Brian Lawler vs. Nikolai Ash

[TBirdSCIL]

Please keep all RP for this match in this folder...

 

[rockw1]

he camera comes up to a smiling L.G Brown and he is standing on the lawn of what appears to be some type of huge home somewhere below the Mason-Dixon Line. Lance is leaning on a light post that has a cardboard sign hanging off of it. The sign reads.....SOUTH ANNEX OF THE NORTH POLE.
"Hello.fans! This is Lance G. Brown of Pro Wrestling Illuminated, on special assignment here in Great Lakes Championship Wrestling! We have been led to this location, tonight due to a very strange message recived in PWI offices earlier today. It seems as if inside this magnificent home behind me is Santa Claus!..That's right Mr. Kris Kringle!...The BIG RED ONE!...as we understand it there is an announcement that will be forthcoming in a few days concerning the new GLCW action figures that old Mr. Xmas will have available next year. I know that this is the week in between the one night miracle flight that occurrs every December 24 and the New Year! So we won't be able to get a direct interview with the Jolly old elf himself. But lets take a look inside this window and see if yours truly, Lance Brown can get another PWI/GLCW scoop!"
The camera zooms in on the window that Brown has pointed to. The first thing we notice is a huge Christmas tree and then our attention quickly turns to a beautiful young woman in what can only be described as holiday lingere!!!!!...she is talking to a man who appears to be none other that Santa, himself.

Vixen: "Boss, I don't know if these new GLCW action figures are going to be ready..the toymakers are working their little buns off on these things but so far they don't have much to work with." Vixen holds up what appears to be two action figures resembling members of the Unholy Alliance.

Santa take the two figures from Vixen."HAHHAHA! These must be Flatwhiner and Krac-ho!!!!..I remember these two! What does this Flatwhiner acrtion figure do?"

Vixen:"Well thats the problem.....he dosen't do anything but walk in circles and talk to himself. And the other one..Kraven..He just follows Flatliner around, bent over sniffing" Vixen giggles.

Santa: "Well I guess the need some serious work! What about this one?" he picks another figure up and holds it in the air and the arms and legs fall off!..."What the heck is this one's problem?"

Vixen: "Well...Gizmo, one of our elf toy makers is a huge GLCW fan and he saw that this figure....Nikolai Ash is scheduled to compete against "Bad Company" Brian Lawler.....so Gizmo made this figure up to the post match specifications.


Santa: Post match specifications?

Vixen smiles slyly.." Well its a sure thing that Brain Lawler is going to beat the crap out of Nikolai Ash and tear him limb fromn limb....sooooo....when you push down on Nikolai's head...his arms and legs pop off!!!!!!!" both Sanat and Vixen brust into laughter.

Santa:" Hey, This Gizmo needs a raise and some ringside seats!..I love this action figure...." Santa holds up a "Bad Company" Brian Lawler figure. he pushes the button in the back and Lawler's arm swings dowm and smacks the Nikolai Ash figure on top of the head and Ash's arms and legs fly across the room........

Vixen laughs and turns away as if trying to hide something from Santa..:What's that you have there darling?" Santa motions to the figure Vixen is trying to hide.

Vixen:'UH..nothing...just a figure of Michael Manson..but its messed up."
"Let me see it" Santa says and takes it from Vixen. His eyes bug out and he just shakes his head... " I see the problem with this one already...he has on high heels!"

"Unfortunately, it gets worse," Vixen repiles..."Manson actually comes with............
Well..Manson actually comes with 3 pairs of high heels...and none of them match or go with the GLCW Belt!"
Santa breaks out laughing again with a huge roar! "HAHAHAHA that sute is a problem......maybe we should leave him the shoes and just take away the belt!HAHAHAHAHA"...he stops laughing and looks at a very large box sitting on the floor...."Whats in the box,Vixen"

Vixen; "Oh, that the Sean Edmunds figure." Vixen reaches into the box and pulls out the Edmunds figure. Santa just stares and scratches his head..."Why such a big box for such a small action figure?"

Vixen smiles and winks..."We had to put him in that huge box...its the only way we could get his ego to fit in there too!

Santa again roars with laughter.."STOP!!...youre killing me! I can't take anymore..Lets go down to the toy shop and see what else they have..." Santa and Vixen start out the door and the camera pulls back to Lance Brown standing by the window....."There you have it Fans!!The first look at the new GLCW action figures! This is gonna be something!"...the camera starts to pull back and we see Santa's face in the window...he pulls down on his beard and we instanly recognize BRIAN LAWLER!!!....."This is Lance G. Brown for PWI/GLCW.WITH ANOTHER SCOOP!!!!!!...Happy new year and Jake Shades...Eat your heart out!!!!!
the camera fades to black

 

[ChrisCornell]

(fade in: the room is not well light. You can tell it is some sort of library setting. In the center of the room is a candle on a table, you can see through the dim light books on shelves. To one corner you see a chair, and a figure on that chair. He is in all black, and his face is covered. After a short pause, his head pokes out, and reveals the unshaven face of Nikolai Ash, enjoying a good book.. or so we’d think, for the light is too dark for someone to be able to consciously read. He looks tired, exhausted, and paranoid. As the camera zooms in, he bites his lower lip with one tooth, and begins to breath heavily.)

..some say, I am not one for conformity that I stay away from the center of the ever evolving conundrum, this is but a fallacy of the mind perpetrated by my fancies and my millions of cells combining together to create a fantasy of the imagination and perpetrating your cerebellum. Maybe it’s just me, but I do not think it’s possible for one to be able to not conform at least once in their existence, it’s a distinct possibility.. and we’ve all let down our Loral’s to it’s evil lady in blue. Does one follow me..

::long mind-numbing pause:::

Or does one go off on their own, take the fork in the road to their own bliss or their own damnation? I guess that’s up to interpretation and I guess it’s up to your beliefs, and how strong you are mentally and how you can battle starvation .. not of the literal sense, as in that your stomach yearns for food. .where your palate.. demands the nutrients. The starvation that deals with a different palate, the palate of life.. and all it’s colours.. where they have become so DRAB! AND MONOTONOUS! That one can only follow their own way, because they can not put up with the world in front of us, and it’s conformity, it’s white shirt, black tie, black blazer.. world, the Hello Mum, Hello Pop, what’s for dinner tonight, TV Dinner, let’s go watch some Leave It To Beaver.. day, they must take a chance, and make something of themselves.

I think to myself that I’ve come to that point, I am not sure why I did not realize it sooner, maybe because I was too preoccupied with others, then myself, or maybe not, I do confuse myself quite often and I may be off on a tangent where I can not recover, and even the laws of physics and other such worldly sciences can not help but keep me from spinning off into an oblivion, a higher consciousness, and some states of euphoria. Is it rapture, that turns a man into what they are to become later in life? Is it the delight of a home-cooked meal, the smell of perfume on their lovers neck, or is it the dread, the fear, the pain they suffer at a young, docile age that turns them into the flesh-eating, carnivorous, sometimes cannibalistic adults they will become?

::Ash begins to crack his neck and then puts it down and breaths, he begins to sulk::

::grabbing a full hand of hair:: …What is it? What? Why? What is it? Why now? Now, later? How come? Here? Now? In front of them? But.. Jesus, Christ.. I don’t need this. Do you need this? ::faces camera::

…uhh, no. I didn’t think so, the torments of another man.. are not for the low-intellectual types that tune in weekly to sit and drool. The women in their tight spandex and leopard blouse, wishing to grapple with the oily men in the ring, the men wishing their wives would think about them like that… so they decide to go to the gym, and work out.. daily, and forget about their kids.. their mortgage, their wife all together.. and end up getting a divorce.. and die a lonely life, chugging Creatine and chasing it down with vodka.

Why is it so difficult? Is why the real question? Or is what the real answer? I’m not sure. Do I make sense, or do I lack sensibility? Are you stable, or are you unable to remain sane? Do your drapes, match the carpet.. or does your cousin not want to know? How much dirt is in a hole, and where does Mr. Roger live, and why do I need him as a neighbor so badly? Questions are never answered, why? That’s simply the answer. They’re rhetorical, in so many ways.. questions lack answers, because the ones asking are too busy, and too lazy to find out the answers by themselves, they must starve them selves, and purge to the almighty knowing ones.. the busy-bodies, who know it all down at Curl Up and Dye, hair salon. .. can you relate to them, probably not, but can you relate to me, even less so. This takes me to a point… wrestling, the spectacle of a human being, a talent passed down through the ages…

::Ash picks his head up and squints his left eye::

With a clump of phlegm in my throat, I begin to realize that what I do in that ring matters, not only to me.. but to the peons and slow-witted industrial computer controlled trailer park oil slicks. It also matters to the ones living the cold outer reaches of the North Pole, not the real North Pole.. but the figment portion that lives inside of us all.. the one our fathers and mothers told us was where Santa and his reindeers lived. But when have you ever seen a reindeer fly, that, or any animal with antlers? I am not sure, but I cant say I have.. but I cant say I’ve seen God.. either.. but some say he lives, in a cloud some where.. up there, but according to Godzilla movies, so did he.. so maybe God is Godzilla… or is it a coincidence that is rather ironic and uncanny?

::Ash takes a deep breath, cocks his jaw and begins to talk, with a smug look on his face::

..why is it in wrestling, ones must always talk and complain about other combatants, and never the one they’re truly going to face? Well it appears it’s the trend everyone is following, just like I mentioned before.. trends.. and conformity are the rage, even in the lowest ranks of professional wrestling… it’s a shame, but nothing unexpected or overlooked. But I suppose it’s okay.. when you’re a relative, or a figment of my imagination from an island that doesn’t exist.. and is home to giant green monsters with monster truck mullets.. you could land a Boeing jet upon. But the relative, is no excuse neither is a lock of hair popular to rednecks..or people from Ohio.

::chuckles::

As a child, I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to play with action figures.. especially because they did not seem manly enough.. .they were too closely linked to dolls, but apparently.. Lawler… the white bearded eight-foot tall bunny suit-wearing catastrophe of epic pan crate proportions never got over the phase of playing with dolls and combing their hair between his legs as he sat in a pink dress on his rusted out swing set his parents found in a backyard next to a swamp, labeled toxic. But I guess some don’t learn to read, and tetanis is rampant.

But then again what do I know? My limbs fly off when someone pins me or does any type of maneuver to me, or so my action figure that the mythical Santa created.. or elves, or Smurfs, or whatever creatures he has working for him now. I am sort of a paraplegic now.. or I have leprosy, which do you prefer? I can be the human torpedo, or the human Mr. Potato-Head? But I guess I just leave in a dream world, a world of lucid thoughts.. and such such such such enigmatic asphyxiations to the president, and yada yada yada… dreams.

The more I think about it, life is very dreamy…but,

…some say, this is all a dream. Some also say, life is but a short story.. with tragic endings.

(fade)

 

[rockw1]

(Fade: to Brian Lawler standing in front of a television monitor. On the monitor, we see in the shadows, Nikolai Ash. Lawler stops the replay by pushing the remote pause button freezing the picture on Ash’s face.)

Dude! You need to seriously put the pipe down…or stop cutting your stash with Quickcrete! You’re about to spin off into that oblivion you just spouted about!

(Lawler points a thumb over his shoulder at the monitor..)

I get the library setting. It..along with all the big words and mystery phrasing are there to intimidate. You want to use that crap to play head games! To take your opponent off his game as he sits and tries to figure out what the heck you’re talking about! But friend, its quite obvious to me that with all your “HIGH”er intelligence…the last book you read featured “The Cat in The Hat!” The real deal is simpler than “Green Eggs and Ham!”

(Lawler pushes another button on the remote he holds and the screen behind him goes black.)

Look Nickie! The simple fact is this… you are the first rung on the ladder that I’m climbing to the top of GLCW. The head game/word game won’t work on me! I know the most important yet fearful step…when you start that climb is the first. Most, when the time comes, hesitate, to lift that foot off the ground and step up to the rung. They don’t know how sturdy the ladder is. How much weight the rung may hold……will the ladder support them…or drop them in a heap..in the middle of the ring. But Nick! I know what it’s gonna take ! What it’s gonna mean to climb in the ring with ya! I know too, that I can meet that challenge! This ladder is just waiting for Brian Lawler to scramble up it and reach the top! I DON”T UNDERESITMATE YOU!……but follow this real close…..YOU ARE GOING DOWN ASH! Make no mistake! And whether it means ash to dust or dust to dust…I’m climbing out of that squared circle as the WINNER! And then the real climb begins…BRING all ya got and I’ll show you Godzilla one minute and God the next! The talk is over..Nickie…that dreamy world you seem so hard for is Great Lakes Championship Wrestling! So let’s get it on darkman!

(the camera fades……)

 

[ChrisCornell]

(fade in: our familiar library of Nikolai Ash, the light begins to seep through a curtain in the far corner. Ash doesn’t seem affected by the light, his eyes are cracked open and he seems less than ready, but the aura in the ring would say differently, even after first glance. Ash’s head comes to face perpendicular with the camera.)

..pipe? what is the figment pipe you dwell on? Is it the stovepipe that comes from your old-fashion cooking device? Or is it the cob kind, that a certain snow man that would have been perfect in your last interview, usually clamps his snowy recesses around? You tell me, chap..

I am not really sure, the stash you mean. If you mean a stash of illegal drugs, or paraphernalia, then you have come to the wrong man.. the only way I take my trips, are in a car… or on a lonely Sunday inside my home, locked away from the burdens of the surrounding world. Maybe you attack your demons in a less secluded type of way, but that’s up to interpretation, and personal preference… and I am not sure, what your preference is to anything.. you may have one to Sean Edmunds, Michael Manson, and other such combatants of the squared-circle.. who knows, do you know? I don’t know, maybe someone else does.. possibly your elves, can help you.. and clear up this debate we have between us?

::Ash begins to chuckle, but it appears more as if he is hyperventilating::

Lawler, there is nothing to “get” as you put it. Everything is in plain sight, and able to be comprehended. I don’t use my settings to instill fear in anyone, or use quote-unquote “big words and mystery phrasing” to warp your miniscule and already fragile mind.. I do it, for it… is the way I am, the way I am born to be.. the path I am supposed to follow in this universe, if there was another path.. then a tangent universe would open up and through a worm hole I would follow, but I am not Stephen Hawking.. nor do I roll around..

:grabbing his hair::

..claming to be, do you? But you can still make claims, as ludicrous and absent-minded as they may be.. they’re claims, what a lark. You must first make claims you can back up… think before one speaks my kind sir.. or madam.

Head games, aren’t for me. I am not the mad hatter, and this isn’t Alice and her wonderland… maybe you are the one with the distorted perception to life and want to believe it is.. but there are no tea cups and there are no joyful sing-a-longs.. and queens and dancing cards. But hey.. if the mind games are working, I am glad… for even if they are not intentional they seem to have an effect on you.. and trouble you nightly.. or at least since you first laid eyes upon my interview.. and heard my raspy voice come through the waves of the television monitor and into my auditory canal. You can sit and ponder my thoughts, or you can sit and let me reveal them to you.. without even lifting a finger.. it is your choice… may it always be yours.

.:ausing::

I wonder, is it my fault, that I am some how perceived as a mental patient, a drug user, a psychopath, an invalid? Or is it your lack of ingenuity, that brings you to that? Hmmm… I’ll ask myself later. For right now.. I am getting climbed all over, to the roof of the GLCW.. by one Lawler… right, am I right, yes.. you’re right, don’t worry. Wait, if I’m right, he’s right, and I’m wrong, aren’t I? No. Okay.

So climb all over me, if you must Lawler.. but it doesn’t make a difference to me.. I’ve proved myself here, in only a short matter of time… even a winner over me, will prove nothing.. but the fact you were able to get a win… that was meaningless.. beating me, is like beating a child with cancer…. It’s easier than stealing candy from a baby with no hands. Do you catch my drift, or am I going out to sea with the turning of the equinox? So Lawler, if you know what it takes, and have what it takes.. why are you here.. challenging me, why are you not.. already at the top.. amongst all the elite… the Manson’s, Maelstrom’s, Jobber’s, Golem’s? Are you afraid, or not yet able to admit… you are unable to compete? Hmmm.. good one, I know.. thank you. Not you. It could never b..

:ause::

..ee, right? You’re too good for that, you’re a legend in your own right.. in your own mind, and time-space, so quite possibly.. I am at fault with my accusations.. you tell me come our formidable fight, where a new legacy might be born… and ripped from the womb of thine own desired path. For… the darkman, is no longer a movie… Liam Neeson… and bandages, and long trenchcoats do nothing for me anymore.. nor will they help you mask yourself any longer… was that slow.. and comprehensive, or do you need me to take it step by step again… once more, for the one and only..

…remember my friend, Nikolai … is a name, you shall not forgot… you may forget his face, but you’ll never forget his prophecy.

(fade)