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Aggression 70: Phoenix, AZ - 11/28/12

DBrunkGXW

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[FADEIN: The camera panning the crowd as pyro goes off. The camera swings between showing various signs and some hot women in the stands, after a few moments it settles on the broadcast table.]

DT: Hello everyone, Dave Thomas here with Dean Matthews and Mike Neely and we are ready for another night of big time EPW action, the King of the Cage tag team tournament rages on tonight, but that’s not all the action we have.

DM: That’s right, Christian Light has taken up Boogie Smallz open challenge and those two men are going to get into a match tonight that’s bound to get brutal.

DT: And Rich Mahogany and Paladin will square off in a one on one contest as well.

MN: I love Rich, but I worry that he might be trying to curry favor with these fans a bit to much, Paladin on the other hand…Yick…That’s all I can say about him.

DT: Then in one bracket of the King of the Cage, we got Dirk Dickwood Presents, the lucky losers of round 1, going up against the Dreamstealers.

MN: Dickwood’s team got hosed having to fight First and Cruise round one. They get a second shot and I like their odds. I think Dickwood’s hungry for a win tonight.

DT: The winner of that match will face the winner of the Los Luchas Fresca Vs Team VIAGRA match.

DM: Two evenly matched teams there, I think it’s going to be a heck of contest between them tonight.

DT: Then the EPW World Tag Team Titles are on the line as the Animezing Dragons fight the Wolves of the Sea.

MN: What exactly is the Wolf of the sea? Is it like the Chicken of the sea? These guys suck, I hate the Dragons but it’s almost like they drew a bye tonight.

DT: The winner of that match will face the winner of the Teddy Alexander and Sam Turner Jr. Vs Steven Shane and Larry Tact match.

DM: Teddy won his opening round match without help from his partner, now that he’s got somebody in his corner, I like his odds to move on in this tournament, but Tact and Shane are no pushovers.

MN: They are dead meat tonight. D-E-D dead!

DT: And then we have the so called Bracket Of Death…Anarky and Rezin getting in the ring with the massive MJ2 and Aaron Jones.

MN: Aaron Jones will cost MJ2 the match, plain and simple. Sorry the ping-pong balls ruined your shot at a deep run MJ2, but thems the breaks.

DT: And the winner of that match will face the winners of the main event as “Triple X” Sean Stevens and Impulse take on Cameron Cruise and The First.

DM: There has been a lot of talk between these two sides leading up to this match, Impulse even dared The First to put his EPW World Title on the line inside the cage but The First refused.

MN: The only smart thing that idiot has ever done. But he’s getting in the ring with Triple X again and that’s ALWAYS bad times for the little freak, Stevens carries the Boy Scout to victory tonight.

[MUSIC UP: “Happy Birthday” by The Birthday Massacre. The crowd boos LOUD as The First makes his way to the ring.]

DT: And I guess we won’t have to wait till the main event to see the EPW World Champion as The First is making his way out here now.

MN: Lord knows he hasn’t talked enough already.

[The First grabs a mic and stands in the ring. A “You Suck!” chant starts.]

FIRST: Yeah yeah…You all want to hate on me…That’s fine…But I’m tired of talking…Impulse, you want a crack at the EPW World Title, you got it…Let’s do this RIGHT NOW!! [Crowd pops, First takes his custom EPW World Title belt and slings it on the mat.] GET OUT HERE AND FIGHT ME! Come on Impulse…Let’s go! [“IM-PULSE!” Chant. First stalks around the ring looking ready to fight.]

DT: Fans we’re getting word right now that there has been a traffic accident in the area near the arena and that Impulse is stuck in that traffic and is not in the building.

FIRST: See…This man is a coward to his core [Boos!] He only wanted a shot at me when he could get me trapped in a steel cage in a three on one mugging…This is a man who only wanted to STEAL the belt away from me…He wants no part of me in a fair fight!

DM: This is disgusting, impulse would be out here in a heartbeat if he was in the building. The First would never talk this way if he knew his challenge could be answered!

FIRST: Impulse is a disgrace…He won’t stand up to me and he sure as hell won’t ever stand up to management….Hell he’s proud that the folks he worked for aired the film of his girlfriend nearly getting murdered…So let’s put it up on the EmpireTron…Show it! Show everyone Rosie getting her skull broken!

[The EmpireTron stays black for a beat, then MUSIC UP: “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Ashley. This goes on for 15 seconds before the crowd boos loudly and it gets cut off.]

FIRST: Oh you’re not mad that I just Rickrolled over ten thousand people…You’re all mad because you didn’t see a woman suffer a life threatening injury…Impulse won’t stand up to me…He won’t stand up to those who use him to make a buck…And he sure as hell won’t stand up to you blood thirsty parasites who claim to be his fans but you all will delight in him or his loved ones being brutally injuried…

[First steps out of the ring onto the apron facing the hard camera. He reaches into his pants and pulls out a wad of money.]

FIRST: Camera man, zoom in on this…[The camera zooms in to show a pile of small denomination bills all with red liquid on them.] This right here, is Impulse’s blood money…This is what he sells his soul for…It’s what you all want…So I’m going to give you all what you want…I’M GOING TO MAKE IT RAIN BLOOD MONEY!

[First drops his mic and starts throwing the bills into the air, the crowd starts jumping and lunging to grab it, once he’s finishes he picks up his mic again.]

FIRST: Look at them Impulse, there are your fans, a bunch of hypocrites who’ll do anything for money, who’ll sell you out at the drop of a hat…Truth be told…You deserve each other…You can duck me now, but tonight in the main event…There will be no escaping me…Nowhere to run or hide…See you then…

[MUSIC UP: “Happy Birthday” by The Birthday Massacre. The crowd booing as First walks to the back.]

DT: How this man can live with himself Is beyond me, I truly hope he gets what is coming to him when he’s in that cage with Stevens and Impulse tonight.
 

DBrunkGXW

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KOTC: TTE - Round 2: Los Luchas Frescas v. Team Viagra

DT: This next match promises to be full of action. We have the two luchadors in the team of Los Luchas Frescas taking on the veteran tag team of Team Viagra.

MN: I will be honest, when I heard about this match, I threw up in my mouth a little.

DM: The team of Los Luchas Frescas intrigues me. They were able to advance in the first round of the tournament against Stone & Steel Syndicate, who some people thought might actually win the tournament.

MN: I hate Team Viagra. I think they cheated in their first round match against SCARF by switching Dave Barista’s intense robust coffee with some decaffeinated Folgers crystals. There is no way…NO WAY…they could’ve defeated them otherwise. It’s just a travesty that SCARF isn’t in this match now against the Luchas.

DT: Well…regardless of your personal feelings on this, they did lose and now these two teams are looking to advance and win the King of the Cage tag team tournament. Let’s head to the ring with Tony Fatora standing by!

[The song “Any Way You Want It” by Journey plays throughout the arena. The crowd stands to their feet and cheers.]

TF: Approaching the ring, both from Mexico City, Mexico. At a combined weight of 423 pounds. Here are Fishman Deluxe and Mascara De Muerte IV….the team of LOS LUUUCHAASSS FRESSSSSCCCCAAAA!

[The team walks down the ramp and begins circling barrier around the ring, slapping hands with the fans. They enter the cage and begin stretch for the match.]

TF: And their opponents!

[“I Hope You Die” by The Bloodhound Gang cranks on and the fans cheer as the next team steps onto the stage.]

TF: At a combined weight of 480 pounds, here is High Flyer and Tony Davis, the unit known as TEEEAAAMMM VIIIIIIIAAAGGGGGRRRAAAA!

[High Flyer and Tony Davis walk up the ring steps and begin to talk a little strategy before the bell rings, looking across the ring at their opponents.]

[DING! DING! DING!]

DT: The combatants are deciding how to start the match. It looks like Fishman Deluxe and Tony Davis are pairing up and do with a collar and elbow tie-up. Mascara De Muerte IV and High Flyer are now doing the same.

MN: Mascara De Muerte IV…Citizens on Patrol.

DM: What?

MN: Isn’t his name the Spanish homage to the greatest Police Academy sequel ever made? Mahoney’s last stand. No more Mauser. The return of Captain Thaddeus Harris. And lest we forget, Proctor ends up in the Blue Oyster Bar…again! [Laughing.] That gag never gets old.

DT: Well, we’ve seem to have steered far off the path here. Back to the action in the ring and Team Viagra has their opponents backed into the corners on opposite sides of that ring.

DM: Davis releases the tie-up on Fishman and then hauls off with a louad knife-edge chop in the chest.

DT: Flyer has Muerte in the corner and is unleashing a flurry of knees to the midsection.

DM: Davis goes for another chop on Fishman, but he reverses it and throws a hard chop of his own to the chest of Davis! Fishman fires off another shot and Davis is rocked and slumped in the corner.

DT: Mascara De Muerte now backs out of the corner and rushed Davis with a…a…

MN: Flying Asshole!

DT: That’s something you don’t see or say everyday.

MN: Fishman is an openly gay guy...I guess he is trying to get his jollies off here. I don’t know. My only complaint is…he could’ve at least bought Davis dinner first.

DM: High Flyer has been working on Muerte in the corner and just levels him with a vicious European uppercut! Muerte is down and Flyer hops up the ring ropes….TRIPLE JUMP MOONSAULT!

MN: And the molestation of Tony Davis continues on the other side of the ring. I sure hope he used some Nads for his date tonight. The guy used to sell it, I am sure he has a basement full of the stuff. I’m sure Fishman Deluxe would be much obliged.

DT: Folks at home, sorry for the commentary this evening. Neely has really gone off the deep end. I think you need some to seek some help.

DM: Flyer looks over and sees his partner in trouble. He charges at Fishman with a flying forearm!

DT: He helps Davis to his feet. They whip Fishman into the ropes…DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!

DM: Team Viagra now turns their attention to Muerte. Flyer climbs the ropes and Davis lifts Muerte up for a vertical suplex…and is holding him up in the air…Flyer leaps off the top with a high-cross body as Davis drops Muerte to the mat!

DT: Great team work being exhibited here. These men have held multiple tag team titles…they definitely have the experience advantage in this bout.

DM: Flyer now hooks the leg of Muerte.


ONE…


TWO….


NO!


Fishman comes in and makes the save!

DT: He showed up in the nick of time just then.

MN: He should’ve broken up the pin with a Flying Asshole. That move is revolutionary. Cutting edge type stuff we are dealing with. [Snaps his fingers.] Go on, girl!

DM: Team Viagra now turning their attention to Fishman Deluxe. Going to work on him with a few shots to the breadbasket. Davis whips him into the ropes, drops down, and Flyer springs off the second rope with a jaw-jacker elbow!

DT: Flyer now working over Fishman and Davis looking on. Fishman getting to his feet…he tackles Davis! Fishman now licking his finger…what is this about?

MN: WET WILLY TO DAVIS!

DT: Ugh…that will drive a man insane, right there. Fishman Deluxe is an extremely unorthodox style of wrestler.

DM: Davis is livid and goes right after Fishman…who sidesteps him and trips him up! Fishman holding onto the legs…he is applying the CATCH OF THE DAY! His signature inverted Boston Crab maneuver.

DT: Flyer now sees his partner in trouble. He bounces off the ropes…nailing Fishman with a dropkick to break up the hold.

DM: Davis getting to his feet and favoring his legs a bit.

DT: Team Viagra are putting the boots to Fishman. But look at this...Muerte is up and attempting to climb the cage. He is halfway there!

DM: Davis spots it and nudges to Flyer to look. Flyer rushes over to the cage and is trying to pull Muerte off.

DT: Muerte escapes his grasp and climbs up further. He’s almost at the top. Now Flyer climbs up in pursuit.

DM: Davis makes his way over to assist his partner. Muerte now at the top of the cage and Flyer has his leg. Davis scaling the cage now and quickly reaches the top. Davis and Muerte and slugging it out fifteen feet in the air!

MN: They forgot about Fishman Deluxe…he is up and makes his way over to the cage.

DT: Fishman grabs High Flyer’s leg and yanks him off the cage…on his way down he crotches himself on the ropes! Ouch!

DM: Fishman shoves Flyer’s head up against the cage and High Flyer hits the mat and is in some pain.

DT: Deluxe now climbs up and is pulling on Davis. Tony gets distracted and Muerte slaps him across the chest hard with a knife-edge chop!

DM: Fishman is now up to the top of the cage. Fishman and Mascara are double teaming on Davis. Fishman is getting to his feet and using Davis to balance himself on top of the cage.

DT: FISHMAN DELUXE WITH A HURRICANRANA OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE!

DM: On my goodness! Davis just feel into the ring from fifteen feet up!

DT: Deluxe Fishman and Tony Davis are on the ring writhing in pain from that maneuver!

DM: Mascara De Muerte is surveying the situation on the top of the cage. He is climbing down the other side of the cage! HE’S ESCAPING!

DT: High Flyer now up to his feet and sees this going on…there is nothing he can do! Muerte has almost reached the floor.

DM: And now he has reached his destination. Mascara De Muerte is out and now things get interesting.

DT: Indeed they do. Because on one hand, he has helped the team of Los Luchas Frescas get one step closer to victory….on the other hand he has left Fishman Deluxe to fend for himself against Team Viagra. Mascara cannot re-enter the fray. He has to stay on the outside and watch the remainder of the match unfold.

DM: High Flyer looks highly upset at Mascara escaping and turns his attention to Fishman Deluxe…a man who just basically sacrificed himself with that hurricanrana before his partner made the executive decision to reach the floor for his team to win.

DT: Unfortunately for him…both team members must escape to win. Perhaps he wasn’t thinking clearly about what may become of Fishman Deluxe.

DM: Flyer lifts Fishman to his feet and whips him into the ropes…HUGE back body drop!

DT: High Flyer going to the top rope and comes off with a FROG SPLASH!

DM: Tony Davis is now on his feet and wants to get in on the action. Davis now picks Fishman up and slides in with the SHHH~! That reverse Russian legsweep he likes to use.

MN: Now they are just showing off…this is just wrong. Mascara didn’t do his partner any favors with his bestiality in this match.

DT: Bestiality?

MN: Yeah…he really screwed the pooch by getting out of the cage.

DM: Davis is not done, he lifts Fishman up and nails the EQUALIZER on him!

DT: High Flyer now signaling to wrap it up. They coordinate and execute the VIAGRA BOMB! What a devastating maneuver!


ONE…


TWO…


THREE!

DM: It’s all over! Team Viagra advances to the next round and moves one step closer to reaching the end game and winning the King of the Cage!

DT: WOW! What a fantastic display. Who knows what ccould’ve been if Mascara De Muerte would have stayed in the ring. The double-team factor did Los Luchas Frescas in.

MN: Adios amigos!

DM: But folks, don’t go away…we have more Empire Pro action to bring to you…here at Aggression 70!
 

DBrunkGXW

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EPW Films Presents

NARRATOR: Through peaks and valleys, highs and lows, there really has never been another superstar quite like Sean “Triple X” Stevens.

[CUT TO: Triple X standing in the center of the ring, drenched in sweat, foaming at the mouth, microphone in hand.]

TRIPLE X: “I am the Greatest Wrestler on the Planet!”

In this DVD, you will get to witness never before seen footage from his rebellious beginnings.

[CUT TO: Grainy, black and white footage of a young Sean Stevens hopping a wrestling guardrail as a fan, and being trampled by security and police, as other wrestlers ferociously kicked him in the stomach, rib cage, and head while handcuffed, and restrained on the pavement.]

TRIPLE X: “I, uh, I just wanted to be a professional wrestler. Nobody that I knew could tell me how to be one, so I took matters into my own hands, I guess you’d say. …and, I got beat up and arrested for it.”

Through his early struggles in South Carolina.

[CUT TO: “Triple X” XXXstasy tapping out in the center of the ring, holding his shoulder, screaming in agony, as a referee throws up the distress signal, as EMTs make their way down to ringside, and positions Triple X on a stretcher.

CUT TO: Professional Wrestling Manager of Champions, Poison Ivy, seated in a chair, in a dark room.]

IVY McGINNIS: “Am I biased because I married him? Hell no, I hated his guts the first time I saw Triple X. He was arrogant, he was cocky, and he was writing checks with his mouth that his talent couldn't back up.”
[CUT TO: “Total Elimination” Eli Flair, seated in a chair similar to Ivy’s, only bigger, in a room equally as dark.]

ELI FLAIR: “Sean Stevens suffered from small pond complex the first time I saw him, he was the man in his local promotion, and he thought that would translate to a larger scale automatically. It didn't. But I will say this - he wanted to prove to the world that he was as good as he said: he worked hard, and he got there.”

All the way through his stops at legendary territories, competing in promotions like The CWL, the fWo, as you get to witness Stevens’ boyhood dream come true, as he finally got his chance to grace a wrestling ring in Greensboro, North Carolina.

[CUT TO: More grainy footage. Various clips to be exact of Stevens holding various title belts in the air. For legal purposes, the acronyms at the top of the majority of the title belts are blurred out, with the exception of one – the CSWA Presidential Championship.]

TRIPLE X: “As a performer … as a wrestler … If you haven’t competed in Greensboro, for that particular promotion, you really miss out on seeing if you really do have what it takes to be somebody in this industry. Greensboro will humble you very quickly. That’s where I met Dan Ryan. And, the rest, as they say, is history.”

You will get to witness never before heard interviews from some of the most influential wrestlers, managers, and personalities to ever grace a squared circle.

[CUT TO: …]

ELI FLAIR: “Is he the best in the world? You can debate that all day. But if his name ain't up there in the conversation, then man, you ain't payin' attention.”


[CUT TO: …]

IVY McGINNIS: “For the record, he still writes those checks, except for two things.

One, he listened when someone told him what he needed to do to take it to the next level.

Two?

He can back up everything he says.”

As you take this wild journey, as Triple X finally makes his way to Empire Pro Wrestling.

[CUT TO: A still image, of Sean Stevens standing in the center of an EPW ring, crown atop his head. One would assume that this photo was taken around the time that he won the King of The Cage tournament.]

Sean “Triple X” Stevens … from boy to King. DVDs in stores on Christmas Eve. Pre-order your copy now.
 

DBrunkGXW

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KOTC: TTE - Round 2: Dreamstealers v. Dirk Dickwood Presents

[FADEIN: Tony Fatora standing inside the ring with the cage surrounding him. The bell rings after a beat and then MUSIC UP: “Dr. Feelgood” by Motley Cru. The Dreamstealers start making their way to the ring with Jimmy Mylde leading them. They get half way to the ring before Cecilworth J. Farthington and Hank jump them from behind!]

DT: Woah! Dirk Dickwood Presents with a sneak attack on the Dreamstealers as they are making their way to the ring…Hank just picked up Steptoe and dropped him throat first across the railing! Cecil stomping away on the Saturday Night Kid.

MN: That’s how you get ahead in this business, attack without mercy! I love Jimmy Mylde but even he’d admit he’s been one upped by Dirk Dickwood here!

DT: I call this a cheap shot! This is totally out of line and you know it Neely!

MN: I do? This looks great to me, put the boots to them!

DT: Hank and Cecil now dragging the Dreamstealers to the ring and they throw them through the door and into the ring…The ref holding them back from continuing the beatdown, Mylde yelling at his men to stay down and to try to recover, but Steptoe and the Kid both are getting to their feet {bell rings.] Cecil and Hank all over the Dreamstealers who really should have listened to Jimmy Mylde and bought some time there.

DM: For all the bluster and hype Jimmy Mylde has put out about the Dreamstealers they are a couple of young men new to the sport and I think their desire to prove themselves just caught up with them in a big way.

MN: You can say that again, they are getting smashed!

DT: Hank SLAMS Steptoe to the mat, and now he grabs The Kid and SLAMS him…Cecil off the ropes…DRIVES A KNEE TO STEPTOE’S HEAD! A COVER!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DT: Steptoe throws a shoulder up and now he’s getting stomped on by both Hank and Cecil…The Saturday Night Kid back to his feet…CATCHES HANK WITH A DROPKICK! ONE FOR CECIL! Kid trying to start a rally here for the Dreamstealers…Hank sent to the ropes…BACK ELBOW DROPS HIM! A COVER BY THE KID!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DM: The Dreamstealers trying to fight their way back into this match after that vicious pre match attack by Dirk Dickwood’s team.

MN: If they can pull this off I’d have all the respect in the world for them, but I don’t see it happening.

DT: Steptoe back to his feet and he catches Cecil with a right hand, and now he’s got him…SUPLEX! Snapped him over, Kid working over Hank in the corner now Steptoe grabs Cecil and backs him into a corner…HANK AND CECIL WHIPPED TOGETHER! They go crashing to the mat! The Dreamstealers going to the outside, both going up top!

DM: What a turn of events this has been, the Dreamstealers now in total control of this match.

MN: Maybe Jimmy Mylde really does have something on his hands here.

DT: DOUBLE SPLASH OFF THE TOP!! THEY BOTH MISS!!

MN: Then again…Maybe not…

DT: Both men down and Hank and Cecil getting to their feet…Dirk Dickwood SCREAMING at his men to flee the cage…They look at the fallen Dreamstealers and decide this is a good idea….Both men climbing…Hank over quickly and he’s already on his way down…HE’S OUT!

DM: This is the second match in a row that Hank has made it out of the cage. Problem is that last time Cecilworth wasn’t able to get out there with him.

DT: Kid chasing Cecil and now trying to hold onto him as he’s over the cage and on the way down but now The Kid has him by the arm and is hanging on…Hank over, Dirk now yelling at Cecil to let go of the cage…Steptoe coming over, now Cecil does let go! Kid hanging onto that arm can he keep Cecil in the air?! NO!! CECIL DROPS AND CRASHES INTO HANK AND DICKWOOD!

MN: His feet touch! They win!

[Bell rings. MUSIC UP: “Going gets tough” by Billy Ocean.]

TF: Here are your winners via escaping the cage, CECILWORTH J. FARTHINGTON and HANK! DIRK DICKWOOD PRESENTS!

DT: That tangled mass of bodies might not look like winners but they are, Dirk Dickwood and his charges are moving on in King of the Cage. We’ll find out who they’ll meet in the bracket finals later tonight.
 

DBrunkGXW

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Boogie Smallz Open Challenge

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, this is a special attraction match, the Boogie Smallz Open Challenge!

[“Black Superman” by Above The Law cranks out through the arena’s PA system. Boogie Smallz emerges onto the stage in his regular ring attire, black wife beater and black jeans. He turns his head to the left and to the right, surveying the crowd.

He walks down the ramp and spots the camera in front of him. Smallz does the breaking in half hand motion and gives an intimidating look into the camera. Finally shoving the cameraman out of his way. Boogie walks up the steel steps and Tony Fatora begins to introduce him.]

TF: From Brooklyn, New York…tipping the scales at 300 pounds and standing at 6 feet 9 inches…here is BOOOOGIIIEE SSSSSMMMAAAAAAAAAALLLLZZZZ!

DM: There he is fans, after returning to the scene at Black Dawn, he doesn’t appear to have missed a step from a long layoff in this sport.

MN: Boogie is running on all cylinders. The man has been a wrecking ball of destruction since coming off the Ultratitle tournament.

DT: Well as all of you know, this very well could be his final match in Empire Pro. We learned upon his return that he was still under contract and this is the final match in his commitment.

DM: And the word is, is that the negotiations with Dan Ryan broke off last week. Our backstage insiders believe that something may be able to get worked out, as early as tonight. But since both sides haven’t met in several days, I am not sure it’s possible.

MN: Dan Ryan would be an idiot to let this guy walk away. I haven’t seen anyone rip ish up like Boogie has as of late. The man is a beast! Whatever he is asking for, Ryan needs to cough it up. It’s not like Empire Pro is hurting financially. At least, I hope that’s not the case.

DT: On the flipside of that, Dan Ryan may decide that having Boogie on the roster isn’t worth the headache he will cause him. The two of them do not see eye to eye and there seems to be a riff of sorts between the two. Ryan hasn’t said much, but you never know.

MN: Actions speak louder than words. With no action from Ryan, it may spell the end for Mr. Smallz. Swallow your pride, Danny Boy. Don’t let this goldmine walk away and bring in big bucks for another company. The thought of that is just ludicrous.

DM: It looks like Boogie is asking for the mic, let’s listen in to what he has to say.

[Boogie grabs the microphone from a stagehand and his music fades out. The crowd begins to boo him before he even speaks. Smallz shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders. He lifts the microphone up to his mouth and begins to speak.]

BOOGIE SMALLZ: What a warm round of applause. You guys really know how to make a guy feel welcomed. [Fans boo.] Hey…at least I haven’t come out here and trashed the city of Phoenix. It wouldn’t be too hard. [More boos.] But enough of this panderin’ to all you haterz. I got something on my mind.

I don’t know what to tell you all. I issued an open challenge to at least ten people and I only heard from one. ONE! And now word is that he didn’t even show up to the building tonight. All I can say is…this is typical.

I mean, Christian Light could’ve got the bright idea to, I don’t know…maybe bring in his tag partner or a few more of his Defiance buddies to give him the advantage. A smart man would’ve done this, the parameters for this match were pretty flexible in that regard, but maybe we’re not dealin’ with a smart man.

Truth be told, this is just sad. I had such high hopes for this match. We got a lot of hype. People all over were talkin’ about this match-up. And in a cowardly fashion, Christian Light doesn’t even bother to show. This only continues the long line of disappointments his career has become outside of Defiance.

[The crowd begins to cheer and Boogie nods with approval. But its not for his comments, it’s for his opponent, Christian Light, who makes his way through the crowd out of Boogie’s sight. He hops the barricade and slides under the ropes as Boogie Smallz continues his rant, not realizing Light is behind him.]

BOOGIE SMALLZ: I should’ve known better. I should’ve realized from his track record that this match wasn’t gonna happen. The man has no balls, he is a pathetic representative of Defiance, let alone any other company. He doesn’t belong in an Empire Pro ring and I was gonna make an example out of him. I was gonna....WHAT THE FU…[Drops the mic.]

[Light taps Boogie on the shoulder, he turns around, and his jaw drops.]

DT: It’s CHRISTIAN LIGHT! Christian Light just came through the crowd and Boogie Smallz is beside himself.

DM: Light hits him with a few hard knife-edge chops, kicks Boogie in the gut, bounces off the ropes and drills him with a knee lift.

DT: Smallz gets back to his feet and Light bounces off the ropes with a lariat! He sends Smallz back down to the mat. Boogie with the wherewithal to realize where he is at, he rolls out of the ring to compose himself.

[The bell rings to start the match.]

DM: The referee is now putting starting the ten count on Boogie and he looks pissed!

MN: How come the ref didn’t start the ten count on Christian Light? Light should’ve technically been counted out for this match. I demand he stop this bout and automatically award the victory to Boogie. This is a travesty!

DM: Well, the referee never signaled for the bell to ring before Light showed up, so if you want to speak about technicalities, the match never started while Boogie was on his little verbal tirade.

MN: This just goes to show you the incompetence of the officiating in this match. Dan Ryan should do the right thing and order that a new referee be appointed!

DT: I doubt that is going to happen.

DM: Smallz slams the mat in frustration and hops onto the ring apron. He orders the ref to back Light up so he can enter the ring. Smallz steps in between the ropes and enters the ring.

DT: Christian giving him a chance to step into the ring. The two men circling the mat and lockup in a collar-elbow tie up. The two behemoths are muscling one another trying to gain the advantage.

DM: Boogie looks to have gained the edge and forces Light into the corner. The ref calls for a break, but before he lets up…Boogie with a hard slap across the face of Christian Light!

DT: Light’s eyes are bugging out, he is enraged! He charges at Boogie and spears him down to the mat! Light belting out forearm shots to Boogie.

MN: That just seems unnatural. Why not use your fists and get better distance between you and your opponent. I think Light is taking this hero gig of his too close to the heart. I mean, even Batman or Captain America will throw a punch. I just don’t get it.

DM: We’ve seen a lot of wrestlers take a hard-line stance on not throwing punches and they have succeeded in this business. It’s hard to argue the philosophy.

MN: Whatever. This just looks awkward.

DT: Boogie reversing the position and now he is on top of Christian with a succession of lefts and rights to the head. And now Light reverses and comes down HARD with and elbow smash to the head.

DM: Light to his feet and Boogie seems a bit groggy, that elbow appears to have been very effective.

DT: Smallz getting to his feet and Light is waiting in the wings to pounce.

DM: Light rushing towards Boogie for a little momentum…and a quickly executed swinging neck breaker!

DT: Light now lifting Boogie to his feet. SNAP SUPLEX!

MN: I realize that Light is a big man and is probably used to throwing around much lighter opponents, but it looks like he can do the same things to bigger opponents as well. Time will tell if this strategy will tire him out later in the match. When you are in there with Boogie…he’s gotta conserve his energy. It’s gonna come back to bite him.

DM: We are still relatively early in this match, so your theory may hold some weight.

MN: Holding weight…much like you have lately! Ease up on the cheeseburgers, tubby.

DT: Smallz now getting to his feet and searching for Light, who is right behind him.

MN: Turn around, Boogie.

DM: Light locks around Boogie’s waist…BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX! He goes for the cover, hooks the leg…


ONE…


TWO…


NO!


Boogie quickly kicks out of that predicament.

MN: Who does Christian think he is in the ring with to go for a cover on that? For a goodie-two-shoes, he certainly seems arrogant to me.

DM: If anyone would know…it would be you.

MN: HEY! I’m not that arrogant…I’m confident. There is a difference. A thin line there. I think I walk on that tight rope very well, thank you.

DT: Light lifting Boogie to his feet, he whips him into the ropes…CLOTHESLINE!

DM: NO! Boogie ducks it! He bounces off the ropes and comes off with a shoulder block to Christian!

DT: They’re both taking a breather.

DM: Light and Boogie are now both getting to their feet. They try to lockup and Boogie rakes the eyes!

DT: Light is temporarily blinded and Boogie locks his hands behind the head of Light in a clinch position and is peppering him with knees to the midsection and face!

MN: Boogie has rocked Light, he is down on one knee! Boogie rears back and hits him with a huge knee shot to the dome!

DT: Light is on his back and Smallz is hanging on the rope, trying to regain his breath.

DM: But he doesn’t take a long break. Smallz hits the ropes and nails Christian with a senton splash! OH MY!

DT: He goes right to work, lifting Light to his feet. Boogie has him in a front face lock and wraps the arm around his neck…is it a suplex?

DM: NO…it’s a BRAINBUSTER! And Light hits the canvas hard with his noggin!

MN: SHANIQUA BUSTER! I was waiting to see if he was going to use that. He studied Christian Light before this match. What Light calls The Marissa Buster…Boogie is calling the Shaniqua Buster! He is trying to get some psychological advantage with it…or maybe just mocking him. Either way…works for me.

DT: Smallz adding insult to injury with that move. Using Light’s own repertoire against him.

MN: He’s got another one too. An elevated powerbomb. Light calls his the Joey Bomb, Boogie told me that if he uses it…he is calling it the RayRay Bomb. I don’t make this stuff up, people. Boogie really wants to rub it in this guy’s face.

DM: Smallz is now calling for the cage that is suspended over the ring to be lowered. I don’t think that is going to happen.

MN: Boogie is a hardcore dude. He goes back years ago in the Age of Extreme…so it makes sense that he would want that, as he would see it as an advantage.

DM: But it could backfire on him as well.

DT: It doesn’t matter because it won’t happen.

DM: Boogie is giving up on his campaign for the cage to drop and walks over to Light. Smallz reaches down to lift him to his feet and Light catches him in a SMALL PACKAGE!


ONE…


TWO…


NO! Boogie powers out and Light now getting to his feet.


DT: Smallz now to his feet as well. They are trading blows. Light with knife-edge chops and Boogie with some haymakers.

DM: Light with rapid shots appears to be gaining the advantage. Boogie now in the corner and Light with a knee to the midsection. Light has Smallz in a headlock…he runs out of the corner with a RUNNING BULLDOG!

DT: Smallz crashes face-first onto the mat and Light on his feet. Christian grabs Boogie’s legs…he’s setting him up for the LIGHT LEG LOCK. Boogie is trying to block it, but Christian is able to flip him over and slap on that elevated Texas Cloverleaf.

DM: He cinches it in and Boogie looks to be in a lot of pain!

DT: Smallz reaching for the ropes, but he’s a few feet away.

DM: Boogie trying to power out, but it’s not working. He is crawling to the ropes, trying to get a break.

DT: Almost there, but Light is doing his best to prevent it.

DM: Smallz grabs the ropes and the referee is forcing Light to relinquish the hold. Huge break for Boogie right there.

DT: Light isn’t letting up. He goes back to work on Boogie, lifting him to his feet and nailing him with a few forearm shots.

DM: Light whips him into the ropes, but Boogie latches on. Christian now charges at Boogie with a clothesline! Both men go OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR!

MN: Boogie may be down, but this is where he is extremely effective. He likes to use the surroundings out there as weapons.

DT: If the cage would’ve come down at Boogie’s request, earlier, then the outside would’ve been neutralized.

DM: Both men getting to their feet. Light climbing onto the apron, but Boogie pulls him back to the floor. Boogie with a right hand, but Light blocks it and retaliates with a knife-edge chop!

DT: Boogie drops to the floor and in the process, grabs Light’s tights in the front, the momentum sends him face-first into the Spanish announce table!

MN: Quiero Taco Bell! Have we checked those guys for their papers? A green card perhaps? I think Dan Ryan is using cheap labor and it has me fearing for my job. You guys worried we might be replaced? I need to set a reminder to tip off INS. Maybe we can get a surprise inspection or something.

DM: Will you stop?

MN: Well at least we haven’t had our jobs outsourced to India. Try calling the cable company nowadays…it’s so annoying.

DT: The comments of Mike Neely do not reflect those of EPW.

MN: I’m a loose cannon…what can I say? I’m just speaking on behalf of all Americans. You know ALL OF YOU out there are thinking it. I am the voice of the people!

DM: Let’s get back to the match. Boogie lifting Light to his feet and smashes his head across the announce table.

DT: The referee had started the ten count, but he is letting this go.

DM: Boogie grabs Light by the back of the head and drives it into the ring post!

DT: Light is busted open and Boogie is jawing with a fan at ringside holding a Christian Light sign. Smallz now turning his attention back to Christian. He lifts him to his feet and whips him into the guardrail! NO! Light counters and Boogie crashes into it instead!

DM: That took a lot out of Light. Boogie is wincing in pain from the shot.

DT: The referee is now on the floor checking on both individuals.

DM: Light getting to his feet and is tired of playing this game with Boogie on the outside, so he rolls under the bottom rope back into the ring and takes a breather.

DT: Smallz now getting to his feet. The referee returns to the ring and begins to lay on the ten count.

MN: Oh….NOW he does it. This guy has a grudge against Boogie for some reason.

DM: Smallz males his ways to the ring apron and Light is there to meet him. He hooks him and SUPLEXES BOOGIE BACK INTO THE RING!

DT: Light wastes no time on taking Boogie to task! He’s setting him up for the JOEY BOMB!

MN: WHOA! What’s next in his arsenal, the BLOSSOM BOMB? Don’t know about the future…that’s anybody’s guess…

DM: All 90’s sitcom jokes aside…Light is trying to power through…and he has him in position. He just hoisted Boogie up! Smallz has a look of concern on his face.

DT: Light trying to get Boogie elevated up, but Smallz is trying to wiggle out and get free.

DM: It’s not working! Light said he was gonna put him nine feet in the air and does!

DT: JOEY BOMB! OH MY GOODNESS!

DM: That rocked the ring and Smallz is grimacing in pain. Light going for the cover!


ONE…


TWO…


THR….NO!


Boogie just barely kicks out!

DT: Light points to the top rope and the crowd cheers him on. He is climbing up to the top…LONG WAY DOWN! His signature elbow drop off the top rope!

DM: Boogie is in bad shape here and Light immediately goes for the pin!


ONE…


TWO…


NO! Boogie was able to get his foot on the bottom rope.

DT: Light complaining to the ref about the speed of the count.

MN: This is just awful. I hate to see my boy catchin’ a beat down, son. This is wiggidy whack!

DM: Boogie is sucking up wind, flat on his back, and in a daze.

DT: I don’t think Boogie has faced a competitor one on one with this much power in a long time.

DM: Christian Light appears a little perturbed, but appears to not let it bother him too much. He starts stomping on Boogie and the crowd loves it.

DT: Light is fired up and is feeding of the energy of this capacity crowd! He is giving the signal for the gorilla press, than can mean only one thing. The patented Realizing The Dream maneuver.

DM: Light lifts Smallz up to his feet and is able to hoist him up in a body slam position. He then transition to the top of his head.

DT: Boogie is regaining his senses and is trying to wiggle out of position…but it’s not working.

DM: Boogie reaching into his pants pocket…what’s he doing?

DT: LIGHT LIFTS HIM UP OVER HIS HEAD! WAIT! BOOGIE JUST THREW SOMETHING IN HIS FACE!

DM: It looks like salt! Boogie just tossed salt into Light’s eyes! Light drops him to the mat without connecting with the implant DDT portion of his move.

MN: Boogie is sending a message. You can’t toss salt in his game and not expect him to toss that salt in your face! Brilliant! It’s like a metaphor or something.

DT: Or something for sure. The sad part is, I think the ref missed it because he was out of position. This is horrible.

DM: Light leaning on the ropes, rubbing his eyes. Boogie is now getting to his feet, shaking off the cobwebs. Light is blinded!

MN: I would start singing Manfred Mann’s “Blinded By The Light” but it’s Light that is blinded. Wrapped up like a douche, a Nutter Butter in the night.

DT: Those aren’t the words, you nimrod.

MN: Really? You mean I’ve been singing it wrong all these years? Damn you commonly misheard lyrics, damn you! You made an ass out of me again!

DM: Smallz is creeping up behind Christian. ROARING ELBOW TO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD! Light is staggering and Boogie climbs outside the ring. He is looking for something under the ring. He has something…what is it?

DT: Boogie quickly puts it in his pants under his shirt, I don’t have a clue what it is. A now he grabs a chair from ringside!

MN: I think he is going to be a sportsman and offer Christian Light a seat to get his wits about him. That’s an honorable move by Boogie.

DM: Smallz slides under the ropes with a chair, he rears back to deliver a shot to Light…but the referee yanks it from him!

MN: He was just going to unfold it, that’s how they do it in Brooklyn.

DT: The referee turns around with the chair and hands it to a ringside attendant. While this is going on, Boogie pulls that object out of his pants.

DM: HE HAS A HAMMER! One of the crew members must have left it lying around under the ring. He cocks back and OH MY! Smallz just clobbered Light over the head with it!

DM: Light drops like a ton of bricks and Boogie is measuring him. OH NO! He delivered a fistdrop on Light with that hammer! This is getting out of hand!

DM: Boogie now sitting Light up…he is using the claw of the hammer to further open the wound Light suffered earlier in the match. This is horrendous!

DT: The referee is waving his arms to the timekeeper, he is calling this match off! He’s throwing it out!

DM: Boogie continues to grind that claw of the hammer into Light’s forehead and blood is streaming down his face!

DT: The referee is trying to pull Boogie away and does so…only for Smallz to shove him down!

DM: Boogie lifts Light to his feet, he stands in front of him with his back towards him. He lifts him up in the crucifix position and FACE THE MUSIC! The face-first crucifix powerbomb!

DT: Light is out of it and Boogie continues to add insult to injury by bashing him with the hammer clinched in his fists. Can we get some help out here?

DM: Boogie Smallz seems to have snapped and has a maniacal look on his face. I’ve NEVER seen him like this before! He is a man possessed!

MN: This is what I am talking about. Boogie is no longer that carefree blunt smoking sensible guy. He is showing that killer instinct it takes to be a champion and is using Christian Light as a forum to deliver his message! I LOVE IT!

DT: This is crossing the line! Here comes EPW security to pull him off of Light. Boogie shoves them off and stands over Christian Light. He’s holding that hammer above his head and releases it. The hammer falls into the pool of blood that Light produced and security circles around Light to protect him.

DM: Boogie gives an evil smirk and exits the ring. He holds up his arms in victory and the crowd is livid.

MN: Boogie dusts off his shoulder and walks up the ramp. Get that dirt off your shoulders, homeboy. These fans is hatin’, yo.

DT: We are being told that the official ruling on this match is a No Contest.

DM: It’s a shame. Boogie really crossed the line tonight and this could be his last match here. What a despicable way to end your Empire Pro career.

MN: He wanted to go out like a gangsta…I think he did. He ain’t fakin’ the funk, that’s for sure.

DT: We have some paramedics coming out to check on Christian Light. Please, whoever is in the production truck…go to commercial.

[The camera starts to pan the arena pre-fadeout when “ZERO” by Smashing Pumpkins hits the speakers.]

DM: DOH!

[Boogie Smallz stops near the entrance, freezing where he stands as EPW owner Dan Ryan steps out right in front of him.]

DT: Dan Ryan is here and he’s face to face with Boogie Smallz!!

MN: He’s out here to congratulate him, I’m bettin’!

DM: Not likely.

[Ryan walks near Smallz and teases a confrontation, then steps past him and walks toward the ring. Smallz stays in place, glaring at the owner as he gets to ringside. Ryan pauses near Christian Light and talks to the medical personnel attending to him. After a few words, they head up the ramp with Light in tow, on his feet but clearly in bad shape. Smallz only glances at him as he passes, then looks back sideways at Dan Ryan, who has by now climbed into the ring.]

DM: I think Boogie really thought he could make a scene like this and just walk out of here.

DT: He’s got guts, I’ll say that.

MN: What good will it do us if he gets himself killed?

DT: I don’t know, Leia. Go ask your father on Alderaan and let us know, would you?

MN: Ass.

[Ryan gestures for a microphone and gets one.]

DAN RYAN: Are you finished, Smallz? Have you done enough damage? Did you get the bloodshed you wanted before leaving? You know, I should’ve expected…

[During this, Boogie gets irritated and goes to the side of the ramp, shoves a crew member and takes a microphone from a stand set up for crowd noise.]

SMALLZ: SHUT IT, RYAN!

[SFX: OHHHHHH]

SMALLZ: My contract is up! You don’t like it? Suck a fat one, BOSS.

[SFX: OHHHHH #2]

RYAN: [smirking] Oh good. Dick jokes. You know, it’s funny, because what I was really coming out here for was to announce the plans to determine the next Intercontinental Champion, and I had you in mind to be a part of it.

[Smallz stops dead in his tracks.]

RYAN: Only problem is you don’t have a contract.

[Smallz turns around and stares at Ryan intently]

RYAN: There are two more shows before Unleashed after tonight. At Unleashed, the EPW Intercontinental Title Match will be decided in a five-way dance between Teddy Alexander, Rich Mahogany, Adrian Willard, Larry Tact…. and if you’re interested…. BOOGIE SMALLZ.

[The crowd reaction is mixed, but loud]

DT: What the hell?? After what we just saw from Boogie Smallz tonight, Dan Ryan is offering him a new contract?? And a title shot to boot?

MN: I knew he’d RECOGNIZE!

DM: Maybe he hit his head on the way out…

[Smallz hesitates and looks around at the crowd before letting a smile slowly creep across his face, nodding.]

SMALLZ: You know what? I didn’t think you had it in you. Best news I’ve heard all day. Send the papers over and it’s a done deal, BOSS.

[Smallz smirks and turns to walk through the curtain. But before he does….]

RYAN: Oh wait… Boogie, I forgot one little thing…. [Boogie pauses and looks back] …You can have the match and I’ll go ahead and send those papers over….

[Ryan pauses]

RYAN: WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER. FUCK YOU GETTING A NEW CONTRACT, FUCK YOU GETTING A TITLE SHOT, AND FUCK YOU. AND BECAUSE I HAVE A ‘FOUR FUCK MINIMUM’…… GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY RING!!!!

[The crowd erupts]

DM: Ohhhhhhh my God…

MN: I… but…. He just…. He can’t….

[Boogie Smallz SEETHES on the ramp as a good 15-20 security personnel come pouring out of the back and get between Boogie Smallz and the ring. Smallz looks around and considers trying to break through to get to Ryan, but finally thinks better of it. A look of twisted anger takes over his face and he nods his head at Ryan, smiles and swagger-walks through the curtain, tossing one final glance over his shoulder, smiling at Ryan as he goes.]

DT: Well, that was…. Wow. I don’t even know what to say.

DM: I do. Dan Ryan just toyed with Boogie Smallz and then, for the second time this year, had a disgruntled employee removed from the building. The old Dan Ryan is back, I think. No more Mr. Nice Guy.

MN: He was nice at some point?? Was I sleeping?

DM: Probably.

DT: Alright. Well, while we recover down here, we’ll take a quick break and be right back!
 

DBrunkGXW

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Rich Mahogany v. Paladin

[CUE UP: “Won’t Back Down” by Eminem and Pink. The large figure of PALADIN makes his way down the ramp as the crowd cheers. A serious look on his face, PALADIN enters the ring in earnest, posing on each turnbuckle for the crowd.]

DT: Welcome back, folks, as we have another exciting matchup here at Aggression 70! Entering now is a man who had a truly impressive EPW debut at Black Dawn, the man known as Paladin!

DM: An impressive debut to be sure, but you have to wonder how he’ll respond to what happened at Aggression 69. He was slated to be a participant in our King of the Cage tournament, but Dan Ryan made the executive decision to remove him from the tournament!

MN: Sure, there was Black Dawn, but what has the kid done for us lately? I don’t blame Ryan one bit.

DT: That’s certainly one opinion, as tonight he faces a man who made a statement of his own at our last show!

[CUE UP: “Love Man” by Otis Redding. RICH MAHOGANY makes his way down the ramp with an intense look in his eyes, perhaps a bit surprised to hear the cheers from the crowd.]

DT: Former King of the Cage competitor, he was hung out to dry by his teammate. Have you ever seen Mahogany look as intense as when he hit the Sex Plex on Pete Whealdon?

DM: Absolutely not, and the crowd seems really behind Rich tonight! They want to see more of that fire!

MN: I don’t understand why you’re both talking up this guy – the Dreamstealers showed him how winning is done, and nothing can change that!

DT: The referee signals for the bell, and we’re off!

SFX: *DING-DING*

DT: Rich Mahogany and Paladin staring each other down, exchanging a few words. I hope our audience can’t read lips, because Mahogany is…well…

DM: He’s referring to things that are illegal in most states, Dave.

DT: Too true. Paladin perhaps a bit rattled, and Mahogany quickly begins throwing right hands! Irish whip into the corner, Mahogany follows it up with a big time clothesline in the corner!

DM: He’s STILL talking out there!

MN: He’s wasting his breath.

DT: Mahogany going for another Irish Whip, countered by Paladin. Paladin pulls him forward, MISSES with a wild forearm. Mahogany lifts Paladin – BIG belly-to-back suplex from Mahogany! Going for the cover here, AND! No, kick out at two.

DM: If I’m hearing him correctly, Rich is now graphically detailing the things he plans to do with Paladin’s…maidens? Is that right?

MN: What I don’t understand is why the crowd is cheering so hard for this clown. Look at him, gyrating his hips over Codine Jr. Nuts.

DM: Regardless, it seems like Mahogany has ALL the momentum in this matchup. Paladin can’t seem to get in much offense at all. Maybe Paladin should have spec’d Retribution.

MN: …

DT: …

DM: …what?

MN: Nerd.

DT: …back on track, boys. Mahogany has Paladin to his feet now. More right hands from the more experienced Mahogany, Paladin countering with a stiff back elbow. Paladin grabs Mahogany, whips him into the ropes. Going for that back body drop – NO! Mahogany read it PERFECTLY, hitting a facebuster straight on the knee! Paladin is down once again! Here’s the cover –

One!

Two!

No, Paladin powers out once more. Mahogany wasting no time here, going straight for the eye rake. Referee motions to Mahogany as Paladin stumbles around the ring.

DM: He’s STILL talking! Mahogany is just – wow. I’m out of words.

MN: About time.

DT: Mahogany needs to turn around here, as OUCH – Paladin with a quick neckbreaker to Mahogany while his back was turned! Paladin hooks both legs, trying to steal one here!

One!

Two!

Th-NO! Mahogany caught by surprise but able to power out!

DM: Uh oh, Mahogany looks FURIOUS. The last time I saw that look was when he gave it to Whealdon!

DT: They’re both on their feet, face to face, as Mahogany burns a hole through Paladin’s forehead with that stare! This is getting tense! Paladin throws a right hand – quickly blocked by Mahogany, and – WOW! The Sex Plex! That was one of the fastest reversals I’ve ever SEEN! Mahogany bridges for the win here!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

SFX: *DING-DING-DING*

DT: Rich Mahogany just OBLITERATED Paladin with that Sex Plex! He still has that fire in his eyes as his hand is raised in victory!

DM: Well earned. I think we’ve seen the start of a new Rich Mahogany in EPW, and that ought to scare more than a few people in the locker room!

MN: Everyone except the Dreamstealers, you mean.

DT: We’ll be back with more after this!
 

DBrunkGXW

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The King

[FADEIN: Scene opened up with EPW Hall of Famer, superstar, and first and only female World Heavyweight Champion, Lindsay Troy seated on a stool inside of a dark room, reflecting.]

[The audience in attendance blows the roof off of the arena.]

LINDSAY TROY: I've had a lot of thorns in my side over the years, but Trip's got to be one of the biggest. Considering how long I've been in and around the business, you can imagine how lengthy that list is. He's doggedly persistent, self-righteous, every bit a smarmy d-bag. It's what people love and hate the most about him.

[CUT TO: A clip of Sean “Triple X” Stevens grabbing Lindsay Troy, mid match, as they both stood on the outside of the ring, and forcefully kisses her, as the audience booed, only to do a complete one eighty, once Stevens began jumping around foolishly, arms flailing, as Troy bit down on his tongue.]

NARRATOR: Sean “Triple X” Stevens returned to wrestling, opting to join Empire Pro Wrestling in 2006.

[CUT TO: Several different newspaper clippings, from various news sources. The headlines were simple, yet brutally honest.

“Wasted potential”

“The Self Destruction of XXXstasy”

“Failure”

“Physically superior, mentally inferior”

“Doesn’t have what it takes to be World Champion”]

TRIPLE X: I remember that meeting with Dan Ryan like yesterday. Dan was an old rival, turned friend. I wasn’t sure I wanted to come to Empire Pro Wrestling because I didn’t want to tarnish our friendship, knowing my problems with authority figures. Dan looked me dead in my eye and said: “I have no problems Humility Bombing you if you get too far out of line.” That was all I needed to hear. [Stevens laughed.]

NARRATOR: Witness some of the greatest matches in EPW history, as we relive Stevens’ history making two year long second title reign.

TRIPLE X: My plan upon coming back was to win a World Title to shut my critics up, and prove something to myself. I was going to retire the moment I lost it, but the first one ended too fast, and the second wouldn’t end fast enough. Next thing I knew, I had made this name for myself. For the first time in my career, I became The Guy.

[CUT TO: Highlights from Stevens’ very first EPW match, eliminating 30 superstars in route to winning number one contendership in a battle royal.]

NARRATOR: In depth interviews … Never before seen footage, and commentary.

TRIPLE X: Never in my wildest dreams did I expect it to get as big as it got.

NARRATOR: Sean “Triple X” Stevens – From Boy to King. DVDs in stores on Christmas Eve. Pre-order your copy now.
 

DBrunkGXW

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Messages
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KOTC: TTE - Round 2 - Teddy Alexander/Sam Turner, Jr. v. Larry Tact/Steven Shane

[FADEIN: The entrance way “CMND/CTROL” by The Deftones playing as the crowd is jeering Teddy Alexander and Sam Turner Jr. as they make their way to the ring.]

TF: The following contest is a King of the Cage second round match set for one fall…Making their way to the ring at a total combined weight of 512 pounds…SAM TURNER JR AND TEDDY ALEXANDER!

[Teddy gets to ringside and gets into an argument with the refs about the neckbrace he is wearing, after a heated discussion he takes the brace off and spikes it on the ground, the two men hit the ring.]

DT: Two men who were left without partners now have been put together as a team to continue on in the King of the Cage tournament, and it’s very possible the winner of this match could be fighting for the EPW World Tag Team Titles in the next round.

MN: It will be these two…Teddy Alexander pretty much ended the careers of Point of View by himself, give him a partner like Turner and we’re talking about a machine of a tag team. Tact and Shane might not last five minutes!

[MUSIC UP: “Pieces” by Hoobastank. The crowd pops as Larry Tact and Steven Shane make their way to the ring.]

TF: And their opponents…Weighing in at 507 pounds…LARRY TACT AND STEVEN SHANE!

DT: Shane doesn’t look too thrilled with Tact as the two men are making their way to ring. They will need to get themselves all squared away if they want to have a shot in this match.

DM: You got that right Dave, Turner and Teddy are a handful and it’s going to take two men working together to get the job done. Shane needs to get his head in the game here.

MN: Oh sure, blame Shane for worrying about Tact…Larry’s been a little to happy-go-lucky if you ask me…I’m not sure Shane is believing Tact’s focused enough for this match!

DT: That’s crazy talk Neely and you know it.

[Bell rings.]

The cage door locked shut and Alexander and Tact pair off and Shane and Turner fighting each other and it is a SLUGFEST as all four men are throwing punches with all they got! Teddy getting the better of Tact and Shane drops Turner…Now those two men turn towards each other…Teddy and Shane trading punches…Alexander with a knee to the gut…A right hand rocks Shane backwards…Tact back up…CATCHES TEDDY WITH A DROPKICK! SHANE DROPS HIM WITH A CLOTHESLINE! COVER BY SHANE!

ONE!

TWO!!

NO!

DM: Tact got that dropkick in and really turned the tide of the fight in Shane’s favor..

DT: TURNER FLOORS TACT WITH A CLOTHESLINE! Turner now punching away at Tact while Shane backs into a corner…He doesn’t seem like he’s too eager to help his partner after Tact just helped him!

MN: He sees Tact’s game here…Tact’s just trying to sucker him in and then lower the boom on him!

DT: Where do you come up with this stuff Neely? Honestly, I wish I knew how your mind worked so I could do everything I could to prevent it from happening to me.

MN: You never heard of the long con?

DT: Shane now slowly over and grabs Turner by the hair…Turner SENT INTO THE CAGE! Shane now lifts him up…SLAMS him to the canvas. Alexander now back up, Tact and Shane with a double team landing punches to the face and gut of the big man…Teddy sent to the ropes…DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE DROPS HIM! SHANE WITH A COVER!

ONE!

TWO!

NO!

DM: Good team work by Shane and Tact that time…Hopefully Shane’s figured out that he’s only going to win this match by working with Larry Tact instead of being skeptical of him.

DT: Tact and Turner now trading punches…Tact staggering Turner with punches…Tact off the ropes…CLOTHESLINE…NO! TURNER DUCKED!! TACT HIT SHANE!!

MN: SEE!! I TOLD YOU! Tact set him up and just clocked him with a cheap shot!

DM: That was an accident and you know it Neely!

MN: Oh now you can read my mind and tell I’m lying…You should be on that Mentalist TV show with your super human mind powers.

DT: Tact looks horrified over what just happened, and now he’s being mugged by a double team by Teddy and Turner! Both men punching away at Tact and they knock him down and now he’s having the boots put him him…Shane slowly gets to his knees…He looks over and sees the beating Tact is suffering and he just slumped back to the mat! He’s faking that he’s still hurt!

MN: Oh now you can read his mind! You have no idea the damage of a Larry Tact Clothesline, double so when he catches you when you don’t expect it like Shane didn’t!

DT: Tact now picked up and Turner and Alexander grab him…LAUNCH HIM INTO THE CAGE! Tact crumples to the mat in a heap…Shane laying face down on the apron pretending to still be hurt , this is a disgrace, Shane is leaving Tact to take a beating here…Alexander and Turner send Tact into the ropes…HIGH ELEVATION FLAPJACK! TACT SPIKED INTO THE MAT!

DM: Tact is completely out of it and he’s in the ring with two men without mercy, he might well be wearing Teddy’s neck brace by the time this is over.

MN: Hey, Steven Shane might already need a neck brace after what Tact did to him, he’s still down! The ref might want to stop this match to get him some medical attention!

DT: Ignoring Neely here as Turner gives a quick cut throat signal and he gets Tact to his feet…Teddy helps lift him up…POWER BOMB BY TURNER!! A COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE!!

[Bell rings. MUSIC UP: “A Country Boy Can Survive” by Hank Williams Jr. Crowd booing the result mostly over Shane’s antics.]

TF: Here are your winners…TEDDY ALEXANDER AND SAM TURNER JR!

DT: Sam Turner Jr. and Teddy Alexander have put themselves in prime position for a shot at the EPW World Tag Team Titles pending the result of the champions match later tonight, one only wishes this had been a two on two contest and not been tainted by Steven Shane’s foolishness.

MN: Steven Shane might need surgery after that clothesline by Tact, his career could be at risk and you two act like he’s some sort of monster…Larry Tact is the monster and he got what was coming to him!

DT: While Neely loses his mind all the more, we’ll try to keep the ship going in the right direction and bring you more action next!
 

DBrunkGXW

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Subtly Waltzing Matilda

[Backstage, after his match, TEDDY ALEXANDER is exhausted but there is a wry smile on his face. He's advanced further in this King of Cage tournament and finally he had a partner on the same page as him. He'd grown tired of taking two steps backwards just to take one step forward but he was getting farther forward than most had anticipated and he'd notched another victory over Larry Tact. He was becoming the thorn in the veteran's side.]

[Snatching a bottle of water off a table as he passes by he's interrupted by a voice...]

OFF-SCREEN: "TEDDY! Wait up!"

[Stopping in his tracks, twisting the cap off the bottle and taking a pull as he turned around. He near chokes as he sees the beauty waltzing up to him. It's MATILDA, the intern from his childhood he'd reunited with at Aggression 69 in San Diego. He runs his forearm over his mouth and smoothes his hair a little. He's still glistening with sweat from the match which just ensued.]

MATILDA: "Hey you."

TEDDY: (coyly) "Hey... uh... you. How's... stuff?"

[MATILDA chuckles at TEDDY's poor interaction and puts a hand on his chest.]

MATILDA: "You did great out there. I just wanted to come up and tell you. You're so... so..."

TEDDY: "Violent?"

[She flashes a cheeky grin.]

MATILDA: "I was going to say strong, actually."

[Cheeks quickly reddening, TEDDY gushes and makes strange noises in response.]

MATILDA: "So... a bunch of us we're going to hit a bar after the show."

TEDDY: "Oh cool. That sounds like fun. I hope you have a good time."

[Staring at him unsure, MATILDA folds her arms and strains from the laughter building inside her.]

MATILDA: "Seriously? You're making me do this?"

TEDDY: "What?"

MATILDA: "You're making me ask you out?"

TEDDY: "That was asking me out?"

MATILDA: "It was subtle."

TEDDY: "I don't do subtle. In case you didn't see me out there."

[She chuckles and rubs his bicep.]

MATILDA: "Oh, I was watching. I was watching very closely."

[More reddening cheeks.]

MATILDA: "So... you're coming for a drink then?"

TEDDY: "Oh. I don't drink."

MATILDA: "That's not the point, Teddy."

[He stares at her again and it seems as if something has gone off in his head and he finally gets it.]

TEDDY: "OH! Right! Okay, I'm with you now. Sure. I'll be there."

MATILDA: "Great. I'll see you there."

TEDDY: "I'll see you there!"

[And with that, MATILDA blows TEDDY a kiss and heads off back down the hall to join the rest of the interns leaving TEDDY staring after her.]

DM: "Could it be? The Philadelphian Nightmare has a crush?"

DT: "We might have found the thing that soothes the savage beast that is Teddy Alexander."

MN: "Now I've seen it all."
 

DBrunkGXW

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KOTC: TTE - Round 2 - MJ2/Aaron Jones v. Anarky (c)/Rezin

[MUSIC UP: “Best Of The Best” by KU. The crowd has a mixed reaction as Malcolm Joseph-Jones power walks to the ring with a scowl on his face. Behind him a sheepish looking Aaron Jones is following.]

TF: The following contest is set for ONE FALL and is a second round match in the EPW King of the Cage tournament, introducing first at a total combined weight of 429 pounds…MALCOLM JOSEPH-JONES!!! AND AARON JONES!!

[MJ2 ignores his partner completely as he hits the ring and readies himself for the fight with Anarky and Rezin.]

DT: MJ2 looks all business for this match tonight.

MN: Well I’d look that way to if I had two maniacs stepping into a steel cage with me and my only back up was a guy who’s not fit to be a wrestler.

DM: Aaron Jones has made some strides in the ring Neely.

MN: Anarky is a former World Champion and one of the toughest men to ever enter the ring, and Rezin is a nut, a complete barking mad nut who pushed Sean Stevens to the limit and holds a win over The First. Aaron Jones is not in the same ballpark as them, hell he’s not in the same zip code.

[MUSIC UP: “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie. The crowd booing loudly as Anarky and Rezin make their way to the ring. Anarky with the TV Title hanging loosely from his waist has a slow pace to his walk. Rezin at his slide with a sick grin on his face looking thrilled at the prospect of the match.]

TF: Their opponents, weighing in at a total combined weight of 460 pounds…REZIN!! The EPW World Television ANTI-Champion ANARKY!

DM: Throwing these two into a steel cage is a sure way to end up with a bloody and violent match. Anarky and Rezin want to destroy EPW and I am sure that tonight they are more than up for destroying MJ2 and Aaron Jones.

MN: They’ll fight the big man till they get to the little guy and once they get to the little guy this thing is OVER.

[The refs lock the cage door and the bell rings.]

DT: MJ2 tells Jones to stay in his corner…The big man walks out to meet Anarky and Rezin and he’s trading blows with both of them, but the two on one gets the better of him and MJ2 is dropped to one knee…Aaron Jones come rushing out of the corner with a dropkick on Anarky! Anarky staggers, ANOTHER dropkick staggers Anarky some more…A THIRD DROPKICK DROPS ANARKY! MJ2 BLASTS REZIN WITH A CLOTHESLINE!

DM: Team Jones with the early momentum here!

MN: I’m sure that will last…

DT: MJ2 grabs Anarky and THROWS HIM INTO THE CAGE…Anarky staggers…SCHOOLBOY BY JONES!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DT: Anarky just LAUNCHED Jones off him with that kick out! MJ2 beating the hell out of Rezin in the corner as Aaron Jones races outside the ring and gets up top…JONES WITH A CROSS BODY! ANARKY CATCHES HIM! MJ2 CLIPS ANARKY’S LEG! JONES FALLS ON TOP!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DT: Anarky again throws Aaron Jones off him and now he goes right at MJ2 and the two men are trading HARD right hands.

DM: Anarky might be giving up a ton of size here but he sure as hell backs down from nobody, he’s going right ahead at MJ2 and taking the fight to the newcomer.

MN: I have all the respect in the world for Anarky but seriously man, just thumb the giant in the eye and get to work on the gimp! Don’t attack the strength of the team, go for their weakness!

DT: Rezin out of the corner and he catches MJ2 with a clothesline to the back of the head…Now both men with a double team…MJ2 LIFTED UP…DOUBLE SUPLEX!!! Aaron Jones charges at Rezin…Catches him with a running forearm that staggers him…Anarky’s got Jones by the wrist!

MN: Oh it’s over now!

DT: Anarky pulls Jones in…SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE! JONES DUCKS!! Jones sprints away from Anarky and gets to the ropes..He’s climbing the cage! Jones quickly scampering up the cage trying to escape!

DM: Back in his ‘Escape Artist’ days this was Rezin’s strong point…Aaron Jones seems to be stealing a page out of his playbook.

MN: Catch him! He must be destroyed!

DT: Anarky giving chase as Rezin and MJ2 pair off and are trading shots…Jones over the top of the cage as Anarky now reaches over and grabs him…Jones struggling…Rezin catches MJ2 with a series of right hands…Rezin off the ropes…GETS CAUGHT AND HOT SHOTTED BY MJ2!! Rezin just dropped throat first on the top rope! MJ2 now climbing over as Anarky keeps trying to pull Aaron Jones back into the ring…MJ2 grabs Anarky’s legs…HE’S LIFTING HIM…OH NO!!! OH NO!!!!

MN: I’m outta here!

[The broadcasters all run for cover as Aaron Jones and MJ2 manage to lift Anarky and throw him over the top of the cage and send him crashing into the broadcast table!]

DT: We need help! Get the EMT’s!

[“Holy Shit!” chants, in the ring Aaron Jones and MJ2 are a little stunned by the impact of what happened and while they look at the fallen Anarky, Rezin hits the top rope, making MJ2 fall and crotch himself on the top rope!]

DT: We…We got a match to call here while Anarky’s been just flat out DESTROYED here at ringside…Rezin’s not giving up and he’s now beating down the fallen MJ2…Aaron Jones now climbing the cage and trying to get back into the ring…Rezin climbs up to meet him…HE’S GOT JONES AND SLAMS HIM OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE TO THE MAT!! REZIN WITH A COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!

NO!!

DT: MJ2 breaks it up! Rezin and MJ2 now going at it while EMT’s are rushing to ringside with a stretcher for Anarky…MJ2 backs Rezin into a corner and sends him to the other side…MJ2 charges…NOBODY HOME!...Rezin measure him…DEMASCUS HEEL! He just knocked MJ2 senseless! REZIN WITH A COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!

DT: Aaron Jones with a diving last second break of the pin!

MN: Maybe you shouldn’t have done that little man!

DT: Oh man…Aaron Jones now trapped one on one with Rezin…Rezin with a wide smile as he stalks Jones who’s trying to circle…Rezin catches him with a right hand, and another! Jones in big trouble as Rezin doubles him over with a kick to the gut…BRUTAL UPPER CUT DROPS JONES!

MN: This is what I said was going to happen the whole time! I told you Jones was gonna get caught and once he did it was a done deal….

DT: Rezin really seems to be enjoying this and now he’s waiting for Jones to get back up…COTTONMOUTH! HE’S GOT IT LOCKED IN! JONES IS FLAILING! MJ2 staggering to his feet…Rezin sees him coming…THROWS JONES INTO MJ2! They crash together…MJ 2 staggers…RESINOUS MIST! MJ2 staggering around blind as Rezin grabs Aaron Jones…DDT! REZIN WITH A COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!

DT: JONES KICKED OUT!! He got NAILED by that DDT but he managed to find a way to get the shoulder off the mat before the three count.

MN: That’s the first and last move Aaron Jones will ever kick out of. That had to take all his energy to manage to get out of it. Hit him again Rezin! Hit him again and finish this!

DT: Rezin waiting on Aaron Jones and now MJ2 getting to his feet. Rezin turns and hammers away on MJ2 with right hands…MJ2 sent to the corner….He staggers out…REZIN WITH A BULLDOG!! A COVER!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DT: AARON JONES WITH THE SAVE!

MN: This isn’t fair, Rezin’s fighting one and a half guys in there! MJ2 should throw himself off the top of the cage and eliminate himself to make this a fair fight!

DT: While you’re saying that Anarky’s being stretchered to the back…What a horrible fall he took in this match…Rezin back to his feet and BLASTS Aaron Jones with a forearm! Jones slumps into a corner as MJ2 gets to his feet…Rezin with a couple of chops to the big man…Rezin off the ropes and a CLOTHESLINE drops MJ2…Rezin quickly to the top rope…DARKSIDE OF THE MOONSAULT!! HE CRUSHED MJ2 WITH IT! A COVER!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DT: MJ2 EXPLODES out of that pin attempt…The big man getting to his feet and he looks PISSED!

DM: It seems like all that moonsault did was wake him up!

DT: Rezin’s been fighting two guys this whole match, and now one of them is having a roid rage fit, this is unfair, he should file a protest!

DT: Rezin circling the enrage MJ2…He’s trying to keep his distance…AARON JONES WITH A SCHOOLBOY!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

NO!!

DT: Rezin pops to his feet…GETS BLASTED BY A BIG BOOT FROM MJ2! MJ2 now backs Rezin into a corner and now just UNLOADING ON HIM with vicious rights and lefts to the body! MJ2 grabs Rezin…TOSSES HIM ACROSS THE RING!!

MN: Really, Aaron Jones is about to make it to the finals of the bracket of death, really?! This is happening?!

DT: What’s going on at the entrance way?! ANARKY’S FIGHTING OFF THE EMT’S! He’s ripping off that neck brace! Anarky’s heading back to the ring…I can’t believe this!

MN: You’ll have to kill this man to stop him…He’s completely insane…

DT: Anarky now CLIMBING THE CAGE trying to get back into this match…MJ2 grabs Rezin…HE’S GOT HIM UP…JONES GRABS REZIN’S HEAD! POWER BOMB NECKBREAKER COMBO!!IS THIS IT?!

ONE!!

TWO!!!

THR-NO!!

DT: HOW DID REZIN KICK OUT?!

DM: Rezin dug down deep to kick out of that, he got DRILLED by that move…Rezin’s had to carry this match for his team and he’s put up a hell of a fight…

DT: Anarky’s over the top of the cage…ANARKY JUMPS AND SMASHES AARON JONES WITH A DOUBLE AX HANDLE! MJ rushes over…Anarky gouges him in the eye! Anarky DRIVES MJ2 into the steel! Mj2 drops to his knees as Anarky now grabs Jones…CHAOS BREAKER!! JUST SNAPPED THAT OFF PERFECTLY!! A COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE!!

[Bell rings. MUSIC UP: “More Human Than Human” By White Zombie as the crowd buzzes.]

TF: The winners of this contest…The EPW WORLD TV ANTI-CHAMPION ANARKY…AND REZIN!!!

DT: These guys are double tough…For Anarky to even be walking after what happened to him is incredible and Rezin fought two men and never backed down for a moment…Whoever wins the main event tonight is going to be in for the fight of their lives at the next Aggression.

DM: MJ2 and Aaron Jones threw everything they had into this fight but tonight it just wasn’t enough.

MN: Aaron Jones just can’t hack it at this level, it’s just that simple. Good effort, but effort doesn’t cunt for much!

DT: We’ll be right back after this ad break!
 

DBrunkGXW

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KOTC: TTE - Round 2 - W. of the Sea v. Animezing Dragons (cc) - World Tag Team Titles

TF: The following contest is set for one fall! It is a KINGS OF THE CAGE second round match, and it is for the Empire Pro Wrestling… WORLD…TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS!!

[The crowd pop at the mention of the tag team champions. CUE UP: “Wolves of the Sea” by Alestorm. The crowd give a decent pop for as the song starts, a spotlight searching the arena before resting atop the Empiretron where the Wolves of the Sea stand, each holding a rope, singing along with the song. As the chorus starts the crowd roars as the two pirates swing from the top of the giant screen, reaching the cage in seconds! They each grab the side of the cage and scurry the final metre to the top, Syd throwing a few trinkets into the crowd before Jameson, cutlass in hand, launches himself into the ring and lands with a perfect forward roll, springing to his feet, up onto the top rope, and salutes the crowd. Syd climbs down the cage, saluting the fans one last time]

DT: Now that’s an entrance!

DM: It’s impressive, not sure how wise it was to jump voluntarily from the top of the cage like that.

DT: This is our first time seeing the Wolves of the Sea on Aggression, they destroyed the Sons of Tradition last time out before we went to air.

MN: Pirates. Honestly.

DT: Yes, Mike, pirates. Honestly.

DM: They’re going to have their hands full if they want to walk away with the titles.

MN: Don’t you mean treasure? Isn’t that what they call it?

DM: Titles.

[CUE UP: “Ikari No Jyushin” as the lights fade. Green, gold and white lights scatter across the screen and the arena. As the lyrics kick in, Karl “The Dragon" Brown and Otaku step from behind the curtain, Otaku dressed as Togusa from “Ghost in the Shell”. The champions walk straight toward the ring, Otaku playing to the crowd while “The Dragon” keeps his focus straight ahead. The champions enter the cage through the door, Jameson and Syd lounging back in their corner]

TF: Introducing first, the challengers… weighing in at a combined weight of 435 pounds… they are… Syd Morgan… Jameson Murdock… THE WOLVES… OF… THE… SEA!!

And their opponents, at a total combined weight of 411 pounds… hailing from Neo Tokyo Tower and Nottingham, England respectively… they are the reigning and defending EMPIRE PRO WRESTLING WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…

OTAKU! KARL “THE DRAGON” BROWN!! ANIMEZING DRAGONS!!!!

MN: Listen to these people! How can they cheer either of these teams? One thinks they’re pirates, the other has a guy on them who thinks he’s God knows who each week!

DT: Animezing Dragons have been a staple of tag team wrestling in Empire Pro since they joined forces summer last year, they’ve been strong champions. Wolves of the Sea, this is our first chance to really see what they can do, how will they handle the tag champs?

DM: Pretty confidently, looking at them. I don’t know if that’s bravado or confidence.

DT: The champions talking strategy in their corner, there’s the bell and the Wolves quickly across the ring, they’re right on top of them but the champs move out of the way and there’s a slug fest starting over in the corner!

DM: The key here is to decide who you can target and take them out, Brown’s got Syd, I don’t know if that’s smart giving Otaku Jameson to look after.

DT: Otaku with an Irish whip across the ring, Brown ducks under a wild right hand and smashes Syd face first into the turnbuckle as Otaku gets taken down with a cross body block! Kickout before one, Brown with an atomic drop, dropkick to Syd sends him through the ropes.

MN: The pirates are certainly quick, I’ll give them that. But come on, pirates?

DT: Jameson has Otaku on his feet, ducks behind and a snap kick to the back. Brown hooks Syd, blocked attempt at a suplex, and Syd snaps the champion off the ropes. SPRINGBOARD cross body POWERSLAM!

DM: And Jameson quickly saves his partner.

DT: Expect this to be a very, very fast paced match.

DM: Jameson snaps a kick to the midsection, brings Brown up, but Brown ducks behind and a waistlock take down! Floats over into a side headlock, Otaku moves towards Syd and drops a knee across the face.

DT: Brown getting the better of these early exchanges, Jameson slaps the mat in frustration.

DM: The key for Brown is going to be his technical expertise. He’s still one of the quickest on the roster but against these two he’ll take a different path.

MN: I always hate when he snoozes things.

DT: Otaku with Syd back up, drives him into the corner, shoulders to the midsection.

DM: Brown brings Jameson to his feet, headlock take down, it seems the champion’s want to keep the Wolves grounded.

DT: Good thing for them to do. Otaku using power and strikes, slams Syd down and drops another knee. Into the cover

Kickout before one.

DM: That’s one way to do it, Brown keeps one occupied while Otaku goes for the win.

DT: Jameson really frustrated in the headlock, trying to find a way out of it, pushes back on Brown’s chin – and Brown switches into a hammerlock!!

DM: And over in the corner, Otaku hooks Syd, standing headscissors – FACE BUSTER!!

DT: Otaku got caught there going for a powerbomb I think, Syd flips out of it and that might the break that the Wolves of the Sea need desperately in the early going.

DM: Syd runs over, boot to the face of The Dragon, Jameson shakes the arm out.

DT: And Syd quickly over with another running boot, this time takes out Otaku.

DM: And Jameson looks for a little revenge on Brown, right hands to the jaw.

DT: Syd with Otaku by the hair, drives him into the cage.

MN: And Jameson taking it to Brown, boot to the midsection, Jameson with a running knee lift has Brown down. Good. Don’t like him anyways.

DT: The Wolves of the Sea showing an aggressive streak here. Jameson up onto the ropes, drives the point of the elbow across the back of the Dragon’s neck.

DM: And Syd’s showing some classy techniques. Repeatedly driving Otaku’s head into the cage wall.

DT: And snaps him throat first down across the ropes! Otaku’s head snapping back into the cage, Syd stomps on him through the ropes – knee off the vault onto the apron!

DM: There’s a quick two count by Jameson on Brown. The pirates want to win the titles so they’re going to be trying to pin or make one of the champions submit.

DT: And we’ve still not seen the tag team ability of these two we saw against the Sons of Tradition.

DM: Syd sends Otaku into the ring post and comes over to help his partner.

MN: Ooh, strategy. Them good pirates.

DT: Oh cut the sarcasm, Neely!

MN: Never!

DT: Syd grabs Brown by the hair, holds open the ribs – dropkick off the ropes by Jameson!

DM: Otaku’s down in the corner – I guess they really are smart. Good tactics.

DT: Syd still holding Brown, Jameson springs up the ropes, up the – woah! Somersault elbow using the cage as leverage!

DM: Straight across the spine!

DT: Into the cover, Brown kicks out at one. Jameson telling Syd to hold him up again, Brown tries to fight out but the number’s game, beat down.

DM: Irish whip by Syd, double hip toss by the Wolves!

DT: And another kick out.

DM: Otaku starting to stir, Jameson shuts him down with a dropkick against the cage!

DT: Syd has Brown hooked, back suplex

DM: No! Brown on his feet behind, hooks the waist, German suplex!

DT: But Jameson with a flying cross body! One!

TWO!


Kickout by Brown.

DM: Animezing Dragons need to make a move! This is the kind of high pace, high impact attack we saw last time from the Wolves.

DT: Syd holding the back of his neck, gingerly to his feet as Jameson tries to break through Brown’s guard with elbows, Brown has his arms up.

DM: Boot to the top of the head.

DT: Syd’s calling for something big!

DM: Jameson making a move to the ropes, Syd scoops Brown – ducks down behind, shoves Syd into Jameson! The pirates chase Brown OTAKU!!

DT: Where did he come from?! Otaku with a springboard double clothesline, I thought he was down and out!

MN: Sneaky geek.

DT: Otaku shouts over to The Dragon but he barely misses the attack from behind by Jameson! Otaku with a boot to the midsection, DDT!

DM: Brown resting in the corner, he’s holding his back and ribs.

DT: Syd comes in to help Jameson, Otaku ducks the right and fires a right of his own! Brown comes in, all four men, centre of the ring.

DM: And The Dragon with a leg sweep on Syd, Otaku with an inverted atomic drop. The referee wisely staying out of this match, letting them go at it.

DT: Brown with a HUGE leap into the elbow drop! Otaku with an Irish whip, Jameson leaps onto the top rope, springs off Otaku ducks, The Dragon with a suplex!!!

MN: I’ll give them credit, they’ve teamed together a while and are getting pretty good.

DT: Brown with some innovative offence, T-bone suplex caught Jameson as he tried to nail Otaku with an elbow from the top. Otaku making his way to the cage wall, Brown pulls him back into the ring.

DM: Neither Jameson or Syd are in dire enough straights to be out of it yet.

DT: Otaku remonstrating with Brown, kick to the head of Syd by The Dragon.

MN: Trouble in paradise?

DT: I think Otaku is just eager to win the match.

DM: Cooler head from Brown, he knows this isn’t over by a long shot.

DT: Brown drags Syd into the corner, nails into him with hard stomps. Otaku peeling Jameson off the canvas, kicks to the leg, the thigh.

MN: That’s the leg, dumbass!

DT: Otaku putting those feet to good use, jumping kick to the head! Jameson goes down, Otaku to the corner – MOONSAULT!!

One!!

TWO!!


Kickout by the challenger.

DM: Jameson breathing heavily, gasping for air. The moonsault really, really winds you when someone lands, all their weight straight onto your ribs like Otaku just did.

DT: Syd isn’t having any better luck against The Dragon. The Englishman keeping the pirate in the corner, has the leg wrapped around the rope and yanking hard, extending the knee, hyper extending it.

DM: Meanwhile Otaku has Jameson up – big slam after a shoulder breaker. Surprised he didn’t go for a piledriver or something instead of a slam

MN: That’s why you’re behind the mic, Dean. Not a wrestler any more.

DM: Can I smack him?

DT: No.

MN: *raspberry*

DM: Oh very mature.

DT: Brown hammering away on Syd’s knee, Jameson peeled off the mat and driven into the opposite corner. Otaku with an Irish whip, Brown moves out of the way, so does Syd and Jameson up onto the corner!! He’s climbing the cage!!

DM: Syd blocks off Brown, Otaku comes in

DT: BLOCKBUSTER!! BLOCKBUSTER!!

DM: Brown breaks up the cover, Syd tackles Brown from behind, and a beautiful release German suplex!

DT: Folks I’m being told we have to take a commercial break, don’t go anywhere! This match isn’t over by a long shot!
 

DBrunkGXW

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Dragons v. Wolves, Continued.

[CUT BACK: to the action, as Otaku is being double teamed by the Wolves of the Sea, Brown slumped against the cage wall. We can see Otaku is bleeding]

DT: Welcome back! During the break Otaku got busted open after being DRILLED into the cage wall! The Dragon’s down after taking Walk the Plank, Otaku rolled him to the apron to recover and got drilled from behind.

DM: Perfect team work, isolate one man. They’ve pretty much taken The Dragon out of action for a good while, he’s been down three minutes now.

DT: Syd with Otaku up on his shoulders, electric chair position – flips him down, right onto Jameson’s knee!

ONE!




TWO!!!



Kickout by Otaku! The Wolves of the Sea could have had this match won I reckon if they’d left the cage.

DM: But they want the titles and the glory that comes with being champions, Dave. You don’t get that by leaving the cage.

MN: Stupid pirates.

DT: Otaku has got to be out on his feet though! Jameson with a scoop slam, these pirates have so much stamina, so much speed. They’re barely breathing heavy.

DM: And Otaku’s barely breathing with Syd’s boot on his throat. Oh, now the ref gets involved!

DT: The referee admonishing for the choke hold. Jameson with Otaku, Irish whip, misses with the clothesline but Syd with a tilt-a-whirl slam!

ONE!!


TWO!!

Kickout again. So many pin attempts in a cage match, that’s how much winning the titles means to these two.

DM: And how much keeping them means to Otaku.

DT: It’s going to be over soon. Syd telling Jameson to get ready, Irish whip on Otaku, hiptoss NO! Otaku lands on his feet, charges Jameson and almost decapitates him with a lariat!! Syd comes in from behind, Otaku ducks behind, auto pilot almost, roll up!

ONE!!


TWO!!


Otaku nearly stole the win!

MN: And Syd ain’t happy!

DM: Syd with a hard knee to the skull, he was the quicker man up.

DT: Brown stirring, standing though! The crowd really behind the Englishman after he took Walk the Plank, Syd drops Otaku with a reverse DDT, spots Brown. Right hand blocked and he’s snapped on the rope!!

DM: Maybe Brown was playing possum?

DT: Never know with him. Brown through the ropes, hooks the head – BRAINBUSTER!!

DM: Jameson’s up!

DT: And back down! Brown with a dropkick!! What elevation! Almost caught him in row Z!

MN: Man, that was lame!

DT: Brown trying to rally the crowd, Otaku slumps himself in the corner. Brown with Jameson, Irish whip off the ropes, BIG back body drop!

DM: The Englishman feeling it.

DT: Syd back to his feet, Brown ducks behind, leg trip, STF!! STF!!

DM: Now THAT’S an STF!

MN: Jameson quickly recovers to help his partner, Otaku coming back in again, this match has been damn near non-stop!

DM: It’s called competition, Mike.

DT: Jameson and Otaku fighting into the corner, Brown and Syd, Morgan with a knee lift to the ribs, rib breaker!

One!

TWO!

Kickout by Brown, Otaku driving Jameson’s head into the cage.

DM: Otaku hooks him, brainbuster of his own!

DT: But Syd takes him out from behind. The Wolves of the Sea, each man protecting the other.

DM: But that leaves Brown on his own! The Dragon attacks Jameson, Otaku fighting off Syd

DRAGON’S BITE!! DRAGON’S BITE!!! From out of nowhere!!

ONE!!




TWO!!





NO!! No!

DT: Syd tackles Brown right off Jameson, Otaku comes over to help Brown. These tornado rules, no-one’s been able to keep an upper hand because you basically have two one on one matches going on at once!

DM: Otaku fighting Syd into the corner, The Dragon holding the back of his head. Peels Jameson

ONE!!


TWO!!

Small package surprises Brown but doesn’t get the victory! That was close.

DT: Syd and Jameson giving a huge accounting of themselves tonight. Jameson on land legs, shaky after months at sea or the Dragon’s Bite. Brown still groggy from Walking the Plank, Otaku and Syd trading stiff shots.

MN: Of rum and sake?

DT: NO!

MN: Maaan.

DT: Otaku has Syd with a rake of the eyes, hoists him up onto the corner. Follows him up but Syd kicks him back down, CROSS BODY!!

No count though, Syd quickly joins Jameson, double suplex on Brown!

But still no cover! Jameson quickly up on one corner, Syd THROWS him across the ring, big splash on Brown!!

DM: And Otaku’s recovered enough to pull him off.

DT: Only to be tackled by Syd! Again, the Wolves of the Sea using the numbers game.

DM: Brown’s breathing heavily, rolls to the ropes to help himself back up. They’ve been at it almost what, 20 minutes?

DT: And Brown took a lot of punishment to the ribs early on and during the break.

DM: Otaku getting peppered with fists from the pirates.

DT: Double Irish whip

DM: Brown stops Otaku!

DT: Brown grabs Otaku by the waist to stop him from getting a double back drop there! The Dragons and the Pirates looking at each other from across the ring, the fans are really behind both teams.

DM: Both teams talking strategy, Otaku’s stopped bleeding, Brown stretches his back, whispers to his partner. Jameson squaring up, yelling at The Dragon – OTAKU MAKES A DASH FOR THE CORNER!!

MN: COWARD!!

DT: Brown with a hip toss on Jameson as he comes in, Otaku’s up to the top rope, onto the cage.

DM: Brown trying to fight off Syd, but the pirate makes it past, Jameson grabbing Brown from behind, Brown with a go behind and take down! What’s he doing?!

DT: Otaku up to the top of the cage – boots Syd in the head! Otaku trying to position himself over the cage, Brown hammering away on Jameson, Syd back up the cage with a big swinging boot to Otaku’s skull!!

DM: Otaku couldn’t escape!

DT: Syd and Otaku up at the top of the cage!! Trading right hands, Syd stopped Otaku. Headbutt by Syd, he’s hooked Otaku!

DM: And Jameson fought off The Dragon, big boot to the head.

DT: Syd can’t hit the superplex attempt! Tries again, Otaku with a right to the midsection NO!!

[SFX: CRASH!! as Syd lands with a hard THUD through the announce table!!]

MN: NEW CHAMPIONS!

DT: Only one of them’s hit the floor! Jameson’s still in the ring, Otaku just HURLED Syd from the top of the cage right through our announce table! Oh my God he’s gotta be hurt! Can we get someone out here?!?!

DM: Otaku looking down at Syd, he’s in a little shock.

DT: Jameson is at the top of the cage as well, he kicked Brown off the ropes to the ring, but he’s concerned about his partner!

DM: If he climbs down they’ll win the match but not the titles.

DT: Jameson sitting in the corner, shouting at Syd, he thought about it, Dean, he really did but he turns his attention to Brown

FIREBALL!!! FIREBALL!!!! Brown sprung up the corner and used a fireball on Jameson!! Oh my God he might have blinded him!!

DM: Jameson’s in a lot of pain, Brown has him hooked at the top of the cage, shouts at Otaku – SUPERPLEX!! SUPERPLEX!!

DT: 450!! 450 OFF THE TOP OF THE DAMN CAGE!!! HOLY…

Brown into the cover, Otaku bounced off

ONE!!



TWO!!!




THREE!! THREE!! THE DRAGONS RETAIN!!! ANIMEZING DRAGONS WITH AN AMAZING VICTORY!!

DM: Did Brown plan that?!?!

DT: If he did he’s a lot better than anyone thought!

TF: The winners of this match… by pinfall… advancing to the third round and STILL! EMPIRE PRO WRESTLING… TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS….

AAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEZZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG… DDDDDDDDDDDDDDRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

DT: Wow! I mean… Jameson and Syd gave it all they had! They came so damn close on a number of occasions to walking away with the titles but in the end, they came up just short to the World Tag Team Champions! We need to take another break, get a new announce table, Syd looks OK, folks, we’ll be right back!
 

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No More Clark Kent -- Superman is Back

[The scene opened up at the gorilla position. EPW superstar, SEAN “TRIPLE X” STEVENS paced back and forth in anticipation of his cue, bottle of water in hand, as KENNY LOMBARDO approaches.]

LOMBARDO: TRIPLE X! TRIPLE X! Any word on what your plans are tonight? DO you think you and Impulse can continue to co-exist, knowing that you both want to be World Heavyweight Champion?

[Stevens didn’t answer, he stopped, briefly, sizing Lombardo up, then shook his head, as he continued pacing.]

LOMBARDO: Do you have a response to Cameron Cruise’ allegations that you quit?

[Still pacing, Trip barely blinked.]

LOMBARDO: What about The First accusing you of phoning it in?

[The blue-eyed badass shook his head again, as the audio technician gave him the thumbs up signal, as the trumpets from his music began to blare.

Frustrated, Lombardo gave it one more shot.]

LOMBARDO: TRIPLE X! I know you’re getting ready for your match, but your FANS want to—

[Trip placed his hand over Kenny’s mouth, silencing him.]

TRIPLE X: My fans? To the people that praised me for being PG-13 … and got used to the mild mannered Sean Stevens? Now’s a great time to turn your televisions off. It’s time to get those imposters the fuck off the throne … Why? Because The King’s home.

[Stevens walked up the staircase and through the curtain, to thunderous cheers, as he made his way down to the ring.]
 

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MAIN EVENT: KOTC:TTE - Round 2 - Stevens/Impulse v. First (c)/Cruise

[A long shot from the upper deck of the arena shows the expanse of the US Airways Center of Phoenix, Arizona, filled to its max capacity.]

DT: Well, ladies and gentlemen... the King of the Cage tournament has been quite the event thus far!

DM: I couldn’t agree with you more on that, Dave. It’s been an interesting affair for everyone involved in Empire Pro, to say the least. In some cases, expectations were met... and yet, we were even surprised by a few upsets here and there.

DT: And yet, despite all the triumph and drama we’ve witnessed thus far, things are only going to get more intense from this point on, as we move into the final match of round two, and tonight’s main event!

[Our shot cuts to the commentary table, where an overlay graphic identifies our crew of Dave Thomas, Mike Neely, and “The Showstealer” Dean Matthews.]

DT: Gentlemen, we’re only moments away from the competitors making their way to the ring... but before we get to that, do you have any thoughts on this match up?

DM: Well... there’s more than can be said on the matter, if you ask me. The team of Stevens and Impulse against the team of Cruise and the World Champion, the First... not only are you dealing with four of the top stars in the company inside of a steel cage at the same time, but you’ve got all kinds of volatile chemistry happening between all four of those men!

MN: I know exactly what you mean, Dean-O. It’s like, these teams got arranged in the wrong way! Stevens and Cruise should be standing in the same corner, kicking ass for the greater good of cool people like me! I mean, am I right?

DM: ...that’s not what I meant at all.

DT: Clearly, Mike Neely and his unabashed bias are on full display this evening... but I will say this: All four men involved in this match have had undeniably monumental tenures within Empire Pro. I can’t predict who will walk out of that cage with the win... but considering the chance to move on to the quarterfinal round of this tournament is at stake here tonight, I KNOW we are in for an unbelievable contest of ability and wits!

MN: Well let’s get to it, then!

[Cut to the ring, where Tony Fatora stands in the cage with a microphone in hand.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen... it is now time for our main event!

[CUE UP: “KING” by Iron Solomon.]

[As soon as the music hits and the lights come down, the fans go completely wild, filling the entire arena with a booming pop. Lights in electric blue and neon green colors light up the rampway and the stage.Through the spoken intro, the EmpireTron glosses through a mash-up highlight reel of both Sean Stevens and Randall Knox at various points in their careers.]

TF: The following contest is the final second round match of the King of the Cage tournament! Introducing first... weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred and thirty one pounds... give it up for the Marathon Man, IMPULSE... and his partner, the EPW Hall of Famer and original King of the Cage... “TRIPLE ECKS” SEEEEEAAAAAAAANN STEEEVEEEEENNNSSS!!

[SFX: *KA-BOOM!!*]

[A huge display of pyrotechnics over the stage heralds the entrance of Impulse and Stevens, and the two are greeted by a tremendous cheer from the capacity crowd. They take a moment to pump their arms into the air and look to each other in an exchange of confident expressions, and side by side, they make their way down the ramp to the encaged ring.]

DT: The fan favorites have arrived, welcomed by a nearly deafening ovation from these Phoenix fans! The veteran and hall of famer, “Triple X” Sean Stevens, walks down the ramp in stride with the rising star and former Intercontinental Champion, Impulse!

DM: Stevens and Impulse... this is like the Dream Team of tag pairings! Two of the most talented and dazzling athletes in this generation of the industry, working together as a unit... you can’t ask for anything more than that, Dave!

MN: You guys are giving that shrimp more credit than he’s worth. Truth is, Trip could tag up with anybody, and it would STILL be the Dream Team of tag team wrestling. He’s just THAT. DAMN. GOOD.

DT: Not sure I agree with you entirely on that point, although we would share opinions on the extent of Sean Stevens’ abilities in that ring. No doubt about it, either of these men could eventually move on to challenge the World Heavyweight Champion... but before either of them get to that point, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind working together to proclaim themselves Kings of the Cage for the year Twenty-Twelve!

DM: Stevens already has the distinction of being a King of the Cage winner from a few years back... and tonight, with Impulse as his ally, he will try to once again outdo himself by reclaiming his crown!

[Stevens and Impulse take a few moments to pump up the crowd from the ringside floor before going through the cage door. As soon as the music fades out, the two begin talking strategy, showing professionalism right off the bat.]

[CUE UP: “Killing in the Name Of” by Rage Against the Machine.]

[The fans pop loud red strobes fill up the entry-way, and Cruise’s usual video package hits the EmpireTron.]

TF: And the opponent... hailing from Jacksonville, North Carolina, and weighing in at two-hundred and sixty-seven pounds... here is Mister GRAND SLAM himself... CAMEROOOON CRRUUUUUUUIISSSEEE!!!

SFX: *BOOM!*

[As the song enters its main riff, pyros light up the sides of the stage, and Cruise strides out to a mass cheer from the capacity crowd. His expression is a mix of intensity and determination, and after a quick arm pump, marches down the rampway, looking into the eyes of the cheering fans and pointing at his chest.]

DT: Mister Grand Slam is out next, and as he makes his way to the ring, one can’t help but notice that he’s alone, just as he was at Aggression 69! Clearly, things still aren’t patched up with his tag partner...

MN: And they SHOULDN’T be! It’s practically an insult that he has to team up with that clown freak that robbed him of glory back in San Francisco! Do you really expect them to be joined at the hip?

DM: Cameron Cruise has a reputation for being outspoken and passionate... but to his credit, he always finds a way to back up the talk and the hype! But considering this partnership, can he make it happen here tonight? Against opponents like this?

DT: We’ll have to wait and see what happens once his partner arrives and that cage door closes behind him...]

[Cruise bursts into the ring through the cage door and keeps the crowd pumped up by boosting himself up on the turnbuckles, arrogantly walking through Impulse and Stevens as he moves from one corner of the ring to the next. Neither man appears intimidated by the gesture.]

[CUE UP: “Happy Birthday” by the Birthday Massacre.]

[The lights come down over the song’s ambient intro, and the painted eyes of the First appear flickering on the EmpireTron, interspersed with flash images of the champion either in action, standing in a pose, or a close-up of his custom made belt.]

TF: And his partner... accompanied to the ring by Muse... he hails from Salem, Massachusettes... he weighs in at one-hundred and ninety-nine pounds... he is the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION of EMPIRE PRO WRESTLING... PLEASE WELCOME...

TTTHHHHHEEEEEEE FFFFFFIIIIIIIRRRRRSSSSTTT!!!!!

SFX: *POP-POP-POP-POP-POP-KA-BOOOM!!!*

[The stage and sky light up in a silver shower of pyrotechnics. Spotlights fill the entrance as the First makes his grand entrance, sporting the new wifebeater, Prince Nuada facepaint, and customized Ankh-style World Heavyweight Title. Coming out with him as usual is the Muse, done up in a matching Princess Nuala visage. Head down, he holds the belt up high as he stands at the top of the rampway, soaking in the deafening hate raining down on him from every corner of the arena. The camera pulls in close as he raises his head, getting a good shot of the defiance and determination in the champion’s eyes as he looks to the cage ahead of him. A moment later, he’s headed down the ramp at a quick clip with Muse keeping up behind him, brazenly ignoring the trash and insults hurled at him from the fans pressed up against the barricade.]

DT: Last but not least, here comes the Heavyweight Champion of the World, the First! No doubt, you can hear the reaction at home, ladies and gentlemen! The First is NOT a welcome sight in the US Airways Center tonight!

MN: What the hell, are we in Middle Earth? I thought that Halloween crap was over!

DM: He may very well be the least popular man in this match -- maybe even this entire show! But despite the hate, few can deny the cunning and the conviction of the First.

DT: As champion, he is the undisputed pinnacle of the federation... but even at the top, he continues to strive to erase all criticisms and prove his legitimacy!

[The First steps through the door of the cage and pumps the belt into the air as he does a turn as a final gesture as World Champion, drawing even more of the ire of the audience. He hands the belt over to the ring announcer on his way out of the cage and turns his attention on the team of Impulse and Stevens, standing in solidarity together in their corner. The staredown is broken as Cameron Cruise audaciously walks up to him with a scowl on his face and a few unpleasant words.]

DT: Well, it’s no surprise to see Cameron Cruise giving the World Champion a piece of his mind! These two really got into it in the weeks leading up to the event!

DM: The First is doing what he can to ignore him, but Cruise just won’t get out of his face!

MN: That’s right! If I know Cam Cruise like I know him, then he’s telling him right there and now just how stupid that make-up looks, and how he might as well just hand over that World Title right now before he Reality Checks the pout right off his weasley face!

DT: It can’t bode well for this team if they get into an argument right off the back! Senior official Pat Jones is giving the cue for the bell to start this match!

SFX: *DING! DING!*

DT: And here we go! The First shoves Cruise aside, going right for Impulse, while Stevens partners up with Mister Grand Slam... and all four men go right into the lock-up!

DM: The First looking for a go around... but Impulse cuts him off by hooking the leg, and the champ gets whipped to the mat! Impulse keeps control of the leg as it looks like he’s going for the ankle lock! The former Intercontinental Champion is certainly showing some veracity in these opening moments!

MN: Bah, they look like a couple kids fighting in the jungle gym in the playground after school...

DT: Meanwhile, Stevens and Cruise are deadlocked in a battle of strength! And it’s Cruise coming out on top, putting the Hall of Famer right into a headlock... but Stevens, without so much as missing a beat, backs right into the ropes and pushes Cruise off, putting him into motion!

DM: Cameron Cruise off the ropes... and he just BARELY avoids colliding with Impulse as the First uses his free leg to kick out of the Marathon Man’s ankle lock attempt!

MN: Watch what you’re doing, you fool!

DT: Cruise off the ropes again as Stevens drops to the mat and lets him run over... “Triple X”, back to his feet as Cameron Cruise returns -- and stops his momentum with a snap kick to the gut!

DM: Cruise doubled over, and “Triple X” hooks the arms -- NO!! The First with a LOW running dropkick to the back of the legs, interrupts Stevens before he can go for the DDT!

MN: Just so we’re all square, that wasn’t done to help Cruise, but to cramp Trip’s style!

DT: The First got in a free cheap shot on his old rival there... but here comes Impulse once again, going for the champ like he’s got a score to settle! Wait... the First with a hand on the waistband! Impulse gets YANKED off balance -- !!

SFX: *CRASH!!*

DT: OOH, and FACE FIRST right into cage wall on the other side of those ropes! Make that TWO cheap moves on the part of the World Heavyweight Champion!

DM: The First has never shied away from dishonorable tactics... whatever it takes to win. That time, he got the Marathon Man when he wasn’t expecting it!

DT: The champ pops back to his feet... into the ropes now with a SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT -- and IT CONNECTS across the chest of Impulse! The First, going for a cover!

One!

BROKEN UP before the count of two by Sean Stevens!

DM: I doubt Impulse needed the help to kick out, but Stevens is still probably steaming after that low kick to his legs! The Hall of Famer is now yanking the World Heavyweight Champ back to his feet by the hair, and the fans are cheering loudly!

MN: Bust his ass, Trip!!

DT: A HARD forearm to the face gets the First reeling, and Stevens pushes him off the ropes... Impulse hopping back to his feet now and getting into position... and Stevens and Impulse BRING THE FIRST TO THE MAT with a DOUBLE ARM DRAG!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DM: Great tandem teamwork... and there’s a smug smile of satisfaction on the face of Cameron Cruise as he sees his own partner in this match-up writhing on the mat, clutching his back in pain!

DT: The Marathon Man, leaving the original King of the Cage to deal with the World Champion, approaches Cruise in an effort to wipe that smile off his face! Impulse shoots in low, hooking the legs -- but Cruise catches him with an elbow delivered right to the middle of the spine, and the former Intercontinental Champion collapses right at his feet!

DM: Now Cruise is wrangling Impulse back to his feet and into a front facelock! Stevens, wringing the arm of the First as he’s seated on the mat, has his back to this action!

MN: That’s just fine... Trip doesn’t need to know for right now.

DT: Impulse back onto his feet, but Cruise has him hooked tight, and tosses the free arm over his head... lifting him up for the VERTICLE SUPLEX -- but Impulse SLIPS OUT and lands harmlessly behind him!

DM: Maybe Impulse can handle this on his own! Here he goes, hooking the arm behind Cruise -- but Mister Grand Slam BITES BACK with a HARD elbow! Impulse, rattled, falls into the ropes! Cruise is on top of him!

MN: Get him, Cam! I know you can smell his fear!

DT: A HARD closed fist to the face of Impulse... and ANOTHER! Cruise isn’t holding anything back as he puts one blow after another into the face of Randall Knox with his back up against the ropes!

DM: Stevens finally catches a drift of what’s happening to his partner, and he releases the punishing hold on the First, leaving him on the mat to grab Cruise from behind!

DT: Stevens has the waistlock, pulling Cruise away... and he NAILS him with the German Suplex! Stevens with a bridge to pin!

One!

Two!

Cruise kicks out!

MN: A strong kickout after a strong suplex! I’ll tell you, those two could wrestle a five hour CLINIC alone in that cage! Why do we have these to circus midgets in there again?

DT: Cruise and Stevens getting to their feet together! Stevens going for the lariat -- IT’S DUCKED -- and THE FIRST springs off the mat with a FRONT FACE DROPKICK, nailing “Triple X” right in the face as his momentum carried him forward!

DM: Cruise looked ready to capitalize, but the First is moving in on his attack, straddling the chest of the Hall of Famer and laying into him with a flurry of rights and lefts!

MN: Well, on the upside, he can get back to knocking Impulse the next way to Sunday!

DT: Impulse still look groggy, and he’s shaking his head after those heavy shots from earlier. In a normal match, the referee would have done something about it, but anything goes within the steel cage!

DM: It’s going to have to be something the young rising star will need to adapt to... but right now, he’s got other concerns as Cameron Cruise pulls him off the ropes by the arm and gives him a quick whip to the other side!

DT: Impulse rebounding... and he comes back with a DIVING LARIAT -- NO!! Cruise TEARS HIM OUT OF THE AIR and NEARLY BREAKS HIM IN HALF across his KNEE with a backbreaker out of nowhere!

MN: OH MAN, that was beautiful! Cam read that perfectly!

DM: Impulse was looking to catch him off guard, but Cameron Cruise saw it coming! There’s the experience showing in the only Grand Slam Champion of Empire Pro, overcoming even the vaunted tenacity of the Marathon Man!

DT: Cameron Cruise going for a cover here!

One!

Two!

Impulse got the shoulder up!

MN: Oh, but just barely...

DT: Cruise has been slowly wearing down the last man to carry the now vacant Intercontinental Title! Meanwhile, the First is doing what he can to keep Sean Stevens in the one place where he can’t dominate this match... which is down on the mat!

DM: The First is stomping away at Steven’s face, chest, and shoulders, keeping the Hall of Famer unable to get up! Here goes the First now into the ropes... Stevens sitting up -- NO, he puts himself RIGHT INTO POSITION for the SNAPMARE by the World Champion!

DT: Stevens’ head hit the mat pretty hard there, leaving him stunned... and the World Champion, meanwhile, gloats over his performance to the fans!

Crowd: “BOOOO!!!”

MN: Yeah, BOO! You suck, and you look like the lost member of Kiss!

DM: One of the rare times Mike is on the same side as these fans... but the First better not get TOO cocky against the likes of “Triple X” Sean Stevens if he knows what’s good for him!

DT: The First making the belt motion around his waist to remind the capacity crowd that he’s the champion! And now as the champ turns around, he finds Cameron Cruise staring daggers right back at him!

MN: Yeah, Cammy, remind that midget clown of his place!

DM: Cruise is pointing to his chest, making the challenge here and now to the First! Perhaps he could have picked a better time to do this?!

DT: Meanwhile, behind the back of Empire Pro’s only Grand Slam Champion, the team of Impulse and Stevens are recovering! The First is telling Cam to pull his head out of his ass and focus on winning the match, but if you ask me, Cruise seems more focused on competing against his own partner!

DM: Cam finally turns around, setting his sights on “Triple X” Sean Stevens as the former two-time World Heavyweight Champion of Empire Pro gets to his feet! Here comes Stevens... Cruise meets him with a kick to the gut -- NO! It’s caught by Stevens, and with a quick back legsweep, Cameron Cruise goes down to the mat!

DT: Sean is reeling the leg around now... trying to lock Cameron Cruise into the FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK!! But Cruise is FIGHTING IT!!

MN: Trip’s got him on the ropes, that’s for sure, but if there’s a move he knows how to break out of, it’s the move that he watched Joey Melton perform countless times before in the glory days of the Cameron Cruise Project!

DT: The First, shaking his head at Cruise... but now he knows he has to help him get out of this, and the World Champion puts himself into motion, running off the ropes! Stevens is completely exposed as the First comes back with a RUNNING DROPKICK -- NO!!

DM: IMPULSE cuts him off! He came in out of nowhere with the running tackle just as the First’s feet left the mat! The World Champion is stunned on the mat, and now Impulse switches down to his legs... IMPULSE IS GOING FOR THE FIGURE FOUR!

Crowd: *POP!!*

MN: Oh, what a freaking poser! He just wants to do everything the REAL King of the Cage does!

DT: Cruise losing his battle... the First is off guard... and YES, both Stevens and Impulse lock it in! Double Figure Four Leglocks applied by “Triple X” Sean Stevens and Impulse! Cruise and the First are HOWLING in pain!

DM: Cameron Cruise is desperately trying to break free, rolling his weight to the sides and trying to flip himself and Stevens over to reverse the leverage, but “Triple X” has him locked down TIGHT! There’s a confident smile on the face of the Hall of Famer and EPW legend as he watches Cruise trying to break free!

DT: Cruise is no doubt regretting his choice to argue with the First instead of keeping the pressure on a dangerous duo like the Marathon Man and the King! But nevertheless, he hasn’t given up the fight! The First, meanwhile, tries to sustain his focus while fighting off the pain... and he’s trying to drag himself over to the ropes!

DM: Hang on, Cruise suddenly sees him inching his way nearby! Cameron Cruise reaching out with his hand now! The First doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing, and tries to bat his hand away! But Cruise... CRUISE GRABS THE FIRST BY THE HAIR!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

MN: YES!!

DT: The First is HOWLING in pain! Now he’s getting it from BOTH ends! Cruise, meanwhile, uses the World Champion’s weight as leverage to FLIP HIMSELF OVER!! My God, how did he manage to do that without ripping out his partner’s hair?!

MN: Oh, thank the heavens that didn’t happen, otherwise I would have DIED laughing here tonight!

DM: Stevens feeling the pain now... and he unlocks his legs from Cruise to get away! Cameron scrambling away and getting up to his face, blatantly PUSHING OFF OF THE FIRST’S FACE with his hand as he does so!

DT: He’s not even going to bother helping that dirty schemer out of his own situation! Cruise, focused solely on Stevens... both men back up, and go right into the lock-up!

DM: “Triple X” comes out on top and goes right into the headlock... but Cruise doesn’t bite, and quickly takes Stevens by the waist and LIFTS HIM UP for the BACK SUPLEX -- STEVENS LANDS ON HIS FEET!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: Stevens steps in for a rear waistlock... going for the GERMAN SUPLEX -- but Cruise COUNTERS by reaching down and snagging “Triple X” by the leg, sweeping him to his feet!

DM: Cruise cinching in that leg now! He’s going to put SEAN STEVENS INTO A FIGURE FOUR OF HIS OWN!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: NO!! He’s KICKED AWAY as Stevens powers out! “Triple X” Sean Stevens is back to his feet as Cruise stumbles back into the ropes and comes CHARGING RIGHT BACK with the CLOTHESLINE -- DUCKED BY STEVENS!!

DM: Stevens hooks the arm... and his LEGS GO UP to lock the other as he goes for the CRUCIFIX -- NO!! Cruise COUNTERS with a SAMOAN DROP that just flattens the Hall of Famer!

DT: Cruise calling to Jones for the pin! Jones to make the count, turning his attention away from the ongoing submission hold applied onto the First by Impulse!

One!

Two!

STEVENS ROLLS CRUISE UP!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: Jones making the count!

One!

Two!

THR -- ALMOST, but Cruise rolled through and got the shoulders up!

DM: Fairly fast-paced action between these two veterans of the ring, giving each other everything and not giving up an inch!

MN: It’s a battle between two REAL legends! Forget those scrawny kids lying around like a couple of sloths on the mat!

DT: The First’s attempts to roll free have thus far been thwarted by the expert submission skills of Impulse, who continues to keep that figure four leglock held on!

DM: Every passing second the champ remains bound up in that hold, the more strain and tension that is being applied to that lower leg! So far, I’m sure he’s using every last ounce of his strength just to prevent Impulse from BREAKING that leg and crippling him!

MN: He’d be doing the world a favor!

DT: How much more can the First withstand? But while that’s happening, Cruise and Stevens are back on their feet, this time leaving the wrestling to the side and going into an all-out slugfest! Cruise lands a shot! Stevens returns! Back and forth they go!

DM: Stevens with a HARD haymaker, and Cruise gets rocked... but Cam shakes it off and comes back with one of his own -- AND IT’S BLOCKED, and “Triple X” tags him again! And AGAIN!

DT: Stevens, winning the battle, pushes Cameron Cruise off the ropes! Cruise rebounds, and here goes Stevens with the back body -- WAIT, Cruise hooks the HEAD -- MY GOD, what a DDT!!

MN: OH MAN, I just mark-gasmed!!

DM: Cruise was so fluid on that move that it rolled him right back onto his feet! Even Impulse heard it, and he takes his attention away from trapping the First in that figure four hold to see that his partner, Sean Stevens, is suddenly in a bad spot!

DT: Cameron Cruise takes a moment to pump up the crowd... and here he goes for the cover! Impulse, watching helplessly!

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

MN: Okay, as good as it is to see Cam doing well, it’s killing me to see this happen to Trip. Why doesn’t that midget do something already?!

DT: Impulse has all faith in his partner than he can withstand whatever Cameron Cruise throws at him! In any case, he’s got affairs of his own to worry about, as the World Champion, STILL refusing to quit, is making another attempt at dragging himself to those ropes!

DM: Touching the ropes may not break the hold by the rules of the cage match... but at least the First could use them for some much needed leverage to reverse this hold and hopefully get out!

MN: Too bad he lacks the ingenuity of his partner, who got out on his own power!

DT: Let’s not forget he used a handful of the First’s hair now... and as the World Champion inches his way ever closer to the ropes, Cruise gets the former King of the Cage back to his feet! He lifts him up onto his shoulders now... I think he could be GOING FOR IT!

DM: You know it, Dave! Cameron Cruise looking for the SHIPWRECK!! He’s got the head hooked... but Stevens, FIGHTING in desperation, kicks with his legs suspended over him! HOLD ON, HE’S GOT CRUISE BY THE HEAD!!

MN: Oh man, this is CRAZY!!

DT: The First, only an arm’s length away from the ropes now! Impulse is trying to hold him back, but his mind is on what’s going on across the ring! Stevens, with the suspended legscissor on Cameron Cruise, doing what he can to escape the crushing deathblow that is the Shipwreck! Cruise is teetering... he’s going to lose his balance!!

DM: YES!! “Triple X” Sean Stevens, with the FALLING HEADSCISSOR, sends Cameron Cruise careening wildly to the ropes --

SFX: *CRASH!!*

DM: OH MAN, he connected with the cage! Stevens popping to his feet as Cruise recoils off the cage wall and stumbles to him! He’s got the BOOT READY!!

DT: “Triple X” with the X-FACTOR -- AND CRUISE PARRIES!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

MN: D’AAAWWHAAATTNOOOYYYESSS!!

DM: CAMERON CRUISE GOT HIS HAND UP AND DEFLECTED THE X-FACTOR!! Stevens off balance, and Cruise still has the leg! There’s the SWEEP to the mat... the TURNOVER... HE HOOKS THE LEG... THE BRIDGE... AND THE CHINLOCK!!

DT: IT’S THE CRUISE CONTROL!! I DON’T BELIEVE IT, HE’S GOT IT LOCKED IN!!

DM: I was CERTAIN Stevens was going to nail him with the superkick out of nowhere, as he’s done so many times before! Against ANY other man in this federation, that would have ended the match right there!

MN: Unfortunately for Trip tonight... the man he stepped into the cage against happens to be the ONLY man who could be considered anywhere near his level!

DT: Stevens in a WORLD of agony, screaming in pain! Pat Jones has turned from one submission hold to the next now as he leaves the First and Impulse to check on the Hall of Famer! Will “Triple X” Sean Stevens tap RIGHT HERE?!

Half of the Crowd: “CRUISE!! CRUISE!! CRUISE!! CRUISE!!”

Other half of the crowd: “TRI-PLE-ECKS!! TRI-PLE-ECKS!! TRI-PLE-ECKS!!”

DT: The divided crowd is dueling for superiority in volume, while these four titanic athletes battle for supremacy in Empire Pro! With Cameron Cruise on the verge of ending this match unless Sean Stevens miraculously escapes that agonizing STF hold, and the First getting ever closer to escaping his own situation, the tables seem to be turning against the Dream Team of Impulse and “Triple X” once again!

DM: Stevens has the arm extended! I almost think he WANTS to tap... after all, he has practically nothing to lose! But he’s hanging out, because if we know “Triple X” Sean Stevens like we do, then we know that he’d NEVER live with himself if he walked out of that cage with the knowledge that Cameron Cruise made him tap!

DT: He’s only got precious seconds to decide before he blacks out from the pain! But I think Impulse can see that he can hold out no longer, and the figure four on the First isn’t doing any more than what it’s already done in the LONG amount of time the World Champion has been locked in that painful hold! Impulse is... yes, he’s BREAKING IT!

MN: FINALLY, you moron! SAVE your King!

DM: The First drags himself the last few inches to the ropes and clings for dear life! I can’t imagine how his leg is feeling right now! Impulse, meanwhile, hurries to his feet and bolts across the ring... DIVING DROPKICK right into the side of Cameron Cruise, and that breaks up the Cruise Control!

DT: You wouldn’t expect submission holds to have much effect in a cage match with four men involved, but as we see the First rubbing his leg and Sean Stevens being checked on by his partner, you can definitely see they are making an impact here tonight!

DM: How bad is that leg on the World Champion right now? Impulse had him in that hold for well over five minutes... he’s GOTTA be numb from the knee down! What can a high-flyer like the First do without the use of his leg?

MN: Hopefully, nothing! If he just sits out on the rest of this match, I’d be pleased!

DT: The leg obviously hurts, but there’s still rage in the eyes of the First as he looks across the ring at his aggressor! Impulse, meanwhile, turns his attention from Stevens back to Cruise, as Mister Grand Slam gets to his feet and comes right at him with a KNEE LIFT TO THE MID-SECTION -- NO, IMPULSE CATCHES IT and ROLLS THROUGH!! Cruise’s SHOULDERS GO TO THE MAT!

ONE!!

TWO!!

CRUISE KICKS OUT!

MN: Come on, that kid should know by now that Cam’s not going down THAT easily!

DM: Cam back to his feet, and Impulse is up with him! Here’s Cruise with the CLOTHESLINE -- but Impulse DUCKS... locks up the OTHER ARM!!

DT: And Cruise goes BACK to the mat with a BACKSLIDE PIN!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

ANOTHER kickout by Cameron Cruise!

DM: Cruise looking red and angry right now as the speed and finesse of Impulse are keeping him on his toes!

MN: He’s gotta do more than these worthless flash pins, though!

DT: Both men back to their feet, and Cruise is PISSED! He brazenly comes right at Impulse with a boot to the gut, and he CONNECTS!! He hooks the head... looking for a SWINGING NECKBREAKER -- but Impulse SLIPS FREE, and goes right into position beside Cruise!

DM: RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP!! Cruise didn’t even have a second to react, Impulse was that quick!

MN: What the hell is happening here?! Mister Grand Slam should be wrestling his ASS off by now!

DT: Impulse with a lateral press, and he hooks the leg!

ONE!!

TWO!!

BROKEN UP by the FIRST!! He’d finally gotten to his feet with the use of the ropes and used the opportunity to break up the pin attempt!

MN: That was hardly needed! Cam was just about to kick out on his own!

DM: The expression on Cruise’s face seems to indicate exactly what you’re feeling, Neels... but if you ask me, I think the First did it just to get the jump on Impulse! An elbow to the back of the head left the last man to carry the Intercontinental Title stunned on the mat, and now the First is on top of him, railing him in the face from left to right with some ANGRY fists!!

Crowd: “BOOOOOO!!!”

DT: The World Champion is like a man POSSESSED right now as he pounds away at the face of Impulse! The Marathon Man can barely defend himself with the First straddling one of the arms!

DM: The First is definitely holding nothing back... but wait -- CAMERON CRUISE just PULLED HIM OFF!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: The First gets shoved aside, and now Cruise takes his place on top of Impulse, giving the Marathon Man a heavy pummeling of his own!

MN: Now THAT’S how you smash a midget melon! Take notes, “CHAMP”!

DM: The First is absolutely LIVID right now! I’d almost think Cameron Cruise was acting this way just to get under the World Champion’s skin! Is the World Champion going to retaliate?

DT: Looks like he will not! Instead, ever focused on trying to win this match, he turns his attention to his old nemesis in “Triple X” Sean Stevens! Stevens has been sitting in the corner recovering from that brutal Cruise Control only a few minutes ago, and now the shadow of the World Champion falls over him!

MN: Come on, Trip! This is no time to be sitting down here! You gotta remind these punks just who the KING is!

DM: The First is walking with a noticeable limp as he approaches the Hall of Famer and reaches down to pick him up... but Stevens BITES BACK with a sharp boot to the gut! And there’s an added kick to that BAD LEG that Impulse put through the wringer, and the First collapses to mat in pain!

DT: Determination and rage on the faces of both me as Stevens grasps the ropes with both hands and quickly pulls himself to his feet! Here comes the First, back onto his feet... but Stevens meets him with a quick kick to the gut and hooks the head!

DM: Stevens going for the VERTICLE SUPLEX -- but the First SLIPS OUT and drops behind him! OH MAN, that leg nearly gave on the landing! What kind of effect is that going to have on the rest of this match?!

DT: Hard to say at this point... Stevens with a chance to react, but the First fends him off with a HARD rake across the eyes! The First trying to get to the turnbuckle, but that pain in his leg just won’t go away! He’s going to go for it anyway... and he GETS TO THE TOP ROPE supported by just ONE LEG!!

MN: Look, gentlemen! The rare white-faced wimping crane in it’s natural environment!

DM: Amazing fortitude by the World Champion... Stevens recovering, but the First comes off the top with a ONE-LEGGED MOONSAULT -- AND IT’S CAUGHT BY STEVENS!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: Stevens with the First in his arms... he turns to the CAGE WALL --

SFX: *CRASH!!*

DT: -- AND THE WORLD CHAMPION JUST GOT RAMMED RIGHT INTO IT!!

DM: The First, groaning in pain, but Stevens keeps him held up... and there’s the LIFT onto the shoulders! Stevens turning around...but now the First is FIGHTING IT!!

MN: HANG ONTO HIM, TRIP!! YOU CAN DO IT!!

DT: The First squirming loose... he’s got Stevens by HIS SHOULDERS -- AND HE PLANTS THE KNEES FOR THE SOULBREAKER --

DM: OOOH MAN, NOT QUITE!! The Hall of Famer shows off his expert LIMBO SKILLS as he PLANTS HIS FEET and STOPS HIM IN AIR!!

DT: WHAT AMAZING ATHLETICISM!! Stevens prevents falling prey to the double-knee backbreaker, and ROARS as he pulls back up to his full height with the First still clinging onto his shoulders! I can’t CONCEIVE the amount of body strength needed to do something like that!

MN: Trip never ceases to amaze us!

DT: The First trying to go for the Sleeperhold now... but “TRIPLE X” GETS HIM BY THE HEAD into a THREE-QUARTER FACELOCK... and the First just gets HURLED over the former World Champion’s shoulder like a HUMAN BOULDER -- AND THE FIRST JUST CRASHED RIGHT INTO CAMERON CRUISE!!

DM: That right there is how you kill two birds with one stone in the wrestling ring! Stevens shakes off the World Champion and gives his partner a much needed assist! Impulse is helped back to his feet, wiping off a bloody nose, but nevertheless still looking determined to win this!

DT: The FIGHT we’re seeing in these two men tonight, against the team of the World Heavyweight Champion and the federation’s only Grand Slam Champion, is simply beyond words! Just when the odds are against them, they find a way to come back!

MN: What the hell are you babbling about, Dave?! That twerp Impulse just spent the last minute on his back getting his FACE bashed in! The success of this team is CLEARLY on the shoulders of Sean Stevens alone!

DT: I’m not sure I agree with you there, but we’ll see if Impulse erases your doubts here and now as he stands ready with “Triple X” Sean Stevens, and the team of Cameron Cruise and the First make it to their feet while they’re still untangling themselves!

DM: And Cam just SHOVES the First back with both hands on the chest! I almost wonder if he thinks the champ intentionally came at him! These two superpowers are about to EXPLODE in that cage, but right now, they’ve got BIGGER problems to worry about!

DT: Cam and the First look over just in time, and here come STEVENS AND IMPULSE WITH STEREO SUPERKICKS -- OH NO, they BOTH dove out of the way just in time!

DM: They got lucky that time! Cruise with an opportunity on Impulse, takes him by the arm -- IMPULSE WITH THE REVERSAL, looking for the arm whip -- AND CRUISE REVERSES BACK!!

DT: Impulse reeled in -- RIGHT INTO THE REALITY CHECK!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

MN: Time to GET REAL, Marathon Moron!!

DT: Cruise got the better of Impulse that time! Meanwhile, the First trying to make a move on Stevens from the rear waistlock! Stevens breaking free... HE’S GOT THE ARM! There’s the WHIP -- NO!! The First gets YANKED back into the REVERSE FACELOCK!!

DM: “TRIPLE X” GOING FOR THE X-TERMINATOR -- !!

DT: THE FIRST SLIPS DOWN THE BACK!! GOD, he knows that move too well! Stevens, turns -- POISON MIST!! THAT DIRTY SON OF A BITCH!!

Crowd: “BOOOOOOO!!!”

MN: CRETIN!! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!!

DT: Stevens couldn’t turn away in time! Now he’s stumbling blind with green dye in eyes -- AND HE WALKS RIGHT INTO CRUISE!!

DM: REALITY CHECK BY CAMERON CRUISE!! MISTER GRAND SLAM IS ON FIRE!!

DT: What a ONE-TWO KNOCK-OUT PUNCH by Cameron Cruise, capitalizing on the moment with back-to-back Reality Checks to put the team of Impulse and Stevens motionless on the mat!

Crowd: “CRUISE!! CRUISE!! CRUISE!! CRUISE!!”

DM: Cruise is raging around the ring, slapping his hands against the cage and getting this crowd ON THEIR FEET!! Now to make the cover -- NO, HE WALKS STRAIGHT INTO THE FIRST -- CRUISE WITH A REALITY CHECK --

DT: OH NO!! The First just SHOVED HIM BACK at the last possible moment, but there was no doubt that Cruise would have Reality Checked the PAINT right off the World Champion’s face! What was THAT all about!

MN: The heat of the battle, obviously! That clown needs to get out of Cam’s way!

DM: The First crossing both his arms, and I think that’s the last straw for him! Now he’s going to the turnbuckle... and UP THE CAGE WALL!!

Crowd: “BOOOOOO!!!”

DT: The First, trying to ESCAPE the cage in this moment of opportunity!! The chance to go for a cover now is lost to Cruise as Stevens and Impulse as stirring themselves awake... he doesn’t look sure what to do right now!

DM: And there goes Cam up the cage wall, AFTER the First! With the First’s movement slowed by the leg, he may just get to him! He’s shaking his head, intent on preventing the World Champion from leaving this match!

MN: That’s right! Get your ass back in there and make something happen, “CHAMP”! You ain’t walking out on this one!

DT: Cruise has the First by the cuff of his pants now! He’s trying to pull his own partner off the cage wall! If he just followed him out of the ring, the two of them could WIN this... but Cruise isn’t concerned with moving on in this tournament! All he wants right now is to show the First that he will NOT rest easy as this federation’s World Heavyweight Champion as long as he has something to say about it!

DM: Impulse is coming to, and he sees the commotion on the cage wall! And as the Marathon Man works his way to his feet, the First shakes Cruise loose... and there’s a BOOT to his face to kick him back down to the mat!

Crowd: “BOOOOOO!!!”

DT: The First continuing to climb the cage, and as Cruise tries to make a second effort, Impulse gets to him first! That’s it, there’s no stopping the World Champion now! He reaches the top and gets his legs over without any trouble!

DM: The First has just abandoned his own tag partner in this match, much in the same way Boogie Smallz abandoned Alceo Dentari in the main event at the last Aggression! The fans don’t like it... but it seemed like the World Champion has had enough of Cameron Cruise getting into his face! And continuing this sham of a team isn’t going to resolve the matters between them any time soon!

DT: That leaves Cameron Cruise alone in the ring against both Impulse and “Triple X” Sean Stevens!!

MN: He’s probably better off now, without that shrimp constantly getting in his way...

DT: I’m not sure about that, Mike... the First climbs down the cage wall where Muse is waiting for him, and he angrily grabs his World Title from the timekeeper as he limps his way back up the ramp, the fans raining trash down on the champion! Meanwhile, Cruise is trying to fight off Impulse, but here comes “Triple X” Sean Stevens to his feet... he hooks Cruise from behind --

DM: X-TERMINATOR!! “TRIPLE X” SEAN STEVENS NAILED IT WHILE CRUISE WAS FOCUSED ON IMPULSE!! Cruise had absolutely NO time to react to that Osaka Street Cutter!

DT: That’s gotta be IT!! Here’s Stevens with the pin, HOOKING THE LEG!!



ONE!!




TWO!!




THREE --

DM: CRUISE KICKS OUT!!

Crowd: *POP!!!*

DT: MY GOD, I DON’T BELIEVE IT!! Cameron Cruise came back from the X-TERMINATOR!!

MN: That’s right, Cam! You are the ONLY man allowed to do that in this federation!

DM: Stevens can hardly believe it... but he isn’t showing signs of worry yet as he gets back to his feet, and looks over to his tag partner!

DT: Cruise slowly getting to his feet... and both men realize they’re in PERFECT position to finish this right now! But who’s going for the deathblow? Impulse and the Sudden Impact, or Stevens and the X-Factor?!

DM: Stevens is looking to the audience now... maybe it’s time to ask the fans?! Stevens points to Impulse...

Crowd: *POP!!*

DM: Now he points to himself!

Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: ...he doesn’t look overly impressed with that reaction! Cruise pointing to himself with BOTH THUMBS now!

Crowd: “STE-VENS!! STE-VENS!! STE-VENS!! STE-VENS!!”

DM: Heh heh heh... now THAT is what he approves of!

MN: He’s the KING after all! The King ALWAYS gets the last move!

DT: “Triple X” Sean Stevens loading the boot, waiting for Cameron Cruise to get up the rest of the way, while Impulse watches closely! Cruise off his knee... up on both feet and raising his head as he turns around!!

DM: Here’s Stevens with the X-FACTOR -- !!

DT: CRUISE DUCKS!! That’s TWICE he’s dodged the superkick!!

Crowd: *POP!!*

MN: NEVER SAY DIE, CAM!!

DT: Cruise running into the ropes now... Impulse jumps in, and Stevens gets ready! They lock the arms for the Double Arm Drag -- AND IT’S COUNTERED BY CRUISE WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!!

DM: Cruise KEEPS ON FIGHTING, and the Grand Slam Champion lets out a PRIMAL SCREAM into the crowd as he pumps his arms --

DT: STEVENS AND IMPULSE KIP UP TO THEIR FEET!! MY GOD, THEY’RE LIKE MIRROR IMAGES!!

MN: WHAT?! Impulse is TOTALLY just ripping him off now!

DM: Cruise turns around -- BLASTED OFF HIS ASS BY STEREO SUPERKICKS!!!

Crowd: *MEGA-POP!!*

DT: X-IMPACT!!! CAMERON CRUISE JUST CORKSCREWED ACROSS THE RING LIKE A CRASH TEST DUMMY SHOT OUT OF A CANNON!!

DM: Cameron Cruise couldn’t avoid it THAT time! He is OUT on the mat, and Stevens is giving this one to Impulse!

DT: Impulse makes the cover... THIS COULD BE IT!!



ONE!!




TWO!!!





TTTHHHRREEEE!!! THAT’S IT!!

SFX: *DING! DING! DING!!*

[The crowd pops TREMENDOUSLY as “Revolution Baby” by Queen V comes in over the PA and Impulse rises to his feet, high-fiving Stevens with both hands as the two of them pump their arms into the air in celebration.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match...

IIIIIIMMPUUUUUULLLLLLSSSE...

AAAANND...

“TRIPLE ECKS”... SSSSSEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN SSSSTEEEEEEVVVEEEEEEENNNNSSSSS!!!!

DT: A dominant final note to seal the win for the team of Impulse and Stevens, getting Cameron Cruise when he was left all alone in that cage with the tandem superkicks! Even the Grand Slam Champion couldn’t protect himself from that one!

MN: I gotta watch that replay... cause I am CERTAIN that Impulse didn’t even connect on his end! Makes since, given how freakishly TINY he is!

DM: I think you need to get your eyes checked, Neels! The duo of Randall Knox and Sean Stevens were perfectly synched together on that last move, and it paid off in a big way! This is a hard fought victory for these two given the challenge that was brought before them tonight... but one has to wonder how different things would have been had the First not left the cage!

DT: The First clearly seems to want no more of Cameron Cruise as a tag partner... and Cruise likewise! As Stevens and Impulse continue their celebration, Cruise is coming to and realizing his defeat! And he looks ANGRY, ladies and gentlemen!

MN: As well he should be! Cameron Cruise doesn’t LOSE! I mean... to Sean Stevens, sure, but to Sean Stevens with a nobody like Impulse weighing him down?

DM: Cruise going to the cage door and demanding it be opened... and he’s on his way out and back up the rampway! No doubt, he’s got a score to settle with the World Champion before this night is through!

DT: Unfortunately, we won’t get to see it, because we are completely out of time! Tonight’s big moment definitely goes to “Triple X” and Impulse for moving on to the next round of the King of the Cage tournament! Only SIX teams remain, and the semi-final rounds are up next! We’ll see you once again at the next AGGRESSION!

[Fireworks begin to explore overhead as Stevens and Impulse stand within the cage, looking far off into the sea of cheering fans that surround them, and a moment later we fade to the copyright and EPW logo.]
 

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