My cream puffs are simply to die for.
This merry bunch is fronted by...
'The PHENOM' Shawn Hart
A.K.A.: Dr. Sean J. Hartt, Manly Spice, El Hombre Magnifico, El Fenomeno, Shawn Fenomeno, Mr. XXX, PHAT Papa Shawn, the Prime Minister of Jiggy, Lovely Deter, Buckwheat, Bootylicious, and countless other aliases.
Weight: 213 lbs. after Atkins
From: Orlando, Florida
Theme: 'Watching the Wheels' by John Lennon
The Skinny: Shawn is still the same Phenom we know and love, however after discovering a brave new world of... er... mind expanding activities, he's now become spiritually enlightened, politically active, socially aware, slightly paranoid, and twice the lech he ever was in the past. His soul purpose for existence is to spread his word of love and jiggy freshness and touch the hearts, souls, and/or backsides of all he encounters while boldly coursing through the vicious jungles of a new frontier in civilization.
Wrestling Style: Technician
Moves:High Impact/Implant DDT
80's Style Hiptoss
Inverted Atomic Drop
Catapult to Ringpost/Turnbuckle
Discus Punches and Clothelines
Figure Four Leglock
Various Low Blows, Eye Jabs, Cheap Shots, etc.
Finishers: Hart Attack (Diamond Cutter) and El Codo Explosivo (Dusty Rhodes' Bionic Elbow)
Title History: WFW World Champion, BAD World Champion, eWu World Champion, CWWF World Champion, CWWF U.S. Champion, WWL Television Champion, IWF Entertainment Champion, IWF Eastern Champion, IWF Tag Team Champion, xWf U.S. Champion
Who is accompanied by his loyal accountant...
Weight: 231 lbs.
Theme: 'We Like to Party' by the Vengaboys
The Skinny: Shrouded by a silver mask marked with the Roman numeral 'II', El Segundo is a semi-insane luchador who prides himself upon and is OBSESSED with being second best. Not much is known about who he is or where he came from, though it's been rumored he once made a living as a carnival ride operator somewhere in the Southwestern U.S. Known for his Shatner-esque manner of speech. Currently employed by Mr. Shawn Hart as both his accountant and chief advisor.
Wrestling Style: Classic Rudo Brawling
Inverted Atomic Drop
Double Arm DDT
Hanging Vertical Suplex
Quebradora con Giro (Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker)
Plancha (Splash/Cross Body Block)
Fául (The INFAMOUS Low Blow!)
Finisher: Bofetada Plateada (His rendition of the Hart Attack/Diamond Cutter)
And shares a... uhh... special relationship with his sister...
A.K.A.: The Queen of Reality TV, Hootie McLoosecaboose
Weight: 122 lbs.
From: Roswell, New Mexico
Theme: 'Look At Me' by Geri Haliwell
The Skinny: A former chearleader at the Orlando Hillsborough Community College, Felicia is an aspiring actress, artist, singer, athlete, and interior decorator. She is downright demonic to people she feels don't meet her standards, while bending over backwards for people she considers to be on the 'A-list'. Inexplicably plagued by a bizarre sexual tension that often arises between her and her half-brother, Shawn. Always in tune with the latest trends, fads, and pop culture. Enjoys long walks on the beach, piña coladas, and gettin' DOWN in the rain!
Wrestling Style: None to speak of. She mostly just slaps, smacks, pulls hair and runs away.
Moves: See above. Add biting, scratching and clawing to the list when opponents are female.
Finisher: Low Blow. Change to gratuitous make-out session when opponents are female... or her brother.
While dispersing his words of wisdom through...
The Infamous Match Game Microphone (Pictured Above.)
The Skinny: The Phenom feels the only way his speeches can ever truly be heard is when spoken through one of his many authentic ECM-51 microphones, used on the hit game show Match Game by his idol, host Gene Rayburn. Varying in length from 10 to 18 inches, the Rayburn microphone is very similar to the one used by Bob Barker on the Price Is Right.
Featuring Special Guest Stars:
Tiny - Mullet-wearing Mississippi Cliffdweller, World's Strongest Fat Guy
The Spice Girls
A Crazy Romanian Clown on Stilts
...and many, MANY MORE!!!