B To Tha Z

[Mad Dog]

(FADEIN to a rooftop somewhere in NYC. Boogie Smallz is seated on a stack of wooden crates, puffing a blunt. Smallz is wearing black and white camouflage outfit, with his hair in cornrolls. He’s got the platinum and ice Hip Hop Express logo on a chain around his neck and the GWE Unified World title laying across his lap. He puffs his blunt and looks into the camera.)

BOOGIE SMALLZ: Erryone has been comin’ up to me, axskin’ me what I gotta say about all this ish that some punk ex-heroine junkie has been sayin’ about me. And for those not in tha know…I’m talkin’ about Troy Windam.

See, Windam has been used to havin’ ish handed to him on a silver platter his entire life. He’s never had to work for anythang. Errywhere he’s gone that Windam name has carried some weight and opened doors for him, he otherwise would’ve had slammed in his face.

Herre in GWE, you don’t get a free ride because your related to somebody. Herre you gotta actually EARN your shot. This isn’t some good ol’ boy network like CSWA, where a guy can come in off of tha streets and get thrown into the forefront just off of reputation alone. Look at me. I fought my way to tha top and as far as I’m concerned, ain’t NOBODY gonna earn a shot just off their past success.

You run your mouth about how you started wrestling, how you are the reason FW Torch and FWI Magazine are even in existence. But it seems funny to me that you claim all this, but tha fact of tha matter is…your career is in a bit of a slump. You aren’t mentioned in any of those publications and from what I can tell, it seems to me that someone is a lil’ jealous. Hatin’ all on me, tryin’ to joke on me, makin’ comments about thangs that don’t really kcufin’ matter!

Truth is, you’ve actually got to wrestle and win matches to make sumthin’ happen to get anywhere in this business. Me? I’ve hustled my ass off. I’ve fought erryone and anyone that I had to, to get where I am today. You wanna knock me? Knock this company? Talk about how great and wonderful you are in tha CSWA. Whoopdee doo. Don’t nobody know you herre. None of this ish you are talkin’ is carryin’ any weight. You attack Marcus Johnson, an ex-champ, and people are suppose to shake in their boots? We’re suppose to cower in fear from a man that wore, of all thangs, A DRESS!? (Cracks a smile and shakes his head.) Come on now, you talk about me bein’ taken seriously as tha top dawg in tha game, but how can any of us…with tha exception of that Gimpy guy on Xtreme Enough, take YOU seriously?

You wanna attack a man…attack him head on. Don’t dip into your mama’s closet and do some gay ish. Just come real, confront tha man head on…face to face. You ain’t a man…you’s a B!+CH!

(Boogie mean mugs the camera and puffs his blunt.)

Now I gotta admit, you sure as hell have been doin’ a helluva job tryin’ to lure me in, but Windam…I know your game and I’m not about to let you suck me into it. You wanna call me out and take shots at me bein’ tha champ? Why? Because in tha CSWA I’ve been in a tag team? If you only knew tha real story, dawg. But since you don’t, let me peep you to some ish.

A couple of years ago, I tried to holla’ at Merritt about givin’ me a chance to go solo. I told him that he had his hands on the biggest star this business has EVER SEEN. I guess he didn’t believe me. (Shakes his head.) You know what Merritt told me? Good ol’ Uncle Chad gave me a huge pep talk about how they needed me to stick around, that HHE was their only hope on havin’ a successful tag division. He told me to wait, promised me all these plans about how we were gonna do this angle, and then turn around and do this. Work a program with so and so. But all that ish never happened. Had it happened, had I had the opportunity to do my thang and breakout there…well, lets just say tha CSWA wouldn’t be on the brink of bankruptcy like it is now.

But we all know better than that. Tha Good Ol’ Boys would never let “my kind”, as you say, be successful therre.

(Puffs his blunt.)

Ya know, I always knew in tha back of my mind that somebody from tha CSWA would try to toss salt on my game when I made a name for myself outside of therre. So when I see you tryin’ to do it, I expected it from tha moment I won tha strap.

If that’s not tha reason, then what are you doin’ herre? You call this a two-bit promotion…then why are you herre? You trash tha talent herre and say we ain’t ish. Then why are you herre? Seems to me it would be a waste of time for a “superstar” like you to be down with tha scum of wrestlin’. No pilots to shoot? No auditions? Prolly cuz your career is in tha toilet. I guess tha only thang left to do is for me to sh*t on it and flush it on down.

You ain’t nobody to me Windam. You wanna turn heads? You wanna make waves? Do it in tha ring. Actually win some damn matches and than holla’ at a playa. Because until then, I just don’t got time to mess witcha .

Ya heard.

(FADE TO BLACK)

 

[GreggG]

Boogie Woogie Man

(CUT TO: Troy Windham, in the back of his stretch HumVee.)

TROY: Boogie, my first question for you is simple. What kind of black guy are you? Are you the gangsta'd out thug with the outdated 1997 Cross Colours look? Or are you the Uncle Tom kind-- the kind of black guy who will do ANYTHING to appease his master?

I'm thinking a little of column A and a little of column B, Boogie Woogie Man, which means this... you're just some jive-talking, blunt-smoking wannabe who doesn't have the sense in your thick, illiterate skull to understand that you're nothing to the GWE but the latest Mister Bojangles, a caricature who they want to step'n'fetch and putawnsum white shoes and git' dancin'!

Boogie, if there's one thing Troy Windham knows... It's Black Folks! After all, I played the cool, older white neighbor on the UPN's Sister, Sister for two seasons. And the new show I'm taping now, funded by my good, personal friend Tom Cruise... South Beach Sun Cops... well, I can guarantee you this, the sista I bang on the show will give me more street cred than all the breakdancing you bust out, playa.

You can try and no-sell me all you want, that's cool. But the world saw, Boogie Woogie Man... you were just like all the rest of the GWE's collection of minor leaguers. You saw me hop the railing, you saw me paralyze Marcus Johnson and you saw me attack YOUR fans... and you did nothing.

I don't care if you don't care. Frankly, I don't even care if I actually ever, you know, wrestle on this promotion. Study the history text written about me, Boog-- I've never cared about wins or losses in my career and yet I dwarf any wrestler on this side of the Fwrestling.com television network. My goal here isn't to beat you, because if I did, I could definitely hook you up with a role in Roots 2: Electric Bugaloo.

My goal is to make EACH and EVERY single wrestler in the GWE... and EACH and EVERY single wrestler in all of these two-bit indie promotions... that they are NOTHING without me and that I am The Epitome of this sport.

Now excuse me, Boogie... I'm off to go rent The Wiz.

Windham OUT. (FTB)

 

[Mad Dog]

Washed-up Windam

(FADEIN to Boogie Smallz in an empty arena, sitting in a skybox, while a crew below assembles the set for the next show. He stands up watching them work and then sits down on a leather sofa. Smallz picks up an already lit blunt and takes a few drags. He flicks the ash on the floor and gives an evil look into the camera.)

BOOGIE SMALLZ: You know times are hard when a guy has to pull a desperate act like playin’ tha race card. And at first, when I heard ya run your mouf, I was pissed. I was seconds away from hoppin’ in my ride and drivin’ around to erry methadone clinic in tha US until I found your ass, gettin’ your weekly fix. Then I was gonna stomp you down and beat you within an inch of your life!

(Puffs his blunt.)

But a few blunts later, I realized that doin’ that would only help further your cause. Your crusade to try and save your washed up career. And I ain’t about to lend a helpin’ hand!

You think what you said is cool with me because “you know black folks”? Man I have had to deal with your kind my whole career. People like you thinkin’ sayin’ ish like that is alright because you kicked it with some brothas that did Shakespeare in the Park? This ain’t tha Pasadena Playhouse maphucka! And I ain’t dancin’ under a disco ball bein’ managed by a damn midget! Times have changed Troy. I ain’t nobody’s fool, you lil’ ignorant b*tch!

(Puffs his blunt.)

You’re played out, Troy. Your life has crumbled around you and you think you’ve found salvation teamin’ up with a crackhead in tha CSWA. Guess GWE wasn’t tha final option after all.

Think what you want. Do what you gotta do, but you better realize real soon that I ain’t tha one. You might be able to get most of these other fools riled up, but I don’t sweat ya. I’ve gone up against tha best this biz has to offer and just because they aren’t wrestling out of Greensboro, doesn’t make them any less competitive. They just realized, like I did, that all the politics therre just ain’t worth tha hassle. You may be “king” therre, but herre you ain’t ish but a damn peasant! Ain’t no one herre king but ME!

I came up from nothin’, from tha gutter, and built myself to tha man I am today. I was herre two years climbin’ my way up tha ladder. Fightin’ erryone that was willin’, because I had to prove that I was tha best. You built this sh*t? You made wrestling what it is? Boy, you ain’t nothin’. You’re all swingin’ from my nutsack and sh*t, tryin’ to latch on to my fame. Stop jockin’ me, dawg. Earn your spot, win some matches, because no matter how much you try to get under my skin, it ain’t gonna work. Your history is useless herre, no need for me to research it. You don’t care about winnin’? Well then it looks like you are a long way away from facin’ me.

If you don’t care if you wrestle in this promotion, then why are you hollerin’ out ish about wanting tha World title? Which is it? Do you want to be herre or not, because I don’t see you winnin’ a World title by just talkin’ sh*t and beatin’ up washed ex-champions. Good luck with what you decide and whenever you get your ish straight, maybe then we’ll get in tha ring, but until then…I don’t see it happenin’.

BELIEVE ‘DAT!

(Puffs his blunt.)

I’m thru with this. Fade me out.

(FADE TO BLACK)