Welcome to FWrestling.com!

You've come to the longest running fantasy wrestling website. Since 1994, we've been hosting top quality fantasy wrestling and e-wrestling content.

AGGRESSION 28: Seattle, WA - 12/12/06

Not open for further replies.


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
(FADE IN: Irishred is seen sitting in the Caribou Lounge in Juneau Alaska, staring at the camera.)

“Dan, you know what I’ve been doing while I sat here in the latest of the world wide ****holes you have sent me to "wrestle"? I've been thinking...I've been thinking about how maybe I’ve been doing this all wrong. Maybe I shouldn't be so harsh to judge you. Maybe you are doing the right things for all the talent.

Then I came to my senses.

I'm right. You're a piece of crap. You are an abusive steaming pile of crap in fact. If I accomplish nothing else in my wrestling career I will rid EPW of your stench. The federation survived before you and it will flourish without you.

After I beat the hell out of your cousin here in Juneau, I'm coming for you Dan. I'm coming to take control once and for all.”


[CUE UP: "Imperial March" - Rage Against the Machine. A video montage plays, featuring smoke-wreathed images of various wrestlers, some of them leaving blurred trails as they move.
CUT TO: Beast nailing the Absolution on Adam Benjamin.
CUT TO: Karl Brown coming off the ropes with a Quebrada.
CUT TO: Steven Shane standing victorious in the ring.
CUT TO: JA delivering the Karelin Driver to Ron Artest
CUT TO: Adam Benjamin delivering a Shining Wizard to Karl Brown.
CUT TO: Joey Melton, mugging for the crowd.
CUT TO: An unhappy IrishRed stomping Wong-Pei.
CUT TO: Lindsay Troy dropkicking Beast.
CUT TO: JA and Sebastian Dodd locking up in the middle of the ring.
CUT TO: Troy Windham, mugging with the Entourage.
CUT TO: Dan Ryan sitting sedately in a chair, staring into the camera.
CUT TO: With a clash of metal, a logo slams across the screen, its edges flickering.]

[Cut to the ramp, where a wreath of pyro explodes around the EmpireTron and several bomblike, smoky explosions ripple about the entry way. The camera zooms in on the screen as the pyro finally peters out, then blurs to roving shots of the roaring crowd as a small banner in the corner briefly appears to proclaim that EPW is broadcast en Espanol.]

[We cut to the broadcast booth where Dave Thomas, Mike Neely and Dean Matthews sit.]

DT: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Seattle, Washington and Empire Pro Wrestling’s Aggression 28!! I’m Dave Thomas and with me as always are the unimitable Dean Matthews and the one and only Mike Neely!

MN: Hey! I’m the uninamatal one!

DM: Uninamatal??

MN: See!! He didn’t get my voice right at all!

DM: Oh brother…

DT: Well fellas, not that this dialogue isn’t amazingly interesting and all but we do have a show to do. And this first match? You know ladies and gentlemen, just when you thought you had seen it all, our fearless owner has done it yet again.

MN: And you know what? I had a great respect for Mr. Ryan prior to all of this, but by God, with the way he’s handling this whole Irishred thing, he may be the smartest man on the face of the planet.

DM: Folks, in case you’ve been under a rock for the past month, EPW Chairman, Dan Ryan, has been very consistent with his booking tendencies. And no one can attest to that more than Irishred. Two weeks ago, Red saw action in Siberia. Last week, it was a freighter in the Norwegian Sea. And now, our satellites are prepared to bring us a live feed from Juneau, Alaska as Irishred gets set to take on Akita, the Ventriloquist Telepath.

DT: Dan Ryan sure does know how to dream ‘em up, doesn’t he?

DM: Beyond a shadow of a doubt, Dave. This has to be one of the most original bookings that professional wrestling has ever seen.

MN: Has to be? I’m willing to wager that it IS the most original booking ever seen.

DT: Well, plans haven’t really worked out that well for Mr. Ryan in these matches, but we’re ready to see how things go now. Folks, join us as we link to Juneau, Alaska via satellite for Irishred and Akita, the Ventriloquist Telepath.


Live From Alaska..
Irishred vs. Akita, the Ventriloquist Telepath

(The camera fades in to show Irishred and Akita standing in the ring. Fire dances in Red’s eyes as he sizes up his opponent. Without any warning, your mind suddenly fills with images of Irishred on his back, the number three, and then Red punching the mat.)

DT: What the hell was that?

MN: I think it’s called, ‘How Irishred is going to lose this match.’

DT: Whatever it was, I’d be more comfortable if I didn’t have to sit through that again.

(The referee looks around as if to shake his head and figure out what just happened as well. He then calls for the bell, which is sounded off nicely by a mumbled gong, thanks to the sheet of ice that is covering the overly large ring bell [apparently, wrestling doesn’t happen everyday in Alaska])

DT: Well, here we go now. Irishred makes his way towards Akita here and looks for a punch, but wait a second, what’s he stopping for?

MN: Is he wiping his ear? He does know that this match is being broadcast across the country even though it’s via satellite, doesn’t he? This isn’t he place for odd grooming habits.

DM: I’m not sure guys. For some reason, I have a feeling that Irishred just received a wet willy… but I can’t be too sure of what I saw, because I’m not sure if I did…

MN: What the hell are you talking about?

DM: I believe that Irishred and I both saw Akita giving him a wet willy, but my eyes and you guys are saying that I didn’t.

MN: This is ridiculous! Do we really have to show this match? If people want a circus show, I believe it’s still going on in Chicago.

DT: Well, we’re going to stick with this one, but I must say that I’m intrigued to see how this works out.

MN: It figures that a weirdo like you would, Thomas.

DT: Irishred appears to be done wiping his ear now. He makes his way towards Akita…

DM: Now what?

MN: Is his hand really digging that far into his rear end? What the hell is wrong with this guy? Is the cold making his hallucinate?

DT: I don’t think so. For some reason, I got the weird vision of Irishred getting a wedgie.

MN: What?!?!

DT: I’m not sure, Neels. But I think that’s why he’s… well, digging.

(The crowd roars with laughter, both in-house and watching at the arena via satellite. Red looks around with a very angry look on his face.)

DT: Well, Red doesn’t look very happy here.

DM: How’s he going to overcome this?

DT: Look out! I think that’s how! Without hesitation, Irishred just plowed right through Akita with that shoulder tackle and now he’s driving right hands into Akita!

MN: Finally! Some wrestling action! I thought I was going to have to go find a bar of soap during the commercial break.

DT: Is Red holding his breast?

DM: I didn’t want to say anything, but on the tackle, I felt the pain of a purple nurple coming into my brain for some reason, but it stopped shortly after.

DT: So it’s not quite purple?

DM: No, more like a light shade of reddish-pink.

MN: What are you idiots talking about?!?!

DT: We’re talking about the action we’re watching here on the monitor. Are you not paying attention, Neels?

MN: Of course I am! But you two are going to have to share your stuff if you want me to see the things you morons are seeing.

DT: Well, right now, I’m seeing Irishred pulling up Akita and driving right hands into his head. Are you seeing that, Neels?

MN: Yes, but let’s see what Smokey over here is seeing.

DM: If you’re referring to me, I’m seeing the same thing you guys are.

MN: Ha! Must be some weak stuff if you’ve stopped seeing stuff already.

DT: Folks, I apologize. Back to the action here. Red drives another right into Akita’s temple here before whipping him across the ring. Red follows him into the corner…

DM: Big clothesline there!

DT: Red now sits Akita up on the top rope. What’s he going to do up there?

MN: Hopefully continue wrestling…

DM: He calls that ’25 or 6 to 4’! What a Samoan drop off the top rope there!

DT: Red makes the pin here…



DM: What the? Why did the ref stop counting?

DT: Well, I thought that I saw Akita’s shoulder come up off the mat, but it still appears to be there on the ground.

DM: Well, Irishred is certainly confused. Look at him staring a hole through the referee!

DT: I didn’t realize the type of challenge that Irishred had on his hands here. It’s going to be amazing for him to actually pull out this match.

MN: And I didn’t realize the kooks that I was working with until just now. Anybody seen the want ads from today’s newspaper?

DT: Well, Red is going to do his best to pull this one out as he begins laying the boots to Akita here. It seems as though he can control Akita’s abilities by keeping the attack on him.

DM: And he’s going to do just that as he pulls Akita back up here. He steps under Akita’s arm now.

DT: Black Water! Irishred just nailed Akita with that Full Nelson Slam!

DM: But Red is taking no chances of Akita working his way back into this match. He pulls him right back up again.

DT: Smart offense here by Irishred. He lays a few rights into Akita before pulling that arm between his legs.

DM: Bad Company! Red with that fall-away pumphandle slam! There’s the cover…



DT: Look at the power of Akita! He just pressed Irishred right off of him.

DM: I don’t think so, Dave.

DT: What? But he-

MN: Anyone have a straight jacket?

DT: Neels, I swear that I saw it.

MN: I know, I know. I saw it too…

DT: Dean, did you?

DM: Sorry, Dave.

DT: Well, I hope that you can both see Irishred stomping the hell out of Akita again here.

DM: We can.

DT: Good, then I’ll tell everyone about the velocity with which he just whipped Akita into that corner. A few more stomps as he lifts him to the top rope yet again…

DM: Whipping Post! Irishred with that piledriver from the top rope!

DT: And now he grabs Akita by the legs! This could be it…

DM: It is! Freebird! Red has it locked in…


DT: What the? Why did the ref call for the bell?

MN: Beats the hell out of me. I didn’t see a tap.

DM: Umm… I think I did.

DT: Are you kidding me? Thank God this match is over.

DM: Wait a second! Irishred is going to the outside of the ring! What’s he getting that chair for?

DT: Look out! He’s going to beat the hell out of Akita, that’s what! Damnit! Someone stop this monster!

MN: I don’t even see why he’s mad. He got a free win because I don’t think Akita tapped out. If anything, he should be shaking some hands.

DM: Well, he’s not! He’s tearing into Akita here with that chair! Damnit!

(Red finally stops and gets up in the camera’s face [I guess cameras have faces…])

IR: Ryan! I’m tired of this crap! We’re going to settle this damn thing right now!

(Red takes off and out of the ring. As he leaves, the shot goes to Akita, who is prone on the ground. Suddenly, thoughts of Irishred with his mouth around a rooster fills your mind.)

MN: Holy crap! Did you see that?

DT: We did! I can’t believe that Irishred would stoop to this just to send a message.

MN: That’s not what I’m talking about!

DM: If you’re referring to what Red meant about settling things right now, I’m as lost as you.

MN: That’s not it either!

DT: Folks, we’re going to take a break and get back to the in-arena action while we also try to figure out what Neels is talking about.

MN: You didn’t see that? I think Akita just told us all that Irishred is a co-

DT: OKAY!! SO ANYWAY….weeeeee’ll be right back after this….


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
DT: We’re back in Seattle and up next we have a rematch from last week between “Phenomenal” Frankie Scott and the female Phenom herself, Nakita Dahaka.

DM: Yeah, last week Scott was really as a handicap due to his physical condition so this week I look forward to seeing more of the real Frankie Scott in there against Dahaka – and it’s a chance for her to continue her impressive opening streak of wins here in EPW.

DT: Let’s go up to the ring for Tony Fatora!!


"PHENOMENAL" Frankie Scott vs. "the Dark Phenom" Nakita Dahaka

TONY FATORA: Th’ following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a fifteen minute time limit. Introducing first…

[CUE UP: “Gently” by Slipknot, as, through thick fog and flames, “The Dark Phenom” and her manager make their way onto the rampway]

TONY FATORA: Hailing from Phoenix, Arizona, and weighing in at one hundred, eighty five pounds… accompanied by her manager, Delilah Demonik, she is the Dark Phenom… NAKITA... DA-HAKA!

DT: She managed the win last time on Aggression, but Frankie Scott, her opponent again tonight, was running a high fever and that surely played a huge part in his loss.

MN: And his stupidity later that night, challenging Evers or Hart to a match.

DM: He’s nicely rested tonight though, so I don’t think Nakita’s going to have it as much her own way this time.

TONY FATORA: And the opponent…

[CUE UP: “Phenomenon” by Thousand Foot Krutch, as Frankie Scott steps out to a very good reaction from the crowd, letting the smoke clear a little before walking to the ring]

TONY FATORA: He hails from Atlanta, Georgia, and weighs in at two hundred and forty two pounds… Phenomenal… FRANKIE… SCOTT!!

MN: That should be germ carrying disease bag, with his finisher, the Sneeze of Death!

DT: I must admit that was a disgusting turn of events, but it could have been worse.

MN: Only if he’d puked up!

DM: Which would still have been worse.

DT: Deliliah Demonik giving Nakita some last minute instructions out there, and there’s the bell! Circling each other, Nakita very quickly stepping with a go behind, but Scott with the reversal, taking her down into an armbar! Nakita pulling her arm out of it though, both back up, and a hard forearm to the side of the head by Nakita!


DM: Delilah directing traffic as Nakita just launches a flurry of kicks, sending Scott back against the ropes. Nakita backing up, charging in SCOTT BEHIND! Roll up!!

DT: One!!


Kickout at two by Nakita.

MN: No way it’s going to end that early.

DT: Dahaka back to her feet though, as Scott quickly applies a side headlock! Nakita Dahaka trying to pull Frankie Scott to the ropes, but look how he’s sitting in low! Takes her down with a headlock take down, and look at him grinding away on the neck!

MN: The filthy swine!

DT: Not like that, Mike. I swear sometimes it’s like working with a fourteen year old.

DM: No, fourteen year olds know more about sex than Mike does.


DM: Family show.

MN: … beeper beeping beep.

DT: Well, Mike’s practicing to be an android, and Nakita Dahaka’s having trouble trying to get back to her feet – she’s turned in, trying to get up, but Frankie Scott wrenching on the neck.

DM: He’s not going to win the match like that, but he’ll definitely wear her out.


DT: No, Mike.

MN: hmm.

DT: Scott bringing Nakita back to her feet, switching round to a hammerlock! Dahaka trying to fight her way round the back, but the Phenomenal one with a hard forearm to the kidneys! Kick to the back of the knee, Scott off the ropes… BULLDOG takedown!!



NO! So far though this has been all Frankie Scott, a far cry from last time on Aggression. This is the Frankie Scott we’ve come to expect.

DM: But that shot to the gut from Dahaka’s going to slow him down.

DT: Shot to the face by the Dark Phenom… handstand?

DM: Handstand headscissors.

DT: Going for a takedown… NO!!



Kickout!! HUGE running knee lift as Scott tried to get to his feet, and THAT was some impressive gymnastics from Nakita, going from the handstand, pushing herself up and over the shoulders of Frankie Scott, using her legs for leverage, and dropping down behind him for the sunset flip! And with that rather complicated manoeuvre, she’s in control. Picking him up after the knee, and some stiff kicks there! Kick to the gut, and a nice snapmare takedown, and a dropkick to the back of the head!

DT: Nakita’s got a lot of strength for someone her size, but as she’s shown, sometimes speed and agility count a lot more.

MN: No way! Strength and power is where it’s at!

DM: Then tell me why our Intercontinental and World Heavyweight champions have a combined weight of less than four hundred pounds, and the heavier of them is two hundred and eleven pounds?

DT: He’s got you there, Mike. Nakita Dahaka continuing the offence, dropping the elbow after a flurry of stomps. Going for the cover,



Kickout just after two by Scott, as Nakita brings him back to his feet by the hair. A stiff right hand there, sends Scott off the ropes, and a dropkick to the knee! Did you see how Frankie Scott spun in the air there?!

DM: Always a painful way to get taken down. I’ve had that happen to me a couple of times, and I’m not surprised he’s holding his knee, it’s very dangerous and could potentially rupture or break something.

DT: And if that doesn’t then this might! Nakita Dahaka with Scott’s leg over her neck in a Stretch Muffler!

DM: Also known as an Argentine leglock, this hold is using Scott’s weight to stretch the knee and thigh – it’s a very painful hold by default. Hurts bigger men more, but Scott can’t even get to the ropes.

MN: Then how’s the disease-bag going to get out of this?

DM: Whenever Nakita lets him go.

DT: Just listen to him screaming in pain out there! His face is twisted!

DM: This move hurts, I just told you that. The only saving grace is it can be tough to keep someone in it too long.

DT: Then he’s just got to wait?

DM: Or do that!

DT: Amazing feat of agility there by Scott this time! He managed to turn himself over and connected with a headscissors take down! He’s holding his knee on the canvas, but the spin there took Nakita to the outside! She doesn’t look too much worse for wear, more so shocked.

DM: Scott’s not known for his agility as much as his grappling, and who can forget the power he showed against Evers and Sergeant a few months back? But that was a very good counter to the Argentine leglock, I’ve never thought of trying that one.

DT: Nakita sliding quickly back into the ring, going after Scott, stomping on the knee. Picking Frankie Scott up by the hair, grabbing the leg… legbuster, down across the knee!
Going for the cover, hooking the far leg


Thno!! Frankie Scott with the authoritative kickout! Do you think she hooked the wrong leg there, Dean?

DM: It makes more sense to hook the good leg, and she didn’t. Gave him enough power left to still kick out.

DT: Dahaka with the pickup again, but a hard shove by Scott! Dahaka coming back in, but gets taken down with a power hiptoss! Frankie Scott into the cover



TNO!! Nakita Dahaka way too fresh to be pinned just like that.

MN: Naturally. She’s hot dammit!

DM: I’m surprised he hasn’t rushed the ring to be honest, two beautiful women who could kick his ass and he’s still here.

MN: I do have some control you know.

DM: Good. The smell gets horrible after a while after you’ve wet yourself.

MN: I’m so going to go to Dan about the bullying that goes on back here, don’t think I won’t!

DT: Frankie Scott is in control here though, stopping Nakita from regaining control by slugging her there with a right hand before she got to her feet!

MN: I dunno, smacking a woman when she’s down.

DT: This is wrestling, Mike. Frankie Scott with Nakita up, and a hard slam in the corner! Frankie Scott still holding the knee as he climbs to the second rope… drops the elbow! The cover




DM: He’s got to be a bit quicker here, he’s taking a long time with his knee.

DT: Scott still with the advantage though, picking Dahaka up and throwing her back into the corner. Driving the elbow to the side of the head, Irish whip, reversed! Frankie Scott hitting hard in the corner, Nakita Dahaka charging in… MISSES! Frankie Scott moves out of the way, small package as Nakita stumbles out of the corner





[SFX: dingdingdingding]

TONY FATORA: Th’ winner of the match, Phenomenal FRANKIE… SCOTT!!

DT: Frankie Scott pulls out a quick win with a small package

MN: tee-hee!

DT: Frankie Scott getting his hand raised in victory, and I swear Mike needs his head examined. Scott celebrating in the ring – what’s Delilah doing?

DM: Delilah Demonik sliding in to the ring with a chair, looks like she’s

DT: NO! Frankie Scott just turned round and Delilah stops in her tracks. She’s got the chair still in hand though, talking to Scott… DRAGON SUPLEX BY NAKITA!! NAKITA DAHAKA WITH A DRAGON SUPLEX ON FRANKIE SCOTT AFTER THE BELL!


DT: Nakita picking Scott up… DRAGON SNAP!! DRAGON SNAP!! Nakita Dahaka falling backwards and wrapping her legs around Scott’s waist… someone stop this!

MN: NO! Leave that disease carrying vermin to get what he deserves for sneezing at her last time.

DT: Referee’s coming down, as Demonik is egging Dahaka on… finally they pry her off! What was she thinking?

DM: Getting some payback for losing like that?

DT: Delilah and Nakita backing up the rampway – look at that smile on Delilah’s face!

MN: And Nakita couldn’t look any further from that, she’s such a killing machine!

DM: She didn’t win the match, but she is the one standing tall right now.

[CUTTO: The ring, where Frankie Scott, being helped up by officials, is staring fiercely at the two women]

DT: I don’t think this one is over by a long shot.


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
(FADE IN: Irishred is seen at the Juneau International Airport and House of Pancakes. He is at a ticket counter and quite upset.)

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY TICKET WAS CANCELLED? Listen you nose rubbing, blubber eating, seal pup beating jackass. I am getting on that plane. I am getting on that ****ing plane and flying to Seattle. I have business to attend to and you will not be stopping me.

(Two large men in severe suits and matching sunglasses appear behind Irishred. He turns to look at them.)

“Oh great...it's two little boys who obviously answered the ad in the back of their comic books and got that special Dan Ryan Bodybuilding kit for only three easy installments of $19.99. So tell me boys did your scrotums suck all the ways up to your belly buttons after the 4th or 5th injection.”

(Irishred is enveloped by the two men and led away kicking and screaming the whole way.

The next scene is Irishred standing outside of the Juneau International Airport and House of Pancakes. He is disheveled and very upset.)

“No wonder we only get to wrestle once every four months freaking Ryan has half of the US population on the freaking payroll. Commies all of you! Bastards!”

(A small man approaches Irishred. He is dressed in a parka and is eating what seems to be a whole fish...raw and quite odifourous.)

Man: "Say there whitey...you need a ride?"

Irishred: “Listen...don't mess with me. I'm serious. I've had enough of this backwater hole. I'm about ready to go postal on the whole place.”

Man: "You Mr. Irishred right whitey? You be looking to get rid of that there Dan Ryan fella. He come in here a month ago flashing money and insulting all of us. I told him what to do with that money. I told him where he could stick it. He didn't take to that real kindly...but the doc says he got all of the bills out of my...umm...cavity in that third surgery."

Irishred: “Way too much information here man.”

Man: "Listen...I got me a plane and can fly you to Seattle Whitey. I can be a big help for you. No charge...you just bend that Dan Ryan over and give him a good bit of ass ****ing courtesy of me Mr. Jomo."

Irishred: “You have a plane? You can fly? Well listen here Jomo...you just got yourself a client. You get me to Seattle pronto.”

Man: "No problem Whitey...I'll get you there no problem. Mr. Jomo got a special delivery for some friends."


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
Camera fades into the backstage area. Kenny Lombardo walks into the shot, holding a torn piece of paper. Kenny looks around and then back down at the paper. Kenny begins talking to himself.

KL: The message says to meet back here for a interview. It’s not signed and I have no clue who wrote this. (Kenny looks down at his watch) I’m not waiting much longer.

Suddenly two shadows fall over the Kenny. Kenny looks up and a look of shock is on his face. The camera finally pans back to reveal Ripper Robertson and “Mad Man” Max Mayhem, better known to wrestling fans as The Motor City Maniacs. Kenny gulps loudly and he opens hi mouth and tries to speak, but can’t.

RR: What’s the matter, Kenny? Don’t worry, Max isn’t going to cause you any harm, well not yet anyway. Aren’t you happy to see us?

Kenny just nods his head yes

RR: Well don’t you want to want to know what’s brought us back to the EPW? I mean not that our first stint was all that impressive?

Kenny nods yes, again.

RR: That’s exactly why we’re back. These young punks around here think they have it so tough, they think they know what it takes to climb to the top Tag Team Division, but then they quickly abandon the very thing they work so hard at to venture into the singles realm, thinking that they’ll be a headliner. We’re here to show the wrestling world that Tag Team wrestling isn’t a thing of the past. We’ve battled greats like the Night Cripplers and The Dark Carnival in Main Event matches and we’re here to put the NPW Tag Team Division back on the top of the wrestling world.

Kenny finally speaks

KL: Mi…Mist….Mister Robertson. I’m sure you don’t expect to come in here and expect to be trust into the heart of the Tag Team Division. Do you?

Max takes a step toward Kenny, but Ripper puts an arm up impeding Max’s movement. Ripper never looks at Max, but glares directly at Kenny.

RR: Do we expect to what? You know what kid; we are the Tag Team Division now. Doesn’t really matter who holds the Tag Team gold, doesn’t really matter who’s in the division. What matters is that the Motor City Maniacs are here and we’re about to show the entire wrestling world why we were one of the most feared tag teams to ever step in a ring. Now get the hell out of here.

Ripper makes a quick move toward Kenny, who turns to run but runs smack dab into a wall, knocking himself out unconscious. Ripper and Max chuckle to themselves as they turn and walk away.


Kazuo Shizaki vs. Kenshiro Inogami

DT: We’re back and it’s straight forward with another big match here at Aggression 28. This one pits two talented Japanese wrestlers against each other. It’ll be “The Black Rose” Kazuo Shizaki taking on Kenshiro Inogami.

MN: Kawasaki ****su versus Konichiwa Origami?

DT: I’m just going to ignore you and take it down to the ring for the introductions.

(No music plays. “The Black Rose” makes his entrance through the curtains, very businesslike, to a decent pop from the audience. He’s all business as he heads to the ring, staying focused on the task at hand.)

Announcer: First, hailing from Kyoto, Japan... he stands five feet ten inches tall and weighs in at two hundred and fifteen pounds... “The Black Rose”... Kazuo SHI-ZAKI!!!!!!!!!!

DT: I’m very impressed already from the very no-nonsense approach of Shizaki. He seems to be one of the most focused competitors we have seen in recent history.

(Any further discussion by the broadcast team is interrupted, as the crowd suddenly hushes. The lights go dark and smoke begins billowing from the entranceway. The lights start flickering on at a very low setting and a silhouette makes it’s way to the ramp. All of a sudden the lights flash on at the brightest setting and there is Kenshiro Inogami standing still and calm at the bottom of the ramp. He makes his way to the ring.)

Announcer: His opponent, hailing from The Kansai Prefecture of Osaka, Japan... stands six feet three inches tall and weighs two hundred and thirty-five pounds... Kenshiro INO-GAMI!!!!!!!!!!

(Inogami stands calmly in his corner now.)

MN: No music, just these two Pearl Harbor conspirators making a big scene. I’m not impressed, yet.

DT: Pear Harbor conspirators? Neely, you do know that for that comment to be even remotely plausible, these two would have to be over seventy years old, right?

MN: Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I know what I know.

(Small pause, as you can imagine the entire broadcast team, minus Mike Neely, shaking their head in disgust.)


DT: Just like that, this match is underway. Both men circling each other with their hands out. They lock up, with the larger Inogami backing Shizaki into the corner. The ref is calling for a break and he gets it.

DM: Both men are known to play by the rules and be men of much focus and determination. It will be interesting to see how the match plays out over the next few minutes.

DT: Another collar-and-elbow tie up and once again Inogami is pushing Shizaki into the corner. Shizaki throws his feet behind him and pushes off...

MN: He’s air born!

DT: ... and lands on his feet. SPINNING WHEEL KICK! Inogami stumbles back into the corner.

DM: Shizaki really likes to get the momentum going...

DT: He rears back and charges and Inogami as he pushes himself out of the corner. HURRICANRANA! Shizaki is trying to take full control of this match early. What do you think now, Neely?

MN: Eh...

DT: How can you say that? Shizaki back on the attack with a front face lock but Inogami has worked loose with a magnificent move! They both get to their feet but Inogami sends “The Black Rose” down with a forearm shot. Spring board from the second rope and a complete back flip onto Shizaki.

DM: Just like that, Inogami looks to take control.

MN: These types of matches frustrate me so much! The momentum swings back and forth with the frequency of cars passing a hitchhiker on a busy interstate. It makes me want to go into epileptic seizures watching these guys.

DT: Inogami is staying on the attack and has Shizaki in head scissors.

(SFX: Shizaki screaming in pain.)

DM: You can see that while Shizaki is obviously in a lot of pain, he is trying to position himself so as to break free of the hold. I like how he is trying to get up into a hand stand, but Inogami is working hard to keep it from happening.

DT: I’m sure he’d love to rest for a little longer while still dishing out more punishment to Shizaki.

MN: It was so break neck a few moments ago, and now it’s getting dull and boring.

DT: I thought it was giving you epileptic seizures just moments ago.

MN: Well... now it’s creating nausea from sheer boredom.

DM: Give me a break! This is great wrestling action!

DT: Shizaki is on his head and with a kick is free of the head scissors!

(The crowd roars its approval for the strong effort.)

DT: Inogami scrambles to get to his feet, but is sent to the mat with a dropkick. He’s back on his feet and Shizaki fires away with martial arts-style kicks and chops. He’s got Inogami on the defensive as he struggles to find an answer for this overwhelming offense!

MN: Overwhelming? Offense from BLITZ is overwhelming. This is like being attacked by a swarm of mosquitoes... merely an annoyance.

DT: Spinning heel kick and once again Inogami is down on the canvas. He spins on his back and kicks Shizaki’s feet out from under him!

DM: This is smart. He’s trying to keep his attacker off-balance so as to gain the initiative once again.

MN: Shut up, Matthews!

DT: This has been a back and forth match since the beginning! Inogami runs the ropes, but Shizaki is up and tries to hip toss. It’s blocked and Inogami hits a swinging neckbreaker.

MN: But what’s going on in the crowd?

(The crowd is indeed abuzz about something.)

DT: I don’t know, but Inogami is up on his feet and looking like he’s ready to kick things into high gear. He bounces off the ropes and hits a hard slamming legdrop!

MN: There is the disturbance. It’s Foxx!

DT: Foxx just came out of the crowd and is standing at ringside. Inogami is up on his feet and looking at her with mild confusion.

DM: It doesn’t distract Inogami for long, he’s got Shizaki up on his feet. This is what I love about Ninja K... his focus and determination.

DT: Shizaki with a surprise inside cradle!




It could have been over just like that.

MN: I thought you said this Inogami Ninja K character was focused? Looks like he took his head out of the game there...

DM: ... for a split second...

MN: ... it was a split second too long!

DT: Back to the action, and Foxx is making a ton of noise on the outside. She is trying to get Inogami’s attention pretty badly. Inogami isn’t having any of it, though. DDT!!!!! Shizaki is down and another cover from Inogami!




Kickout at two by “The Black Rose”.

DM: The pace has slowed considerably.

DT: I’d say that is mostly due to the effects of Foxx being at ringside. Inogami is measuring Shizaki up... he lowers a chop to the mat but misses!

MN: This Black Rose kid is up on his feet quickly.

DT: They’re exchanging chops and kicks. Shizaki looks to be getting the upper hand! He backs Inogami into the ropes and then an Irish whip into the corner. He gets a running head start and monkey flips Inogami back into the center of the ring!

MN: Seriously, do people still do monkey flips?

DM: Shut up, Neely. They do now!

DT: Inogami holds his back for a second, but quickly regains his composure and looks to get to his feet. Shizaki with a baseball slide the takes Inogami’s feet right back out from under him again!

DM: The crowd is really starting to get back into this one now that the pace has picked up considerably.

MN: I can feel my epilepsy coming back.

DT: I think it’s obvious that Foxx has issues with Inogami. She is cheering for Shizaki to finish him off!

MN: Strange bedfellows, indeed!

DT: Shizaki on his feet and closing the distance once again but Inogami sends him crashing to the canvas with a double-leg takedown. He rebounds off the ropes... but comes crashing to the canvas?????

MN: I didn’t see anything!

DT: The crowd is booing and the ref is looking in Foxx’s direction. She is trying her best to look innocent.

DM: The ref was out of position, looking at Shizaki... I don’t even think that Shizaki saw it happen either. He’s reluctant to do anything.

DT: He goes over to Inogami slowly, but is reluctant to turn him over. The ref is looking on, and finally Shizaki covers him.





Announcer: Your winner of the match as a result of a pinfall. “The Black Rose” Kazuo Shizaki!!!!!

(The crowd boos emphatically.)

DT: Foxx is leaving back through the crowd with security actually clearing her a path through the fans. Let’s look at this through the instant replay and see what exactly happened.

MN: I told you, I didn’t see anything!

(Cue up EPW’s patented split screen technology.)

DT: Right here you can see it. Shizaki’s flat on the canvas. He and the ref are looking at each other as Inogami connects with the ropes. There’s Foxx jumping up and connecting with the back of Inogami’s head... it’s something that looks to be about a foot long.

MN: I don’t see it! It looks to me like she jumped up to pat him on the back. If he can’t take a good ol’ pat on the back for a job well done, then he is in the wrong profession.

DT: Either case, Inogami was laid out by Foxx... this is just a travesty of justice!

DM: I wouldn’t have thought Foxx would do something like this. I don’t know what kind of statement she is trying to make.

DT: Well, regardless folks... “The Black Rose” is the winner of this contest. We’ll look into what just happened as we progress through the night. We’ve got more action on the way, but first, a word from our sponsors!


(FADE IN: Irishred is in the back of a beat up old cargo plane. The whole back is packed with fish on top of dried ice. There is only one seat, the pilot’s chair. Irishred leans uncomfortably on the cargo.)

Jomo: "You big time comfy right Mr. Irishred. Jomo tell you he got plane. First class all the way."

Irishred: “Yeah Jomo, Virgin Airlines has nothing on you my friend...nothing at all...”



Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
DT: Well folks, we're back, and I gotta tell ya, that was a pretty match between Shizaki and Inogami.

MN: Did you enjoy the match so much because you saw such great action or because Foxx’s backside was right in your grill?

DT: Neely, please.

DM: I gotta go with Neels on this one, man. I saw you leering from all the way over here!

MN: Maybe we should get on with this so Thomas can strap his feed bag on.

DT: You guys are SO funny. As you wish, let's get on with our next match, one that's had a small change to it. This match was originally supposed to be a three way dance with Rocko Daymon, Damian Stone, and CJ Carnage, however, Mr. Carnage notified EPW offices and indicated he had some travel difficulties, and could not make the match. So, this will be a one-on-one encounter between Daymon and Stone!

MN: Travel difficulties, indeed. I bet he's at home right now, causing all kinds of carnage to his boyfr-

DT: Neely!

MN: What?

DT: Do I really need to tell you?

DM: Neely's in the doghouse!

DT: (head in his hands) Can we just get on with the match?


Damian Stone vs. Rocko Daymon

The lights dim as the opening of "Diary of Jane" begins to play over the PA. As the soft opening begins to play over the PA, fog begins to shoot up from the entranceway.

TONY FATORA: Ladies and gentlemen, this is a match scheduled for one fall, with a thirty minute time limit!

Once the main opening kicks in, out walks Echo first, looking around at the fans as Damian walks right out and to the right of the stage. He looks at the fans, throwing his right hand in the air. He then crosses the stage to the left side and poses for the fans. Walking back to the center of the stage, Echo drops to a knee as Damian stands behind her. Damian then looks up at the fans and points upward as red pyro explodes over his head to a round of cheers from the crowd.

TF: Introducing first... from St. Louis, Missourrrraaahh... standing SEVEN feet tall and tipping the scales at three hundred and forty-five pounds, accompanied by Echo... THIS... is DAMIIAAANNNNNN STOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!

They then rise and walk down the aisle, slapping hands with the fans. Echo sildes into the ring as Damian grabs the top rope and steps into the ring. Damian walks over to hard-camera side and throws his hand in the air. He then walks over to Echo who helps him take off his shirt and his coat. Turning around, he waits for the bell.

TF: And his opponent...

"Capricorn" by 30 Seconds to Mars plays over the PA system. Into an entourage of red lights, Rocko Daymon steps out of the curtain. He is followed by his manager and wife, Caitlyn Daymon. The two stand for several moments at the top of the ramp, gazing over the mass audience as their entrance is hailed. Finally, after sharing a glance to look into each others eyes, the Daymons stride down the ramp to the ring.

TF: Hailing from Tacoma, Washington... he stands six feet two inches tall, and weighs two hundred and forty-six pounds, accompanied by his wife and manager Caitlyn .... he.... IS... RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCKO DAYYYYYMONNNNN!!

When Daymon and Caitlyn arrive at ringside, Daymon slides under the bottom rope and comes onto his knees. Caitlyn Daymon stays at ringside, finding her place. Rocko looks at the mat for several moments, thinking about his performance and the importance of the match about to take place. Then, casting all thought aside, he pushes himself to his feet and goes into his corner, ready for action. Official Andrew Gardell calls for the bell, and we're underway!

DT: Lock up between Stone and Daymon. Neither man really getting the advantage yet... WHOA! There's a shove by Stone and he sends Daymon backwards all the way into the corner!

Stone taunts Daymon as Daymon holds on to the corner ropes and looks around. He comes out of the corner, and once again, the two men lock up, and once again, Stone fires Daymon back into the corner.

DM: Remember that Daymon IS giving up almost a foot and a hundred pounds to the big man. Daymon's impact game isn't going to work here tonight at all. He's going to have to find another way to beat Stone.

DT: Here comes Daymon out of the corner... Stone moves to lock up again, but Daymon ducks underneath. Stone turns around, and there's a right hand from Daymon! Another right hand! A third! He's impacting the big man, but I don't know how much it's affecting him! Daymon's got Stone backed up a couple steps, but Stone's a long way from going down!

Daymon winds up and fires off another right hand, but Stone catches Daymon's hand! Daymon fires a left, but Stone catches it as well, and Stone has Daymon in a Roman knuckle lock! Stone pushes down and over on Daymon's hands, and immediately, Daymon is down on one knee, yelling out in pain! Stone yells and pushes a little harder, and Daymon drops to both knees. Caitlyn cheers him on from ringside.

MN: Daymon better find a way out of this, or he's going to need new sets of fingers!

Stone keeps squeezing Daymon's hands and bending them over, and Daymon continues to yell out in pain. Daymon looks for a way out, but doesn't really see one. He fights his way back to one knee, but Stone pushes and sends Daymon back down, but Daymon uses the momentum to roll to his back, and kick up with both feet, driving Stone square in the chin!

DT: What a shot by Daymon!

MN: I think I see a few of Stone's teeth in the floor in front of us!

Daymon gets back to his feet, shaking out his hands as Stone clutches his chin and mouth with both hands, and Daymon steps up and drives a couple right hands into Stone's face, before going downstairs and kicking away at Stone's left knee!

DT: Daymon's kicks are making the big man limp and stumble, but he won't go down!

Stone walks around the ring, hanging on to the top rope, limping, as Daymon keeps pounding away at his knee. A few more kicks, and Daymon grabs Stone and hoists him up with a big yell, and drops him down into a big kneebreaker!

MN: Stone still won't go down!

DM: But Daymon's taking the right approach! If Stone can't stand, he can't use any of his power moves, and leaves him wide open for Daymon!

Daymon lands a couple more right hands, and Stone starts teetering. Daymon takes off and hits the ropes, and comes back with a running clohtesline! Stone is leaning way backwards, trying to hold on, but not quite over yet!

DT: I think he's going to go!

Daymon takes off and hits the ropes again, and this time comes back with a massive discus punch!

DT: Hand of God!


DT: Stone is down!

The crowd cheers and Daymon is all fired up! He starts stomping away at Stone's knee, as Gardell administers his five-count. Daymon breaks at four, and goes right back to the knee. Once again, Gardell starts his five count, and Daymon breaks at four. Daymon sets Stone's knee on the bottom rope, and leaps high into the air, before coming down into a sitting position on Stone's knee. Stone cries out in pain, and Daymon once again leaps into the air, and comes down on the knee. Gardell warns Daymon to get Stone off the ropes, so Daymon complies, and rolls out of the ring, and Gardell starts his count. Daymon grags Stone to the corner from the outside, and wraps Stone's knee HARD around the ring post!

MN: That'll mess your knee up hard.

DM: Yes, you could dislocate your patella, or tear your anterior cruciate ligament very easily with this move.

MN: Um, yeah, that's exactly what I said!

As Stone is curled up in the corner clutching his knee, Daymon rolls back into the ring at the count of 7, and referee Gardell has a chat with him about all the counts, and warns Daymon to stay within the rules. As the two men are talking, Stone slowly begins to pull himself up in the corner. Daymon and the official complete their talk, and Daymon sees Stone all hunched over in the corner. Daymon takes off to the opposite corner, and breaks into a run.

MN: I hear the train a-comin...

DT: Phantom Train by Daymon! But wait a sec! NO! Stone got a big boot up into the back of Daymon's head as he charged in! Daymon went down like he's been shot!

Stone grabs Daymon and pulls him to his feet, before slamming his face into the top turnbuckle, continuously, and the crowd counts along...


Stone lets go of Daymon, and Daymon stumbles out of the corner, where Stone LEVELS him with a clothesline. Stone takes a moment to walk around on his knee, trying to get the strength back, to ignore the pain, and he limps back over to Daymon and pulls him to his feet. He puts Daymon in a full nelson, before quickly and violently slamming Daymon to the canvas with a full nelson slam! Stone, though, falls to one knee, and favors his other leg.

DT: Stone is still able to hit some of his power moves, but it's taking a toll on him as well as hurting Daymon. You'd think he'll want to put Daymon away quickly, before his knee gives out!

DM: That knee took a ton of punishment, and you're absolutely right, Dave. Stone HAS to put Daymon away before any more damage is done to that knee, or it becomes weak enough that his power arsenal is rendered useless.

Stone pulls Daymon to his feet, and nails him with a heavy right hand, before whipping Daymon to the ropes. Daymon rebounds, and Stone PLANTS him with a powerslam! Stone takes a moment to clutch his leg, then slowly makes the cover...




Stone gets to his feet, and pulls Daymon up after him. He fires Daymon to the ropes, and as he rebounds, Stone ducks his head for a back body drop, but Daymon sees this and leaps over top, attempting a sunset flip!

DT: But Stone is just too big! Daymon can't pull him over!

MN: Wait a minute! Stone just reached down and grabbed Daymon by the throat! He's pulling him out from under him! He's lifting him up! WOW, WHAT A CHOKESLAM!

DM: That's just a sick display of power from Stone!

The crowd lets out a big "OHHHHH!" as Stone sends Daymon crashing into the mat, but Stone once again buckles and falls to one knee. He crawls over and covers Daymon...




DT: If Stone could just shut out the pain in his leg, he should have this match! Stone picks up Daymon now, and OH MY! Belly to belly suplex from Stone, and that could be all! There's a quick cover!




DT: Kickout by Daymon! What a trooper!

Stone gets to his feet, and signals that the match is going to be all over. He pulls Daymon to his feet, and once again grabs him around the throat, ready for another top-notch chokeslam! But just before Stone can hoist Daymon up, Daymon starts kicking away furiously at Stone's knee! Stone drops Daymon to keep from going down, and Daymon immediately boots Stone in the guts and plants him with a double arm DDT!

DM: Awesome counter from Daymon!

DT: Both men are down! Daymon's recovering.. wait, no, here he goes to make a cover!




Daymon pulls Stone to his feet, and whips him to the ropes. Stone rebounds, and Daymon nails him with a spinebuster! Another cover!




DT: Daymon's pulling out all the stops here, but it's not quite enough! He pulls Stone to his feet, and boots him in the guts for good measure! Daymon heads to the ropes... GOOD GRIEF!!!

MN: Stone just about broke Daymon in half with that spear!!

DM: I don't think he got all of it though, Neels... remember Stone had to push off that bad knee, but he did catch Daymon hard!

Stone is down holding his knee, but he fights to get to all fours, and he crawls over to Daymon, and drapes an arm over him for the cover...





Stone can't believe it, and he's hounding the official for the three count! Gardell shakes his head and motins with his foot to the bottom rope, where Daymon's foot is still laying across it. Stone sits stunned for several moments, and slowly begins to get to his feet. Once up, favoring his leg, he pulls Daymon off the ropes, and up to his feet.

DT: Looks like Stone is setting up for a big move... possibly the JJE?

MN: Looks like it, Thomas! He's going to break Daymon's neck! He won't get up from that!

Stone hoists Daymon up to his shoulders, and takes a second to adjust Daymon on his shoulders, and as he does, Daymon starts squirming and kicking violently, trying to knock Stone off balance!

DM: Daymon's trying to kick his way out of this! If he can only get Stone going backwards...

Stone fights, but Daymon's rapid struggling is taking the big man off balance, and Stone eventually goes over backwards, and Daymon tucks himself against Stone's back, so that when they come down, Daymon has Stone in a Crucifix pin! Gardell jumps into position...




Gardell calls for the bell, and the crowd cheers as "Capricorn" by 30 Seconds to Mars begins to play over the PA! Caitlyn slides into the ring to give Daymon a big hug!

DT: Wow, he did it! Daymon stole this match right out from under Stone!

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match.. by pinfall.... RRRRRRRRRRRROCKOOOOOO DAAAAYYYYYYMOOONNNNNN!

Caitlyn and Daymon celebrate in the ring, as Stone sits on the canvas, stunned!

DT: An outstanding victory for Daymon, and a fantastic showing for Stone! Folks, we'll be right back with more action, right here on EPW's AGGRESSION!!


(Irishred and Jomo say their goodbyes outside of an old airfield outside of Seattle. Jomo does business with what appears to be the last of the Woodstock generation bred with a clan of Bigfoots. Irishred is cussing his cell phone, finally throwing it as far as he can. He turns directly into a huge set of breasts on what he hopes is a female of this clan.)

Rose: "Man the vibe I'm pulling off of you is major negative suger. Why don't you tell sweet little Rose what's troubling you baby? Let me set your chakra right."

(Irishred takes a step back and looks up at the obviously stoned woman.)

Irishred: “Sweet. Little. Rose. I'm sure one third of that statement is true. Listen my "chakra" is fine. I'm always negative, and right now I can't get seem to get a cab to the Key Arena. So unless you happen to be a cabbie...I really don't have the time.”

Rose: "Baby...you're in luck. We'll be driving right by the arena as we take our load of Mr. Jomo's fish to market. You just climb on in the Love Bus with all of us and we'll get you there."

(Irishred watches as the group of 5 men and women load Jomo's fish into the back of the Volkswagon Van.)

Irishred: “I'm going to be sitting with the fish aren't I?”..(under his breath) “Boy, Ryan are you gonna pay for this….”


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
DT: What a night it has already been here on Aggression tonight, but the best is still in front of us.

DM: Absolutely right, Dave. We still have our main event, which features Troy Windham taking on Professor Tremendous, but right now, we have Joey Melton getting set to take on Chip Friendly’s replacement, Richard Farnswirth.

MN: Quite possibly the greatest match we have ever seen on Aggression.

DT: You raise an excellent point, Neels.

MN: I know I do.

DT: What I was going to say is the fact that one half of the Tag Team Champions is set to take on one half of, quite possibly, the most dominant tag team EPW has ever seen.

DM: Excellent point and this can only be a preview of things to come. Both of these guys are half of teams that could absolutely tear the roof off of the tag division here in EPW.


Joey Melton vs. Richard Farnswirth

(CUE UP: Bonnie Tyler’s “I Need a Hero”.)

(Slight pop with a few boos mixed in as Melton steps out from behind the curtain.)

DT: Well Dean, it looks like we’re going to get things started here for that preview that you were speaking of.

MN: I can practically feel the saliva edging to the end of my lips.

(CUE UP: “Ride of the Valkyries” by Richard Wagner.)

(The lights of the arena go down as several green lasers flitter about. As Farnswirth emerges from the back, the lasers merge on the entrance ramp to draw a large dollar sign. Richard stands at the top of the ramp and looks over the crowd in disgust before heading for the ring.)

DT: Is there a man in professional wrestling that is more satisfied than this guy?

DM: I don’t believe so, Dave. But he has every reason to be that way. He’s a brilliant business man, a current tag team champion, and a multiple time world champion. This guy has really done it all.

MN: Did you say make millions of dollars and own practically everyone?

DM: I think the brilliant businessman kind of tied that up.

MN: Okay. Just making sure…

(Both men are in the ring and the ref holds them at arm’s length. He then checks with everyone on the outside before calling for the bell.)


DT: Well, here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, buckle your seatbelts.

DM: It sure is going to be one hell of a match.

DT: The two men get a good look at each other here as they pace around the ring. Their eyes are fixated on one another. Both of them step to the middle of the ring. Nice collar and elbow tie-up there. Farnswirth uses the size advantage. He presses Melton back and into the ropes. Melton and the ref look for the clean break…

DM: But they don’t get it! Big knife-edge chop there by Farnswirth! And another! Melton’s chest instantly takes a different shade of red!

DT: Farnswirth steps right between the ref and Melton as he locks his arm and now looks for an Irish whip. Melton hits the opposite ropes…

DM: Reversal by Melton with that flying shoulder block!

DT: And now Melton takes over as he lays a few boots into Farnsy before pulling him back up to his feet. Nice right hand followed by another as Melton gains the upper hand. Melton now backs Farnswirth into the ropes…

DM: And he returns the favor with a knife-edge chop of his own! And another! And another! Listen to this crowd getting behind Joey Melton!


DT: Melton sets up Farnsy and looks for an Irish whip of his own. He heaves and Farnsy hits the ropes. There’s the rebound…

DM: Nice drop toe hold there by Melton! He quickly floats over…

DT: And locks in a textbook hammerlock! Farnswirth screams out in pain as he looks to find the ropes.

MN: Things aren’t looking too good for Mr. Millionaire here. Those ropes are miles away if that’s how he plans on getting out of this one.

DM: Excellent analysis, Neels. There is no way that Farnsy is going to get to those ropes, so he’s going to have to find an alternative.

DT: Looks like he’s going to take your advice, Dean, as Farnswirth is trying to work his way up to his feet. He’s to his knees now as he tries to plant that foot into the canvas.

DM: And he does! He pushes up and he’s now to a vertical base. He’s in excellent position now.

DT: And there’s a back elbow! And another! Melton relinquishes the hold. Farnswirth turns around and now connects on a right hand. And another! Farnswirth trying to regain the momentum here…

DM: There’s a front facelock… and a vertical suplex by Farnswirth! He quickly floats over for a cover…



Kickout by Melton!

DT: Nice exchange there by Farnswirth as he appears to have regained the advantage here. He stands back up and now pulls Melton up with him. Big European uppercut there. And another that sends Melton reeling into the corner.

DM: And yet another huge knife-edge chop by Farnswirth! And another! And one more for good measure!

DT: If he’s not careful, the ref could very well disqualify him here.

MN: I believe that Farnswirth knows the extent of the rules. He has to a count of five, and I’m sure that he knows there’s enough time between four and five to stop what he’s doing.

DT: Well, he’s taking every bit of that time between four and five and I’m not too sure about whether or not he’s going to fail to stop one time.

MN: I believe that by simply looking at Richard’s bank account that you could tell that he is more than capable of counting, especially from four to five.

DT: Regardless, Farnswirth is staying on the offensive here as he gives Melton a hip toss to the middle of the ring. The wait on more offense isn’t long as he goes right towards the fallen Melton. He now locks him in a rear chinlock.

DM: And this move is just going to wear down on Melton and really soften that neck up for quite possibly a Million Dollar Dream later down the line.

DT: Absolutely right there, Dean, as Farnsy is really cranking on that neck as Melton looks to try and find the ropes.

MN: But due to Farnswirth being the ring general that he is, Melton has nowhere to go. This guy never ceases to amaze me.

DT: Excellent point, Neels. Melton has really no hope here. He’s reaching and reaching, but he’s going to have to find an alternative method here.

DM: Well, it looks like he’s trying to swing those arms and get enough momentum to pull himself back up to his feet and possibly do the same thing that Farnswirth did to him earlier.

DT: And it seems to be working as Melton is up to a knee. He gets to a vertical base and swings the elbow…

DM: But Farnswirth sidestepped it! And now drives a knee into Melton’s midsection! Melton doubles over and Farnswirth sends him back down to the mat with a double axe handle right across the back!

DT: Farnswirth certainly knows what he’s doing in there, and he’s really keeping Melton on his toes here in this match. Farnswirth pulls Melton back up to his feet and backs him into the ropes with a few more knife-edge chops.

MN: Melton is going to give new meaning to hamburger meat on the chest.

DT: Those chops will pull your skin apart, that’s for sure, Neels. Farnswirth looks to inflict even more damage now as he whips Melton across the ring. Melton rebounds…

DM: Huge powerslam by Farnswirth! He holds for a pin…



Kickout by Melton!

DT: And you can sense some frustration as Farnswirth slaps the mat. He gives the referee a piece of his mind, but even he knows that there are bigger matters at hand.

DM: You’re not going to find someone much smarter than Farnswirth, inside that ring or out, and he’s showing us that right now.

DT: Farnswirth is perched in the corner now. He’s sitting there like a vulcher, just waiting on his prey. What could he be looking for?

MN: I think it’s going to be the beginning of the end for Mr. Melton.

DT: Well, Melton is back to his feet…

DM: Million Dollar Dream!

DT: Melton is stuck here! What’s he going to do?

DM: Look out! Melton had that moved scouted and he just took off and sent Farnswirth face-first into the turnbuckle!

MN: But he took a blow on the second turnbuckle himself!

DT: Indeed he did. Both men are down here and the ref must administer his ten count…






DM: Both men are beginning to stir here. You have to think that whoever gets to their feet first could very well walk out of this match with a win in their pocket!




DT: Melton is up! He charges at Farnswirth, who looks for a double axe handle again…

DM: But Melton catches him with a kick to the midsection! Farnswirth doubles over…

DT: Big bulldog by Melton!

DM: But now Melton must stay on top of things. He’s taking a minute to catch his breath, but it better not take him too long…

DT: Well, he’s back up, but let’s see what he can do from here. He lays a few boots into Farnswirth as Farnswirth slowly makes his way to his feet. There’s a right by Melton. And another! Farnswirth swings a right of his own…

DM: But Melton ducks! Kick to the midsection… DDT!

DT: Melton goes for the pin…



Kickout by Farnswirth!

DM: Melton is really tearing into Farnswirth now! He’s got him reeling!

DT: Melton is pulling Farnsy back up now. He scoops him up…

DM: Big backbreaker by Melton!

MN: Come on Farnswirth! Outsmart this moron!

DT: Well, it’s hard to do when someone refuses to let up on you, much like Melton is doing here as he pulls Farnswirth back up one more time. There’s a front face lock…

DM: Slingshot suplex! That can only mean one thing, Dave!

DT: Melton is up and these fans are loving it! He makes his way to Farnswirth’s legs…

DM: Figure four leglock! Farnswirth is beside himself as Melton locks in that hold, cranking down on the knee of the tag team champion!

DT: Farnswirth is in extreme agony here! If he’s not careful, he could very well get counted to the mat as he slowly… let’s his shoulders hit the mat!



But he’s back up!

DM: There is nowhere for Farnswirth to go. He’s near the ropes, but not near enough! Melton has perfect position here!

DT: Farnswirth continues to reach, but he’s also letting his shoulders fall in the process!



Back up!

DM: He can’t get to those ropes, Dave.

DT: Well, he’s certainly going to have to do something soon or- What the hell?!?!

MN: It’s Fikes! He’s coming to the rescue!

DT: But the ref spots him! He’s warning him about entering the ring!

MN: But look at Fikes! He had no intentions of doing such a thing! He just wants to be in his boss’s corner.

DT: Yeah, I’m sure.

DM: Well, Fikes is certainly not entering the ring here.

DT: But he’s pushing the damn ropes! The ref had his back turned and Fikes pushed the ropes so that Farnswirth could reach them! Dammit!

DM: But the ref didn’t see any of it! Melton is going to have to release the figure four.

DT: Well, he does, but now he’s making his way over to Fikes! Melton is leaning over the ropes yelling at Fikes!

MN: But Fikes isn’t going to stand for that! He’s up on the apron telling Melton what he thinks!

DT: Things could explode here at any minute! The ref is trying to hold these two apart!

DM: But he can’t! Melton grabs Fikes by the shoulders…

DT: Low blow! Farnswirth just caught Melton from behind with the low blow!

DM: Back suplex by Farnswirth! Melton is down! Farnswirth is down!

DT: It’s a race again, but Farnswirth already has the upper hand there. He’s back up and slowly stumbles into the corner. He’s really favoring that knee though.

DM: Melton better watch out. He’s giving Farnswirth way too much time to calculate here.

DT: Well, Melton is back up…

DM: Market Crash- NO! Farnswirth’s knee gave out!

DT: Melton hops over him.

DM: Sunset flip!

DT: But Farnswirth rolls through it! He’s got Melton rolled up and now Fikes grabs his hands for extra leverage!





TF: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… Richard Farnswirth!

DT: Dammit! I don’t believe what I just saw! Farnswirth cheated his way to another damn win!

MN: Do you have to call it cheating?

DT: What would you prefer?

MN: I believe outsmarting is what we’ve been saying all night.

DT: Well, he outsmarted Melton by taking advantage of the ref not seeing him breaking the rules, which is also called cheating.

MN: Stop being sour, Thomas.

DM: Folks, we’re going to take a break. Don’t go anywhere!


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
(Irishred is seen making his way into the back of the arena, through the parking lot entrance. He’s muttering a lot of “for Irishred’s ears only” stuff as he rounds the corner. He walks past a pillar and falls out of the shot, but suddenly, a loud crash is heard. The camera quickly turns the corner and sees Irishred’s fallen body with someone standing over top of him. The camera scrolls up to show none other than Steven Shane, standing over Red with a chair in hand.)

Shane: I was sent to congenially tell you that Mr. Ryan’s office is closed for the night. Please come back some other time.

(Shane hovers over Red a few seconds more before stepping over the fallen Red and making his way off camera. The camera then zooms in on the out-cold Red as it fades to commercial.)

DT: Alright, Shane! Way to take a stand for EPW…

MN: Please! That was a cheap shot

DM: Did you see a cheap shot, Dave? I didn’t see a cheap shot.

DT: No cheap shot here.

MN: Marks.


Tag Team Four Corners
Saviors of Wrestling vs. Blitz vs. Proletariat vs. James Irish/The Sergeant

[CUTTO: A match already in progress, with Nero from the Proletariat applying a hammerlock on James Irish]

DT: And it’s time for tag team action now fans. During the commercial break, all four teams made their way to the ring and had a pull apart brawl, but things have settled down now with Nero in the ring with James Irish!

DM: Now we can see if the Proletariat can go rather than just talk.

DT: Irish with a waistlock takedown. Tries floating over, but Nero quickly out of the headlock attempt. Both men back to their feet, drop-toehold by Nero, but Irish stops him applying a headlock of his own. Irish back to his feet, but Nero with a huge dropkick to the face! James Irish is down, and Nero grabbing him by the hair – BIG Russian legsweep!

MN: Not too shabby is he?

DM: He’s doing alright so far. Quick tag out though to Adam Benjamin, who comes in with a kick to the gut, as Irish is in a bit of trouble. Benjamin takes him down with a backbreaker. Quickly into the cover



Kickout by Irish.

DM: And he looks in real trouble here in the early going.

DT: Benjamin making a quick tag to his partner, and now we get our first real look at Chandler Maxwell! Maxwell with a twist of the arm… HARD kick to the chest, and into a short-arm clothesline! Jake Roberts would be proud of that one, it was perfectly executed!

MN: Of course.

DT: Maxwell dropping a knee straight across the chest there, into the cover


Kickout. James Irish needing to make the tag, but look at that overhand wrist-lock from Chandler Maxwell! He’s controlling a much more experienced opponent with ease!

DM: To be fair to James, he had to deal with Jecht from Blitz in the brawl at the start, then Nero, then the former Intercontinental and TV champion.

MN: You hating on Maxwell?

DM: I’m saying let’s see how he handles himself against someone not already weakened.

DT: Well, there’s the tag out, bringing in the larger of the Proletariat – who’s bigger, him or Jecht?

DM: Jecht. He’s sixteen pounds heavier.

DT: And the second largest man in this match with Irish by the throat – BIG clubbing right hand takes him down! Sergeant’s looking on wanting to help his partner, who is just being taken apart out here.

DM: I think we should explain for the people at home that during the break, Irish went after Augustus, but once Jecht threw out Maxwell, he clubbed Irish from behind and delivered a snake-eyes. Irish has been a little groggy since.

DT: Speaking of Augustus, he’s picking Irish up – GORILLA PRESS! Holding him above his head… NO! James Irish slips behind, and a big reverse DDT! James Irish with his first piece of offence in a while, on a three hundred thirty pound man no-less!

MN: He won’t carry it on.

DT: James Irish getting to his feet, he looks groggy – and there’s the tag! It’s Augustus against Jecht!

DM: I hope they reinforced the ring.

DT: Jecht coming in over the top rope, and Augustus holding the back of his neck as he just waits.

DM: This could be a train wreck or something to see.

DT: Jecht now just standing in the centre of the ring – as Dean said it’s only a few pounds weight that separates these two behemoths!

MN: And Augustus is standing nose to nose with him! This doesn’t happen to a six foot eleven inch man often.

DT: Both men standing tall… and Augustus with a right hand! Jecht retaliates! Slug-fest in the middle of the ring, and neither man budging an inch! Right hands in a huge flurry, and the crowd are on their feet wondering who’s going to topple first!

DM: And Nero’s coming in!

DT: CP Nero in MAX WITH A RUNNING CLOTHESLINE! Blitz and the Proletariat going at it in the ring and the other two teams just standing there!

DM: Would you want to get in between Jecht and Augustus?

DT: The referee is trying to, as Jecht with a knee lift. Irish whip across the ring, Max coming to his aid and a BIG double back body drop! Nero coming back, taken down by a big boot from Jecht! Max picking up Augustus, but Augustus with a right to the gut. Clubbing blows to the back of Nero and Max respectively, and both men thrown to the outside!

MN: Well that was fun.

DT: Jecht turns round and a BIG clothesline from Augustus takes him to the mat! Augustus not letting the bigger man to his feet, picking him up and a BIG slam down there!

DM: Any time you get a man that size being slammed it’s going to be a big slam.

DT: Augustus with a falling headbutt to the skull of Jecht there, and he tags out to Chandler Maxwell. Maxwell in, can he continue the dominance he showed over Irish Red earlier?

DM: Who knows? He’s stomping away at the knee of Jecht though, which is a smart move against a man his size. Take away the knee and they don’t have a lot to go on.

MN: Or a leg to stand on HA HA!

DT: Droll. Maxwell taking Jecht by the leg, pulling him to the centre of the ring – and there’s a spinning toehold! Jecht pounding the mat, and Maxwell with another spinning toe-hold!

DM: Shades of Ted DiBiase there, repeating it in quick succession – holding it hurts and can wear the bodypart down, but repeating it is a bit quicker because of the initial pull it gives.

DT: And driving the elbow down into the side of the leg!

MN: Trained by the best, he’s almost as good as his cousin.

DT: Maxwell’s good, no doubt about that. Maxwell back up, still holding the leg – going for a figure NO! Jecht just POWERED him off into the ropes with one leg! Maxwell off the ropes, over Jecht on the canvas – Jecht back to his feet, and Maxwell tries a shoulder block! No budge from the big man!

DM: OK, that was a daft thing to do.

DT: Maxwell looking at Jecht, runs back to the ropes TILTAWHIRL SLAM BACKBREAKER! Did you see how quickly Jecht spun him around?!



Adam Benjamin in to break up the pinfall! Pride is all that’s at stake right now, but you’ve got to think that Dan Ryan’s paying close attention to this match to decide who gets the next title shot at the Highland Park Social Club.

MN: Which is kinda bull, Blitz should’ve had the rematch already!

DM: I don’t know what the contract said. Surprised Leonard didn’t insist on it, but then Farnswirth’s lawyers might have put in extra clauses too.

DT: Jecht just yanking Maxwell to his feet, and there’s the tag to Nero – and a glare at Augustus!

DM: It’ll be interesting in future to see these two teams, Blitz and Proletariat, go at it – I don’t think Jecht was satisfied with their exchange earlier.

DT: Nero in though, and goes straight to work on the back of the Englishman, hard forearm shot to the kidney! Maxwell down to his knees in pain - that backbreaker from Jecht did a lot of damage – and Nero OUCH!

DM: Very painful move that one – almost a dragon sleeper, but bending Maxwell back across his knee to put pressure right on the spine!

DT: Can Maxwell get out of this one?

MN: Nope, he’s part of the Ninety Nine club.

DT: And I thought Akita was the one able to predict the future.

DM: Please… don’t mention that name, it’s almost as vile as Hans the Viking.

MN: Or the Monkey-boy.

DT: Regardless, Maxwell is in a lot of pain in there, but he’s refusing to give in! Nero releasing the hold, and a stiff shot to the chest!



Kickout by Maxwell!

DM: And Nero brings him quickly up to a seated position, and the tag made to Augustus. Keep the man in, don’t let him make a tag, and one team will be eliminated sooner rather than later.

DT: And a hard kick to the spine before Nero leaves us – it’s looking bad for the Saviours right now.

MN: They’ll pull through.

DM: You know, with three teams Mike likes in there, I’m surprised his split loyalties aren’t causing him to go schizophrenic.

MN: We are not amused.

DT: Yes, Queen Victoria. Back in the ring, Augustus picking up Maxwell, up onto the shoulder… BACK BREAKER!



Benjamin in to break up the three count! Not sure if that was needed, but better to be safe than sorry I guess.

DM: Well, Maxwell did kick out as well, but Benjamin’s a veteran, he made sure.

DT: Augustus picking the smaller man up, there’s the tag back to Nero. Irish whip across the ring – DOUBLE hip-toss. The referee ushering Augustus out of the ring, and look at Nero with the blatant choke hold!

MN: Behind the referee’s back, smart man.

DT: Releases it as the ref turns round, a cover


Kickout again by the Brit. He’s been on the receiving end of punishment since Jecht was in there.

DM: If he’s smart he’ll look to tag out to the Sergeant, I don’t recall seeing him in the match so far.

DT: Nero driving the point of the knee in between the shoulders as he pulls back on the chin of Maxwell – this has got to hurt the back some more.

DM: It does. Pretty much all the focus has been on the back since Jecht left the ring, and it’s probably a very smart strategy to focus on it after that impact. You’ve got three hugely powerful men in this match, and if two of them have focused on the back, then it’s going to be tender.

DT: Maxwell though trying to force the hands off his chin – forcing them up… slowly! He’s getting there… clubbing forearm to the back of the head there! Nero with the pick up – BRAINBUSTER!



THNO! Adam Benjamin in to break up the three count as we almost had our first elimination tonight!

DM: And look at Augustus shouting at Benjamin, taunting him almost.

MN: All he’s saying is Benji’s cousin hasn’t got a chance.

DT: Maybe, maybe not, but there’s an abdominal stretch applied by Nero right in his own corner. Tag back to Augustus, and a HUGE double axe handle across the ribs! Augustus with Maxwell, hard right to the jaw, and the shove back into the corner! Shot to the ribs, and there’s another tag – the Proletariat taking firm control in this match.

DM: I don’t know how smart this is though, you’ve got the former tag team champions who are going to be fresh, and Sergeant and Irish aren’t slouches – keeping those four men on the outside resting isn’t what I’d do.

MN: But you’re retired, Dean, and they know what they’re doing.

DT: Regardless, Augustus has Maxwell up in a gorilla press. Nero in, drops to one knee… gutbuster NO! Maxwell with a rake of the eyes of Augustus, and a dropkick sending him into his partner! He’s got the chance to tag out!

DM: Go for it!

DT: Maxwell on his knees, crawling slowly… inching his way over as Augustus is getting to his feet, he’s groggy after hitting his head on the second turnbuckle… THERE’S THE TAG! Adam Benjamin is back in the ring, and a HUGE clothesline as he slingshotted himself over the top rope! Adam Benjamin with a right hand to Nero, clubbing away as the Augustus rolls to the outside. Benjamin with the Irish whip, Nero ducks under the clothesline… BIG Mexican armdrag! Benjamin with the cover



NO! Still no pinfall in this match!

MN: Tag in Blitz, they’ll clear the ring.

DM: I’ve got to agree with Mike, tagging in a fresher team would be a good idea about now.

DT: Benjamin not choosing to make the tag, picking Nero up again – thumb to the eye! Nero regaining control, driving the knee to the gut, Irish whip… AUGUSTUS PULLS DOWN THE TOP ROPE!


DT: Augustus on the outside – and Maxwell comes in and yanks him off the apron!

DM: I knew it was a bad idea having those two teams on the same side of the ring.

DT: Chandler Maxwell is just laying into Augustus, as Nero comes over… PLANCHA!

DM: Nero, Maxwell and Augustus are down! Benjamin picking up the smaller member of the Proletariat, and sends him face first into the apron!

DT: Adam Benjamin taking his time, slugging away on Nero, but Nero’s giving as good as he gets! Augustus getting back to his feet, and the double team on the outside! Both men hammering away on the former Intercontinental and TV Champion, BUT MAXWELL WITH A SHOT TO THE RIBS OF NERO! All four men are fighting near the rampway… BIG belly to belly overhead on Augustus!

MN: They better watch the count.

DT: Maxwell and Nero trading right hands, as Benjamin has Augustus by the legs, attempted slingshot… NO! Augustus with a double-footed push away

[SFX: dingdingding]

DT: What was that?

TONY FATORA: The referee has counted out both teams – the PROLETARIAT and SAVIOURS OF WRESTLING have BOTH BEEN ELIMINATED!


DM: You did say they should watch the count. I think they just got too caught up in it out there, you can see Blitz, Sergeant and Irish just staring at them.

MN: And the four cowards didn’t get involved?!

DM: Why should they, they want to win this match. Blitz did go an entire elimination match not entering the ring until they were one of the last two teams, remember?

DT: Well, security is trying to get those two teams separated AND BLITZ WITH A SNEAK ATTACK AS IRISH AND SERGEANT WEREN’T EVEN LOOKING!


DM: Max and Jecht being smart and keeping their focus solely on this match, bringing both their remaining opponents into the ring.

DT: Max with a clubbing forearm to the head of Irish, as look at the power of Jecht! He’s got Sergeant up in a gorilla press above his head! Irish sent into the corner, driving elbow by Max, Jecht telling his partner to move… JAVELIN THROW! Sergeant thrown like he’s nothing straight into his partner!

MN: What an innovative move!

DT: Leonard Johnson looking pleased as Max leaves the ring, and Jecht picking up Sergeant – big scoop slam there by the near three hundred fifty pounder.



Nope, Sergeant, the freshest man in this match, with an easy kickout, but Erin looks concerned, as Blitz are in complete control.

DM: That’s the difference, experience wise, between these two teams – Irish and Sergeant were too busy watching the melee on the outside, and that left them wide open for an attack.

DT: Jecht tossing Sergeant back into the corner, and there’s the tag to Max. Max in, driving a fist into the exposed ribs, and we’re probably going to see a lot of double teaming happening now from the former tag team champions as they try and isolate one man. Max now, side headlock applied on the smaller man, and that’s got to feel like a vice, look at the size of those arms on the big German.

DM: It’s a tight grip, but not an unbreakable one.

DT: Sergeant trying to pry himself out of the hold, but no deal. Trying to force the big man back to the ropes, but just look how powerful Max is, leading him back to the centre of the ring!

MN: This’ll be over soon.

DT: Could very well be, as Max releases the hold and just LEVELS him with a clothesline! Picking him back up, Irish whip across the ring, Sergeant under the big boot

DM: Blind tag!

DT: Sergeant slides through the legs of Max… NICE double team by Irish and Sergeant there! Max turning didn’t see Irish come in with a tackle to the knee, and Sergeant with a quick dropkick takes the big man down! James Irish in off the blind tag, and he’s just stomping away at the knee of Max! Shades of Chandler Maxwell against Jecht earlier!

DM: Because against men that size it’s the safest course of action, they can’t use their power so well from the canvas.

DT: Irish DRIVING the knee into the inside of Max’s, and just watch him wrenching back there! He’s trying to pop the knee right out of its socket!

DM: And Jecht in with a kick to the back of the head to save his partner – you could hear Max in a lot of pain there.

DT: The referee sending Jecht back to his corner, as James Irish makes the tag to Sergeant. Irish and Sergeant with a leg each.

MN: Make a wish!

DT: Max’ll be feeling that in the morning, as the Sergeant sits him up, and takes him down with a dropkick to the chest!



No, powerful kickout there by the German. Sergeant though not looking perturbed, keeping his cool, and he just LEVELS Max with a running clothesline! Goes over to his corner, another tag in, holding the leg of Max – and THERE’S some nice teamwork from Sergeant and Irish, as James Irish comes in over the top rope and squashes the knee!

DM: All of this focus on the knee, they’ve just got to make sure Jecht doesn’t get the tag in. The fan-favourites in firm control though.

DT: James Irish dragging Max to the centre of the ring… FIGURE FOUR! James Irish with the move that beat Blitz at the last Wrestleverse!

DM: But Jecht is wisely in very quickly. That was a smart move, as those high-impact shots to the knee must have already done a lot of damage.

DT: The referee again forcing Jecht to the outside, as Leonard Johnson is trying to rouse Max to make the tag, and Erin is egging on her men to go for the kill! There’s another tag, and Sergeant back in again. Double Irish Whip, Max under the double clothesline, ducks another one… and takes both men down with a clothesline of his own!

MN: Come on, Max, make the tag!

DT: Max very slow getting back to his feet there, but he’s already facing his partner, and the big, long reach those two men have brings Jecht back into this thing! Max going over to Irish now, Jecht with Sergeant, forcing them back to opposite corners… checking, double Irish whip… NO collision as they doe-cee-doe, coming back, Sergeant TAKEN OUT OF HIS BOOTS BY THE BOOT OF JECHT!

DM: But James Irish with a crossbody block on Max!

DT: Jecht picking Sergeant up as James Irish is just laying into Max on the far side – SNAKEEYES by the big man!

MN: Turn around! Listen to your manager!

DT: Jecht now noticing that James Irish is in control of Max, Jecht coming over… HUGE kick to the back of the head! Jecht now with James Irish up by the throat… DOUBLE hand choke slam there, tossing James Irish down in the centre of the ring! Max now back to his feet, Jecht with an Irish whip on Irish. James ducks under the lariat from Jecht, on the rebound


DT: Blitz using their height and combined strength there, did you see how high James Irish flew into the air?! The referee trying to regain some semblance of order, as Jecht pointing to the ropes… could it be?

DM: He’s gearing for it, listen to the crowd jeering!

DT: Jecht off the ropes, over Irish, leaps up OH MY GOD! The Sergeant from the ring apron just LEVELLED Jecht with a right hand, stopping the MASSIVE Asai Moonsault attempt from the big man!

DM: That would have been it had it hit.

DT: Max coming over, but Sergeant with a sunset flip!



NO!! Kickout by the German!

MN: He’s not even the legal man!

DT: I don’t think the referee’s taking any notice of that right now. Jecht and James Irish are very slowly trying to get to their feet, they’re definitely winded, as Sergeant doubles Max over with a knee to the gut… DDT takes him down! Sergeant’s pointing at the top rope!

DM: Big move coming.

DT: The Sergeant, leaving the safety of the ground, waiting for Max to get to his feet… no! Jecht just shook the top rope and Sergeant crotched on the top turnbuckle!

MN: That won’t please Erin.

DT: Last time I checked, Jecht and Sergeant were the legal men. Jecht now with a hard right hand, that huge fist just crashing against the skull of Sergeant – setting him up… JAVELIN toss across the ring!

DM: But James Irish stops him from following up by clotheslining Jecht to the outside! James Irish and Jecht on the outside, Max getting back to his feet on the inside!

DT: Sergeant back up to a knee – BIG chop to slow him down. James Irish and Jecht are fighting on the outside, Max with Sergeant set up… BIG scoop slam!



THRENO!! Sergeant BARELY getting the shoulder up there!

DM: It doesn’t take many blows from men Max or Jecht’s size to hurt you, that’s why big men can be so dangerous!

DT: Looks like Max is calling for the end of the match, as James Irish sends Jecht headfirst on the whip into the steel steps!

DM: Leonard’s not looking happy!

DT: Max with Sergeant up by the hair, backs him against the ropes, and a right hand for luck! Irish whip across, Max off the ropes… MAXIMUM IMPACT!!

MN: It’s over!

DT: Even on that injured knee, Max SOMEHOW manages to elevate himself up and over to deliver that somersault neck breaker! Max going for the cover

DM: But the referee’s distracted with Erin!

DT: Erin is up on the ring apron distracting the referee! Leonard Johnson coming round the ring as Max sees what’s going on, he’s yelling at Erin to get down!

DM: You just don’t want to know WHAT he’s yelling at her!

DT: Leonard Johnson grabbing Erin down off the apron – SLAP BY ERIN! The referee going to the outside, trying to separate the two managers… BULLDOG by Irish! James Irish dragging Max to the corner, climbing the ropes… FUKN NUMBER FORTY NINE! That top rope somersault legdrop right across the throat of the big German, and he’s just draped Sergeant across him!


DT: The referee turns round as Irish hightails it to the outside, kick to Jecht




[SFX: ding ding ding ding]

TONY FATORA: Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the tag team elimination match… JAMES IRISH and THE SERGEANT!!


(CUT TO: Dan Ryan and “Sensational” Steven Shane in the center of the ring.)

SS: "Dan and I told all of you that I would take care of Irishred once and for all. No one is going to come into this federation and destroy it. Irishred, you are done. Cut your losses and go on home to ****splat, South Dakota. You are way out of your league here. You never stood a chance in hell of doing anything but making a fool of yourself. Mr. Ryan has made you look the fool at every turn. Every one of us has been in the back laughing at you as your big plans fall to crap each and every week. You're a nobody. You're nothing. You're...

(“Bad Company” by Bad Company blares over the loudspeakers. A bloody Irishred runs down the rampway. He slides under the ring ropes and jumps up immediately. He launches himself at Dan Ryan and Steven Shane. Ryan quickly slides out of the ring, but Shane stands firm in the line of fire. Red takes Steven to the mat and begins pummeling him. Ryan starts yelling for security. Irishred lifts Steven Shane up and nails him with his version of a full nelson slam Black Water. Irishred then climbs to the top rope and comes flying off with Cold Shot, a knee to Steven Shane's kidneys. Red rolls Steven out of the ring and calls for a microphone. )

Irishred: RYAN!!! Stop right there, you coward. I've had it with you. I'm gonna hurt you for real. I'm gonna hit you where it hurts the most. I'm going to strip you of your vaunted power. Your abuse stops here. I'm laying down a challenge, big man. You and I for control of EPW. You step your ass into the ring and face me man to man. No more joke acts. No more world tour. No more of your hiding. Prove to the whole world that you're not afraid of me. Prove to the whole world that you truly are the better man. Do your own ****ing work for once. Step into the ring with me and put your control on the line. I lose...I leave. You're rid of me...it's that easy. All you have to do is beat me Dan. All you have to do is put my shoulders to the mat for three seconds, something you have NEVER done. I win - you give up control of EPW to me. What do you say chump?

(Ryan looks on sternly at Irishred for a few moments, then gestures to someone at ringside for a microphone)

Ryan: First and foremost, Loverboy – you’re not welcome in this arena tonight.

(Ryan makes a gesture toward the back – a few moments later 15-20 security officers come filing down the ramp)

Ryan: But I’ll spare you the embarrassment of your arrest for about thirty seconds, so that I can answer your little challenge. The answer of course – is no.

(The crowd boos, but Irishred smiles and raises the microphone to his mouth again)

Irishred: Not man enough, eh? I always took you for a coward, Ryan. And all the security? Don’t worry. I don’t plan on staying too long anyway. I kinda needed to take a leak before heading back home. Hey, isn’t your daughter’s gravesite somewhere around here?

(A loud “OHHHHH” comes from the crowd and Dan Ryan’s face turns to STONE.)

MN: Holy Crap….

DM: Um, I’m kinda scared to move right now.

(Ryan slowly lifts the microphone to his mouth.)

Ryan: No match, Red. But I’ll do you one better. I don’t wrestle in my own company, but I do throwdown the occasional street fight. You and me, street fight at Wrestleverse. And by the way, I’m not stupid enough to turn my company over to you permanently. So specifically, if you win you run things – but only for six months. Take it or leave it. And if you leave it – you leave here in a f**kin’ body bag.

(Irishred smiles once again)

Irishred: You got it.

(Ryan frowns and gestures to the security in the ring, who gang tackle Irishred and ever so-not-gently cuff him up and drag him up the ramp)

DT: Wow! It’s a street fight at Wrestleverse! Can you believe it?

DM: I still can’t believe that crack Irishred made.


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
DT: Well ladies and gentlemen, what a night it has been here on Aggression. This night has just been chalk full of action.

DM: Absolutely right, Dave. And now, it all culminates with this match.

DT: Troy Windham knows a lot about the CSWA Unified Title, but I’m not sure if he knows too much about the one that is on the line here tonight.

DM: I’m not sure I know too much about the title. This Professor Tremendous is certainly a character, and I’m interested in seeing how he defends this “title”.

(CUE UP: She Blinded me With Science" by Thomas Dolby melding into "Rockafeller Skank" by Fatboy Slim.)

(Professor Tremendous makes his way out from behind the curtain with his title* over his shoulder.)

MN: Who is this guy? And why do I have a feeling that Troy Windham’s absence from television this week shouldn’t worry me?

DM: I’m not too sure about that, Neels. The Good Professor has quite the track record and it will be interesting to see this match, in my opinion.

MN: Yeah, but who really cares about your opinion?

DT: Well guys, I hate to get in the middle of this, but I’ll remind you that this is why we fight the match.

DM: Excellent point, Dave.

MN: Yeah! Let’s get the real Unified Champ out here.

(CUE UP: “Beverly Hills” by Weezer.)

DT: Well guys, this is certainly going to be entertaining. I can’t wait to see what these two are going to bring to the table.

DM: This is really going to be an amazing match, regardless of what Neely thinks. Parents, you may want to put the children to bed, because this is going to be a doozy.

MN: I hate to break up this awkward man-love that you’re laying out here, Matthews, but where the hell is Troy Windham?

DT: That’s an excellent point, Neels. Windham’s music has been playing for some time, but he has yet to step through the curtain. Where the hell is he?

(The music cuts and the EPW-tron comes to life. We see none other than “The Epitome”, himself, Troy Windham sitting in a beach chair with a Hawaiian shirt covering his torso. August and Zoltan! sit on each side of him as he smiles for the camera.)

TW: Aloha, Chazz!

Anyone else find it ironic that I’m the one on the island while the Professor is stuck in the ring? Don’t worry though, I’ve been taking care of both Ginger AND Mary Ann.

(August and Zoltan! snicker off to the side while the crowd rains down with massive heat. Troy ignores them and continues.)

TW: Anyway, sorry that I couldn’t make it to our little shindig there tonight. It really pains me to not be able to show up for a match that I wasn’t even scheduled for in the first place.

But regardless of what my lovely bride wants to think, no one can make a jet just land on a very exclusive island, not even Troy Windham.

So, unfortunately, I’m going to have to take a pass on this week’s match. I hope there are no hard feelings, but I’m sure you can get someone to come take you on for that title that you use to mock the legacy that I built for the REAL title.

So, for now, aloha Good Professor…

(The EPW-tron dies as Windham fades off the screen. The shot then goes to Prof T, who just stands in the ring, obviously distraught.)

DT: What the hell? Who does Troy Windham think he is? He’s disobeying a direct order from the chairman of this company!

MN: He’s outside international waters. Does that count as breaching the contract?

DM: I’m pretty sure that the contract is a worldwide ordeal, and I’m afraid of the ramifications that Windham will face once he’s back in the continental US. But until then, who’s going to face Professor Tremendous? Are we even going to have a main event?


[Cut backstage, away from the cameras]

[Backstage in his office, Dan Ryan sits behind his desk, fingers placidly drumming the table's surface while his head rests comfortably in his other hand. His eyes lift to the clock on the wall, then back to the door, indicating that he has been in this position for longer than the camera has been on him.

Moments pass, and a knock on the door interrupts the silence. Without waiting for permission to enter, the door slowly swings open and Lindsay Troy walks in, dressed in street clothes and wearing a ballcap.]

Troy: Lombardo came by, said you wanted to talk.

Ryan: Mmhmm. Have a seat.

[She covers the distance in three steps, then flops down in one of the chairs. Silence invades the room again and it's not long before Troy mirrors Ryan's pose, dropping her head to her hand and rapping her fingers on her crossed leg. The in-laws just stare at each other and finally, Troy starts to chuckle in disgust.]

Troy: The charlatan and his lackeys didn't show up, did they?

Ryan: He just cut a sattelite feed segment to that effect.

[She sighs, agitated.]

Troy: You can go ahead and color me the complete opposite of shocked, then.

Ryan: You expected anything less?

Troy: I expect nothing from Windham anymore. But, I expect something to be done about it.

Ryan: Something will be done, which is why I wanted to talk to you.

[Lindsay shakes her head, then slams her propped limb down upon the chair's arm, her face now the mask of anger that she's grown all-too accustomed to wearing.]

Troy: You want me to bail him out? That's what this is about, isn't it? After all this bullsh*t that's been going on for months, you want me to re-take his spot against Tremendous?

Ryan (calmly): We need a main event, Lindsay.

Troy: Then give the slot to K and Kazuo, or the tag teams. At least they all showed up when they were f*cking expected to.

Ryan: Tremendous has already been making the rounds in other companies with his belt*. It's only fitting that we give him the same accommodations that others have given him.

Troy: This is a special attraction BS match, Dan, and honestly, not really all that important in the grand scheme of things. You got him here to goad Windham, and now...SHOCK!GASP!...Windham's not here. The entire planet is simply astounded at this development. What's next? Late-breaking news that the sky is blue?

Ryan: I'm asking you for a favor.

Troy: And I'm asking you to take some stock in what's happening and have some accountability held. I've been pushed for far too long, and I started turning things around when I got that farcical restraining order pulled down. If you really, really need me out there tonight, I'm getting something in return.

[Ryan's eyebrow elevates in INTRIGUE~!, and a smile draws at the corner of his mouth.]

Ryan: What'd you have in mind?

Troy: This...everything...ends at WRESTLEVERSE. My match, my stips, my rules. Just me and Windham, no one else. He brings whatever marriage license he has, and I'll bring the divorce papers.

Ryan: So a ladder match then? No DQ, No Holds Barred, No Interference.

Troy: At its simplest, yes.

[The Queen of the Ring rises from her chair and looks down at her boss.]

Troy: But I have so much more planned for him.


[Cut back to ringside, on the air]

MN: This sucks! Two of my favorite wrestlers of all time and now there's not gonna be a match??

(CUE UP: "I ****ing Hate You" by Godsmack.)

(MASSIVE pop.)

DT: What?!?! No way!

DM: It’s the EPW World Heavyweight Champion! What the hell is she doing out here?

DT: Well, she certainly did not sound like she wanted to be facing The Professor this week, so I’m not too sure what she’s doing at all.

MN: Maybe she’s come out here to apologize and announce that she, too, will be joining Mr. Windham on his vacation. She’s his wife, after all.

DT: I doubt that’s going to happen, Neels.

(Troy climbs into the ring and stares at the Professor. She then nods to the ref, who calls for the bell.)


Professor Tremendous (c) vs. "Queen of the Ring" Lindsay Troy (c)


DT: What?!?! I guess that Lindsay Troy IS going to face Professor Tremendous here tonight!

DM: Well, this is certainly a treat for these fans here in Seattle! I can’t believe that they would try to deny this request at all!

DT: And they’re not, as they’re going nuts right now!


DT: The two competitors encircle each other here as they both step to the middle and lock up in a collar and elbow.

DM: And look at this! A stalemate! Troy has the height advantage, but Professor T has about fifty pounds on her!

DT: And now they break it up! These fans are going nuts here as these two have an enormous amount of tension that you can see dancing in their eyes!

MN: I’m not too sure about, Troy. It could just be pink eye. I hear she gets “infections” a lot.

DT: I’m not too sure about that, but these two are going to try it again. They step to the middle…

DM: And they’re still not going anywhere!

DT: Not so fast, Dean. Troy with a side headlock! She cranks on the Professor’s head, but now he backs her into the ropes and uses them as a springboard to press of the World Heavyweight Champ! Troy hits the opposite ropes and rebounds…

DM: Big shoulder block by Troy, but neither wrestler budges!

DT: She’s going to try it again, Dean. She bounces off the ropes again…

DM: But again they stand toe-to-toe!

DT: And Troy just won’t take no for an answer. She hits the ropes one more time…

DM: And she goes flying for that one and sends Professor Tremendous to the mat with a flying shoulder block!

DT: Troy quickly gets back to her feet and hits the ropes again…

DM: Big front-flip leg drop by Troy! She goes for the quick pin…




DT: Troy going for the early pinfall here, but to no avail. She stays on the offensive, though, and pulls Tremendous back up to his feet. Big knife-edge chop there as Tremendous stumbles back. Troy reaches back and nails him one more time as she backs the CSWA* champ into the ropes. She grabs him by the arm and gives him a whip across the ring…

DM: Textbook hurricanrana by Troy! She’s really showing Tremendous what life in EPW is really like.

DT: And now a standing shooting star press by the champ! She holds for the pin…



But Professor Tremendous kicks out again!

DM: Troy isn’t happy with the resiliency of Professor Tremendous at all, but she is not going to slow down on him at all.

DT: Absolutely not, as she pulls him back up to his feet again. There’s a stiff right hand. Followed by another!

MN: Ref! Can we stop these closed fists?!

DT: Well, the ref isn’t really saying anything and that’s not stopping the EPW World Heavyweight Champion! She nails him with another! She cocks back one more time…

DM: But Tremendous ducks! He steps through behind Troy.

DT: And Troy turns around right into a kick to the midsection, followed by a DDT!

DM: Professor Tremendous really came out of nowhere with that move, but it may have taken just a bit out of him as well, as both of the competitors are down now!

DT: The Good Professor won’t stay down long though, as he pulls himself back up with a little bit of help from the ropes. Troy is also getting back up…

DM: But Tremendous sends her right back down with a double axe handle to the back!

DT: Tremendous steps around behind the fallen Troy now. He reaches down and locks her in a vicious chinlock!

DM: Troy is screaming out in pain here as she tries her damndest to try and find the ropes to break this hold!

DT: She’s really stretching here. Can she…

DM: Yes! Troy gets to the ropes and The Professor must break the chinlock.

DT: But he’s not going to let Troy get back up to her feet cleanly! He drills her with a kick to the side of the head that sends her back to the mat.

MN: This guy is smart. I think I know why they call him Professor.

DT: You’re just now figuring that out?

MN: Oh yeah, like you knew already, Thomas.

DM: Well, actually-

MN: Can we get back to the action?

DT: Sure thing, Neels. Tremendous is pulling Troy back up here. He pulls her into a standing front facelock…

DM: Big sitdown front brainbuster by Tremendous!

DT: He’s got this one won! There’s the pin…




NO!!! Lindsay Troy JUST got her foot on the ropes!

MN: Are you sure? I think she was late!

DT: I’m not sure either, Neels. But it doesn’t matter what we think. The ref says she got the foot on the ropes, so there is no pin.

DM: And Tremendous is very frustrated here. He’s agreeing with you, Neels.

DT: But he’s not going to let it affect him as he pulls himself back up, followed by Troy. The champ swings a right, but Tremendous ducks it…

DM: German suplex! Tremendous bridges…



Kickout by Troy!

DT: Another nearfall, but the champ is able to get out of it again.

MN: Is the ref watching her shoulders or her boobs? This is ridiculous!

DT: Well, she was clearly up on that one.

MN: Says you and the ref. Pervs!

DT: Tremendous pulls Troy back up again now. But there’s a right to the midsection! And another! Lindsay Troy is trying to fight her way out of this…

DM: HUGE roundhouse kick there by Troy! Tremendous just crumpled to the mat like a ton of bricks! Both competitors go down as they try to regain their bearings!

DT: Well, they’re both stumbling up here as it looks like Tremendous is going to get the edge, but Troy isn’t far behind. They make one final shake of the cobwebs, but Troy is hitting the ropes! She rebounds…

DM: Front flip neckbreaker by Troy!

DT: And it’s like the champ has been totally revitalized here! She hops back to her feet and looks to have a lot of enthusiasm as she waits for Tremendous to get back to his feet…

DM: He’s up! Troy sneaks around behind him…

DT: Reverse suplex forward slam! Troy’ going to make the cover…




DM: Both of these competitors are going through their entire repertoire, but are also refusing to let the other get the pin!

DT: This has been one hell of a match, but I must say, I’m extremely anxious to see what it’s going to take just to get one of these two to stay down for a three count!

MN: And I’m anxious to see what it’s going to take to keep you from sounding like a damn fanboy every time Lindsay Troy steps into the ring!

DT: She’s the EPW World Heavyweight Champion, Neels! How could you not be excited?

MN: I see Lindsay Troy matches like a trip to the dentist. You always feel better afterward, but you never wanted to go in the first place.

DT: I don’t know about you, Neels. But what I do know is that Lindsay Troy has pulled Professor Tremendous back up again here. She whips Tremendous into the corner…

DM: And then follows him in with a big clothesline!

DT: And now Troy is picking Tremendous up to the top rope.

DM: She could be looking for the “All Hail the Queen” here.

DT: Troy climbs up with him…

DM: But Tremendous catches her with a right to the midsection! And another! He pushes Troy off the top rope!

DT: And now he perches as he waits on her to get back up…

DM: Rocker dropper! Tremendous just jumped off the top rope and nailed Troy with that Rocker dropper! There’s the pin…



3-NO! Troy JUST kicked out!

DT: I cannot believe this action! What is it going to take with these two?

DM: I’m not sure. Wonderful action here.

DT: Troy starts to stumble up now…

DM: But Tremendous sends her right back down with a bulldog!

DT: And now he’s hovering over the champ. Could it be…

DM: The Final Exam! Tremendous locks in that inverted STF!

DT: But look at that! Troy is instantly in the ropes for the break! Great awareness there by Lindsay Troy!

DM: And look at the frustration on The Professor’s face! He can’t believe that Troy got the break on that!

DT: Well, he pulls the champ back up here. He nails her with a stiff slap to the face as he backs her into the ropes! There’s an Irish whip…

DM: Spinning heel kick by Troy to reverse it! How did she do that?

DT: I have no idea, but she is clearly in control now! She makes her way back up as she looks to go to the corner here. She pulls herself to the top rope, where she waits on Tremendous to get back up…

DM: The Crowning Glory! Troy just nailed Tremendous with that corkscrew moonsault into a DDT! She’s going to make the pin…




MN: What?!?! Professor’s foot was on the ropes!

DT: I don’t think the referee saw it, Neels!

MN: Oh yeah, of course! But he saw when Troy’s foot was on there two seconds AFTER the three!

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… and NEW CSWA Unified* Champion… Lindsay Troy!

MN: I don’t believe this! This is a travesty! After the amazing effort that Tremendous put up against Troy Windham in Rio de Janeiro and then this wench comes in and steals the title in a match that wasn’t even scheduled! This was supposed to be the rematch!

DT: Actually, it was initially Troy versus Tremendous.

MN: But they changed it! It was supposed to be Tremendous/Windham II!

DT: I’m not too sure about the validity of Tremendous/Windham I.

MN: Of course you’re not. You’re always the one in question…

(CUE UP: She Blinded me With Science" by Thomas Dolby melding into "Rockafeller Skank" by Fatboy Slim.)

DT: What the hell? Why are they playing Professor Tremendous’s music?

MN: It’s another referee! And this time, it’s a CSWA “official”. Maybe we can get some justice here!

DM: That’s no referee! It’s the Team Tremendous midget! What the heck is he doing?

DT: Well, he’s got a microphone and he’s entering the ring.

(The midget looks to Troy and gives her a motion, as if to say “May I?”. Troy obliges and hands him the CSWA Unified* Title.)

Midget: Ladies and gentlemen, as the “official” CSWA referee on hand tonight, it gives me great pleasure to give to you, our NEW CSWA Unified* Champion…


DT: What? Troy just won the title!

(Troy stares at the midget in shock as he drapes the title over the still-fallen Prof T.)

Midget: Mrs. Troy-Windham, we at the CSWA would like to thank you for participating tonight and really lighting this EPW crowd on fire.

I really wish that I could grant you the belt after your three-count, but due to The Good Professor’s foot being on the ropes while the three was counted, I cannot honor this title switch.

Therefore, Professor Tremendous will continue as the CSWA Unified* Champion until your husband decides he wants a rematch. However, we do encourage you to try your hand again as well, as I’m sure that our champ would welcome you again, just like he does all comers.

(CUE UP: She Blinded me With Science" by Thomas Dolby melding into "Rockafeller Skank" by Fatboy Slim.)

DT: I don’t believe what I just saw! Lindsay Troy was just stripped of the CSWA Unified* Title!

DM: It looks like Professor Tremendous has stolen another win!

DT: Par for the course, Dean. The man doesn't know how to act honestly.

DM: Great match though! And it's hard to get upset about not winning a belt that's really not his to defend anyway.

DT: True enough, Dean. So Lindsay Troy standing tall tonight....

(Cut to Lindsay Troy leaning on the ropes looking at Team Tremendous as they back up the ramp with smiles on their faces. The fans boo them as they go, but erupt in cheers when Lindsay Troy thrusts her EPW World Title into the air and climbs a turnbuckle.)

DT: That's all from Seattle, Washington! Next week, Wrestleverse! For Dean Matthews and Mike Neely I'm Dave Thomas...good night!!

(Fade to copyright info)

Not open for further replies.

About FWrestling

FWrestling.com was founded in 1994 to promote a community of fantasy wrestling fans and leagues. Since then, we've hosted dozens of leagues and special events, and thousands of users. Come join and prove you're "Even Better Than The Real Thing."

Add Your League

If you want to help grow the community of fantasy wrestling creators, consider hosting your league here on FW. You gain access to message boards, Discord, your own web space and the ability to post pages here on FW. To discuss, message "Chad" here on FW Central.

What Is FW?

Take a look at some old articles that are still relevant regarding what fantasy wrestling is and where it came from.
  • Link: "What is FW?"
  • Top