I aM tiRed of loSing, PHIL!!!!!!!!!
isn't this just a DOOZY
[Raucous is in full ring attire as always! He stands in a completely white room, it's very bright, think Matrix when Morpheus is explaining the Matrix to Neo...yeah that white. Raucous is pacing back and forth in this white space his finger shaking up and down, his other hand rubbing his masked chin
“I get to wrestle two times in the IGC, now those weren't the best performances. Like they always say test the waters before jumpin' fully in! I did do some damage out there though and because of that...”
[Pause, turn to camera and point in full excitement
“I get to face the ex-champ himself Phil Atkins!!....
ooooooohhhhh PPPPPHHHHHHIIIIILLLLLYYYYY BOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYY
I'm just so flipping excited I can feel in in...my...toes. I mean it's you! I get to wrestle you! I have so many napkins for you to sign for me!......of course I wouldn't sell them on ebay.
But…...oh how the mighty have fallen! Now you're like me! Another commoner. Which is good, you know sometimes ya need a'little contact with reality again.....WELCOME HOME
[Raucous uses one hand and begins pointing upwards
“The guys love me Philly-Poo! Heck, I lost two matches in a row and they go on and throw me to you. Pfft! What's that tell you right there my man!?
That I am about to wrestle the ex-champion because they think I am an easy win for you to get back on top.
[The camera turns to an over head shot of Raucous, we are looking down at him and him up at us
“Commmeeeee ooooooonn!!! Do I look that dumb to you guys UP
there? I mean really?! Like that's going to work?
[Front shot of Raucous his head coming down to look back at the camera
“Philly-sweet-tart, you did somthin' most guys wouldn't, you came back to play ball with us. Even though you're probably really mad that you lost your title and cried in a drunken slumber for days....DAYS
Hired a few hookers, maybe caught a coochie critta or two. WHO KNOWS
Oh gawd the amount of self realization you musta went through....”
[He starts to fake cry
“OH WHY DID I HAVE TO LOSE MY TITLE
?! I WAS SUCH A BAD GUY
!!!! I CAN CHANGE
[Raucous suddenly stops and throws his hands forward at the camera, his voice changing to a deep southern
“Come to da LAWWWRDDD
[Voice comes back to normal
“But then you got guys...like...me......who wanna take your ball and POP IT
right in front of your eyes. A little thanks for playin' memento.
So...I guess....what I am sayin' here is.
A guy like me....has nothin' to lose when wrestlin' a dude like you.
You're the former champ Philly-honeypie, and because of that people EXPECT
you to win. I am just the guy who lost two weeks in a row.”
[He puts his hand up like stop
WAIT A MINUTE
What if, and it's been known to happen, out of left field comes me....WHOOPING YOUR ASS
!!!!! Pillar ta post, canvass ta apron, up down, left, right, sideways if I have to! Because I am sick of losin' PHIL
Two weeks in a row I have lost and I think it's time for a big ol' double-ya.
And imma kick your ass like its nineteen nighty four!”
[He grabs the camera and pulls it close to his mask
“THAT MEANS VIOLENCE
Sorry, I ain't a bad guy Phil, sure I hate you cause you are a scummy poop head but I'm sorry I gotta make your losses that much greater.
That just doesn't make me sad Philly-pumpkin...”