Thru the Eyes of the Statue
“You gotta look through the eyes of a statue.”
Wise and trusted words from the past. My guide, Joe Miller said that to me.
“Focus and flow are the keys to fighting a good fight, Alex. Your mind has to become like a statue. You might not win, but no one can beat a statue.”
The past few days have been hell. I’ve been keeping old Joe a little closer to my heart. What he said about the statue held more meaning, more significance then any other thing ever spoken to me. ‘You might not win, but no one can beat a statue’. And I had to become a statue to endure. Joe taught me how to become one. I remember him for strength, my heart remembers him for comfort.
Two days have past since the sh*t hit the fan at Michael Bigelow’s little club house. Though my body reminds me every time I move of the events that transpired, it feels so
distant now. Through the pain and the rage, my dreamlike recollection of Bigelow and his malice is like sand in my mind, sliding through the grasping fingers of my awareness.
All that I can think about is Tom Neiden’s face, and the sight of his wife of three years cradling his devastated body in her arms with sobs ripping from her throat. Nothing, nothing will ever erase what I have done. Nothing will ever make right what I caused to happen. I lied to him, for almost a year I’ve deceived him about where I came from and what I’ve done with my life. When we first met, it was just a happy coincidence that two struggling wrestlers bumped into each other at a run-down YMCA, one a seasoned veteran, the other a young, arrogent rookie with the world on his shoulders. It was a chance to establish a connection in the business and nothing more. The truth about my past was no one’s business but my own, and anyone who asked could be fed a happy, harmless little lie. I never expected him to grow to become a person I gave a damn about. Hah! My chum. My buddy. My friend, who was gunned down by
my enemy threw a two hundred pound bench bar at me in fury only moments earlier. I’ve lived my whole life
without regrets. Now, my sins suffocate me.
_____________________________________
Rivermound Memorial Hospital
8745 North Cliffton St.
Parma, Ohio
10:00 AM
The sky was a consistent shade of mud gray that morning and it was still drizzling as Alex Borden pulled into the crowded western lot of Rivermound and circled it twice before finding a spot to park his ‘89 Volvo.
He heard from the receptionist in the ER that Tom Neiden was alive but in critical condition and not yet conscious. Alex wasn’t able to contact Tom’s wife Marie yet but he suspected that he might see her at his bedside.
He stepped out of his car and locked it. He dug his hands in his jacket pockets and began the long journey from his parking spot to the hospital entrance. It was cold that day and he could feel the chill through his jacket and down his spine. Everywhere there were people with umbrellas and hats bustling about, trying to escape the soft rain and trying to be in time to conduct their business and run their all important errands.
Alex walked through the automatic double doors and waisted no time finding the information desk.
“I’m here to see Tom Neiden.” he said.
An older woman with red catlike glasses looked up from an issue of Modern Female. “I’m sorry visiting hours haven’t started yet. You can come back at one o’clock.”
He had no time to waste. Alex wasn’t sure if Marie told the cops about him or not so, taking advantage of his finely honed ability to duck the police, he said “Please, he was in an extremely bad car wreck. They don’t think he’ll last much longer. It’s very important that I see him right away.”
“Are you family?” she asked.
Alex hesitated, then said “Yes. I’m his cousin.”
“Oh?” She narrowed her eyes.
“Yeah. So please can I see him now?”
She put the magazine down and started tapping away on her keyboard. She watched the monitor for an aggravating two minutes and said. “Room 410B. Fourth floor.”
Wordlessly, he strode past the information desk and took the stairs.
Alex entered Tom’s room languidly with his hands folded in front of him and saw his friend in a state of complete lifelessness. There were already flowers and brightly colored balloons decorating the room where he lay, proof that he had many that cared about him. His head and body were wrapped tight in fresh bandages and there were wires and tubes inserted into his body from a dozen points. His eyelids were swollen and purple. He looked like hell.
Thank God you’re alive. Alex thought.
Jesus, look at you. I did this to you. I’m so sorry.
“I finally did it, partner. I’m offically booked for a match next week on Raucous. It’s a major gig, Tom. Its national. I’m gunna win this one for you, man. I’m gunna win it for you.”
Alex stood there watching over Tom for about fifteen minutes when a familiar voice came from behind him. “You!”
“Marie?” Alex turned around and his heart sank when he saw the look in her eyes.
“What the
hell do you think you’re doing here?!” Marie demanded.
“I wanted to see him.”
“You wanted to see him?!” she spat. “I know you had something to do with this. I know you’re involved in what happened somehow!”
Alex looked away. “You don’t understand. I- I can’t explain everything right now but you have to know that I never meant for any of this to happen!
“Why?” she asked. “Why did you do it?”
“What?!” Alex looked back at Marie with an injured look in his eyes. “How can you say that to me? I told you, I didn’t mean for anything like this to happen! Marie, you know me! We’re friends, remember?”
“Are we?!” she shouted. “Then you tell me what happened to Tom! You tell me why he was shot by these people! Tell me why my husband’s lying here... in this bed” her voice broke and her eyes welled up. “If you’re my friend, then you’ll tell me why this happened to us!”
“Look... I can’t right now. I don’t know if its safe to talk. Marie I can’t explain everything right now but I promise you, soon I will. I swear it.”
“What?” she sounded astonished. “You... you have the nerve- the
audacity to show your face in this hospital room and you won’t even tell me why my husbands in a coma?”
A coma? Alex thought in surprize.
“Marie... I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“BULLSH*T!!” she exploded. “Get out! Get the hell out of here now!” she pointed rigidly at the door.
“Marie-”
“GO!!! I don’t want to hear it! I hate you!!! Just f*cking leave!” she screamed.
“Fine.” Alex said simply and he walked past her and down the ward.
His heart was broken and it was all he could do to keep from breaking down as Alex went back out into the cold outside world.
He clenched his fists and thought...
You gotta look through the eyes of a statue.