisions, catheters, colostamy bags, pill bottles, Grandpa, etc.)

Post RP here.

 

[NotorisSTD]

Fag Power....

(CUEUP: “What do they know?” by Mindless Self Indulgence…)
(A distressed MWG is huddled up on the floor on Krist Blue’s living room, somewhere in Boston…In a stomach cutoff “FAG POWER” T-shirt, neon green briefs, and alternating pink and black nail polish on his bare toes, dried up tears have caused his makeup to run…He’s a sad, vulnerable clump of goo…)

“the hardcore legend”
“the IT boy”
“the American idol”
“the surreal”

MWG: I could’ve been someone….

I’m sure some of you, my adoring public, have noticed things of late have been a little bleak. My TV title, my baby, was STOLEN from me…S’not like I LOST it, of course. It was just ripped away, out of my arms, like an infant sucking on it’s mother’s teat…And the worst part is I might never get a chance to get it back. Just like with Beau…Just like that. Gone. Like all I suffered and felt for suddenly didn’t matter. Like when I want something, and I work hard for it, and all that, pretty much always…I just end up losing it for no reason….

Well…I guess really, the worst part is without a steady paycheck from NEW, it’s been kinda hard to buy stuff…And now the landlord’s leaving angry voicemails…And if they shut off my cable, however will I keep in touch with Lorelei and Rory, my last two friends left?....And I thought it might be back to the curb, y’know? Back to charging ten dollars a handjob in the men’s bathroom….And out of the blue, Shawn Hart calls me, and tells me he wants me to put Psycho Granny’s clothes back on….

Not as fun or rewarding as the handjob gig, obviously. But it pays a lot better…

…I beat Maelstrom. I beat Copycat. I beat Jean Rabesque. I beat El Arco Iris. I’m one of the greatest wrestlers, like, ever? Totally?

I could’ve been a star.

Instead I’m one misstep away from swallowing man milk all night just to pay the rent…

Well, y’know sumpthin’ Mean Jeans? (stands) I say NO MORE, babes. I say it’s time I quit wallowing in self pity and make a f(bleep)king stand…

Psycho Granny…It might go against everything I stand for…It might go against every single instinct I have…To take a look at your firm…muscular…awesomely androgynous and anatomically ambiguous….devvvvvastatingly sexy body…and actually put MORE clothing on it….But I’ma gonna. ‘n Then I’ma gonna drop you on your head ‘till even YOU can’t remember if you’re a boy or a girl, like I already don’t. Nor do I care. I don’t know how we’re going to do it, my darling. Maybe you’ll have to put it inside me, maybe I’ll have to put it inside you….Oh, who am I kidding? It’s gonna have to be a little of both…

In fact, I insist on it…

But y’wanna know sumpthin’ else, Tight Jeans….People say “Oh…that Em Dubbya Gee…he’s all about nihilism and debauchery and decadence and death ‘n all that sorta thing. But honey that’s simply not true!!! See….I am a real American. I fight for the rights of every man. I fight for what’s right. I fight for my life. Y’know?...

No one who would actually bill themselves as “Psycho Granny,” has the power of truth and justice on their side, like EYE do. And that, Psycho Granny, is what’s going to make this a reverse seduction. The exact opposite of you f(bleep)king me. Even if that is what I really want, my noble agenda conduces to me to do otherwise. Cuz sometimes, when it’s time to show what you’re made of…You gotta do some *really* nasty sh(bleep). The kinda thing would wouldn’t do for fifty bucks, To the tune of Faggot. Faggot. ffffff(flexes)Faggot.

 

[GARTHIsTheLaw]

(Fade in on a darkened room. The only sound that can be heard is a steady creaking. Then a voice resonates from the darkness)

Psycho Granny: ...Seven years.

(A light flickers on, dimly illuminating the massive figure of Psycho Granny as she sits in a rocking chair, slowly rocking back and forth. The light is so minimal that we can't really see anything else in the room, nor any more of Granny than her silouette. She continues speaking, her voice wavering)

Granny: ...That's how long it's been. They made me stop. They said I was unstable. They said they couldn't count on me anymore. They said I was a liability. They said they'd find something else for me.

(Granny's voice takes a more sinister edge)

Granny: They LIED.

(Granny's voice drops back to wavering)

Granny: They weren't worried about what I was doing in the ring, what I was doing to my opponents. It's what they said. But deep down, I know they loved what I did to my opponents just as much as I did. No one had ever seen anything like me. No, they weren't worried about my opponents. They were worried about themselves. It was...

(Granny loudly smacks her fist into her palm)

Granny: It was the BRUTALITY. Oh, they loved it at first. Every time some peppy, fresh-faced little WHORE was thrown at me, I tore her to pieces. There was NOBODY that could beat me, and the best part...oh, the best part...everyone knew it. I won the WWL Women's Title in the first match of my CAREER.

(Granny gives a creepily spontaneous giggle)

Granny: They wanted me to start wrestling men. Women couldn't compete against me. I was going to be something new.

(The anger rises rapidly in Granny's voice)

Granny: AND THEY TORE IT AWAY FROM ME. Suddenly, brutality was unpopular. They pulled me out...because what I was doing was suddenly unacceptable. But now...

(Another unsettling giggle)

Granny: FINALLY...they're sending me BACK. Seven years of hate, all to be unleashed...on MWG.

(Granny's voice drops to a darker tone)

Granny: MWG seems to be occupied with other issues. But he'd better focus. Because even MWG has never encountered ANYTHING like me before.

(Granny stands up out of the chair. Luckily, the light is still dim, so she is still only a silouette. I say "luckily" because JESUS CHRIST SHE'S NAKED. Thank the gods you can't really SEE anything except an outline)

Granny: MWG, there will be NO way to enjoy the pain I bring you. There will be NO way to appreciate the things I will do to your body. They tell me self-destruction is popular in the business nowadays. But no matter HOW much you might enjoy destroying yourself, you will NEVER...EVER...EVER be able to derive pleasure from what I will do to you.

(Granny effortlessly lifts the chair she was sitting in and hurls it offscreen, causing an extremely loud crash)

Granny: Since I've been gone, a new era of pain has been ushered in. But with my return, the old pain will be back. The kind of pain that will only inflict TERROR. And REGRET. I am destruction beyond self-destruction. I am Psycho Granny.

(Fade out)

 

[NotorisSTD]

(CUEUP: “1989” by Mindless Self Indulgence…)
(FADEIN: 2…3 am maybe…Back at Krist Blue’s apartment. Em Dubbya Gee is sitting around his in Power Puff Girls boxer shorts, on the red leather sofa, passively flipping through channels on the TV…suddenly he stops on Psycho Granny’s promo…His eyes immediately pop open…he leans foreword to get a better look at the screen….)

MWG:….Oh….my….goodness….

(psycho granny’s promo keeps going…if you wanna hear what she’s saying, you can scroll up a little bit, I guess…Em slides off the couch, and slides right in front of the TV…Practically pressing his eyes against the screen, the way his mom told him not to….)

MWG: She’s so…captivating? Is that the right word?....Is there a word?

(Granny’s promo continues, and Em starts rubbing his stomach…then his hand slides under the front of his boxers and he starts rubbing ah…something else.)

MWG: I…can’t even remember the last time I felt quite like this about a woman…But it’s not even….Good god…

I thought I had already had sex with every conceivable kind of thing…But not even I can conceive of Psycho Granny…

I can’t conceive of destruction beyond self destruction either…I almost paid to have my penis cut off once….

I thought I had experienced everything, and I got so jaded…But this…so called “psycho granny…” She can show me a new level of taboo….(MWG slides his other hand down the back of his boxers…)

And I…am….so…super…excited…..

(the rest of this promo was deemed unfit for broadcast.)