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Aggression 72: New Orleans, Louisiana - 2/27/13

DBrunkGXW

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[CUT TO: backstage, where “The Dragon” is walking through the corridor on his way to the dressing room. He passes by Kenny Lombardo who stops him]

KL: Hey! Karl, just who I was looking for.

Karl: What is it, Kenny? I’m in a hurry.

KL: Tonight you’re taking on Tony Davis and Aaron Jones, you seemed a bit… fans are wondering what you meant?

Karl: Kenny, you’ve known me for years. You know I’ve got a match tonight that I want to concentrate on.

KL: Some people are saying maybe you’re doubting yourself?

Karl: Never. I’ve got everything to try and prove out there, but who knows whether I’ll win tonight or not. Anything’s possible, and I’m not… going to talk about the match any more until after it. OK?

KL: Hey… woah… you OK?

Karl: Kenny…

KL: Okay, okay, one more quick question though – how’s Otaku? We’ve not seen him since you two lost the titles.

Karl: Why don’t you ask him yourself?

KL: I don’t know where he is.

Karl: You don’t? I thought… give me a second.

[“The Dragon” takes his mobile from his pocket, quickly dialling a number]

Karl: Hey. I thought you were going to be here tonight. You are? Good. You ready for this? Don’t worry about it. Just be ready. See you later.

[He hangs up]

KL: Well?

Karl: Like I said, if you’re interested, ask him yourself. See you later, Kenny.

KL: But

Karl: [interrupting] Kenny… he says he’s here, so you’ll see him before the end of the night. Now, let me get ready for my match.

[Without another word, Kenny steps out of the way, letting the former tag champion pass]
 

DBrunkGXW

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INTRO

[MUSIC UP: “Sixteen Saltines” by Jack White.]

[CUTTO: Impulse standing with the Aggression graphic rolling behind him.]

[CUTTO: Malcolm Joseph-Jones snarling at his opponent.]

[CUTTO: The Animezing Dragons walking towards the ring.]

[CUTTO: Cameron Cruise yelling in triumph as he tosses The First into the water outside Pac Bell Park.]

[CUTTO: Rich Mahogany, winking to a girl in the front row.]

[CUTTO: Rezin smiling with a maniacal gleam in his eyes. ]

[CUTTO: Aaron Jones staring at the camera.]

[CUTTO: Jared Wells and Cameron Cruise looking down at the camera.]

[CUTTO: A graphic showing an old style map with the words “The Empire” across a giant swath of land.]

[CUTTO: Steven Shane flashing a devilish grin.]

[CUTTO: Muse smiling cheerfully.]

[CUTTO: Anarky glaring at the camera.]

[CUTTO: Lesbian Siegel and Caitlyn Daymon talking.]

[CUTTO: Larry Tact standing on the second rope, arms raised.]

[CUTTO: Teddy Alexander and Sam Turner, Jr. holding up the tag team titles.]

[CUTTO: “Triple X” Sean Stevens standing in the entrance.]

[CUTTO: The First, holding the EPW World Title and staring into the camera.]

[CUTTO: The map, this time a tracking line heads towards a dot marked New Orleans, Louisiana, when the line hits the dot, AGGRESSION 72, with KING OF THE CAGE: TAG TEAM EDITION 2012 bursts onto the screen in red letters.]

[FADEIN: Pyro exploding as the New Orleans Arena gets LOUD! Signs supporting Stevens, Impulse, Cruise are scene as the camera pans all over the arena before finally we cut to the broadcast table with Dave Thomas, Dean Matthews and Mike Neely.]

DT: Welcome to the Big Easy and Welcome to Aggression 72. I’m Dave Thomas joined as always by Dean Matthews and Mike Neely. The King of the Cage comes to a head tonight, as the final three teams get in the steel cage to battle for the World Tag Team Championship and the title of King of the Cage.

DM: Three very different teams in the finals, we got the upstarts in Dirk Dickwood Presents who got a second chance and have taken that chance and run with it to a shocking finals appearance for them but the question is, can they seal the deal and win this thing?

MN: The answer is a loud NO! Are you kidding me Dean? Teddy Alexander and Sam Turner Jr. are a pair of killers, these men ripped the EPW World Tag Team Titles out of the hands of the Dragons and I didn’t think ANYONE had that in them. They are legit as can be and they HAVE to be the overwhelming favorites in the finals as much as I don’t like to say it, because the final team in the three way is going to be all sorts of beaten up by the time the cage goes down.

DT: Neely is referring to the fact that his hero Triple X Sean Stevens and Impulse will not only be in that match for the right to win King of the Cage and the EPW World Tag Team Titles, but they will also be in the ring fighting each other and Cameron Cruise for the right to earn a shot at the EPW World Title at Unleashed.

MN: That’s the only reason why they are not going to win the King of the Cage, it’s because nothing and nobody is getting in Triple X’s way of becoming the first LEGIT three time EPW World Champion. He’s going to knock his boy scout buddy around like a pinball and Cruise is going to catch a beating like you read about.

DT: Says one very bias man about that match. Also Christian Light will be taking on a big challenge as he faces the Anti-Champion Anarky in a non-title match.

DM: These two men seem like oil and water and you know when Anarky doesn’t like somebody it’s going to lead to a lot of violence.

MN: Well Anarky hates everyone but this Light guy seems to really have pissed him off, but then again Light’s a giant, I’m sure he’s not scared about this fight, but the truth is he should be.

DT: The other half of the duo who seek to destroy this company, Rezin will battle the ladies man Rich Mahogany in what will be a really interesting battle.

MN: I can’t believe Rich agreed to this. Rezin stinks like death, it’s going to be a month or more before he gets the stench off him and can go prowling for women again even if he does win he loses!

DT: The powerful MJ2 looks to get on track against former TV Champion Larry Tact in a match where both men need to get rolling.

MN: Yeah but MJ2 is far more likely to do so. I say this only because I hate Larry Tact.

DT: Adrian Willard looks to rally as he battles Steven Shane.

DM: Willard has been hit or miss for a while, there’s just something missing for the man, maybe tonight begins the process of him putting it together.

MN: Or maybe Shane kicks his ass and he’s off to work for Five Guys.

DT: And last but not least.

MN: No it is least Thomas, any match with Aaron Jones is the least.

DT: Thanks Neely, we have a three way with Karl Brown, Troy Davis and Aaron Jones.

MN: Oh goodie, Davis and Brown racing to pin Jones, what a thrilling battle, can I sign up for that match and make it a four way? I’m pretty sure I got the same odds as anyone else in this building of scoring a pin on Jones.

DT: It’s all coming to you live right after this break, don’t go anywhere folks!
 

DBrunkGXW

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Karl Brown v. Tony Davis v. Aaron Jones

[CUE UP: “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked” by Cage The Elephant as TONY FATORA stands in the ring, microphone in hand.]

DT: We’ve got a very intriguing contest up next, folks – big time Triple Threat action between three proud and hungry competitors!

TF: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL, and is a TRIPLE THREAT MATCH! Entering the ring first…from INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA…weighing in at ONE hundred SIXTY POUNDS…he is…AARON JONES!

[The crowd gives a warm round of cheers for JONES as he makes his way into the ring. Slightly less awkwardly than in previous matchups, he slaps hands with several fans and even shows a slight smile.]

DM: We all remember what happened the last time Aaron Jones entered the ring, Dave – pure SLAUGHTER. That poor kid had to go up one-on-one against the EPW World Champion himself, and if THAT wasn’t bad enough, Dis III came in and WRECKED Jones out of nowhere!

MN: And then he cabbage-patched. Bizarre, but kind of great. Though I gotta say, fellas – what’s with this Dis III, anyway? Get your own gimmick! Just because it worked for Lindsay Troy and The First doesn’t mean it’ll work for whoever that buffoon is!

DT: You make a good point there, Neely, but no one can deny that Dis III showed some impressive skill at Aggression 71. Aaron Jones is a hungry young man and he’s getting better each and every show. You’ve gotta imagine that he’s looking to make a statement here tonight!

[CUE UP: “Hero” by Childish Gambino to a big crowd pop.]

TF: Now approaching the ring…from MOUNT LAUREL, NEW JER-SEYYYYYY…weighing in at TWO hundred FIFTY SIX POUNDS…he is ONE HALF of TEAM VIAGRAAAAAA…TONYYYYYY DAVIIIIIIIIS!

[The crowd raucously cheers DAVIS approaches the ring. His eyes are a bit wild as he power runs his way to the ring. JONES steps out of the ring as DAVIS enters, letting the crowd pump him up.]

DT: Tony Davis looks fired up out there, but some may wonder if he’s TOO fired up.

MN: There’s no wondering here – the answer is clearly, YES, he is too fired up. He went in there guns a-blazin’ against DDP last show, trying to cowboy up and win the match all by himself, and it cost his team everything!

DM: It’s a big match for Davis either way. He has a lot to prove out there – to himself, to the fans, to Jack Harmen, to all the boys in the back – that he can stand alone. That he IS everything he says he is. A win here would go a long way to accomplishing that goal!

DT: You’re absolutely right. Even if the record books say otherwise, Aaron Jones has put up a hell of a fight these last few months in EPW, and not to mention the pedigree of-

[The lights cut out in the arena, interrupting the announce table. CUE UP: “Rainmaker” by Iron Maiden. Green and white lights flash around the arena, and as the guitar kicks in, KARL BROWN steps out to a rousing cheer from the fans. He high fives the outstretched arms of dozens of ringside fans as he makes his way to the ring.]

DT: THIS man!

TF: And FINALLY…from NOTTINGHAM, ENGLAND…weighing in at TWO hundred ELEVEN POUNDS…he is ONE HALF of the ANIMEZING DRAGONS…KARRRRRL…”THE DRAAAAAAAAGON”…BROWWWWWWWWWN!

DM: I NEVER thought there would be a team that could defeat the Animezing Dragons for the Tag Team Championship, but you have to hand it to the powerhouse tandem of Alexander and Turner Jr. – they shocked the WORLD when they defeated Karl Brown and Otaku. Brown’s back in singles action here tonight, and he looks the same as he always seems to look in these high pressure situations – the consummate professional.

DT: No Otaku, no Jack Harmen – big statements by these two tag team icons here, don’t you think?

MN: The problem they face now is that if they lose this match, where do they go from here? What will Harmen or Otaku say if their partner gets pinned in the middle of that ring?

DT: We’re on our way to finding out! All three men are in the ring now, and referee Nick DiGarma is signaling for this match to begin!

[All three men begin circling around the ring, slowly at first, then picking up to a brisk pace. DAVIS, tired of waiting, makes the first move, charging hard at BROWN and leveling him with a clothesline. He picks BROWN up by the head and begins to set him up for a German Suplex until BROWN throws a sharp elbow into his ribs breaking up the hold. BROWN goes for an arm drag onto DAVIS, which gets reversed into an arm drag that sends BROWN across the ring. JONES, keeping his distance at first, comes flying across the ring and hits an unsuspecting DAVIS with a big dropkick that drops him to the mat.]

DT: BIG dropkick there by Aaron Jones out of NOWHERE!

MN: About time that kid hit somebody.

DM: I think everyone in the arena assumed this was going to be a battle between Brown and Davis – they have the pedigrees, they have the accolades, and the only match Jones has won was with MJ2. I think we better buckle our seatbelts – Jones is saying “Don’t forget about ME!”

DT: Right hands by Aaron Jones onto Davis! Another right! Ano-CAUGHT! Jones’s right hand has been caught by Tony Davis, and he looks like he’s squeezing the life out of the kid’s knuckles! He powers his way to his feet – twists the arm! Kick to the midsection, Jones to his knees! Still a hold of that arm – KNIFE EDGE CHOP TO THE FACE OF JONES! That HAS to hurt! Jones on his back, Davis going for the PIN! No – The Dragon breaks it up before it gets past 1.

[BROWN clubs DAVIS in the back twice. Quick as lightning, he sets DAVIS up and hits a Release German Suplex as JONES groggily makes his way to his feet, checking his nose for blood from the knife edge chop. JONES attempts to throw a knife edge chop of his own towards BROWN, which gets caught and reversed into a Hammerlock. Continuing to hold onto JONES’s hand, BROWN wraps another around the neck of JONES and kicks his leg out for a modified Russian Leg Sweep. BROWN goes for the cover, which is broken up at one and a half by DAVIS. The crowd gets louder and louder with each exchange.]

DT: The action is really heating up here and the crowd is eating it UP! It’s hard to say who they want to see win the most – all three of these men are fan favorites here in EPW!

MN: Wait – you’re telling me Aaron Jones has fans?

DT: Of course he does, Neely! Who doesn’t like an underdog story?

DM: Brown and Davis are standing eyeball to eyeball in the middle of the ring, fellas! No disrespect shown between either competitor, and here’s the collar-and-elbow lock up!

DT: These are two of the most technically proficient wrestlers on the roster, gentlemen! Brown uses his speed, positions himself behind Davis – Davis with a quick back elbow in the face of Brown! Davis with a reversal, positions himself behind Brown!

DM: Davis looks like he’s going for a suplex here – NO! Brown landed on his feet!

MN: How in the hell did he do that?!

DT: Brown goes for a big roundhouse kick to Davis’s head! NO! Davis with some sort of sixth sense and he ducks underneath it! Davis swings around with a big forearm that catches Brown square in the jaw! Another! Another! Into the ropes, Davis sends Brown across the ring with an Irish Whip! Bends over as Brown rebounds, BROWN WITH A SUNSET FLIP! Here’s the cover!

1!

2!

NO! Kickout by Davis! They both scramble to their feet and start to trade forearm shivers and knife edge chops! Davis beginning to overpower Brown here!

[DAVIS works BROWN into a corner where he begins to rain down heavy shots into the Dragon. Backing away to avoid the referee’s five-count, he re-engages BROWN and hits a sharp knee to the gut. He drapes BROWN’s arm over his shoulder and lifts him high above his head, stalling BROWN completely vertically. No one has noticed the fact that in another corner, JONES has found his way to the top turnbuckle and is steadying his balance, waiting for an opportune moment.]

DT: Tony Davis is going to hold onto this hold for a while, gentlemen – the crowd is already saying “Ooooooh!” and he’s just smiling at them!

DM: I think he just said “I can’t hear you!” to the crowd! He wants to make a big impact here!

MN: Uh, guys? Do you see what I see?

DT: What are you – oh my God! Aaron Jones is – OH MY GOD! OHHHHH LORD! AARON JONES JUST FLEW OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH A FLYING CROSS BODY ONTO KARL BROWN AND TONY DAVIS, AND ALL THREE MAN ARE IN A BAD WAY!

CROWD: *GROAAAAANCHEEEEEEEER*

MN: Suicidal! Kid, that’s how you get a man hurt out there –you try to go for something bigger than you’ve ever really done, and now look at the wreckage!

DM: This could play into anyone’s hands here, Neely! It was a big-time equalizer, and that may be exactly what Jones was looking for! Karl Brown nearly landed on his HEAD there!

DT: Jones to his feet first, and the crowd is showing their appreciation for his effort! He sees both men on the ground in pain! GOES FOR A PIN ON TONY DAVIS!

1!

2!

NO! KICKOUT AT TWO AND A HALF! He goes for the pin on Karl Brown!

1!

2!

THR-NO! NO! Karl Brown got the shoulder up!

CROWD: AWWWWWWWW*cheers*

DM: Aaron Jones just came as close as he’s gotten to a W here, fellas, but it isn’t enough yet!

[DAVIS has mostly recovered his faculties by now and is on his feet, eyeballing a distraught JONES, still on the ground after his failed pin attempt on both men. Stalking JONES, he waits until he reaches his feet before hitting him with an ultraquick Reverse Russian Leg Sweep that rattles through JONES’s entire body. DAVIS signals that he’s about to finish things off here as he stalks his way around JONES, waiting for him to get to his feet. Meanwhile, BROWN shakes the cobwebs out as he pulls himself to his feet using the ropes.]

DT: Tony Davis waiting! Getting himself in the perfect position for his Equalizer! What’s this – Karl Brown locks up Davis’s waist from behind! A quick reversal by Davis – reversal by Brown – Davis misses with a back elbow, YOWZA! KARL BROWN CONNECTS with a HUUUUUUGE ROUNDHOUSE KICK! Tony Davis just hit the mat face first like a bag of bricks!

DM: Aaron Jones is finally getting to his feet!

DT: Brown with a kick to Aaron’s back - DRAGON’S BITE! DRAGON’S BITE! Karl Brown just LAID OUT Jones with that move! Here’s the cover!

1!

2! Tony Davis crawling over, trying to stop it!

….3!! He’s done it! Karl Brown has taken the victory!!

[The bell rings as DAVIS drapes his arm over the bodies of BROWN and JONES a second too late. “Rainmaker” by Iron Maiden blasts through the arena speakers as the referee raises Karl Brown’s hand in victory.]

DT: A HELL of an effort by all three men in this contest, gentlemen!

DM: Aaron Jones put up the biggest fight of his life so far. He worked his ASS off in that ring, but the experience and the talent of The Dragon was just too much!

MN: And what about Tony Davis? He’s gotta be disappointed – if he’s not careful, he’ll find himself in full-on “slump” mode.

DT: Maybe he still blames himself for his team’s loss in the King of the Cage tournament, Neels. Maybe he’s blaming himself for all of his team’s personal problems. No matter what, you have to wonder what’s going on in the mind of Tony Davis, as he was just a SPLIT SECOND shy of continuing this match, possibly to victory. All I know is, we’ve just witnessed a hell of a contest, and we’ll be back for more AGGRESSION right after this!
 

DBrunkGXW

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Eliminating an issue

[Backstage --- Dan Ryan’s office.

Ryan is at his desk and the camera pans around to show Cameron Cruise in the chair across from him.]

DAN RYAN: So, have you had a chance to think about our discussion last week?

CAMERON CRUISE: I have.

DAN RYAN: And?

CAMERON CRUISE: I’m ready to take matters into my own hands. No more talk. No more waiting for things to come to me. It’s about time I got more aggressive.

DAN RYAN: If you win the triple threat tonight, you get the shot at the World Title at Unleashed. Beyond that, your contractual return shot is on hold for now. There’s simply no place for it right now. I’m throwing you a bone with this match, and if you can’t win tonight, it’d be hard to argue that you deserve a shot right now anyway.

CAMERON CRUISE: I’m not gonna argue the point. If I can’t be given my shot at Unleashed, I’ll go out there tonight and take it.

DAN RYAN: (nodding) Good.

[Cruise gets up to leave, but pauses as Dan Ryan speaks]

DAN RYAN: And Cameron? If you don’t like everyone ganging up on you, you’re gonna have to hit that ring and force respect. That’s as close as you’re ever gonna get to advice from me. You can’t whine your way out of it. You have to make it happen with some action.

CAMERON CRUISE: Don’t worry. (Cruise turns and walks through the door) I’ll do what I have to do.

[Cruise leaves and shuts the door behind him, but the shot lingers as Ryan looks down at some paperwork.

The phone rings.]

DAN RYAN: Yeah. (pause) Sure, Phyllis, patch it through.

[Ryan continues writing something but then pauses abruptly]

DAN RYAN: Well look who’s on my phone. You know, if you’re here at the arena, you could’ve just come to see me personally. (pause) Yeah, I understand. But for future reference, you’re welcome anytime you’d like to stop by. (pause, followed by a chuckle) Well, what can I do for you?

[Ryan listens, then an eyebrow goes up.]

DAN RYAN: Really now. That’s…… interesting.
 

DBrunkGXW

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Adrian Willard v. Steven Shane

DT: This match has the potential to be a classic.

DM: On one hand…we have the man that believes himself to be some sort of fulfillment of a Prophecy.

DT: And on the other hand we have a man that is claiming to seek vengeance on those that have created some type of injustice against him.

MN: Any way you slice it, these guys are kooky. They live in a land of make-believe and have manifested these thoughts in their head as some type of reality.

DT: Of course we are talking about “The Prophecy” Adrian Willard and his opponent tonight, “Sensational” Steven Shane.

DM: Dave, these men are looking for an opportunity to rise up through the ranks.

DT: There has been a cloud of mystery surrounding the status of the Intercontinental Championship since it was vacated when Stalker was publicly fired from Empire Pro.

DM: One has to assume that one or both of these men can be in contention for the prestigious title.

MN: Dan Ryan should just hand the thing over to Sean Stevens and call it a night.

DT: Let’s take it to the ring announcer, Tony Fatora, for introductions!

TF: This match is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit.

["Power" by Kanye West pumps through the arena speakers. Chanting takes over the PA system. At the end of the 15 seconds of chanting, the lights go down. A fountain of pyrotechnics begin at the right side of the stage, making their way to the left and then back to the right. The lyrics kick into "Power" as Shane slowly rises up out of the stage. As the lift finishes, Shane steps away from the stage and down the ramp, taking in the crowd's reaction on his way to the ring.]

TF: Hailing from Hollywood, California. Standing 6 feet and 3 inches and weighing in at 253 pounds…put your hands together for “SENSATIONAL” STEEEEEVEENNNNN SHHHHHHAAAAAAAANNNNNNEEEE!

[The crowd gives a chorus of boos to Steven Shane. The camera zooms in on his face and he is mouthing something about Adrian Willard being guilty. Shane hops on the ring apron, steps through the ropes, and begins stretching out as his opponent is introduced.]

TF: And his opponent!

[“Genesis” by Justice cranks up over the public address system. The start of the song pulses through the arena as the lights switch from white and blue with each pulse. A light flash of white phosphoresce at the entrance, this happens for about thirty eight seconds. Then as the beat hits Willard enters the ringside area, both his arms out as he raises them slowly and looks up at the ceiling then slam his foot and throws his arm violently, light pop of pyrotechnics at the ramp.]

TF: From Chicago, Illinois. He stands 6 feet 4 inches and weighs in at 285 pounds. Here is “THE PROPHECY” ADRIANNNN WILLLLLAARRRRRRDDD!

[The crowd boos loudly as Adrian walks down the ramp slowly checking his gear. “The Prophecy” now stands in front of the ring grabbing the bottom rope and climbing up the side he then enters the ring. He climbs the turnbuckle, small taunting to some fans as he gets off of it.]

DT: A little background on Adrian Willard. When he was growing up in Chicago, he was a member of a white gang and would often have run-ins with the law.

MN: A white gang? Do those exist? Oh…you mean skinheads?

DT: Please don’t go there…the man has hair. He doesn’t strike me as a white supremist.

MN: OK…maybe I crossed the line with that. But if he isn’t a reformed skinhead…that leaves open only one other type of white gang.

DT: I’ll bite. What gang is that?

MN: Greasers! I can totally see him rockin’ the leather T-Bird jacket, slicking his hair back, and being a total badass on a Vespa.

[SFX: DING…DING…DING]

DM: Dave, why do you allow him to rant like this?

DT: Its strictly fill dead air, that’s all. [Exhales a deep breath.] And now these two men circle the ring and are about to lockup.

MN: I’m not filler fodder, tubby. I’m an observationist. What I do requires a highly trained mind and skill beyond your comprehension.

DM: I’m just going to ignore you.

DT: Willard pushes Shane into the corner and the referee forces him to break the hold.

DM: Adrian releases the hold and then attempts to club Shane with a big right hand.

DT: Shane ducks and retaliates with a flurry of rights and lefts on Willard.

DM: Willard appears to be slightly dazed. Steven whips Adrian into the ropes, Willard bounces off and is absolutely drilled by Shane with a whopping spinebuster!

MN: Come on, Willard….do this for the Dead Rabbits! Do it for the James Gang! Do this for all the white gangs in America, past and supposedly…present?

DM: …

MN: Dean, why the silent treatment? That comment was gold!

DT: Shane now lifting Willard to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Willard bounces off and Shane uses the momentum and delivers a thunderous belly-to-belly suplex!

DM: Shane now to his feet and brings Willard to his feet…inverted DDT! Ouch! Steven Shane now goes for the cover…


ONE!


TWO!


NO! Kick out by Willard.


MN: Nothin’ is gonna keep this former gangbanger down. When I went to New York last year, I think I saw Willard in an off-Broadway performance of Westside Story!

DM: Anyway…Shane is questioning the ref on the speed of his count and goes back to work on Willard by stomping on his prone opponent.

DT: Steven Shane now pulls Adrian Willard to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Shane rushes Willard and nails him with a clothesline that sends both men to the floor!

DM: Both combatants are laid out from the impact of the maneuver and the referee is starting to apply the ten count.

DT: Shane is reaching up to the ring apron and looks down at Willard. Steven takes a few deep breaths and seizes the opportunity to toss Adrian into the ring.

DM: The Sensational One now climbs up to the apron and enters the ring. He leans over to grab Willard…and Willard hooks him up in a small package out of nowhere!


ONE!


TWO!


NO!


DT: Shane hops to his feet and has a bewildered look on his face. Where did that come from?

DM: Willard still down on the mat and Shane goes back to work by lifting him to his feet. He whips Willard into the ropes, Willard bounces off, ducks a clothesline, bounces off the other side and nails Shane with a flying shoulder block!

DT: Adrian isn’t letting up on offense. He’s taking this time to take control of this match up.

DM: Willard now raining down with double axe handles onto the back of Shane.

DT: Adrian grabs a hold of Shane now…hoists him up…stalling vertical suplex…and down goes Steven!

DM: “The Prophecy” now back on the attack and picks Shane up…a flurry of European uppercuts and he backs Steven Shane into the corner. He finished off the assault with a belly to belly suplex out of the corner that sends Shane to the middle of the ring!

DT: Willard drops a corkscrew elbow and hooks the leg.


ONE!


TWO!


THR…NO! Shane kicks out!

MN: Are you guys still upset with me? I promise…no more white gang jokes. I’ve already run out of material.

DM: …

DT: And Willard is relentless…he is back on the warpath and punishing Shane by slapping on a camel clutch.

MN: Just curious…how often do you see camels do moves like that? Ever wonder the origin of that move? Was it just a product of the politically incorrect era of wrestling when all Middle Easterners utilized it? That’s just wrong.

DM: You are certainly one to comment on things being politically incorrect, Mike.

DT: Anyway, back to the match. Adrian has the move cinched and the referee is asking Shane is he gives up. I can tell you, there is absolutely no quit in Steven Shane.

DM: Shane appears to be out of it and the ref is checking the arms.


Arm drops ONCE…


TWICE!


Ref check for a third drop…NO! Shane still has life!


DT: His arm is shaking and he is trying to power out of this predicament. Willard puts a kibosh on that by using his bodyweight and crashing it down into Shane’s back!

DM: Willard releases the hold and decides to take another route. Adrian picks Shane up into a body slam position…he tripped over his own foot! Shane now has him in a pinning position.


ONE!


QUICK KICKOUT BY WILLARD!


DT: Willard not having any of that. He slipped up, but was able to rebound quickly there. Shane slumped down on one knee and Willard already up and walking over toward him…LOW BLOW by Shane and Willard is in a world of pain!

MN: Did I ever tell you about the time I had a low blow. There was this midget stripper and she…

DM: Enough already!

MN: I’m just trying to relate the action in the ring with my own life experiences. Liven this puppy up!

DT: Gentlemen, please. Shane is now gaining his breath and locks Willard up by the head…NECKBREAKER! And now Shane is moving towards the ropes.

DM: Steven Shane is ascending up to the top. We don’t usually see this from him, do we?

DT: Not at all. And Willard is getting to his feet.

DM: Willard turns around and Shane jumps off with a high cross body!

DT: Willard catches him and Shane has the look of shock across his face. “The Prophecy” powers Shane up onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry position…HIGHER VISION! HIGHER VISION! Adrian Willard covers Shane.


ONE!


TWO!


THREE!


DM: What a surprise ending there, seemingly out of nowhere. The tide turned several times in this bout and Adrian Willard comes out with the win. Let’s take it to Tony Fatora for the official results!

TF: The winner of this match…“THE PROPHECY” ADRIANNNN WILLLLLAARRRRRRDDD!!!!

DT: Willard having his hand raised and looks out into the crowd to play up to the audience.

DM: OH NO! Steven Shane has recovered and clipped his knee! Shane climbs on top of him and begins to pepper Willard with multiple fist to the head. Shane is working over Willard something awful right here.

DT: Shane up on his feet…he grabs the legs of Willard and lock in the CALIFORNIA CLUTCH! He is going to work on that knee that he clipped. Willard looks as if he is in a lot of agony here.

DM: Shane leaning back even more to add more leverage to the damage he is inflicting with that maneuver!

[Steven Shane has Adrian Willard in the California Clutch for a good minute before additional EPW personnel make their way to the ring to break it up.]

MN: Here comes the cavalry. Hey…all those guys are white…you don’t think THEY were in a gang with Willard, do you?

DT: The referees are able to free Willard from the move…but the damage has been done. Shane is backing off…I think the referees have gotten through to him.

DM: NO! Shane shoves the refs aside and goes back to work on Willard. He is nailing his with a lot of hammer fist shots and I think he may have busted up Willard’s nose as blood begins to trail out of it.

DT: Shane now being pulled off of Willard as EPW Security has come out here to break up this post-match beat down that Shane has given to Willard.

MN: You think he feels better after being hit with the Higher Vision? Shane is angry and I don’t think we have seen the last of this.

DT: Not at all. Shane is now making his way to the back. We’re gonna take a break from the action. We will be back after a few words from our sponsors!
 

DBrunkGXW

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One Smallz Problem

[CUT BACKSTAGE: LOUD commotion as, by the arena doors we see an enraged BOOGIE SMALLZ raining down fists to the head of Larry Tact, who is trying, but not succeeding, in covering up to mitigate the damage. Likewise, on the other side of the large entrance foyer, Rich Mahogany is down, clutching at his ribs

Around the scene, a table is shattered, equipment tossed around as though they’ve been used very violently, very recently]

BOOGIE SMALLZ: AHHH!! (fist) AHHHH!! (fist) GAAHHHH (hard fist)

[EPW security comes flying around the corner as Boogie jumps to his feet and backs through the door, a huge shit-eating grin on his face.

Medical personnel tend to Larry Tact and Rich Mahogany as the camera scene cuts back to ringside.]
 

DBrunkGXW

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Malcolm Joseph-Jones v. Larry Tact

DT: And welcome back to Aggression, we're looking forward to the King of the Cage finale later tonight but for now, our next bout certainly has a lot of questions hovering around it.

MN: Like how short it'll be, I give it a minute and that's if Tact even makes it to the ring at this point.

DT: I think my colleague is referring to the brutal backstage assault that an enraged Boogie Smallz inflicted on Larry Tact right before this match, you just have to wonder if he'll even make it out to the ring at this point.

DM: We don't have long until that question will have an answer because I have word that M Double J is ready to make his way to the ring.

[“Best of the Best” by KU pumps through the speakers throughout the arena. MJ2 steps onto the stage and walks down the ramp towards the ring.]

DT: And there he is, MJ2 and you just know that he's itching to prove himself tonight after Cameron Cruise snatched victory from him at the very last second during our last broadcast.

MN: I'm still disgusted that you two sat and happily pointed to CAMERON CRUISE... CAMERON. CRUISE. As a wily veteran. I'm sure I saw Cruise's wiles up for eBay auction years ago.

DM: The fact is MJ2's inexperience cost him on the last show and we have to wait and see if he can take advantage of the huge opening Boogie Smallz has given him here tonight.

MN: Speaking of huge openings....

DT: ...Let's hand it over to Tony Fatora...

TF: Coming to the ring from Jackson, Mississippi, standing 6’6” and weighing in at 269 pounds. This is M…J…2! MAALLLCOLM….JOOOOOSEPH…..JJJJJOOOONNNNEESSSSSS!!!

[Jones enters the rings and glares down at the entrance way as he begins to test the ropes from his corner. The lights begin flickering WILDLY as the opening beats of "Pieces" by Hoobastank sound throughout the arena.]

"TURN AROUND AND PICK UP THE PIECES!"

MN: He's dumber than I gave him credit for.

DM: This is courage. This is fighting spirit. This is what Larry Tact is showing right now.

MN: It's ego, pure and simple.

DT: I hate to interrupt you two but... where is Tact? We have his music but we don't have Larry.

[Tony Fatora lifts up the microphone to his lips, Tact still nowhere in sight]

TF: And his opponent, he hails from MANHATTAN, NEW YORK, he stands at SIX FOOT SIX, he weighed in earlier today at TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY POUNDS.... LARRRRRRRRRY TACT!

DT: Well, there's the introduction but I still don't see Larry.

MN: Maybe he was smart enough to take the night off after his run in with Boogie.

DM: Well my sources have informed me Tact wants this fight, he doesn't want to back down.

MN: Really helping your credibility with the fact our precious Larry is nowhere to be seen!

[“Pieces” continues to play as the referee and MJ2 begins to have a brief conversation in the corner. MJ2 is pointing wildly to the ramp and the referee can only shrug his shoulders in response. Tony Fatora lifts the microphone up to his lips once again.]

TF: Making his way to the ring... LARRRRRRRRRY TACT!

DT: Second annoucement and still no Larry.

DM: I trust my source, he'll be here.

MN: I didn't know low budget porn websites were considered valued news sources these days.

[MJ2 begins to look increasingly frustrated by this turn of events and begins to try and call the shots with the referee. The referee doesn't look very keen by walks over to Tony Fatora and whispers some instructions in his ears.]

MN: Looks like Tony is getting some sweet nothings whispered in his ears here tonight.

TF: Ladies and gentleman, I've just been informed...

[Tony is cut off in his tracks as Larry Tact begins to hobble his way out from the back. Very slowly limping his way down to and in to the ring]

DT: Larry Tact is showing amazing guts to even try and make it down to the ring right now and look at MJ2, he's stunned. He didn't think he'd see Tact out here.

DM: Well, when you look at MJ2 and you look at Tact on an even playing field, this would be one hell of a competitive struggle, these two are easily mirror images of each other...

MN: Aside from the whole race thing.

DM: ...and yet this is hardly an even playing field. Larry Tact has guts to be out here but you have to imagine that this match is certainly a matter of when, not if.

DT: MJ2 isn't showing the same confidence you may give him.

[SFX: Ding. Ding. Ding]

DT: I guess this one is going to get underway. Larry Tact is in the ring but even I have to admit, the man's judgement must be called into question.

DM: MAYBE NOT! LARRY OUT SWINGING! He is throwing wild haymakers at MJ2 and MJ2 is rocked, he may not have a steady footing but he's not going to do down without a fight.

MN: That's it Larry, use up the few remaining bits of energy you had on an opening assault. That'll leave you in good stead.

DT: I may very well do just that as Larry Tact now has MJ2 up against the ropes and I'm surprised to say this but MJ2 looks like he got rocked by that wild barrage from Tact. The referee now stepping in to separate the two, perhaps looking for the clean break here.

DM: MJ2 cannot have expected the practically crippled Tact to come out so strong but Tact know what he needed to do to even stand a chance in this bout and it looks like he has done exactly that.

DT: MJ2 now throwing his hands up to allow for the break and Tact is getting pulled off of him. A stiff warning being thrown in Tact's direction and.... GOD DAMN IT. MJ2 goes right for the knee! He clips the knee of Tact and this is not looking good...

MN: Looks fine to me. If your opponent is stupid enough to enter the ring with a giant target painted on a body part, you take advantage of the opening.

DM: You still have to respect Tact's willingness to fight though.

MN: I tend not to respect idiocy. Maybe that's just me.

DT: MJ2 looking to continue to attack here, Tact is looking in great pain, it may not have been the wisest decision to compete in this condition. MJ2 goes go... SMALL PACKAGE! SMALL PACKAGE FROM TACT!

DM: THIS IS HOW CRUISE GOT HIM!

DT: The referee goes in for the count...


ONE!



TWO!



No, MJ2 manages to power out.

MN: MJ2 did not want to get caught out two shows in a row by a small package, especially in Tact's condition, there was no way he could hold that package for long.

DM: I've heard you're quite familiar with holding packages.

DT: An angered MJ2 now on the attack, he is stomping away brutally at Tact, it's almost as if Tact's package attempt sent MJ2 into some kind of rage. A series of vicious stomps and there is nothing Tact can do to stop it.

DM: It's painful to watch this, Tact writhing around on the mat in agony. I'm almost ready to join in on questioning if it was wise for him to pull himself out here.

MN: OF COURSE IT WASN'T!

DT: MJ2 now leaning up against the corner, he's almost daring Tact to get up, to get back up on his feet but it looks like it's nothing doing. Larry Tact just can't quite find the strength to get back up on his feet.

DM: MJ2 should really be going in for the mercy killing at this point.

MN: MJ2 has something to prove and he's going to make an example out of Tact.

DT: I can't believe what I'm seeing, I'm not sure MJ2 can either. Tact is slowly using the ropes to pull himself back up again. This is amazing, this is astounding. Larry Tact will just not quit.

MN: But MJ2 is ready for him, he's measure Tact up as he slowly hobbles back up to an even base.

DT: MJ2 rushes towards Tact... SPEAR! SPEAR! He crushed Larry Tact with that spear!

DM: There was very little Larry could do to defend himself on that one.

DT: Jones now turning to the fans and signaling that this one is over and you know, he may very well be right.

MN: Of course he's right! Larry Tact is basically the wrestling version of a Walking Dead corpse. It's time to end this!

DT: Jones picks up Tact... The Greatness Buster!! MJ2 crushes Tact with that Fisherman's Buster of his.

DM: I think this one is now elementary.

DT: MJ2 drops down for the cover.

ONE!


TWO!


THREE!

[SFX: Ding. Ding. Ding]

MN: Thanks for coming Larry, you probably shouldn't have.

DM: Surely you have to give him credit for guts.

MN: Even if I did, the intelligence grade still tips him into the negative.

DT: A strong win for MJ2 here. You have to wonder though, will Tact be hunting for revenge on Smallz after this. Hell, will Jones want to thank him or kill him for softening up his opponent.

DM: Larry Tact has to be credited for still making his way out here, many other would not have after that assault backstage.

MN: And yet, there he slumps in the ring and Malcolm Joesph-Jones stands tall and triumphant. MJ2 is a force, a dangerous one at that and EPW better be on alert!
 
Last edited:

DBrunkGXW

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Rich Mahogany v. Rezin

[CUE UP: “Master of Alchemy” by Electric Wizard. The fans BOO loudly as Rezin’s video begins to play, and the sludge-fiend himself soon after emerges from the entry-way, carrying with him in one hand a heavy-looking ten-gallon bucket. He sneers over the crowd for a moment before coming down the ramp with the bucket held with conviction at his side.]

TF: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, making his way to the ring... hailing from the Bottom of the Barrel, and weighing in at two-hundred and twenty-two pounds... HERE IS... REZIN!!

DT: Empire Pro’s resident goat bastard receives and unpleasant welcome from this New Orleans crowd, and he bears an equally unpleasant expression of sourness on his grizzled face!

MN: No doubt his face is STUCK that way after my man Trip put his foot into it back at Aggression 71!

DT: As we all remember, Rezin and his ally in sin, Anarky, were eliminated from the King of the Cage tournament at the last event... and all signs since then seem to indicate that he hasn’t quite gotten over that loss. I almost wonder what he has in mind for this match...

DM: Knowing the unstable mind of Erik Black, I can’t help but imagine he’ll do anything and everything possible to take out his frustrations on his opponent in this match. What’s on MY mind right now is that bucket he has with him.

DT: I was wondering that myself, Dean. What’s he got in there...?

[Rezin sets the bucket down on the top step as he rolls under the ropes to enter the ring, and a nearby ringside cam zooms in for a detailed look at the mysterious container. From beneath the sealed lid, we can see a few traces of a thick, black liquid seeping down the sides.]

MN: Oh man, don’t tell me that bum is carrying his TOILET around with him!

DT: I honestly don’t know, Mike, but I’m sure there’s some sort of reason why he brought it down here. And we can likely assume it’s probably a very DIABOLICAL reason!

[CUE UP: “Love Man” by Otis Redding. The fans CHEER wildly as Rich Mahogany’s video reel of puckering lips, oiled six-packs, and gratuitous bulge close-ups fills the EmpireTron. A moment later, the Vaginal Vegan emerges, drawing a gasp from the ladies as he still appears visibly hurt from the attack earlier, clutching at his side. Still, he manages to push down the pain long enough to show a smile and wave to the growing bloc of Mahogany fans in the crowd, before slowly making his way down the rampway.]

TF: And his opponent... from Austin, Texas, he weighs in at two-hundred and ten pounds... PLEASE WELCOME... RICH... MAHOGANY!!

DT: Despite the efforts of Boogie Smallz, “the Ladies Man” Rich Mahogany is back on his feet and ready to go through with this match! There are still those that despise his sleazy antics and womanizing habits, but I feel there are few who can question this man’s courage here tonight!

DM: I know I don’t... but still, we can clearly see that Rich is not one-hundred percent after that earlier attack made by Boogie! That won’t work toward his advantage here tonight... and if he’s not careful, it may even set him back come Unleashed, when Mahogany competes for the vacant EPW Intercontinental Title!

MN: Although, you know... he could just be okay, and playing up the thing with being hurt. You’d be surprised how many chicks you pick up with that move.

DM: Oh yeah, and how many have you picked up doing that, Neels?

MN: Uhh... does one half count?

DT: …I’m not even going to ask.

[Mahogany glances cautiously at the bucket left on the steel steps, and instead elects to enter the ring by climbing to the apron to give the fans a pelvic thrust to cherish for the rest of their lives, tarnishing the moment somewhat as the act causes him to wince in pain. He steps through the ropes and climbs a turnbuckle while Rezin impatiently paces to and fro on the other side of the ring, watching his opponent with grisly intent.]

DT: No doubt about it, Rich is still hurting... and Rezin right now looks like a wild predator getting riled up by the scent of blood. Can Mahogany pull this one off?

DM: His chances are looking grim, Dave. He’s got a smile on his face to keep the fans on his side, but the strained look around his eyes shows that he’s hiding his disadvantage right now. I think he knows much better than any of us on just how hard this is going to be for him just to get through this match, much less win it.

MN: On the other hand, though, he’s lucky enough to be fighting REZIN tonight... who is about two pegs above Aaron Jones and a push-broom in terms of being a threat.

DT: Referee Emilio Gomez looks ready to get this underway! He cues for the bell...

SFX: *DING! DING!*

DT: And -- OH MY, Rezin just comes streaking across the ring like a bullet, and completely CRASHES into an unsuspecting Mahogany, putting him to the mat!

DM: He caught him flat-footed and somewhat unprepared... and it probably didn’t help that the pain was slowly his reflexes!

DT: Mahogany trying to get an arm up and defend himself, as Rezin mercilessly whips him across the face with the left set of knuckles! It’s unusual to see Rich on the receiving end of a particularly STIFF bitchslap! Now he’s got the bottom rope, and Gomez calls for the break! But Rezin just won’t let UP!

Gomez: ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR...

MN: And finally, Rezin manages to hear the referee counting three inches away from his ear, and backs the hell of! Seriously, does that hobo have too much wax in his there, or something?

DT: The official gives a warning about the closed fists, but Rezin doesn’t seem to pay him any mind as he pulls Rich Mahogany back off the mat, and sends him right into the turnbuckle with an Irish Whip! Rich connects HARD... and here comes Rezin, following after him... BIG KNEE STRIKE catches Mahogany under the chin!

DM: Rich couldn’t even defend himself from that one! Rezin trying to follow-up now, pulls Mahogany out of the corner by the hair... and Rich goes FACE-FIRST into the mat after a one-armed bulldog by the Escape Artist!

DT: Mahogany is just gone from bad to worse, and now here’s Rezin going for the cover!

One...

Two...

Rich gets the shoulder up... but not without digging deep!

DM: Rezin is kicking on all cylinders... and he can be a dangerous athlete when he gets this kind of momentum going!

DT: Rich has gotta think of something to slow him down if he wants to get back into this fight... but Rezin is in complete control now, bringing Rich to his feet and putting him into a standing head scissor! Looks like he’s going for the BLACK HOLE BOMB here as he lifts him up -- but Rich COUNTERS with a FACEBUSTER!

Crowd: *POP!!*

MN: FINALLY, he shows some fight! We might actually have a MATCH now, gentlemen!

DT: Rich Mahogany trying to rally himself, and he quickly slaps on a side headlock before Rezin can push himself back off the mat! Rich is really squeezing down on him, too!

DM: A smart move by Mahogany, keeping the fast-moving Rezin on the mat and chipping away at his stamina. Rest holds aren’t the flashiest moves between the ropes, but when you NEED that rest, as Rich clearly does, they can serve an invaluable function in a contest!

MN: *YAAAAWWN!!* Oh! Huh! Were you just saying something, Dean-O? I nodded off at some point during this absolute BORING move...

DT: Rezin trying to work his way back to his feet now... Rich trying to turn himself around to prevent him from making a move, but “the Escape Artist” squirms around and manages to get a knee on the canvas! Rezin pushing himself up now, and Rich has him to the side, trying to keep that headlock in place!

DM: Every precious moment counts at this point!

DT: Here’s Rezin looking for the BACK SUPLEX to counter -- NO!! RICH LANDS ON HIS FEET! He timed that PERFECTLY!

MN: Oldest trick in the book...

DT: Here’s Rich going for the LARIAT from behind -- DUCKED BY REZIN!! He knew that was coming! Mahogany turning around --

SFX: *SMACK!!*

DT: DAMASCUS HEEL!! REZIN CAUGHT HIM RIGHT UNDER THE CHIN!!

Crowd: “OOOOHHHH!!!”

DT: Rich Mahogany just hit the mat like a TON OF BRICKS!

MN: And here I thought he LIKED IT with the lights out!

DT: Clearly not in this case! Rezin going for the cover here! That’s gotta be it!

ONE!

TWO!

THR -- RICH KICKS OUT!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DM: Mahogany just won’t give up!

DT: And Rezin looks absolutely incredulous right now! He’s up in Emilio Gomez’s face about the speed of that count, but the official is taking none of it!

MN: And if there’s one guy who wouldn’t think twice about giving a sleepy referee the shot in the mouth he so desperately needs for being idiotically slow, it’s that guy right there!

DT: Rezin gets back to Rich, and here he is now bringing him to his feet and putting him into motion... and THERE HE GOES through the ropes, dumped unceremoniously to the outside!

DM: Rich is in no man’s land now! He had the protection of the rules of the ring back on the canvas, but out there in the ringside area, he’s completely defenseless from the whims of a madman like Rezin!

DT: That madman has something CRAZY on the mind right now, as he is climbing the near turnbuckle! Rezin is perched on the top rope, eyeing the recovering Rich Mahogany like some twisted bird of prey ready to swoop down and strike!

MN: A freakin’ VULTURE, if you ask me!

DT: Rich almost to his feet... he turns around... REZIN OFF THE TOP ROPE --

Crowd: *GASP!!*

DT: OH MY GOD, HE GETS HIM WITH THE REZIN-RANA OFF THE TOP TO THE OUTSIDE!!

DM: Rich got THROWN OVER THE BARRICADE!! He’s in the FIRST ROW OF SEATS!!

MN: Touch that bulge while you can, fans! You fat morons will NEVER again get that close to it at any point in your miserable lives!

DT: An unbelievable daredevil maneuver pays off for Rezin in a big way, as he dusts himself off and rolls back under the ropes to enter the ring! Gomez gets told to begin his count, and now Rezin takes a SEAT right in the middle of the ring with his back to Mahogany!

Gomez: ONE... TWO...

DM: I guess he’s willing to win this one by count-out!

MN: Well, it’s not like anybody expects Rich to drag his sorry ass back in between the ropes after THAT move...

Gomez: THREE... FOUR...

DT: Hang on a second, we can see some movement there in the first row where Rich Mahogany fell over the barricade! I don’t believe it, but he’s trying to pull himself back to his feet!

MN: Come on, Rich! You’re getting SCHOOLED in there! At this point, you just need to hang it up!

Gomez: FIVE... SIX...

DM: Rich is clearly having some trouble. I’m not sure he has the strength left at this point!

DT: These fans are trying to rally behind the Ladies Man, giving him the spirit to continue with this match!

Crowd: “LET’S-GO-RICH!! LET’S-GO-RICH!! LET’S-GO-RICH!! LET’S-GO-RICH!! LET’S-GO-RICH!!”

Gomez: SEVEN... EIGHT...

DT: Mahogany rolls OVER the top rope and lands HARD on his shoulder... but he’s pushing himself back up in desperation!

DM: He just might make it!

Gomez: NINE...

DT: Rich pulling himself up with the help of the apron...

...and he’s BACK IN THE RING after slipping under the bottom rope!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: Rezin shakes his head upon hearing the crowd reaction and stoically rises to his feet! Rich Mahogany, meanwhile, has got this crowd on their feet and in his corner! He isn’t giving up on this fight just yet!

DM: Rezin is on his feet, but he hasn’t turned around yet! Something doesn’t seem right there... he’s just waiting for Rich to come at him!

DT: Mahogany back up... bounces off the ropes and CHARGES AT REZIN FROM BEHIND -- WAIT, REZIN CATCHES HIM -- and LAUNCHES HIMSELF into the AIR --

SFX: *SLAMB!!*

Crowd: “OOOHHHH!!!”

DT: THE RESIN HIT!! Rich Mahogany walked RIGHT INTO the goat bastard’s trap!

MN: Quite blindly, too! I almost wonder if Boogie killed some of his brain cells!

DT: Rezin could make the cover right here, but he’s got something else on his mind, sitting the near lifeless Rich Mahogany up! Rezin’s got the body scissors... and he LOCKS IN THE COTTONMOUTH!!

MN: EWW, that is disgusting!! Oh man, it’s going to be MONTHS before the Vaginal Vegan can go down on a woman again!

DT: I’d hate to think of whatever contagious filth is on Rezin’s stained fingers, right now jammed into Rich Mahogany’s mouth and boring a hole into the center of nerves in there!!

DM: Rich has nowhere to go! He’s completely beat, and the only reason I’m sure he’s AWAKE at this point is because of the mind-numbing PAIN jolting through his head!

DT: He’s got no choice! He’s TAPPING OUT!! IT’S OVER!!

SFX: *DING! DING! DING!!*

Crowd: “BOOOO!!!”

[CUE UP: “Master of Alchemy” by Electric Wizard. Rezin continues to hold on with the Cottonmouth after the bell. When Gomez realizes he’s ignoring his demands to break the hold, he grabs onto the victor’s shoulders and tries to pull him off.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match... REZIN!!

DM: The bell has rung, but Rezin seems intent on keeping Rich Mahogany locked into the Cottonmouth!

DT: Come on, now, the match is over! That man has suffered enough!

Crowd: “BOOOOOOO!!!”

[Gomez calls for help, and two more officials run down to the ring to lend their assistance. Finally, with the combined effort of three referees, they manage to pry Rezin off of Rich Mahogany’s back. The two that came in to help hold the sludge fiend off to the far corner while Gomez checks on Rich’s status.]

Crowd: “RE-ZIN-SUCKS!! RE-ZIN-SUCKS!! RE-ZIN-SUCKS!! RE-ZIN-SUCKS!!”

DT: Rezin has completely SNAPPED!!

MN: Well, it’s not like he was very sane to begin with!

DM: This is clearly different, Neels. There’s a lot of anger boiling over in that man right now... and thankfully, the officials intervened before any more damage could be done.

DT: Don’t speak too soon, Dean! Rezin just dropped out of the ring, but only to take a chair from the timekeeper! Rezin taking to the ring again... my God, get out of there!

[Like a violent maniac, Rezin recklessly swings the chair around through the air, and the zebras clear the ring before he can hurt anybody. They try to drag Rich to the outside as well, but the goat bastard cuts them off, leaving the wounded Mahogany at his mercy.]

DT: Rezin is on a COMPLETE RAMPAGE right now! He just chased the officiating crew out of the ring before they could give Rich any assistance!

DM: What does this psychopath WANT?!

MN: I dunno, and I don’t think I’d like to find out! Now he’s going over to that BUCKET he brought along with him!

DT: Oh God, what does this maniac have planned in his twisted mind?!

[Rezin pulls the bucket into the ring and smiles with a dark sense of delight as he pries away at the lid... but stops himself as he sees a handful of husky bodies in “SECURITY” shirts rushing down the rampway.]

DT: Here come members of security to break this up! Rezin takes whatever that filth is in the bucket with him as he slips out of the ring, and disappears over the barricade!

DM: The Escape Artist has escaped yet again... but Lord knows what he has in mind come Unleashed!

MN: I thought we were done with all this Stalker business! Does Dan Ryan have to fill a quota of deranged psychopaths on his roster at all times?! Is it TAX DEDUCTIBLE?!

DT: In any case... looks like the officials are tending back to Rich Mahogany. EMTs are standing by, but fortunately, fans, it looks like they won’t be needed as Mahogany manages to stand on his feet upon exiting to the ringside floor! Aggression continues after these short messages, ladies and gentlemen... we’ll be back!

[The crowd gives a supportive ovation to Rich, who looks hurt, and wipes his mouth as if unable to shake the taste of something foul. Nevertheless, he gives them an acknowledging wave. We fade out to commercial.]
 

DBrunkGXW

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Anarky v. Christian Light, plus New to the Party

[MUSIC UP: “Indestructible” by Disturbed. The crowd pops as Christian Light makes his way towards the ring. Light has on white ring boots and knee pads and blue trunks with “RTD” in white on the sides.]

TF: The following contest is a non-title match scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring from Garden City, New York, weighing in at 271 pounds…CHRISTIAN!! LIGHT!!

[Light hits the ring and throws his arms in the air, the crowd pops. Light takes a few moments running the ropes before waiting on his opponent.]

DT: Christian Light sure hasn’t drawn any easy matches since entering EPW, that violent battle with Boogie Smallz and now tonight getting the Anti-Champion Anarky.

MN: Hey, this is the Empire and you go big or you go home. We’re not here to make people feel good about themselves, we’re here to weed out the wheat from the chaff.

[MUSIC UP: “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie. The crowd boos loudly as Anarky and Rezin make their way to the ring. Anarky in his usual tattered shirt with the Anarchy symbol, black pants and boots. His face in the standard Anarky skull face paint. The EPW TV Title hanging loosely from his waist.]

TF: And his opponent from Hartford, Connecticut weighing in at 221 pounds…He is the EPW World Television ANTI-Champion…AN!!! ARRR!! KEYYYY!!!

[Anarky hits the ring and dismissively flips his belt at the ref. He looks at Light as the two men start to circle and await the bell.]

DT: Both men looking ready for this fight. [Bell rings] and we are underway! Anarky shows no fear at all as he just charges right at the bigger Light and he is just firing away with right hands. Light shoves Anarky to the ground, Anarky pops to his feet and goes right back to throwing punches at Light’s head…Light staggered into the corner and Anarky kicking away at his mid-section and kicks Light until he slumps to the ground, the ref pulling Anarky away from Light.

MN: Welcome to the big time Light, this is going to be a wake-up call for this guy

DT: Anarky drags Light to his feet and whips him to the other corner, Anarky follows him in and BLASTS HIM WITH A CLOTHESLINE! Anarky grabs Light and gets a headlock…RUNNING BULLDOG!! ANARKY WITH A COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DT: Light POWERS out of that cover. Anarky right back on him with stomps, Light to his feet, Anarky grabs Light and whips him to the ropes…LIGHT BLASTS ANARKY WITH A RUNNING FOREARM! Anarky sent crashing to the mat…Light quickly over to Anarky and backs him into a corner…Light LACING INTO ANARKY WITH CHOPS!

DM: This is a big man unloading bombs on Anarky, Anarky’s taking serious damage here!

DT: Anarky sent to the other corner and he staggers out…Light grabs him…EXPLODER SUPLEX! Anarky bails out to the floor after that big move.

MN: Come on Nark, I hate Impulse enough already, I don’t need to deal with the HGH enriched sequel of the goodie two shoes who won’t throw a punch.

DT: Rezin shouting to Anarky to get his head back in the match. Trying to pump up the Anti-Champion as he shakes out the cobwebs on the outside of the ring. Anarky back into the ring, Light charges, misses with a right hand. Anarky gets behind him and drives a forearm into the back of Light’s neck and another shot! Anarky with a kick to the back of the knee drops Light to his knees and a BIG KICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD DROPS LIGHT!

DM: Anarky is just relentless, he’ll attack you at all times from any angle. He’s a violent man.

MN: Finally you’re getting on the Nark bandwagon, about time Dean!

DT: Anarky now stomping away on Light…Anarky off the ropes…DROPS A L:EG ON THE BACK OF LIGHT’S NECK! Anarky rolls him over…THE COVER!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!

DT: Light rolls the shoulder off the mat. Anarky gives him another kick to the chest and now locks in a rear chin lock, cranking on the neck of Christian Light. Light powering to his feet…He’s up, he grabs Anarky…BACK SUPLEX!! BOTH MEN DOWN!

DM: The power of Christian Light has managed to once again even up this contest between these two men.

MN: Bah, he’s getting lucky against a better wrestler, come on Nark, get up and put this chump down!

DT: Both men back to their feet, right hand by Anarky blocked and a chop by Light, another chlock and another chop! Light lacing in those knife edges and staggering the Anti-Champion…Light with a kick to the gut…Off the ropes…RUNNING KNEE LIFT DROPS ANARKY! Light quickly going to the outside…He’s up top…THE BIG MAN GOING AIRBORN!!! LONG WAY DOWN ELBOW RIGHT INTO ANARKY’S CHEST!! THE COVER!!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

TH-NO!!

DT: Anarky kicks out…Light is stunned by the will of the Anti-Champion as this match continues! Light pulls Anarky to his feet…He’s got Anarky back up again…THE MARISSA BUSTER!! A COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!

MN: What the hell did you call that brainbuster?!

DT: It’s the Marissa Buster in honor of one of his kids.

MN: Man, I didn’t think I could hate the man more, he names moves after his kids, ugh, I was hoping Anarky beat him before, now I hope Anarky kills him.

DT: Light back to his feet and he grabs Anarky’s legs…LIGHT LEG LOCK!! CLOVERLEAF IS SUNK IN!! THE ANTI-CHAMPION HOWLING IN PAIN!!

MN: Anarky’s never going to tap, but this could break his back having this beast on his back like this!

DM: Maybe if Anarky comes to that same conclusion as you he might decide to tap out.

DT: Anarky struggling trying to rag himself to the rope, but having nearly 275 pounds on your back makes it really hard to move. Anarky flailing as Rezin is urging him not to tap and to keep fighting…and....Anarky reaches out and manages to grab the bottom rope!! Christian Light lets go of the hold and stands, glaring down at Rezin just glaring up at him.

DM: I wouldn't get too involved with Rezin right now. He's got Anarky on the ropes....

MN: Literally...

DT: ANARKY WITH A LOW BLOW! The ref was distracted trying to make sure nothing happened between Christian Light and Rezin and he didn’t see any of that. Anarky grabs him and he’s got Light set for a Chaos Breaker…CHAOS BREAKER HITS!! LIGHT ROLLS TO THE FLOOR!!

MN: No! Oh what a cowardly cheap move by Light to avoid sure defeat!

DM: Seems like a smart move to me Neely.

MN: It’s smart when people I like do it, it’s cowardly when people I hate do it, and Light’s climbing the charts on the hate list.

DT: Anarky out to the floor now and he grabs Light and slowly muscles the big man back into the ring. Anarky gets him into the ring and now Anarky rushes in and covers him! LEG IS HOOKED!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!

DT: Light kicks out and Anarky is steaming. He had the match won before Light managed to escape out of the ring after that Chaos Breaker. Anarky grabs Light and I think it’s time for Chaos Breaker number two!

MN: And then three and four and up to one hundred, don’t stop till they outline him in chalk!

DT: Anarky trying to get it hooked…Light spins free! Anarky with a clothesline, Light ducks! Both men now running into the ropes…LIGHT WITH A SPEAR!!! LIGHT MAY HAVE KNOCKED ANARKY SENSELESS! THE COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE!!

[Bell rings, Light staggers to his feet and then bails from the ring as Rezin, wielding the TV Title comes charging into the ring.]

TF: Here is your winner…CHRISTIAN!! LIGHT!!

DT: The crowd is going nuts as Christian Light has pulled off one heck of a victory here downing Anarky. I’d have to call this one a bit of an upset to be completely honest.

DM: You can say that again, Anarky’s a former EPW World Champion and about as decorated a wrestler in EPW and Christian Light just made a major statement here with this win!

MN: Oh I’m going to be sick, how did this idiot fluke his way into a victory like this?! Anarky HAD him he HAD this thing won, this is so unfair, I want this result reversed!

DM: I’m sorry Neely but in this case the forces of Light prevailed over the forces of Nark.

MN: And you should be fired for making a statement like that, that was just awful!

DT: I rarely agree with Neely but that was pretty bad Dean. We’ll be back with more –--

[Dave is interrupted as “ZERO” blares over the speakers. Anarky is already through the side curtain, but Christian Light, still in the ring, pauses and looks at the stage.

Moments later, Empire Pro Wrestling owner Dan Ryan steps out and walks down the aisle toward the ring to a loud ovation. Ryan holds up a hand, motioning Light to stay where he is as he climbs inside and the music subsides.]

DAN RYAN: Christian, if you don’t mind, stay right there. I know we have a match in DEFIANCE this week, but relax. I assure you, this is not about that.

[Light puts his hands on his hips and stands near the far ropes, head down slightly as he catches his breath post-match.]

DAN RYAN: First thing’s first. I was back in my office just now, looking at the security monitors, and BOOGIE SMALLZ, GET YOUR ASS TO THE RING!!

[The crowd roars in approval]

DAN RYAN: I know you’re still back there lurking around, Boogie. You’ve had your fun, now GET…. OUT HERE.

[Ryan paces in the ring, Christian Light behind him, staring up at the entrance ramp. After a few moments, BOOGIE SMALLZ very SLOWLY walks out onto the stage, head up, cocky, smirking with a ‘don’t give a shit’ expression on his face.]

DAN RYAN: That’s far enough. You’ve been a busy guy lately, haven’t you, Smallz? Stirring the pot and getting yourself fired wasn’t enough, eh? Me pinning your ass in DEFIANCE wasn’t enough. Now, you’ve decided to start mowing down my workers. Well…. You know, I’m inclined to have you thrown in jail, but to be honest, we’re not the kind of men who hide behind legality, are we, Boogie? The truth is, Adrian Willard, Rich Mahogany, Larry Tact and Teddy Alexander all have a match for the vacant Intercontinental Title on the horizon, and they really don’t need you going around making your statements and screwing things up.

[CUT TO: Smallz, shrugging]

DAN RYAN: Here’s what I’m gonna do, Boogie. In the interest of the time honored tradition of taking your receipt when one is owed, I’m gonna give all of those men the opportunity to handle this business in the ring. Now, life is nothing without risk, so Boogie, you’re in the Intercontinental Title match at Unleashed.

DT: Oh man…

DM: This doesn’t seem like a very good idea.

DAN RYAN: Unfortunately, after the events of tonight, Larry Tact has a severe concussion and now won’t be able to compete at Unleashed. Good for you, right? Well, not so much. I’ve already found a replacement for Larry Tact --- and, taking the fifth spot in the match will be the man who was in the middle of the start of all of this, and who, I’m sure wouldn’t mind taking a shot at you himself. That man is… of course…

CHRISTIAN LIGHT.

[A roar from the crowd and a smile from Christian Light. Boogie looks briefly concerned, but the veil of cockiness comes back over his face.]

DAN RYAN: And then, after you’ve answered for your crimes, then you answer…. to ME.

[Ryan drops the mic and Boogie starts to back away toward the curtain, but just as he gets close, Rich Mahogany comes flying through the curtain with Adrian Willard close behind. They both jump Smallz and begin pounding away as the crowd goes nuts.

Dan Ryan smirks in the ring and Christian Light stands his ground as both Willard and Mahogany continue to pummel Smallz. Boogie manages to slip out and practically sprint through the curtain as the two men pursue.]

DT: Folks, what an interesting turn of events as Boogie Smallz and Christian Light have been added to the Intercontinental Championship match at Unleashed.

MN: Yeah, really fair. Boogie Smallz against four guys who hate his guts.

DM: And who’s fault is that?

MN: Cameron Cruise, probably.

DT: Cameron Cruise?

MN: When in doubt…..

DT: Folks, we’re gonna take a break. We’ll be right back.
 
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DBrunkGXW

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From Boy to... King?

[FADE IN: Former EPW World Heavyweight Champion ROCKO DAYMON sits on a stool in a dark room, wearing only a dark green budget hoodie and black trainers. In his hand he is holding a copy of a certain DVD that’s received a considerable amount of airtime in recent months, and reads off the title.]

ROCKO DAYMON: “Sean ‘Triple X’ Stevens -- From Boy to King”...

[He turns it over to read the back side.]

Rocko Daymon: “Relive the greatest moments in the epic career of the legendary KING of professional wrestling through EPW, CSWA, fWo, and more”...

[He turns the DVD over in his hand again, gazing over it in a few beats of silence as his mind goes back.]

ROCKO DAYMON: I can remember a few of those “great moments” myself. I almost wonder if I can relive them again... watching this DVD. I wonder if it has our first match in Empire Pro, meeting in the first King of the Cage tournament...

[His eyes drift up.]

ROCKO DAYMON: I wonder if it has the clip from that time he cheap-shotted me backstage as I was coming back after a match... all because I had the audacity to drop his name.

[He looks directly into the camera. In his dark eyes, the coals of rage are beginning to glow.]

ROCKO DAYMON: I wonder if this nice little DVD stocking stuffer also covers that one great moment in time where he raped my wife...

[He slowly pulls back the hood to reveal the thickening, lion-like mane of brown hair lining his head.]

ROCKO DAYMON: Or maybe the time he kicked me three stories out of a window and took half a year out of my career... a stint that even I will admit I could never quite recover from. Until now...

[He abruptly gets to his feet. The camera has to readjust its focus, as the operator clearly did not anticipate for this to happen.]

ROCKO DAYMON: In case you need a proper introduction, my name is ROCKO DAYMON. I’m no King. I’m not the Greatest of All Time. I’m not the Best in the World. But my one claim to fame?

[He holds up the DVD and points to the man on the cover.]

ROCKO DAYMON: I’m the sole reason why THIS GUY is a TWO-time champion...

[He tosses the DVD distastefully to the side.]

ROCKO DAYMON: Maybe the rest of the world has forgotten or moved on from this man’s sins... but I can never forget... not when I remind myself of everything that was sacrificed and lost on my behalf. I won’t rest watching this man profit off of the lives he’s destroyed over all these years. I won’t let him revel in the glory of justifying his every transgression.

[Some incoherent words come from off-camera, possibly from the director, but a quick stern gaze from Daymon quickly cuts off any possible interruption.]

ROCKO DAYMON: Whatever may come out of tonight... I WILL return to Empire Pro at Unleashed. And whatever may come in the months that follow... I WILL reclaim the EPW Heavyweight Championship of the World before the end of this year.

[He takes a couple steps forward to fill up the frame and speaks in a voice as bold as the thunder of the gods.]

ROCKO DAYMON: And if this bitch king dares to come off his throne and get in the way of my Path... I WILL break every false notion of a legendary athlete this piece of shit DVD puts into your heads, by humbling him for a second time.

[Daymon steps out of the frame, and the camera pans over in time to see him exiting the sound stage. Confused whispers break an awkward silence as the camera cuts to black.]
 

DBrunkGXW

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Number One Contenders Match For the EPW World Title: Impulse v. Stevens v. Cruise

[FADEIN: Tony Fatora standing in the middle of the ring.]

TF: The following contest is the #1 contenders triple threat match, the first man to score a pinfall or submission will earn a EPW World Title shot at Unleashed! [Pop!]

[MUSIC UP: “Happy Birthday” by the Birthday Massacre. The crowd boos loudly as The First walks towards the ring.]

DT: I have a feeling we’re about to be joined here on commentary.

MN: Then he’s sitting on the other side of this table, I’m not dealing with him, and I really don’t deal with him when he starts crying after Stevens gets the win here!

[The First takes a seat at the broadcast table and we can hear a headset being put on.]

FIRST: So I heard we got a big match going on here, figured I’d see what the fuss is all about.

DT: I guess that is your right as the EPW World Champion.

FIRST: You’re darn right it is. Three guys are about to go to war just to have the honor of getting in the ring with me, I want to see this happen up close and personal.

[MUSIC UP: “Killing In The Name Of” by Rage Against the Machine. The crowd pops as Cameron Cruise makes his way to the ring. Cruise in blue tights with white ring boots with “Cruise” down the right leg in white.]

TF: Making his way to the ring, from Jacksonville, North Carolina weighing in at 263 pounds…CAMERON!!! CRUISE!!

[Cruise walks to the ring, he then circles around and makes his way to the broadcaster’s table and stares at First.]

FIRST: You want another shot at me? Get in the ring and earn it. Get in the ring. [First pointing at the ring.]

DT: We might have a situation right here as Cruise continues to stare down First right here at the broadcast table. Cruise now finally throws up his arms and waves off First and now he’s walking up the steps into the ring.

[MUSIC UP: “Revolution Baby” by Queen V. The crowd gets loud again as Impulse makes his way to the ring. Impulse has on his trademark wrist tape, and heartbeat tights.]

TF: Introducing his opponents…From the Bronx, New York, weighing in at 188 pounds. IMMMMMMM!!! PULSE!!!

[Impulse hits the ring and stretches out on the ropes as he waits for the match to start.]

DT: Impulse has this crowd buzzing as he hits the ring, this is without a doubt the biggest match for the Marathon Man in his EPW Career.

DM: This is his chance to step up and get to the main event, does Impulse it in him.

FIRST: That’s the big question about this guy let’s see if he’s still just living off potential or if he’s got it in him to get a chance to fight me.

[MUSIC UP: “The One” by Good Music ft. Marsha Ambroisius. The crowd pops huge as “Triple X” makes his way through the curtain. He stands at the top of the rampway looking at the crowd who keep cheering big.]

TF: And making his way to the ring, from Orlando, Florida…Weighing in at 243 pounds…”TRIPLE X!!” SEAN!!! STEVENS!!!

[The crowd pops big as Stevens enters the ring. He throws his T-Shirt into the crowd and backs himself into a corner staring at both his opponents.]

DT: There are matches that have a big game feel, and every match with Triple X has that feel, this crowd is beside itself as the EPW Hall of Famer is in the ring waiting for the bell.

DM: Stevens is without a doubt one of the greatest EPW stars of all time, is this the match that propels him into yet another match with the man sitting in with us on commentary.

FIRST: I’m up for round 6 with Triple X, can Trip get there? We’ll find out soon enough.

DT: Before the bell rings Impulse extends his hand to Stevens who shakes it, and now Cruise shakes Impulse’s hand…And Stevens leaves Cruise hanging which I think we all came to expect. [Bell rings] Stevens and Cruise go right at it with a series of right hands from both men. Cruise backs Stevens into the ropes, whips him to the other side. Stevens hangs onto the ropes, Cruise spun around now by Impulse who LACES into him with chops…Stevens over and both men whip Cruise into the ropes…DOUBLE BACK DROP!

DM: You knew that Impulse and Stevens would have a natural alliance in this match, and it’s showing early.

FIRST: Cruise got a raw deal in this match, that much is assured, it will be interesting to see what happens when the Superfriends have to quit picking on Cruise and have to go at each other.

DT: Cruise bails to the outside and it looks like you’re going to get your wish as Stevens and Impulse circle each other. They lock up. Stevens powering Impulse backwards…Impulse slips behind him and gets a hammerlock…Stevens catches him with an elbow to the side of the head and now snap-mares Impulse over to the mat. Stevens sinks in a reverse chin lock and is REALLY leaning on Impulse.

FIRST: You got a guy outweighed by fifty pounds and that guy has had a broken neck, you do this to him all night long. Stevens is going to make the Marathon Man run a marathon here.

DT: Cruise getting to his feet and he’s back up on the apron…KNOCKED DOWN BY STEVENS WITH A RUNNING KNEE!! Impulse getting back to his feet…CLOTHESLINED DOWN BY STEVENS!! Stevens grabs Impulse…SNAP SUPLEX!! COVER BY TRIPLE X!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DT: Impulse powers out. Stevens up quickly and he rocks impulse with a right and another…Impulse whipped into the corner and goes crashing down! Cruise now in the ring and he and Stevens trading shots…Cruise staggers Stevens with a couple of rights and grabs him…WHIPS HIM INTO IMPULSE! THEY CLASHED HEADS! CRUISE ROLLS UP STEVENS!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DT: Oh that was close!

MN: That would have been a crime if Cruise had stolen this match with that move! An absolute crime!

FIRST: When you’re going for the EPW World Title you win, it’s that simple, however you have to do it, you do it.

DT: Cruise now beating down on Stevens…He drags Stevens to his feet…Stevens up…POWER BOMB BY CRUISE!! HE COVERS!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DT: IMPULSE BREAKS IT UP! Impulse grabs Cruise’s leg…HEEL HOOK ON CRUISE! Impulse now ripping on that leg of Cruise…Cruise thrashing and flailing as he’s trying to get to the ropes. Impulse pulling on that leg, trying to tap Cruise out. STEVENS STOMPS HIM! Impulse still hanging on…STEVENS STOMPS HIM AGAIN AND AGAIN AND FINALLY BREAKS THE HOLD!

MN: Keep beating on him Trip, don’t let this boy scout make you soft, just crush this guy and crush Cruise too!

DT: Stevens gets Impulse up…BACK SUPLEX!! Stevens dumps Impulse on the back of his head. Stevens scoops him back up and sends him to the ropes…BELLY TO BELLY THROW! IMPULSE SENT CRASHING TO THE MAT! STEVENS WITH A COVER!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DT: CRUISE BREAKS IT UP! Cruise grabs him and whips him into the ropes…POWERSLAM BY CRUISE! HE COVERS!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

MN: That was to close, keep on fighting Trip! Come on Impulse, help your boy out!

DT: Impulse back to his feet, Cruise bulls him into a corner and he’s throwing punch after punch into Impulse’s ribs. Impulse sent into the corner…Cruise charges…NOBODY HOME! Impulse hammering him with kicks to the gut…Now Cruise sent into the corner…RUNNING KNEE TO THE HEAD BY IMPULSE….Stevens over…Impulse and Stevens double whip Cruise into the other corner…DOUBLE DROPKICK! Cruise back out to the floor. Impulse catches Stevens with a kick to the ribs and another one! Impulse off the ropes…DROPS STEVENS WITH A CLOTHESLINE!

FIRST: Impulse is really upping his game here. He’s really taking it to these guys here.

MN: Ahhh! This is making me sick! Somebody stop this putz!

DT: Cruise trying to get to his feet…Impulse to the apron…SPRING BOARD MOONSAULT OFF THE TOP TO THE FLOOR BY IMPULSE!!

DM: Impulse is going to war here, he’s leaving it all on the line!

MN: Just stop, please stop, I can’t stand the idea of this sissy fighting the idiot at the other end of the table here.

FIRST: I love you too Neely.

DT: impulse and Cruise both down on the floor, I don’t know who got the worst of that impact on the outside…Stevens to his feet…Cruise slowly getting up…STEVENS WITH A TOPE TO THE FLOOR SMASHES CRUISE INTO THE GUARD-RAIL!

FIRST: Wow these two guys are straight up trying to murder Cruise, this is insane, but also really enjoyable, keep it up!

DT: All three men down on the floor…Stevens and Impulse getting to their feet…Stevens grabs impulse…WHIPS HIM INTO THE STEPS! Stevens now grabs Cruise and throws him into the ring…Triple X follows in after him and covers!

ONE!!

TWO!!

TH-NO!!

DT: Stevens pops back to his feet and he grabs Cruise’s legs…He hooks him…SHARPSHOOTER! HE’S GOT CRUISE TURNED OVER!!

MN: Don’t you dare run in you coward! Let Cruise tap and get ready to get beat at Unleashed you little freak!

FIRST: There is no way I’d run in on this match, I interfere and Dan Ryan will throw me in a four way and instead of the two on one Cruise is facing now, I’d be stuck in a three on one…If Cruise taps I got no problem going another time with Trip.

DT: Cruise crawling, dragging himself towards the ropes…STEVENS PULLS HIM BACK TO THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!! Cruise is in a world of hurt! Stevens really leaning back…Impulse back in the ring now…BIG CHOP TO STEVENS! Stevens WON’T LET GO! Impulse just BLASTING Triple X with those chops but Stevens continues to hold on for dear life with that Sharpshooter…HE FINALLY LETS GO! It took about ten of those chops to finally make Stevens relent and try to defend himself. Impulse off the ropes…FLYING FOREARM SENDS STEVENS TO THE FLOOR!!

MN: NO!! Cruise is toast! Run in and stop this you freak!

FIRST: Catch more flies with honey than vinegar Neely.

DT: Impulse sits Cruise up in a corner…Oh my lord he’s going to the other side of the ring, is impulse really going to try to do this?! COAST TO COAST DROPKICK RIGHT IN CRUISE’S FACE!!

MN: GET UP TRIP! GET UP!!

DT: Impulse is down but Cruise is OUT COLD! He hasn’t moved since being hit with that shot…If Impulse can get over and make the cover he’ll win this…Impulse crawling…HE THROWS AN ARM OVER CRUISE’S CHEST!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE!!

DT: NO! NO! PAT JONES WAIVED IT OFF!! AT THE LAST MOMENT STEVENS GRABBED CRUISE’S FOOT AND PUT IT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!!

MN: What a smart move! Triple X always knows where he needs to be, he saved the match for himself and more importantly he saved this company from having Impulse main eventing!

DT: Impulse pops back up and now he backs away from Cruise, I think he’s looking for Sudden Impact…Cruise slowly pulling himself to his feet…Impulse sets up…STEVENS PUSHES CRUISE OUT OF THE WAY! IMPULSE MISSES!! X-FACTOR ON IMPULSE! STEVENS FLATTENED HIM!

DM: But he can’t make the cover cause Cruise is standing right there!

MN: Get rid of him! Win this match!

DT: Stevens charges at Cruise…BACK DROP BY CRUISE SENDS STEVENS FLYING TO THE FLOOR!! CRUISE RUSHES OVER AND DIVES ON IMPULSE!!

MN: NO! NO!!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THRE-NO!!!

DT: Impulse JUST kicked out at the last split second there! Cruise can’t believe it, he’s been hit with just about everything under the sun and he’s still going here. Cruise grabs Impulse and he’s going for the Reality Check here…HE HIT IT!! REALITY CHECK ON IMPULSE!! CRUISE WITH THE COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!

DT: STEVENS BREAKS IT UP! Stevens saves the match and he’s hammering away on Impulse with a violent series of right hands. Impulse sent into the ropes…SPINEBUSTER BY TRIPLE X!!

FIRST: I’ve taken more than my share of those and they SUCK.

DT: Stevens now waiting on Impulse to get to his feet…Impulse back up…Stevens sets…X-FACTOR! NO! IMPULSE DUCKED! IMPULSE WITH A SUDDEN IMPACT!! STEVENS DUCKS!! Stevens grabs Impulse…HE’S GOT HIM UP!! X-TERMINATOR!! HE HIT IT!!

MN: Cruise is up! NO! Dammit! No!

DT: Stevens sees him and waves Cruise towards him as Impulse falls out of the ring. Cruise has taken just about everything and he’s still standing as Stevens now lacing into him with left jabs and HARD kick to the body. Stevens goes for a double leg on the Cruise…HE’S GOT HIM UP…DROPS HIM THROAT FIRST OVER THE TOP ROPE!! STEVENS WITH A COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DT: Stevens right back on Cruise, bashing his head into the mat, and now just punching away on him! Stevens backs him into a corner…BIG CHOP! And a big right hand! Stevens whips him to the other side, no a reversal! Cruise whips Stevens back into the corner they were just fighting in…PAT JONES GETS SMASHED BY STEVENS!! Stevens staggers back from hitting the ref…REALITY CHECK BY CRUISE!!

MN: No ref thank goodness, but he’d have never gotten that move off if he hadn’t thrown Trip into the ref in the first place!

DT: Impulse pulling himself up to the apron now and Cruise sees him and charges…Impulse catches him with a shoulder to the stomach! Another shot! Impulse grabs Cruise…Oh man can he really do this?! IMPULSE SUPLEXES CRUISE TO THE FLOOR!!

FIRST: Cruise is a big dude, for Impulse to get him up had to take a lot of work, he’s grabbing at his back and I’d expect that, it is not easy to move him around at all.

DT: Impulse rolls into the ring and he’s checking on Pat Jones as Stevens is slowly trying to pull himself to his feet via the ropes. This has been a brutal fight between these three men all looking to get the shot at the EPW World Title at Unleashed. Jones is stirring and now Impulse sees Stevens getting up and he walks over, a kick to the gut of Triple X and a BIG CHOP! Stevens chest already red from the beating he took trying to hang onto that Sharpshooter when he had Cruise in trouble…Impulse sends Stevens into the ropes. Stevens with the reversal…BACKDROP! NO! IMPULSE WITH THE SUNSET FLIP! STEVENS FIGHTING!! HE DROPS HIS KNEES ON IMPULSE’S SHOULDERS AND GRABS A LEG!!

ONE!!!

TWO!!!!

THR-NO!!!

DT: OH THAT WAS CLOSE!!

FIRST: Trip didn’t get the other leg and it gave Impulse just enough power to fight out of that pin, both legs hooked its game over.

DT: Cruise pulling himself up onto the apron, Stevens points at him…STEVENS WITH AN X-FACTOR TO THE SKULL SENDS CRUISE TO THE FLOOR!!

MN: Good-bye loser, see you later bub!

DT: Impulse quickly back up…SUDDEN IMPACT! NO! STEVENS SIDESTEPS! HE TRIPS IMPULSE! STEVENS GOING FOR THE SHARPSHOOTER! IMPULSE WITH A ROLL UP!!

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

TH-NO!!

DT: Both men scramble to their feet…DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE AND BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!!

FIRST: This is a fight, this is what I want to see out of these guys if they want to have a shot at me, you got to suffer and struggle to be EPW World Champion, let’s see what you guys really got!

DT: Both men pulling themselves to their feet…Impulse with a chop…Stevens with a right hand…Chop, right hand, a big trade in the middle of the ring…Impulse rocked by a right, he staggers…SUDDEN IMPACT OUT OF NOWHERE!! HE HIT IT FLUSH!!! STEVENS IS DOWN…IMPULSE FALLS INTO THE COVER!!

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

THREE!!!

[Bell rings! Crowd pops as “Revolution Baby!” by Queen V plays. Impulse raises his arms in victory before crumpling to the mat.]

TF: HERE IS YOUR WINNER!!! IMMMMMMMPULSE!!!!

MN: NO!!! NO!!! WHAT THE HELL DID CRUISE JUST DO?!

DT: What are you talking about Neely!?

MN: Get the replay up! Tell production to get us a replay!

[The replay shows the pin, at two and a half Stevens goes to throw his leg onto the bottom rope, but Cruise pushes his leg back so it never gets there and Pat Jones completes the three count.]

FIRST: I tell you what he did, he was stick of being double teamed by these two and being disrespected by Stevens and he made him pay.

MN: NO! No this isn’t right! This friggin’ boy scout just got gifted a win over Triple X and it’s not fair!

DT: Stevens is to his feet and Impulse is looking for a handshake but Stevens is shaking his head no, he’s not happy about how things went down. Now the replay is on the EmpireTron and Impulse can see what Cruise did…Impulse puts his hands on the top of his head, he can’t believe what Cruise just did.

FIRST: Oh cry me a river Impulse, you poor guy who just got a title shot against me. I’m not buying the phony act that he’s sad about this win. I am however very happy that this match was brutal and now has perhaps driven a wedge between these two and I got my boy Teddy Alexander about to come out here now with Sam Turner Jr. and give these two, and Dirk Dickwood’s flunkies, a really vicious beating. Think I’ll leave commentary and go ringside to watch that.

[First gets up from the broadcast table and starts mockingly clapping at Impulse “Good win Impulse, you really earned it!” he yelled at him. Impulse and Stevens glare at First.]

DT: Well this situation has certainly gotten ugly, Impulse is the #1 contender for the EPW World Title, but not without a LOT of controversy, and now he and Sean Stevens are going to have to find a way to somehow get that all behind them and focus because the King of the Cage finals and a chance to win the EPW World Tag Team Titles is next!
 

DBrunkGXW

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MAIN EVENT: KOTC FINAL: Alexander/Turner (cc) v. Impulse/Stevens v. D. Dickwood Pres.

TF: The following contest is set for one fall, and it is the FINAL of the KINGS OF THE CAGE TOURNAMENT!!

In addition, this contest is for the WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS! If anyone other than the champions wins by pinfall or submission, there will be new champions!

[“When The Going Gets Tough” begins to flow through the arena through the PA system to the brief befuddlement and anger of the crowd. Out from the back storms Dirk Dickwood soaking in the crowd's negative energy with a wide smile on his face. He turns around and points to the entrance way as out from the back trots Cecilworth Farthington, bouncing around like he just slammed a Red Bull moments before the match. He is surrounded by his army of similar shirted and red shorted trainers but looming tall above all of them, his tag team partner, Hank.]

DT: From the Lucky Loser’s position, Dirk Dickwood Presents have been on a real tear!

MN: I really like these guys. Really classy, really talented.

DT: Still trying for a job with him, or is this just respect?

MN: Respect. I’ve not seen the like since the Social Club.

[CUE UP: “The One” by GOOD MUSIC ft. Marsha Ambrose. The crowd pops big as the music fills the arena.]

"THE STORM IS ON THE HORIZON ... I'M STANDING HERE ALONE...."

[Marsha sang, as the EMPIRE-tron. …as several images flash starting with an up-close photo of a blue-eyed baby – crawling, playing football, and basketball … things that babies generally do.

"SEE, I'M A MOTHERFUCKING SOLDIER, AND I'MMA BE HERE 'TIL IT'S DONE."

CUT TO: Several more images. The first was an older Sean Stevens, in amateur wrestling gear; in a cap and gown – signifying graduation. The scene then shifted to Sean in the audience, in what looked to be a wrestling arena, before cutting to the final image of Sean, in the middle of a death defying leap from a forty-foot high camera tower, as his foe – below – laid unconscious.

"AND, WHEN THEY ASK YOU WHO I AM, SHIT, YOU JUST TELL 'EM THAT I'M ... THE ONE!"

CUT TO: The very last image. One of "Triple X" Sean Stevens in the center of the ring, being handed a crown, tired, sweaty, yet triumphant.

BOOOOOOOOM!

[Pyro goes off as the crowd gets LOUD as Stevens and Impulse come through the curtain, the two men at a fast walk as they head towards the ring. Impulse in a leather jacket, white tights and ring boots with the green green/heart beat logo, Stevens in his trademark black tights with blue X’s across the legs and seat. “Greatest EPW Superstar” T-Shirt on.]

DT: They survived the Bracket of Death, they’re firm favourites to win the tournament, but after what we saw earlier it could be interesting?

DM: They’re professional and trying to put on a united front, but look at how Stevens is keeping his eye on Impulse?

DT: Impulse is getting a shot at The First and the World Championship thanks to winning that triple threat

MN: With help from Cameron Cruise!

[CUE UP: “CMND/CTRL” by the Deftones. The fans begin to boo as the team of SAM TURNER, JR. and TEDDY ALEXANDER emerge from behind the curtain and pump their fists on the stage. Teddy appears wearing his signature neck brace, while Sam grimaces into the disrespectful crowd from beneath the rim of a John Deere hat. After a moment, they make their approach to the encaged ring. Alexander slaps the title belt around his waist as Sam holds his over his shoulder]

TF: Introducing first, the challengers… They are HANK… and CECIL FARTHINGTON… DIRK… DICKWOOD… PRESENTS!!

In the corner to my right… the other challengers…weighing in at a combined weight of 431 pounds… IMPULSE… and TRIPLE X… SEAN… STEVENS!!

Introducing now, in the corner to my left… they are the REIGNING… and DEFENDING… EMPIRE PRO WRESTLING WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…

TEDDY ALEXANDER! AND SAM… TURNER… JUNIOR!!

DT: Who could have predicted at the start out of all the great teams, these three would be here? Many had First and Cruise or Anarky and Rezin here from the Bracket of Death, and don’t forget teams like V.I.A.G.R.A, The Wolves of the Sea, Dreamstealers and the now former champs Animezing Dragons, any of them could’ve been in this position.

MN: I can’t wait! This is going to be a great match, someone’s neck’s gonna get broken.

DT: MIKE!

MN: It’s a physical match with six physical guys.

DM: I’m having trouble thinking who’s going to win. Impulse and Stevens would be who I’d normally say but after that hellacious triple threat, they’re tired, they’re still breathing heavy.

DT: There’s the bell and the champions are quickest off the blocks, going straight for Impulse and Stevens!

DM: It’s easier to win a triple threat if you can take out one of the other two.

DT: Impulse catches a knee to the midsection from Alexander, Stevens trading right hands with Turner, Hank and Farthington taking it easy, keeping an eye on things, not getting involved until they have to.

DM: Stevens with a thumb to the eye on Turner, Impulse is being choked in the corner.

DT: Stevens pushes Turner into the corner, unloads with some stomps, reverse DDT by Farthington!

DM: No count on the cover, Turner there to prevent it, that was a bit of smart strategy but far, far too early.

MN: Why waste time? Go for the quick win, you never know.

DM: Maybe when you’re not in there with a hall of famer, a hall of fame calibre wrestler and the tag champions.

DT: Stevens shaking out the effects of the reverse DDT, Hank comes in and barrels him into the corner, Turner and Farthington locked up as Alexander hits a backbreaker on Impulse.

MN: Teddy loves hurting people! We saw that last time when he destroyed Otaku!

DT: Hank driving those shoulders hard into the midsection of the former world champ. Farthington with a whip, reversed by Turner, big clothesline! The tag champs so far looking the better in there, but it’s early days and a lot’s going on!

DM: Of course there is! Every match so far has had four men battling it out, now there are six, three pairings, the referee is going to have a huge task if they choose to throw out all the rules.

DT: Farthington almost decapitated with another clothesline, Hank having a tough time with Sean Stevens thanks to a knee to the face, and Alexander with Impulse up – Impulse slips out of what looked like a Burning Hammer attempt and there’s a dropkick against the ropes, drop toe hold and very quickly back with an elbow to the back of the champion.

[Turner presses his advantage against Farthington, tossing the uppercrustman over the top rope and back first into the cage. Meanwhile, Stevens looks to build some momentum and catch his breath at the same time, applying an arm wringer and hammering on the right arm of Hank. Impulse, meanwhile, brings Alexander back to his feet near the corner, slapping him with an open right palm before hooking the head and delivering a vertical suplex. The shaking from the impact alerts Turner, who turns his back on Farthinton and charges Impulse only to be caught out by Stevens who sends Hank in the path of the big man with an Irish whip]

DT: Collision, centre of the ring, Stevens and Impulse with dropkicks take down both men!

DM: Some good teamwork from these two but again, Steven’s giving Impulse a mean look.

DT: Impulse trying to shake that off, leg drop to Alexander.

Kickout at one. Stevens bringing Hank back to his feet and into another arm wringer, clubbing blow to the back.

DM: Farthington taking his time on the outside, I think he can see that he’s not in any danger of losing at the moment, so no need to expend energy.

DT: Alexander being stomped by Impulse, spots Turner but too late! Turner with a scoop and powerslam, spinning away from Teddy and into a cover

DM: Impulse easily kicks out though.

DT: It’s been a fast paced opening couple of minutes, Farthington in to help Hank out grabs Stevens from behind after a boot to the knee, opens him up – Hank with a boot to the midsection.

[The brawler winds up, Farthington still holding the former world champ, and nails Stevens with a thunderous right to the jaw, Stevens hitting the mat hard as the crowd groan from the impact]

MN: New jaw, please.

DT: Turner and Alexander overpowering Impulse, Alexander throws him through the ropes, Turner off the ropes, grabs Impulse on the way back – smashes him into the ring post!!

MN: That’s why they’re the tag champs! Perfect team work!

DM: And on the other side of the ring Stevens has just been dropped onto the cage wall by Hank. I guess that takes care of them?

DT: Alexander and Turner stalking, Farthington turns Hank around and they catch the champs trying the sneak attack!

DM: Right hands flying!

MN: STOP GOING SO DAMN FAST!! I can’t keep up with all this!

DT: Turner and Hank trading stiff shots as Farthington slips out of the corner, hard chop across the chest, ducks a wild shot and unleashes a big forearm to the jaw!

DM: I’m more interested in those two hammering away in the middle of the ring! Neither man budging!

DT: Hank and Turner with rapid fire right hands, right hands, Farthington tries to come in from behind and gets an elbow to the bridge of the nose from Turner, I don’t think he knew what was behind him.

MN: Hank rocked!

DT: Hank swings again, ducked, scooped up – AIRPLANE SPIN!!

DM: But Farthington takes him out by clipping the knee!

DT: Hank almost Samoan dropped but it looks like Turner took the bigger impact. Hank dizzy, staying against the ropes, Farthington stomps on the knee.

[Farthington starts to stretch the knee, twisting it in a standing leg lock as Alexander, still a little dazed, starts to make a move only to be intercepted by Hank – albeit not in a fluid manner, the DDP member still dizzy and stumbling as he forces Alexander and himself through the ropes to the apron near Sean Stevens. Meanwhile, Impulse has managed to recover somewhat and makes his way to the top rope, missed by the camera until he files with a missile dropkick to the back of Farthington. The impact sends Farthington over the top of Turner, hyperextending the larger man’s knee]

MN: I hoped he was dead. The turncoat.

DT: Turner rolling over to the cage clutching the leg and knee, Impulse has Farthington up – back over with a suplex!

ONE!


Two and a kickout.

DM: Hank and Alexander are still going at it on the outside.

DT: Impulse brings Farthington back up to his feet, keeping the offence going, the number one contender wants to win this thing as quickly as he can, inverted atomic drop, changes the position, NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!


And another kickout at two by the DDP member!

DM: He’s tough.

DT: Impulse with a kick to the face as Farthington tries to get back up, Alexander with a right to Hank, misses another one X-FACTOR!! Stevens with an X-Factor

MN: AGAIN!!

DT: X-Factor to Hank!! Triple X takes out both men, Hank ducked and Alexander got taken out, turned round straight into another one! Stevens starting to climb the cage, Impulse with a big DDT to Farthington, sees his partner starting to climb, he’s heading up as well!

DM: We won’t get new world champions but Kings of the Cage sounds just as good with these two!

DT: Stevens nearly at the top, Impulse sees Farthington starting to move – CROSS BODY!!

ONE!!



TWO!!!



Another kickout, Stevens yelling at Impulse to get out of the cage. Impulse moves towards the cage again, Turner grabs him in a chin lock – broken up by Stevens, he was nearly out of the match but came back to protect his partner.

MN: More likely to make sure they won. He doesn’t trust Impulse to get the job done without help.

DT: Stevens with an elbow to Turner, kicks out the leg. Hank making his way back into the ring and straight at Impulse, scoops him up and into the side slam. Stevens drops a knee on the back of Turner’s leg goes for another but the big man rolls away. Stevens jars his elbow straight into the canvas, that had to hurt.

DM: Straight down on the point, too. He wanted to impact and he got it.

DT: Hank has Impulse against the ropes, big knee to the midsection. Irish whip as Turner clotheslines Stevens, FLYING HEADSCISSORS by Impulse! Hank goes down near the corner, Impulse charges in, TAKEN OUT BY ALEXANDER!!

MN: Impressive move from the big man.

DT: Teddy Alexander showing surprising agility from the top rope, big flying clothesline.

[If Alexander was hoping to take Impulse to town, he failed to count on Farthington. The DDP member leaps onto his back, applying a sleeper hold in the middle of the ring as Hank comes in, boots the champion in the midsection and continues to stomp away as Alexander sinks to the mat. Meanwhile, Sam Turner Jr is favouring his leg but is in control of Sean Stevens, smashing his head into the turnbuckle and then the cage wall before hitting a side walk slam. He rises, pumping his fist into the air and turns to call to his partner, but notices him being beaten down by Hank while Farthington chokes him – and the good ol’ boy just can’t be having that! He charges, booting Farthington in the spine and crashes into Hank with a shoulder block. Sam winces a little, turns around as Hank gets back to his feet, and slams the DDP man down with a HUGE scoop slam. Farthington tries to slow him down with a rake to the face, but an Irish whip attempt gets reversed into a short arm clothesline which brings a long two count before Impulse breaks it up]

DT: Impulse with some forearms to the head of Turner, I’m amazed at the pace, the ferociousness you can only get here in Empire Pro.

DM: It’s unique to the Kings of the Cage, too, so many bodies in the ring, all going for the big win, a lot of pride.

MN: This is the big time! Nowhere’s bigger.

DT: This has to be almost a first.

MN: What?

DT: I almost agree with you.

MN: Eww! Stop it, I feel dirty!

DM: Impulse shook with a fist from Turner, that looked like it hit the throat.

DT: Stevens back up, boot to the face of Turner.

[Stevens backs Turner against the ropes, whipping him across the ring and taking him out with a back elbow before dropping a knee to the temple]

DT: ONE!


TWO!!

Shoulder up by Turner there, Farthington and Hank coming in again, Alexander takes Farthington down with a huge lariat and Impulse shakes off that fist to the throat to hit a gorgeous hurricanrana on Hank!

DM: Such high speed so far into the match.

DT: About fifteen minutes in and they’re still going full force, that’s the kind of athletes we have in Empire Pro. Hank slumped against the bottom rope from that hurricanrana, Stevens backs Turner into the corner but a knee from the champion. Teddy Alexander with Farthington on the ring apron, ramming, grinding the face into the unforgiving steel.

MN: Where’s Impulse going?

DT: Impulse climbing the cage, Turner with an Irish whip on Stevens, Stevens stops himself in the corner – X-FACTOR!! X-FACTOR ON TURNER!!

DM: But Alexander saw it, he heard the impact, charges in breaks up the count and he’s got Sean Stevens by the throat, throws him through the ropes into the cage wall and follows him out

DT: SHOOTING STAR!! SHOOTING STAR PRESS BY IMPULSE!!

DM: WHAT…

DT: Impulse took a huge risk, it paid off but he can’t cover, only partly pays off I should say!

MN: Idiot. That’s why he needs help.

DT: Teddy Alexander leaving Stevens on the apron, comes in to the ring – brainbuster on Impulse!!

[CUT TO: A split screen showing the extreme height as Impulse flies from the top of the cage onto a prone Sam Turner with a Shooting Star Press, the impact winding Impulse and leaving Turner motionless]

DT: What a move, but he’s paying the price, he was lucky Hank was nearby to stop the pin attempt.

DM: He could have cost himself and Stevens the Kings of the Cage, but DDP want the win just as badly. Hank with Teddy Alexander up on his shoulders, Samoan drop in the middle of the ring.

DT: Dirk Dickwood slamming his hand into the cage, telling Hank and Farthington to take out Alexander and get out of the ring.

DM: That would be the smart thing.

DT: Hank holding up Alexander, Farthington with three hard stiff chops across the chest, Hank lifts Alexander up – down on the back drop, and Dirk Dickwood Presents start moving towards the door.

DM: Dickwood clapping his hands, Hank moves through the door – Farthington dropped from behind by Stevens! Reverse DDT!

DT: Hank turns around, tries to get up the steps again, Stevens slams the door shut – he’s padlocking it from the inside!!

DM: Sneaky Triple X!

DT: Stevens with Farthington, big slam in the middle of the ring, DDP are down to one man in the match until Hank can get himself back up over the cage! Stevens had a padlock, I don’t want to know where he hid it.

DM: Hank trying to climb the cage, Stevens with that sick look in his eyes we’ve seen before – X-TERMINATOR!!

DT: He spots Turner getting up X-FACTOR!!

DM: Stevens stalking Alexander now, Hank hoisting himself over the top of the cage , starts to climb down… X-FACTOR!! HANK TRIED TO TAKE STEVENS FROM BEHIND!!

DT: Hank taken out with an X-Factor in mid air! He thought he could take Stevens when his attention was turned, but no cigar! Alexander gets the chance though, has Stevens in a waist lock, takes him down.

MN: Stevens almost had it all won on his own!

DT: Teddy Alexander switching to an arm bar, but look where he’s got his right elbow, back of the neck, holding Stevens down.

DM: It’s a good way to immobilise someone.

DT: Stevens trying to shift his position to get back to his feet – saved by Impulse!

DM: He’s still holding his midsection from that shooting star press but that doesn’t stop him stomping on Alexander.

DT: Stevens back up, too. Grabs Alexander, Impulse with an open hand to the jaw, boot to the midsection, Stevens with a vertical suplex.

ONE!!


TWO!!


Kickout by Alexander.

MN: Stevens wants to end this now.

DT: Stalking Alexander… X MISSED!!

DM: Alexander with an innovative back breaker, but Impulse takes him down with a flying forearm before he can go for a cover.

DT: All six men are down, about 20 minutes in.

DM: These matches take a lot out of you, and Stevens and Impulse already had a match! Farthington and Turner are back to their feet, Farthington has Impulse, big release German suplex!

DT: And Turner with a splash on Cecil. The cover, the count, kickout at two.

[Turner, frustrated, slams his hands against the canvas. Hands on hips he sees his partner starting to stir and calls over. The tag champions have the barest of glances and hatch a plan in an instant, Turner grabbing Farthington and throwing him into the corner. He backs into the opposite one, Alexander whipping Turner across the ring into Cecil. As soon as Turner connects with the clothesline he steps out of the way, Alexander hitting a clothesline of his own before stepping to one side and letting Turner hit a splash in the corner]

DT: Big double team offence there, Turner now has Farthington, standing headscissors – UP!

MN: REDNECKBREAKER!!

DT: Powerbomb and neckbreaker!!

MN: Redneckbreaker!

DT: ONE!!




TWO!!!



THRNO!! NO!! Impulse and Hank making the save at the same time there!

DM: And Stevens is trying to escape over the top of the cage, calls over to Impulse.

DT: Impulse tied up with Turner, Hank taking on Teddy Alexander, Stevens shaking his head on the cage.

DM: Alexander and Hank trading big right hands, Impulse with kicks to the legs of Turner – enziguri!! What tremendous impact!

DT: Alexander and Hank taken out by Stevens with a cross body from the cage!

DM: And Impulse has Turner on his knees.

DT: THE MESSAGE!! THE MESSAGE!! IMPULSE HAS THE MESSAGE LOCKED IN!!

DM: That’s a lot of pressure on the back!

MN: How do you even think to apply that?!

DM: Impulse holding Turner’s legs on the canvas with his own, reaching back on the head and stretching the back and ribs and abdomen, this is an innovative move that attacks a lot of the body in one go!

DT: Stevens took out Alexander and Hank, off the ropes – dropkick to Turner!

DM: That breaks the hold!

DT: Impulse is fuming!! Impulse yelling at Stevens that he had this match won.

DM: The Message might well have done it. But Stevens clearly didn’t think so.

[Impulse squares up to Stevens, asking what his problem is, to which Stevens shoves his partner to a huge roar from the crowd! Impulse shoves Stevens back, the tension rising, but before the two can come to blows, Farthington, Alexander, Hank and Turner are in and on the attack, double teaming the bracket of death winners. Two three-ways erupt, Stevens fighting Alexander and Hank as Farthington, Turner and Impulse fight their way into a corner]

DT: Impulse knee to the midsection but Turner with a stiff right to the jaw, Alexander and Stevens and Hank throwing hard shots at each other. Farthington up to the second rope, dives off with an elbow which connects on Impulse! Turner tries to grab Cecil, ducks under, hammerlock, TURNER INTO THE RING POST!!

DM: I think his head might have hit the cage!

DT: Turner slumped over the second rope, Farthington on Impulse – hammerlock slam!

DM: Stevens holding Alexander, Hank with a right hand.

DT: Stevens shoves Alexander into Hank, up to the top rope – missile dropkick takes out Hank!

DM: Alexander gets taken out by a leg lariat from Farthington!

MN: And then there were two!

DT: Stevens and Farthington standing facing each other – collar and elbow!

DM: So late into the match.

DT: Cecil Farthington with a quick knee to the midsection, hooks the leg, can’t connect, Stevens countered with a right to the gut, thumb to the eye, big, big chop.

DM: He was looking for The Worthless but couldn’t hit it.

DT: Stevens, Northern Lights!

ONE!!




TWO!!!


Kickout by Cecil but not convincing.

DM: It doesn’t have to be convincing, it just has to be before three.

DT: Alexander in behind Stevens, hoists him up on his shoulders!

DM: Electric chair position – right hands from Stevens, Impulse in from behind on Alexander takes the knee, Stevens lands on top!

ONE!!

Farthington shoves him off.

DM: Cecil’s breathing heavily, Impulse off the ropes

MN: SHINING WIZARD!!

DT: Farthington’s head just SNAPPED off the canvas!

DM: High impact shining wizard by Impulse!

DT: Stevens meanwhile has Alexander up on the turnbuckle. Goes up, he’s looking for a superplex, signalling for it!

DM: Alexander fighting him off, takes Stevens out with a flying tackle from the second rope.

DT: Hank and Impulse in the corner as well, Turner getting to his feet. Impulse ducks under a right hand, enziguri using the ropes! Impulse has Hank stunned, springboard cross body from the top rope!

DM: Turner dives in! Protecting the shoulder.

DT: Alexander has Stevens, roll up, quick kickout.

DM: Hank groggily back to his feet, Turner and Impulse in the corner.

DT: Alexander whips Stevens into the corner and makes a move toward Impulse, helping out his partner, grabbing the number one contender, drills him in the back with a forearm.

DM: Whip across the ring for Impulse and Alexander charges in.

DT: Hank moves after Stevens, Turner breathing heavy in the corner, Alexander sets Impulse up on the top rope!

DM: Big mistake!

DT: Impulse with boots to the head! Shoves Alexander off, Hank has Stevens up on the top rope as well. Drapes him – no! Stevens blocks what looked like a DDT from the ropes, Hank shoved to the canvas, Stevens back to the ring, X-FACTOR!! Again!!

MN: Someone should ban that move.

DT: Hank would agree!

DM: Impulse has the better of Alexander in the corner, lifts him up. Turner breaks up a pin attempt.

DT: Impulse up, hurricanNO!! Alexander blocks, holding on to Impulse CRADLE PILEDRIVER!! CRADLE PILEDRIVER!! OH MY GOD! TEDDY ALEXANDER WITH A CRADLE PILEDRIVER FROM THE SECOND ROPE!!

MN: Headbutt from Turner on Stevens.

DT: Teddy Alexander is laughing, there’s carnage in the ring! Impulse might have a broken neck!!

MN: Good!

DT: Teddy Alexander making his way up the cage wall, Sam Turner and Sean Stevens slugging it out, this is going to come down to who of those two can get a pin! Teddy making slow progress up the cage, half way up.

DM: Turner on the receiving end of a thumb to the eye.

DT: Sean Stevens goes up the ropes, Turner stops him! Right to the midsection!

MN: Alexander nearly at the top.

DT: Turner quickly up, hooks the head – SUPERPLEX!! SUPERPLEX FROM THE TOP ROPE!!

MN: It’s all over!!

DT: It is soon! Turner crawling towards the cage door!

DM: Alexander pausing to take a look back – he knows it’s over! Starts his way down.

[The crowd seem to stir near the entrance]

DT: Turner tries the door, the cage is padlocked from the inside! Stevens padlocked it earlier!

DM: I don’t think that’s going to matter! Turner’s starting up the cage.

MN: YES! Alexander out of the cage!

DT: Wait a minute… what’s “The Dragon” doing out here?!

MN: Go home, loser!

DT: Teddy Alexander urging his partner to get up the cage wall! Impulse is down, Stevens is down, Farthington and Hank are down! Turner about halfway up over on the rampway side.

MN: Keep climbing, redneckbreaker!

DT: Turner near the top of the cage – BROWN UP THE CAGE WALL AND A KICK TO THE HEAD! OH MY GOD TURNER JUST HIT THE MAT HARD!!

DM: And Brown’s just laying on top of the cage! How on… what on Earth are is he doing out here?!

DT: I don’t know but Teddy Alexander’s furious! He’s made it to the ramp side, shouting at Brown, he’s climbing back up the cage to get at the Dragon!

[Nonchalantly, Brown looks over his shoulder, still lounging on top of the cage from where he landed after vaulting up into a kick on Turner. “The Dragon” keeps an eye on Turner, and after a couple of seconds he nods, standing and looking straight down at the angry champion]

DT: Five men down on the inside, Alexander trying to get up the cage – NO!! NO!! NO!!

Crowd: HO-LY-SHIT!! HO-LY-SHIT!!

DT: ALEXNADER IS DEAD!! ALEXANDER HAS GOT TO BE DEAD!! BROWN… SOMERSAULT POWERBOMB…

DM: WHERE DID THAT TABLE COME FROM?!

[On cue we cut to a SPLIT SCREEN replay. The first shot shows Brown nodding, standing, and launching himself down at a steep angle, grabbing Alexander by the waist before completing a somersault and powerbombing the larger man from the side of the cage about 10 feet through a table

SECOND REPLAY: As Dean asks again where the table came from we see a new angle, from the ringside. As Turner starts to climb, the familiar shape of Otaku slips from under the ring, bring a table with him. He quickly sets it up and gives a thumbs up to his partner and backs away moments before Alexander is sent crashing through the table, Brown landing well and in control]

DT: Otaku with a table from under the ring, Brown with a somersault powerbomb… Stevens is stirring inside the ring, Otaku helping Brown up… what are Animezing Dragons doing?!

DM: Go ask them!

DT: Teddy Alexander has to be in serious trouble, he’s not moving, Brown and Otaku backing up the rampway, they’ve got a guaranteed rematch against the champions.

MN: Maybe they’re trying to make it easy for themselves?

DT: Stevens dragging himself, clawing his way over, drapes the arm over Hank

ONE!!


TWO!!



Shoulder up, and Farthington with the axe handle to the back to make sure.

DM: I really thought the champs had it won but the former champs getting involved like that, after everything these six men have done to each other, after Stevens and Impulse have been through so much tonight.

DT: Farthington has Stevens hooked – THE WORTHLESS!!


ONE!!!





TWO!!!





NO!!! SAM TURNER JUNIOR BROKE IT UP!! A REAL DESPERATION DIVE THERE!
Farthington, Turner slow to get back to their feet, Turner with Farthington, Irish whip, Farthington ducks the clothesline, HANK! GERMAN SUPLEX!!

ONE!!



TWO!!!



TURNER KICKS OUT AGAIN!!

[The crowd go wild as Turner struggles, trying to get to his feet, Hank and Farthington clearly wondering what they have to do. As Turner manages to get to his feet, the two charge with a double clothesline]

DT: Turner breaks it, charges, DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE BY SAM TURNER!

DM: Great guts by this kid.

DT: Big slam on Farthington, throws Hank across the ring to the corner, big splash!!

MN: Red neck!

DT: He’s holding his back, he landed really, really heavily moments ago. He’s hoisting Hank to the top rope – no! Shut down, Farthington from behind as Turner was going for a superplex, powerbomb from the corner!

ONE!



TWO!!



THRENO!! NO!!

MN: Listen to these people!

DT: They’re really getting behind Sam Turner. Farthington screaming at the official that it was a three count!

DM: Dickwood shouting at his guys – looks like he’s got a plan.

DT: No… Boston Crab!! Boston Crab by Farthington! All the damage done to Turner’s back throughout this match, Boston Crab in the middle of the ring!!

Sean Stevens tries to come to his aid but Hank shuts down the former world champ! Drills him with a DDT, and just slams him into the cage wall.

DM: But Turner’s fighting the Boston Crab! He’s pushing himself up! He’s going to

DT: Boot to the face from Hank!!

DM: Hank basically playing the role of watch dog, keeping Turner down, keeping an eye on Stevens – IMPULSE NO!!

DT: Impulse tried an aerial move, springboard cross body but Hank spotted him! Has him, what strength, BRAINBUSTER!!

DM: And listen to Turner growling!

DT: Turner pushing up again!

MN: Boot by Hank!

DT: Hank stomping on the head of Turner – CAMEL CLUTCH!! CAMEL CLUTCH AND A BOSTON CRAB!!

DM: This has got to be it!

DT: Impulse is down, Alexander in a heap on the outside, Stevens down, Turner still fighting, come on kid! Come on!!

NO!! IT’S OVER!! TURNER TAPS!! HE HAD NO CHOICE!! SAM TURNER HAD NO CHOICE!!

[SFX: Bell ringing]

DT: Dirk Dickwood pulled it off!! It took both of them to get the submission, what guts, what determination from Turner!

TF: Ladies and gentlemen… the winners of the match…. aaaaaaannnnddd NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! EMPIRE PRO WRESTLING WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS AND KINGS OF THE CAGE…..



CECIL FARTHINGTON… HANK…. DDDDIIIIIRRRRRRKKKKK… DDDDDDIIIIIIICCCCCCKKKKKKKKWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD… PPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEESSSSSSEEEEEEENNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTS!!!

MN: Yes!

DT: I thought Turner and Alexander had it! Turner was so close to escaping the cage! DDP can thank Karl Brown for that.

DM: I think you’re right, but take nothing away from DDP, and give everything to Sam Turner. He took that onslaught and it was only when he’d been in a double submission for over a minute he had to quit.

DT: The cage is getting lifted, Dickwood in the ring with the belts for his team, Turner’s in the middle of the ring.

[Farthington and Hank celebrate with their manager, showing off the titles before slipping out of the ring to carry on the celebrations on the outside. Impulse and Stevens are down, breathing heavily, Stevens slamming his fist into the apron as the fans get to their feet, cheering and applauding as Sam Turner struggles, clings to the ref, and finally manages to make his way uneasily to his feet, the pain in his back showing clearly in his face]

DT: Folks, what an epic! This match had it all, and these fans know it! Turner and Alexander may have lost the titles but take nothing away, they’re here to stay. For Dean Matthews and Mike Neely, this is Dave Thomas... we'll see you at UNLEASHED!!

[COPYRIGHT]
 

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