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Booking Info (Escape)... Wait... Wrong Forum


League Member
Jan 1, 2000
Mayflower, Arkansas
**Fade in...

Jessie and Lance sit next adjacent to one another facing a silver stereo away from the camera. Lance has his black tank top with torn blue jeans. Jessie, on the other hand, has on a black SpongeBob Squarepants T-shirt with Khakis. They're listening to a tape of their band Escape. As the tape plays the song "Today", Jessie and Lance nod at one another approvingly. They continue to listen and headbang until Lance notices something.**

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] Oh...uhh...dude....look.

**They turn their heads towards the camera. Lance smiles a cheesy grin as Jessie waves.**

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] How did you guys get in here?

[font color=blue]Jessie:[/font] They probably broke in.

**They laugh.**

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] Yeah. Busted the door down.

[font color=blue]Jessie:[/font] Then shot the maid.

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] Then screwed her!

[font color=blue]Jessie:[/font] Then... I bet they just knocked on the door, dude, then opened it....

Naah... They shot the place up!

**Both of them fall out laughing.**

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] No way, dude. I bet they... umm... nevermind. I bet you guys are here for an interview, eh?

**Camera nods.**

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] Ohhhh yeah! ... I forgot to tell you, dude. We got a match at On Time.

[font color=blue]Jessie:[/font] Oh... you want me to be in your corner?

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] No, dude. You're my parnter.

[font color=blue]Jessie:[/font] DUUUUUDE! What's up with that? Why didn't you tell me. Duuuude, we're gonna kick their

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] Ask me! That's all you had to do. You know I forget!

[font color=blue]Jessie:[/font] True. We still can't let you around power tools.

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] What can I say? A.D.D., man.

But seeing how this is your debut match and all... I guess I'll let you say something.

[font color=blue]Jessie:[/font] OK...

**Loooong pause.**

**Lance clears his throat.**

**Longer pause.**

[font color=blue]Jessie:[/font] (Whispering) Dude, what am I supposed to say?

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] Dude, I dunno... wait... I knew you wouldn't know how to cut a good promo yet, so I made some note cards for you to read. You know, just to help you out on your first time. So, just look into the camera and read from the prompter below.

[font color=blue]Jessie:[/font] OK.

(In monotone voice) S.. Si... Simply.... St....Stun... Simply Stunning.. y... you j... just wait un...until... On... T....T...T....

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] (Whispering) Time.

[font color=blue]Jessie:[/font] (Monotone again) Time. Lance.

**Jessie leans over to Lance.**

[font color=blue]Jessie:[/font] (Whispering) I can read your name! (Smiles)

Lance... a.. and I... are...

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] (Impatiently) Are going to beat you up! End... (Lance smiles at Jessie) Sorry... I forgot.

[font color=blue]Jessie:[/font] It's ok, dude. I'm getting better. I'm up to TWO words per minute!

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] Awesome, dude. Hooked on phonics REALLY does work.

**"SHAMELESS PLUG" flashes across the bottom of the screen.**

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] Hope that gets us some money.

**Lance nudges Jessie and laughs.**

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] Nonetheless, Simply Stunning. Sorry, guys. I can't say I've heard too much about ya'. Something about long-term Tag Champs or something. Not like that's a big deal or anything! Although, I do see from your promo that you don't seem to be taking this match too seriously. I saw you trying to court young Jane.

[font color=blue]Jessie:[/font] Duuuude, she's hot too!

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] Well, in case you aren't taking this match too seriously then I'd like you to do something. I want you to leave your big penthouses. Go down the street. Find the Super 8 Motel. You know, the one on 7th street. Go in. Find the dirtiest, rathole of a room. In there you will find Nathan Cross. Ya' know, the jobber. When you find him, I want you to ask him about Lance Liezure. This is when he will proceed to bow. Tell him to get back off of his knees. Then ask him what it's like to be in the ring with Lance Liezure. This will be when he jumps out of the window and he will land in a pile of thorn bushes. This will give you just an idea. Then what you do is: you think about all of that. Then you look over my shoulder at this gargantuan in my corner. He's tough, he's strong, and, trust me, he'll kick your ass from pillar to post. I mean... just take a look at him.

**Camera pans over to Jessie, unaware, who is picking his nose with the single, long pinky nail. Lance taps Jessie. Jessie looks up to see the camera pointed directly at him. With his finger still in his nose, he asks.**

[font color=blue]Jessie:[/font] Is that still on?

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] Yes.

**Jessie wipes his green treasure onto his khakis and makes a "scary" face into the camera.**

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] Yeah... that is what you have to look forward to at On Time. He'll... uhh... Pick you clean!

[font color=blue]Jessie:[/font] Yeah, dudes, and bring the chick too!. She's hot.

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] Yeah, dude. Then Cassie could beat her up or something, right?

[font color=blue]Jessie:[/font] No way, dude. I wanna

[font color=green]Lance:[/font] Forget her, dude! Cassie won't even be there.

Anyways, the tape is done recording. So therefor, I believe this interview is over. We've got more music to play. Cause, you know, that's the way WE prepare.

**Lance stands up and walks over to his drums. Jessie grabs his bass from it's stand. Lance picks up his drumsticks and looks directly at the camera as we...




(We are live in a house show when the Viewtron screen goes to static, and then cuts from static to Lance Liezure cutting an earlier promo...)

LANCE: ...Find the dirtiest, rathole of a room. In there you will find Nathan Cross. Ya' know, the jobber. When you find him, I want you to ask him about Lance Liezure. This is when he will proceed to bow. Tell him to get back off of his knees. Then ask him what it's like to be in the ring with Lance Liezure. This will be when he jumps out of the window and he will land in a pile of thorn bushes.

(Static on the Viewtron before we hear somebody yell, "ARE YOU READY TO CROSS OVER?!!!" Suddenly, "Learn to Crawl" by Black Lab begins to play over the loudspeaker. The CROSSOVERS begin to cheer, even if they're small in number, they're is obviously a few more present than who started out the night. Out walks Nathan Cross, who already wrestled on this night earning those newer fans. He's freshly showered, dressed in sweats, and ready to share his thoughts, mic in hand.)

NATHAN: How many of you watched Showtime last week? (Cheers from the crowd) And out of those, how many bothered to watch the Aelias Fierte vs. Micheal Gettis matchup (another cheer). Yeah, I wouldn't have watched it either if I knew it would've been that bad. Anyway, in case you missed what happened AFTER the worst match of the year candidate, I threw some comments to Lance Liezure...

(Static on the Viewtron shows Showtime. Nathan is cutting a promo at the top of the ramp.)

NC: ...And for all the chatting, I only got one thing to say to Lance Liezure, (Dramatic pause) thank you. (Fair applause from the crowd) You gave the CROSSOVERS what they wanted to see, an entertaining match. You got the pin, Lance, but WE got the victory.

(The Viewtron cuts back off and Nathan continues.)

NATHAN: Lance, you rich boy who put some tough matches to use, you did well in our match. Considering you went against Eli Flair & Kevin Powers, I expected it. They taught you well. But what did you prove? Hmmm... what did you say? Oh, you proved in your match that you could beat a ... what was that? OH JOBBER! Hmmm... so what COULD have been a victory that would've been remembered for its SKILL is left at ... what? NOTHING! You took an entertaining match and made it into a waste of people's time. YOUR match!

(The CROSSOVERS boo hysterically)

NATHAN: And MY people won't stand for that. We had a quality match. Ask anyone who watched it, and from what I hear, that number is increasing. I gave you EVERYTHING that ANYONE could've done and THEN some. You need to watch yourself, 'dude', cause if you consider that an 18 year old punk in his SECOND match took you for a RIDE that required EVERYTHING you had on that night, then I'd dare say that you are not NEARLY as accomplished as you'd have the world believe. You were lucky to be facing a YOUNG Nathan Cross, and I'll see you in a year, 'dude'. You'll know where to find me. I'll be the one selling all the t-shirts, making all the cash, and likely raking in a title or two.

(Nathan stops to look down.)

NATHAN: And you, you'll be the guy trying to get the crowd to do that "cool dude" hand jive thing that everyone loves (sarcasm evident in his voice).

("Learn to Crawl" blares as Nathan Cross steps back through the curtain, his fans cheering. The Viewtron goes to static, and the cuts back to an older Lance Liezure promo...)

LANCE: I like that... vanquish. And you're right... at ON TIME... (In a Greek accent) This Lance will VANQUISH you!!

**Lance raises his arm back as if he were swinging a sword then "slashes" it forward a couple of times, all the while smiling

(The screen cuts to black with a NATHAN CROSS logo left on the screen.)

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