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Benjamin

SigilOfLeviBF

Terrance's #2 Fan
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
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[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-05-02 AT 00:35 AM (EDT)](FADEIN: The conference room of USA studios. At one larg table sits Benjamin, Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris' sidekick from Walker, Texas Ranger, President of USA Norm, and VP of USA Todd. Benjamin's wearing the mask of El Puto, and a pink sombrero with tons of little flares all over it.)

NORM: Listen...Mr. Hernandez...

BENJAMIN: Hey, that's Senor Puto to you!

NORM: Right...Senor Puto. We feel that the time just isn't right to launch your new action series.

CHUCK: Time isn't right, my ass! This lowlife is guilty of copyright infringement!

NORM: Alright, Chuck, settle down...

CHUCK: No! I mean, c'mon Norm..." El Puta, Texas Ranger "?

VP TODD: Well, technically, Chuck, he's not breaking any laws. Afterall, he's not calling it " Walker, Texas Ranger ".

CHUCK: He uses our theme song! The same exact song! I sang that song, goddamn it, and he doesn't even dub out my singing! I will not sing this idiot's theme song!

BENJAMIN: Hey! Silence, amigo! Do you know who I am? I'm El (bleeping) Puto! I use whatever theme song I like!

CHUCK: You can't do that! You can't just go around stealing whatever you want from other people!

BENJAMIN: EL PUTA TAKES WHAT HE WANTS!

VP TODD: Listen, everyone...let's just take a minute to cool off, and discuss this like gentlemen, ok?

CHUCK: What's there to discuss? Even with my theme song, and even if he does borrow the name of my show, why would you even consider airing it? Every show's the same...El Puta runs up some gambling debts, doesn't pay them off, the Chinese mafia, which, for some reason is always being led by either Master P or George " The Animal " Steel, is on his tail, and he defeats them in the end by enlisting the help of Hulk Hogan! It's crap!

BENJAMIN: It's art!

CHUCK: It's crap, and it's an insult to me that you wanna give him my time slot!

CHUCK'S SIDEKICK FROM THE SHOW: My show, insult to me, my time slot...what about the rest of us?! It's not your show, it's OURS!

CHUCK: Shutup, sidekick!

SIDEKICK: Oh, so that's how it is? First you make me legally change my name to Sidekick, and now you tell me to shutup? I guess the black man ain't good enough to star in Chuck Norris' show! I'm just your kickboxing sidekick!

CHUCK: Damn it, sidekick, SHUTUP!

SIDEKICK: Yes, Mr. Norris! Yes, Mr. Norris! What, you want me to jump when you say jump? (Bleep) you AND your show! I'm with El Puto!

BENJAMIN: Arriva la raza!

NORM: Well then, it's settled! Change your theme music, and " El Puto, Texas Ranger " will start airing this fall!

BENJAMIN: Nice! Anyone got the theme to " The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly " laying around?

CHUCK: No, damn it, do you know what this could mean if you let this show air!

VP TODD: A television revolution!

SIDEKICK: More money, and I get my name back!

BENJAMIN: The dead, rising from the grave!

CHUCK: Cats and dogs, living together...mass hysteria!

BENJAMIN: How about this, Chuck. You get a timeslot, I get a timeslot, and this fall..we'll see who the real capueda is, maestro!

(FTB)

OORP: Bona na-wayyyyyyy, Bona na-wayyyyyyyy nany-nah! Sorry...anyone ever see that movie? Yeah, this RP has nothing to do with wrestling, but hey...I'm back.
 

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