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AGGRESSION 29: Yankton, South Dakota - 3/7/07

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DBrunkGXW

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Prologue

[Outside the arena, the cameras find Ice Tre arriving. Dressed in a stark white sable fur coat, a gold-tinted pair of bulky sunglasses and baggy jeans, it was just another day ... for the man named Tre. Kenny Lombardo calmly stepped into the shot just as the newly-signed wrestler was about to open the door, bag slung over his shoulder. Tre snapped his glasses off, somewhat awkwardly, and gestured for Lombardo to approach.]

KL: Ice Tre, welcome to Yankton, South Dakota. And welcome ... to EPW.

ICE TRE: That's riiiiight!

KL: It was just a few weeks ago at Wrestleverse II when you arrived on the scene and made ... quite a SPECTACLE! Not only did you announce your entrance into the KING OF THE CAGE tournament but you also saw fit to target OTHER participants!

ICE TRE: That's just how I do, 'bardo.

KL: You walked down the aisle and stepped in between Frankie Scott and the "Dark Phenom" moments before their leather strap match ... and you also charged down the aisle to confront "Triple X" Sean Stevens!

ICE TRE: You KNOW this.

KL: But that's not all! You *also* interfered in the contest between "The Ego Buster" Dan Ryan and Interim Owner IrishRed! Do you think that, considering how it all turned out, that you accomplished whatever it was you set out for?

[Tre nods, lips curled a bit. An air of confidence surrounds him.]

ICE TRE: You AXE those fools you just mentioned what went down at 'Verse Two. AXE them what they remember. Who's NAME rings out. You AXE the fans who's the COLDEST ... who's the BADDEST ... who's the K'ANG. Only one name you'll hear, 'bardo.

Kenny waits for Tre to say it ... as Tre waits for Kenny to say it. And they both wait, akwardly. Until ...

ICE TRE: My name, yo. You hear MY name. Ice Tre, K'ang of the Streets. Next K'ang of the Cage.

KL: Which brings us to tonight. Your opponent in the first round of the 2007 King of the Cage tournament is none other than "Yours Truly" Adam Benjamin.

ICE TRE: You're not Adam Benjamin!

KL: What? ... no, Tre. That's his nickname. "Yours Truly".

Tre nods his head.

ICE TRE: Oh, ok. I get it.

[Does he, though?]

ICE TRE: I said all I gotsta say to Adam Benjamin. He knows where I stand. And that's ABOVE him, yo. The rest of EPW best take note, son. Ice Tre AIN'T no JOKE! I'm IN this to WIN this. Now if you'll excuse me, Adam Benjamin ain't the ONLY bid'niss I gosta tend to tonight. There's ANOTHER punk in this building who's got my name comin' out his mouth TOO much, talkin' STATIC. He got somethin' comin' to him and b'lieve me ... Ice Tre gon' deliver.

KL: Good Luck in your match tonight, Tre!

ICE TRE: Thanks Adam.

Tre nods, donning his shades once again and opening the door. He disappears inside and Kenny turns to the camera with a sigh.

KL: ...probably going to need it. Back to you guys.

[Fade in to another scene backstage as Mojo Massey stands with EPW Owner Dan Ryan, who stands looking not in such a good mood.]

Mojo!!: Ladies and gentlemen I’m here with Dan Ryan, who recently lost a street fight at Wrestleverse II for control of the company. Tonight sir, you’re scheduled to sign over the papers to make things official.

Ryan: [with a sigh] Mojo, I may not be happy about this but I’m a man of my word. The stipulations said Red would get the company for six months, and there’s nothing I can do to change that now.

[Ryan places a manila folder under his right arm and walks off camera.]

Mojo!!: This is a historic night indeed, ladies and gentlemen. The owner is on his way to the ring!​
 

DBrunkGXW

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Intro, Balance of Power

[CUE UP: "Imperial March" - Rage Against the Machine. A video montage plays, featuring smoke-wreathed images of various wrestlers, some of them leaving blurred trails as they move.
CUT TO: Beast nailing the Absolution on Adam Benjamin.
CUT TO: Karl Brown coming off the ropes with a Quebrada.
CUT TO: Steven Shane standing victorious in the ring.
CUT TO: JA delivering the Karelin Driver to Ron Artest
CUT TO: Adam Benjamin delivering a Shining Wizard to Karl Brown.
CUT TO: Joey Melton, mugging for the crowd.
CUT TO: An unhappy IrishRed stomping Wong-Pei.
CUT TO: Lindsay Troy dropkicking Beast.
CUT TO: Chip Friendly and Cameron Cruise locking up in the middle of the ring.
CUT TO: Troy Windham, mugging with the Entourage.
CUT TO: Dan Ryan sitting sedately in a chair, staring into the camera.
CUT TO: With a clash of metal, a logo slams across the screen, its edges flickering.]


[Cut to the ramp, where a wreath of pyro explodes around a scaled down EmpireTron and several bomblike, smoky explosions ripple about the entry way. The camera zooms in on the screen as the pyro finally peters out, then blurs to roving shots of the roaring crowd as a small banner in the corner briefly appears to proclaim that EPW is broadcast en Espanol.]

[We cut to the broadcast booth where Dave Thomas, Mike Neely and Dean Matthews sit.]

DT: Welcome to Aggression 29!!! We are live from the Summit Activities Center in Yankton, South Dakota – the home of assumedly our new owner for the next six months, IRISHRED!

MN: This place is going to hell in a handbasket, Thomas. I think I saw two bikers having sex in the concession area…

DM: Someone watched Happy Gilmore last night.

MN: Huh?

DT: Regardless….. [“Zero” by Smashing Pumpkins starts up and a deafening roar from the crowd erupts as Thomas tries to speak over the fans. A loud chant begins around the Yankton crowd: ‘Red owns Ryan (clap clap clap clap clap)’ repeatedly] …as Mojo said, Dan Ryan is on his way to the ring!!

[Ryan ignores the crowd and slides in under the ring, taking special care not to disturb the papers in the envelope he’s carrying. His trademark smirk however is absent, as Ryan has a very serious, almost dejected look on his face. A table is already set up in the ring, conference room style and Ryan sits at one end, placing the paperwork on the table in front of him with a sigh.]

DM: Boy, I’ve never seen the boss like this!

DT: Maybe because he’s not gonna be the boss for much longer!

[“Bad Company” by Bad Company starts to play over the loudspeakers. On the screen the name Irishred in blood red is shown across six four leaf clovers. As Music starts red and green pinpoint spots crisscross the arena and track Irishred as he walks out onto the main stage. The crowd simply erupts for its hometown hero, and Irishred smiles broadly as he looks into the crowd, then closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath as if doing so for the first time, and with a grin opens them and stares with a Cheshire Cat expression straight at Dan Ryan, who upon seeing this sighs again and closes his eyes, leaning his head back in his chair mid-ring. A green cloverleaf spotlights on the center of the ring, right over the table as Irishred enters, stands with his head back and closed fists touching each other in front of his chest. When he spreads his arms wide the cloverleaf turns to red and he stands there, grinning at the opposite end of the table from Dan Ryan.]

[Loud chanting: “IRISH-RED! IRISH-RED! IRISH-RED!”]

[A microphone for each man is at opposite ends of the table as well. Ryan picks up his, lying next to the folder.]

Ryan: Fine. [Chanting continues] FINE. Go ahead! Rub it in! [Cheering gets louder while a camera shot shows Irishred smiling and nodding his head.] I’m not gonna drag this out, Red. You won, alright? Let’s get this over with.

[Irishred pulls out a long executive pen, and strides over to where Ryan sits and holds it out. Ryan stares daggers in the hometown hero, but eventually reaches out and quickly snatches it from his hand.]

[Irishred waves his arms at the crowd, egging them on. “IRISH-RED!! IRISH-RED!! IRISH-RED!!]

[Ryan twists the pen slightly, exposing the point and opens the folder, finding the spot on the paperwork where his signature is required. He puts the pen down toward the paper, bringing it to within a millimeter of the document….

…and stops.]

Ryan: [Dropping the pen and rising to his feet suddenly.] You know….

[Loud boos as Irishred’s eyes narrow.]

Ryan: …I almost forgot about something I felt I needed to inform you about before we do the transfer of power, Red. I would be remiss in my responsibility if I didn’t share with you some of the things you need to know to effectively lead – if I didn’t set up the proper framework to ensure your success as it were.

[Irishred looks on impatiently as the crowd boos.]

Ryan: See, the pressures of running a wrestling company all by yourself can drive a man crazy. I mean, the sleepless nights, the worry about buyrates and ticket sales, keeping the talent happy – it’s enough to drive a man crazy. And you know, I have about five minutes left as owner….and I really feel like with the way the stress has been getting to me lately I need some help in my ownership duties…

DT V/O: But he’s not even gonna be owner!!

DM V/O: Shh Thomas!!

Ryan: And like I said before, I would be …well just plain irresponsible if I were to pass this stress onto you during your stint as owner.

[Irishred looks on confused, not happy with this turn of events, but not yet sure where it’s going.]

Ryan: So, what I’ve decide to do is to create some positions on the company payroll. Some staff, as it were. See, I need help as owner. It’s hard! Damn hard! So I’ve decided to create a Chairman position.

DT V/O: A chairman?? What is he talking about??

MN V/O: Oh I hope this is going where I think it’s going…

[Irishred is seen, getting angrier and angrier.]

Ryan: [For the first time, the smirk is seen – as Ryan’s eyes narrow with a sinister grin.] And this chairman, Red? I’m giving him equal powers to book, hire, pay and otherwise run my company should I need such help.

[Loud boos as Irishred flips out, screaming in Ryan’s direction that he can’t do that, that’s it’s in violation of their agreement, etc.]

Ryan: Whoa whoa whoa!! Settle down! You’re not owner yet!! You’re not owner yet, Red!! You don’t tell me what to do! Not yet, buddy!! Yeah! That’s right! In five minutes, Red!! When I sign on the dotted line, you may be owner but guess what?? You’ve got a new partner.

DT V/O: What an unbelievable turn of events!!!

MN V/O: Dan Ryan is brilliant!!!

Ryan: AND NOW…. [Ryan waves dramatically to the crowd.] …I’d like to introduce to you the new Chairman of….

[“Damn” by Fabulous starts up – and Steven Shane struts down the ramp with a big smile on his face.]

DT: Steven Shane!! The new chairman is Steven Shane!!

DM: Oh man, Irishred is not gonna like this one bit!!!

[Shane strides confidently to the ring, while a shot of Ryan sees him looking at Shane oddly. Shane goes right up to Ryan and gives him a big hug, saying ‘I won’t let you down’ but Ryan stops him short. Shane looks at him, confused.]

Ryan: Uh…Steven, what’re you doing here?

SShane: Whattyou mean, what am I doing here? I’m the new Chairman…..[beat]…I am the new Chairman…right?

Ryan: Well actually…..no.

[Shane’s eyes go wide with shock. The crowd gives a loud mixed reaction as Irishred just looks on, continuing to fume.]

Ryan: BUT! You reminded me. I'm also creating a secondary position. Vice President of Operations - who will work under my new chairman. That man, Steven...is you.

SShane: Wait just a second. You mean to tell me that after all this time, running interference for you and staying loyal to the company, you’re passing me up for this?? Are you ****in’ kidding me?

Ryan: Now Shane – you’ve been loyal, it’s true. But I never promised…

[Irishred’s eyebrows raise, still upset but a little curious about this exchange.]

SShane: [getting in Ryan’s face, to the approval of the crowd] “YOU NEVER PROMISED? AND WHO EXACTLY IS MORE FIT FOR THIS JOB THAN ME?!?”

Ryan: [Stepping back and pointing around behind Shane to the ramp.] “He is…”

[“Sober” by Tool.]

DT: Wait a second…that music. Somebody…wait… no way….

MN: What??

DM: Oh I can’t BELIEVE this!!

MN: What?!?! Who is it??

[The music plays and the crowd stands to his feet buzzing, as everyone in the ring is focused on the entrance-way.

Then, a figure emerges from the curtain – wearing a Municipal Waste t-shirt, and in street clothes otherwise. A gasp of shock suddenly fills the arena and jaws drop as thousands of people look at a man they never expected.

ANARKY.

MN: WAIT!! Anarky?? Wait, what???

DT: Holy ****….

DM: Sponsors!!

DT: To hell with sponsors!!

[The crowd buzzes like Elvis just rose from the dead and walked into the arena – not sure what to do. Steven Shane just stares, fazed beyond believe and Irishred does likewise, not knowing what to think. Anarky comes down the ramp in full skull face paint and slides into the ring, calmy as can be and takes the mic from a smiling Dan Ryan, who backs off and gives him the floor.

Anarky continues a stare at Ryan, then turns and looks Irishred dead on.]

ANARKY: "Y'know, 'Red... life's funny.

"There I am, watching my home rot into a cesspool of cancelled gigs and false promises...

"And the days wore on and on. And the need grew greater. And so it went.

"But as fate would have it, my phone would ring, and who would be on the other end of that line? None other than my good friend, Dan Ryan.

"Now, normally, I'd have hung up the phone and gone back to burning down orphanages... but he asked me such a strange question. He wanted to know if I could help remove a problem that had a arisen. A disturbance, if you will.

"As you can imagine, I laughed in his face. Who the f*ck is Irishred and why the F*CK do I care?"

[Boos.]

ANARKY: "Then Dan says... the company's yours. Consider him a gift. EPW is the tool through which you may... show him how we operate.

"Well then, 'Red... then a great big smile came across my face.

"Oh yes. Chairman Anarky. I like the sound of that.

"It is unfortunate for you, 'Red, that this is how we should meet. I don't really know you... I certainly don't care about what you've done, so don't bother telling me. I see you've annoyed Dan Ryan where he's going to pay me quite handsomely merely to make you my little plaything. My dolly.

"My precious.

"Oh yes, Red. You don't know me... because you and I have never been together before now. You're a virgin, to me, you see. And in my eyes, that makes you special.

"The gleam still fills your eyes with hope, and you think this game can be won...

"Savor this moment, Red.

"Oh, and one more thing.

"Dan Ryan has had many... glowing... things to say about your performance thus far. Do not disappoint me. I repeat.

"Do... not... disappoint me. For if you do... if you prove to be weak, like the rest... if you prove to be nothing more than another walking carcass, flapping his gums about what he's done or how he's the exception...

"... then I will make you pay. Again. And again. And again. And you will BEG ME... for mercy.

"But I am not a merciful man, Red. I am not... capable.

"So you see, this is who I am. But it can't be explained, Red. Only felt. Only breathed... and impaled, of course.

"Don't worry about it, Red. None of this is fair anyway. Like I said, the deck's stacked. You're just here to get your ass kicked and shut the f*ck up, so... "

[Anarky lets out a yell as he leaps onto Irishred savagely with rights and lefts and tackles him to the ground. Within seconds, Dan Ryan is also on him, kicking him in the ribs, the head, anything he can get to. Steven Shane looks on in simple shock as this goes on, not knowing how to react….]

DT: OH MY GOD!! ANARKY JUST JUMPED IRISHRED!! DAN RYAN IS IN ON IT TOO!! THIS IS MAYHEM!! THIS IS….WELL…ANARCHY!!!!

[Shane, finally goes over and joins in as all three men wail away on Irishred. Ryan and Shane step back finally, Ryan’s chest heaving in anger as Anarky drives fist after fist into the now bloody head of Irishred, who at this point is simply trying to cover up. Anarky grabs anything he can find, the chair closest to him in the ring, the very table itself which he tips over on top of Red. Ryan, stalks over to the table and picks the pen and the microphone back up, and goes over to Red again, pulling Anarky up and off of him and getting right in his face, blood pooling all over the mat.]

DT: My God!! Someone get Irishred some help in there!! He’s busted wide open!!

Ryan: YOU DON’T BEAT ME!! YOU HEAR ME, YOU BACKWOODS BADLANDS JACKASS?!?!

[LOUD boos, which Ryan ignores]

Ryan: YOU THINK YOU’RE GONNA OUTSMART ME?!?! YOU DON’T OUTSMART ME!!! I’M IN CONTROL HERE, RED!! YOU HEAR ME??? I’M IN CONTROL!! YOU WANT TO RUN THE COMPANY?!?! YOU WANT THESE PAPERS SIGNED???

[Ryan digs the pen into Irishred’s forehead, coating it in blood as Red screams his head off in the ring and tries to fight him off. Ryan gets up suddenly and stalks back over to the paperwork, signing his name quickly in a mixture of blood and ink.]

Ryan: [slamming the pen down in Red’s face, who at this point is too delirious to respond.] There!! The company’s yours.

[Anarky snatches the mic out of Ryan’s hand as Ryan leaves the ring.]

Anarky: And Red… try and clean yourself up. You're in the main event against Steven Shane in the first round....

[Anarky once again drives the corner of the wooden table into Irishred’s throat, prompting Ryan to turn and pull him off, all the while Anarky spitting and cursing at Red on the canvas.]

[Medical personnel rush to the ring and slide in, with Ryan, Shane and Anarky safely out. The three men are seen walking up the aisle, Anarky with a disgusted snarl in Red’s direction. Shane still dazed and Ryan not even looking, but staring forward as he walks toward the top of the ramp. The crowd boos heavily until……

LOUD pop as Beast comes barreling out from the top of the stage and stops dead in his tracks in front of the three men, who all come to focus on him. Slowly, the men part. Anarky stares right at him, Ryan smirks and Shane smiles as they allow him to walk through, turning to cover his back, then turning and breaking into a sprint to the ring to check on Irishred. Beast checks on the new owner and glares back up as the three men exit.]

DT: Folks, we’ve gotta take a break after this. I can’t believe what just happened.

DM: There’s just too much to go over, Thomas. I can’t digest it all!

DT: We’ll be right back!!!​
 
Last edited:

DBrunkGXW

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Rocko Daymon vs. Arson Zanders (Shortform)

Rocko Daymon vs.Arson Zanders

Daymon took his time with the newcomer, sizing him up early on and struggling a bit with his shootfighting style. Indeed, it was Zanders who took control with a hard striking offense that took Daymon completely out of his game. Zanders was well on his way to an early King of the Cage upset when, as he leaned against the cage to get a breather after a stiff roundhouse kick a mysterious figure appeared from under the ring in a mask and slithered up a few rungs of the side of the cage and hit Zanders in the back of the head with a foreign object. Daymon, unaware of the interference took advantage after coming to his senses by setting up and hitting the Brain Rocker, which gave him plenty of time to escape the cage through the door for the win.

Winner: Rocko Daymon in 11:52​
 

DBrunkGXW

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Communism and the working man

[The camera goes back to some hallway, where a kid in a black "Crew" shirt is mopping up a puddle of spilled coffee. He doesn't look very tall, less than 6' feet tall. Certainly not a mountain of muscle by any means, but he's not supposed to be, he's holding a mop.]

Nero: Well well well, what do we have here, Augustus?

[C.P. Nero introduced himself into the scene with a smug expression on his face.]

Augustus: Well let's evaluate the scene shall we?

[Augustus, a stark contrast to the mop holder, nearly 7 feet tall and all muscle, chimed in.]

Augustus: We've got a mop, we've got a shirt that says “Crew”, I think it's Joey Melton!

[The young man with the cleaning tool pays them no mind. It wouldn't be the first time people have decided to play with him while he's working. It's happened in a number of federations; EPW isn't the first wrestling organization that he's worked crew for.]

Nero: Well that's rude.

[The smaller Proletarian smirks.]

Nero: Joey's too good to speak to us apparently.

Augustus: Yeah, hey buddy, just cause we're working class people doesn't mean you can just ignore us like that.

[Augustus pretended to wipe a tear off.]

Augustus: Communists have feelings too!

[The backstage worker keeps his eyes on his job.]

???: If you'd like to make conversation, we can do so later. After this I've got something else to attend to, no time for small talk.

[He's telling the truth, the camera quickly pans down the hall to see another "wet floor" sign and something that's green and slimy. We then turn back to the three people nearest to the camera.]

Augustus: This isn't small talk.

[The massive human being closes in on the crew member within mere inches, towering above him.]

Augustus: As you can see, I'm too big for small talk.

???: You're stepping on a spot I haven't mopped yet. Coffee stains are too hard to get out to be doing that.

Nero: Oh are they?

[C.P. steps into the picture again.]

Nero: Well isn't that some useful information from Mr. Clean himself! Hey, I got this stain on my pants and I just can't get it off. Any advice on what I should do to take it off?

[The smaller member of the Proletariat, still bigger than our undaunted crew kid, beams as he smiles.]

???: It depends on the stain. If that wasn't sexual innuendo, then a Cheer stain-breaker and a cycle in the wash will be fine. If you attempted to make some sort of penis joke, then burn the pants, put on a new pair, and by then I'll have found a 9th grader for you to converse with on that level.

Nero: Woooahh, look at Joey Melton, Mr. Clean! Talking big! You know Joey, you comparing me to a 9th grader is amusing to me. Here you stand as a backstage worker mopping. Here I stand, not only a wrestler, but for your information I have a Master's degree in Political Science.

[Neither man is smiling anymore.]

Nero: And you're being condescending to me? You're NOTHING. You can only wish and dream that you were in the position that I am.

Augustus at this time put his hand on the crew member's shoulder, gripping it menacingly.

???: I'm sorry, but I find that funny. You spent yours, or somebody else's, thousands of dollars getting a Master's Degree in Political Science, only to forgo any hint of an academic or publishing career, choosing instead to wrestle. I may have a mop, but at least the opportunity cost of using this mop isn't as colossal as the social cost you incur by not living up to your potential.

[The kid looks down at his shoulder.]

???: And had you not yet noticed, that doesn't hurt or intimidate me.

Nero: Maybe we should give the little pipsqueak something to be intimidated about then.

[He and Augustus move in closer, C.E. grabbing the mop and tossing it off down the hall. They look about ready to lay a beating on the kid when a voice rings out behind them, halting their impending mugging.]

??? Number 2: I thought I smelled the outdated doctrine of a boorish government in the air. And whaddaya know...its two biggest preachers want to punk out the new guy.

[C.P. and C.E. turn around to find Lindsay Troy standing at the hallway's intersection, hands on her hips, looking rather perturbed.]

Troy: Don't you two chuckleheads have anything better to do?

Nero: Heyyy! If it isn't the Champ herself! We really don't have anything better to do, Lindz. The real question is don't you have anything better to do than play hero? Shouldn't you be out signing autographs, promoting EPW, you know, being the Champ?

Troy: My meet and greet with the fans ended five hours ago, but I can fit in another, more personal, one right now.

[She strides over to the Proletariat, eyes locked on theirs, and stands behind the crew member with arms folded over her chest.]

Troy: Get your hand off Silvio, unless you want me to remove it myself. The latter option won't turn out quite well for you.

[Augustus smirks, squeezing the kid's shoulder.]

Augustus: What? The runt's got a name? I had already endeared myself to calling him Joey Melton.

Nero: I liked calling him Mr. Clean.

Augustus: Mr. Clean's buff though, Dan Ryan kind of buff.

Nero: Yeah, hey listen, Champ. No bad feelings right? Here, have a pamphlet about Communism as a parting gift. You'll be enlightened.

[Troy swipes the pamphlet, crumples it up and no-look tosses it over her shoulder into a nearby trash can. C.P. chuckles, then motions for C.E. to follow him. The larger man releases Silvio Fiore from his grasp and looks down at Troy]

Augustus: Be seein' ya soon, <i>Champ.</i>

[The Proletariat walk off, leaving Lindsay and Silvio by themselves. Yes, Silvio Fiore, the same young man who will face Troy Douglas later in the first round of King of the Cage. He retrieves the mop, setting it down in the wheelie-bucket of cleaning solution. Hands wet with Mop-n-Glo, he refrains from offering a handshake until he wipes it off with a towel.]

Fiore: Thanks, I was concerned I'd have to engage them. Seems no matter where I go, there's always people willing to bother the help. It's amazing that there's no provision or workman's comp for that sort of thing. Working for a wrestling promotion is not itself an assumption of risk if a person isn't signing a competition contract. Enough about that, though... how have you been?

[Lindsay lets her arms fall back to her sides, stuffs her hands in the pockets of her jeans and shrugs.]

Troy: About as well as can be expected, I suppose. Why are you back working crew anyway? I thought you left that behind when you left PRIME.

Fiore: Oh no, it had nothing to do with PRIME. I do this in every federation that I work. It's usually normal work, with mostly being left alone. I just feel like giving back a little to a federation... everything else, using the ring and airtime, all that other stuff; for me it's just taking.

Troy: Just watch out for yourself, alright? Some of the guys here, like Nero and Augustus, won't stop getting on your case about it. And with this tournament starting, and all the shake-ups, people are going to be even edgier than normal.

[The EPW newcomer, just 18 years old, shrugs his shoulders. He's a good 6 inches shorter than Lindsay so he has to look up at her.]

Fiore: I can manage... nobody ever looked menacing while accosting somebody with a mop. And what with image being so important in wrestling and all.

[Silvio takes a sigh, closing his eyes for a brief moment.]

Fiore: I suppose I do make myself a target, but I can't convincingly act differently. The bullseye will be there anyway if people are looking for someone to mess with. It's my size, youth, and rookie status that's going to make mess with me more than anything. Past that, people probably don't care what I do.

[Troy smiles, and puts her left hand on his shoulder.]

Troy: You're in the King of the Cage, kiddo. If you beat Douglas tonight, and keep on winning, <i>everyone's</i> going to care what you do, where you do it and how you do it. Trust me. I've been there.

Fiore: In that case, it's imperative that I keep doing things the same way. Antagonistic strangers are hardly the type of people I'd let control and influence my life.

Troy: Sometimes...it's not a matter of you <i>letting</i> it happen. It just does, regardless of whether you want it to or not.

[Fiore takes up the mop again, one of those handle-wring numbers so that he doesn't have to touch the bucket or the mop bristles.]

Silvio: Maybe so. All I can do is be myself. Besides, sitting around the whole show not doing anything is pretty boring.

[Lindsay's about to reply when, from down the hall, she spies Mister Jomo running toward her, waving his arms in an attempt to get her attention. Irishred's aid stops next to them and pants heavily, trying to catch his breath.]

Mr. Jomo: Miss....Troy...[pant pant] I...well, [pant] Mister Irishred [deep breath, okay] wants to see you in his office.

[Troy quirks an eyebrow skyward.]

Troy: Really. That's most inconvenient, since I've sworn to loathe him for all eternity.

Mr. Jomo: I beg your pardon?

Troy: I have nothing to say to him and there's nothing he could say to me that I could possibly have any desire to hear. Quite simply, he can go **** himself. Now run along back to Master.

[Jomo's eyes widen to saucers. He slowly turns on his heel and walks back in the direction from whence he came. A silence befalls the hallway, with Lindsay glaring after Jomo. Eventually, Silvio breaks the silence.]

Fiore: So... is there something going on there that I should know about? I try to keep below the radar but doesn't hurt to be aware of everything.

[Push, pull, push, pull... it's not sex, it's cleaning duty, and he's almost done. One more go over with a secondary mop, water only, and he'll be done.]

Fiore: You can probably give me some more specific advice on things or people to avoid. Not that it'll help, if inevitability will mean that I'll become jittery and jaded. I'll try my best not to get that far, though.

[That said with a big, cheesy, genuine grin on his face.]

Troy: Sure, but all this may take awhile. I'm going to head off to my locker room and just lay low. Come find me when you're done and I'll explain everything.​
 

DBrunkGXW

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"Triple X" Sean Stevens vs. "Dark Phenom" Nakita Dahaka

"Triple X" Sean Stevens vs. "The Dark Phenom" Nakita Dahaka

The second match of the night saw Sean Stevens continue his return to EPW with a first round matchup against Nakita Dahaka. Dahaka’s manager, Delilah Demonik was noticeably subdued throughout the contest, perhaps as a result of the events that transpired at Wrestleverse II. Dahaka’s physical presence was enough to keep Stevens off-balance through the early part of the match, but Stevens’ experience and technical prowess proved too much. With Demonik unable to provide any assistance, Stevens hit the X-Terminator which proved to be more than enough to afford him the opportunity to escape the cage for the win.

Winner: “Triple X” Sean Stevens in 8:38​
 

DBrunkGXW

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S'appenin Stevens? PLUS - Sensationally Pissed

DT: You have to admire the tenacity of Sean Stevens. This man endured one HELL of a--

[On the big screen, suddenly, Ice Tre appears. We hear his cackling before we recognize him, really. Eyes hidden behind his shades, he is very animated and "hyped". Standing before an Aggression backdrop, Tre picks his teeth with a toothpick.]

MN: What is THIS about?

DT: We know that Ice Tre TRIED to attack Triple X at Wrestleverse but instead--

MN: Got his ASS handed to him--

[Before they can finish their thoughts, Ice Tre clears his throat, silencing the cheering fans.]

ICE TRE: S'appnin', baby? It is me, the T-R-E. How you LIVIN', Stevenz? You remember me, don't you?

[Triple X swept some hair away from his sweaty brow and squinted at the screen in disbelief. Then he smiled.]

ICE TRE: That's right, son. I remember YOU, too. You be that same sucka that DROPPED me at 'Verse Two. I tip my hat. You was ready for me. But you need to know a few things about Ice Tre. First, I *am* the K'ang of the Streets. I *am* dirtier than dirt, baby. I *know* how to get down. Second, Ice Tre don't give up. He don't stop.

[Tre smiled on the screen and Stevens looked to a production assistant for a microphone. It was in that brief moment when, from the crowd, appeared Ice Tre.]

DT: Ice Tre is just at the entrance!

DM: He's got a steel chair in hand!

[Shirtless, Ice Tre charged from behind and BLASTED Sean Stevens in the back with the chair.]

DT: Stevens goes down! Hard! Ice Tre, OH! Again with the steel chair to the back! What is Tre THINKING?

ICE TRE [onscreen]: Remember the name, Stevenz. Let the world know that the Ice Age has arrived.

[Tre threw the chair down and hopped over the rail, smiling as he bounced back into the crowd. On the mat, Sean Stevens slowly got to his knees, his face twisted in pain.]

ICE TRE [onscreen]: Reckonize, son. Reckonize.

DT: Ice Tre has sent a message to Sean Stevens tonight!

[Cut backstage]

[The scene opens to a shot of Steven Shane walking through the back of the arena. He finally comes to a stop at a door that reads: “Dan Ryan – Owner, EPW”. Shane reads the plate and quickly pulls it off the door. He then busts in and we see Dan Ryan cleaning out his desk.]

Shane: Here ya go, you might wanna get a new one of these made.

[Shane tosses the nameplate at Dan Ryan, who just stares at him.]

Shane: What the hell is going on, man? I put my neck on the line for you, and this is how you repay me?

Vice President of Operations? What the hell is that? Why don’t you just call it “Dan Ryan’s new best friend’s ass kisser”?

Ryan continues to stare at Shane.

Shane: That’s what I thought. I can’t believe that I thought helping you out would actually lead to some sort of reward for me.

Here I am. Still stuck in the exact same position as I was before I lent my helping hand.

As far as I’m concerned, you can take your little VP position and shove it. All you’re doing is dangling the worm in front of my face before you pull it away again.

Ryan: [still barely paying attention] Hey, could you pass me that box? This one's getting full. [Ryan tapes up the box he's working on, then looks up at Shane when he gets no response.]

Shane: Whatever. I’m outta here.

[Shane slams the door as the camera focuses on Ryan before fading out.]​
 
Last edited:

DBrunkGXW

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"The Phenom" Shawn Hart vs. C.E. Augustus

"The Phenom" Shawn Hart vs. C.E. Augustus

In the upset of the night, C.E. Augustus defeated EPW Television Champion Shawn Hart with his devastating finishing maneuver, the K-14 – a belly to belly suplex pildriver. C.P. Nero’s presence outside proved to be ample distraction to give Augustus the advantage throughout the match. However, despite the disadvantage Shawn Hart’s vast repertoire nearly overcame the odds as he rallied to a near finish. It was during this rally that Nero reached in and tripped Hart up just enough to distract him, leaving him vulnerable to Augustus’ finisher. From there, Augustus made his way through the cage door with Hart reaching for him at the sixteen minute mark.

Winner: C.E. Augustus in 16:07​
 

DBrunkGXW

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War Machine

[Fade in from black to the sounds of soldiers marching and a black and white stock video from World War II. An eerie, deep tone casts itself over the acoustics of boots hitting the pavement. ]

Voiceover: Over 60 years ago America faced a German enemy the likes of which it had never seen. Now... it faces an even larger challenge...

[Fade to a slow zooming shot on the back of an insanely large man. His muscles ripple as he curls a large bar of weight in front of him. The shot is interlaced with brief flashes of his body, drenched in sweat and pulsating with energy. Abrupt screams are heard as zooming shot switches to a pan of his tattoos... mountains of skulls with their mouths open, crying out to someone unknown. The zooming shot ends a safe distance away from the man as the audience catches a glimmer of light on his bald head. He slowly lifts his head up, looking straight forward, yet still concealing his face from the camera.]

Man with a thick German accent: I have waited. I have trained. I stood by as the masses chanted the names of unworthy men. But I wait... no more.

[The beast of a man lifts his arms up slowly to the heavens and tilts his head up to the single spotlight that shines on him from above.]

Man: I have spoken with the Father... and Now... is the time. He tells me this…is MY time. He TELLS me... that the Motherland needs me. That these fools... must be ripped. They must be scarred. The skies... oh.... the skies... give unto your son the blood of man. Give unto me the strength I need to rid this world of the weak. Let me rip them... limb... from limb. I can taste the fear of the inferiors... it IS the time.

[The monster looks at his own hands, bringing them to his sides. A small amount of blood trickles from where he has clenched the weight bar.]

Man: I can feel it, Father.

[Fade back to the sounds of soldiers marching as the screen drops to black.]​
 

DBrunkGXW

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Troy Douglas vs. Silvio Fiore

Silvio Fiore vs. Troy Douglas

Silvio Fiore made his debut against veteran Troy Douglas. Douglas was as solid as ever, crisp in his delivery although he had trouble overcoming Fiore’s seeming endless pain threshold. Indeed, as Fiore reportedly is incapable of feeling the sensation of pain Douglas had to invent ways to wrestle effectively on the fly. Fiore dazzled the crowd during parts of the match with lightning quick offense, keeping Douglas grounded for long stretches of time while striking from all angles. The match made its way to the top of the cage as both men fought to get over. With Fiore able to counter every Douglas attack, the end came finally as the force of a Douglas forearm knocked Fiore’s hands loose from the cage, sending him tumbling to the mat. Even so, Fiore scrambled for the cage door as Douglas climbed over and down the outside of the cage as quickly as possible. Douglas hit the floor just a moment before Fiore reached through, tumbling forward with both hands to the ground - giving Douglas the close win.

Winner: Troy Douglas in 18:14​
 

DBrunkGXW

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JA vs. Kin Hiroshi

DT: What a night of first-round contests we’ve had tonight as we open up the King of the Cage here in Yankton, and the match we’ve got for you now has been as hotly contested a war of words we’ve seen in quite some time.

DM: JA and Kin Hiroshi have gone back and forth all week, and it’s a shame these two drew each other in the first round, because I’m sure there are a lot of people who expected one, if not both of these men to contend for the King of the Cage title and the number one contendership.

MN: Not me.

DM: Why?

MN: No reason. Just felt like it.

DM: Alllllll-riiiiiiiiiigggghhhhht. Dave?

DT: Oy vey. Let’s just go to Tony for the introductions

[CUT TO: Tony Fatora, mid-ring with microphone in hand.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a first round KING OF THE CAGE contest, where the winner will be the first man to escape the cage either over the top of the cage or through the cage door. Introducing first…

[CUE UP: “Sigillum Diaboli” H.I.M. as Kin Hiroshi emerges from backstage an jogs straight towards the cage, a confident expression on his face.]

TF: Hailing from Seattle, Washington, he stands 6’1” and weighs in tonight at 240 pounds. He is THE MUFFIN MAN….KIIIIIIIIIIIN HIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOSSSSHIIIIII!

[Hiroshi enters the cage through the door and warms up, bouncing off the ropes a few times.]

TF: His opponent…

[CUE UP: “Eat the Rich” Fozzy. JA stands behind a silhouetting curtain so that you can only see a shadowed outline of him, back facing the door and wingspan outstretched. Then, as soon as the lyrics kick in, a giant bang of pyro blows up and JA hops around through the curtain with Lollipop following behind him. After that, it's the usual face fare; slapping hands, answering cat calls and generally hamming it up for the crowd. He runs towards the cage and, instead of entering through the door, he scales the cage, pausing at the top to play to the crowd.]

TF: Hailing from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, he stands 6 feet tall and weighs in tonight at 219 pounds…JAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY AAAAAAAYYYYYYEEEEE!!!!!

[SFX: Bell rings. JA jumps down the last few feet to the ring and is stung immediately with a right hand from Hiroshi.]

DT: Kin’s not waiting one second! He’s just firing away at JA, not giving him a chance to gain his bearings.

MN: Does that mean I can take his bearings?

DM: Sure, why the hell not?

MN: Sweet!

DT: Hiroshi’s laying into JA with those forearm shots, JA tries a clothesline…misses! Hiroshi pulls through…irish whip…he holds on and drives his knee straight into the sternum of the Anglo Luchador! Hiroshi flows through with an arm ringer, and he elbows JA in the stomach and flips him over with a hip toss.

DM: Even in the cage, Hiroshi is still as technically sound as anyone in EPW.

MN: Boo hoo, Deano. It’s a cage match. BRING ON THE CRAZY STUFF!

DM: Later, Neely, later. For now, lay off the coffee.

MN: No coffee for me. White Hot Chocolate. Welcome to Cozytown, *****es!

DT: Actually, that stuff is pretty good, Dean.

DM: Your on HIS side now? Dear sweet lord, they knoweth not what they are doing.

DT: Back to the action, and Hiroshi’s got a standing surfboard applied, with his knee planted right into the middle of JA’s spine. You can’t see his face under that mask, but you’ve gotta think that underneath he’s showing a fair bit of pain right now.

MN: Maybe, maybe not. We’ve never seen under the mask. Maybe that mask really IS his face.

DM: Or…no.

MN: Yeah, you’re probably right. But, what if you’re not? What if it’s all a giant conspiracy? What if…

DM: Cram it, Mikey.

DT: JA’s trying to leverage himself up, he’s almost to his feet…he makes it! Hiroshi can’t keep the surfboard locked on and we’re back to square one. Collar and elbow lockup, and JA shoves Hiroshi off the ropes. The Muffin Man leapfrogs JA on the rebound…back he comes…BIG dropkick by JA and both men go flipping over!

DM: Perfect form on that dropkick, and it’s the first sign of life we’ve seen from JA tonight.

DT: Hiroshi up, and JA goes straight at his knees with round kicks! Hiroshi buckles over…JA nails him across the sternum with an absolutely BLISTERING knife-edged chop!

MN: Everybody chops…WOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!

DM: That’s not how it goes!

MN: I know, just trying something different.

DM: Moron.

DT: Hiroshi up again…JA cuts him off with another vicious chop, and another…ONE MORE!!! He’s chopping the Muffin Man’s chest completely raw!

MN: As opposed to Hiroshi, who likes to bake things.

DT: Whip off the ropes by JA…and a big elbow knocks Kin right back down! Up he comes…arm wringer…and an elbow smash right to Kin Hiroshi’s lower arm…one to the side of his head…and a side Russian Legsweep! The Anglo Luchador takes measure of his fallen opponent…LEAPS and spikes his knee straight into Kin Hiroshi’s abdomen!

DM: JA is being absolutely methodical right now, trying to knock the energy out of Hiroshi so he won’t have the ability to get over the top of the cage.

MN: Yeah, and if he’d kneed him a few inches lower, Kin wouldn’t be able to bake any more Mini-Muffins, if you know what I mean.

DM: You’re an idiot, Neely. We all know what you mean. Always.

DT: JA pulls Hiroshi to his feet…whips him into the corner…Hiroshi staggers out…JA telegraphs the back body drop and Kin grabbed on the JA’s neck and dropped his face right across the Japanese veteran’s knee! Off the ropes comes Hiroshi, and he takes JA down with a dropkick that connects just below the knees!

DM: Hiroshi’s smart, he saw that advantage in the hole JA gave him and went right to work.

MN: That’s what she said.

DM: Don’t do that.

MN: That’s what she said.

DM: What does that mean?

MN: That’s what she said.

DM: …

DT: Hiroshi drops the elbow on JA…pops back up…running start…OOOOOHHH!!!

MN: OUCH!

DT: Kin Hiroshi hit that baseball slide kick right to JA’s jaw, and JA’s neck just moved in a way I don’t think we’ve seen since The Exorcist!

DM: Is that one of JA’s teeth that flew all the way across the ring?

MN: No.

DM: Well then, what is it?

MN: It’s…it’s…it’s a…DAMN!!! I can’t think of a snappy one-liner!

DM: Awesome.

DT: Hiroshi pulls JA up by the back of the neck…turns around…and just FIRES JA headfirst into the unforgiving steel mesh of that cage wall…AND HE DOES IT AGAIN!!!! JA staggers back…BIG RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!! JA’s down all the way across the ring, and Hiroshi wants to get out right now!

DM: He’s gonna have to move quick here, but if he can he’ll walk out of here with a big, big win.

DT: He’s beginning to scale that far wall, and JA is beginning to stir! Hiroshi’s halfway up the inside of the cage…JA grabs on to his left ankle! Hiroshi kicks it away and keeps climbing! Getting closer…JA dives for him, grabs both ankles and just YANKS Kin off the cage and back first onto the mat! JA hits the ropes…springboard…LIONSAULT!!!! Picture-perfect springboard moonsault by JA!!

MN: That was picture-perfect? Aw, man!

DM: What?
MN: My camera phone’s out of batteries! Do it again! PLEASE!

DT: Sorry, Mike. Maybe later, because JA’s calling for the cage door to be opened!

MN: Darn.

DT: JA going to step through those ropes, but Hiroshi’s up and there to pull him back! Hiroshi fires a big haymaker…rocks JA, but he fires right back! JA gets Hiroshi in close…and he UNLEASHES on Kin with those open-handed strikes!

MN: He’s SLAPPING him? Really?

DM: No, Mike. It’s…screw it, you wouldn’t understand.

MN: Damn right.

DT: JA shoves Hiroshi into the corner…whips him across the ring back-first into the turnbuckles! Here comes JA…FLYING KNEE STRAIGHT TO THE FACE OF KIN HIROSHI!!! Hiroshi wobbles out of the corner…straight into a snap suplex from JA…rolls through…and hits another vicious snap suplex…rolls through again…changes his grip and NAILS the fisherman’s buster!!!!!!

DM: Fantastic sequence right there for JA, and he’s really beginning to assert his control in this matchup.

DT: JA’s going towards the near cage wall and he’s going to try and get out by going over the top. Hiroshi’s slow to get up, and JA is making his way up that steel mesh! He’s to the top!

MN: When I was a kid, I was totally able to jump a fence that tall.

DM: Sure you were. I really, really believe you, Mike.

MN: HA! You’re so gullible, Deano! By the way, I can get you a great deal on the Brooklyn Bridge.

DM: Dumbass.

DT: Hiroshi is partly up that wall too! He’s got a hold of JA’s waist with his right arm…OH DEAR LORD!!!! Kin Hiroshi pried JA from the top of that wall and just suplexed him 15 feet to the ring from the top of the cage! Both men are down and quite possibly out!

DM: That was absolutely insane, Mike. Just goes to show how badly both of these men want to be the King of the Cage.

[CUT TO: Split-screen replay. Hiroshi manages to hook JA from behind as both men fall off the cage, making a tremendous impact.]

DT: Referee Bryan Weatherby is starting the ten count, if neither man can answer, someone’s getting a bye into the quarterfinals of this tournament!

DM: I don’t think either man can get up. That much height, that much impact, I just don’t see it happening.

BW: TWO…

THREE…

FOUR…

FIVE…

SIX…

DT: Hiroshi is starting to stir!

MN: So is JA!

CROWD: SEVEN…

EIGHT…

NINE…

DT: JA pulls himself to his feet with the help of the ropes! Hiroshi staggers up as well!

DM: That’s amazing, Dave. Absolutely amazing.

MN: Not really. It was a really slow ten count. We’ve been waiting—what—hour and a half?

DT: Hiroshi and JA lockup, go behind by JA who shoves Hiroshi off the ropes…DROP TOE HOLD INTO THE CAGE DOOR!!!! And I think Kin Hiroshi’s forehead has been split open, Dean.

DM: Yep.

MN: Ewwwwww. It’s all red and bubbly. Gross.

DT: Wait a minute, the impact knocked Kin Hiroshi into the door, which opened by force! Hiroshi is dangling out of the cage! If he can pull himself through the door he’ll…wait just a minute on that one! JA yanks Kin Hiroshi back into the ring and he’s got an ankle lock clamped on!

MN: That’s one way to stop him from getting out of the cage. He also could have metaphysically projected a forcefield, but his way was easier.

DT: JA’s cranking back…HIROSHI ROLLS THROUGH AND SENDS JA INTO THE CAGE DOOR!!!! But, JA’s impact opened the door, and he’s trying to untangle himself from the ropes and crawl through—no! Hiroshi grabbed both of JA’s legs…wheelbarrow into the suplex…COUNTERED!!!! JA shifted his weight in midair and countered Hiroshi’s suplex into a cutter!

DM: That’s freaky athleticism in a desperate situation. Hiroshi might’ve won this match right there if he hit that wheelbarrow suplex.

DT: JA’s going up top…he flies…FROGSPLASH!!!! Hit him after getting absolutely tremendous height on that one!!!!

DM: He just took off on that one!

MN: Uh-oh, Deano’s starting to get emotionally involved.

DM: Am not!

DT: JA is up, and he’s signaling to this capacity crowd in Yankton that he’s going for…YES!!!! WALLS OF JERICOHOLIC LOCKED IN!!!!! He’s putting unbelievable pressure on the lower back of Kin Hiroshi!

MN: Why’s he doing this? He’s gotta escape to win!

DM: If he makes Kin Hiroshi pass out from the pain, then he can’t stop him from leaving the cage, Mike.

MN: Oh yeah. Why didn’t I think of that?

DM: Because you’re a stupid douchebag.

MN: Exactly.







HEY!!!!!!!

DT: By the way, children, JA still has the Walls locked in, and Kin Hiroshi’s face is completely screwed up in pain! He’s trying to get to the ropes to break this one up!

DM: He can’t stay in this much longer, Dave. There’s no way.

DT: Hiroshi is making slow, slow progress towards the ropes.

Inching closer…

Closer still…

Almost there…

JA yanks him back! Hiroshi is SCREAMING in pain, and JA is doing everything he can to wrench back as far as he can on this modified Boston Crab! He’s still pulling, and Hiroshi is still getting closer and closer to the ropes….

AND…

HE…

PULLS ON THE ROPE AND SENDS JA TUMBLING INTO THE SIDE OF THE CAGE!!!! He managed to shift his weight just enough to make JA lose his balance!

MN: That had to be difficult to pull off!

DT: Hiroshi pulls himself to his feet…whips JA off the ropes…BIG LEG LARIAT!!! Hiroshi hit that square on JA’s face! Hiroshi scoops JA up…REVERSE DDT!!!! Kin Hiroshi is back and he is on fire!

MN: Um, did he just take some speed when I wasn’t looking?

DM: No.

MN: Then how the hell is he this alert again?

DM: Pure adrenaline, Mikey. As an athlete, it’s something I understand. As a puffy man-child, you don’t.

DT: Hiroshi waits for JA to get up…standing headscissors…could this be…YES! NAGASAKI FAT MAN!!!!! That devastating front flip piledriver has laid JA out in the center of this cage-enclosed ring! Kin Hiroshi is just moments away from moving on to round number two!

MN: Heheh. Flipping is cool.

DT: Hiroshi is climbing that cage very, very slowly. It’s obvious the back pain is impeding his motion. He’s struggling, but he is at the top!

DM: And JA is almost to his feet!

DT: Hiroshi looks back, and he sees JA get up! Oh, no! What is Hiroshi thinking?

MN: Get out, moron! You’ve got the match won!

DT: Hiroshi’s on top of the cage…TAKES FLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGHHTTTTTT…

DM: CRASH AND BURN!!!!

DT: JA rolled out of the way and Kin Hiroshi landed awkwardly on the mat after that cross-body attempt from the top of the cage, but JA’s not in position to get out of the cage either! He’s slumped over in the far corner!

MN: Somebody move! I gotta go to the bathroom!

DT: JA pulls himself up, and he lays a heavy boot into the back of Kin Hiroshi’s neck! JA struggles to pull Hiroshi into the corner, and he’s…scooping him up and putting him in the Tree of Woe!

DM: Best…Name…EVER!

DT: JA pumping up the crowd…charges from the corner…HESITATION DROPKICK!!!! What unbelievable height he got on that dropkick straight to the face, and it looked almost like he froze in midair.

MN: That. Was. Freaking. Sick.

DT: JA pulls Hiroshi off the corner, hooks him from behind…THERE’S THE LUCKY SEVEN SUPLEX!!! That devastating trademark suplex from the Anglo Luchador, and he’s going to try and head out of the cage! Here goes JA starting that slow climb up!

DM: He’s got to have this one. Hiroshi’s starting to get up, but he doesn’t even know where he is right now!

DT: JA pulls himself up the cage…HIROSHI STUMBLES INTO THE WALL!!! JA is dangling on the cage wall…

MN: Not for long, Burger Buddy.

DT: POWERBOMB!!!! Kin Hiroshi powerbombed JA off the cage and back to the mat!!! What a turn of events here in South Dakota, and now it’s Kin’s turn to scale the cage…NO!!!! JA, out of sheer desperation, grabbed on to Hiroshi, and is pulling himself up! They’re fighting all the way up the cage!

MN: SPIDERMAN FIGHT!!!! Can I be Doc Ock?

DM: No.

MN: But I want evil extra arms!

DT: Hiroshi and JA are trading punches as they scale the cage! They’re both up to the top…

They’re on the top and over the other side! This is unbelievable!!! Mike, Dean, these two men are DANGLING 15 feet in the air on the outside of this steel cage!

DM: One of them just has to drop down and they’ll move on, but they’re too busy beating the hell out of each other to get it done!

DT: Hiroshi…ROCKS JA WITH A LEFT HAND!!! JA is hanging by one hand off the cage and Kin Hiroshi is trying to get to the floor and have his feet touch the ground first! Kin Hiroshi is going to make it, he’s going to advance…WAIT JUST A MINUTE!!!!! LEONARD NIMOY SPECIAL FROM JA!!! He reached down and used that nerve hold on Hiroshi, who has been FROZEN in his tracks.

MN: ALL HAIL THE VULCAN NECK PINCH!!!!

DT: Hiroshi is damn near paralyzed while gripping the cage…

JA JUMPS…

DM: HIROSHI LET GO!!!

DT: WHO TOUCHES FIRST…

[SFX: Bell Rings]

DT: IT’S JA!!!!! JA’s feet hit the ground an instant before Kin Hiroshi crumpled to the protective mats, and JA is moving on after an absolutely spectacular, close-as-can-be encounter here at Aggression in Yankton.

[CUT TO: Split-screen replay in super-slo-mo. JA’s feet clearly hit the mat just moments before Hiroshi falls to the floor. JA, favoring his right side, has his left arm raised by Bryan Weatherby.]

DT: JA is one step closer to Russian Roulette. He is one step closer to being King of the Cage!

TF: The winner of the match…JAAAAAAAAAYYYYY AYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEE!!!!!!!​
 

DBrunkGXW

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Beast vs. "Extremely Bisexual" Beau Michaels

DM: Well fellas – I can’t say enough about that last match. All these cage matches are wearing me out.

DT: Folks, there is nothing in the world of professional wrestling more explosive than a steel cage match, and EPW is capturing that dream and running with it here in this “King of the Cage” tournament.

DM: Absolutely right, Dave. EPW has already showcased the great drawing power of this stipulation with the first few matches we have seen here tonight.

DT: And things are definitely about to pick up as we get set to see the former EPW World Heavyweight Champion, Beast take on EPW newcomer, Beau Michaels!

MN: Something is definitely about to pick up here, but I’m not too sure it’s the wrestling action with Beau Michaels involved.

DT: He is certainly some type of character, and it will be interesting to see just how Beast approaches this match.

[CUE UP: Monks chanting fading into Nickelback's "Figure You Out"]

[Beast makes his way out from behind the curtain with Jessica on his arm. The crowd goes absolutely nuts, but probably not in favor of the big guy, if you know what I mean. Jessica’s electric red tube top ties in perfectly with her short black mini-skirt. The whistles in the arena are quite ridiculous, actually.]

DT: Well fans, prior to Wrestleverse, we did not see Beast anywhere to be found after he failed in his attempt at a rematch with the EPW World Heavyweight Champion, Lindsay Troy.

DM: That six-man free-for-all was by far one of the most entertaining matches we have ever seen here in EPW and Beast really did his part in that match, only to fall well short of the finish line.

MN: And now, Big Loafy thinks that he actually has a chance at defeating the Queen of the Ring still, or he wouldn’t have entered this match.

DT: Well, you can’t rest on just one try. You’ve got to reinvent yourself and come back better than before, Neels.

MN: This guy still looks like a giant loaf of bread to me. I think the only thing that he reinvented was his diet, which was apparently shovel, chomp, repeat.

DT: Well, you may not be excited to see Beast back in EPW, but I know that myself and these fans certainly are.

[Beast climbs into the ring with Jessica as they make their way to their corner and await the arrival of the opponent.]

[CUE UP: "Satisfaction" by Benny Benassi and the Biz.]

[To everyone’s surprise, The Chicken, rather than Beau Michaels makes his way out from behind the curtain.]

DT: Well, there’s The Chicken… Where the hell is Beau?

[As if on cue, Beau Michaels steps out from behind the curtain.]

DT: What the hell is that entourage that Michaels has with him?

[The camera pans back to show Beau surrounded by several males, all wearing wigs along with red tube tops and black mini-skirts!]

MN: It’s single white female, but with men! Irishred needs to get his damn promotion under control!

DM: And the groping that they are doing to Michaels’s midsection as he walks to the ring is quite…

DT: Repulsive? Disgusting?

MN: Gay?

DT: It is certainly something and I’m not very comfortable with it.

[The entourage finally make their way down to the ring and wait in their corner outside the cage. Beau enters and the ref instructs Jessica that she must leave the cage.]

DM: And Jessica doesn’t want to leave the cage!

MN: Of course not! That puts her that much closer to those freaks! Come sit with me, Jessica! I’ll protect you!

DT: Well, the referee really doesn’t seem to care what Jessica wants because he is still ordering her to leave the cage!

[Beast gives Jessica some reassurance and she reluctantly nods her head before finally making her way to the cage door. She exits the ring as the “Jessicas” eye her from the opposite corner. The ref finally looks to both Beast and Beau Michaels before signaling to the time keeper.]

[DING DING DING]

DT: Well, Jessica has safely made it to the outside of the ring and now we’re ready to get this match underway. The two men step to the middle of the ring and quickly lock up in a collar and elbow. Michaels quickly slips out of the hold. He’s now behind Beast…

DM: And Beau Michaels just pinched Beast on the rear end!

MN: This might be too much for me. Folks, if you have small children, you may want to send them to bed.

DT: Well, Beast is none too pleased about that action. He stares down Michaels, who is just smiling back at Beast!

DM: And there’s a hard clothesline by Beast! He damn near took Beau’s head off with that blow!

MN: Can we cool it with the heads and the blows?

DM: Oh wow. As you wish, Neels…

DT: Beast reaches down now and pulls Beau back up to his feet. Beast reaches back…

DM: Big knife-edge chop!

Crowd: WHOO!!!

DM: And another!

Crowd: WHOO!!!

DM: And another!

Crowd: WHOOOOOOO!!!!

DT: Beast now has Michaels backed into the ropes. He grabs him by the arm and now gives him an Irish whip across the ring. Michaels rebounds…

DM: And a big sidewalk slam as Beast damn near breaks Michaels in half! He goes for the cover…

DT: But that’s not how these cage matches work, Dean! He must make an escape to win!

DM: Definitely a slip up there by Beast, but I don’t think it will slow him that much.

DT: Certainly not as he pulls himself to his feet and now makes his way towards the cage door. The referee on the outside opens it…

DM: But Beast stops in his tracks!

MN: It’s those damn Jessicas!

DT: Indeed it is! Those… guys are standing right by the door and they are licking their lips as they wait on Beast to exit the ring!

MN: Literally! They’re licking their lips!

DT: And now, Beast turns back to the ring and faces the slowly rising Beau Michaels. Beast grabs him by the head to pull him up…

DM: But there’s a right to the midsection by Michaels! And now another! Michaels makes his way up to his feet.

DT: And now Michaels goes for a boot to the midsection… But Beast blocks it! Michaels is stuck here!

DM: Oh my! Enziguri by Michaels! Beast just slumped right to the mat there after that SHOT to the back of the head!

DT: And Michaels doesn’t waste anytime as he pulls Beast back up to his feet again. Beast swings a right hand…

DM: But Michaels ducks the blow! And now he quickly locks Beast in a full nelson!

DT: Oh my! Don’t look now, but that’s no longer a full nelson!

DM: Beau Michaels has just slid himself right down Beast’s body with his hands!

MN: I’m going to be nauseous.

DT: And Beast quickly pulls himself away from Michaels again!

DM: And look at the state of confusion on Beast’s face!

MN: Are you not confused, Matthews?

DM: Well, yes…

MN: Then leave Big Loafy alone! I’m actually feeling sorry for the guy here!

DT: Well, it doesn’t look like Beast is going to feel sorry for himself! He nails Michaels with a right hand! And another! Beast whips Michaels into the ropes…

DM: And a big spinebuster!

DT: And Beast is tired of this! He’s signaling to finish the match right here! Michaels is slowly pulling himself to his feet and Beast is just sitting back waiting on him here…

DM: Michaels is up. Beast steps toward him…

MN: WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!

DT: The lights have just dimmed here in the arena! Beast is lost!

DM: What the- Is that a disco ball dropping down through the cage?

DT: It is! And what is that god awful music that’s playing over the PA?

MN: Is that Moby?

DT: Don’t they realize that nobody listens to techno?

DM: Apparently the Jessicas do! They’re going nuts on the outside!

MN: Did you say going FOR the nuts? Cause they’re getting way too close for me.

DT: Look out! Beau Michaels just caught the confused Beast with a Tornado DDT out of nowhere!

DM: Oh sure. Now they cut out the music. Was that a set-up by Beau?

DT: I’m not sure. But whatever it was, I hope that it doesn’t happen again.

MN: That makes two of us.

DT: And now Michaels is making his way to the corner. He’s going to scale the cage here.

DM: This is a good move by Michaels. He really nailed Beast with that Tornado DDT when Beast was still out of it.

DT: Michaels is to the top rope now. Wait! He’s not scaling the cage! He turns around to face the ring…

DM: Guillotine leg drop to Beast!

DT: And now Michaels is pulling himself to his feet. He looks to be heading for the door of the cage!

DM: And Beau might have taken something out of himself with that leg drop. He’s moving pretty slowly as he heads for that door.

DT: No! Michaels stops again! What the hell is he doing?

DM: He’s heading back to the fallen Beast!

DT: Michaels kneels beside of Beast and now pulls him to a sitting position. What the hell is he doing?

MN: Oh my God! Did he just stroke Beast’s cheek?

DT: I think he did! He now lowers his head toward Beast’s face…

DM: Oh my! What a right hand to the face by Beast! Beast must have felt Michaels’s soft, hot breath on his-

MN: MATTHEWS!!!

DM: Wow. I think I’ve read too many romance novels.

MN: Jesus! Take it easy, Mrs. Garrison!

DT: Guys, soft, hot breaths aside, Beast is now absolutely ripping into Beau Michaels here! Right hands are flying!

DM: But look on the outside! Those Jessicas have congregated right to where Beast and Beau are! And they are really exploring each other there on the outside!

MN: I don’t think exploring is the proper word. Maybe more like spelunking!

DT: And Beast slows down as he looks at them!

DM: But he’s not going to let it affect him! He shakes his head and continues to throw those right hands into Beau’s head!

DT: And now Beast whips Michaels across the ring to the corner. That door is still open over there.

DM: Beast charges in…

DT: Wait! The Jessicas aren’t done! They’re encircling the real Jessica here! Jessica looks absolutely terrified here!

MN: I would too! At least it’s her and not me out there!

DT: Neels!

MN: Hey, tell me that you’d take her place.

DT: …

MN: That’s what I thought!

DT: Those Jessicas are almost completely surrounding Jessica here…

DM: And now Jessica gives out a shriek like I’ve never heard before!

DT: Beast turns his head and makes his way to the other side of the ring. He yells a few choice words down at the Jessicas!

DM: And they obviously don’t want any trouble! They backed off almost immediately!

DT: Beast turns back to the middle of the ring now…

DM: OH MY! Beau Michaels just caught Beast with a foreign object! He damn near shoved it down Beast’s throat! What the hell was that?

[The camera zooms in on the foreign object that still sets in Beast’s mouth.]

DT: What the- Is that a Nintendo Wii controller?

DM: It is! How the hell did he manage to get that to the ring and keep it hidden all this time?

[The camera splits to show the replay while they continue to show the action. We see Beast leave the screen as Beau slowly stands upright. He then reaches behind him and into his tights.]

DT: Oh my God! Look at the look on Beau’s face as he’s reaching down into those tights!

DM: It looks like pure ecstasy on his face!

MN: That’s it Matthews. I’m cutting your mic.

DM: Wait! Do you mean to tell me he pulled that controller out of his…

MN: [violent vomiting sounds]

DM: Ugh! Come on Neely! These shoes are brand new!!

DT: Michaels is slowly pulling himself toward Beast’s fallen body. He pulls the Wii controller out of Beast’s mouth and lifts him to his feet. Beast is wobbly here as Michaels takes a step back…

DM: And he completely smashes the Wii controller over Beast’s head! It’s in a million pieces all over the ring!

DT: Michaels turns to the door. He walks over and the referee opens the door…

[DING DING DING]

TB: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… BEAU MICHAELS!

MN: Oh God! This must be the celebration dance!

DT: Those Jessicas are closing in on Beau and pulling him to his feet. And now they’re dancing all around him!

MN: That’s too much gyration and hand sliding for me to stomach. I’m running to the restroom for this commercial break.

DT: Folks, we’ve still got more action to come! Don’t go anywhere!​
 

DBrunkGXW

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Cameron Cruise Project Celebration

This is a placeholder. Steve will edit this in later.
 

DBrunkGXW

Consigliere
Joined
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Messages
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"Yours Truly" Adam Benjamin vs. Ice Tre

DT: Well guys, we're back - and this next matchup involves one of the great technical wrestlers of our time in Adam Benjamin taking on one of the most well...unique wrestlers of our time...Ice Tre.

MN: This guy is an absolute JOKE! Why the hell are his pants so low? They look like they’re about to fall off…

DT: Tre turns his back on his opponent to go the ropes and hype up the fans… but that proves to be a mistake as Adam Benjamin NAILS him in the back of the head with a running elbow and proceeds to ram him FACE FIRST into the cage wall!

DM: Nearly knocked all the fake gold teeth out of that wigger’s mouth.

DT: Benjamin grabs Ice Tre around the waist, and this looks like a suplex attempt, but Ice Tre hangs onto the cage for dear life! NO! Benjamin RIPS HIM AWAY and PASTES him into the mat with the German Suplex! Adam on his feet again… quickly drops the ELBOW into the sternum, and rolls over for the pin!

One!

Two!

Oh NO! Ice Tre BARELY kicks out before the three! We were THAT CLOSE to a textbook squash match!

MN: Don’t count your eggs before they hatch, Dave. Two more minutes in the ring, and Ice Tre will need to leave in a stretcher…

DM: Benji pries a nearly dead Ice Tre off the mat… hoists him up onto his shoulder, DRIVES HIM DOWN onto his knee with a driving Shoulderbreaker! Now we see Tre rolling around on the mat in pain…

MN: Pathetic…

DT: Ice Tre slowly pushing himself up to his feet… but Benjamin quickly hits the ropes, and NAILS Tre in the face with a low-angle Dropkick to the face! Adam isn’t pulling any punches here tonight…

DM: It seems as though he’s grown bored with punishing Tre, as Benji goes to the opposite cage wall and begins to climb to the top!

DT: This could be it! Benjamin is nearly halfway up the cage wall… but Ice Tre is slowly making his way to his feet using the turnbuckle as support, and now he sees what’s happening!

MN: Does he understand that this entire match is “whack, y’all”?

DM: Benjamin’s near the top, but Tre quickly jumps onto the cage wall an begins shaking it mercilessly! Benji LOSES HIS FOOTING! Now he’s dangling from the top of the cage by his fingertips!

DT: Will Adam Benjamin’s grip last? Ice Tre moves beneath him and looks to climb up after him…

DM: NO!! Benjamin loses his grip and FALLS ON TOP OF ICE TRE!!

DT: MY GOD!! ICE TRE WAS JUST CRUSHED INTO THE MAT under the fall of Adam Benjamin, and to be perfectly honest, it seems as though he’s done more damage to HIMSELF than to Adam Benjamin!

MN: You’ve gotta be kidding me! Ice Tre sucks so much at this sport, he hurts HIMSELF more than his opponents with his own moves!

DT: Benjamin is the first to get to his feet, shaking off the fall, which was broken by Ice Tre. Adam gets his opponent to his feet… WHIPS him into the turnbuckle! Benjamin rushes in with a shoulder block… but Ice Tre, unable to stand under his own power, FALLS OUT OF THE WAY as Benjamin goes shoulder-first into the turnbuckle!

DM: Benjamin recoils in pain… falling back into Ice Tre, who in surprise, rolls back and finds himself with BENJAMIN PINNED!

DT: The referee rushes through the door into the ring…

ONE!

TWO!!

NO!! Near three-count as Adam Benjamin muscles out of the surprise pin from Ice Tre.

DM: Benjamin and Ice Tre are up in an instant! Benjamin steps up with a clothesline… Tre NARROWLY ducks!

DT: Tre off the ropes… BIG CROSS BODY BLOCK ACROSS THE CHEST OF ADAM BENJAMIN!!

MN: Where the hell did THAT come from?!

DT: Ice Tre is back on his feet, and he is getting this crowd on his side! Look at him play to the fans!

DM: Awful lot of showboating, if you ask me…

MN: Awful lot of STUPIDITY in the audience, if you ask ME!

DT: Tre goes to the corner and… he’s MOONWALKING?!

MN: Jesus Christ, I don’t know how much more of this I can take…

DT: The audience is loving every moment of this, but… Adam Benjamin is already on his feet, standing with his hands on his hips, ready for the match to continue! And now Ice Tre is doing the ROBOT!!

[The audience laughs hysterically.]

DM: I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

MN: That’s it, I’m out of here.

DT: What? Mike, where the hell do you think YOU’RE going?

MN: I’m going to that burger joint across the street. You guys need anything?

DT: What? No!

DM: Two cheeseburgers and a coke.

MN: Got it.

[A click is heard as Mike Neely drops his headset. Cameras catch him walking around the ring, making an effort to look at the spectacle in the ring, and disappears up the ramp.]

DT: I don’t believe it…

DM: I’m almost tempted to follow him.

DT: Ladies and gentlemen, Mike Neely has LEFT the commentary table, after… well, I suppose it’s in DISGUST of what he’s seeing here tonight.

DM: He’s not missing much… Ice Tre is… oh my God, NOT THE MACARENA!!

DT: HE IS!! ICE TRE IS WHIPPING OUT THE MACARENA—OH NO, ADAM BENJAMIN JUST SACKS HIM FROM BEHIND with a CLOTHESLINE to the back of the head!

DM: Thank God that’s over… I’m CONVINCED I lost brain cells over that.

DT: Adam Benjamin pulls Ice Tre back off the mat and hooks him… BIG BRAINBUSTER SUPLEX!!

DM: That’s gotta be it…

DT: Benjamin hooks the leg for a cover…

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE—OH NO, ICE TRE KICKS OUT!!

DM: Man, I don’t believe it. I can’t tell if this is just Adam Benjamin’s inability to get the job done, or maybe…

DT: What, maybe Ice Tre deserves much credit than what he’s given?

DM: Don’t go there, Dave. Benji’s just having a bad night. That’s the only explanation.

DT: Adam Benjamin brings Ice Tre back off the mat… there’s the whip to the ropes, and Adam goes for a BACK BODY DROP—NO!! Telegraphs it too soon, and Ice Tre gets off the kick to the face! Benjamin reels back… and Tre goes for a chop across the chest! A SECOND chop, and Adam’s set up against the ropes!

DM: Could Ice Tre be turning this one around?

DT: Ice Tre turns back to the audience and points to his fist… he’s really got them on his side in this one!

DM: Uhm, they’re LAUGHING at him, Dave. That’s hardly what I’d call support…

DT: Ice Tre rushes at Benjamin with a closed fist—NO!! Benjamin rolls out of the way, and Ice Tre connects FACE FIRST into the steel cage!

DM: Watch Benji off the ropes…

DT: Ice Tre is standing square in the middle of the ring holding his hand in pain… Adam returns off the ropes—SHINING WIZARD!! KNEE LIFT STRAIGHT TO THE FACE, and Ice Tre is OUT!

DM: FINALLY! Adam’s going in for the kill…

DT: Benjamin moves to the far corner anticipating Ice Tre’s recovery… and… well, I guess that last one really did the trick! Ice Tre is out COLD!

DM: I’m surprised it didn’t come sooner…

DT: Looks like Adam is done waiting… he hooks Ice Tre’s leg for the pin!

DM: This should be it!

DT: The ref hurries into the ring…

ONE!

TWO!

OH WAIT NO!! ICE TRE GOT HIS FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!!

DM: WHAT?! Are you sure…?

DT: I don’t know HOW he managed to do that! I’m telling you, folks, it looks like Ice Tre is practically DEAD in the ring!

DM: Benjamin needs to finish this already…

DT: Ice Tre finally showing signs of life, and Adam waits for him to rise…

DM: ……………

DT: …………….

DM: ……………

DT: …………….

DM: ………I wonder where my cheeseburgers are.

DT: Well, so much for waiting. Ice Tre, only managing to get to his hands and knees, looks like he’s gone about as far as he can go. Adam Benjamin is heading for the door, and what looks to be the next round for the King of the Cage tournament!

DM: Good riddance. Ice Tre isn’t worth another second of his time.

DT: But oh wait! Adam looks back and sees Ice Tre up on his knees, and now he’s TAUNTING HIM!!

[Ice Tre moves around in the ring on his knees, attention fixated mostly on the audience, making weird motions with his hands and mouth that look like he’s sipping tea. The way he holds his hands and nose up slightly would lead one to believe he’s mocking the typical Englishman.]

DM: That won’t go well with our viewers over the pond…

DT: I don’t believe this! In spite of having his ASS KICKED at the hands of Adam Benjamin, Ice Tre is openly MOCKING his English heritage!

DM: Not a good move. We all know how proud Adam Benjamin is to be English. How he takes pride in that, I can’t say, but he does take that personally…

DT: Benjamin looks furious… the referee on the outside has opened up the cage door, but Benjamin is turning back to the ring! He’s going to give Ice Tre something to remember!

DM: Bah… you know, this match just past the five minute mark. That’s WAY too long for the kind of talent we’ve got in the ring…

DT: Benjamin and Tre lock up… and Adam with a BIG KNEE to the gut gains the advantage! He grabs Ice Tre by the arm… there’s the whip to the ropes… BIG SUPERKICK TO THE FACE!! Ice Tre goes REELING into the corner—and falls THROUGH THE ROPES—and OH MY GOD, HE TUMBLES THROUGH THE CAGE DOOR!!!

DM: WHAAAAAT?!

[The audience unloads a synchronized “WTF?!” Adam Benjamin’s eyes nearly bulge out of his head.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen… here is your winner, ICE TREEEEEE!!!!

DT: I don’t believe it…

DM: You know something, Dave… I’ve seen a LOT of crazy crap happen in this sport… but I have NEVER seen anything as ****ed up as that!

DT: My God, WHAT AN UPSET!! Adam Benjamin, after physically DOMINATING the entire match, cost it by inadvertently kicking his OPPONENT OUT OF THE CAGE!!

DM: I didn’t see that coming…

[Benjamin, furious, argues with the ref for a few moments. When the referee tells him the decision can’t be reversed, Adam Benjamin storms off up the rampway. Passing by him is an unsuspecting Mike Neely, coming back with a bag of fastfood. He registers Benjamin momentarily and shrugs, heading back to the commentary table.]

DT: I don’t think Adam is happy with that decision one bit…

DM: You think? The winner of this match is lying UNCONSCIOUS at the bottom of the steel steps outside of the cage!

DT: Mike… welcome back.

MN: Sup, toads? What’d I miss?

[We hear wrappers rustling.]

DM: No pickle?

DT: You missed Ice Tre moving on to the next round.

MN: …what?

DT: Don’t ask me how, it JUST happened.

MN: …I don’t believe you, Dave. You’re just messing with my head again. And let me tell you, I DON’T appreciate that.

[Over commentary, we can hear Dean Matthews eating.]

DM: How much do I owe you, Mike?

MN: Five bucks?

DT: Wait a minute… I’m getting word right now that Adam Benjamin has gone straight to new owner Irish Red’s office!

MN: About what?

DT: I don’t know, but I’m sure it has something to do with the outcome of… oh wait, I’m getting word… yes, it appears as though the management has granted Adam Benjamin a shot at the INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE in response to his efforts in tonight’s match!

DM [mouthful of burger]: Murh mumble brr murble?

MN: Wha, did he take a bullet for the President or something?

DT: Well, it looks like Adam Benjamin won’t walk away from this faux pas empty handed… but you still have to wonder if Ice Tre will continue to fail upwards through the King of the Cage tournament.

DM: We can only hope that never happens…​
 

DBrunkGXW

Consigliere
Joined
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Messages
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Proposal - plus - MAIN EVENT: "Sensational" Steven Shane vs. Irishred

[Steven Shane is seen walking backstage right before his match. Suddenly, his progress is impeded by none other than his opponent for the evening, Irishred. Irishred has a fresh bandage on his head from the attack earlier in the night.]

Shane: You might want to get the hell out of my way.

Red: Whoa, take it easy there, Shaner. I know you’re not the happiest of men right now and I'm not either, but I’m wanting to change that.

Shane: Oh? And how is that, boss?

Red: Look, I know that you’re not happy with Ryan’s decision earlier tonight. Quite frankly, you shouldn’t be.

You put your ass on the line and took me to the very edge for him.

And what does he give you in return?

A certificate that says you’re now a member of the “Dan Ryan Kiss my Ass Club”.

Shane: This isn’t making me happier.

Red: Of course not. Give me a second though.

You see, with the team of you, Anarky, and Freeman working against me, I’m really not as powerful as I should be seeing as how I “own” this company.

Shane: Right.

Red: So, what I’m offering to you is the chance to actually get the power that you deserve.

I recognize your power, Shane. I know that the man that took me to the limit week after week isn’t someone who should be working under someone. And especially not that Anarky fool.

So what I’m doing right now is giving you a business proposition. Call it a partnership, if you will.

Shane: Let’s get one thing straight here, Fred.

Dan Ryan pissed me off beyond all belief earlier tonight.

And right now, I could probably rip his head off.

But regardless of that, Dan Ryan has given me opportunities that no one else ever has. And once this whole thing settles down, I imagine that everything between he and I will be back to normal.

Nothing is going to make me lose the respect that I have for that man. And respect is asset number one in my book. So quite frankly, I’m not even thinking about crossing the boss.

And I damn sure am not going to do it with you and your help.

[Shane steps past Red and continues down the hall as Red looks back while the camera fades out.]

DT: Well guys, we have certainly had one HELL of a first round of matches here for the King of the Cage tourney.

DM: Absolutely right, Dave. And now, it all culminates here with our main event.

DT: The announcement at the power switch segment at the beginning of the show certainly shook the world, but quite possibly, none more than the world of “Sensational” Steven Shane. But now, Irishred wants a partnership after taking that beating?

DM: It was truly a blow to The Sensational One. He seemed really poised to take over as the balance of power for Dan Ryan, but he was upended by someone that hasn’t even been here in EPW before. I know he's angry right now, but I just can't see him turning on Ryan for Irishred.

DT: Well, if it had to be anyone to upend Steven Shane, it would be Anarky. I’m certainly intrigued as to what he’s going to bring to the table as he tries to balance out Irishred’s power here in EPW.

[CUE UP: “Bad Company” by Bad Company.]

[On the screen, the name Irishred in blood red is shown across six four leaf clovers. As Music starts red and green pinpoint spots crisscross the arena and track Irishred as he walks down the ramp. Green cloverleaf spot on center of the ring as Irishred enters, stands with his head back and closed fists touching each other in front of his chest. When he spreads his arms wide the cloverleaf turns to red. The "Red-Heads" of course goes crazy at this point.]

DT: Well guys, what is your opinion on the new owner of EPW?

MN: Are you kidding? This guy ran the greatest thing that wrestling has ever seen out of EPW’s position of power. I don’t want to be on his bad side.

DM: For some reason, I thought you would say that, Neels. I, personally, can’t stand this cocky SOB. He thinks that he’s the cat’s meow for taking down Dan Ryan, but I say that even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while. This one just happened to find it right before he starved to death. I hope Steven Shane puts him in his place tonight for his mentor, Dan Ryan.

[CUE UP: “Damn” by Fabolous.]

[Pyro explodes and Steven Shane makes his way out from behind the curtain. His robe drags the ground as he makes his way down the ramp and to the ring. He prepares to enter the cage and removes his robe before handing it down to the prop guy beside him. Shane then enters the cage. Shane stares across the ring at IrishRed as the referee keeps them both at arm’s length. He then pulls his hands together.]

[DING DING DING]

DT: Ladies and gentlemen, here we go. This is the final match of the King of the Cage that we will see here tonight, but there’s still plenty more to come! Who will be entering the cage again next week? We’ll find out right now!

DM: The two men step to the middle of the ring and they’re standing nose to nose!

DT: The tension is ridiculous in here! These two aren’t even budging! They have such a hatred built up after the past few encounters that they’ve had. But after tonight’s announcement, I’m sure that they have even more hatred tonight!

DM: And Steven Shane delivers the first blow! A right hand!

DT: But Red fights back with one his own!

DM: But Shane fires back!

DT: And so does Red!

DM: Shane swings!

DT: But Red blocks it! Red with another right hand! And another! He backs Steven Shane into the ropes. There’s an Irish whip…

DM: HUGE clothesline there by Irishred!

DT: Red doesn’t waste anytime as he pulls Shane back up to his feet. He grabs him by the back of the head…

DM: And slams Shane face-first into the steel!

DT: Shane bounces off. He turns around to face Irishred…

DM: Big DDT by the owner of EPW!

DT: Red quickly bounces off the ropes…

DM: Big knee drop right to the face of Steven Shane!

DT: And now Irishred locks Shane in rear naked choke. Shane is trying to fight his way out of it here, but he was certainly met with a cement mixer of intensity named Irishred to start this match.

DM: But Shane is not going to let this little bit of adversity overcome him here. He quickly uses his hips to roll himself up and get some upward pressure to allow himself to stand up vertically with Irishred.

DT: There’s an elbow to the midsection. Followed by another. Irishred releases the hold and swings a right hand at Shane…

DM: But Shane ducks the blow and nails Irishred with a low blow!

MN: It’s all legal in the cage!

DT: Absolutely right, Neels. And now, Steven Shane is the one with the upperhand as he hovers over the doubled Irishred. Shane quickly hits the ropes…

DM: And a big knee lift that sends Irishred flying backwards.

DT: Shane quickly leaps over the fallen Irishred and hits the ropes. He rebounds…

DM: And now an elbow drop!

DT: Shane makes his way back to his feet and now heads toward the cage door. The referee on the outside opens it up as Shane leans toward the ropes…

DM: But Red pulls him back in!

DT: Shane turns to deliver a right hand, but Irishred blocks the shot!

DM: And Red nails him with a right of his own!

DT: Red quickly whips Shane across the ring and into the opposite corner. Red follows in…

DM: Big knee to the midsection by Red!

DT: Red quickly grabs hold of Shane in a front facelock before leaping to the second rope…

DM: Tornado DDT by Irishred! Steven Shane went flying across the ring there!

DT: And now Irishred is climbing right back up in the corner. He ascends to the top rope and turns back to the middle of the ring…

DM: Cold Shot! Irishred just nailed Steven Shane with that knee to the kidneys from the top rope!

DT: Steven Shane could be out of it right here, right now!

MN: And Red knows that! He’s heading for the side of the cage!

DT: Indeed, Irishred is scaling the side of the cage here as he attempts to exit this cage to move on in the King of the Cage tournament!

DM: Red steps up to the top rope and now clinching hold of the top of the cage.

DT: He’s just looking for his footing now as he tries for that next step…

DM: But there’s Steven Shane! Clubbing forearm to the back of Irishred!

DT: And now Red turns to face Shane. Shane grabs hold of Red by the legs…

MN: And look at the terror on Red’s face!

DM: Oh my God! Steven Shane just gave Irishred a spinebuster from the top rope! Irishred bounced off the mat like a superball!

DT: It took a little out of Shane too, as he is slow to his feet here. However, he is up now and makes his way over to Irishred. He grabs hold of Red’s leg…

DM: And a vicious kick to the back of the knee! Excellent strategy here, softening that knee up for the California Clutch!

MN: And it’s extremely hard for a crippled man to climb a cage!

DT: Excellent point, Neels. Shane now lifts up that leg and drives repeated kicks to the back of that knee.

DM: And Irishred is howling in pain here as Shane continues to kick that knee!

DT: Shane now reaches down and pulls Red back up to his feet.

DM: HARD knife-edge chop!

Crowd: Whoo!

DM: And another!

Crowd: Whoo!

DT: Shane now has Red back in the ropes. He whips him across the ring…

DM: Big tilt-o-whirl backbreaker by Shane!

DT: And now, Shane is going to be the one that tries to scale the cage. He makes his way to the corner and pulls himself to the top rope. He reaches up and pulls him to the top of the cage!

DM: But here comes Irishred! He has him by the foot and Shane can’t go anywhere!

DT: Shane is trying to shake him off, but Red holds onto that foot and refuses to let go!

DM: And now Red is climbing up the ropes!

DT: He reaches up… and nails Shane with a right hand! Red reaches up and pulls himself even with Shane!

DM: And now they both stand up! The top of that cage is only about a foot wide! There’s nowhere to go but down!

DT: And the right hands are flying! These two are showing no remorse for the other! They are going right back and forth here and one of these men, if not both, could be seriously injured here!

DM: And don’t look now, but Steven Shane is getting the better of Irishred here. He has the owner wobbling…

DT: But Red ducks a right by Shane!

MN: Look out!

DT: Steven Shane almost lost his balance there and almost ate some concrete! Red catches Shane with an uppercut…

DM: And now Red hurls Shane off the top of the cage and to the mat! Steven Shane just crashed to the mat like a sack of potatoes! He’s motionless on the canvas!

DT: And now all Red has to do is climb out of the cage! This one is over!

DM: Wait! Red isn’t climbing down! What the hell is he going to do?

DT: Red looks out to the crowd. Good God! What is he going to do? He sizes up Steven Shane…

DM: OH MY GOD! Irishred just leapt off the top of the cage and came crashing down onto Steven Shane with an amazing elbow drop!

MN: But he took it out of himself too! There’s no way to slow yourself down OR let your opponent absorb the entire blow!

DT: And now, both men are down in the middle of the ring! It’s a foot race to the finish and neither man is making any progress!

DM: These two have just been broken in half from falls off the top of that cage. The referee might have to declare this one a draw because neither of them can move!

DT: Don’t look now Dean, but Irishred is on the mat, stirring around. He’s slowly trying to roll himself to his stomach to use his arms to help elevate him to his feet.

MN: He’s still got a lot way to go. His elbow might be dislocated from that drop.

DM: Absolutely right, but I don’t think that’s going to stop Irishred if he’s going to try and actually get up here.

DT: Well, Red manages to pull his knees underneath him as he shakes free those cobwebs. That fall really took a lot out of him

DM: But it took even more out of Steven Shane. Shane is still down on the mat.

MN: And he’s not moving. We might need EMTs.

DT: Well, Irishred is slowly to one knee here. He just has to plant that foot and press upward and he has this match won.

DM: And he does! Irishred falls back into the ropes to keep himself up. He just has to gather himself and he can get out of the cage and win this match!

DT: He yells over to the referee on the outside to open the door, and he does. Less than ten feet stand between Irishred and victory here as he tries to pull himself toward the door.

DM: And Shane is still down. He’s stirring, but he’ll never catch up to Irishred. This one is in the books.

DT: And now, Red slowly uses the ropes to pull himself toward the door. He continues to creep as he closes that gap.

MN: And again, there’s no hope for Shane. He’s too far gone, even though he’s almost to his knees.

DT: Irishred is almost there. He’s about a foot and half away.

DM: And now he closes in.

DT: He leans through the ropes…

DM: GOOD GOD! Was that?

DT: It was! Dan Ryan just came out of nowhere and slammed that steel cage door shut on Irishred’s head! Red tumbles back into the ring!

DM: What the hell is Ryan doing out here?

DT: Apparently, he’s showing Irishred that he is not going to make this power trip a pleasant one.

MN: Or maybe he’s come to the aid of his number one man, Steven Shane!

DT: Regardless, Irishred is stuck in the corner and bleeding profusely from that steel cutting into his head!

DM: And don’t look now, but Steven Shane is up to one knee!

DT: Red is trying to pull himself up, but he’s delirious in there! He has no clue what he’s doing!

DM: And even though Shane is slowed, he’s still slowly making his way up as he staggers to his feet!

DT: Red sits up now. He looks up and sees the vertical Steven Shane! Red tries to will himself to his feet…

DM: But Shane gets to him first!

DT: There’s a right hand by Shane! And another!

DM: Red swings a right…

DT: But Shane ducks it! He’s now behind Red! Low blow again by Shane! Million Dollar Dream…

DM: And there’s the drop! California Dream! Steven Shane just nailed Irishred with the California Dream!

DT: Irishred is down and now Steven Shane is making a beeline to the cage door!

DM: Shane closes in as he can see Dan Ryan standing behind the door.

DT: Shane hesitates as he looks up at Ryan! Is he going to trust him?!

DM: Dan Ryan pushes the referee out of the way and grabs the door!

DT: He’s opening it for Steven Shane! Shane continues to edge closer to the door…

[DING DING DING]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… “Sensational” Steven Shane!

DT: I don’t believe it! Dan Ryan has helped Steven Shane defeat the new owner right here tonight! He’s screwed Irishred out of his chance in the King of the Cage Tournament!

DM: What the hell?!?! The cage is lifting up already!

MN: I think things are about to get bad for Mr. Owner.

DT: Dan Ryan slides into the ring as the cage continues to lift up! And now Steven Shane follows!

DM: Irishred is cornered here as he finally pulls himself back up to his feet after some help from the ropes.

MN: Turn around Red!

[Red turns around and a look of complete shock fills his face.]

DT: Irishred realizes what he’s up against here and now he has to find a way out of this!

DM: Look out! Shane and Ryan attack!

DT: But Red is fighting them off! Irishred is swinging rights and lefts all over the place as he tries to defend himself here against Steven Shane and the former owner!

DM: And he’s doing a hell of a job! He’s certainly holding his own here as he continues to try and get out of there!

MN: But here come the reinforcements!

DT: It’s Anarky! Anarky is coming to the aid of Shane and Dan Ryan!

DM: And now there’s absolutely no hope for Irishred! It’s three-on-one and these guys are just pummeling him in there!

DT: There’s a right by Anarky!

DM: And now a right from Ryan! Red stumbles toward Shane…

DT: And another California Dream! Steven Shane just took the owner of this company right to the mat with that Million Dollar Dream Drop of his!

DM: And now look at Dan Ryan! He’s hovering right over top of Red! He’s mocking him as he slaps his face back and forth!

DT: Irishred is defenseless! We need some help out here!

DM: Look out, Dave! Here it comes!

DT: It’s Beast! Beast is rushing down to the ring!

DM: Beast slides in and quickly clotheslines Steven Shane over the top rope! Anarky and Ryan quickly bail And as quickly as they entered, they scatter!

DT: Shane, Ryan, and Anarky are certainly happy with themselves here as they look up at Beast, who is checking on Irishred….slamming his fist into the mat after having this happen for the second time TONIGHT!!!

DM: Look at the smiles on their faces!

DT: Folks, the Irishred Era has begun here in EPW, but I don’t think this is the way he wanted to start it! We’re out of time! For Dean Matthews and Mike Neely, I’m Dave Thomas wishing you all a good night and we’ll see you next week!​
 
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