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Astros v Hart


Jan 1, 2000
San Francisco, CA
SJH > D-As

* Shawn Hart RP for C08.


On the lighted stage of a trendy downtown hotspot, former New Era Champion SJH is writhing about like a mental patient, causing the fur coats, gold chains, and sequined headdress that cover his over-oiled, spray-tanned body to shake and sway along with him. Before him is a packed house of rabid fans, all clamoring for his vocal stylings and vivacious moves. At his rear, his own cavalcade of sexy hip-hop dancers provide the sizzle for his steak. And in his hand... a microphone, which he brings to his lips as he begins to DROP SCIENCE!

SJH: "Yo-yo-yo-yo-YO!! Big Shawn Jessi- gettin' wet n' messy on that b(FCC)tch-ass! Ch-ch-check-CHECK IT--Wooooooooord...."

CUE UP: A PHAT beat with DOPE cuts.

SJH: "It's ya Heavyweight CHAMP all up in ya face!
I know I ain't got the strap, but I still rule the place.
With mah hardcore SKILLZ and my fresh-ass MOVES-
Ain't a godd(FCC)mn thing left that I've got to prove!

But I keep on gunnin', cuz they won't let me quit.
Y'all know that ya need me to make y'all legit!
So I be checkin' ya duckets, n' takin' yer matches.
Whoever it is, I be kickin' they asses!

N' goin' to school, n(FCC)gga! Yo class is in session!
I be droppin' fools lower than the global recession!
So who's next, boss? Who'm I takin' to task, bro?
My Empire replacement?! Mr. Donovan Astros?!

The kid who stole my spot in their tag team tourney?
And ended my 4-year E-P-Dubbaya journey?
That sh(FCC)t is absurd, his Nancy ass is played!
That kid is Keith Bogans to my Dwyane Wade!

While I'm rockin' the belts and slammin' vertical smiles...
This JACKHOLE's up in the stables, shovelin' sh(FCC)t piles.
A regular SCAB, do anything for a job!
But while you're stealin' my flow, I be drillin' ya moms!

Cuz I'm down with the cougars, and I'm out for MEAT.
You wanna take my shizz? Revenge between the sheets!
And then in the ring, it'll be domination!
You're the minimum factor up in this equation!

Got a problem with dis? I'll take ya ass APART!
I'm the King killah CAP PEELAH, Big Shawn HART!"

Pelvis thrust.

SJH: "Peace!"

Pose... and FADE.

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