[FADE IN to the clear ocean, waves crashing against a rocky outcrop. The sky is clear blue, not a cloud in the sky, and there’s a soft breeze. A seal plays quickly in front of the camera, before our attention is grabbed by the sound of something hitting the water
CUT TO: The sight of a man leaping from the top of a cliff, hurtling down 8 storeys to land in the water in almost a cannon-ball position. There’s the sound of howling laughter as someone surfaces, followed quickly by a second figure.
ZOOM IN to the two swimmers, and we see it’s Jameson and Syd, the Wolves of the Sea, treading water and mopping the worst of the excess from their hair]
JM: WOOH!!
SM: By Her I love doing that! There be nothing as exhilarating as hurtling down intae the depths from up there!
JM: You’re telling me, matey!
SM: Well, except finding the best riches and holding them tight in me grasp!
JM: I forgot about tha’.
SM: Ye’d ferget yer hat if we didn’t remind ye tae take it.
JM: That’s why I wear a headscarf, matey! Easier tae keep on.
SM: Aye, aye. Not as comfortable, though.
JM: I know ye’ve got eyes on the Cap’n’s cabin, don’t need tae keep bringing that up.
SM: Shh, laddie. The Cap’n keeps me in good graces because I don’t go spreadin’ that around!
Anyways, who doesn’t want a ship of their own, a crew in their command, hunting treasure, the treasure of Empires!
JM: An’ that be what we’re after! Diving down tae the depths, followin’ the map, all tae find the treasure!
SM: Aye, matey. And when we have that there treasure… oh the riches that’ll be ours!
JM: Aye! And we’re gonnae be rich, rich! The treasure…
SM: Calm down, laddie! We’ve gottae be ready tae take on the beast!
JM: The cripple?
SM: There’s no more dangerous a beast than the leviathan who’s on his last legs, lad. None at all. For then he be willing tae take any chance fer one final huzzah! He be ready tae give it everything for the chance. He’s more dangerous than in his youth, because he knows it’s his only chance tae defeat the foe that’s hounded him an’ hunted him tae the point o’ madness!
That’s what the Dragon’s at! He’s beaten, but he’s dangerous.
JM: But we’re gonnae beat him and that weirdo.
SM: Bit much ye callin’ someone else a weirdo, matey.
JM: True, but that guy is weird! Dressing in costume like that, it’s not natural I tell ye.
[Syd blinks before swimming over towards a small rock where we can see the pirates have left their clothes. Yes, all of them. Syd sits on the rock, the camera angle SHIFTING to ensure nothing untoward is shown as he strips the water from his well toned physique]
SM: Aye, he’s a bit crazy, but crazy is good. Shows a good grip on reality, it does. It shows he might not be the weak link in that team, that we have tae beat the broken ol’ Dragon.
[Jameson surfaces, having submerged himself to swim to the rock. He rests his arms on the rock]
JM: Either way he’s a freak. Tryin’ tae do five hundred laps on his hands… that’s not natural. I think we better be careful, Syd, he might be cursed.
SM: Cursed be iron.
JM: But we’re still gonnae win, curse or neigh.
SM: Aye. As mighty as they claim tae be, they’ve never faced anyone like us, for there be neighbody like us on land or in the air. Only on the sea can ye get people like us. Only the sea can make ye appreciate life fully.
JM: Aye. We’ve seen crewmates swept out tae sea, dashed on the rocks. We’ve had highs an’ lows. We’ve had treasure snatched from our grasp an’ known the joys of revenge!
We’re battle hardened, battle ready!
SM: Hit an’ run isn’t the only thing we can do, is it, matey?
JM: Neigh! It’s the most fun one, though, especially after a quest at Nancy’s.
SM: Aye. But in this fight we ain’t gonnae hit an’ run. It’s never good tae skirmish with the Beast. Ye track it, wear it down, an’ then… when it’s thrashed out it’s last…
JM: YE STRIKE!
[Jameson smashes his arms against the water, momentarily bobbing a little uneasily before righting himself]
SM: Aye, lad. We’re gonna wear down Otaku and the Dragon. We’re gonnae make them walk the plank, keelhaul ‘em, an’ send ‘em down, down tae Davy Jones an’ take their treasure!
JM: An’ then tae Nancy’s?
SM: There be neigh finer place fer us tae celebrate!
JM: And we ain’t ever gonna give the treasure up, are we, matey?
SM: Neigh! ‘Tis better to have then tae have had an’ lost! More is more, an’ we’re gonnae take it all!
JM: And then more wenches!
SM: More wenches and mead!
JM: Oooh… almost forgot the mead.
[Syd, in shock, kicks Jameson on the top of the head, the smaller man laughing as he goes under the waves. The camera FADES OUT as the two pirates laugh, Syd starting to stand just in time for us to END]