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Aggression 35: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma - 3/6/08

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DBrunkGXW

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State of the Union

[The scene opened up inside of a makeshift office. EPW World Heavyweight Champion, reigning King of the Cage, and "Blue-Eyed Badass" SEAN STEVENS sat at his desk, looking straightforward, exuding an aura of annoyance. In front of him were a stack of important looking papers, to his right, on a mantle, was the EPW World Heavyweight Championship shining as bright as it’s ever shined. Occasionally, the champ would glance at his title belt, as he continued to ruffle through the papers.]

[SFX: Loud chorus of boos.]

STEVENS: There are things that happen in life that can be summed up as injustices and then there are those events that go down in history that are just … wrong. For some, the day that George W. Bush ran roughshod over Al Gore and took the Presidency of the United States was one of those days … for Dan Ryan, it was probably the day that ***** – I mean, Beast – helped Irishred take over this company for six months, and for A1E? …it’s gotta be right about now that Dan Ryan owns the place.

But, I’ve got an even bigger injustice, a farce, and a travesty that took place a couple of months ago that will most certainly go down in America’s history books as the greatest robbery known to man…

… November 28th, 2007.

[The scene cuts to clip of Triple X nailing Ice Tre with his patented finisher, the X-Factor.

CUT TO: Another clip of Stevens, sitting on a chair, leaning in on a fallen Ice Tre, as he struggles to get on his feet.

CUT TO: Ice Tre attempting to climb out of a steel cage, as the champion tries to pull him back inside, hanging onto the faux gold ropes around Tre’s neck, as they eventually pop, and Ice tumbles to the floor.

CUT TO: Referee Emilio Gomez handing Ice Tre Triple X’s King of the Cage crown, while raising his hand in victory.]

STEVENS: On November 28th, 2007 something was stolen from me that I intend to get back. Originally, I was going to beat Ice Tre into submission each and every week until he handed me my crown. But, I wouldn’t want to break one of my championship nails doing unnecessary dirty work. Then, I decided I should go the legal route, and sue Cassidy Stewart’s bullsh_t agency, but then two things occured to me. One, I’d burn more money in legal fees than I’d actually be able to win from that dump. And, two … a lawsuit wouldn’t guarantee that Tre would give me my crown back because he’s too stupid to understand what a lawsuit actually means. So, I decided to go with option three … I’m going to deal with Tre in a language and manner that he understands perfectly clear. I'm going the "street" route…

… I’m putting a hit out on him.

[Stevens pulls a briefcase onto the table and opens it. Inside is stacks and stacks of one hundred dollar bills.]

STEVENS: I have one hundred thousand dollars for the man OR woman that can get me back my King of the Cage crown, and an extra fifty thousand if Tre’s head is still attached to it.

[Stevens aggressively stood up from his seat, shutting the briefcase, and clutching it dearly, as the camera panned backward for a full body shot.

He was dressed in full business attire. A dark blue, pin-striped suit, canary yellow shirt, with a matching canary yellow tie with light and dark blue diamond designs.

He had on business attire because he had serious business that needed to be dealt with. And, by any means ... on this night, it would get handled.]
 

DBrunkGXW

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Intro - Ice Tre gets a set

[Suddenly, we kick it back up, showing a scene of a man dressed in a tutu typing away at a keyboard in front of his computer. He turns and sees the camera, then swipes at it, knocking it over and onto the ground sideways – the last thing we see is a crumpled up Houston Oilers 1993 AFC Central Division Champions t-shirt on the floor…]

[FADE TO BLACK……Then……]

[CUE UP: "Imperial March" - Rage Against the Machine. A video montage plays, featuring smoke-wreathed images of various wrestlers, some of them leaving blurred trails as they move.
CUT TO: Beast nailing the Absolution on Adam Benjamin.
CUT TO: Shawn Hart coming off the ropes with a Quebrada.
CUT TO: Felix Red standing victorious in the ring.
CUT TO: JA delivering the Karelin Driver to Ron Artest
CUT TO: Adam Benjamin delivering a Shining Wizard to Karl Brown.
CUT TO: Joey Melton, mugging for the crowd.
CUT TO: Lindsay Troy dropkicking Beast.
CUT TO: Ice Tre flailing away as he falls from a cage.
CUT TO: JA and Kin Hiroshi locking up in the middle of the ring.
CUT TO: Rocko Daymon, mugging with Caitlyn.
CUT TO: “Triple X” Sean Stevens on the second turnbuckle staring out into the crowd with the World Title raised overhead.
CUT TO: Dan Ryan sitting sedately in a chair, staring into the camera.
CUT TO: With a clash of metal, a logo slams across the screen, its edges flickering.]


[Pyro erupts around the stage and the ring itself as a wide angle shot of the crowd pans around the Kemper Arena before finally resting on the broadcast team.]

DT: Hello everybody and welcome to the last show before Black Dawn 2008….Aggression 35!! I’m Dave Thomas and with me as always are Dean Matthews and one Mr. Mike Neely.

MN: Respect.

DT: What a show we have tonight with some matches having major major implications on Black Dawn and the ongoing soap opera between Dan Ryan and the folks from A1E….

MN: Not the folks from A1E, Thomas – just Beast and Irishred.

DM: And JA and SB and Troy Douglas….

DT: Indeed. And in the main event we’ll finally be getting some resolution to the question of who will challenge Sean Stevens for the World Title at Black Dawn as JA, Rocko Daymon and Kin Hiroshi face off in yet another epic three way dance.

DM: It’s all been building up to this, Dave. These guys have been through hell and back with each other and tonight we find out once and for all who gets the opportunity to take home the gold at Black Dawn.

["Did my time" by Korn blares over the PA and the crowd erupts in a chorus of boos as Stalker steps out from behind the curtains. Mic in hand he makes his way towards the ring with a determined look on his face.]

MN: Oh great….what the hell does this mental patient want?

[Stalker slides into the ring and tells them in the back to cut the music. Staring at the crowd as they boo him generously he grins and lets it pour on him like rain.]

Stalker: You know....

[The boos become even louder, practically drowning out his first two words, Stalker not one bit phased just continues to grin.]

Stalker: YOU KNOW, being banned from that match tonight just isn't right. Ryan knows it, I know it, hell even you fans know it.

[Booing continues even some debris is thrown in the ring, still, it doesn't phase him one bit.]

Stalker: All of this effort, everything i've put into what i've done these past few shows is coming to a head TONIGHT! AND I CANT EVEN PARTICIPATE! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT BULL****!

MN: Is there really a need for him to yell like that?

[Stalker hears Mike's comment and gives him an icy stare.]

DT: [Under his breath] Shut up, Mike.

Stalker: You got a problem there, Neely?

[Neely shakes his head no.]

Stalker: That's what I thought. Anyways, fact is "I" should be involved in that match tonight, no, not by interfering. I should be a participant! I deserve it. All the work i've put into deciding who the Number one contendor for Sean's title should be, there is no way I should be held out in the ninth inning!

[More boos erupt from the crowd.]

Stalker: In fact, I DARE ANYONE! Someone please, PLEASE have the balls to come out here and TELL ME IM [Beep]ing wrong!!

[Stalker stares down at the curtains for what seems like an eternity and no one shows, not even Dan Ryan himself.]

Stalker: See that's what I thought punk ass.....

[Lights out, son. Who that is? Spotlight hits the entrance. You know who that
is. And he has a micophone.]

ICE TRE: SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???

[The crowd EXPLODES]

DT: Ice Tre is in the building and he is ... confronting the certifiable MANIAC, Stalker?

MN: That makes TRE a maniac!

[Camera cuts to Stalker, in the ring, fists balled. He fumes, pacing in the ring as the fans bathe Tre in adulation.]

ICE TRE: Listen to you, yo! You straight off the chain! Out yo' damn MIND! You know what you doin'? You WHININ' LIKE A GOT'DAYUM B_TCH!

[Big pop as the camera zooms in on Stalker's wild eyes, half-obscured by the hair in his eyes. Tre wears the [stolen] King of the Cage crown atop his head like a badge of honor. His greatest prize.]

ICE TRE: You think you're the ONLY man in EPW that feels like he been overlooked? You the only one been passed over for TITLE SHOTS and WHATNOT? You the SOLE INDIVIDUAL that hasn't GOT the RESPECK you DESERVE? Guess what, TALKER ... you AIN'T the ONLY ONE. You cryin' 'cause you LEFT OUT of the #1 Contenders match here tonight with J A, Kin HIROSHI, and Rocko DAYMON? I'mma keep it real wit'chu; I don't know what those three PUNKS are SQUABBLIN' over! You're LOOKIN' at the TRU NUMBA ONE CONTENDA! The TRU K'ANG of the STREETZ! The TRU K'ANG of the CAGE! Ice Maw'fuggin' TRE. Act like ya KNOW!

[Tre begins to make his way to the ring to a THUNDEROUS chorus of cheerz.]

ICE TRE: You wanna be in the MIX, homie? You wanna be the REAL Numba One Contenda?

[He skips up the ring steps and through the ropes -- surprisingly without tripping through them.]

ICE TRE: To get there ... you gotta go through ME!

[Oh gosh. A staredown! Stalker looks down slightly to Tre, intensity pouring from BOTH of them. The crowd eats it up, naturally.]

MN: Oh ... boy.

ICE TRE: And if you feel like STEPPIN' to ME? We gon' STEP ... at BLACK DAWN.

[Another sizzling round of approval by the fans in attendance. Stalker just smirks at Tre, almost amused; unsure if there was ANYTHING about Tre to be taken seriously.]

ICE TRE: And I know you like doin' things YOUR way. Stalker's Rules. Well, Homie Don't Play That. We gon' do things MY way. On MY TERMS. CAGE MATCH.

DT: Oh my GOD! Is Ice Tre for REAL!?! He's challenging one of the most dangerous, hard-hitting, VIOLENT wrestlers not just in EPW, but in ANY promotion to one of the most dangerous ... hard-hitting ... VIOLENT matches in HISTORY?

ICE TRE: What'chu say, PUNK?

Stalker: Is this a joke?

[The crowd's cheering is almost deafening.]

Stalker: Did you just challenge me to a Cage match at Black Dawn?

[Ice gets ready to answer but Stalker throws his hand up.]

Stalker: Shut your bling bling, Tre. I don't know what the hell you’re thinking, but....

[A grin appears over his face.]

Stalker: I LIKE IT! You think you can merely step into my WORLD and leave it how you see fit, that ain't happening.... homie. You know it's punks like you that give Rocko Daymon a bad name and hell he already has a bad name. This isn't your world Tre. It's MINE! AND AT BLACK DAWN when you step into that cage with me and I destroy every OUNCE of your body THEN you will realize just how serious my world can be, *****. One last thing though... that crown you wear. IT's going to be on the line! That way, when I win I can give it back to it's rightful owner.

[Ice Tre gets ready to accept it but Stalker NAILS him with a quick kick to the gut that causes the crown to going rolling around the ring. Stalker hooks Tre and EVENFLOWS him straight to the mat. Ice Tre is laid out and Stalker kicks him over.]

Stalker: That was an early taste of my world. HOLLA!

[Slamming the mic down Stalker picks up the crown and lays it on Tre's helpless body, he then spits on him and exits the ring to a chorus of boos and thrown debris.]
 

DBrunkGXW

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Tenuous Arrangement

[CUT TO: Backstage @ the gorilla position. 'THE STALKER' JASON REEVES stepped through the curtain breathing heavily in an attempt to catch his breath after all of the energy he expanded a mere seconds earlier, at the expense of EPW superstar, Ice Tre. His adrenaline was pumping, sweat trickled down his face, and there was blood on his shirt- Ice Tre's blood on his shirt.]

STEVENS: Job well done, my friend.

[SFX: An overwhelming chorus of boos.

EPW World Champion, SEAN 'TRIPLE X' STEVENS stood in front of his "partner" amused at the sight of his anger. The reigning King of the Cage was dressed in a black 100% cotton, "Caitlyn Daymon - Camel Toe" t-shirt, and faded army fatigue shorts, with his EPW Championship wrapped snug around his waist. With his bad hand, he patted Reeves on the back, gently ... while handing him the now infamous briefcase filled with money with his good hand.]

STEVENS: When I made my 'State of the Union' I had no idea you'd get the job done so fast. Maybe I was wrong about you.

[Reeves opened the briefcase.]

Stalker: What's this about?

[Looking over the briefcase, and all of the neatly pessed one hundred dollar bills, he closes it then looks at Stevens.]

Stalker: I didn't take his crown, I left it on his stupid ass chest as a reminder of things to come at Black Dawn. Fact is man I can't even believe that ****ing kid challenged me like he did.

[The champion paused, looking on in disbelief.]

STEVENS: What do you mean you left it as a reminder? Are you f__king kidding me?! Let me see if I've got this straight ... you beat that punk's ass, you lay him out, you have MY crown in your possesion ... and, you LEAVE it!?! ...and, for all reasons as a REMINDER?!

[Triple X was pissed.]

STEVENS: Let's get one thing perfectly clear, Reeves. I don't trust YOU or this alliance, and I sure as hell don't appreciate you sticking your nose in my match last week against Adam Benjamin, like I needed the help, but I'm willing to be a team player. But, there has to be a compromise. F__K THE MIND GAMES! I am one of the baddest sons of *****es the wrestling industry has ever seen ... and, you? You're not so bad yourself. People like us shouldn't leave silly reminders ... we should be out there DESTROYING the competition and WINNING CHAMPIONSHIPS!

[He patted the EPW World Championship proudly.]

STEVENS: .... if we're going to be a team, all of that other sh_t has to go on the back burner, because you had better believe decisions like the one you made out there tonight is going to cost us when your boy Rocko decides to counter attack.

[Jason grins at Sean, looking down at the EPW World title.]

Stalker: Fact is, all you need to worry about my man is the three men that will be fighting tonight for a chance at your belt come Black Dawn. All that matters honestly is you got your **** you need to take care of and Ice Tre made it my business to take care of him AND that crown. I honestly don't care if you trust me or not because in the end you'll see that it's the best option. We have the same enemies, desire the same aspects of this business and go about it our own way. That is why I approached you to begin with. If you remember correctly I was a Hall of Famer when you were beginning your career. My mind games are the stuff of legends. I know what i'm doing.

[Jason then leans in to Sean Stevens.]

Stalker: And if you ever come at me like that again, and question me. WHEN YOU HAVE NO REASON TO... then our fresh alliance that we have will come to an end before it begins.

[Triple X took a step forward, these two "allies" were now toe-to-toe.]

STEVENS: ... F__K you, and this bullsh_t alliance.

Stalker: If that's the way you feel then so be it. But honestly, we both know we are stronger together then apart.

STEVENS: You're wrong. Do I need to remind you that before you decided to ride my coattails, I was the champion around here? You know what'll happen after you hop off of MY bandwagon? I'll still be the champion. I don't get anything out of being friends with the weirdo. I don't benefit from this alliance, YOU DO! Here you are, in the twilight of your career, riding the wave of a bullsh_t grudge that Rocko didn't even know you two had from seven years back. You wrestle ONE good match with Kin Hiroshi and LOSE, and all of a sudden you act like you call the shots around here. Like YOU'RE the world champion. Like YOU are the King of the Cage. This time last year you were in a homeless shelter, eating dog food! Last week *I* gave you an opportunity to hang with the champ, to rub elbows with the main eventers, to be associated with the best that this industry has to offer - injured wrist and all - and this week you want to act all Hollywood and ungrateful?! Like I said, f__k this alliance....

.... Let's see how far you get without me.

[Trip backpedaled.]

STEVENS: Good luck in your match against Caitlyn tonight. You're going to NEED it.

[Jason looks at Stevens and shakes his head. Surprised by his response he drops the breifcase on the ground, still shaking his head at the champ and walks away.]

Stalker: Good luck to you too, because if I'm going to need it, you're DEFINITELY going to need it.

[Fade....]
 

DBrunkGXW

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Olvir Arsvinnar vs. Ice Tre

Olvir Arsvinnar vs. Ice Tre

Yep, this was exactly what you’d think it would be. Olvir made a spectacular scene stealing entrance, still borrowing from Cloverfield as Empire Pro crew were forced to set up a series of small plastic renditions of buildings up and down the aisle. “Olvirfield” then proceeded to stomp his way through the model structures, pausing at the end to bellow into his horn. He scared the living daylights out of a five year old kid in the front row, by the way. Tre came down with his usual fanfare but had trouble affecting the big Viking with his ‘offense’. Olvir dominated the match physically, tossing the smaller Tre around the ring – although Tre managed to get Olvir into a tough spot when he leapt onto the big man’s back Princess Bride style and tried choking the Viking out. Unfortunately for Tre….Stalker, who wasn’t through with him yet, slid into the ring and waffled him with a chair before dropping the chair and hitting yet another Evenflow DDT. The referee began to disqualify Olvir(field), but Stalker threatened him, yelling at him to make the count. Olvir(field) stood with a single foot triumphantly on Ice Tre’s chest and posed as the referee did as he was told and counted the one, two, three. No one quite knows how Olvir managed to create a golden aura around himself – but there it was. Weird.

Winner: Olvir Arsvinnar
 

DBrunkGXW

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That's a really big Asian

DT: Folks, I’m told up next we’re gonna have a double tag team debut as two sets of newcomers face off here tonight. We’ve got one team already in the ring…

[Cut to a shot of the team in the ring, generic babyface types with plain trunks.]

MN: Well those guys certainly are flashy.

[CUE UP: “Murder Me Rachel” by THE NATIONAL. CUT TO: August De La Rossi slowly walking out of the EPW Titantron, wearing a Tour De France hat, red bandanaa around his neck, a T-Shirt reading “My economy went global and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt,” really skinny jeans, New Balance sneakers. August walks out, a smirk on his face, his hands over his head triumphantly as he walks the aisle.]

DT: Oh you’ve got to be kidding me….

MN: YES!!!

[De La Rossi raises a microphone to his mouth.]

AUGUST: “You know --” [The crowd starts booing as he whines into the microphone. The crowd then starts chanting “AUGUST SUCKS DICK! AUGUST SUCKS DICK!” August is flabbergasted and stops right outside the ring.] “That’s okay… I CAN WAIT!” [The crowd continues to boo and chant.] “Well, you’ve had your turn. You’ve all EXPOSED yourself yet again. You EPW fans have exposed yourselves once again to be nothing more than a bunch of slope-headed, uneducated HOMOPHOBIC Neanderthals! And while you boo me, while you yell out euphemisms about my sexual proclivities… ALLEGATIONS WHICH REMAIN UNFOUNDED, BY THE WAY… I am still here. Do you know why? Because YOU PEOPLE NEED ME! You people need someone to LEAD YOU. You people need someone to tell you how to live your lives. You people need someone like me… intelligent, artistic, always walking the cutting edge… to tell you what music to listen to, what magazines to read, what opinions to hold. Because you people… YOU PEOPLE ARE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD TODAY…

“People like you are why no-talent hacks like JOSH GROBIN and KELLY CLARKSON reign over the top of the charts while real artists of talent and acclaim like TED LEO AND THE PHARMACISTS remain unknown, except to the ears of discerning listeners and readers of PITCHFORK such as myself. People like you are why OUR CURRENT PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH has not yet been impeached from office! Why our troops, why our military… why they remain the oppressors of innocent foreign peoples….

“You people are why people around the world hate our country. You people are nothing more than a bunch of slaves, slaves to the capitalist system, slaves to the warped nightmare known as the AMERIKKKAN DREAM. Property is theft, and I am here to serve as your LIBERATOR! For I have brought with me my BROTHER in the fight for international socialism! A true partner who was CREATED to destroy the oppression in which we live under! He has been sent to the EPW by my PERSONAL GOOD FRIEND AND HERO KIM JONG IL TO FIGHT FOR THE LIBERATION OF YOUR MINDS…

“From the glorious republic of the true Korea nation NORTH KOREA… I bring you Socialism’s Iron Warrior… IIII BRRRINNNGGG YOUUU… CHULLLLLL SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.”

[CUE UP: Military marching music. The video screen shows pictures of NORTH KOREA -- people in soccer stadiums making synchronized movements, tanks, military figures, followed by a freeze-frame shot of KIM JONG IL. The crowd is booing these images. Then they are SILENCED as walking out from the back SNARLING is Chul Soo. He is 7’6”, 375-pounds, with a shaved head with long, unruly sideburns. He is wearing a military shirt adorned with red starts and medals. He looks around the crowd and growls like an animal, his giant hand extended outwards like an Iron Claw. August is hopping up and down, celebrating and applauding. Chul Soo finally walks to the ring apron. The nameless duo in the ring are freaking out at the size of this monster. He steps up to the ring apron and then steps over the ropes with ease.]

AUGUST: Ring the bell!

DT: Dear God, look at the size of that guy.

DM: That’s one very large Asian right there.

MN: I’m scurred!! Hold me, Dean-o!!

DM: Get off me!!

[The duo panic and stare at each other and attack Chul Soo to no effect. He effortlessly shoves them to the mat as De La Rossi simply leans against the turnbuckle and smiles. The two men once again charge the huge Korean and are met with two of the biggest hands in the world around their throats and a huge double chokeslam. Chul Soo calmly walks backward toward August De La Rossi, who climbs up onto Chul Soo’s shoulders with help from the turnbuckles and leaps off with a high flying Shooting Star Press onto both men…]

DT: My God!

Quick cover!!! On both men!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE!!

DM: Well I guess that was pretty much academic..

TF: Here are your winners….AUGUST DE LA ROSSI ….and CHUL….SOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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Cameron Cruise vs. Nakita Dahaka

Cameron Cruise vs. Nakita Dahaka

Apparently, Dahaka took Cruise’s personal insults during promotional week to heart. She pounded on him mercilessly to start the match and took him to the brink of unconsciousness with a few chokeholds released only when threatened with disqualification from the referee. Cruise managed to turn the tide mid-match, however and took the powerful Dahaka off her feet with a fisherman buster suplex that got a near fall. A flying knee from the top rope got a second near fall, but Dahaka was able to squirm her way free. After an elbow from the top by Cruise missed, it was Dahaka on the offensive with a choke slam and subsequent naked leg scissors choke that had Cruise almost out cold in the ring. Cruise however was able to get to the ropes and get free of the hold – and the end came when Dahaka sent Cruise to the ropes and attempted a boot to the face, which Cruise countered into a capture suplex and followed it up with a quick Reality Check on the rising Dahaka for the three count and a successful comeback match.

Winner: Cameron Cruise
 

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"The Phenom" Shawn Hart vs. Fusenshoff

DT: Up next, we’ve got a battle between a veritable legend of the ring and one of the brightest up-and-coming stars in the industry. “The Phenom” and Fusenhoff go one-on-one right here on Aggression!

MN: I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. You’re the world’s biggest dork.

DT: To Tony Fatora in the ring to get us set for our next matchup!

TF: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!

Introducing first…

[CUE UP: “Watching the Wheels” John Lennon, as the man known as the Phenom, Shawn Hart, makes his way from behind the curtain and down to the ring to the boos of the crowd.]

TF: Hailing from Orlando, Florida and weighing in at 225 pounds, he is “THE PHENOM” … SHAAAAAWWWNN HAAAAAARRT!!!!!

His opponent…

[“Watching the Wheels” fades, and “A Little Less Conversation” Elvis Presley kicks in as Fusenhoff strides through the curtain and walks authoritatively down the aisle, rolls into the ring and bounces off the ropes a couple times before heading into his corner and beginning to stretch.}

TF: Hailing from Kamloops, British Columbia and weighing in at 263 pounds … this is FUSENSHOOOOOOOFFFF!!!!

[SFX: Bell rings]

DT: The big man and the wily veteran are set, and here we go! Fusenshoff moves quickly to the center of the ring, and he locks up immediately with Hart and just powers him into the corner!

MN: Dude. You are way too excited for stuff like that.

DM: Some people like well-executed, old school mat wrestling Mike. Don’t you?

MN: Are you high, Deano? Have you not been listening to me for nearly four years? I’m like every other ADD riddled, hyped up nutjob watching on TV. I like crazy flying and BLOOOOOODDDD!!

[As Fusenshoff breaks cleanly in the corner and lets Hart go, the camera cuts to the broadcast table, where Dean grabs several cans from in front of Mike and begins throwing them into the crowd.]

MN: DUDE! What are you doing with my Red Bulls?

DM: No more caffeine for you, Mikey. I think you need to calm down a little.

MN: …

DM: Why didn’t you do that four years ago, Thomas?

DT: Because I have to actually watch the wrestling that’s taking place in front of me, unlike SOMEONE ELSE HERE!





Speaking of, Hart and Fusenshoff come together once again, and again a collar-and-elbow tie up. Hart looks to slip behind, but no! Fuse drove his right knee directly into Shawn Hart’s sternum! The big man whips Hart off the ropes … catches him with a perfect Japanese Arm Drag, and he flows through right into an armlock! Impressive technical wrestling from a man of his size.

DM: That’s what surprises you about Fusenshoff, Dave. He’s a big, powerful guy, but he’s got tremendous agility and wrestling acumen, and he can beat you any way he damn well pleases.

DT: Hart works his way back to vertical, and breaks free with a big elbow right to Fusenshoff’s midsection. He shoves Fuse off the ropes … clothesline on the rebound … no! Hart ducked under it, but now he turns around straight into a headlock takeover by Fusenshoff!

Hart’s shoulders are on the mat…

ONE…

And the Phenom leg-scissors his way off the mat to break the count and force Fuse to break the hold, but this impressive young athlete is having his way in the ring right now with Shawn Hart.

MN: Davey, you are the only man on the planet that can make a sport where half-naked, oiled-up muscleheads in spandex tights roll around with each other on the ground seem even gayer than it appears to the naked eye.

DM: You know, Neels, I think it’s just a gift.

DT: Hart rolls to his feet, but he’s immediately met with a forearm from his opponent! And another! And one more backs the Phenom into the corner! Fusenshoff grabs his arm … and he just whipped Hart post to post! Hart staggers out of the corner … OH MY!!! Flying back elbow from Fusenshoff, and he soared through the air with ease! He floats over for a pin…

ONE..

AND A HALF! Not enough to put this one away, not by a long shot.

MN: It’s been like sixty-three seconds. You always seem so surprised when these little dinky moves don’t knock people out.





I THINK YOU’RE THE STUPID ONE!

DM: No. You’re the stupid one, Mikey. It’s been scientifically proven.

DT: Fusenshoff continues to lay in the blows to the back of Shawn Hart. Now he pulls the former TV champ to his feet … front facelock, and he lifts him for the suplex … but Hart floats through and winds up behind the big man … and blasts him with a forearm to the back of the neck!

MN: Neckbusta, dude.

DT: Fuse stumbles into the ropes … and as he bounces off, Shawn Hart clipped the leg and puts the big man down on all fours…

MN: Like you, in your hotel last Thursday.

DT: … and Hart hits the ropes and comes off with a BRUTAL kick that connected squarely on the Hoff’s left shoulder!

DM: The Hoff? Somebody watched the stupid Knight Rider remake.

DT: The Phenom measures the big man up…

MN: I’d say about 6’3”, 260-something.

DT: … and he drops the point of his knee directly onto Fusenshoff’s shoulder! Fuse pulls himself to his knees … big Yakuza kick straight to the face flattens him, and Fusenshoff flopped right on his face!

MN: Ouchie to the max.

DM: “Ouchie to the max”? Are you living in 1992?

MN: Pretty much. Now, can we hurry up? I’ve got some Zubaz pants in the dryer at the hotel.

DT: Hart taking his time, and he is laying VERY heavy boots onto Fusenshoff’s left shoulder. Dean, he’s attempting to rip that arm out of its socket!

DM: I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. This is absolute textbook Shawn Hart. The man is one of the very best in the history of this business at picking a limb and absolutely dissecting it. You know he’s got that vicious Fujiwara armbar in his arsenal, and he’s setting it up so that when he clamps it on, this baby’s over.

DT: Hart pulls Fusenshoff to his feet … but the big man fires back! A right hand! And a big knife-edged chop! Now an irish whip … but Hart ducks the clothesline! Phenom on the rebound … SPINNING HEEL KICK! And now Hart is straight back to work, torquing on that left arm with a modified keylock.

MN: Why is it called a keylock?

DM: Because you touch yourself at night, Mikey.

MN: Oh. Awesome!

DT: Hart is wrenching on that arm, and now he’s posting up so that his knee is directly on that left shoulder! This has got to be putting Fuse in a tremendous amount of pain. The big man’s trying to fight back, and he throws a couple of weak punches that barely connect.

DM: This is a bad, bad position for Fusenshoff to be in right now. Not only is he in tremendous pain, but there’s really nothing he can do offensively.

DT: Fusenshoff is pounding the mat with his feet, shaking violently, and he manages to get Hart’s knee of that shoulder, at least removing some of the pressure. Hart wrenches again … but Fuse kips up! What a tremendous show of agility to get to his feet! But, Hart’s still got that keylock on tight … NOT ANYMORE!!! The big man managed to break free with a modified overhead suplex!

MN: Sweetness.

DM: Concise if nothing else, Mikey.

DT: Fusenshoff showing some signs of fire, as he lays into the Phenom with some nasty forearms! He backs Hart into the corner … and he fires off an elbow that nails Shawn Hart directly in the side of the head! Irish whip … and Hart goes post to post! Fusenshoff with a head of steam … Hart pulls himself up and Fuse’s already damaged left shoulder coliides with the post! Hart now rolls … directly into a pin!

ONE…

TWO…

NOT QUITE YET!!!

DM: Hart with a modified sunset flip from the second rope, that just goes to show how much agility and instinct the Phenom still has after more than a decade in the spotlight

MN: I just love WHACKY LUCHA PINS!

DT: Fuse scrambles to his feet, but the Phenom is too quick! Kneelift connects squarely with the big man’s temple … and Hart follows through with a quick wristlock takeover straight into another modified armbar!

DM: He’s got the left arm hooked, and he’s also planted that knee directly on the shoulderblade to apply even more pressure. This guy’s arm is going to be hanging by a thread by the time this match comes to an end.

DT: Fusenshoff is fighting this move, but Hart is using all of his weight to keep the big man grounded. Fuse is turning, using his weight to try and shift towards the ropes…

MN: No chance. He’s gotta tap.

DT: Still reaching…

MN: There! He tapped! I heard it!

DM: He didn’t tap, Mikey. Somebody behind us dropped an empty Coke cup.

MN: Awww, man! I could’ve stolen that empty Coke cup and used it for beer!

DT: Fuse is sliding himself towards the ropes … and he gets his foot on the bottom cable and the former TV champ is going to be forced to break!

FANS: ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

DT: And Shawn Hart breaks just before referee David Rosenkrantz would’ve disqualified him at the count of five!

MN: Thank you, Burgerman, for explaining to us the Rules of Professional Wrestling.

DT: Hart looking to head right back on the attack, but Fusenshoff beats him to the punch! And a chop!

FANS: WHOOOOOOO!

DT: And another!

FANS: WHOOOOOOO!

DT: And one more!

MN: WHOOOOOO!

DM: [shakes head] You are such a dork, Neely.

MN: Don’t knock it til you try it, Deano.

DT: Fusenshoff with the irish whip … and a MONSTROUS powerslam on the rebound! He covers…

ONE…

TWO…

TWO POINT FIVE!!! Shawn Hart got the shoulder up, but Fusenshoff is going right back to work! He scoops the Phenom up … FALLAWAY SLAM!!! Even with that bum left shoulder, he fired Shawn Hart three-quarters of the way across the ring!

MN: Dude, Air Phenom.

DT: Fusenshoff now headed up top, is this the wisest strategy for the big man?

DM: Well, if it works, then yeah, Dave, it is.

DT: Big man up top … FROG SPLASH CONNECTS!!!! TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY THREE POUNDS JUST LANDED ON SHAWN HART FROM TEN FEET UP!!! This one’s got to be over…

ONE…

TWO…

THRRRRNOOOO!!!! Oh so close!

MN: I thought he had been squished!

DT: Hart gets to his feet, Fuse spins around … INSIDE CRADLE BY THE PHENOM!!! And he puts his feet on the ropes!

ONE…

TWO…

THREEE!!! Shawn Hart just cheated his way to – NO! David Rosenkrantz just saw the Phenom’s feet on the ropes and broke the count, and Shawn Hart is, let’s just say, mildly perturbed.

MN: He’s gonna molest children because the ref caught him trying to cheat?

DM: One: No. Two: Ewww.

DT: Hart is arguing with the ref … Fusenshoff quickly to his feet! He hooks Hart from behind … RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!!! Another HUGE throw by the big man from British Columbia!

DM: And I think he might be going for the biggest one of all.

DT: Fuse is signaling for the Domination … he pulls Hart up … HART REVERSES!!! He locked in a triangle choke in midair, and he’s choking the life out of Fusenshoff! Fuse is being pulled to the ground … and Hart transitions smoothly into the Fujiwara Armbar! This has to be it!

MN: I think the big dude’s dead already.

DT: Hart is cranking … but he’s too close to the ropes! Fusenshoff somehow, someway got his right hand onto the bottom rope, and Shawn Hart is in absolute disbelief!

DM: Uhhh, me too, Davey.

DT: Hart arguing with the referee once again … rolled up by Fusenshoff!

ONE…

TWO…

THREEE!!! NO! TWO POINT NINE! Hart rolls to his feet … WHISKEY BOMB … BLOCKED!!! Hart slips away! Fuse with the big boot … SWING AND A MISS!!!! Hart slips through … HART ATAAAAAAAAAAA-NOOOOO!!! Fuse shoved him off … Hart bounces off the ropes … and a reverse rolling cradle by the big man!

ONE…

TWO…

THREEE!!!!! YES! Fusenshoff pulls out a hard-earned win over Shawn Hart, and the Phenom can’t believe it!

TF: The winner of the match, by pinfall … FUUUUUUUUUUUSENSHOOOOOOOOFFFF!!!!

DM: What an incredible last few moments, and Fusenshoff showed some incredible agility to pull this one out!

DT: Dean, walk us through the replay.

[CUT TO: Several replay angles of the last ten seconds of the match.]

DM: Shawn Hart thinks he’s got that cravate locked in for the Hart Attack, but the big man just had too much energy left, shoved the Phenom off and rolled through with a sweet reverse cradle, and it’s just tough to kick out when you’ve got 263 pounds on top of you.

MN: Yeah, but I don’t think Shawn Hart’s all that happy with that ending.

DT: Fusenshoff is standing on the top rope, raising his arms in victory … and Shawn Hart waffled him in the back with a steel chair! And another, as the big man crumples to the mat! Fusenshoff tries to get to his feet … CHAIRSHOT TO THE BACK!!!! And, damn it! NO! Shawn Hart is ramming that chair over and over onto the big man’s damaged left shoulder!

DM: This is just wrong. Shawn Hart has been on a bit of a losing streak recently, and I think he might’ve just snapped.

MN: And I think he might snap Fuse’s arm, too.

DT: Hart pulls Hoff to his feet … OH MY LORD!!! HART ATTACK ON THE CHAIR!!!! Fusenshoff is out cold, and his face was busted wide open by that vicious Hart Attack on the steel chair, and just look at Shawn Hart smile at the carnage he’s caused!

[Referees, agents and security finally make their way to the ring and pull Hart away. The Phenom backs off, smiling as he walks up the ramp.]

DT: What a heinous display by Shawn Hart, who laid out Fusenshoff just because of a childish tantrum. Fusenshoff won the match, but the Phenom just won the first major battle of this war. We need to get Fusenshoff some medical treatment, so we’ll be back in just a moment, folks.
 

DBrunkGXW

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Messages
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What If?

[Cut to DARKNESS. There is one voice, strong and deep. It pierces the silence like the sharpest of blades.]

V/O: Have you ever wondered ... What If?

[There is a glint, a glimmer. Of what, it is impossible to tell.]

V/O: What if the unthinkable ... became reality? What if you discovered that everything you thought you knew was a lie?

[Another flash of ... something.]

V/O: Discovered that the wrestling world had been turned upside down in an instant.

[Another.]

V/O: In a flash. What if the rules were rewritten? If 3 of the industry's most celebrated talents were also 3 of the industry's most unlikely allies??

[Another flash. The view pans back to the brightening graphic. A single Question Mark, massive and metallic, it spun slowly in place.]

V/O: What if the unlikely became the undeniable? Would it surprise you?

[Slowly, the Question Mark came to rest.]

V/O: Would you be ready even if you hadn't been warned?

[Cut to DARKNESS for a moment and the the letters T...H...C appear.]

Fadeout.
 

DBrunkGXW

Consigliere
Joined
Sep 11, 1997
Messages
4,814
Points
36
Age
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Location
Katy, TX
Stalker vs. Caitlyn Daymon - Stalker's Rules

DT: Well fans, this upcoming match was arranged at our last edition of Aggression, and it carries a bit of a twist…

DM: That’s right, Dave. By order of Dan Ryan himself, none of the men involved in the main event tonight may interfere in this match, or they will forfeit their place in tonight’s contest to crown the number one contender.

MN: I’m always a fan of seeing ladies get slapped around, so that stipulation ain’t a bad thing in my eyes.

DT: On the other hand, if things go wrong for Caitlyn Daymon, nobody—notably, her husband Rocko—will be able to come to her aid.

[“Freya” by The Sword plays over the PA. To a display of red lights and a video package highlighting her antics with her husband, Caitlyn Daymon steps out onto the stage, bears a wry smile as she poses for the fans, and makes her way to the ring.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Stalker’s Rules match set for one fall. Introducing first… from Tacoma, Washington… HERE IS… CCAAAIIITTTLYYYNN DDAAAYYYMMOOOONN!!!

DT: Caitlyn Daymon is coming alone to the ring, throwing herself to the wolves, or THE wolf, so to speak… and I have to wonder, what cruel fate awaits her at the hands of her sadistic opponent?

DM: Let’s not be pessimistic here, Dave. Stalker might think he’s the cream of the crop by throwing around a bunch of tables and chairs… but Caitlyn Daymon at least has wrestling skill. Plus, considering that “spat” with her husband at Wrestlestock, I think we can safely assume that she can take a fair amount of punishment.

MN: Bounce… bounce… bounce…

DM: Just keep your eyes above the waistline, Mike…

[‘Did my Time’ by Korn blares over the PA system as Stalker comes from behind the curtains staring at Caitlyn and smiling.]

TF: And now her oppenent… from Seattle, Washington, HERE IS… STTAAAAAALLLKEEEEEERRRR!!!

[Stalker slides under the bottom ropes and makes his way towards Caitlyn.]

DT: Stalker is circling Caitlyn who’s standing in the middle of the ring. He has a giant grin on his face, like he is looking at a thanksgiving dinner.

DM: Man… this is going to be bad.

MN: Bad? She put herself out there to face this maniac, in the end anything she gets she deserves.

DM: I see you are sucking up to him now.

MN: I do what I have to do.

DT: Well it looks as if Stalker is now waiting for Caitlyn to make the first move. He is standing in the corner now just watching her.

DM: She is watching him as well. Stalker is just grinning at her and she has a look of sheer anger on her face.

MN: Yawn This is getting extremely boring. Somebody do something.

DT: Caitlyn crouches down and charges at Stalker, who quickly goes through the ropes and drops down to the outside. Caitlyn bracing herself on the turnbuckle looks down at him confused.

DM: He’s shaking his finger at her. What a prick.

MN: Looks like he has more planned then just shaking his finger. He’s lifting up the apron and pulling out a chair. He tosses it in the ring as he is grinning at her.

DM: This is not going to be a good thing. He has another chair and tosses that one into the ring as well.

DT: Stalker is still just grinning at her as he is pulling out these various weapons. Now.. he has.. a ladder?

DM: Yeah he’s pulling it out now and having a hard time yanking it free. OH MY…

DT: Caitlyn just vaulted herself off the top ropes and splashed herself onto Stalker! His body just crumpled on top of that ladder. And Caitlyn quickly shrugging off the hard fall is back on her feet and wailing away at Stalker with kicks to the back of the head.

DM: She kneels down next to him and grabs his hair, Caitlyn is yelling something into his ear as she SLAMS his head face first into the ladder. AGAIN! And AGAIN!

MN: Oh my god she isn’t stopping. Stalker is getting his head smashed into the rungs of the ladder, over and over and over. Blood is already spewing out of a cut that opened over his right eye.

DM: She yanks him off the ladder, gets on top of him and starts laying her fists into his face. Caitlyn is screaming at Stalker with every fist she lays into his face.

DT: Getting up now she picks up the bloody Stalker and rolls him into the ring. He’s not moving and he is breathing extremely heavy. Caitlyn works on the ladder some more and finally yanks it free from under the ring. She slides it in and climbs in the ring herself.

MN: This match may be over before we even realize it.

DM: Have you forgotten Wrestlestock? Didn’t the Hiroshi/Stalker match last for almost an hour?

MN: Whatever.

DT: Focus, guys. Caitlyn is now looking down at Stalker almost planning what she is going to do next.

MN: She is giving him too much time.

DM: Caitlyn is not used to this, Mike. Now she looks like she has something planned. She opens the ladder up while it’s on the ground, picks up Stalker and drops him face first in the open ladder. Caitlyn grabs the top part of the ladder and brings it CRASHING down against the back of Stalker’s head.

DT: Stalker is in a bad spot now and Caitlyn knows it. She lifts up part of the ladder again and SLAMS it down on Stalker’s head yet again. He looks to be completely out of it. Caitlyn climbs out onto the apron, grabs hold of the ropes, hops up.. SPRINGBOARD LEG DROP onto the closed LADDER!

DM: Wow.

MN: Double Wow.

DM: Triple Wow.

MN: Quadipple Wow.

DM & DT: Quadipple?

MN: Anyways, Caitlyn looks like she hurt her leg on that move.

DM: Yeah this might not bode well for her, if she wants to win this she needs to take him out now.

DT: That might be her plan right now. She pulled Stalker out from under the ladder and is now setting up the ladder in the corner. Stalker is crawling towards the ropes trying to get use them to help himself up.

MN: Caitlyn sees him!

DM: She runs over and pulls Stalker up from behind hair first…. Wait, is he smiling?

DT: Caitlyn spins him around grabs his arm and whips… NO he reverses it and sends Caitlyn FLYING into the ladder!! Dear god she just crushed herself against that ladder.

DM: Yeah she’s lying crumpled on the mat as Stalker has dropped to his knees and is just smiling at her. She is screaming in pain as she holds her back.

MN: What’s this maniac thinking, doing that to a woman?

DT: She agreed to wrestle him like you said. This is what she has to deal with.

DM: Stalker’s picked up a chair now. He’s slowly walking towards her fallen body, he lifts the chair up and nails her square on the back! She screams in agony again as she crawls away from him.

DT: Stalker kicks her in the back of the head, but she still continues to crawl towards the ropes.

MN: This match needs to be called now.

DM: Don’t count her out just yet, she’s got a lot of fight in her.

MN: Against an animal like this? I don’t think so.

DT: Caitlyn reaches her arm out for the ropes and Stalker uses the chair and slams it down on her arm! She spins on to her back and is grabbing her arm in sheer pain. She is kicking at him to get him away from her and he is just looking down at her smiling.

DM: Stalker sets up the chair in the middle of the ring and picks Caitlyn up who is struggling to get free. He slams his arm down on her back to gain control of her and whips her into the ropes, Drop toe… NO! She skips over his attempt, hops on the chair, and again… TRIPLE JUMP MOONSAULT right into Stalker and they both crash on the mat!

[The crowd begins a small chant of ‘Holy ****’]

MN: That… was amazing.

DT: This match can’t last much longer, we’ve seen Stalker go to hell and back with Hiroshi, but Caitlyn Daymon is not Hiroshi.

DM: I agree and as of right now, neither wrestler looks like they will be able to continue.

MN: If that’s the case we can all thank Caitlyn’s camel toe for her great performance tonight.

DT & DM: NEELY!!!!!!

MN: All I did was thank Caitlyn’s camel toe for her great performance tonight, it looked to be in tip top shape. For a camel toe that is.

DM: I swear….

DT: Well anyways back in the ring it looks like Caitlyn is finally starting to get to her feet. After that assault by Stalker I don’t see how she pulled off what she did but she seems primed for more.

DM: Grabbing Stalker by the hair and lifting him up she reaches her hand back and slaps him directly across the face.

MN: That wasn’t smart.

DT: No.. I don’t think it was. Stalker is now fully aware after being slapped and is staring her down with blood covering almost his entire face. Caitlyn tries to kick him in the gut but he pushes her leg down and OH a right hand from Stalker sends Caitlyn flat to the mat.

DM: Stalker kneels down next to her and lands another right to the back of her head, followed by ANOTHER! Climbing back to his feet now, he has Caitlyn by her hair, he sets her up and WHIPS her into the ladder in the corner.

MN: Ouch.

DT: Yelping in pain as she bounces off the ladder, she stumbles forward right into a waiting Stalker and he pops her back with an uppercut to the jaw. Caitlyn’s real staggered now and Stalker quickly swoops behind her, hooks her, RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP INTO THE LADDER!

MN: Do you guys think that he may have been playing with her this whole time? Letting her waste her energy thinking she had the upper hand?

DM: I wouldn’t go as far as to say that.

MN: You’re right the camel toe is definitely not a push over.

[Dave Thomas reaches over to Neely’s microphone and rips the cord out from the table tearing it apart.]

DT: Folks Mike Neely is currently experiencing technical difficulties and will be unable to commentate for the rest of the match.

DM: Thank god.

DT: Caitlyn is crumpled on the mat and Stalker is looking over her…. He looks like a damn psychopath.

DM: He’s picking up a chair and Caitlyn is getting to her knees. Stalker kicks her back down to the ground, lifts the chair above his head and brings it CRASHING down on her back.

DT: She’s yelling out in agony now and Stalker slams the chair down on her back again! He’s just toying with her now.

DM: A THIRD chair strike… a FOURTH!! Caitlyn is just being turned into pudding…

MN: Why the hell’d you unplug me, assclowns!

DT: Welcome back, Mike… back to the action in the ring, the death toll is sounding for Caitlyn Daymon… Stalker sets the chair on the mat, and now he’s bringing her to her feet! Could this be it?

DM: I think so! EVENFLOW!!! EVENFLOW, HEAD-FIRST ON THE STEEL CHAIR!!

MN: BAM!! I bet she hasn’t taken a shot to the forehead like that since her honeymoon with Rocko!

DT: This one is over, folks… but wait a second, what’s this? Stalker brings her BACK TO HER FEET?!

DM: Adding insult to injury! He’s setting her up over the chair again… and a SECOND EVENFLOW!!

DT: GOD IN HEAVEN, is he trying to KILL her?!

MN: Maybe, Dave. We know he really, really, REALLY doesn’t like Rocko Daymon.

DM: Here’s Stalker with the cover…

DT: It’s about time he showed some mercy…

One!!

TWO!!

NO!! HE JUST STOOD UP!!

DM: What the HELL?! Why doesn’t he just finish this!

MN: Cause the ho hasn’t suffered enough! Man, can’t you guys think of this yourselves, or am I the only one here who can think INSANE!

DT: I’m sure 80% of your thoughts are insane to begin with, Mike, so I’m not terribly surprised at that. What DOES surprise me, is Stalker’s continuing this match, although considering it’s a Stalker’s Rules match, I guess he can do whatever he wants.

DM: The referee is getting on Stalker’s case about breaking the pin… OH NO!! Stalker just grabs him by the head and TOSSES HIM out of the ring! Now he’s going after the OFFICIALS, that no-talent bastard!

DT: Apparently, this match isn’t over until Stalker says it is. Now it’s Stalker alone in the ring with Caitlyn Daymon… and as we discussed before, NOBODY can come to her aid now! She is at the mercy of that sadist standing in the ring!

DM: Stalker, picking up that chair again!

DT: OH NO, COME ON!!

[*CRACK!!*]

DT: STALKER JUST HIT HER WITH THE CHAIR AGAIN!! MY GOD, that was RIGHT IN THE HEAD!!

DM: And he ain’t done yet!!

[*CRACK!! CRACK!! CRACK!!*]

DT: Somebody STOP HIM!! He’s KILLING HER!!

MN: He isn’t killing anybody! He’s just sending a message!

DM: Pretty harsh message, if you ask me! Caitlyn is just a bruised mess in the middle of the ring, and Stalker is THOROUGHLY unhinged right now!

DT: FINALLY, he drops the chair… but now he’s asking for a mic!

DM: Dang… I cringe every time I listen to this guy talk.

[Stalker goes to the ropes facing the entry-way and points right at the stage, ignoring the vehemently booing crowd around him.]

Stalker: ROCKO!!

MN: Uh-oh…

DT: I had a feeling it would come to this!

[Stalker fervently runs a hand through his stringy black hair, getting impatient.]

Stalker: I KNOW you’re back there watching this, Otter Boy, so if you know what’s best for your WIFE, YOU’LL GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW!!!

[“Death Is This Communion” by High On Fire promptly hits the PA, and the audience POPS as a very angry Rocko Daymon, in wrestling attire, appears on the stage, holding a mic. His eyes, full of white-hot rage, are fixated on the man in the ring.]

Rocko: Reeves, you unbelievable coward! What’s between you and me has NOTHING to do with her! If you want to settle this, you’ll let her go… NOW!

[Stalker ponders this.]

Stalker: Hm… well, okay Rocko, if you insist.

DT: Did I just hear that?

DM: Come on, he’s gotta be kidding…

[To everyone’s amazement, Stalker helps Caitlyn to her feet and gently leads the hurt woman to the ropes… suddenly grasping her arm and FLATTENING her with a clothesline.
The audience BOOS LOUDLY as Stalker whips around to face Rocko again.]

Stalker: YOU ****ING MORON!!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE telling me what to do! I’M the one making the demands around here, and this ***** doesn’t leave the ring until YOU GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!!

DT: I don’t believe this! Stalker is holding Caitlyn Daymon for RANSOM!!

DM: And Rocko is completely powerless in this situation. The match, to my understanding, is STILL happening… and if Daymon so much as enters that ring, he can say goodbye to all his hopes and dreams of going into Black Dawn for a shot at the title!

MN: Not a bad scheme, actually.

DT: That’s a horrible thing to say, Mike!

MN: Well, hey! Maybe Rocko now regrets blowing off Stalker all those times!

[Rocko shakes as he tries to control his rage and restrain the urge to sprint into the ring and smash Stalker’s face with his bare hands. He keeps his poise… and raises the mic again, speaking very clear and quietly.]

Rocko: What do you want, Jason?

[Stalker squints.]

Stalker: What do I want?

[His eyes suddenly bulge and he STOMPS HARD onto the mat in a sudden fit of rage!]

Stalker: WHAT DO I WANT?!

I WANT WHAT’S MINE!! I WANT MY REVENGE!! I WANT to silence the voices of doubt and humiliation that have haunted me for the past SEVEN YEARS!! I WANT this ENTIRE WORLD to recognize me as the most DANGEROUS MAN IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!! I WANT Scarlett Johansson to use my face as a BIKE SEAT while I wipe my ass with $100 bills!!

MN: Hey, me too!

DT: Shut up, Mike!

Stalker: What I WANT, Rocko… is YOU!!

I want YOU in a LAST MAN STANDING match… just like our last dance, seven years ago…
I want to break your face open… and leave you a crippled, bleeding mess that even your own mother wouldn’t recognize…

And I WANT IT AT BLACK DAWN!!

[The crowd stirs restlessly as Rocko rolls his eyes and raises the mic.]

Rocko: Rest assured, Stalker… you’ll get your match. You’ve been asking to get beat like a rented mule for quite a while now. But the fact of the matter is, if I win tonight against JA and Kin Hiroshi… I’m going into Black Dawn to compete for the title. If that happens, Reeves, then you’re just going to have to wait.

[Stalker looks dumbstruck.]

Stalker: …wait? You’re asking me… to WAIT!?! YOU THINK I’M ****ING AROUND HERE!!

[Angrily, Stalker drops the mic and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a hand-held device…]

DM: What is that…?

DT: Oh my GOD!!

[The camera zooms in on the object to reveal a BOX CUTTER! Stalker extends the blade to show it’s real. He holds it up for the audience, then finally to Rocko… before stooping down to Caitlyn and DRAWING IT ACROSS THE SIDE OF HER FACE!! Caitlyn SHRIEKS as the blade slices into her cheek! Rocko’s eyes widen in PANIC and he takes a step toward the ring… but forces himself to a stop, knowing his title shot is in jeopardy.]

DT: GOOD GOD IN HEAVEN, HE’S CUTTING HER!! THAT SADISTIC BASTARD JUST CUT OPEN A DEFENSELESS WOMAN!!

DM: Man, oh man, the censors are going to burn our asses for that one…

MN: A bit over-the-top, but HEY, it’s entertainment, right?

DT: OH CUT THE CRAP, Mike! There is NO justification for what that insane man just did!!

DM: Rocko can only sit and watch as this MANIAC tears his wife to pieces! I bet he’s REALLY regretting his decision to allow her to compete in this match!

[Stalker picks up the mic again, holding up the crimson-stained blade for the audience to see.]

Stalker: SEE THAT, ROCKO?! That’s what I call a TIP OF THE ICEBERG!! I’LL CUT HER FACE TO RIBBONS if you so much as THINK I’m willing to wait on this one! Then you can live with the guilt of leaving your wife MAIMED because you wanted your worthless title shot!

[Stone-faced, Rocko slowly makes his way down the ring. The audience grows a few decibels louder as the anticipation builds. Daymon comes to a stop right next to the ring, his eyes burning daggers into the man standing in the ring.]

Stalker: Come on, Rocko… you think you’re being brave by just standing there, doing NOTHING?? Your wife needs you, and all you can do is sit there and look angry! What does that say about YOU, Rocko? Are you REALLY the kind of man that would put a TITLE SHOT before his WIFE?!

DM: Interesting point…

DT: I can’t believe Stalker is forcing him to CHOOSE between Caitlyn’s well-being and a shot at the title!

MN: He may not even EARN that shot tonight! Caitlyn could be taking this mauling for nothing, just because Rocko refuses to step down from his high horse and do the RIGHT thing.

DT: There’s no “right” in this, Mike…

Stalker: I’M GETTING IMPATIENT, Rocko!! COME ON!! Get your ass in here… FIGHT ME!! Fight for your WOMAN!! Or maybe you’re GIDDY over the prospect of having your balls licked by a JIGSAW PUZZLE!!

[Caitlyn, from her place on the mat, suddenly lunges up and tries to grab the mic from Stalker’s hand.]

Caitlyn: NO, ROCKO!! DON’T LISTEN—

[WHAM!! Stalker knocks her away with a hard SLAP to the face, sending her sprawling back to the mat in a heap. Daymon’s eyes are again filled with panicked concern for Caitlyn.]

Stalker: You’re only holding out for a title that you only have a CHANCE to win… and a very small one at that. But I have a newsflash for ya: that BELT isn’t your destiny, Rocko… I AM!!! I AM YOUR DESTINY, whether you choose to accept it or not!! NOW ****ING GET IN HERE AND FACE YOUR FEAR!!!

[Rocko approaches the apron as the audience lets out a mixed reaction… and finally, he raises the mic.]

Rocko: No, Jason…

[HUGE surprise reaction from the audience. Even Stalker seems taken aback.]

DT: WHAT?! Is he just going to LEAVE HER IN THERE at the hands of that LUNATIC?!

MN: Man, what a punk…

[Rocko points at Stalker, his expression growing angry again.]

Rocko: You think you can control me with FEAR? You think hiding in dark corners and terrorizing this ring when nobody expects it gives you the power to take anything you want? **** THAT!!

I’m not going to be bent by your threats, Reeves, you freaking psycho! If you can’t learn to work your way up to MY level for the right to face me, then that’s YOUR problem! But little do you realize that the more you try and cut me down with this psychological warfare, the stronger I become…

You’re not going to accomplish anything if you continue this. All you’re going to do is piss me off beyond all belief… and when it comes time to pay the piper, I’m going to make those seven years you keep *****ing about seem like HEAVEN compared to the hell I’m gonna put you through…

[Daymon tosses the mic aside and stands perfectly still, bracing himself for the grisly scene that awaits him, no matter how painful it will be to stand idly by and watch the love of his life brutalized in the ring.]

DT: I don’t believe it…!!

DM: He’s got balls, I’ll give him that… but probably lacking in brains.

DT: Parents, if you have small children in the room, tell them to BEAT IT!!

[Stalker’s expression slowly changes from shock to sheer rage… and with FURY, he raises the box-cutter again…]

[…and suddenly DROPS IT!]

DT: WAIT!! What’s this?!

[Quickly, Stalker takes a handful of Caitlyn’s hair, yanks her to her feet, and VIOLENTLY throws her over the ropes to the outside! Rocko is INSANTLY beneath her, catching her before she can topple to the mat and setting her back on her feet, holding his hand against her bleeding cheek. The two make their way back up the ramp.]

Stalker: HEY ROCKO!!

[The husband and wife duo stop in their tracks and turn back to the ring. Stalker flashes his usual sadistic grin.]

Stalker: Good luck tonight!

[“Did My Time” comes over the PA once again as Stalker drops the mic and falls into a corner, sitting by himself as Rocko curses him on the ramp and leads Caitlyn to the backstage area.]

DT: Well, THANKFULLY, this tense situation has come to a somewhat peaceful ending… although I’m sure the battle between Rocko Daymon and Stalker is far from over.
DM: Daymon dodged a bullet there… and now he’s got everything riding on his shoulders going into tonight’s main event. If he can’t overcome the seemingly unstoppable momentum of Kin Hiroshi and the uncanny talent of JA, Stalker’s never going to let him hear the end of it. Even worse, all THIS will have been for nothing.

DT: That’s just the price a man will pay to earn his shot at the EPW World Heavyweight Title. This entire thing is about to boil over, but we’ve got more action on the way. We’ll be back after this commercial break, fans, so don’t go away!
 

DBrunkGXW

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During Commercial...

[The match was a grueling one for her, as tough as she is, CAITLYN DAYMON is not a wrestler and will never be.]

REFEREE #1: Be careful with her neck, there may be damage, be gentle!

[As Caitlyn lay motionless in the ring, the EMTs place a brace around her neck, and begin to place her body on a stretcher, as she slowly begins to show signs of life.]

REFEREE #2: Caitlyn! Caitlyn be still! We don't want to risk any further damage.

REFEREE #1: Ms. Daymon ... PLEASE ... STOP RESISTING!

[Maybe it was pride, maybe it was the adrenaline rush that came as a result of the thunderous "CAITLYN!" chant that shook the building to it's core ... but, whatever the reason, Caitlyn refused to be stretchered up the aisle, opting instead to walk on her own two feet, with slight assistance from the officials.]

REFEREE #2: Walk slowly Caitlyn, keep your neck stiff...

[The two officials guide Caitlyn up the ramp, onto the stage, as the three individuals approach the curtain when SUDDENLY a foot nails Caitlyn DIRECTLY on the chin, as she flies backwards onto the stage almost falling off, as the referees rush to her aid...

... as the attacker reveals himself.]

[CUE: Thunderous chorus of BOOS.]

[EPW World Heavyweight Champion 'TRIPLE X' SEAN STEVENS steps through the curtain smirking, admiring his work, as the stretcher is officially put to use. Eight EMTs approach the now unconcious Caitlyn Daymon with an oxygen mask in an attempt to revive her.

The crowd begins to throw garbage onto the stage, with some of it successfully nailing it's target.

Stevens pulled a microphone out of his back pocket, as he walked closer to Caitlyn standing directly over her body.]

STEVENS: Hey Kate ... when the doctors put the dentures in, and you recover from the concussion, do me a favor and THANK your husband for landing you in this predicament.

[Stevens kneeled down, his spit landing on her face as he talked.]

STEVENS: Tell him that I don't do too well to authority, commands or threats. Tell him that he doesn't have the HEART to take the EPW Championship from me. And, you be sure to tell him that I hope to GOD that he's my opponent at Black Dawn, so I can end his career!

[The champion tosses the microphone down on the floor, busting it in two, as he walked back up the stage. Suddenly, another figure walks through the curtain - 'The Stalker' Jason Reeves. The two men stare each other down, nose- to- nose, until Reeves smirks, and Sean extends his hand. It was a set-up. And, the two men, the two warriors, the two gladiators walked through the curtain toward the backstage area knowing full well that they fooled the world.]
 

DBrunkGXW

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Troy Douglas Makes Up His Mind

[EPW backstage reporter stands in front of the Aggression interview set with Troy Douglas, wearing a black t-shirt over his ring gear.]

KL: I’m here with Troy Douglas, who has an ultimatum set on him by EPW and A1E owner Dan Ryan. Troy, you’ve been very vocal with your distaste for Mr. Ryan’s actions over the past few months, but tonight, if you don’t promise to stay out of his business, your time in Empire Pro comes to an end, along with your shot at the Intercontinental Title at Black Dawn. What do you have to say?

[Troy grabs the mic, and motions for Kenny to move off camera. Troy collects himself for a moment, then focuses on the lens.]

TD: Dan, you and I go way, way back, and you and I both know that our history hasn’t exactly been friendly. I’ve done some things that’ve pissed you off, and you’ve returned them in kind on plenty of occasions.

But what you’re doing now, Dan? This takes the cake.

You’re threatening the livelihoods of men who have killed themselves each and every night to make your company great, to make your television show a can’t-miss product, to hawk your merchandise, sell out arenas all across North America and get those hundreds of thousands of pay per view buys that have increased your bank account tenfold over the last four years.

You’re doing that, Dan, because of a childish grudge. Because you couldn’t stand what IrishRed and Beast did to you, what they did to your baby.

And so you’ve decided that A1E has to die. I’ve said more than once that your schoolyard bullying tactics don’t sit well with me, Dan. I don’t appreciate the fact that you’ve resorted to bribery and intimidation just so you can have your cake and eat it too.

Last week, Dan, I said that in this war, I wouldn’t be on your side. I said that the battle lines had been drawn and that you and I, we weren’t seeing eye-to-eye in this matter.

Then, you had to go and up the ante, didn’t you, Dan? You had to give us a put-up-or-shut-up ultimatum, and then, you had to go and push up the deadline.

You threatened to take away something I’ve worked four years in this company to get to, just days before I finally realized my goal.

You’ve bent me before, Dan. This time, you’ve broken me.

You want my decision? You’ve got it. I won’t be your soldier, I won’t be your lackey, but when it comes to you and Marcus, I’ll stay out of your way.

I won’t be your friend, Dan, but in this war, you can call me Switzerland.

But – and I swear to God when I’m saying this – if you screw with me, if you send your cronies out to teach me a lesson, and if you do anything, anything at all to keep me from taking the IC title from around your little golden boy’s waist at Black Dawn, you won’t have the chance to live to regret it.

You don’t want me to help Marcus? That’s fine with me. I’ll take your quarter million, I’ll take the IC title, and I will do everything I’ve always said I’d do here in EPW. You said it yourself, Dan, that I’m one of the cornerstones of this company.

I would’ve hated to see what would happen if that foundation began to crumble. I won’t be your enemy anymore, Dan. But tonight, I’m still going to go out there with James Irish and tear into the three men you’ve set against us.

And at Black Dawn, four years of hard work pay off when I strap EPW gold around my waist for the first time.

You won’t stop me from that, Dan.
 

DBrunkGXW

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Douglas/Irish (c) vs. Sarge (c)/Benjamin/SB

[“You Know My Name” hits the PA as Troy Douglas hurriedly makes his entrance and slaps hand with some of the fans alongside the ramp on his way down. He is welcomed by a generally mixed reaction.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the following event is a handicap tag team match set for one fall! Introducing first, from Greensboro, North Carolina… HERE IS… TROOOOOYYY DDOOOUUUGGLAAASSSS!!

[Douglas enters the ring… moments later, “I’ll Drink To You” by Duke Jupiter hits the PA. James Irish appears and comes to the ring with a welcome similar to Douglas’, proudly bearing the EPW Television Title.]

TF: And his partner… from Fredonia, New York… he is the Empire Pro Television Champion… HE IS… JAAAAAAAAMMEESS IIIIIRRRRIIISSSHH!!!

[Irish rolls into the ring and holds his belt up a few times for the fans, before handing it off to the ref and going to his corner with Douglas, where the two discreetly discuss a few last-minute things.]

DT: This next match is a bit of an undertaking for the two men standing in the ring, as they’ll be put up against three opponents, in what some are saying is punishment for their allegiance with the closely affiliated A1 Entertainment.

MN: They’re damn TRAITORS is what they are, and this “punishment”, as you call it, is just desserts!

DM: They’re at a disadvantage, in any case. I predict this to be a very easy undertaking for the opposing team. One extra man may not seem like much, but it goes a long way in any match.

DT: Also interesting of note is the Sergeant’s upcoming title defense at Black Dawn to Troy Douglas. These two have competed tooth and nail for that belt, and the constant war of words over recent months is quickly building to a head. Anything is possible when these two hit the ring…

[“Stone Cold Crazy” by Metallica plays. Simply Beautiful makes his appearance to another mixed reaction, eyeing the two men in the ring with some reservations.]

TF: And the first of their opponents… from Staten, Island, New York… here is… SSIIIIIIMMMPLLYYYY BEEEEAAAUUUTTIIIFFULLLL!!

[SB slides into the ring and comes to his feet, looking at the other two A1E-aligned wrestlers standing across from him. No words are exchanged, but SB and Irish lock eyes and both nod.]

DT: What’s that all about?

DM: I don’t know, but I get the feeling that there’s an understanding between Simply Beautiful and his opponents.

MN: They’re A1E bedfellows! All of ‘em!

DT: I dunno, SB doesn’t seem to be buddy-buddy with them.

[“The Final Countdown” by Europe hits the PA. To an equally mixed reaction, Adam Benjamin appears and boldly makes his way to the ring.]

TF: Introducing next… from the United Kingdom… here is “YOURS TRULY”… AAADDAAAAM BEEENJJAAAMMIIIINNN!!

[Benjamin comes to a stop at the bottom of the ramp, questionably eyeing the three men in the ring. “We Right Here” by DMX hits the PA. To a favorable pop, the Sergeant appears, proudly bearing the Intercontinental Title as he descends the ramp to join his partner.]

TF: And finally… from Springfield, Missouri… he is the Empire Pro Intercontinental Champion… HE IS… THE SSSSEEEEEERRRGGGEEEEAAANNNT!!!

[Sarge and Benjamin scale to the apron and enter the ring, keeping their distance from Douglas and Irish. SB joins them but goes to the apron without saying anything. After the final checks are made, the ref rings the bell and it ends up starting out with Douglas and Benjamin standing in the ring together.]

DT: Looks like it’s going to be longtime rivals Troy Douglas and Adam Benjamin starting this one off…

MN: Wow… says a lot about the Sarge when he’s too much of a coward to start this off himself.

DM: I think Benjamin volunteered, Mike… he’s ready for action, and GOES into action as he locks up with Troy Douglas in a collar-and-elbow tie-up! It’s a battle of strength as one man tries to overpower the other… but Benjamin, with a fluid transition to a hammerlock, puts himself in control!

DT: And there’s DOUGLAS with an elbow to the face of Benjamin… and ANOTHER elbow as Adam Benjamin is shrugged off, left rubbing his jaw… and now here’s Troy Douglas into the ropes… SHOULDER BLOCK puts “Yours Truly” on his back! There’s Douglas, keeping up the momentum as he goes into the ropes again… comes back to the rising Benjamin with a LARIAT—and hits AIR as Benjamin ducks!

DM: Benjamin is ready for him as he comes back, and sets him up for a back body—NO WAIT!! Sunset Flip from DOUGLAS rolls Benjamin into a COVER!

One!

Two! And Benjamin kicks out!

DT: Douglas looking strong from the start, and he’s got a number of these fans on his side!

MN: Bah, a bunch of A1E-lovin’ traitors like him

DT: Douglas keeps Benjamin at bay with a SCOOP SLAM, and follows with a standing elbow drop—BUT HITS THE MAT as Benjamin rolls through!

DM: Benjamin with an opportunity… and he makes the tag to the SERGEANT!!

DT: NOW things are going to get interesting!

[BIG pop from the audience as the Sergeant enters the ring. Douglas, back on his feet, stops in his tracks and the two have a long stare-down.]

DM: This showdown could very well be a preview of the upcoming Intercontinental Title match at Black Dawn!

DT: And the animosity between these two goes even beyond the title! HERE WE GO… Douglas stepping up, and so does Sarge, and they don’t even BOTHER with a tie-up as the two trade a BARRAGE of fists in the center of the ring!

MN: Whoa… gonna see some teeth down by ringside when this one’s through!

DM: It’s an old-school slobber-knockin’ toe-to-toe fist fight… and now SERGEANT ends it with a sudden BOOT to the gut of Troy Douglas! A few fans didn’t seem to like that very much, but hey… this is wrestling, not boxing.

DT: Right you are, Dean-O, as the Sergeant steps up onto the winded Troy Douglas… there’s the hook with the arms, and DROPS HIM with a Double-Underhook Suplex!

DM: Troy’s finding himself in an increasingly bad situation. He’s down in numbers and has to keep control of this match…

MN: Looks like he’s going to have to wait as the Empire Pro representatives in this match show him the boots… medium-style.

DT: Boots indeed, as the Sergeant MERCILESSLY stomps at the chest of Troy Douglas… and now he gets him up by the head, and tosses him into his team’s corner! There’s the tag back to Adam Benjamin, skipping OVER their tag partner Simply Beautiful.

MN: The hell is that about?

DM: There’s an issue of trust involved in this match. Simply Beautiful is a vocal A1E supporter, and none too happy to be airing out Dan Ryan’s dirty laundry. And Benjamin with a HUGE CHOP to the chest of Troy Douglas, toppling him to the mat!

DT: Simply Beautiful seems a tad peeved to have been skipped over, but is ignored by his own team members as Benjamin keeps the punishment going… bringing Douglas back to his feet, and ANOTHER KNIFE EDGE CHOP reddens up his pectorals! Douglas reeling on his feet… and SPUN AROUND with a European Uppercut from the famed European Adam Benjamin!

DM: Here comes Benjamin from behind! Seeing an opponent’s back to the attacker is a technical wrestler’s wet dream!

MN: I’ll bet it is…

DT: Benjamin hooks around the waist… GERMAN SUPLEX, and BRIDGES TO PIN!!

ONE!

TWO!

NO! Douglas forced the kick out!

DM: Benjamin and the Sergeant are doing a good job of keeping Troy Douglas in check… and James Irish is looking a trite bit worried on the other side of the ring.

MN: Probably cause he now realizes he’s going to get his ass kicked just as bad.

DT: Benjamin keeps the heat on, bringing Douglas to his feet and shoving into his corner… and the Sergeant reaches over the ropes and holds him by the arms! He’s giving Adam Benjamin a BIG opportunity there!

DM: And Benjamin goes for it with a SUPERKICK—OH NO!! Douglas BREAKS FREE and dives out of the way at the last second, and Sarge ATE that superkick like it came on a bun with a side of fries!

DT: Benjamin just realized what he did wrong… but now Douglas, using the distraction to his advantage, spins him around… BIG FISHERMAN BRAINBUSTER!! Adam Benjamin went out like a LIGHT with that one!

DM: Douglas could have it here as he goes for the cover!

ONE!

TWO!

And ADAM BENJAMIN kicks out!

DT: A valiant comeback from Troy Douglas, but now that he’s been worked on for a bit, it’s time to make the tag to James Irish… and at the same time, Benjamin rolls to his corner, and makes the tag to the only available partner standing on the apron… Simply Beautiful!

MN: He accepted the tag! I’m surprised. But is he actually going to fight his supposed “allies?”

[Putting the question to the test, both SB and Irish hit the ring and dash to each other, before skidding to a halt. Irish, recognizing the fellow A1E talent, bears a smile only momentarily—and SB, without warning, KICKS HIM in the gut!]

DT: SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL WITH THE KICK… and follows through with a SWINGING NECKBREAKER!!

MN: So much for “alliances,” huh?

DM: They might be on the same side, Mike, but James Irish is still his opponent.

DT: Right you are, Dean, although it seems to be annoying the hell out of Troy Douglas. The last thing they need is a third opponent to deal with… and with the way SB is getting to work on James Irish, I’d say they’ve got their work cut out for them.

DM: There’s a lot of animosity between these two as well. Simply Beautiful working Irish into a side headlock, and WHIPS HIM to the mat, keeping the headlock held on tight! Now he’s simply SQUEEZING the life out of him!

MN: There wasn’t much life in that melon of his to begin with!

DT: Irish trying to mount a comeback now, and SB looks to be switching into a SLEEPERHOLD—and James Irish with the SNAPMARE counters that attempt! Irish with the KNEE TO THE SPINE, keeps SB stunned on the mat!

DM: The Television Champion looking a tad irate with Simply Beautiful right now… nevertheless, he pulls him to his feet and leads him to a neutral corner. Slaps on a front-face lock… hops off the SECOND-ROPE—and DRILLS SB with a Tornado DDT!!

DT: James Irish looking for the COVER!

One!

Two!

NO!! A strong kickout from Simply Beautiful… but Irish almost immediately has him back on his feet, and just SHOVES him back into his own corner!

DM: Irish is looking for him to cooperate on their behalf, but I don’t think SB’s going to have any of it! Simply Beautiful charging out of the corner, and he just CLOCKS James Irish in the forehead with a running LARIAT!

MN: Never a bright one, that James Irish. Believe me, I’ve been watching this guy over in A1E…

DT: He never rubbed me that way, but I’ll leave you to your opinion, Mike. Irish, lying stunned on the mat… and Simply Beautiful goes back to his corner to tag in Adam Benjamin—NO, PSYCH! SB pulls his hand away as Benjamin reached out, and just brings that hand SLAPPING across the face of the Sergeant!!

[Crowd: OOOOOH!!]

DM: What an INSULT to Sarge… who simply stares Simply Beautiful down and switches places!

MN: Man, I woulda KICKED that cocky, name-swappin’ mofo’s head in!

DT: Nevertheless, the Sergeant showing a bit of self-control, realizing the match is still at stake… although I think it’s clear that his tag partner, Simply Beautiful, is on no side other than his OWN in this match.

DM: Smart thinking.

DT: Irish almost up, crawling to his corner, but the Sergeant meets him with a running KNEE to the head! His team can really gain an advantage here, after weakening Troy Douglas, and now working steadily on James Irish! Sarge brings Irish to his feet… hooks him around the waist… and delivers a BIIIIG POWERBOMB into the center of the ring!

DM: I could feel that all the way out here! Here’s Sarge with the pin!

ONE!

TWO!

THR—NO!! James Irish can’t back out of it this soon!

MN: He really has a chip on his shoulder…

DT: Irish stays alive, but the Sergeant is in full control… there’s the WHIP to the corner, and Sarge follows it up with a BIG SPLASH that takes the wind right out of the Television Champion! Things aren’t looking good for James Irish now, and here’s the Sergeant with the whip out of the corner—REVERSED by James Irish!

DM: OOH! Sarge connects HARD with the corner… and turns around right into a RUNNING DDT FROM JAMES IRISH!!

[Big pop from bipartisan fans, and great booing from the Empire Pro loyalists in attendance.]

DT: MY GOD, what a sudden turn of events! James Irish just DRILLED the Sergeant on the mat… and now he’s getting to his feet! I’m surprised he can STAND after the beating he’s taken at the hands of the Sergeant and his team!

DM: Irish, with a HUGE opportunity to turn things around for his team!! He has the Sergeant at his mercy!

DT: …wait just a second, Irish is pointing to DOUGLAS!

[Bipartisan fans in the audience CHEER as Irish offers to tag in Douglas to handle the helpless Sergeant… and goes to make the TAG.]

DM: There’s the tag off, and now Douglas comes back into the ring to settle the score with the Sergeant!

MN: Yeah, now that he’s down and doesn’t have a fighting chance!

DT: Troy Douglas meets the Sergeant as he comes to his feet, and BLASTS HIM with a High-Angle Spinebuster! Douglas keeps his grip on Sarge’s legs as he wraps them around for the SCORPION DEATHLOCK!!

DM: OH MAN, THIS COULD BE IT!! The Sergeant finds himself LOCKED in Douglas’ finest submission technique, and he’s going NOWHERE!!

MN: Here comes the cavalry!

DT: Adam Benjamin in the ring, and CLUBS Troy Douglas off of his tag partner before he has a chance to tap! And now it’s JAMES IRISH coming into the ring, and he comes at Adam Benjamin with a running KITCHEN SINK!!

DM: SB in the ring as well… and he catches IRISH ON THE ROPES with a CLOTHESLINE that sends both men to the outside!!

DT: Benjamin, on the mat clutching his abs… and the Sergeant still feeling the after-effects from that submission hold. Despite a bump on the noggin, Troy Douglas is back on his feet and ready to finish this for good!

DM: You may be right, Dave… he brings the Sergeant back to his feet, and now he’s leading him to the corner! He sets Sarge up on top… could we be seeing the END OF THE ROAD!!

MN: NOT SO FAST!!

DT: ADAM BENJAMIN, down but NOT out, yanks Troy Douglas off the second rope from his place on the mat! Follows with a LEGSWEEP to put Douglas on his back!

DM: Douglas could be in trouble… but now James Irish and Simply Beautiful are on the outside in a shoving match!

DT: Douglas trying to get to his feet, but Benjamin’s already in the ropes… Benjamin rebounds, and SHINING WIZARD!! OH MAN, NEARLY LOPPED TROY DOUGLAS’ HEAD RIGHT OFF with that kick!!

DM: Here’s the SERGEANT, now, from the TOP ROPE… NAILS A DIVING ELBOW ACROSS THE STERNUM OF TROY DOUGLAS!! He hooks the leg for a COVER!

DT: Here come Irish and SB after seeing the commotion…

MN: But Benji is THERE before Irish can do anything about it!

DM: The ref makes the count!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE!!!

[The bell sounds as the Sergeant rolls off of Troy Douglas, looking exhausted, but victorious. We hear a VERY mixed reaction from the divided fanbase. Sarge begins celebrating with Adam Benjamin as Douglas lies rolling on the mat. Simply Beautiful can only shake his head and leave the ring.]

DT: What a HARD-FOUGHT victory for the team of the Sergeant, Adam Benjamin, and Simply Beautiful! In the end, I guess you were right, Dean… the numbers game was just too much for James Irish and Troy Douglas to handle.

DM: Simply Beautiful really played the wild card in this match… much to the chagrin of James Irish, who almost seemed to be caught off guard with SB’s willingness to fight him tooth and nail.

MN: Heh heh… those A1E scumbags got EXACTLY what they deserve for turning their backs on the boss!

DT: The Sergeant scores the win tonight over his future opponent at Black Dawn, Troy Douglas, but Douglas may have the opportunity to settle the score at the Pay Per View when the Intercontinental Title is on the line. Meanwhile, the Television Champion James Irish will have to face Simply Beautiful sooner or later. We’ve got more action to come, fans, so don’t go away!
 

DBrunkGXW

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The Forsaken vs. The Proletariat (c) - EPW World Tag Team Title Match

[Aggression returns from commercial as Felix Red and The First are walking towards the ring. They slide into the ring as their music fades out, and Dave Thomas takes it from there.]

DT: Ladies and gentlemen, up next on Aggression the tag team titles are on the line as the duo known as the Forskaken – Felix Red and The First – takes on the World Tag Team champs, C.P. Nero and C.E. Augustus, collectively known as the Proletariat.

MN: Freaks against Commies. Can’t we get a nice, normal tag team around here one of these days?

DM: We had those before, Mikey. They were really, really boring.

MN: When did we have normal tag teams? I don’t remember this.

DM: That’s because you sleep through the shows, Neels.

DT: One of these teams will face the Chronic Collizion…

MN: FORMERLY CRIMSON CALLING~!

DT: … for the straps at Black Dawn, so let’s get the champs down here and get this one going.

[CUE UP: “Break the Silence” Killswitch Engage as C.P. Nero and the massive C.E. Augustus come down the aisle to LOUD boos from the Oklahoma City crowd. They slide under the ropes and hand the belts to referee Bryan Weatherby, who shows them to the Forsaken and then to the crowd before ceding the center of the ring to Tony Fatora.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is schedule for ONE FALL, and is for the EPW Tag Team Championships of the World!!!!

[Loud cheers from the crowd.]

TF: Introducing first the challengers, standing to my left. At a combined weight of 435 pounds … THE FIRST … FELIX RED … they are THE FORSAKEN!!!!
And their opponents, standing in the corner to my right…

They weigh in at a combined 554 pounds, and enter tonight as the REIGNING and DEFENDING EPW Tag Team Champions of the World … C.P. NERO … C.E. AUGUSTUS … THE PROLEATARIAT!!!!

[SFX: Bell rings as Tony steps out of the ring. Each team conferences in their corner, and the First and Nero step out to start the match.]

DT: Tag titles are on the line, and here we go!

MN: You are such a giant nerd.

DT: And the First just bumrushed C.P. Nero! He’s absolutely BLASTING one-half of the tag champs with punches, knees, elbows, kicks, any body part he can use to do damage!

DM: Well, not any body part. Thankfully, he’s decided not to use some of them. This is basic cable, of course.

MN: Dude. You clearly haven’t watched basic cable in, like, ever.

DT: The First is just continuing this all-out blitzkrieg of strikes, he’s got Nero in a perfect Muay Thai clinch … and OH MY LORD!!! He just blasted Nero with a knee to the skull that sent him staggering into the ropes! He wobbles into the middle of the ring … SPINNING BACKFIST!!! A bare-handed spinning backfist right to the temple, and that might’ve knocked C.P. loopy!

DM: Loopy enough that he waddled over to his corner and his partner tagged himself in before Nero flopped to the mat.

MN: I think he’s lucky he drunkenly stumbled in the right direction.

DT: In comes the big man, C.E. Augustus … but The First meets him with a dropkick right to the knee that doubles the massive Augustus over! First hits the ropes … big knee right to the face! And now The First slips over to his corner and tags in Felix, and Red wants some of the action himself!

MN: I want some action, too.

DM: I always knew you had a thing for 330 pound male Communist, Neels.

DT: Felix stalking in, but the big man had enough time to recover and shove him into the corner! Augustus takes charge … and eats Felix Red’s elbow!

MN: Ummm … eww?

DT: Felix hops to the second rope … Augustus turns around … DIVING CLOTHESLINE!! He covers…

ONE…

AND A HALF! Not enough to put the big man down!

MN: Wonder why?

DM: Probably because he’s, y’know, frikkin HUMONGOUS?

MN: Oh. Riiiiight.

DT: Felix continuese to stay in control, and he lays in some quick forearms to the back of Augustus. He pulls him over to his corner, and now in comes the First for a little double team action.

MN: You are the gayest man in the history of the universe.

DM: That’s what she said.

DT: Felix holding Augustus still … and the First drives a brutal crescent kick right to the side of C.E. Augustus’ ribs! And another! Now an irish whip by Felix … The First catches Augustus with a gorgeous jumping calf kick that drops the Proletariat’s muscle! Off the ropes comes the First … and he drops a knee directly into C.E.’s sternum, and you can hear the big man struggling to catch his breath after that one!

DM: I think I just saw his lung pop out.

MN: Where? Where? I missed it! Damn, can we get a replay! I WANNA SEE THE GROSS STUFF!!!

DM: It was a figure of speech, Neely.

MN: Oh. Wuzzat?

DT: Augustus pulls himself to his feet, but the First tags him with another dropkick that sends him stumbling into the corner! Here comes the First on the charge … and he gets caught with a MASSIVE boot from C.E. Augustus! The big man out of the corner … with a clothesline that turns the First damn near inside-out!

MN: WOOHOO, MORE GROSS STUFF!

DT: The cover…

ONE…

TWO…

Kickout by the First, but C.E. Augustus finally showed some life, and now here comes his tag team partner! The First pops up … but Nero nails him with a flying forearm! Up comes the First again … boot to the gut by Nero, and a snap suplex! In comes Felix, but Nero meets him with a blistering chop! Irish whip … swinging neckbreaker! The champs have finally started to roll, and C.P. Nero is a house afire!

DM: Maybe he just needed to get whacked in the head a couple times to wake him up.

DT: Nero snaps to his feet … but he’s cut off with a HYOOOGE flying knee from The First! That’s a momentum killer if I’ve ever seen one!

DM: You know what, I think I was wrong five seconds ago.

MN: Dude. I’ve been saying that for, like, three freaking years.

DT: The First grabs the staggering Nero … whips him off the ropes … TILT-A-WHIRL POWERBOMB!!! He just absolutely FLATTENED C.P. NERO! Now the First headed to the top…

MN: Yay! Carnage time!

DT: He takes flight … SOMERSAULT LEGDROP!!! This one might be over! The cover…

ONE…

TWO…

THRRRNOOO!!!! Augustus slid in at the last moment to break it up, but Felix is in and taking care of the big man! Irish whip … and a FRANKENSTEINER!!! He pulled the big man all the way over with that one! Augustus rising to his feet … DOUBLE ENZIGUIRI! Both members of the Forsaken nailed him right in the head with kicks and the big man crumples to the outside!

DM: I hate to say it, Dave, but this is what happens when two main-event caliber wrestlers decide to team up. These two are one frightening combination, and right now it doesn’t matter how good a team the Proletariat is.

DT: Nero finally gets to his feet … The First meets him with an inverted atomic drop! Now First and Felix hit the ropes on opposite sides … ART OF DESPAIR!!! That brutal legsweep and spin kick combo might’ve just snapped C.P. Nero in two! Cover by the first…

ONE…

TWO…

THREE!!! We’ve got new tag team champions, and in incredibly impressive fashion.

MN: Damn. Commies folded faster than Gorbachev.

DM: You don’t even know who Gorbachev is!

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match and NEEEEEEW Empire Pro Tag Team Champions of the World … THEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FOOOOOOORSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEENNNNN!!!!!!

[Felix and the First hold the belts high above their heads, as the crowd is not quite sure what to make of what they’ve just seen.]

DT: Folks, the Proletariat have been one of the finest tag team units to come around these parts in years, and the Forsaken just ripped through them like wax paper? Can anybody, and I mean ANYBODY, stop Felix Red and the First? We’ll be right back!
 

DBrunkGXW

Consigliere
Joined
Sep 11, 1997
Messages
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Age
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Location
Katy, TX
Black Dawn Announcement + Main Event, for the #1 Contendership

DT: We’re back, and it’s just about time for the main event – but I’m told we’re gonna have a special announcement from the boss here in just a second concerning Black Dawn.

MN: Time to put some people in their places.

DT: Whattya mean?

MN: Didn’t he tell some people they weren’t keeping their title shots if they didn’t get in line??

DT: Yeah he did, and it’s a pretty low down thing to do if you ask me.

MN: Who exactly do you work for anyway?

DM: Just because you work for someone doesn’t mean you have to agree with their decisions, Neely.

DT: Exactly.

MN: This is mutiny!!

DT: Mutiny? Do you even know what….

[The conversation is interrupted by “Zero” and the crowd erupts as EPW Owner Dan Ryan appears on the stage in full business attire and calmly walks toward the ring.]

DT: We’ll have to continue this later……the boss is in the house!

[Ryan makes it to the ring and climbs in, calmly producing a wireless microphone from inside his jacket pocket.]

Ryan: Well, the time has come….

I’d like to say up front that Troy Douglas made a very intelligent decision earlier tonight. You don’t have to be with me, but I do ask that you stay out of the way and do your job. That simple logic wasn’t lost on Mr. Douglas and as a result he will be rewarded his due.

So, I’d like to make it official – as Troy Douglas will indeed challenge The Sergeant at Black Dawn 2008 for the EPW Intercontinental Title.

[Cheers]

Now obviously, the main event….the big enchilada, the World Title Match at Black Dawn will be decided momentarily when JA, Rocko Daymon and Kin Hiroshi lock horns one more time.

However, that brings me to the Television Title match.

Officials backstage have informed me that SB, the former Andrew Rossi has left the building for the evening.

Neely voice over: SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!!

DM: Jesus, shut up Neely….

Ryan: [shaking his head in disappointment] Well, what that means is he has decided not to give me an answer by the deadline. So, I hate to do this but good common sense leaves me no choice. I can’t risk someone not loyal to the company in a match for one of our titles on the line. Unfortunately, James Irish is the champion and I can’t exactly pull him from the match. That’s not good business. But I’m sorry to say that I’m pulling SB from that match and instead – James Irish will defend the Television Title in a four way dance against former Television Champion “The Phenom” Shawn Jessica Bubbles Hart….the man who defeated Shawn Hart earlier tonight, Fusenshoff.........and a man who takes a lot of crap from a lot of people, but has been loyal to EPW to the bitter end…..former EPW World Tag Team Champion…..Cameron Cruise.

Instead, SB will face off against his new best friend – Marcus Westcott, known to the rest of you….as Beast.

Neely: Brilliant!!

DT: Completely unfair you mean.

Ryan: As for the rest of you who failed to get me an answer, your time will come soon enough. The rest of Black Dawn will be announced soon, don’t worry. Enjoy the main event….

[Ryan tucks the mic back in his pocket and climbs out of the ring, heading toward the curtain.]

DT: Big announcement from the owner as SB has lost his right to challenge for the TV Title and Troy Douglas has retained his. Worse yet, SB must face the man he stands with in this interpromotional war when he gets in the ring with Beast at Black Dawn.

DM: Well, Dan Ryan is certainly a shrewd businessman, but screwing around with earned title shots? I’m just not a fan of it.

DT: Well, getting back to our main event…..these three individuals, coming to the ring in just a few moments, have come far through their respective careers, and they fought tooth and nail to earn a spot in this match. Tonight, they will put it all on the line to prove who among the three is the strongest, and will go on to fight “Triple X” Sean Stevens for the EPW World Heavyweight Championship!

MN: DAMN, I can hardly wait!

DM: Well settle down before you soil yourself, Mike… the first entrant is about to make his way to the ring.

[“Death is this Communion” hits the PA as the lights around the stage switch to the red filter. The audience lets out a HUGE reaction!]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a triple threat match set for one fall, and will determine the rightful Number One Contender to the Empire Pro World Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first, from Tacoma, Washington… weighing in at 243 pounds… HERE IS… ROOOOCCKOOOO DAAAAAYYYMOOOONNN!!!

[Daymon steps through the entry-way, noticeably alone. He acknowledges the cheering fans but briefly before making his way to the ring, a sober, determined look on his face.]

DT: Rocko Daymon has arrived, obviously alone, and he is looking ready for action tonight!

DM: I’ll say… after Stalker mercilessly tear up his wife like that while he could only stand back and watch, I’m sure he’s willing to go to any lengths to win tonight.

MN: And if he LOSES, then he just looks like a moron! THAT’D be pretty awesome.

DT: Daymon, obviously, is very motivated to win. He’s had a tumultuous last few months with the champion, Sean Stevens… and he’s looking to settle things at Black Dawn with the title on the line.

[Daymon slides into the ring and goes to a corner. “Eat The Rich” by Fozzie hits the PA as the silhouette of an intensely flexing man before a wall of lights appears in the entry-way. The fans COME TO THEIR FEET chanting the obvious two letters.]

TF: And introducing next… from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania… weighing in at 219 pounds… HERE IS… JAAAAAAY AAAAYYYYEEEE!!!!

[HUGE pop as pyros light up the stage and JA bounds onto the ramp! Playing up to the fans, he confidently makes his way to the ring.]

DT: A HUGE ovation for Jerichoholic Anonymous as he comes to the ring!

DM: You want to talk about motivation… THIS man is the definition of motivation in this match! Daymon might have his out-of-the-ring tiff with Stevens, but JA is the man who knows he has something to settle with the champion in the ring.

MN: Yeah, cause he couldn’t settle it the last TWO times…

DT: JA is very much at the top of his game, and tonight, he may very well gain his ultimatum against the nearly unstoppable champion!

[JA valiantly hops into the ring, continuing to work up the crowd while taking stone-like off glances to Daymon across the ring. “Wings of a Butterfly” by H.I.M. drifts over the PA, and the audience CHEERS WILDLY as a train of MUFFINS crosses over the Empire-Tron!]

TF: And finally… fighting out of Seattle, Washington… he weighs in at 240 pounds… HE IS… “THE MUFFIN MAN”… KIIIIIN HIIIIRROOOSSHIIII!!!

[Pyros EXPLODE over the stage as Kin Hiroshi boldly steps out onto the stage and gets a MASSIVE ovation from the fans in attendance! Eyes focused on his opponents, he casually makes his way to the ring.]

DT: Last, but CERTAINLY not least, comes the notorious Muffin Man from the Land of the Rising Sun!

DM: Hiroshi’s climbed a hard road to make it to this point! He’s here to prove that he has just as much motivation as both these guys, and he doesn’t need to ride on any rivalry to prove why he’s the better man to go to Black Dawn!

MN: They take that crap seriously back where he’s from, you know?

DT: Without rivalry… without anybody in his corner… Hiroshi has earned everything on his own up to this point. A win tonight would mean more than just a title shot… but also give the champion Stevens something to think about while much of his attention is devoted to the other to.

MN: Come on, you really think Sean Stevens WATCHES any of these guys?

[Hiroshi slides into the ring and poses for the fans a few times before going to his corner. The referee begins making his final preparations.]

DT: I’d like to remind the viewers at home that this match is set for NO disqualifications… and NO interferences are permitted. These men will settle this match on their own.

DM: That’s the way it was meant to be.

MN: So basically, I’m going to be falling asleep through this, right?

DT: I doubt that very much, Mike. These men have long been plagued by errors and shady calls… but tonight, an undisputed superior will rise above the others. That man will meet the champion at Black Dawn… and it looks like we’re ready to get this underway!

[The bell rings… and all three men advance to the center of the ring.]

DT: The quest to crown the Number One Contender concludes TONIGHT, and here we go! All three men meeting up in the middle, and THE FISTS START FLYING!! No need to dilly-dally; they’re getting right to the POINT!

DM: It’s a three-way brawl, and no man is showing signs of letting up! But now here’s DAYMON being forced back… and it looks like Hiroshi and JA are focusing solely on him!

DT: We saw this kind of double-teaming when these three met at Russian Roulette, and it did well for JA and Hiroshi to take Rocko out early on… now Daymon’s up against the ropes… there’s the double-whip, sending Rocko across the ring—and Hiroshi just SHOVES JA after him! No alliances here…

DM: Now it’s JA in Daymon’s sights as he comes off the ropes… BIG CLOTHESLINE puts the Anglo Luchadore to the mat! And now it’s HIROSHI, KICKING DAYMON to the mat with a wheel kick!

DT: We’ve got some fast-paced action early on in this main event!

MN: Yeah… none of that technical crap that Dean-O oozes over all the time.

DM: Don’t be naïve, Mike; setting the pace is an important part of competing in a match. Speaking of, we’ll now see if Kin Hiroshi can manage this match to his liking, now that he finds himself with an early opportunity…

DT: Here’s Hiroshi on JA as he comes to his feet, and pushes him into the corner… there’s the Irish Whip—and JA just BUTTS HEADS with Rocko Daymon as he comes to his feet, and both men drop to the mat! Hiroshi’s doing well thus far in managing both opponents at one time…

DM: We’ll see how long he can keep it up… Hiroshi, again opting for JA as he brings him to his feet again… working the shoulder with a textbook arm wrench, and there’s the SWEEP to the back of the legs that puts JA back on the mat! Now it’s Hiroshi going for a Fujiwara ARMBAR!! Oh man, here it goes!

MN: Oh man, there HE goes…

DT: JA fighting the submission hold… and he gets a save from Rocko Daymon, back on his feet, strips Hiroshi off… and now he has a chance to make a move as he grabs Hiroshi around the waist! Hoists him up looking for a GERMAN SUPLEX—and HIROSHI flips to his feet!

DM: Here’s Hiroshi with the reversal… wait a minute, JA back up… and Rocko DROPS TO THE MAT as JA BLASTS HIROSHI with a running Cross Body Chop!

DT: Hiroshi is down, but now Daymon and JA rise together… here comes Rocko with a Clothesline—and JA quickly reverses with a hiptoss! Daymon, back on his feet as if he didn’t even feel it… and JA drops him again as he charges forward with a DROP TOE HOLD!!

DM: Daymon’s getting reckless… he wants to go for hard-hitting attacks, and JA is just picking him apart! Daymon up again… here’s Rocko with another lariat attempt—and JA ducks, following with a FLOAT-OVER DDT!!

MN: OOH… nighty-night, Rocko.

DM: And you thought wrestling couldn’t be fast-paced…

DT: That move left Daymon limp on the mat, and now here’s JA with the cover…

One!

Two!

NO!! Hiroshi with the save! And now with JA on the mat, Hiroshi mounts him and settles for the ground-and-pound! Hiroshi, getting in some HEAVY shots, and JA is suffering for it!

DM: Am I the only one who finds it odd how much MMA is being integrated into wrestling these days?

MN: Hell no! Wrestling needs MORE of that, damnit! It’s the only thing that keeps me INTERESTED anymore, when those beautiful things are bouncing all over the place!

DM: …what the HELL are you talking about?

MN: Massive Mammary Action! You know, “MMA?”

DM: Nevermind, Mike… let’s just focus on the MIXED MARTIAL ARTS happening in the ring… JA trying to escape the wrath of Hiroshi, but now Hiroshi is nudging him toward the corner! JA is in a bad situation now… Hiroshi has him sitting against the bottom turnbuckle, and there’s nowhere for him to go!

DT: This could be bad for the Anglo Luchadore… Hiroshi rising to the second rope… OH MAN, COMES OFF WITH A DOUBLE-STOMP to the STERNUM of JAY AYE!!

MN: Instant lung deflation.

DT: Here’s Hiroshi again climbing the second rope for ANOTHER stomp… but ROCKO DAYMON, back on his feet, ATTACKS him from behind with a Double Axe-Handle! Rocko’s got the opportunity he needs now… and he RIPS Hiroshi out of the corner and flat on his back!

DM: Hiroshi up… and a RUNNING KNEE LIFT from Rocko puts him back down! Now it’s JA coming to his feet in the corner… and Rocko with a RUNNING CLOTHESLINE, sandwiches him in place before he can make a move! Daymon works well in these fast-paced, high-intensity situations, and now he’s routing for his first major offensive in this match!

DT: You might be right there, Dean-O… Hiroshi looking a little wobbly as he comes back to his feet, but Daymon’s charging at him like a steaming locomotive! Rocko with a SPINNING BACK ELBOW that catches Hiroshi in the jaw and sends him flailing to the mat! He is UNSTOPPABLE!!

DM: I can’t say it’s my cup of tea, but… it’s got the crowd going, at least. But wait, here’s JA back on his feet and placed in the corner! Here comes DAYMON…

DT: Rocko with the BACK-FIRST SPLASH—and JA DIVES TO THE SIDE!! Daymon just connected BACK-FIRST with that turnbuckle, and he falls to his knees in pain! I think he got a little carried away with himself there…

MN: Hey, the guy’s had a bad night… there’s NO QUESTION that he wants to win this, so give him a break!

DM: What makes you think Hiroshi and JA don’t want this just as bad? Here’s JA, now, bringing the stunned Rocko Daymon to his feet, and he hooks him around the face… BACKBREAKER—OH MAN, INTO A REVERSE S-T-O!! What the HELL WAS THAT?!

DT: Innovative move from JA, and he makes another pin attempt on Rocko Daymon…

One!

Two!

And DAYMON kicked out of that one! Rocko survives, but JA maintains control…

DM: We’ll see how long that lasts as Hiroshi comes back to his feet and approaches the Anglo Luchadore… there’s the collar and elbow tie-up! JA, sinks his arms around Hiroshi’s head, and slaps him into a side headlock! Great form on the part of the Anglo Luchadore…

DT: Hiroshi trying to break free, but JA has his arm tightly wound around his head!

MN: Well, let’s see how well he manages to keep that hold when Daymon comes back to join the fray.

DT: Daymon, back on his feet, and approaching JA… but OH!! JA saw him coming and met him with a boot to the gut! And now he uses his FREE ARM to slap a headlock onto ROCKO!! Where is he going with this?!

DM: I dunno, Dave… handling one man is hard enough, but two? Maybe JA’s bitten off more than he can chew, although for the time being, he’s got both opponents at bay, and the FANS are mounting behind him!

MN: It ain’t gonna last…

DT: I think you’re right, Mike… for once! Here’s Rocko and Hiroshi, lifting JA OFF THE MAT with a DOUBLE Back Suplex—BUT JA FLIPS BACK and lands on his FEET!! And the Anglo Luchadore with a STEREO OPEN-HAND BULLDOGS on BOTH Hiroshi and Daymon!! EXCELLENT innovation on the part of JA, who now clearly holds an advantage over both of his opponents!

DM: JA is fired up, and thus far, neither Hiroshi’s technical skill nor Daymon’s power approach have had ANY effect on trying to slow him down!

MN: MAN, I knew it was a bad idea for the soda machines in the back to be carrying all those cans of Pepsi Max!

DT: The Anglo Luchadore is still in control of this match, and he may very well earn his spot against the champion Sean Stevens if he continues this kind of momentum! JA has both men by their heads, and brings them to their feet… a CHEER TO THE AUDIENCE gets them WILD… and delivers a DOUBLE-WHAMMY on both Kin Hiroshi and Rocko Daymon!

DM: Daymon just flopped to the mat… but Hiroshi’s still on his feet, reeling! Now JA’s putting his attention on him as he delivers a kick to the side—AND FOLLOWS THROUGH with the ENZIGURI!! Hiroshi was put down with that one…

DT: You could almost hear the smack of JA’s foot against Hiroshi’s skull resonating through the entire arena… but JA not letting up for a second! He runs to the corner… boosts up, and FLIES OFF WITH A SPLIT-LEGGED MOONSAULT!! HE NAILS IT!!

DM: JA goes back to his high-flying roots, and Kin Hiroshi took ALL OF THAT in the chest!

MN: Looks like JA took a little with him as well. Look at him rolling on the mat clutching his ribs… you know, those high-flying moves are real crowd pleasers… but is it worth the self-sacrifice?

DT: OF COURSE it is, Mike! ANY of these men will go to ANY lengths to headline Black Dawn for a shot at the World Heavyweight Title. Self-sacrifice is what brought them this far, and the man that gives just that extra bit more here tonight will go on to become the number one contender!

DM: JA, a little shaken up… but he crawls over the wounded body of Kin Hiroshi, and hooks the leg for the cover!

ONE!

TWO!

THR—NO!! Hiroshi with a kickout before the referee could make the count of three. “The Muffin Man” is looking in bad shape in there…

DT: Jerichoholic Anonymous is certainly doing a number on him… and now as this match drags on, exhaustion is quickly setting in. Hiroshi needs to make a move soon if he wants to continue his quest to Black Dawn!

DM: Rocko Daymon, looking groggy, has made it back to his feet in the corner… and now JA is taking the opportunity to bring Hiroshi back up to his feet… he grabs him by the arm… there’s the Irish Whip to the CORNER—and HIROSHI AND DAYMON COLLIDE!! Looks like Daymon got the worse part of that as he comes stumbling out of the corner, leaning on the ropes…

MN: He isn’t doing much better than Hiroshi right now.

DT: And here comes JA on Hiroshi once again with a SPINNING HEEL KICK—and Hiroshi DUCKS—and DAYMON is the one in the line of fire!! He goes RIGHT TO THE MAT after taking that powerful hit right to the face! And now Hiroshi has the opportunity to make his move…

DM: JA spins around… but HIROSHI meets him with a boot to the gut! Hiroshi with a front-facelock… hooks the leg… lifts him UP AND JUST DRILLS HIM WITH A FISHERMAN BRAINBUSTER!! MAN, it looked liked JA was just turned into a human accordion as all of his weight came down on the back of his head and shoulders!

DT: Meanwhile, KIN HIROSHI shows that he’s still in this match! He’s got a hard road ahead of him, though…

MN: I’ll say. After that beat-down at the hands of JA, the Muffin Man looks as if he’d keel right over if somebody farted next to him…

DT: Let’s hope THAT never happens any time soon… Hiroshi back up, and he meets Rocko Daymon as he comes to his feet… pushes him against the ropes, and there’s the whip across the ring! Hiroshi, looking for a HURRICANRANA—!!

DM: DENIED BY DAYMON, as he refuses to be flipped over on his back! Hiroshi in a tight spot now as Daymon holds him on his shoulders… Daymon running to the ropes, looking for a POWERBOMB TO THE OUTSIDE—OH NO, HIROSHI GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE AND DRAG’S ROCKO TO THE OUTSIDE!!

DT: An UNBELIEVABLE counter by the Muffin Man… and now he has JA all to himself! JA almost to his feet… but Hiroshi slips back into the ring, and there’s a BULLDOG that puts him back on top of JA!

DM: Jerichoholic Anonymous seemed to do well as he took down both men at once with a variety of innovated moves… but can Hiroshi gain an edge by working away at the presumed weaker man?

DT: What makes JA the “weaker” man?

MN: Because it’s JAY-AYE, duh! The guy wears a mask like some fruity Frenchmen…

DM: Actually, I was referring to JA having spent all that stamina and energy controlling the last few minutes of the match… and now with Hiroshi in control, he’ll soon be looking to his reserve tanks, if he has any!

DT: Hiroshi is indeed in control, as he waits for JA to get to his feet, and puts him DOWN with a textbook Japanese Armdrag!

MN: The best thing off that island, other than Playstation 3 and MXC.

DM: Hiroshi looks to be trying to transition to an armbar… but JA wrestling back, and both men come to their feet, grappling toe to toe!

MN: Try to keep the snake in your pants, Dean-O.

DT: JA looking for a headlock—NO!! Hiroshi slips him into a FULL-NELSON… and STRAIGHT INTO A DRAGON SUPLEX PIN!!

ONE!

TWO!!

NO!! JA with the kickout…

DM: A near fall, but Hiroshi has this match going at his tempo… but maybe that will change as Rocko Daymon climbs onto the apron to reenter the ring. Daymon, taking a moment to catch his breath…

DT: Uh-oh, spotted by Hiroshi! Here’s the Muffin Man to the ropes—SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK to the FACE of the unsuspecting Rocko Daymon, who was sent back to the outside!!

MN: Man, that dumbass…

DM: Hiroshi really got a charge out of the fans with that one… and once again, Hiroshi controls the ring. Now he’s getting JA to his feet once again, continuing to work on the wearying Anglo Luchadore…

DT: There’s a whip to the ropes—but JA with the REVERSAL!! Hiroshi coming back, and JA sets him up for a MONKEY FLIP—but HIROSHI with a somersault, and HOOKS BOTH LEGS FOR A COVER!!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR—NO!! Broken up by Rocko Daymon, who was just quick enough to slide into the ring and disrupt the pin.

MN: That guy’s got the timing up an unwanted pregnancy…

DT: I’m sure Hiroshi feels that way too, but now Daymon is wrestling him back to his feet… Daymon looking for a Russian Legsweep—but KIN HIROSHI breaks free with an elbow to Daymon’s face!

DM: And Hiroshi, with a LARIAT, sends Rocko back to the outside as he was reeling back against the ropes! Man, Hiroshi really looks to be annoyed with Rocko’s interruptions…

MN: Well wouldn’t you be annoyed if you had victory within the palm of your hand and some shmuck keeps ruining your vibe?

DM: …to be honest, yeah, I think I would.

DT: Back to the action, as Hiroshi gets JA back to his feet. The Anglo Luchadore hasn’t been looking to good over the past few minutes as Kin Hiroshi wears him down at every opportunity. How much longer can he hold out?

MN: You’d be surprised. You see, the mask cuts off the circulation to his brain, so he really doesn’t even feel the first ten or fifteen minutes of pain.

DM: Even if that WERE true, he’d be lightning quick compared to YOU, Neels.

DT: Hiroshi bringing JA back to his feet… and JA STRIKES BACK with a Knife-Edge Chop!

DM: Might be some life left in him after all!

DT: But KIN HIROSHI with a CHOP of its own, and he had some HEAT on that one! JA stunned, and Hiroshi lifts him up… and PLANTS HIM with a MICHINOKU DRIVER!!

DM: Man, he’s just going for the throat now! I don’t know HOW JA’s going to come back from that one…

MN: HEY, are you saying I’m slow?

DM: That was ten seconds ago, Mike. Where the hell have you been?

MN: …Alaska.

DT: At any rate, Hiroshi, neglecting a pin… perhaps he has something else in mind? He looks to the turnbuckle… yes, there IS something on his mind! He’s going RIGHT TO THE TOP!!

DM: Uh-oh… this might be a risky move. Why give your opponent that kind of opportunity when you’d been doing so well thus far?

MN: Because he’s an idiot, Dean. Haven’t you figured that out yet?

DT: Hiroshi perched on the very top rope… and JA laid out in front him… Hiroshi comes FLYING OFF… NAAAAILLZZ the DIVING HEADBUTT!!

[Crowd PAWPS!!!]

DM: OH MAN, A DIRECT HIT!! Right into the STERNUM of Jerichoholic Anonymous!! That might be it!!

DT: Here’s Hiroshi with the COVER…

ONE!!

NO WAIT… the referee spots ROCKO DAYMON putting JA’s foot on the bottom rope!! Daymon, on the outside, SAVES what could have been a match-ending fall!

DM: I like to think that JA would’ve kicked out of that on his own strength… but Rocko Daymon obviously wasn’t taking any risks, and didn’t have the time to go back into the ring. And now it looks like Kin Hiroshi is FED UP with him!

DT: Looks like you’re right, Dean… here’s Hiroshi, bouncing into the ropes… and BLASTS ROCKO IN THE FACE with a BASEBALL SLIDE!! And now Hiroshi is bringing the fight to Daymon on the outside!

MN: I guess now he’ll regret putting a stain on the Muffin Man’s work…

DM: I dunno… Hiroshi really needs to be focusing on the man on the ring.

DT: Hiroshi bringing Rocko back to his feet… VIOLENTLY shoves him into the steel barricade by his hair! Hiroshi proceeding to pummel the back of Rocko Daymon as he hangs sweating and exhausted over the barricade right in front of the front-row seats.

MN: Heh heh… have a lick, kids! Take it home as a souvenir!!

DT: Hiroshi taking Rocko by the arm… there’s the WHIP to the STEEL CORNERPOST—NO, ROCKO WITH THE REVERSAL, and KIN HIROSHI GOES HEAD-FIRST INTO THE STEEL POST!!

DM: Misjudged Rocko’s strength there… wait, is that what I think it is…?

[The camera gets a shot of Hiroshi’s face while he lies on the outside floor. A cut has formed in his forehead where his skin broke as he connected with the steel.]

MN: Yep! We got a BLEEDER here, folks!!

DT: Daymon bled nearly buckets in their last foray… and it looks as though tonight, it’s the Muffin Man’s turn to bleed! Daymon getting Hiroshi back to his feet, and takes him around the waist. Looking for a Gutwrecnh Suplex here?

DM: Possibly so, as Daymon lifts Hiroshi UP—AND DROPS HIM ACROSS THE APRON!! OH MAN, HIROSHI LANDED ON HIS BACK!! What a SICKENING collision!

DT: Daymon has been unwillingly left out of this match for the past few minutes while Hiroshi worked on JA… and now he’s come back with a vengeance! Rocko now bringing Hiroshi up to his feet. What does he have in store for him next?

MN: Put his ass through a table! DESTROY HIM! Just… do it far away from here, please?

DM: Wait, inside the ring, here’s JA!!

DT: OH MY GAAWWDD!! JERICHOHOLIC ANONYMOUS CLEARS THE ROPES… and CLEARS THE COMPETITION with a BEAUTIFUL rope flip plancha to the outside! Neither Daymon nor Hiroshi saw that coming, and the Anglo Luchadore has a chance to come back in this match!

DM: I nearly thought he was OUT of this match… but shame on me for every doubting him!

DT: JA back in full control, rolling Rocko Daymon into the ring first… and follows with Hiroshi, as Daymon comes to his feet! JA up to the apron, and here he comes into the ring with a SPRINGBOARD MISSILE DROPKICK—OH NO, DAYMON CAUGHT HIM!! JA hits the mat HARD, and now Daymon looking for a TACOMA CLOVERLEAF!!

MN: “Tacoma” Cloverleaf… how that’s different from the TEXAS variety, I’m not sure. Just call it a damn Cloverleaf!

DM: Oh no, bad position for JA!! He looked to be routing a comeback, but now he finds himself on the verge of SUBMISSION as Rocko gets him over onto his belly! You don’t see many tap-out attempts in a triple threat match, but fans, after that cut to the head, Hiroshi is in NO condition to come to the save of JA at this point!

DT: JA squirming, clawing, fighting it for everything he’s got… he’s near a set of ropes, but can he make it? More appropriately, does he have enough STRENGTH to get that far??

DM: Good question, Dave… while JA was losing strength at the hands of Kin Hiroshi, Daymon was gaining his own while outside the ring, away from the action! Daymon—amazingly enough—has that move locked in as if he was a mat wrestling PRO! I don’t see JA getting out of this one…

[The fans are CHEERING WILDLY, some in support of Daymon’s near victory, and others trying to mount behind JA!]

DT: Jericoholic Anonymous, RIPPING his fingers into his mask as he tries to hold back the pain shooting through his legs and lower back right now… and… my God, I can’t believe I’m seeing this, he’s MOVING to the ropes!!

DM: Daymon’s trying to plant him… but he can’t get the traction he needs!

MN: Damn tread-less wrestling boots!!

DT: JA feet away… INCHES… CENTIMETERS…

MN: PICOMETERS…

DT: HE’S GOT IT!! JA REACHES THE BOTTOM ROPE!!

DM: Unbelievable!

DT: It seems as though Rocko Daymon can hardly believe it himself as he releases the hold, and leaves JA on the mat to recover while turning his attention to Kin Hiroshi. Hiroshi coming to his feet… and CATCHES ROCKO with a shot to the mid-section… followed by a second! Hiroshi back on his feet now, NAILS Rocko with a right hand… and Daymon hits him with a RIGHT OF HIS OWN as if he didn’t feel it!!

DM: Hiroshi might soon regret opting to trade blows with a natural brawler like Rocko Daymon!

MN: Everybody knows that as a child, Rocko Daymon tried to eat a bee-hive, and has a steel jaw as a result of the bodily injuries he suffered.

DT: Hiroshi comes back with another… and DAYMON with an even heavier counter!! Daymon with a SECOND big right hand… and a DISCUS PUNCH that just levels Kin Hiroshi to the mat!

DM: Daymon is PUMPED, and so is the crowd!! Rocko, switching targets, goes back to JA, who is just now making it to his feet with the help of the ropes…

DT: Given what JA has gone through, does he have enough to stop Rocko Daymon’s unyielding momentum? Daymon has JA from the side…

MN: Looks like that’s a NO, Dave…

DM: RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP from Daymon! Holds on as he brings JA up again… and drops him with a SECOND!!

DT: Up again for number three… and he NAILS IT!! JA, BARELY has the strength to resist him, and now Daymon goes for the cover…

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR—NO!! JA with the NEAR kickout!!

DM: I am simply amazed at the fortitude of JA… he’s gone under a lot of damage… put his body on the line in a lot of cases… and he’s STILL hanging in there!!

DT: JA is still in this fight… although he may have to wait a while longer until he gets another chance to make a serious impact, as Rocko Daymon gets him to his feet and dumps him into the Tree Of Woe in the corner, and again puts his attention on Kin Hiroshi!

MN: JA can “HANG OUT” in the meantime…

DT: Clever, Mike. Seriously, you should write for the Daily Show, or something…

MN: You think I have a shot?

DT: NO.

DM: The Muffin Man looks a little groggy after that haymaker to the face as he comes back to his feet… and turns right into a BOOT TO THE GUT, delivered by Rocko Daymon… and Daymon with a DOUBLE-ARM DDT!!

DT: Daymon is SERIOUSLY cleaning house in that ring… he’s beating JA and Kin Hiroshi into PULP, and showing no signs of slowing down.

DM: But he can’t put them down for the three, Dave. JA and Hiroshi are proving to be TOO determined to win this one!

DT: We’ll see if Rocko Daymon can finish it here as he hooks the leg and covers Kin Hiroshi…

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR—AWW, NO!! HIROSHI WITH THE KICKOUT!! Rocko can HARDLY believe… and neither can many of these fans!!

DM: I don’t know who they’re cheering for, but they’re enjoying this either way!

MN: These people will like anything their spoon-fed…

DT: What an incredible match-up we’re witnessing here tonight… but only ONE man can go on to compete for the title at Black Dawn! Right now, with his dominance in the ring, Rocko Daymon is the clear front-runner… but he’ll have to put forth even more than what he’s giving to put either one of these equally determined athletes!

DM: Looks like he’s finally coming to that realization, Dave, as Rocko Daymon brings a wearied Kin Hiroshi to his feet… there’s the whip to the turnbuckle! You know what comes next!

DT: Daymon charges in… and NAILS HIROSHI with the BACK-FIRST SPLASH!! Hiroshi’s in TROUBLE!!

DM: He might have some help, as JA finally tumbles out of the turnbuckle… but Rocko’s already looking to finish this off, as he yanks Hiroshi out of the corner by the arm, DRAGS him back into a well-placed KICK TO THE GUT… and he HOOKS BOTH ARMS FOR THE BRAIN ROCKER—

DT: But JAY-AYE MAKES THE SAVE!! JA, with a BIG diving clothesline, just knocked Rocko Daymon to the mat and saved Kin Hiroshi from being finished off!

MN: Where the hell did he come from?!

DM: You should know better by now than to underestimate the ability of the ANGLO LUCHADORE!

DT: Daymon getting back off the mat… but here’s JA, grabbing him around the waist—

AND JUST PLANTS HIM WITH A KARELIN DRIVER!!

DM: HE DID IT!! He STOPPED Rocko Daymon dead in his tracks! Now all he has to do is make the COVER!!

MN: What a lucky break…

DT: JA, almost has this one in the bag… now he is slowly crawling to Daymon, who lays flat on his back… and now Kin Hiroshi is working his way up onto his knees! JA’s gotta finish this one quick!

DM: JA only has the strength to drape an ARM across the chest of Rocko Daymon!

DT: Good enough!

ONE!!!




TWO!!!







THREE—OH NO, HIROSHI BREAKS IT UP!!

DM: DAMN!! So close…

MN: Close doesn’t cut it, Dean. Or have you forgotten?

DT: Kin Hiroshi, fighting exhaustion and BLOOD LOSS, saves this match from slipping through his fingers… but does he have enough to put either of these men away?

DM: We’ll find out soon enough… here’s Hiroshi back to his feet… and JA as well… and JA steps in with a KNIFE-EDGE CHOP across the chest of Hiroshi… and Hiroshi FIRES BACK with one of his own!!

DT: Both men, once again EXCHANGING hard chops across the chest! I haven’t seen pectorals get THAT red since Mike visited the salon to get waxed.

MN: Oh Walken, don’t remind me…

DT: Here’s JA with ANOTHER chop… and HIROSHI returns… and puts in ANOTHER… and a THIRD IN A ROW!!

DM: Hiroshi’s getting the edge!

DT: Hiroshi with ANOTHER chop—NO!! Blocked by JA… and Hiroshi BITES BAT with a boot to the gut!

NAGASAKI FAT MAN!!!

DM: WHAT A SUNSET FLIP PILEDRIVER!! JA is OUT like a LIGHTBULB, and Kin Hiroshi is MOMENTS AWAY from earning his spot at Black Dawn!

MN: COVER HIM, you idiot!!

DT: Hiroshi barely has the strength to finish this off… but he drapes himself across the chest of JA, and HERE IT IS!!




ONE!!!






TWO!!!








THREEE—NO, NO NO NOOO!!! JA WITH THE KICKOUT!! JA KICKED OUT!! How in the HELL did he do that?!

DM: That masked man is UNSTOPPABLE, I tell ya! Hiroshi executed that move perfectly, but JA is just TOO RESILIENT to be let himself be put down!

MN: I’m telling you… the mask pads his head. His actual head is really small… like the size of a grapefruit. Believe me, I’ve SEEN it.

DM: …liar.

MN: Okay, I’m just pulling your leg, but MAN, could you imagine a person like that? What a freak they’d be!

DT: Hiroshi looks simply disheveled right now… but now he’s prepared to finish this off! He knows what he’s gotta do, and now as he lifts JA off the mat, he’s prepared to do it!

DM: You can’t mean… HIROSHIMA’S LITTLE BOY??

DT: The very same, Dean!! Hiroshi hooking JA from behind, and lifts him onto his SHOULDERS!! HERE WE GO!!

DM: JA’s going to be FINISHED after this!!

DT: NO!! JA struggling… he’s trying to break free!! Hiroshi having trouble keeping him in place!!

MN: ABORT! ABORT!!

DT: Here’s Hiroshi going to the ropes… and TOSSES JA off his shoulders!

DM: WHOA!! JA lands on his feet on the apron… and grabs Hiroshi by the head for a JAWBREAKER—

DT: TOO LATE!! ROCKO DAYMON with a RUNNING HAMMERBLOW to the back of Kin Hiroshi, and both men at the ropes BUTT HEADS!! JA was just sent TUMBLING to the outside, and now a dazed Kin Hiroshi turns around… right into a BOOT TO THE GUT—

BRAIN ROCKER!!!

DM: OH MAN!! DAYMON, with that SIT-OUT DOUBLE-UNDERHOOK FACEBUSTER, just BURIED Kin Hiroshi into the mat, and now he’s in a position to WIN this!! Where’s JA!?

DT: JA still on the outside as Daymon… wait, not going for a pin? Now he’s mounting Hiroshi across the back…

DM: What the HELL is he doing?!

DT: Daymon going for a Camel Clutch? NO!! GOES FOR A GEDO CLUTCH!!!

DM: WOW!! JA trying to make it into the ring for a SAVE!!

DT: Here’s the pin…


ONE!!!





TWO!!!



THREEE!!!!

[The bell rings JUST as JA knocks Daymon off of Hiroshi… but is just a second too late. “Death Is This Communion” hits the PA as the referee helps the victorious Daymon to his feet. JA slaps the mat in frustration while Kin Hiroshi recovers on the mat.]

TF: Here is your winner… and OFFICIAL Number One Contender…

RROOOOCCKOOO DDAAAYYYYMOOOOOONNN!!

DT: What an UNBELIEVABLE VICTORY for Rocko Daymon! I had almost written him off after he was put away by JA, but Daymon pulled out all the stops and came back to win this at the most opportunistic moment!

DM: And did so with a little flair. He may have been anticipating Hiroshi kicking out of the Brain Rocker, which ISN’T outside of the Muffin Man’s power… but instead, Daymon opted for that innovated Gedo Clutch pin, and sealed the deal.

MN: Well, Dean, the guy you DIDN’T want to win ended up winning. How does that make you feel?

DM: Ugh… you know, Mike, even though I’m admittedly a bigger fan of wrestling talents like JA or Hiroshi… I can at least say I enjoyed the entirety of this match, and the performance put forward from all four men. Considering all that, I’ll just leave it by saying they’re all winners in my book.

DT: Completely true, Dean. This was an EXHAUSTING match, and all of these men wanted victory like nothing else! But TONIGHT… Rocko Daymon has earned his spot at Black Dawn against the champion, Sean Stevens, and considering EVERYTHING that’s gone done between them recently, I’d say he deserved this victory every step of the way!

MN: Imagine how much of an ass he’s going to feel like after Stevens whoops him…

DM: Wait a minute, speaking of…!

[The cheering audience suddenly begins to BOO as the camera pans over to the stage… where the champion himself, SEAN STEVENS, appears, wearing a wry smile and carrying the belt over his shoulder. In the ring, Rocko Daymon stares daggers back into him.]

DT: The animosity between these men is unprecedented! Sean Stevens has been the thorn in Daymon’s side for many months, and when these two collide at Black Dawn, we can nothing short of ABSOLUTE PANDEMONIUM!

DM: No doubts about that, Dave… and considering what went down earlier tonight with Caitlyn Daymon, I’m sure Rocko feels pretty damn good about—

MN: OH, HE AIN’T FEELING GOOD NOW!!

DT: WAIT!! WHAT IS THIS?!

[The boos SPIKE as STALKER, having emerged practically unseen from the crowd and slipped into the ring, begins ASSAULTING Rocko Daymon from behind! Almost as soon as Daymon has been put to the mat amid a flurry of strikes from his nemesis, Stevens comes sprinting down the ramp…]

DM: Oh no… this is going to get UGLY!!

MN: I smell a beatdown!!

DT: The alliance between Stalker and Stevens is apparently STILL in tact, as the World Champion slides into the ring, and now BOTH men ruthlessly attack the new number one contender! Either they’re sending a clear message or they’re not going to give Rocko the chance to even MAKE IT to Black Dawn!

DM: Here’s Stalker bringing Daymon off the mat… and THROWS him to Stevens—WHO JUST PASTES HIM ACROSS THE FOREHEAD WITH THAT GOLD TITLE!!

[The arena becomes a FLOOD of boos as Stevens stands over Daymon, holding out the belt for him to see, and SPITTING ON HIM while he’s down!]

DM: Rocko has no help here…

DT: OR MAYBE HE DOES!! HERE’S JA AND HIROSHI TO THE RESCUE!!

[The audience POPS TREMENDOUSLY as Hiroshi and JA, suddenly forgetting their disappointment, come to the aid of Rocko Daymon by going toe to toe with his attackers!]

DT: HERE WE GO!! Chaos in the ring, as Hiroshi lays into the face of Stalker and JA goes after the champion!

MN: What a bunch of crap! They wouldn’t be doing this if they didn’t have strength in numbers!

DT: Only four men are standing, Mike! Learn to count!

MN: I know how to count! Kinda have to, at the dog tracks…

DM: And a HASTY RETREAT is made before Stevens of them can suffer any more damage! It’s JA and Hiroshi standing tall in the ring now!

[Trash talking is exchanged between both sides, with both Hiroshi and JA giving the “finger-point of death” to the champion, who merely waves them off and goes back up the ramp with Stalker in tow, holding up his title for the thousands of booing fans in attendance. Back in the ring, JA and Hiroshi turn their attention to Rocko Daymon as he struggles to get to his feet. After a moment’s hesitation and exchanging a glance, both men stoop down and help him to his feet.]

DT: There’s a sign of sportsmanship right there…

DM: It may not be a handshake or a simple good luck… but JA and the Muffin Man at least know a little thing called respect.

MN: Respect is for losers… and they lost tonight, so no surprises there.

DT: Obviously, JA and Kin Hiroshi, even after tonight’s setback, aren’t completely turned away from the prospect of competing for the EPW World Heavyweight Title… but they’ll have to wait for their time to come, because tonight, all eyes are on ROCKO DAYMON as he goes into Black Dawn with a momentous victory here tonight!

[To “Death Is This Communion”, Daymon climbs the turnbuckle, pumping his fist into the air for the sea of roaring fans around him. JA and Hiroshi separately exit the ring and go back up the ramp.]

DT: Ladies and gentlemen, we’re about out of time here tonight… we hope you enjoyed the show we had tonight!

DM: It was quality water-cooler talk, that’s for certain.

MN: Eh, it was so-so…

DT: Our next stop is BLACK DAWN!! We hope to see you there for what’s turning out to be quite an event! Until then, I’m Dave Thomas… and on behalf of my partners Mike Neely and Dean Matthews, I’d like to wish you all watching out there a good night!

DM: Drive safe!

[Fade to black.]
 
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