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AGGRESSION 30: Des Moines, Iowa - 4/13/07

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DBrunkGXW

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Prologue

Blaine Richards used to be a devilish warrior, one whose name struck fear and awe into his opponents. Now he was older. Much older.

His hair fell down around to his shoulders, curled to a degree and whitened to a perfect age. His face, once strong and proud, still had a look of strength to it, but was noticeably old. He walked with a particular limp derived from the endless beatings and battles he had almost succumbed to, but he hid it as well as he could. For now, he would live through another warrior. One that he believed had the potential greater than his own.

Blaine Richards: Andrew…

He opened the door just a crack. As he looked in, Arson Zanders was found slumped over in his chair with a bottle in his hand.

Blaine Richards: [annoyed] Jesus Christ…

He closed the door quickly and walked over to Arson, grabbing the bottle from Andrew, whose lips made a sucking sound once separated.

Arson looked over at Blaine with sunken eyes.

Arson Zanders: I thought I told you to never call me Andrew. The name’s Arson.

Blaine Richards: [smugl] I remember. Although I still don’t agree with you taking that god awful name. Lord knows your parents knew what they were doing when they named you.

Arson Zanders: [scoffs] My parents…My parents are bigger screw ups than I am. Do you realize how bad they are off?

Blaine Richards: [angrily points to the bottle] Probably a bit better than sucking this crap up. God, I thought we had discussed this already.

Arson Zanders: [nods lazily] We did.

Blaine Richards: And what did we agree on?

Arson Zanders: No more booze.

The truth was so obvious, but it was not setting in with Arson. Blaine looked on with an almost sympathetic look, but just shook his head in disgust.

Blaine Richards: Arson, you’ve got to pull yourself together. This can’t keep happening.

Arson Zanders: And it won’t.

Arson stumbles to his feet, using the chair for support. He almost toppled over, prompting Blaine to come over quickly and balance the young fighter.

Arson Zanders: …this was just a quick side trip.

Blaine Richards: Yeah, a side trip to Hell.

Arson Zanders: Maybe I should ask my mum how it’s like before I go there. Lord knows she’s had quite a bit of experience herself with the ol’ bottle…

He chuckled at the thought.

Blaine Richards: What’s gotten you so upset? You were fine when we made it to the arena tonight.

Arson shrugged off his long time trainer, spitting onto the ground.
Arson Zanders: People like Daymon have gotten to me. Punks like that should be dealt with, Zanders style.

Blaine Richards: What the hell are you talking about?

Arson shakes his head, remembering the days when he used to wander the streets of Chicago as a teenager. How spare change was like the gods smiling down upon him for some good deed he had forgotten he had done.

Arson Zanders: I just got here, and look what I find. Nakita, just another bastard with no credibility. I think I’m about to pick my first fight, Blaine.

Blaine Richards: [cautions Arson] Be careful. From what I’ve heard, this girl is no joke. She may be a woman, but she’ll knock you out in less than a minute.

With a chuckle, Arson punches a hole into the wall, with pieces of plaster and paint coming off from his hand.

Arson Zanders: Let her try. But I think it’ll be the other…other…other…way around…

Arson fell to his knees, unable to keep himself balanced. Blaine took out two pills and placed them in Arson’s hands. He whispered in his ear.

Blaine Richards: Take these pills. They’ll help with the hangover. Go to the lounge and get some food in your stomach. Get yourself together. I want you in the front row with me tonight when we scout out the talent.

Blaine left the pills in Arson’s hands as he got up and left for the door. He looked back and watched Arson stir briefly.

He’ll get up. Even though he’s done, Arson always gets back up.​
 

DBrunkGXW

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Intro - State of Disunion

[CUE UP: "Imperial March" - Rage Against the Machine. A video montage plays, featuring smoke-wreathed images of various wrestlers, some of them leaving blurred trails as they move.
CUT TO: Beast nailing the Absolution on Adam Benjamin.
CUT TO: Karl Brown coming off the ropes with a Quebrada.
CUT TO: Steven Shane standing victorious in the ring.
CUT TO: JA delivering the Karelin Driver to Ron Artest
CUT TO: Adam Benjamin delivering a Shining Wizard to Karl Brown.
CUT TO: Joey Melton, mugging for the crowd.
CUT TO: An unhappy IrishRed stomping Wong-Pei.
CUT TO: Lindsay Troy dropkicking Beast.
CUT TO: Chip Friendly and Cameron Cruise locking up in the middle of the ring.
CUT TO: Anarky, raining lefts and rights down on Irishred.
CUT TO: Dan Ryan sitting sedately in a chair, staring into the camera - smiling.
CUT TO: With a clash of metal, a logo slams across the screen, its edges flickering.]

Aggression 30

DT: Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines, Iowa and Empire Pro Wrestling’s Aggression 30!! I’m your party host, Dave Thomas. With me as always are Dean Matthews and the one and only Mike Neely!

MN: I’ve never seen so much friggin’ corn in my entire life! Have you two been outside? I think I got dive bombed by a flock of crows for crying out loud!

DM: You’re lucky they didn’t leave a souvenir on your shoulder while flying overhead. They could’ve…..wait, weren’t you wearing a different shirt earlier tonight?

MN: Yes.

[Matthews just smiles.]

MN: Shut up, Dean.

[“Sober” by Tool kicks up over the speakers and the crowd stands to its feet as Anarky steps out onto the stage and walks to the ring. He offers up no fanfare and simply calls for a mic.]

ANARKY: "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen... to the NEW Empire Pro Wrestling.

"You and I have just begin what I hope will be a most... rewarding relationship. You see, the old management... well, let's face it: business just wasn't taken care of like it should've been.

"Instead, certain... sores.. were allowed to grow, like a fungus. A plague on this league. For now, though, Mr. Red has been left... half the man he was.

"Sorry, Red. You know how it is. Play with fire, get burned, right?"

[Boos.]

ANARKY: "Now, the past is the past. And Red, you WILL pay for your transgressions.

"But first, I must deal with something else. You see, it isn't enough to stand here, before you, barking orders and exposing the lies perpetrated by this league.

"No, my friends, things are going to change around you. You want a piece of me? You can come and get it like everyone else.

"Now, I could start at the bottom, beating on nobodies like Rocko Daymon and Beau Michaels.

"But... I just feel... it won't give me what I need.

"Long has it been since I felt that sweet taste... the pure sound of bones cracking... the begging of mercy.

"Beast.

"You and I... we have unfinished business. You see, not so long ago, yoU SHOULD have had your ass handed to you. But no. You escaped my tainted caress.

"But things have begun anew, and let no sin go unpunished.

"Beast, I'm going to give you a chance. Let's face it... you? You're no match for me. A weak, spineless little coward.

"So you and I and another man... we shall have a three-way dance at the next Aggression. Oh yes, my friend.

"Who shall it be....... hm. Steven Shane?"

[Incredibly loud boos.]

ANARKY: "No, Beast... too f*cking easy. Y'know what? I'm gonna let you pick.

"Go ahead. Pick someone. Anyone. I don't give a f*ck.

"Because I'm gonna hunt you down like the dog you are. And I'm going to show this entire LEAGUE how the new EPW runs. I'm going to show you what happens when some half-assed talent thinks it's something it isn't.

"Beast, the clock is ticking. You can pick whomever you like. Makes no difference to me.

"Because this is MY league now. This is MY home. Not yours. Not Red's. Not anyone's.

"This all belongs to me now...

"... you just don't see it yet."

[Anarky is interrupted as the lights in the arena turn red and white.]

MN: Who DARES interrupt The Chairman?

[The sound of chanting monks fill the arena, and fade out into Nickelback's "Figure You Out", and the crowd lets out a HUGE pop as Beast steps through the curtain, wearing a blue security officer's uniform, and carrying a clipboard full of papers.]

MN: Oh, jeez, it's Loafy. Why did he have to ruin a great moment like this? And what's with the gay getup?

DT: Oh come on, Neely, will you shut up for a moment? I'm sure there's a reason why Beast is out here.

MN: Yes. To torment us, I'm sure.

Beast: 'Narko, dear boy, I'm SURE you've got a lot of business to take care of, now that Red's out injured. I mean, now that you've got all the STROKE around here, and I'm sure your ego isn't going to stroke itself, and neither is your shriveled penis...

[Crowd pops, and Anarky simply smirks at Beast, though his eyes tell a different story.]

Beast: ...you must be a REALLY busy man. Or, is that what your little assistant Shane is for? And here I thought Dan just hired him for his good looks and typing speed. But enough of that... I've got some business to take care of.

[Beast holds up the clipboard in the air.]

Beast: This right here is a signed order from Irishred himself. Since he can't be here to properly fulfill all of his duties, he asked me to help him out.

DT: For those of you that don't know, Irishred is home with a broken leg and a concussion, most likely suffered at the hands of those men in the ring themselvs, along with Dan Ryan.

MN: You hush. Not a damned thing's been proven, so unless you've got some real proof, I suggest you shut your mouth before Anarky does it for you.

Beast: I couldn't possibly say no to the man that hates Dan Ryan's guts just as much as I do, so I guess you could say I've been DEPUTIZED.

DT: What the hell?

Beast: As per Irishred, I have accepted the position as HEAD OF EPW SECURITY!

[Anarky looks at Beast, a little confused.]

MN: Well, that explains the gay uniform.

Beast: Listen up. That means that whenever a couple of jackoffs like you and Dan Ryan decide to get a little out of hand, I'M going to be there to restore order. I'm the head Enforcer hombre. That means that anytime anyone tries to take things into their own hands, that they're going to have to go through ME to do it. I'm here to uphold Red's ideals and keep you ass-clowns in check. I'm here to keep this company from spiraling out of control, and make sure your heads don't get any bigger than they already are.

[Anarky heads to the ring ropes and leans over them, pointing a finger at Beast.]

Anarky: Head of Security, huh? Head Enforcer? That’s something I’d like to see you try. Try enforcing me, Beast. Make a wrong move, and you're going to PAY for it.

Beast: I'm looking forward to it. As for your match suggestion?? You've got it. You'll get your three way dance, and I'll announce the third person this week. Til then....chairman.

["Figure You Out" plays over the PA again, and Beast leaves the stage, leaving Anarky staring after him as the show fades to commercial.]
 
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DBrunkGXW

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Dan Ryan vs. Ling-Long the double amputee

DT: Folks, our next match was supposed to come to you LIVE, but unfortunately, due to rules of international waters; we could not have a floating ring with lights in the middle of the ocean at night.

DM: But never one to disappoint, we here at EPW were able to have a ring in the middle of the ocean in the middle of the day. Therefore, the match that you are about to see is videotaped. However, we will be watching along with you and making all the calls.

MN: Yes! There’s nothing like calling a match that’s already happened.

DT: Is that sarcasm, Neels?

MN: Me? Nooooo…

DT: Well folks, we see that Dan Ryan and Ling-Long are already in the ring here.

DM: And Ling-Long certainly seems to be having a time simply standing up here. How the hell is he going to actually wrestle “The Ego Buster” here?

MN: Maybe he’s going to smell him to death with the nose he doesn’t have.

DT: Certainly an interesting strategy, Neels. But I doubt that’s going to happen. The two step to the middle of the ring here as the ref calls for the bell…

DM: And Ling-Long catches Ryan with a right hand that caught The Ego Buster on the blindside! And now another!

DT: Ling-Long looks to be taking it to Ryan here. He hops to the ropes. And now he rebounds…

MN: Can you really call that a rebound?

DT: Well, Ling-Long comes off the ropes…

DM: OH MY GOD! Dan Ryan just took Ling-Long’s head off with a devastating clothesline there! Ryan goes for the cover…

1…

2…

DT: But Ling-Long kicks out!

MN: Well, that was stupid.

DT: Apparently, Ling-Long is taking this match seriously as he gets pulled back up to his feet here by Ryan. Ryan stands Ling-Long vertically…

DM: But Ling-Long spits right in the face of the former owner of Empire Pro!

MN: That’s not a good move either…

DT: Ryan wipes the spit off his face. He draws back…

DM: And he nails Ling-Long right in the…

DT: Nose space?

MN: That move was obvious. He should’ve smelled that one out.

DT: Dear God, Neels.

MN: You didn’t think it was obvious?

DT: You’re out of control. Back to the match…

DM: Well, Ling-Long has unfortunately found himself in a gutwrench here… And there’s a belly-to-belly suplex!

DT: Ryan goes for another pin here…

1…

2…

Kickout by Ling-Long!

DM: I don’t believe what’s going on here! Why does Ling-Long continue to kick out when Ryan is trying to finish this match as quickly as possible?

MN: It seems as though he has more guts than limbs… I mean brains.

DT: Well, Ryan pulls Ling-Long back up here again. But wait! Ling-Long falls right back to the mat!

DM: And he’s grabbing onto Ryan’s leg with both arms! What the hell is he doing?

DT: I don’t know! Ryan is walking around and trying to kick Ling-Long off of him, but Ling-Long is holding on for dear life!

MN: I think I’ve seen this move before.

DT: Where would you have seen a move like this?

MN: My kid’s daycare. One of his classmates eventually forced the teacher into submission.

DT: And still, I’m not surprised.

DM: Well, I think that Ling-Long is going to find out that this move isn’t always successful.

DT: Dan Ryan has finally stopped in the middle of the ring here. He draws back…

DM: And a HUGE double axe handle to the back of Ling-Long!

DT: The double amputee falls to the mat in a slump. Ryan reaches down and grabs him by the throat.

DM: And he lifts Ling-Long right off the mat like that! He pulls him up and over his head… chokeslam!

DT: Dan Ryan has had enough of Ling-Long’s games here, it would appear. He reaches down and pulls him back up again. This time, he pulls him into a standing headscissors…

DM: Humility Bomb!

DT: Ryan makes the cover…

1…

2…

3!!!

DT: Dan Ryan has survived the challenge that Irishred has put before him here tonight!

MN: It wasn’t that difficult of one.

DT: Absolutely true, but Ling-Long didn’t- What the hell?

DM: Ryan has pulled Ling-Long back up here! What’s he going to do with him?

DT: He lifts him up over his head…

DM: And Ryan gorilla presses Ling-Long over the top rope and into the ocean! I don’t believe this! This must be a message to Irishred!

DT: Folks, we’ve got more action to come, and I assure you that it will be LIVE and within this arena. Don’t go anywhere!​
 

DBrunkGXW

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Ice Tre is hardcore

DM: Some of tonight's big matches will determine the semi-finalists in the 2007 King of the Cage tournament -- winner gets a shot at the most coveted title in the sport right now, the EPW World Championship at Russian Roulette. The truth of the matter is, it could be any ONE of the remaining eight participants we'll see in action tonight--

MN: Not necessarily "any", Dean. I can think of one guy in this tournament who stands NO chance of advancing tonight ... hell, it's a miracle he survived his first round match, let alone got to the next round!

DT: Ice Tre put on quite a show a few weeks ago when fate intervened, I guess you could say, and he walked out of Aggression as the victor in a VERY brutal cage match against "Yours Truly" Adam Benjamin.

MN: He got his ass kicked, Dave! Say it!

DT: He certainly did not come across as a polished in-ring performer.

MN: That's sugar coating it.

DT: Actually, I'm being told that Kenny Lombardo is backstage right now, and has got Ice Tre cornered for a moment. We're going to try to get a word with the self-proclaimed King of the Streets, Ice Tre. He's going up against a man tonight in "Triple X" Sean Stevens, whom Tre has quickly gotten to know quite well, given their run-ins since Tre's debut. It'll be interesting to hear his thoughts going into this contest.

MN: You sure about that?

DT: Let's go to Kenny Lombardo, backstage.

[CUTTO: Backstage. Anxiously awaiting his cue, Kenny Lombardo holds his earpiece in with his index finger. He turns to the camera with a slight smile, gesturing to the lockerroom door behind him. The nameplate reads "T R E".]

KL: Thanks, Dave. I just caught Tre arriving here at the Wells Fargo Center; let's see if we can't get a quick word with him.

[He knocks at the door and waits just a moment. It suddenly swings open and There He Be.]

ICE TRE: S'appnin', baby? What it IS, 'bardo?

[The fans pop at Tre's trademark line. Wearing nothing but an awkwardly large chain around his pasty-white neck, an equally massive four-finger ring on his right hand, a pair of baggy jeans, and bulky boots Ice Tre was ready for WAR.]

ICE TRE: Ready to STOMP somebody, yo! Just how I do!

[Tre nods his head proudly as he stepped into the hallway.]

KL: Ice Tre, ever since your debut here in EPW at Wrestleverse II you have been crossing paths with the man who would be your opponent later on tonight. In the last week your on-air promo's for this event have really set Sean Stevens off. You apparently, likely unwittingly, made things very personal by making reference to hard, sad times in Triple X's personal life--

ICE TRE: Step off, Lenny'bardo! Triple got all bent 'cause I brought up his late friend, Lucky. He thinks I was raggin' on him -- and I wasn't. I lost plently of peoplez, plenty of soldiers in the game and in life. He be showin' his weakness by makin' threats fueled by emotion, an' ****. Tonight, Ice Tre gon' capitalize on that and ride it to victory once more. I'mma dominate Sean Stevenz tonight just like I dominated Adam Benjamin in round one, yo. Ice Tre on the RISE!

[Tre thrusts his hand at the camera, violently brandishing his hideous four finger ring.]

KL: Explain to the world again ... why did you, why WOULD you initially target an athlete as accomplished and proficient as "Triple X" Sean Stevens?

ICE TRE: You just said it, B. 'Cause you and the world - an' especially he, HIMSELF - think that he's just 'bout the "Greatest Wrestler on the Planet". And, well ... I think he's NOTHIN'. I think he's a BUSTA. I think he's...

[CUTTO: "Triple X" Sean Stevens, in a sleeveless, grey "Planet Earth's Champion™" t-shirt, black tights, and dark sunglasses…. standing DIRECTLY behind Ice Tre.]

KL: I think he's standing right here, Tre.

[Tre turns his head, finding a surprise there waiting. Always quick on his toes, however, Tre was DEFINITELY cool about the situation about to transpire.]

ICE TRE: What's UP, Stevenz? You want beef NOW, son? Can't wait to settle our bid'niss in the ring, in the cage?

[Trip removed his sunglasses, and moved in closer, so that he was directly in Ice Tre's face. Tre didn't budge, emotions unreadable behind his OWN pair of shades.]

STEVENS: Listen to me, and listen carefully, little boy. I'm done trying to figure out who you are, and just who in the hell it is you're trying to be. I don't give a flying **** if your words were misconstrued, or if you didn't know or understand the magnitude of the **** that was coming out of your mouth when you said it. All I care about is your lack of respect for me, my family, and friends and the fact that it was said, and Ice Tre … if you say it again…

[Trip patted Tre on the cheek.]

STEVENS: ….Kid, I'm going to beat your ass so bad your MOTHER won't recognize you. And, that's a promise.

[The two men stood there for a moment, sizing each other up. After a couple of tense seconds, Trip – apparently feeling like the situation would go no further – turned his back on Tre and began to walk away.]

KL: OH MY!

[Ice Tre grabs Triple X's shoulder and jerks him around just as he unloads a stiff right hook across Stevens jaw.]

DT: Tre just laid Stevens out! He just blasted him with that right hand ... with that huge ring on his hand! Acting almost like BRASS KNUCKLES!

[Tre quickly grabbed his duffel bag from his lockerroom and confidently made an exit, his voice echoing through the arena halls.]

ICE TRE: See you later, Triple! Hah HA!

[Laying in a heap on the floor, hands clutching his head, Sean Stevens is in serious pain. There is no blood but his face is twisted in a unique contortion. A few production crewmen attend to him anxiously, one calling out for real help.]

MN: Wow! Tre just laid Triple X out AGAIN! And THAT one looked like it really hurt! That ring on Ice Tre's hand connected on target and I gotta tell ya; the way he fell, the way Stevens head hit that concrete ... I can't believe he's still conscious!

DM: Here come the EMT's!

DT: I can not believe what we have just witnessed! I certainly hope that Sean Stevens is alright, fans ... because this match NEEDS to happen!​
 

DBrunkGXW

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Arson Zanders vs. Nakita Dahaka

DT: Well folks, we're trying to get an update on Sean Stevens condition backstage, but reports are slow in coming. Word has it that Stevens is on his way to the hospital, so it certainly throws his liklihood of competition here tonight into doubt.

[SFX: Ring bell x 3]

TONY FATORA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, with no time limit. Introducing first...

[The lights go completely out, only to be replaced with red lighting illuminating the arena, and black lights all over the stage and entrance.]

TF: Hailing from Phoenix, Arizona, she stands six feet, four inches tall, and weighs in at one-hundred-and-eighty-five pounds...

[CUE UP: "Gently" by Slipknot.]

[The EmpireTron ques up a nicely prepared video montage of Nakita Dahaka executing numerous high flying innovative moves on several known and unknown oponants that flow in sync with the intro and song. A thick cold fog rolls into the arena from the stage and down the ramp. A lone spotlight hovers directly over one single spot on the stage floor. A ring of fire surrounds the trapdoor, which then opens and raises up onto the stage Nakita Dahaka along side her manager Delilah Demonik. Nakita cracks her knuckles as she mentally prepares to walk down the ramp toward the ring keeping full focus on the tasks at hand. The lone spotlight dangles directly over her head and follows her wherever she goes.

TF: Accompanied by her manager, the lovely Delilah Demonik... she is... NAKIIIIIIITAAAAAAAA DA-HAAAAAAKAAAAAAAAA!

MN: Mmmm.... sexy, evil females.

Nakita and Delilah leave the stage and walk down the aisle toward the ring ignoring whatever cheers and jeers coming from the arena crowd. Nakita arrives at ringside, walks up the ringsteps, across the ring apron, then steps between the ropes into the ring, taking a knee in the center of the ring. The spotlight hovers directly over her head coming to a complete stop. Delilah slides off Nakita's leather trenchcoat and exits the ring to coach her pupil on from ringside. The main arena lights come back on as her theme song fades out.

MN: I'm tellin' ya right now, that I would bury my-

DT: FAMILY SHOW!!

DM: He'll never stop.

TF: And, her opponent...

[CUE UP: "End All" by Anathema.]

TF: Fighting out of Manchester, England, he stands six feet, one inch tall, and weighs in at two-hundred and four pounds, he is The Inferno... he is... ARRRRRRRRSONNNNNNNN ZAAAAAAAANDERRRRRRRS!!

[A pyro blast goes off around the stage as Zanders comes through the curtain and begins walking down the ramp. He focuses on Dahaka, and slides into the ring, never taking his eyes off of her.]

DT: Look at the focus on the face of Arson Zanders. He's staring a hole through Dahaka!

MN: He's looking at her boobies. THOSE ARE MY BOOBIES!

DM: Careful Neels... I'm sure Frankie Scott is out there somewhere watching, so you don't want to get on his bad side, do you?

MN: Why the hell should I care?

DT: Well, he and Delilah were somewhat.... friendly... in recent times.

DM: You've got competition, Neely.

MN: Hmmph.

[SFX: Ring bell!]

DT: Alright, we're under way! Lock up coming up... but Dahaka has other ideas! Foot to the twig and berries, and Zanders is down!

DM: Wisely using the Great Equalizer as the Great Advantage Getter!

DT: Dahaka's layig the boots into Zanders now... there's a pick up, and a whip to the ropes... high knee, and Zanders is down again! Cover only gets a one count, and the Dark Phenom once again pulls Zanders to his feet. Whip to the ropes, no, short arm clothesline, but Zanders ducks! A spinning backfist stuns Dahaka, and Zanders follows that up nicely with a big headbutt!

MN: Look Ma, no hands!

DT: That headbutt rocks Dahaka, but she doesn't go down!

MN: I'd love to test that theory!

DT: Zanders comes in with a running knee, right to Dahaka's chin and she hits the canvas hard! Knee drop across the chest of Dahaka, and there's another! Zanders goes for a cover!

1...

2...

Kickout!

DT: Zanders pulls Dahaka to her feet, and there's a shot to the guts! A second, followed by a big open hand uppercut strike! Dahaka is reeling! Zanders grabs her, and there's a snap suplex! Zanders rolls through, still controlling Dahaka, and he hits a second snap suplex! There's a pin!

1...

2...

Kickout!

DT: Zanders gets Dahaka back up to her feet, but only long enough to wipe out Dahaka with an axe kick! There's another cover!

1...

2...

Kickout!

DM: Zanders is really showing off his striking ability so far in this one. Any one of these shots could be enough to win the match!

DT: Zanders, reaching down to pull Dahaka up... wait! Small package by Dahaka!

1...

2...

Kickout!

DT: Both competitors are up! There's a right hand from Zanders, but Dahaka ducks.... SWINGING neckbreaker and Zanders is down! A couple stomps are followed by a pick up and whip to the corner... TORNADO DDT!!! Dahaka covers!

1...

2...

Kickout!

DT: Dahaka just can't put Zanders away! What's Dahaka up to now? She's climbing the turnbuckles.... MOONSAULT, but NO WAY HO-SAY! Zanders gets the knees up, and Dahaka's ribs are Montreal steak spice! Zanders gets all over Dahaka, hitting a flurry of maneuvers, assaulting her with a couple elbows, thich kicks, and a leg drop across the throat! As he gets to his feet, Dahaka starts to rise as well.... SHINING WIZARD and Dahaka's down! Zanders covers!

1...

2...

MN: Yes! Delilah put Dahaka's foot on the rope, and the official stopped his count!
The crowd fills the arena with boos, as the official checks on Delilah, but she backs off with her hands up, saying she did nothing!

MN: You tell him, Delilah!

DT: Back in the ring, Zanders pulls Dahaka up, and DRIVES a right hand into her face! Dahaka staggers away, and Zanders charges after her... JUMPING FRONT KICK TO THE FACE, and Dahaka could be out!

MN: But he's not covering her! What's he doing?

DM: Zanders is just making sure, Neels! Look at this!

DT: ROUNDHOUSE SHINING CRESCENT!!!

MN: And here comes Delilah! You get 'em sweetie!

DT: KICK TO THE FACE AND DELILAH BREAKS UP THE COUNT!

[SFX: Ring bell!]

DM: That was, um, BLATANT.

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the result of this match as a result of a disqualification.... your winner... ARRRRSOOONNNNNNNNNNNN ZAAAAAAAANNDEERRRRRRRRRRRSSSS!!!

DT: Zanders is back up, and Delilah goes to drift him one, but Zanders stops her with an elbow to the face and a hip toss that sends Delilah across the ring and out under the bottom rope to the cheers of the crowd!

MN: And here comes Dahaka! Right hand! Another!

DM: Nice block from Zanders!

DT: A right from Zanders! A second! A third! Dahaka's back to the ropes! CLOTHESLINE FROM ZANDERS AND THERE GOES DAHAKA!

"End All" by Anathema blares through the arena, and Zanders gets a nice pop from the crowd!

DT: Zanders gets the DQ win over Dahaka, although he did have the upper hand most of the match! We'll be back right after this!​
 
Last edited:

DBrunkGXW

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Joined
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Messages
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Age
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Location
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Hitchin' a Ride

"No, not really," Karl laughed as he reached into the boot of his BMW. Quickly, he slung his bag over his shoulder, before reaching in and pulling out a second. Slamming the boot closed, he walked around to the passenger-side door. He thought as he did this how funny it usually was when he gave people a lift to the arena - they would instinctively go over to the opposite side from the passenger's door; not to drive, but because Karl had brought the car over from the UK, so the steering wheel was on the wrong side for people used to American vehicles. "Here you go."

Foxx gave one last glance at the - to her - awkwardly arranged vehicle. Foreign cars weren't really all that impressive to her. Having the seat on the wrong damn side didn't really help that belief.

She absentmindedly took her bag before realizing what just happened. "...Thanks." She smiles outwardly and curses herself in her head. Crap! She'd dawdled too long. The least she could have done was meet him halfway. Too late now; subject change! "I don't see why ya can't just do like the natives and rent or buy a car for the States. Instead ya gotta ship over this blasted contraption." Alright, maybe not the best subject change...

"And change gears the wrong way?" he smiled. "I'm too used to having the gear stick down and to the left. Besides," he said, patting the bonnet, "this car is a lot more economical than an American model.

"How do you feel about the match tonight?" He decided to change the subject, again.

"Excited... nervous. My title shots seem to be getting rougher for every time I try. How Mr. Hart managed to fall in as the holder I'll never know. He should be competing for your title. Instead he's stuck fighting up and comers and people like me who can't win a match when it really counts. I'd feel sorry for him if he weren't such a jerk."

"I don't know, the roster here is incredibly tough," Karl shrugged. "In most companies half of the roster would be fighting for the main title. But don't be so nervous, it took me over two years to win a title, and that's with fighting for two World titles, an Intercontinental title and taking part in too many tounaments." He thought back through each of those moments - against Benjamin, Maelstrom, in the Natural Selections, losing to Christian Sands in the tournament to decide the first World Champion in EPW - some writers were shocked he'd never held the main title himself. "Do you think you can win?"

Foxx has to think for a second before answering. "Honestly, I don't know. It's gonna be touch and go...a lot. I think I can at least make a decent running if I manage to keep my mind from drifting this time. I say it's a toss up."

"And uh... I'm not competing for a world or intercontinental, hun. If the television title hadn't been instated I can only imagine how bottom of the barrel I'd be. That and my two year mark is coming up fast. I can only hope the oodles of training I've done recently came out to some small improvement. I guess I'll find out..." She takes a deep, thoughtful breath. Things would be much easier if she wasn't trying to prove so much to herself.

You've got wins over Karla Starr, Cameron Cruise, and Troy Douglas. The longest title holder in the business today, a former tag team and Intercontinental Champion, and former number one contender to the World Title - hell, I know how tough Douglas is, he's beaten me three times," Karl laughed at the reality - suffice to say, Foxx wasn't all that far off where he himself had been. He just had the luck early on of wrestling for World Titles in young companies, and she'd come into Empire Pro after it had been established a while.

She had to laugh a bit. "Luck, luck and luck. I tried three times to shorten Ms. Starr's reign and failed on all three. Mr. Cruise was obviously not at the top of his game at the time and I was lucky having ultra-frosted Ninja K weaken up Mr. Douglas for an easy pin. I don't really take any credit for those wins."

"Luck is a very large part of this business," Karl said, stopping her with a light touch to the back of her elbow. "In my first match, the referee didn't see Dalton's foot on the bottom rope. I then beat Sands in my second match. I've drawn two matches during pinfalls, where an extra few seconds would have given me the win - just ask Lindsay about one of them. The fact is you have those wins, and if it was just pure luck, you wouldn't have at least two of them. You make your own luck in this business by not making mistakes, and you don't make that many."

Foxx turned to face him with a crooked smile, holding her bag behind her back with both hands. "Such flattery! I've made my share of mistakes and you know it. If I was as good as you claim I am, than I wouldn't have so many losses under my belt. I got a long way ta go before I could even put up a decent challenge for guys like you. That's not flattery. That's the truth."

Karl started walking again, not turning to her, but smiling all the same. "Then why have you been given another title shot? The name of the title isn't important, it's the pride that surrounds it." He noticed a few magazine writers he recognised standing near the entrance and slowed his pace.

"Simple. I'm right on the borderline of reaching the title. And you of all people should know that I'm not in this for pride..." Foxx hadn't noticed and just kept walking till she realized she'd gotten a bit ahead and turned around, walking backwards.

Karl smiled, noticing one of the reporters getting a camera ready. "A new headline," he thought to himself. "Well," he said out loud, quickening his pace to catch up, "after all the work you've done, I think you'll pull it off tonight. And if you don't," he put his hand lightly on her shoulder, turning her so they could both walk forward, "then I'll train with you until you're ready."

"Ha!" Foxx grinned happily. "It's about time you offered!"

Karl laughed, putting his arm across her shoulders. The reporters only blinked as they passed.

"Only if you lose though - if you win, you don't need my help, do you?"​
 

DBrunkGXW

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Interview with a Daymon, Daymon vs. C.E. Augustus

[Cut to the backstage area, where reporter extraordinaire MOJO MASSEY suddenly bounds into the scene with a mic in hand. Standing next to him before an EPW backdrop is ROCKO DAYMON, tightening the straps on his gloves before his match in a few moments.]

Mojo!: What’s up, guys? It’s MOJO MASSEY on the scene, here to get a word from one of the eight remaining competitors in the King of the Cage tournament, Rocko Daymon.

Daymon: Sup, Mojo. Haven’t seen you in a while. Did you lose weight?

Mojo!: Rocko, in just a few moments, you’ll be entering the cage once again, against an opponent who is, by physical standards, larger and stronger than yourself. What are your thoughts going into this kind of match up?

Daymon: What, you mean my thoughts on a couple punks with a gimmick that’s been done before who name themselves after Roman emperors? Well, my first thought is Communism, Roman Empire…. what the **** is the connection, Mojo?

Mojo!: Couldn’t tell you there.

Daymon: All I know is that C.E. Augustus’ SINGLE CLAIM TO FAME is barely squeaking by the T.V. champ, Shawn Hart.

[Daymon rolls his eyes and visibly shrugs.]

Daymon: Been there, done that. Did it twice in a single night, to be frank. But that’s neither here nor there. So Augustus Gloop might’ve proven himself to be a contender for one of the other titles! but I’ve got bigger things in mind. I’m looking toward the MAIN EVENT! I’m gunning for the EPW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!!

[He makes the ‘belt’ motion across his abdomen.]

Daymon: I have a goal to put that strap around a REAL man’s waist!

Mojo!: Well good luck to you on that, but in regards to Proletariat, do you worry about C.P. Nero possibly getting involved in this match, which helped C.E. Augustus in his win over Shawn Hart last week?

Daymon: If Nero had any brain, which I honestly doubt, then he’d know to keep his nose out of this match. You see, that’s what separates me from Augustus… and what separates a TRUE professional wrestler from some phony in tights who spends more time flexing muscles and talking trash than getting the job done.

Mojo!: How do you mean?

Daymon: A TRUE professional wrestler doesn’t need anybody to help him win matches! I made it this far on my own effort, and I’ll make it to the WORLD TITLE on my own! Augustus has to fall back on his butt-buddy, who finds a way to get involved even with the CAGE in place. But I’ve been in this industry too long to be fooled by that!

Mojo!: Well, Rocko, what about that masked man that helped YOU win your match last week? Were you somehow involved in that?

Daymon: What?! What masked man?! Damnit, Mojo, I’ve already TOLD everybody: THERE’S NO MASKED MAN!! It’s just some rumor that haters are spreading around in order to make ME look bad! You know why, Mojo? Because people are JEALOUS!!

Mojo!: Jealous?

Daymon: They envy the fact that I can go in there and win like a professional, on my own. So they drag MY name through the dirt because they can only DREAM of being someone like me!

Mojo!: But, nearly EVERYONE saw last week when that masked figure—

Daymon: Ah, to hell with this ‘masked man’ crap, Mojo! If you’re gonna waste my time boring me to death with these irrelevant questions, then this interview is finished!

[Angrily, Rocko Daymon storms off toward the ring entrance area, leaving Mojo to shake his head in confusion.]

Mojo!: Back to you, guys.

[Cut to the ring]

[“Break The Silence” by Killswitch Engage invades the PA. The team of Proletariat: C.E. Augustus and C.P. Nero appear at the top of the stage to a chorus of boos.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen… the following contest is a second round match-up of the Empire Pro KING OF THE CAGE TOURNAMENT!! Introducing first… hailing from Dallas, Texas… weighing in at 311 pounds… HE IS THE MARXIST ENFORCER…… SEE—EE—AAAAUUUGUUUUUSSSTUUUUUSSS!!!!

DT: What do you think of C.E. Augustus, guys?

DM: Dunno if I buy the whole “Communist” thing… but Augustus has proven he can play with the big boys. He had an impressive win over Shawn Hart last week, of course, he had a little help from his partner, C.P. Nero…

MN: Hart was CHEATED, damn it!!

DT: You really have to wonder if C.E. Augustus is keeping C.P. Nero in mind during this match… but can he compete to his full potential when his attention is divided?

[“Stones From The Sky” by Neurosis kicks in over the PA. With only a career highlight reel marking his entrance, Daymon appears at the top of the stage and holds both of his fists into the air.]

TF: And introducing next… hailing from Tacoma, Washington… weighing in at 243 pounds…. HERE IS……….. ROOOOOCKOOOOOOO DAAAAAAYYYYMOOOOOOOONNNN!!!!

[The fan response is a wave of LOUD BOOS from the audience! Daymon sneers at this greeting and verbally berates them as he makes his way to the ring.]

DM: These fans are really letting him have it tonight…

MN: That’s because Iowans wouldn’t know true talent if it smacked the livid crap out of them personally.

DT: Rocko Daymon, of course, has come under MUCH scrutiny after his controversial win over Arson Zanders last week, thanks in part to a masked assailant’s interference near the end of the match. Daymon has denied involvement—and even gone as far as to deny the incident entirely—but these won’t easily forgive a man who cheats to progress in this King of the Cage tournament.

DM: That wasn’t just an isolated incident, either—I heard a masked person wearing similar clothes got involved in his match at the TEAM Invitational Tournament. So whoever it is… somehow, they have a connection to the man who is just now entering the steel cage.

MN: You guys are crazy.

DT: Both competitors are in the ring. The cage door has been closed… the bell has been rung… and this match is underway! Daymon and Augustus start things off by circling each other… and there’s the lock-up! WHOA!! Augustus puts his strength to work, throwing Daymon down to the mat!

DM: C.E. Augustus definitely has the size advantage in this match… which would put Rocko in a dangerous situation while confined to a cage. But fortunately for him, he’s got nearly a decade of experience to his credit.

DT: Rocko’s back on his feet and both men cautiously begin circling each other again… Augustus lunges forward—but Daymon quickly slips behind him and grabs him around the waist! Ooh, elbow to the face from C.E. Augustus sends him reeling back!

DM: Daymon’s going to have to rethink his strategy. There’s more than one way to out-wrestle a larger opponent, but trying to overpower him is like breaking down a brick wall with your head.

MN: Eh, I’ve seen stranger things happen. Rocko practically makes a living banging his head into things…

DT: Both men circling each other for a third time… this time Rocko shoots forward, going for the legs! But C.E. Augustus counters with a HAMMERBLOW across the back! He quickly hooks him by both arms… lifts him up, and DRIVES HIM ONTO HIS KNEE with a Double-Underhook Backbreaker!

DM: Augustus is sticking to that fine working-class strength of his… back on his feet, hits the ropes, NAILS Daymon with the elbow drop!

DT: Augustus gets Daymon back to his feet… whips him into the ropes… goes for the clothesline, but Rocko DUCKS! Daymon hits the other set of ropes… CRASHES into Augustus with a hard-hitting Shoulder Block! But Augustus is still standing!

DM: Gonna need more than that to topple the giant.

DT: Rocko runs into the ropes again… CONNECTS with a Dropkick! And Augustus STILL won’t go down!

MN: Big boy’s been eating his spinach!

DT: Daymon runs into the ropes again… but C.E. Augustus meets him with a BIG BOOT—DUCKED BY ROCKO DAYMON, who quickly reaches back and DRILLS Augustus with a falling neckbreaker!

MN: “Neckbreaker”… puh. Come on, Dave, big guys don’t have necks!

DT: Rocko has control for the first time in this match, and let’s see where he’ll go with it. He brings C.E. August back to his feet and holds him around the head… QUICKLY puts him back down with a Jawbreaker! Daymon quickly takes him by the leg… and delivers a HARD boot to the knee!

DM: The best way to cripple a larger opponent is to go for the legs. The extra weight puts a tremendous strain on the lower supports.

MN: Yeah, you take out the support, and watch him collapse faster than Russia’s economy after the arms race.

DT: Augustus rolls over, grabbing his leg in pain… but Daymon just takes him the leg again and DRIVES IT DOWN into the mat, putting more pressure on that knee! Now Rocko’s getting him back to his feet… takes him by the head… and drives him FACE FIRST into that steel chain-link wall of the cage!

MN: “The Iron Curtain” meets the Iron Curtain!

DT: Daymon gets C.E. Augustus back up… looking to throw him into the cage again—NO!! Augustus gets the boot up in time, and drives DAYMON into the steel cage wall! Daymon BOUNCES back to the mat clutching his face in agony!

DM: I was never a fan of cage matches. As easy as it is to use them to your benefit, they can just as easily be used against you. A clean, technical fight, now… THAT’S what determines a good wrestler.

MN: That, or having the last name “Windham”.

DT: Daymon’s back on his feet, but C.E. Augustus is right there to meet him! Augustus grabs him by the head and rams him HEAD-FIRST into the turnbuckle! Now he leans him up against the ropes… BIG CHOP ACROSS THE CHEST!! FOLLOWS UP WITH A SECOND!!

MN: Making Rocko’s chest a delightful shade of commie red…

DT: Now Augustus grabs him by the head, and YANKS him out of the corner! Rocko makes it to his feet, but a CLOTHESLINE puts him down on the mat once again!

MN: Come on, Rocko, you’re getting your ass handed to you by a dead political regime!

DM: Augustus has been looking sharp in there… but Daymon’s the kind of guy who can withstand a lot of punishment.

DT: C.E. Augustus takes a moment to catch his breath… and now he’s heading for the door! OH WAIT!! Rocko’s got him by the leg!

MN: It’s like Reagan’s ghost coming back from the grave to put the fear of Capitalism into his heart!

DT: Augustus tries to shake him loose… but Daymon trips him up and locks on a SINGLE CRAB!! Augustus has nowhere to go!!

MN: What’s the point? Can’t they only win by escaping the cage?

DM: That’s the same leg Rocko was working on earlier. The more strain he puts on it, the slower C.E. Augustus will be.

DT: Augustus can’t tap out in this situation, but Rocko Daymon has the hold locked in tight, and his opponent is in AGONY!

MN: That’s for taking Cuba away from us, *****! I miss those cigars…

DT: FINALLY, Rocko breaks the hold… and now he’s getting Augustus up to his feet… there’s the whip to the ropes!

DM: Augustus seems to be limping a bit…

DT: Augustus returns… and Daymon meets him with a big right hand! Follows up with a second! Follows that with a BIG DISCUS PUNCH that knocks C.E. Augustus into the steel cage!

MN: This is great! It’s like watching Patrick Swayze kicking ass in Red Dawn! GO WILDCATS!!

DM: I think they were called the “Wolverines”, Mike.

MN: Eh, whatever…

DT: Augustus is reeling on his feet… and Daymon goes for a BIG RIGHT HOOK—DUCKED by Augustus!! Augustus looking for an atomic drop—but OH MY!! Rocko Daymon runs STRAIGHT UP THE CAGE WALL, OVER Augustus, and BLASTS him with a REVERSE DDT!!

DM: Can’t say I’ve seen THAT pulled off in every cage match I’ve ever seen…

DT: What a remarkable feat… but Rocko Daymon’s climbing up the wall of the cage now! C.E. Augustus is still dazed on the mat, and Daymon’s nearly at the halfway point!

MN: U-S-A!! U-S-A!!

DM: The guys in Proletariat are American, Mike…

DT: WAIT A MINUTE!! C.P. Nero on the outside has slipped his hands into the cage, and is now holding onto Rocko’s leg! Daymon’s trying to shake him off, but he’s a sitting duck!

DM: C.E. Augustus, meanwhile, is back on his feet… sees Daymon on the cage… and RIPS HIM DOWN to the mat! Augustus drops a FIST into his face to keep him down!

DT: It was C.P. Nero’s involvement at the last Aggression that cost Shawn Hart the opportunity to move into this second round match…

MN: Yeah, don’t remind me.

DT: …now it looks like Rocko is falling victim to the same tactics.

DM: Eh, it’s not like Daymon didn’t benefit on interference last week…

MN: Come on, Dean… didn’t you hear the man earlier? There’s NO masked man!

DT: Mike, you were sitting right here in between us during that match, and you saw with your OWN TWO EYES what happened at the end of that match.

MN: How do you know what I saw? I was drinking that day…

DM: I saw it.

MN: You’re just part of the conspiracy to hold him down!

DT: Whatever, let’s just get back to the action… C.E. Augustus brings Daymon back to his feet… and locks him into a BEARHUG!! Daymon is squirming to break free, but Augustus is squeezing the life out of him!

DM: Augustus has really been putting his strength to work here… and it’s given him quite an advantage in this match.

DT: Daymon CLAPS the ears of C.E. Augustus to force him to break the hold… but Augustus CHARGES HIM INTO THE TURNBUCKLE!! Still has Daymon held in place… turns around… BIG SPINEBUSTER IN THE CENTER OF THE MAT!!

MN: Ah, come on! Rocko, you’re letting your COUNTRY down!

DM: When did you become such a Daymon fan, Neely? I thought you hated him.

MN: That was before he grew a pair. And I hate Russians… unless they’re making fun of janitors. THEN they’re my heroes!

DT: Augustus has a wearied Rocko Daymon back on his feet again… hooks his arms from behind, and NAILS HIM with a Full-Nelson Slam!!

DM: Daymon isn’t moving after that last move… this is a good opportunity for C.E. Augustus to put this one away.

DT: Looks like you’re right, Dean, as C.E. Augustus is now scaling the cage wall!

MN: Come on, Rocko! On your feet! You can’t let the commies win! Kennedy would be rolling in his GRAVE if you let that happen! You don’t hate Kennedy, do you? Cause if you do, then you’re RACIST!!

DM: Mike, you’re a TREMENDOUS racist.

MN: At least I don’t deny it like the JFK-haters…

DM: Did you remember to take your Zoloft this morning?

DT: Daymon finally gets back to his feet with the help of the ropes… and now he notices C.E. Augustus nearing the top!! Rocko quickly scales up behind him… WOW, look at him move!!

DM: That’s the advantage of weighing less.

DT: Augustus nearly has his leg over the top—NO!! Rocko grabs it in the nick of time and tries to pull him down! Augustus KICKS HIM OFF THE CAGE—BUT DAYMON TAKES HIM DOWN WITH HIM!! OH MY GOD, BOTH MEN COME CRASHING DOWN INTO THE RING!!

DM: Daymon didn’t seem to fare too well from that fall… but can you blame him? C.E. Augustus was moments away from escaping the cage.

DT: And yet… yes, I think Daymon is beginning to move! The referee is already begun the ten count…

One…

Two…

Three…

Four…

And Daymon’s finally pushed himself onto his hands and knees! C.E. Augustus, meanwhile, is on his side!

MN: We need some viewer participation!

[Neely sits up in his seat and turns to the fans behind him.]

MN: Come on, you slack-jawed yokels! Stand up for your RIGHTS!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!!

DT: Sit down, Mike.

[The fans begin chanting in response, only instead saying, “YOU-ARE-GAY!! YOU-ARE-GAY!!”]

MN: What?! Is Beau Michaels around?

DM: Shut up and call the match, Mike.

DT: The referee’s at seven… EIGHT… and ROCKO DAYMON is the first man up!! C.E. Augustus is on a knee, but Rocko catches him with a knee lift to the face sending him back in the corner!! Daymon unleashes with a barrage of boots to the face while Augustus is trapped in the corner!

MN: He’s like a man possessed!! That Capitalist spirit has really got him going now!

DT: Daymon gets Augustus back to his feet… takes him by the arm, and whips him into the ropes! Rocko bounces off the other side, they meet in the middle, and Daymon connects with a SPEAR that sends Augustus to the mat!! Rocko Daymon, WAILING AWAY with a flurry of right hands!!

DM: Looks like Rocko’s found his second wind! Let’s see if he can keep the momentum going…

DT: Daymon is bringing Augustus back up… NO!! C.E. Augustus fights back with a rake to the eyes! Augustus hooks him—lifts him up with a GORILLA PRESS—BUT DAYMON ESCAPES and lands on his feet behind him! Augustus is spun around… there’s a boot to the gut… and Rocko Daymon follows through with a DOUBLE-ARM DDT!!

MN: Lenin’s probably rolling in his grave right now… and I’m sure the tourists are enjoying it!

DT: Daymon looks strong as he’s getting up… and brings Augustus up with him. There’s the whip to the corner, and Daymon goes to the opposite turnbuckle!

DM: Looks like he’s setting up for the Phantom Train! He looks ready to put this one away!

MN: You know, that was my favorite boss battle in that Final Fagasy game…

DT: Augustus is a sitting duck, and Daymon is ready to charge—BUT FALLS FLAT ON HIS FACE!!

MN: What the hell?

DM: C.P. Nero got his HANDS in there again and tripped up Rocko while he wasn’t looking!

DT: Daymon back on his feet and angrily looks down at C.P. Nero from within the cage… and Nero just taunts away!

DM: That distraction is giving Augustus all the time he needs to recuperate… and now he’s coming out of the corner!

DT: Daymon turns around—AND IS MET WITH A BIG SPLASH INTO THE CORNER!! Rocko was just PANCAKED!! C.E. Augustus took advantage of his partner’s involvement, and now he’s in control of the match again!

DM: I guess Rocko now knows how it feels.

MN: Bull****! Somebody go beat the holy hell out of that shrimp Nero!

DT: Augustus has Daymon in his grasp… and sets him up on his shoulder! We could be seeing the Great Leap Forward!

DM: If C.E. Augustus can nail it, he’ll have all the time he needs to escape the cage!

DT: WAIT A MINUTE!! A fan just hopped the guardrail and BLINDSIDED C.P. Nero outside the ring!

MN: You see? These people listen…

DM: IT’S THE MASKED MAN!!

MN: What? Where? I don’t see anything!

DM: Damnit, Neely, open your eyes!

DT: The masked assailant is kicking Nero on the head while he’s lying helpless on the ground! Now he gets him to his feet… OH MY GOD, HUGE WHIP RIGHT INTO THE STEEL STEPS!!

DM: C.E. Augustus finally sees what’s happening from inside the ring… and he just drops Rocko aside! Now he’s going to the door to assist his partner!

DT: NOT SO FAST!! Daymon, with a quick recovery, sees him about to escape, and jumps on him from behind with a BIG hammerblow across the head!! Rocko spins him around…

BRAIN ROCKER!! BRAIN ROCKER IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!!

MN: WOO-HOO!! CAPITALISM PREVAILS!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!!

[The fans near the commentary table again begin to chant “You Are Gay! You Are Gay!” The masked assailant, leaving a beaten C.P. Nero behind, retreats up the rampway and watches from the entry-way.]

DT: Daymon… still looking winded… begins the slow crawl to the cage door! C.E. Augustus is OUT OF IT!!

DM: Daymon has all the time he needs! And with C.P. Nero incapacitated, there’s no stopping him!

DT: The referee has the door open… and Rocko crawls beneath the ropes, and OUT OF THE CAGE!! IT’S OVER!!

TF: The winner of this match… ROOOOOCKOOOOOO DAAAAAYYYYMMOOOOOONNN!!!!

[The crowd begins to boo and throw trash toward the ringside area as “Stones From The Sky” begins to play. The referee holds up Rocko’s arm in victory. Daymon immediately turns his attention to the fans and begins insulting them.]

DM: I don’t even think Rocko was aware of the extra help he got from his mystery buddy.

DT: Wait a minute, that masked person is still at the top of the ramp!

[The camera zooms in on the figure in black, who pulls down the scarf covering the bottom half of the face. For a moment, viewers at home catch a glimpse of…]

DT: ………CAITLYN DAYMON?!

DM: Is that her?

[Just as soon as they say it, the masked figure disappears through the entry way. Daymon, using his time to point out fans and verbally abuse them from the barricade, is none the wiser.]

DT: So Rocko Daymon’s WIFE is behind these anonymous interferences!

MN: I KNEW I remembered that ass from somewhere!

DM: Rocko’s wife Caitlyn was his manager up until a few years ago… is this all some sort of plot the two are working together on, or are her actions of her own free will?

DT: I guess Rocko’s in for a surprise when he finds out who that masked person really is…

MN: What masked person? Damnit, Dave, we’ve been over this… it’s all just a conspiracy!

DT: Mike, are you blind? Did you not JUST SEE the attack here at ringside?

MN: Yeah, that was Rocko’s wife! That ain’t no masked man.

DT: ………………………

DM: …………………………

MN: ………………………what?

DM: Are you THAT ****ing stupid?

DT: We’ll see how these events unfold as Rocko Daymon moves on in the King of the Cage tournament. More action to come after this commercial break.​
 

DBrunkGXW

Consigliere
Joined
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Messages
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Age
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Location
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Unholy Powerz!!11~~1

MN: What a great match that was!

DT: You got that right, for once....... Folks we have one hell of a match up next for you. We've got...

[ Just then the Lights drop out in the entire arena, so dark that you can't even see the hand in front of your face. "Street Spirit" by Radiohead begins to play over the PA.]

MN: Whats going on?!

DT: Wait! I actually know that music.

DM: I don't believe it?!! How is this possible? I didn't even know this guy wrestled anymore...

MN: Dave I'm afraid of the dark... please hold me......

DT: Get off of me you wuss!!

[ The darkness is shattered by an eruption of Flame and Smoke from the 4 cornerposts. Old school fans in the crowd start finally placing the theme song and begin to chant "FATHER! FATHER! FATHER!” Not a person in the arena is using their seat at this point – some because of recognition, others from the theatricality. ]

DT: Can you believe this! What a development folks. The Father of All UnHoly is here at EPW!

DM: Does he have to fill the arena with so much smoke though? [Coughing waving his hands about to clear the smoke.]

[ The Pyrotechnics die off and the smoke begins to clear. Two figures silhouette's can be seen in the ring, one of a "well built" woman and one of a man. The crowd is continuing to chant "Father! Father! Father!". The Father begins to walk around the ring, from turn-buckle to turnbuckle, looking into the crowd smiling, enjoying the chants. He is wearing black pants decorated with flames up each leg and "TPK" written on his backside. He is with his long-time "partner in crime" Miss Jameson. Formerly known as Miss Cheeba in her early career, she took her true name at the fathers advice, reportedly because he loves Jameson Irish Whiskey. She is wearing a full spandex suit, black of course, the suit exploiting every curve on her body. The Father motions to ringside for a mic and is promptly given one. The crowd begins to quiet, his first words in a wrestling ring in almost 4 years, now you can almost hear a pin drop.]

UF: Today is a great day for EPW! Today, is a great day for Mr. Ryan, EPW's brilliant owner. Today, he made the greatest business decision in history. Today!!! He hired ME!

[The arena erupts once again.]

DT: A fan favorite across the world the Father of All UnHoly is not only a wrestler but a bookie, a casino owner, a strip club owner, has an original clothing line, and lives a jet set lifestyle like none other. His exploits have been raved about worldwide. But I haven’t heard from or seen him in years.

MN: I'd just like 5 minutes alone with that lovely Miss Jameson...

DM: 5 minutes? Don't you mean like 30 seconds....... hell you'd be luck to get the head in.

[Mike looks as if he was just wounded and Dave laughs. The camera pans back the the UnHoly One.]

UF: Today! You the fans should thank Mr. Ryan. He's is allowing you to see one of the wonders of the world. One of the Greatest Shows on Earth! You get to see ME, Turn this company upside down. Noone is safe! Now I've been told that I have to do my time. I have to earn my shot. As if "I" need to prove anything to anyone. My career speaks for itself!

[ The Unholy Father fans in the crowd begins to BOOOO and chant "Ryan Sucks! Ryan Sucks!"]

UF: Now, now don't be to quick to judge! I've accepted my fate. I've accepted the fact that I have to "Work" my way up.

[the UnHoly One turns to Miss Jameson and smiles.]

UF: We just feel bad for the "Workers" in those matches. You see when it comes down to it, if it takes 5 matches, 10, whatever....... That belt that EPW is allowing a woman to wear is gonna be around my waist. I'm gonna show all you people who think this is a uni-sex sport just why a women shouldn't be in a ring with a real warrior! Someone who will do anything to achieve his goal. When that day comes that The "Queen of the Ring" finds herself in my reach you all will see how bad male on female violence can get! When I drop the "Nail in the Coffin" on your current EPW Champ the American Council for Violence Against Women is gonna protest all EPW events.

UF: Listen up EPW pencil pushers, get me a match soon or I'll start my own war backstage. Or maybe you want that, face it..... anything I do is good for ratings!

[The crowd erupts again and the Father of All UnHoly throws the mic toward the scorers table and proceeds to take the lovely Miss Jameson by the arm and lead her over the the apron. He spreads the ropes for her to duck under more easily and escorts her down the steps.]

DT: Can you believe this! The UnHoly is here at EPW. Noone is safe with that lunatic running around. The last time I saw him before the vicious beating Ric Sampson laid on him in the old SCW he was almost unbeatable. When he wrestled in HEW against people like Blade and HaVoC he was just learning and even then he was a force to be reckoned with.

MN: I'm just glad he brought the eye candy. What a set of......

DT: Thats enough!

MN: Fag.​
 

DBrunkGXW

Consigliere
Joined
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Messages
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Points
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Age
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Location
Katy, TX
Ice Tre vs. "Triple X" Sean Stevens

DT: It is time now for yet another King of the Cage Round Two contest. We've already established that for ALL of these cage matches... the stakes are very high. To the winner of this tournament goes a shot at the Queen, herself--

MN: Or whomever the EPW World Champion may be!

DT: --at EPW Russian Roulette 2007! But *this* match has gotten PERSONAL! Earlier tonight, we saw these two competitors involved in a scuffle that resulted in ONE of them nearly knocked unconscious!

MN: I heard that Ice Tre SHATTERED Triple X's orbital bone around his eye! Knocked him straight out! That he got put into a coma and is pooping in a BAG now!

DM: Neely, please! What you're talking about is pure speculation based on rumors trickling out of the back and through this arena! Until we know the facts, we really shouldn't put that kind of news out there.

[The lights dim and the bass THUMPS.]

DT: Here we go!

["Bad as Can" by Beetlejuice does what it does as only it can do and the curtain parts. Ice Tre steps out, all smiles. Grill firmly in place, Tre struts down the aisle at a leisurely pace. He has an odd air of untouchable confidence to him whose origin is hard to discern. Sliding in ring, he gets no ring announcement and, instead, reveals a microphone from his back pocket.]

DM: Oh Lord.

[The lights slowly rise, the music slowly fades, and Ice Tre soaks in the cheers from the crowd like he were royalty.]

ICE TRE: The K'ANG, baby!

[The crowd roars, Tre raises a clenched fist above his head -- ever defiant.]

ICE TRE: K'ang of the Streets!! ... K'ang of the CAGE!!!

[He nodded his head as the crowd shared a laugh together.]

ICE TRE: Trippy-Triple! Double-Dipple! Sean Stevenz, where you at NOW, son? You come at me like you gon' step TO me! But you ain't nothin' but a *****!

[Mixed and muted response from the crowd, seemingly unsure of whom to
support.]

ICE TRE: I'll tell you where you at! You sure as hell ain't HERE! My peoplez tell me you left the building. Took your tore up ass to the hospital to get your BRAIN checked out. They tell me that Ice Tre gave Triple X a concussion.

[Tre giggles.]

ICE TRE: That's IT?!? A concussion? That's all it take to drive you off like NOTHIN'? You softer than I thought, Dipple. This ain't the way that The Tre wants to advance in the tournament. I'd MUCH rather move on the same way I did against Adam Benjamin; by completely dismantilfying your every weakness, exposiating each and every flaw, targetting yo' soft spots and utterly DOMINATING you. That's exactly what I planned to do to Triple X here tonight, fans. But, no. Instead? Instead I gotta ACCEPT a forfeit from the same man who thought it would be a good idea to talk about my MOMMA!

[More laughter as Tre puts on his hardest demeanor.]

ICE TRE: I don't care if I dissed your dead and moldified friend, Trip! Ain't NO ONE even MENTIONS my mammie! Especially not a weak-ass PUNK like YOU! So, tell you what ... I *will* accept your forfeit. I *will* move on to the next round of the tournament, and the next, and the last, and I *will* be the next K'ang of THIS CAGE, I *will* be the next EPW World Champion! And YOU, Stevenz? F'you know what's good for you? You gon' ahead and STAY gone.

[The light's dim, and suddenly, the opening chords to Jay Z's "Public Service Announcement" echoed over the PA system to a very strong response.

"ALLOW ME TO RE-INTRODUCE MYSELF … MY NAME IS…"

The beat drops as The Blue-Eyed Badass steps from behind the curtain, noticeably different . His right eye was, in fact, swollen, and he walked to the ring, as if he were a little dizzy. He didn’t acknowledge the crowd, or pose for pictures, like he’d normally do, but once he made it to the ring, and entered the cage, he looked up at his opponent, the confident, charismatic Ice Tre, and moved in for the immediate kill.]

DT: FLYING CLOTHESLINE BY TRIPLE X! I think the blue-eyed badass caught Ice Tre off of guard with that one. Stevens came to the ring, not his normal, charismatic, fun loving self, and I think it gave Tre a false sense of confidence. The minute Stevens entered the ring, he rushed Tre and nailed him with a clothesline that looked like it could’ve taken his head off!

MN: The end starts now…

DM: I’m not entirely sure what Ice Tre was thinking. Sure, if he injures Triple X he wins by forfeit … but, if he DOESN’T? He has an angry Sean Stevens trying to annihilate him in front of the entire world. This was not a smart move … Ice Tre needs to either get the job done the first time, or try to keep Sean as cool as he possibly can for an upset. This guy did neither.

DT: Stevens raises Tre up, he sends him to the ropes … ANOTHER FLYING CLOTHESLINE!

MN: It’s time to say good night to the King of the Streets.

DT: Triple X lifts Ice Tre up again, and tosses him into the steel cage! Ice Tre is screaming in anguish!

DM: I’m not so sure Trip is really as interested in winning this match as he is on HURTING Ice Tre.

MN: Which, again, brings to light the million dollar question. Why in the hell would Ice Tre tick this guy off?

DM: Because he’s an idiot?

MN: Ding, ding, ding, ding… You’ve won the grand prize!

DM: What’s the grand prize?

MN: A Budweiser. I’m going to the concession stand… You want anything, Dave?

DT: No, unlike some, I actually like to WORK when I’m being paid to do so.

MN: Your loss…

[Mike Neely takes off his headset, and begins to walk toward the aisle, taking one longer look at Ice Tre, who is now desperately trying to crawl to his feet. Neely shakes his head and continues walking up the aisle.]

DM [Yelling]: I can’t let him leave like this. [Standing up] HEY NEELY! GET ME SOME NACHOS, TOO!!

DT: This is a disgrace…

DM: What? Should I have put cheese on them?

DT: Back to the action inside of the ring. Ice Tre is now on his feet… he’s looking for Triple X, and rightfully so, Stevens in on the top turnbuckle, waiting for Tre to turn in his direction.

DM: Sean is measuring him…

DT: FLYING DROPKICK! Tre goes down … slllooooowwwwlllly. The crowd is going hysterical for Ice Tre, they actually LOVE this guy! Stevens raises Tre up once more … FACE FIRST INTO THE CAGE AGAIN!

DM: And, you know what happens next, don’t ya? Yep, here comes the blood.

DT: Tre is on his back in the center of the ring, as Stevens is again scaling the ropes… Sean looks down before leaping off of the ropes, and nailing Ice Tre with a vicious flying elbow. Ice Tre is holding his chest, gasping for air.

DM: This one has the potential to get really, really, really ugly.

DT: Really?

DM: Shut it.

DT: Tre is out, and Stevens is signaling for the official to open the cage door. Folks, this one is over with. Stevens slowly walks, no – saunters to the cage door, nothing but daylight in his path. He glances back at Ice Tre once more, who’s still seemingly unconscious. Trip approaches the door… Wait… What’s that?

[Suddenly, the crowd pops like crazy, as Ice Tre, laying flat on his back in the center of the ring, raises one arm in the air, giving Triple X the finger. Pissed, Trip refuses to exit the cage, asking the official to shut the door.]

DM: I’m not so sure this was so smart. Tre was in the clear, but now he’s got Stevens back in the ring, ready to inflict some more damage.

DT: Trip attempts to raise Tre to his feet … LOW BLOW BY ICE TRE!

[The arena rumbles…]

DT: Tre hops to his feet, and immediately bolts to the ropes… he bounces off… SPINNING HEEL KICK SENDS STEVENS TO THE MAT! THIS CROWD LOVES IT!!

DM: If you would have told me that Ice Tre would have gotten in even ONE maneuver I’d have bet you the house. But, see… this is where this idiot messes everything up. Ice Tre is in the center of the ring doing … something. Kinda looks like he’s having a seizure or something. Do we need medical attention?--

[Ice Tre glances down at Trip’s fallen body and begins doing the "Cabbage Patch" dance, sending the crowd into frenzy. Mid-dance, Ice Tre pauses, acknowledging the audiences reaction. He points to his chest, as if to say, "You want more of me?" before doing the worst rendition of the "Crip Walk" … EVER.]

DM: -- What in the HELL is that?

DT: I don’t know, but whatever it is, it’s got Tre’s attention, as he has failed to realize that Triple X has nipped up, and is standing behind him. Sean Stevens turns Tre around, and begins wailing away at his face! Tre’s trying to cover up, but it isn’t helping any!

DM: Here’s a thought. When you’ve got an opponent down, in a compromising positon … CAPITALIZE on it instead of breaking out nineteen eighties dance moves! God this is frustrating!

DT: Triple X sends Ice Tre to the ropes, back body drop!

DM: Tre hit hard, he’s grimacing! Ouch, he did land kind of awkward.

DT: Triple X moves in for the kill… he raises Tre up, and connects with a devastating clothesline from Hell, that has Tre all but out of it. Stevens heads to the cage door…

DM: It’s academic folks…

DT: Trip is almost there, but wait!! Is Ice Tre—

DM: --hulking up!?! This is getting ridiculously out of hand!

DT: Ice Tre is on his knees, it’s too late for him to actually stop Triple X from leaving the cage, but he has gotten his attention, by doing just what he did in this situation earlier, he's giving Sean Stevens the double bird!

DM: Mistake. Trip has reentered the cage, and I'm guessing he's not far off from killig Ice Tre.

DT: Tre is on his feet as Stevens closes in... Haymaker connects by Ice Tre! Left! Right! Another left! Ice Tre is going to town on Triple X and the audience is on their feet!!

DM: I do believe that Ice Tre may have found his formula. Just keep swinging punches and hope to God that one of them lands hard enough to give him enough time to exit the cage and move on in this tournament.

DT: Knee to the gut, Ice Tre bounces off the ropes... TRIPLE X LEAPS IN THE AIR.... FRANKENSTEINER! WOW! THAT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE! TRIPLE X COUNTERED ICE TRE WITH A PRECISE FRANKENSTEINER!

DM: Stevens looks pissed...

DT: Indeed he is. Triple X has a handful of hair, and he tosses Ice Tre face first into the steel cage! What is he going to do with him now--

DM: I'm guessing, Round two.

DT: Trip sends Tre face first into the steel cage once more on the opposite side of the ring! And, that cut that Triple X opened earlier has turned into a nasty gash!! Ice Tre is bleeding severely... blood loss at this rate usually ends with someone passing out!

DM: The end HAS to be near soon, however we get there, we just need to make sure we actually GET there. I'm not sure Ice Tre can take anymore...

[The rumbling of Mike Neely returning placing his headset on interfere's with the calling of the match, if only for a brief moment.]

DT: Well, look who finally decided to return to work.

MN: Don't be mad 'cuz you don't have the benefits that I have. Here ya go, partner...

DM[opens up his Budweiser and takes a sip]: Just what the doctor ordered...

MN: What'd I miss?

DM: A Massacre.

MN: Just what I thought...

DT: Stevens uses a handful of hair to raise Ice Tre up once again, ladies and gentlemen... this is the SIXTH or SEVENTH time Triple X will attempt to slam Ice Tre face first into the steel cage, and if he connects... I'm afraid Ice Tre could have brain damage.

MN: Personally, I think he already does.

DT: Triple X picks up some steam... he approaches the cage... and, yes! Ice Tre is out cold.

DM: Good night, party's over... Put the women and children to bed. HEY! Where in the hell are my nachos?!!?

MN: Oh, crap.

DM: Oh crap?!? What do you mean oh crap?

MN: Oh crap as in, Oh crap I FORGOT your nachos...

DM: If you need something done right, you should always do it yourself.

DT: Stevens has Ice Tre up one more time. Tre can barely stand, he's literally out on his feet. What is he going to do? .... X-FACTOR!! TRIPLE X CONNECTED WITH HIS FINISHER THE X-FACTOR! He planted that superkick right on the button of Ice Tre's chin. I don't think ANYONE would be able to get up from that...

MN: That's all she wrote.

DT: Trip signals for the cage to be opened, and glances back at Tre before stepping through. And, YES! This match is OVER!! Sean "Triple X" Stevens has avenged an earlier sucker punch at the hands of Ice Tre and weeks of trash talk... and, now he's one step closer to a date with the Queen of the Ring!

DM: Ice Tre actually put up way more fight than I imagined... and, showed a LOT of heart. I may be reaching far, but there may just be a future for this kid after all!

DT: Stevens kept knocking him down, Ice Tre kept getting back up, I certainly can respect that. If he keeps this work ethic, a little more training and Ice Tre could be a problem for some of the superstars here.

[Triple X pauses center aisle, and raises his arms in the air, to a very solid reaction from the crowd. He was still a little wobbly as a result of his concussion, but satisfied with the result of the match. He began walking up the aisle, when the VIDEO-tron came on, focused on Ice Tre, in the middle of the ring, busted up, bloodied, but on his knees, moving into the standing position. Tre looked directly into the camera -- and, once more ... stuck his middle finger up, yelling an expletive in the process. That apparently was the straw that broke the camel's back, as Triple X turned back around and walked down the aisle, headed towards the ring.]

MN: Uh-oh! Ice Tre is really asking for it. When will this guy learn?!?

DT: Sean "Triple X" Stevens is once again ringside, and wait, what is he doing-- he pushes the timekeeper off of his chair, and is bringing it with him into the ring!

DM: Folks, I think Stevens has finally had enough!

DT: Tre notices, and is trying to climb out of the cage before Triple X can catch him but it's TOO LATE! CHAIRSHOT!

MN: Ouch!

DT: Stevens nailed Ice Tre in the back, causing him to lose his grip on the cage, and hit the mat! And, now he's wailing away!! Ice Tre has GOT to be in excruciating pain!!

DM: Stevens looks possessed.

DT: Ice Tre is out, as Triple X places the steel chair on his chest... what is he about to do?!!?

MN: He's about to seal the deal, that's what...

DT: FROGSPLASH ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR! ICE TRE IS GRIMACING IN PAIN! HE CAN'T STAY STILL! HE MUST'VE BROKEN A RIB OR SOMETHING!

DM: And, he's not done, either. Stevens is in excruciating pain himself, landing on that steel chair, but he's a man possessed.

DT: Stevens raises Tre up... he hooks him for what looks like an Inverted DDT... NO! He lifts him over his shoulder, OSAKA STREET CUTTER! STEVENS NAILED ICE TRE WITH THE X-TERMINATOR! POOR ICE TRE'S JAW MAY BE BROKEN!

MN: And, it still doesn't look like he's done...

DT: Stevens picks up the chair again... CHAIRSHOT TO THE FACE! Ice Tre is bleeding profusely! Somebody has to stop this... this man is a MANIAC!

MN: I mean, I'm not the biggest Ice Tre fan in the world, but even I've gotta admit... the kid doesn't deserve THIS.

DM: Somebody should really get in there and help this guy out. There's no wrestler's in the back willing to give Ice Tre a hand?

DT: Apparently not. Triple X places the chair on Ice Tre's chest again... before scaling the ropes... HE LEAPS OFF THE ROPES FEET FIRST ONTO THE CHAIR!!! Ice Tre is coughing up BLOOD! And, now... even the crowd is fed up with this... listen to them voice their opinion!

[Triple X stands up in the center of the ring, looking down at Ice Tre, who is bloodied, bruised, and fallen. He takes his hand, and wipes it across Ice Tre's bloody face, and wipes the blood on his chest. Then, smiles sadistically...As he finally begins to notice the resounding chorus of boos that have now been sent in his direction. Triple X stood there, looking into the crowd, almost in shock, before exiting the cage, to water bottles, popcorn and everything else.]

DT: Finally, we've got some EMT's out here to clean up the mess that THIS man has caused. Finally, Ice Tre can go and see a doctor. Triple X, I hope you are happy! You may have ended the career of one of Empire Pro Wrestling's future stars! I hope this makes you proud, you bastard!

MN: Ease up, Dave. We don't want to lure that crazed maniac over here. I think it'll be a VERY long time before we see Ice Tre in an EPW ring again. And, I've just about lost my appetite.

DM: I agree. I'm concerned about Ice Tre's LIFE, forget wrestling!

[Stevens walks up the ramp, to a resounding chorus of boos. At the top of the stage, before exiting the curtain, Trip turns to face the crowd once more, as the boos continue forcing him to exit through the curtain.]​
 

DBrunkGXW

Consigliere
Joined
Sep 11, 1997
Messages
4,814
Points
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Age
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Location
Katy, TX
Beau Michaels vs. Troy Douglas

[CUEUP: ‘Satisfaction' by Benny Benassi and the Biz. The lights go down and strobe lights hit … ‘Extremely BiSexual' Beau Michaels walks out wearing tight short shorts, and no shirt. He has Cyndi Lauper circa 1984 eye makeup on. Michaels stops and points to the back. A giant chicken comes down leading five young men by chains .. the young men are wearing chains around their waist. They’re not wearing much else. On their backside is a little circle sign saying ‘Entry Here’ and on the front, their penises are covered by crew socks, which are held in place by the chains. Michaels waits for the Chicken to walk them down the rampway and doesn't move until they circle him, pick him up, and carry him to the ring.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen… the following contest is a second round match-up of the Empire Pro KING OF THE CAGE TOURNAMENT!! Introducing first… hailing from West Hollywood, California, and weighing in at 230 pounds… HERE IS… “EXTREMELY BISEXUAL”…… BEAU…. MIIIICHAAAAEEELLLLSSS!!!

DM: This guy is too bizarre for words.

MN: Yeah. Just watching him compete makes me want to take a cold shower or something.

DT: Well, regardless of his unusual interests and behavior in the ring, Beau Michaels has at least proven himself to be a formidable opponent. But his opponent tonight is eager to move on in this tournament.

TF: And his opponent…..TROY DOUGLAS!!!!!!!!

[Douglas makes his way to the ring warily, and climbs in very slowly.]

MN: I would absolutely hate to be in this man’s shoes right now…

DM: You think Beau Michaels is that great of a challenge?

MN: Oh no, in fact, I got money on Douglas. I’d just hate to be alone in the ring with that sick freakin’ pederast.

DM: What’s a “pederast”, Mike?

MN: Shut the **** up, Dean.

DT: Both men are in the ring… Douglas, in his corner, stretches against the ropes. Michaels, meanwhile, has his hand down his…

DM: …

MN: …aw, that’s SICK!!

DT: Well, never mind what Michaels is doing… the ref rings the bell, and this match is underway! Douglas quickly bolts of the corner… FLASH DROPKICK TO THE FACE catches Beau Michaels off guard early in this match!

DM: Douglas isn’t joking around here. He’s going straight for an early advantage.

DT: Both men quickly back on their feet… and Douglas with a series of KNIFE-EDGE CHOPS backs Michaels into the corner! Douglas takes him by the arm… there’s the Irish Whip to the opposite corner, and Beau Michaels CONNECTS back first!

DM: Michaels stumbles out… and STRAIGHT into a CLOTHESLINE from Douglas!

DT: And Douglas with a KNEE DROP over the face for added effect!

MN: Do you think Michaels is getting off on this kind of thing?

DM: Don’t ask, don’t tell...

DT: Douglas brings Michaels back to his feet… hooks him around the head… BIG Verticle Suplex sends him flat on his back! Troy back on his feet, and yet again brings Michaels with him… now he hooks him for another suplex—OH WAIT!!

DM: MICHAELS COPS A FEEL!!

MN: EEEEEEWWWW!!! Michaels is GAAAAAYYYY!!!

DT: Troy Douglas just SHOVES Beau Michaels against the ropes, and he looks FURIOUS!!

MN: And Beau Michaels is PLAYING WITH HIS NIPPLES!!

DM: My God, this is atrocious…

DT: Douglas has had enough! He steps forward—BUT MICHEALS DUCKS THE PUNCH ATTEMPT, and Troy Douglas just got a FISTFUL of steel cage!

DM: Might’ve busted his knuckle open, he could need stitches for that—OH WAIT, Michaels grabs him from behind—

MN: CUPS THE JEWELS!!

DT: GERMAN SUPLEX by Beau Michaels, and Douglas is on the mat!

DM: Dunno if you can call it a standard German Suplex, as Michaels didn’t really lift him… you know, by the waist?

MN: It’s a GREEK Suplex!

DM: Quiet, Mike. We’ve had enough of your race-bashing for one day.

MN: You haven’t heard enough!

DT: Douglas comes back to his feet, holding his back in pain… Michaels meets him on his feet, and sets him sitting on the mat with a Fireman’s Carry! He follows through with a SNAPMARE that bounces Douglas’ head off the mat!

DM: I can’t deny Michaels is a good wrestler. I just can’t stand his antics…

MN: Eh… it makes an otherwise boring match a little more interesting, even if I AM stifling an urge to vomit every time I see him.

DT: Douglas getting up again, a little slower this time… and Michaels seizes the opportunity—

MN: Yeah, he seizes a good handful of Troy Douglas’ left ASS cheek, too!

DT: —and NAILS him with a Russian Legsweep!

DM: Michaels has good pacing in this match. He’s lucky he didn’t suffer much from Troy’s explosive start. Douglas could be in trouble if he doesn’t turn things around soon…

MN: He better watch his ASS if he knows what’s good for him!

DT: Douglas, AGAIN, tries to get to his feet… but a kick to the chest from Beau Michaels sets him flat on the mat again! Michaels quickly runs to the ropes… BIG ASAI MOONSAULT—BUT DOUGLAS ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!! Michaels EATS the canvas!!

DM: Great elevation… great form… but he didn’t realize that Douglas still had a little more left in him!

MN: He’s desecrated your PRIDE, Troy! Crush that fairy!

DT: Douglas waits propped up on a knee in the corner as Michaels comes to his feet, clutching his chest in pain… Michaels turns around, and Douglas runs out of the corner! KNEE LIFT to the mid-section doubles Michaels over, and Douglas follows through with a GUTWRENCH SUPLEX!!

DM: Great focus on power and impact moves we’re seeing from Troy Douglas tonight! This is one of those rare opportunities where he can really use his size and strength to his own advantage.

DT: Douglas holds Michaels around the head as he brings him to his feet… REVERSE DDT drills “The Extremely BiSexual” one back into the mat! Douglas back on his feet, and he… ahem, READJUSTS himself.

MN: I guess Michaels screwed up the feng shui in his package.

DT: HUH?!

DM: You have to admire Troy Douglas’ poise and focus in this match. Michaels seems to be having fun out there, but Douglas knows a title shot lies at the end of this tournament, and he wants it more than anything!

DT: Beau Michaels is slowly forcing himself back onto his feet… and Douglas quickly takes him by the head, and drives him FACEFIRST onto his knee! Michaels reels back in pain… and Douglas finds the opportunity to take him by the back of the head, and DRIVE HIM INTO THE STEEL CAGE!!

DM: Douglas follows up by hooking the arms from behind… TIGER DRIVER!!

DT: WOW, WHAT A MOVE!! Douglas leans against the ropes momentarily to catch his breath… and with Michaels on the mat dazed, he finds the opportunity to work his way up the side of the cage!

DM: But is Michaels down and out for the count? …NO! He’s getting back to his feet!

DT: But Douglas is already halfway up the cage! Michaels sees the match in jeopardy, and now he gets to his feet and runs up the side of the cage after Douglas! He grabs him by the BACK OF THE TIGHTS!!

MN: NO!! I DON’T WANT TO SEE TROY DOUGLAS’ ASS-CRACK!!

DT: And Beau Michaels YANKS Troy Douglas down from the cage! Follows up by DRIVING Troy Douglas’ forehead into the cage wall!

DM: Michaels’ hooks him from behind… REVERSE NECKBREAKER!!

DT: Michaels, in an INCREDIBLY display of constitution, has not only saved this match from ending prematurely, but also turned it around in his favor!

MN: Oh, I’m sure Michaels would brag that he can go on ALL NIGHT LONG if he has to…

DT: Michaels, now… attempting to maintain control… takes Douglas by the head and brings him to his feet once again. Hooks him around the head… HOISTS HIM UP FOR A STAAAAALL-LLIIIIIINNG SUPLEX—OH MY GOD, DROPS HIM INTO THE STEEL CAGE WALL!! Douglas is a TUMBLED MESS in the ring ropes!!

DM: Douglas has his right arm wrapped in between the top and middle ropes… and his head is at the PERFECT ELEVATION for Beau Michaels!

MN: Uh-oh… I can’t watch! I WON’T watch!!

DT: Oh my God, Michaels with a PELVIC THRUST into Douglas’ face! A SECOND!! A THIRD!! Michaels is driving Douglas’ head back into that steel cage with his… his…

DM: The chicken he chokes on the side.

DT: Right, Dean… FINALLY, Douglas comes loose and falls to the mat, holding the back of his head.

DM: But Beau Michaels keeps the pressure going, bringing Troy Douglas back onto his feet… there’s the Irish Whip to the corner—FOLLOWED UP WITH A CLOTHESLINE—BUT DOUGLAS DUCKS, and Michaels EATS the turnbuckle!

DT: Troy Douglas spins him around, and leaps to the second rope! He’s wailing away with a barrage of punches!

Crowd: ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

FIVE!

SIX!

SEVEN!

EIGHT—OOOOOHHH!!

DT: OH MY GOD, BLATANT low blow from Beau Michaels!

MN: That wasn’t a low blow…

DT: Michaels with an EYE POKE sends Douglas off the second rope and reeling on the mat… Michaels waits for him to turn around… and SPRINGS out of the corner with a BULLDOG!!

DM: Both men are lying on the mat… that last move took everything Michaels had left, but hey, it did the trick.

DT: And now MICHAELS is slowly crawling toward the ring door! Douglas sees him moving, and he’s crawling after him!

DM: Beau Michaels isn’t going to make it!

DT: TROY DOUGLAS has him by the ankle as Michaels comes within a FOOT of the cage door! Now Douglas is dragging him back to the center of the ring… and HE’S TRYING TO LOCK ON THE SCORPION DEATHLOCK!!

DM: NO!! Beau Michaels slips out of his grasp!!

MN: It’s because Beau greases himself up before every match.

DT: Douglas goes for the leg again—but Michaels counters with an ENZIGURI TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD—AND DOUGLAS DUCKS!!

DM: He was thinking ahead of Michaels on that one.

DT: Douglas gets him back to his feet… hooks him around the shoulders, and NAILS him with a FACBUSTER SUPLEX!!

DM: Douglas is ready to finish this, and Beau Michaels is approaching the END OF THE ROAD!!

DT: Indeed he is, as Troy Douglas leads him to the corner! Douglas sets himself up the second rope—but Beau Michales KNOCKS him down from the turnbuckle! And now Michaels repositions himself, and climbs up the corner of the cage! He’s looking to escape!

MN: Catch that greasy fudgepacker!

DT: Douglas quickly back on his feet, follows Michaeals up the cage, and he’s quick to catch up! Both men are neck and neck as they come to the top of the cage! And now DOUGLAS puts an elbow into the shoulder of Beau Michaels to slow him down! ANOTHER elbow! Folks, at this height, if either man should take a fall they could become SERIOUSLY hurt!

DM: Douglas has a few inches over Michaels.

MN: …ew, Dean, did you hear what you just said?

DM: I, uh… don’t take me out of context, Neely!

DT: Douglas slips a leg over the top of the cage… and Michaels follows a moment later! Now both men are on top of the cage, and Douglas meets Michaels with a blow to the face! And Michaels shoots back with a fist of his own!

DM: Both men are pulling themselves over the cage wall. Now it’s a matter of being the first person to have both feet touching the floor outside the ring. But first, both men have to climb down to a safer falling distance.

DT: Douglas coming down the side of the cage, slightly ahead of Michaels… but Beau Michaels boots him in the shoulder to slow him down, and now it’s neck and neck once again!

DM: It looks like Troy’s grip is slipping… HE MIGHT DROP—

DT: OH MY GOD!!

MN: SWEET POTATO JESUS!!

DM: I don’t believe it, Beau Michaels prevents Troy Douglas from falling by grabbing him by the CROTCH, and Douglas can only hang onto the cage for dear life lest Michaels CASTRATE him here in front of a live audience!

MN: That WEIRDO!!

DT: Michaels looks to be slipping… AND HE DOES!! MICHAELS LANDS TO THE RING FLOOR!!

[SFX: Bell rings.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen… THE WINNER of this match, as a result of escaping the cage… “EXTREMELY BISEXUAL”… BEEEEAAAAAUUUUU MIIIIICHAAAAAEEEELLLLSSS!!!!

[Michaels receives a loud mixed reaction, with half of the fans cheering him while the other half booing, clearly favoring Douglas. Michaels is helped to his feet by Chicken while Douglas is tended to on the floor, clutching his area.]

MN: Troy Douglas may never be the same man again…

DM: At least he hung in there every step of the way. But tonight, the crotch-groping creep cops a feel and sneaks away with a win. Remind you of your step-dad, Mike?

MN: You know what, Dean? Go **** yourself.

DT: This circus continues as Beau Michaels moves on in the King of the Cage Tournament. More action to come!​
 

DBrunkGXW

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JA vs. Steven Shane

DT: We're back here on Aggression and coming up is one of the most highly anticipated matches of the night, as JA takes on Steven Shane in the second round of King of the Cage.

DM: Yeah, JA's been fighting for his reputation here in EPW for a while now and he's making some noise in this tournament thus far. Steven Shane on the other hand, simply is in a situation he can't be happy with - working under a guy who he was passed over in favor of getting that Chairman position.

DT: And might I add that our World Champion, the lovely Lindsay Troy is joining us here at ringside for this contest.

LT: Thanks, Dave.

TONY FATORA: Th’ following contest is a second round match in the KING OF THE CAGE tournament! Introducing first,

[CUE UP: “Damn” by Fabolous, as the Sensational One steps out onto the ramp to a chorus of boos, a smirk like he’s the cat that got the cream crossing his lips]

TONY FATORA: From Hollywood, California, he weighs in at two hundred and fifty three pounds… SENSATIONAL… STEVEN… SHANE!!

DT: Steven Shane’s been incredibly busy, picking up a win last time against IrishRed - can he sustain that tonight?

[CUE UP: “Eat the Rich” by Fozzy. JA steps out from behind the curtain to a roaring reception, high-fiving fans on the way to the ring]

TONY FATORA: And his opponent, weighing in at two hundred and nineteen pounds, hailing from Philadelphia Pennsylvania… The Anglo Luchador… J… A!

DT: Well this is going to be an interesting contest, who do you think’s got the advantage, Lindsay?

LT: It’s hard to say, I wouldn’t like to guess that either has the definitive advantage.

DM: They’ve both got something over the other, but I’d have to give the nod to JA just based on his speed - he’ll be able to clamber up the cage quicker.

MN: No way, Shane’s got it. He’s the Sensational One, no way an ass like JA is going to beat him.

DT: And here we go! JA literally FLYING in there with a leg lariat, Shane back to his feet, but the Luchador with quick right hands rocking him back! Irish whip across the ring, hip toss reversed by Shane, but JA kips him to the mat!

DM: Fast action for the start of a cage match, but Steven Shane taking JA down with a shoulder tackle – Lindsay, have you got any preference about who you end up facing?

LT: Not really, whoever it is I’m going to have time to prepare for.

DT: JA with a drop toe hold! Sorry to cut you off there Lindsay, but I’m a little surprised by how the action’s still fast paced, with Shane now switching out of the headlock attempt by JA and grounding him with a hammerlock!

MN: WE WANT BLOOD! BLOOD!

DT: JA quickly back to his feet though, trying to shake Shane off, running forward AND SHANE INTO THE CAGE! Steven Shane’s head just BOUNCING off the cage, and JA takes him down with a stiff drop-kick to the face!

DM: JA’s probably got a very slight advantage in the cage being the quicker competitor – if he can start climbing he’ll be harder to catch, so Shane is going to have to try and slow him down.

LT: Which he won’t do with a mouthful of mesh.

DT: The former A1E champ with a hard right hand, rocking Shane back, and he takes him down with a hard side-slam there.

MN: Come on… I thought this was a cage match, let’s see some blood!

DM: Some of the best cage matches don’t have blood in them, Mike.

MN: Then they aren’t the best, are they?

DT: JA looking in total control here in the early going, as he sends Shane into the corner with a hard Irish whip. Shane dropping to his knees – he’s begging off!

LT: Likes always. Can’t take a beating.

DT: JA turning to the crowd, a shrug of the shoulders, and he starts laying into Shane with hard stomps to the gut! The referee trying to force the break, but JA picks Shane up by the hair, another Irish whip, follows up NO! Shane ducks under and PROPELS the Anglo Luchador face first into the steel supports in the corner of the cage! He may be busted open!

DM: But with the mask on, we won’t know for a couple of minutes until it’s saturated.

MN: Ewww…

DM: What? You wanted blood.

DT: Steven Shane now with the advantage as JA is stunned, knee to the back, and just SNAPPING him headfirst back to the canvas! What kind of strategy do you think Shane should be using, Lindsay?

LT: If he was smart enough, he’d go after JA’s legs – like Dean said, JA’s quicker than he is, so take away his speed. Though sometimes you feel you should be trying to knock him out to stop the puns.

DT: Steven Shane though going for the face, dropping the knee straight across the forehead! Picking JA up, drops him with a backbreaker. That looked stiff.

DM: But JA’s very flexible, so it won’t do quite as much damage as it would against someone like Beast or Nero.

DT: And he’s still on the attack, starting to work over the legs maybe with those stomps to the right hamstring. JA trying to hold his leg, but Shane just yanks the leg and stomps the hamstring again!

LT: You’ve got to be careful trying to protect there, you might get your fingers snapped if you get them stomped.

MN: Wise words, oh Queen.

DM: Stop sucking up, Neels.

LT: I’ve heard the tapes of past shows, it’s not going to work.

MN: Eeep.

DT: Steven Shane with a somersault there holding the leg! That’s definitely one way to stretch an opponent quickly, and he just DRILLS him with a follow-up elbow drop to the sternum!

DM: Not being able to stand and not being able to breath – two very good moves.

LT: Who knew Shane had the brain-power.

DT: Steven Shane is a tough competitor, he was VERY unlucky against Karl Brown at the pay per view, but he’s in dominance here, whipping the masked man in HARD to the corner, and look at him grating the mask across the steel mesh!

LT: He wasn’t unlucky – he had control for most of that match and he blew it. He’s got to put JA away and use the dominance he has or he’ll repeat that and blow it again.

DT: Whatever happened, I DO know that he just smashed JA’s head against the top turnbuckle after rubbing his face from one corner to the other. An interesting take on raking the eye across the top rope, and a hard back suplex taking him back!

DM: JA’s lucky there are no pinfalls in a cage match.

DT: Yes, but Shane is starting to climb the cage – does he really think he’s done enough to stop JA?

LT: Does Shane really think?

DT: I don’t know, but he is on the top rope, trying to spring himself up, but JA grabbing the leg. Shane with an attempted kick, but JA letting go, stepping back… DROPKICK! JA just showed how athletic he is by taking a couple of steps forward and dropkicking Steven Shane in the small of the back as the Sensational one tried to regain his balance!

DM: That’ll work.

DT: Steven Shane dropping down to the mat, and the Anglo Luchador quickly onto the top turnbuckle, waiting on Shane… missile dropkick to take him down!

MN: NO!

DT: And JA suddenly back in control, asking the outside ref to open the door, moving quickly towards it, but Shane charging in MISSES! Steven Shane chest-first into the turnbuckle, and JA firing away with right hands!

LT: That boy has a short temper.

MN: When he loses I hope he throws a tantrum again!

DT: IF he loses, Mike. Pulling Shane out of the corner again as the door closes, hooks him… fisherman suplex! JA quickly releasing the hold though, and turning back to the door… no, he’s choosing against it, picking Shane up! Irish whip across the ropes, Shane with the reversal, but JA with a smooth headscissors takedown! JA is really feeling it out there, and the crowd are right there with him.

LT: That’s why his last title match, he lost. He plays the crowd too much.

MN: When WAS his last title match here?

DM: Against Karl Brown and Joey Melton for the Intercontinental Championship.

MN: Mister Kicked-to-the-curb?

LT: …

DM: Mike, I think you might want to start running.

MN: Erm…

DT: Nowhere for Shane to run though as JA takes him down with a stiff short-arm clothesline! The Anglo Luchador now trying to climb the cage, but Shane is up quickly, showing great resilience out there and just clubbing away at the hamstring of JA! JA with a quick kick though sending Shane to the mat, JA vaulting up… he’s almost at the top!

MN: MOVE SHANE! DON’T LET DAN DOWN!

DT: Shane up quickly though, grabbing hold of the leg of JA, and now starting to climb with him! This could turn dangerous if they both get to the top.

DM: Doesn’t look like Shane is going to let that happen, as JA starts to step his leg back over and Shane just drills a right hand into his midsection.

DT: Shane stepping up as JA steps down, both men perched on the top rope – Shane ramming JA headfirst into the steel! JA looking groggy, Shane rears him back… BLOCKED! Shane again trying to ram JA into the steel, blocked again, and JA fires back with a thumb to the eye!

LT: Simple but effective.

DT: Shane holding his eye, JA climbing… SOMERSAULT POWERBOMB! JA taking Steven Shane down by twisting his body in mid-air to catch him in a powerbomb!

MN: CRAP!

DM: You don’t have a large vocabulary tonight, do you, Neels?

DT: That was a very spectacular piece of athleticism, as JA is STILL in control out there! Here he goes again, picking Shane up – knee to the gut, and an Irish whip across the ring. Shane ducks under the clothesline, stops himself by holding the rope!

DM: And JA charging in.

MN: Yes… NO!

DT: Shane just vaulted JA up and almost into the cage, but Shane doesn’t see JA just perched up there! He’s tapping his forehead and he doesn’t realise it!

MN: LOOK OUT!

DT: Shane turning round, JA springing up higher onto the cage, MOONSAULNO!!

Crowd: HOLY-[[FCC]]! HOLY-[[FCC]]! HOLY-[[FCC]]!

DT: Steven Shane just CAUGHT the Anglo Luchador IN MID AIR and dropped him on his head with a sit-out piledriver!

DM: That’s one counter to a moonsault!

DT: JA might have a broken neck!

LT: It took good timing, I’ll give Shane that much, but he’s careless to have to do that.

MN: Let’s see that again!

[SPLITSCREEN: On the left of the shot, Steven Shane is on his hands and knees, trying to catch his breath near the fallen JA, who looks like he’s out cold. On the right, we see Shane duck down, pushing JA up and over him before stepping to the middle of the ring, tapping his forehead – unfortunately for him, JA managed to stop himself crashing into the cage, and peers back over his shoulder, feet on the top rope, fingers above his head holding onto the cage. As Shane turns around, we see JA spring up so his feet are also on the cage, and he flies back in one fluid movement with a moonsault, starting some four or five feet above the rope – but as he comes down, Shane takes a step back, grabbing him round the waist and dropping straight down]

MN: Sweet! Did you see how his head bounced?

DM: You’re sick, you know that?

MN: Hey, just because I appreciate good moves like that!

DT: It took quite a bit out of Shane though, he’s very slow getting back to his feet, the pace of this match has been frantic!

LT: But he’s not moving towards the door, he’s moving towards JA.

DM: And I doubt he’s looking to see if he’s OK.

DT: Indeed, Shane picking up JA, backing him into the corner, Irish whip across the ring and he follows it up with a hard charging shoulder to the midsection!

DM: And that took any wind that was left in JA right out of him, I don’t think I’ve seen Shane run that fast in a long time.

DT: Shane setting JA up on the top rope, follows him up… BIG double arm suplex from the top! He’s toying with him now.

MN: He’s got it done and dusted, thank you very much. Money now, Dave.

DM: We saw last time out that you’ve got to just win these matches, Benjamin found that out.

MN: And he got an Intercontinental Championship match out of it, didn’t he?

DT: Regardless, Ice Tre’s victim aside

LT: [chuckle]

DT: Steven Shane with JA up, and just THROWING him into the steel mesh!

DM: JA’s probably feeling grateful we don’t use those old-style solid blue metal cages. At least here you’ve got some give.

LT: Not much though, and Shane’s not going to stop. He’s simple-minded like that.

MN: Like Joey you mean?

DM: I’ll try and hold her back, Mike.

DT: Shane starting to climb the cage as JA is trying to claw his way up using the ropes – this has been a BRUTAL match from both men, and JA is really slowed down since that sitout piledriver. Shane seeing JA getting to his feet though, drops down, measuring JA… BIG forearm to the head! Hooking JA, going for a suplex NO! JA with a dropkick after dropping down behind, sending Shane into the cage face first! Steven Shane looking a bit unsteady on his feet right now, swings a right at JA, but JA ducks and sends him across the ring. JA drops down under Shane, Shane on the rebound, JA up… POWERBOMNO! JA reversing the almost reversal to hit a hurricanrana! How on earth he had the strength to pull that one out I’ll never know, but both men are down!

DM: And the referee can’t use his count, all he could do would be to stop the match if things got too dangerous in there. Pretty easy job for the ref inside the steel cage here in Empire Pro.

DT: JA trying to drag himself to the ropes as Shane now trying to pull himself to his feet, these two have been going at if for a long time now, I can’t think they’ve got much left in them.

DM: There’s your answer, as Shane charges in, and JA just ELEVATED him up with a backbody into the cage! If he’s not careful he might put Shane through the cage like Benjamin did to Ice Tre.

DT: And JA’s not wasting any time, moving across the ring and launching himself up onto the cage – he’s trying to climb out!

MN: NO! Stop him!

DM: For all those wondering, Mike and Dave have bets on this match.

LT: I expected that of Mike, but that’s really unprofessional of you, Thomas.

DT: It was to shut him up. JA struggling to pull himself up, he can barely get a grip, and Shane now stepping through the ropes and running over to JA!

MN: YES!

DT: Steven Shane with a clubbing blow to the back, but JA with a kick to the face! Steven Shane trying to hold the leg, and JA managing… YES! JA kicking Shane down to the mat, and the Anglo Luchador’s almost at the top of the cage!

MN: NO… YES!!

DT: Steven Shane shutting him down by grabbing the leg of JA as he sits perched at the top of the cage! Shane trying to climb up, JA gets both legs over the cage – and Shane scrambles to grab him!

LT: All the masked lunatic has to do is drop down and it’s over.

DT: But Shane not letting him! Holding onto JA’s top with one hand, there’s a hard right hand to slow him down! Shane trying to position himself near the top, hooking JA by the head… trying to suplex him! Listen to the crowd!

DM: Shane’s trying to dump him back into the ring, he knows if he can keep his balance he can vault over whilst JA falls!

DT: Shane trying again to drag JA over the rope in a suplex like move, but JA clinging desperately to the top of the cage… Shane again OH MY GOD! JA JUST DUMPS SHANE WITH A FRONT SUPLEX DROP! STEVEN SHANE FACE FIRST INTO THE CANVAS!

MN: NO!!

DT: JA taking a step down… YES! JA wins it!

[SFX: dingdingdingding]

TONY FATORA: Th’ winner of the match… JJJJJJAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY… AAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!​
 

DBrunkGXW

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Beastwood Mac?

DT: Big win for JA and he’s moving on to the next round.

LT: Well fellas, it’s been…fun. Dave….Dean…. [eyes narrow] ..Neely.

[Troy takes her headset off and heads up the ramp]

DM: Well, I don't know how impressed Lindsay was with that match. But nonetheless, it gave her an opportunity to scout some potential opposition.

[Suddenly thesound of a lone acoustic guitar comes over the speakers. Lindsay stops dead in her tracks, and puts her hands on her hips.]

DM: The Queen is not amused.

MN: What is that god-awfull racket?

[As the guitar playing continues, vocals - male vocals, HORRIBLE male vocals are heard.]

"Loving yooooooooou

Isnt the right thing to do

How can I ever change things

That I feeeeeeeeel??

MN: Fleetwood Mac?!?

DM: Butch'rd!

"If I could

Maybe I’d give you my world

How can I

When you won’t take it from meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee??"

[Beast steps out onto the stage, guitar in hand, singing away, and the crowd POPS and laughs! Lindsay's jaw drops and her hands fall to her sides in disbelief.]

Beast: "You can go your own waaaaaaaaaaaay!!

Go your own waaaaaaaaay!!

You can call iiiiiiiiiiit

Another lonely day-ay!

You can go your own waaaaaay!!

Go your....

[Lindsay steps forward and tears the guitar out of Beast's hands, and SMASHES it to bits on the stage! Now it's Beast's turn to look shocked!]

Beast: ...own way?

[Lindsay comes forward, snarling...]

DT: OH MY! Lindsay just slapped the taste out of Beast's mouth!

[THAT gets Beast's attention, and he drifts Lindsay with a right hand of his own! Beast grabs Lindsay by the hair and drags her to the back of the stage, where he attempts to drive her face into some scaffolding supporting the EmpireTron, but Lindsay blocks it and drives Beast's face into the scaffolding instead! Beast stumbles away, his hand over his forehead.]

DT: The Champ and former Champ are going at it right here on the stage! These two just HATE each other!

MN: Get 'im, Lindz!

[Lindsay comes at Beast, but Beast backdrops her on the stage! Beast checks his forehead, where there's a small cut, and Lindsay gets back to her feet. The two start exchanging right hands, and a flood of security and officials come out to the stage area to pull them apart!]

DM: Well, that was... spirited!

DT: Things are always so volatile between these two! While Security breaks these two up, we're going to go to commercial for "Siegel's S'Mores and More!" The treat with a surprise flavor in every bite!​
 

DBrunkGXW

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Cameron gets an F on his Project - Crimson makes a Calling

DT: Well ladies and gentlemen, we’re back and we’ve got tag team championship challengers Blitz in the ring, but no Cameron Cruise project.

DM: Yeah ya know, Joey Melton was silent all week so you have to wonder what’s going on here.

DT: The referee is talking things over with Leonard Johnson, so I’m not sure if we’re gonna have…..WAIT….is that…Cameron Cruise coming down the aisle alone?

[Cameron Cruise walks down to the ring, holds up a hand and takes a mic.]

CC: Look guys – Joey isn’t here. I just got some random note in my locker about ‘staying away from that fruit’ or something…..we gotta postpone this…..

[Leonard rolls his eyes and get exasperated in the ring, when suddenly the EmpireTron flickers to life and Beast appears on the screen, in security uniform. All in the ring turn their attention to the screen.]

Beast: Cameron Cruise, did I hear confirmation that Joey Melton is indeed not able to compete tonight?

[Cruise nods, alternately upset and frustrated]

Beast: Well then, as a fair but firm Head of Security and with the authority given to me by your owner Irishred I must unfortunately inform you that you hereby forfeit this match and the World Tag Team Championships….to BLITZ!!

[Loud pop/boo mixed reaction and Leonard Johnson and Blitz look absolutely shocked]

DT: What the hell??

DM: Can he actually DO that???

MN: What the hell does Big loafy think he’s doing?!?!

Beast: That’s my final decision boys. Good day.

[The screen goes to black as Cruise stands with his jaw dropped simply in shock. Meanwhile, in the ring the referee retrieves Cruise’s tag team belt and hands it over to Blitz.]

DT: I can’t believe what just happened!! We’ve got new World Tag Team Champions…without a match!!!

DM: Wow. Talk about surprising.

DT: Wait!! What now????

[Just then, two men leaps over the barricades and slide into the ring. The fans immediately recognize them as ERIK BLACK and IVAN DALKICHEV, better known to EPW fans as Crimson Calling.]

DM: IT’S CRIMSON CALLING!!! DEAR GOD, I THOUGHT THEY WERE DEAD!!

DT: Apparently not and they’re wailing away on Max and Jecht!!! There goes Leonard Johnson over the top rope to the floor!!! Max held up by Dalkichev in a chokeslam position!! Erik Black to the ropes and he leaps up and drives him down into the chokeslam!!!!!

DM: Now it’s Jecht’s turn!!

DT: Black to the top rope now! Dalkichev drives Jecht into the opposite corner….Jecht comes stumbling out into a back body drop from Dalkichev and OH MY GOD!!! ERIK BLACK JUMPED OFF AT THE SAME TIME INTO A MODIFIED SIT OUT POWERBOMB IN MIDAIR!!

DM: Daaaaaaamn. That’s a new one, even for me.

DT: I can’t believe this!! Crimson Calling standing tall over the new World Tag Team Champions!! More to come folks!! We’ll be right back!!!​
 

DBrunkGXW

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Double S is pissed - Shawn Hart vs. Foxx for the TV Title

[Cut backstage as Kenny Lombardo approached Steven Shane's dressing room. Suddenly the door bursts open and a visibly angry Steven Shane brushes past the interviewer without a word and heads directly for the door to the exit.]

KL: Um, Mr. Shane! Could I get a quick word with....er....I guess not.

[Lombardo just watches as Shane burst through the door to the outside.]

DT: Well Steven Shane is clearly not happy. What about I don't know, but I suppose we'll find out soon. Last week, Shawn Hart got knocked out of the King of the Cage tourney, but the man they call “The Phenom”, well, at least he’s got something to fall back on. He’s still EPW’s TV Champion, and tonight, he puts his title on the line.

MN: It’s in the bag, Davey. No way a woman wins a championship here in EPW.

DM: What?

MN: You heard me.

DM: Our World Champion is a woman, moron!

MN: I said what I said.

DT: Folks, we’ve got some news for you before we get to the start of this match. Rookie Silvio Fiore, who was scheduled to be a part of this match and challenge Shawn Hart and Foxx for the TV Title, has been removed from this contest at his request, to deal with personal issues. We wish Silvio the best and await the exciting newcomer’s return to Empire Pro. Now, to Tony in the ring to get our title match underway!

[CUT TO: Tony Fatora in the ring]

TF: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL, and is for the Empire Pro Wrestling Television Championship! Introducing first, the challenger…

[CUE UP: "Angelwitch" by Angelwitch. The crowd responds with a loud pop as Foxx makes her way to the ring, looking extremely focused. She slingshots over the top rope, salutes the crowd and waits in a corner.]

TF: She stands five feet, nine inches tall and weighs in at 134 pounds. From San Antonio, Texas…FOOOOOOOOOXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!

[“Angelwitch” fades out, as “Watching the Wheels” by the John Lennon kicks in and the EPW Television Champion, Shawn Hart comes out onto the entranceway in a hooded black robe, waving at the crowd like a monarch as he walks down the aisle. He slides into the ring, pops the hood off his head, and holds the TV Title high in the air.]

TF: And her opponent, standing five feet, eleven inches tall and weighing in tonight at 226 pounds. He hails from Orlando, Florida and enters the ring tonight as the REIGNING and DEFENDING Empire Pro Television Champion … “THE PHENOM”… SHAAAAWWWWWWWNNNN HAAAAAAARRRRTTTT!!!!!!

[SFX: Bell rings]

DT: The up-and-comer and the established veteran circle, and here comes Foxx! She exploded towards Shawn Hart and sent him rocking back with a big high kick to the side of the head! Hart comes back to his upright position, and Foxx strikes quickly once again, now with a NASTY low kick that whips against Hart right knee! And another! Foxx ducks the big punch from Hart, and looks to go high with another kick…blocked! And the Phenom just throws his challenger straight to the mat!

DM: Interesting situation for the Phenom here, Dave. Foxx is used to giving up size to her opponents, she does every time out, but Shawn Hart probably hasn’t ever wrestled a match with a weight advantage of almost one hundred pounds. Will he change his style to take advantage of that mismatch?

MN: Oh, he’ll take advantage of her alright!

DM: Mike, you have no idea how wrong that sounds.

DT: Foxx is up, and Hart wants to go straight at it with a tie-up, but Foxx ducks away … and hits the Phenom with a high crescent kick out of NOWHERE as Hart spun around! Hart is up, and he’s met with a flying forearm from Foxx! Off the ropes comes the challenger … SPINNING HEEL KICK!!!! Foxx is using these quick, precise strikes to take the TV champ off his game, and Shawn Hart wisely ducks out of the ring!

MN: Blasphemous harlot! How dare she do such things to Shawn Jessica Bubbles Horatio Hornblower Quigley Hart, PhD!

DM: First, I think you added like seven initials to Shawn’s name there, Mikey. Second, when did you learn words like “blasphemous” and “harlot”?

MN: Just today. Got those “improve your vocabulary while you sleep” tapes in 1994, and I just used ‘em last night.

DT: Hart slides towards the ring … Foxx catches him straight away with a baseball slide dropkick sending Hart flying back to the outside and straight into the guardrail!

DM: Foxx has speed on her side, but Hart’s no tortoise. I’m shocked he’s been caught this much off his guard early on.

DT: Hart recovering on the outside … FOXX GIVES HIM NO TIME!!!! Suicide plancha to the floor connected perfectly! Foxx rolls the champ back in, quick cover…

Hart’s out quickly! Just a quick one count, but Foxx has established the early pace here, and it is breakneck!

MN: That seems like a bad pace.

DM: Why?

MN: Ummmm … why would you want to go so fast you’ll break your neck? Stupid woman.

DM: Just shut up, Neely, before you shove your boot further into your mouth.

MN: I’m not wearing boots!

DT: Foxx is continuing this strike quick, get out fast strategy, she is unloading on Shawn Hart with a flurry of martial arts kicks! Hart shoves Foxx away, Foxx off the ropes … Hart misses the back elbow, and Foxx hits a sidekick that sends Shawn Hart right into the corner!

DM: Shawn Hart is such a smart, experienced wrestler, but he is being run ragged by a relative newcomer who is displaying a flurry of energy tonight!

DT: Hart in the corner … here comes Foxx … WHAT A RUNNING KNEE STRAIGHT TO THE SIDE OF THE HEAD! Shawn Hart may have just been knocked goofy here in the early going!

MN: How could you tell? SJH is pretty goofy to begin with.

DT: Foxx hooks the champ’s head … bulldog attempt … Hart shoves Foxx off and sends her chest-first into the far turnbuckle!

MN: OUCH! She caught that straight on her—

DM: —no sexist comments, Mikey, or I’ll have Billy in the truck activate the shock collar.

DT: Foxx bounces out of the corner, straight into a BIG back suplex from the Phenom! Hart rolls over, hooks the leg…

ONE…

AND A HALF!!! Foxx out of that pin quickly, but Shawn Hart isn’t even letting her up! BIG leap … drops the knee onto the abdomen! Off the ropes goes the Phenom, and he drops the elbow!

MN: FINALLY, the universe is correcting it’s course.

DT: Hart pulls Foxx up, irish whip … and an inverted atomic drop! Hart follows quickly … WICKED SNAP SUPLEX!!! Now the Phenom’s rolling, and we’re seeing some trademark Shawn Hart here, taking a curtain call before the match is anywhere near over!

DM: He’s taken control of this match, but this is just an obvious lack of respect towards his challenger.

MN: Can the PC crap, Deano. The Phenomulator is superior to ALL! This puny woman will never take him down!

DM: Phenomulator?

MN: It’s on his 384 page list of approved nicknames. His publicist sent it last week. Want to see some of the others?

DM: Sure, why not





DUDE! Some of those are just WRONG! Can you even do that with a pineapple?

MN: Apparently.

DT: Shawn Hart has finally stopped showboating, and he drops a leg straight across the back of Foxx’s neck. Measures her up, wants to drop the knee … NO WAY! Foxx rolls out of harm’s way! Foxx up, DROPKICK sends Hart face first into the corner! He bounces out, Foxx locks in an inverted facelock … drops to her knee with a backbreaker! Holds on to it … INVERTED DDT! The challenger has come firing right back!

MN: Oh, crap! ALL HAIL OUR NEW FEMALE OVERLORDS!

DT: The pin…

ONE…

TWO…

NO!!! So close to a new TV champion right there! Foxx keeping up the attack, hits another sliding kick to Shawn Hart’s back as the champion was sitting up, and now she’s got a surfboard hold locked in, with the point of her knee putting pressure onto Hart’s lower back.

DM: Foxx is showing wisdom beyond her years here, she’s displaying a lot of focus in attacking the champ’s back here.

DT: Hart is being ground down by this, but he’s able to get his foot out … and he drapes it across the bottom rope! Foxx has to break the hold, but she’s done the damage already! Hart is up, but not for long! Foxx continues her focused attack and kicks Shawn Hart’s knees right out from under him, and she’s headed up top! Mike, are you … bowing?

MN: Damn straight, Burgerman. The female of the species are taking over EPW. WE MUST SUBMIT TO THEM!

DM: So that’s what this is all about. Someone’s got some unresolved mommy issues.

MN: What? No way!

DT: Foxx wants to fly … OH DEAR LORD!!! FOXX JUST LANDED A 450 ELBOW RIGHT ACROSS THE SMALL OF SHAWN HART’S BACK!!! Rolls him over and slides on for the pin…

ONE…

TWO…

TWO AND A HALF!!!! How did the Phenom escape that one?

MN: With his powers of phenomenal phenomulation.

DM: You really need to stop reading the crib sheets that Hart’s agent sent you.

DT: Foxx pulls the champ up, whips him into the ropes … hurricanrana … NO!!! Hart sat down and violently powerbombed Foxx to the mat! He pins …

ONE…

TWO…

HE PULLS HER UP? What the hell is Shawn Hart doing?

DM: I think he wants to prove a point, but he had this match finished!

DT: He holds on to Foxx, brings her up for another powerbomb … COUNTERED! Foxx shifted her weight and THIS TIME she pulled off that hurricanrana! What a counter by Foxx! Off the ropes she comes … ASAI MOONSAULT … Hart blocked it! He brought his knees to his chest and nailed Foxx in the stomach!

DM: Umm, Mikey?

MN: Yeah?

DM: Isn’t that the kind of thing you normally call a big ouchie?

MN: Yeah?

DM: So…

MN: Not this time, Matthews. I’m sick of you calling me a moron.

DT: Hart pulls himself to his feet, pulls up Foxx … IMPLANT DDT!!!! Dropped her straight on her head!

MN: Now THAT’S a big ouchie.

DM: I’d call you a moron, but this time, you might just be right.

MN: Haha, I win again!

DT: Hart hooks the leg, the cover…

ONE…

TWO…

THRRRRNOOOO!!!! Foxx got her shoulder up at the very last moment and Shawn Hart is irate at referee David Rosenkrantz for counting too slow!

MN: I call shenanigans! Foxx slept with the ref and bribed him to count slow!

DM: Rosenkrantz is happily married!

MN: Yeah, but Foxx is … RRRRROOOWWWW!

DM: It’s that kind of talk that keeps the lawsuits coming, Mikey.

DT: Hart still chastising the official … FOXX WITH THE ROLLUP FROM BEHIND!

ONE…

TWO…

NOOOOO!!!! Shawn Hart’s complaining was SO CLOSE to costing him the TV title right there! Hart pulls himself up, runs straight into a short-arm clothesline from Foxx! Up again, and she nails him with another! To his feet once more … dodges the clothesline, but gets caught with a superkick as he turns around! Foxx is absolutely on fire!

MN: See, Dean, Davey agrees with me. Foxx is HAWT!

DT: Oy.

DM: Thomas, you know a good lawyer for our friend Mikey?

DT: Foxx pulls Shawn Hart up, standing headscissors … STUMP PULLER PILEDRIVER!!!! The champ’s head just ricocheted off the canvas! She covers…

ONE…

TWO…

THREEEE!!! Wait!!! Shawn Hart got his foot on the ropes! Oh, I thought we had a new TV champion right there!

DM: Almost did, and if this keeps up, we certainly will.

DT: Foxx slingshots the apron … Hart is up … SPRINGBOARD SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!!! Foxx hit him straight on! Pulls him up, she wants her Cerberus suplex combo!

DM: She gets this, that ends it!

MN: Hate to break it to ya, Deano, but that ain’t happenin’.

DT: Shawn Hart is firing elbows to the side of Foxx’s head, and he breaks the waistlock! Hooks the head … HART ATTACK … BLOCKED!!! Hart comes off the ropes … EL CODO EXPLOSIVO!!!! WAIT!!! Foxx ducked, and Shawn Hart nailed David Rosenkrantz with that devastating bionic elbow! The referee is DOWN and OUT!

MN: Well, that’s one way to avoid losing.

DT: Foxx charges for a clothesline … swing and a miss! Hart flips her over for a Tombstone Piledriver … REVERSED BY FOXX … REVERSED BY THE PHENOM!!!! And he drops her down on her head violently with that tombstone.

MN: Anyone else dizzy?

DM: No, just you, Mikey. But then, you get dizzy after going through a revolving door once.

MN: Do not! Well, just those 17 times at the hotel last night.

DT: With the referee out, Shawn Hart is taking over right now. Picks Foxx up, lets her hang in the air for a long, LONG time … and comes crashing down with a devastating vertical suplex!

DM: There may not be a referee, Thomas, but Shawn Hart is winning this match and keeping his title with this offensive series.

DT: Hart is just pounding on Foxx, dropping elbows and knees on her upper back, and punishing his challenger! Pulls her up, reverse waistlock … RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX … WHAT A DISPLAY OF AGILITY FROM FOXX!!!!

MN: Sweet mother of god!

DT: Foxx backflipped in midair and landed on her feet! Hart spins around, catches a kick to the midsection … off the ropes comes Foxx … TORNADO DDT!!! Foxx has injected herself right back into this match!

DM: These two have been going back and forth all night, Dave, and neither won has been able to sustain an advantage.

DT: This might help, Dean, as Foxx is going for the Vixen’s Tail! Locks in the sharpshooter, bridges back, hooks the head and pulls!!!! Vixen’s Tail locked in right in the center of the ring, and Shawn Hart is in AGONY!

DM: I’ve been in holds like this before, and you do not want to be in it for long.

MN: Doesn’t matter, no ref.

DT: Hart is being wrenched around, wrapped up like a pretzel in this hold, and just look at the determination on Foxx’s face as she contorts herself to tighten the Vixen’s Tail! She pulls back again … THAT’S IT!!!! SHAWN HART IS TAPPING OUT!!! THE PHENOM HAS TAPPED OUT!!!

MN: Doesn’t matter…

DT: SHAWN HART HAS TAPPED OUT TO THE VIXEN’S TAIL, AND FOXX SHOULD BE TV CHAMPION! BUT, DAMNIT, THERE IS NO REFEREE!!!!!!

DM: I’m pretty sure she wants to remedy that right now.

DT: Foxx trying to revive David Rosenkrantz, she’s got him up … HART SNEAKS UP FROM BEHIND!!!! INSIDE CRADLE…

ONE…

TWO….

THRRRRRRRRR…NOOOOO!!!! I though that had done it, but Foxx was able to kick out of that cradle at the absolute last moment before the referee’s hand slapped the mat for the third time!

DM: There’s that veteran savvy from Hart, and you can throw some abject desperation in there as well.

DT: Foxx is up, wants a high kick … blocked by Hart! She spins around, straight into a released belly to belly suplex! Hart pulls Foxx to the middle of the ring … FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK … Foxx counters it into a cradle of her own! Hart’s shoulders on the mat…

ONE…

TWO…

KICKOUT AT TWO AND NINE TENTHS!!!! And both competitors are slow to get up, with the Phenom getting to his feet first. Foxx gets up, turns around … SHAWN HART TRIED THE SUPERKICK AND MISSED!!! Hart spins around … HART ATTACK!!! Foxx hit Hart with her version of his patented Diamond Cutter! And Foxx is going up top!

MN: Psycho flippy time! Everyone get the flashbulbs ready!

DT: She sets herself … takes flight … VIXEN’S DIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVEEEEEE—NOBODY HOME!!!! Hart got out of the way at the last moment!

DM: Pure instinct on the part of the champ.

DT: Both competitors down, and David Rosenkrantz is into his ten count…

FANS: THREE!!!!

FOUR!!!!

FIVE!!!!

SIX!!!!

SEVEN!!!!

EIGHT!!!!

DT: Shawn Hart rolls over, drapes and arm over Foxx…

ONE…

TWO…

THREEEEEE!!! NO!!!!!!! Holy hell, Foxx won’t give in after crashing and burning on the Vixen’s Dive!

MN: That’s impressive, because I’m pretty sure she was dead twelve seconds ago.

DT: Hart is up and groggy, pulls Foxx to her feet … HART ATTACK … Foxx shoves Hart away again!!! On the rebound … EL CODO EXPLOSIVO—MISSED!!! Foxx now off the ropes … ASAI MOONSAULT—NOOOOO!!! Hart dropped down and Foxx landed on her feet! Foxx spins the champ around, snaps off a kick to the midsection! Whip off the ropes, Foxx to the other side … OH MY!!!! Foxx swung through the ropes and connected with a back leg lariat! From the apron … SPRINGBOARD HURRICANRANA!!! Foxx holds on for the pin … HART SHIFTS HIS WEIGHT AND ROLLS THROUGH!!!!

ONE…

TWO…

THREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Despite a superhuman effort from Foxx, including getting Shawn Hart to tap out to the Vixen’s Tail out of sight of the referee, the Phenom is still TV champion! But, with Foxx getting this close, how long can it be until this gutsy young woman breaks through?​
 

DBrunkGXW

Consigliere
Joined
Sep 11, 1997
Messages
4,814
Points
36
Age
46
Location
Katy, TX
Barney Fife tries to use his bullet

[The EmpireTron lights up, giving us a view near the athlete's entrance to the arena, where a long black limo with an "EPW" license plate pulls up near the entrance. The driver gets out of the car, and opens the back door. Out of the car steps none other than Dan Ryan!]

DT: It's the owner of EPW!

MN: Fresh from the butthole of Japan, where Irishred forced him to wrestle some match against a double amputee! What dedication to the sport, and to his company!

DM: You can stop sucking up now, Neely.

[Ryan stretches, then heads for the arena entrance.

CUT TO: Inside the arena, on the other side of the athlete's door. The door opens, and Dan Ryan steps over the threshold. He doesn't get two steps, when...]

Voice: Excuse me, sir.

[Ryan stops dead in his tracks, and looks to where the voice is coming from. His eyes widen as he notices Beast, in his Security officer's uniform.]

Ryan: And what the hell do YOU want, Marcus?

Beast: Sir, regulations stipulate that no one enters the arena through this entrance without being subjected to a search.

MN: What?

Ryan: You've GOT to be kidding me.

Beast [a ****-eating grin on his face]: Up against the wall, please, sir.

Ryan: Surely you're not serious.

Beast: I don't know anyone named Shirley, and if she says I do, she's lying. Now, shall I get the rubber glove, or are you going to do this the easy way, sir?

Ryan: You ARE serious.

Beast [still smiling]: Come on, Dan, surely you were watching the show in your high-priced limo. And if you didn't, I'm guessing your two little midget friends Anarky and Shane called you two seconds after they got backstage to fill you in on everything. I'm the Head of Security, and I personally don't care if you're the freaking Queen of England - I'll search whomever I damned well please. Now.... UP AGAINST THE WALL.

[Ryan just glares at Beast for a moment and smirks, before turning and placing his hands on the wall.]

Beast: Spread your legs, assh*le.

[Beat.]

Beast: Wow, I bet you never hear that from anyone other than Steven Shane.

[Beast proceeds to pat Ryan down, and stops as he pats down his front pocket.]

Beast: Dan, is that an implement in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

[Beast reaches into Ryan's pocket...]

Beast: Nope, definitely not happy to see me...

[... and pulls out a fairly small jacknife. Beast pops it open, and the blade might be lucky if it was two inches long. Beast holds it up and turns Ryan around.]

Beast: Well... what do we have here?

Ryan: Oh, for the love of...

Beast: I'd call that a concealed weapon.

Ryan: Don't go there, Marcus.

Beast: I'm afraid you're going to have to come with me, sir.

Ryan: Think about what you're doing.

Beast: Oh, I've thought about it already. GET YOUR ASS TO JAIL! [TM Cartman.]

Ryan: Marcus, you're going to have to MAKE me.

[Beast snaps his fingers, and out of nowhere, an armada of fairly large security officers file in behind Beast.]

Beast: Want to test me, Dan?

[Ryan just sighs.

CUT TO: A small "holding cell" in the bowels of the arena, most likely the shipping area. Beast has Ryan shoe-horned into the small room, and Beast closes the door and locks it.]

Ryan: Beast, I'm not going to forget this.

Beast: Enjoy your stay, sir.

[Beast turns to walk away, but suddenly he's ambushed as Anarky flies into the scene, nailing Beast with a flying forearm to the face! Beast drops, and Anarky pulls him to his feet, before...

CRUNCH!]

Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

MN: ANARKY JUST HIT BEAST WITH THE CHAOS BREAKER THROUGH A STACK OF WOODEN PALLETTES!

[Anarky gets back to his feet, and rips the key chain off of Beast's pants, and moves to unlock Ryan's cell. Ryan exits, and simply spits on Beast as he and Anarky walk away...]​
 

DBrunkGXW

Consigliere
Joined
Sep 11, 1997
Messages
4,814
Points
36
Age
46
Location
Katy, TX
Main Event: Karl Brown vs. Adam Benjamin for the IC Title

DT: Folks, what a night it has been here tonight on Aggression.

DM: Absolutely right, but things are going to pick up even more, because we’re going to see some EPW Intercontinental Title action right now in the main event!!!

[CUE UP: “Final Countdown”]

DT: And here comes the man who will be getting the shot at that title. If anyone can pull this one out, it is certainly Mr. Benjamin.

DM: He’s got an excellent background, especially here in EPW. Most recently, he turned in an excellent reign as the very first television champion.

[Benjamin makes his way to the ring and enters. He makes his way to the corner and simply waits for the champion to make his way to the ring.]

[CUE UP: “Rainmaker” by Iron Maiden.]

DT: But in order for Benjamin to make his way into the record books of the Intercontinental Title, he’s going to have to defeat this man, Karl Brown.

DM: Certainly one of the best I-C champs we’ve ever seen here in EPW and it’s going to be very difficult for anyone to remove that title from around his waist.

[Brown makes his way down and enters the ring. He removes the I-C Title from around his waist and hands it to the referee, who shows it to the crowd. He then hands the belt to the timekeeper and calls for the bell.]

[DING DING DING]

DT: Well, here we go. Wasting no time. The two men step to the middle of the ring. There’s a collar and elbow tie-up. Benjamin gets the advantage and presses Brown into the ropes. The ref asks for the break…

DM: But Benjamin quickly catches Brown with a knife-edge chop to the chest!

DT: Brown curls up in pain as he grabs at his chest. Benjamin catches him with a right hand and now grabs Brown by the arm. He gives him a whip across the ring. Brown rebounds…

DM: Stiff clothesline there by Benjamin! Brown hits the mat hard!

DT: And Benjamin refuses to waste time here. He pulls Brown back up to his feet. Another knife-edge chop. And another! Benjamin pulls Brown to the middle of the ring…

DM: DDT! Benjamin with the quick cover…

1…

2…

Kickout!

DT: Benjamin shows the frustration on his face, but he still refuses to slow down. Benjamin gets to his feet and quickly bounces off the ropes…

DM: Leg drop by Benjamin!

DT: And now he pulls Brown up to his feet! Benjamin reaches down low and now pulls Brown onto his shoulders…

DM: But Brown slips out!

DT: Benjamin was looking for that Death Valley Driver, but Brown slipped out behind him! Benjamin turns around…

DM: And a standing dropkick by Brown!

DT: Benjamin bounces into the ropes. He rebounds to Brown…

DM: T-Bone suplex!

DT: Brown with a sudden flurry of offense here after he reversed that DVD by Benjamin!

DM: But now, he’s taking time to catch his breath.

DT: Well, Benjamin went after him fiercely at the beginning of this match, and I’m not sure if Brown was ready for it.

DM: It certainly didn’t appear that way, but now Brown is the one with the upperhand as he closes in on Benjamin.

DT: Brown helps Benjamin back to his feet. He stands him up…

DM: WOW! What a knife-edge chop!

DT: And another! Benjamin swings a right… But Brown ducks it! He quickly steps beside Benjamin…

DM: Russian Leg Sweep! Brown goes for the cover…

1…

2…

Kickout!

DT: These guys are going at it with a lot of high octane moves here, but they are just not getting over that hump.

DM: I’m not sure what it’s going to take, both of these guys are real warriors.

DT: Brown pulls Benjamin back up to his feet one more time. He nails him with a nice right hand. Benjamin stumbles back as Brown nails him again. Brown now grabs him by the arm and whips Benjamin HARD into the corner!

DM: Brown follows in now with a clothesline!

DT: Brown is really taking it to Benjamin here as he is looking to do something big here now.

DM: What’s he going to do?

DT: Brown reaches down… He’s going to put Benjamin on the top rope! He sets Benjamin to face the crowd here…

DM: Top rope German suplex!

DT: NO! Benjamin held on! He blocked the move! Brown tugs again…

DM: But there’s a back elbow by Benjamin!

DT: And another! Brown falls to the middle of the ring…

DM: Oh my! Benjamin just came down with both feet right into the sternum of Karl Brown!

DT: Benjamin is not a small guy! He might have just broken Brown’s ribs!

DM: Brown is curled up on the mat here!

DT: Brown is trying to make his way up here. He’s moving ever so slowly.

DM: And this is giving Benjamin time to set him up! This doesn’t look good!

DT: Brown is to a knee here, but he’s barely moving. Benjamin now charges…

DM: Shining Wizard! Adam Benjamin damn near took off Karl Brown’s head with that kick!

DT: And he makes the pin!

1…

2…

3!!!

[DING DING DING]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… and NEW EPW Intercontinental Champion… ADAM BENJAMIN!

DT: I don’t believe it! Adam Benjamin just won the I-C Title! I didn’t think anyone could defeat Brown with the roll that he had been on!

DM: Well, Adam Benjamin just did it. Excellent win for him here and look how happy he is!

DT: Well, he should be. This is a big win for him. Let’s take another look at it here!

[The EPW-tron lights up and shows Benjamin hitting the Shining Wizard and making the pin. The crowd then suddenly begins to gasp. The replay plays again, this time clearly revealing that Karl Brown’s foot was under the ropes.]

DM: Oh my! Could this be a tainted win for Adam Benjamin?

DT: Well, the referee was looking at the EPW-tron with everyone else. I think he saw what happened!

DM: Well, he’s turning to Benjamin here.

DT: What’s he saying?

DM: I’m not sure. Adam Benjamin doesn’t look too happy.

DT: Oh my! The referee just took the Intercontinental Title from Benjamin! He’s walking to Tony Fatora…

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, after review, the referee has declared that Karl Brown’s foot was under the ropes at the time of the pin, therefore, this match is to continue!

DT: Oh my! Look at Adam Benjamin!

DM: He is not happy at all!

DT: And he’s cornering the referee!

DM: Are you kidding? He can’t blame the ref for this!

DT: Well, he is! And the distance between Adam Benjamin and that corner is getting less and less by the step!

DM: The referee is cowering in the corner here! He has nowhere to go!

DT: And Benjamin is right on top of him!

DM: Someone stop this!

DT: Look out!

DM: It’s Karl Brown!

DT: There’s a kick to the back of Adam Benjamin! He pulls him into that inverted front facelock…

DM: Dragon’s Bite! Karl Brown just nailed Adam Benjamin with the Dragon’s Bite!

DT: There’s a pin…

1…

2…

3!!!

[DING DING DING]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen… here is your winner, and STILL EPW Intercontinental Champion… KARL BROWN!

DM: Wow! What a turn of events!

DT: I can’t believe it! Adam Benjamin thought he had the I-C Title won here tonight, but video evidence showed different and now, Karl Brown will walk out of here with the title yet again tonight!

DM: Absolutely amazing! Only in EPW!

DT: Folks, we're out of time!! For Mike Neely and Dean Matthews I'm Dave Thomas....see you next week!!!!

[Fade to Copyright info.]​
 
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