John Doe
The Anorexic Ethiopian
FADEIN….
John Doe sitting at a table at Walt Disney world. He is wearing a black shirt with the Mickey Mouse logo in white. On top of his head Mickey Mouse ears as he picks up a oversized cheese burger and bites into it. The ketchup goes all over the place with the lettuce and tomatoes he cleans off his face with a napkin.
DOE: “Damn cheaply made sandwiches!”
He slams his fist on the table as his coke goes everywhere even on him. Doe jumps to his feet
DOE: “AH! I look like I pissed myself! God d*mn soda!”
The camera turn to show Donald Duck with a hand over his mouth pointing at Doe acting like he is laughing.
DOE: “Shut the hell up. You’re the idiot walking around dressed as a f*cking Duck.”
Doe starts to walk the park
DOE:
“God, 3 days in Disney world will drive a man mad. Now, I am not saying the rides are all that bad, I think I rode the Rockin Roller Coaster about 12 times and been in the tower of terror at lest 5. But so far the tea cups and it’s a small world after all are really in my top three”
“Not to say that this place is all that bad, it’s just the people you find floating around in the park that piss you off. Like I swear to God himself I saw Rocko Daymon riding a Merry-Go-Round. But hey who am I to say I saw him doing that.”
“But we can’t all forget Daymons' beautiful speech about me. I mean I heard the whole gimmick before. The whole ‘Pull your head out your ass and grow up’. I guess I have been kind of childish haven’t I Rocko. I am sorry I can’t compare to your caliber of adult. But one day I not only plan on succeeding that feat but pinning you in the ring.”
“And I am not going to be a jerk Rocko, look forward to seeing you in the ring. Just to show you what I have learned since out little encounter at Christmas Card, that was a close match but neither of us was a victor in that Battle Royal. And it seems it keeps ending like that Rocko, where neither of us can prove our true strength in the ring. Even at Ghoulish Games, we battled our little hearts out, neither of us could defeat the other. Ending in a count out.”
“Even though I know you would hate to admit it Rocko, we have more in common than you will ever know. We both strive for the best, and we never have defeated the other on a one on one basis. And one day I would like to prove how great of a show we can put. But the end result will be what we all would assume. Either a tie. Or I would win over the veteran. And I know you couldn’t stand to see either of them Rocko. Sadly enough you remind me of, well, me”
“But there is something else you remind me of. A slinky. Yes, that toy, you know…’It’s Slinky’ It’s Slinky’. Yeah, you and slinky click like cheese on fries. Do you know why Rock? Because slinky is cool, you can do anything with it. Until you bend it out of shape, and once slinky is bent, slinky ain’t gonna work the same. You Daymon are just like Slinky, you get in the ring, and the very second the tide turns, you lose thought, your mind slowly snaps, bending out of shape, then you are useless to your self and others. Once the smallest dent penetrates slinky it’s garbage.”
“Rocko, you keep idolizing the fact that I am no man, that I am full of crap, nothing more than a lip jacking-sh*t talker. Rocko, you were always good on contridicting yourself, just like that time that you said I should stop using excuses and in the end you were the one finding every excuse for your losses. And just like then...you do it again. By telling me I am the sh*t talker. YOU, the one some how accuses me of being full of ADD, YOU the one who says I am less than a man, YOU that says I am a fool. And I am the sh*t talker? Good God Rocko, how do you live with yourself?”
“Even in the midst of me doing something that everyone saw as impossible you still try to beat me down. Telling me that my victory over Douglas was feeble. FEEBLE DAYMON?! It is feeble when you face a man in the ring, it is feeble with you beat a man by pin. It is great when you defeat a man who knows you inside out, and you face him in his own game. Douglas was KNOWN for his abilities to defeat men in life altering situations, like an Inferno Match. He was the king of these in GWE. But you wouldn't know any of that would you Rocko? You focus on just attacking me constantly with your insulting promotions.”
“Rocko, like you said, you can rehash the same stuff I do, you can’t, because it won’t equal up to me, to my level."
"And frankly, I think you should be the one to put up or shut up Rocko."
"You were the one at Ghoulish Games talking yourself up so much, that I wouldn’t never be able to stop a man like you, that it would be quick and easy. Yet here we are and I stated the fact already, you haven’t beating me yet Rocko. You haven’t even came close to shutting me up as you so well claim, and even to that extent you still haven’t kicked my ass.”
“Here’s a News Flash for you Rocko: As I recall I was whooping your ass at Christmas Card, as I recall I kicked out after every attempt you made to defeat me. But hey like you said. No Excuses for not winning. Right Rock?”
“But enough about you Rocky boy. I think I am going to focus my attention on Mr. Cruise. And his good looking wife.”
“Let my ask you something Cruise, why are you running your mouth? Trying to show us you still got something in you, something that we should all fear? I am sorry Cruise I ain’t feeling it, all I feel is the hard on I get looking at your wife.”
“By the way Cammy, last time I counted there was more than four people in this match up…or did you some how forget what number is after 3?”
“But hey good for you I am glad you can show us you are on top of the game with racing cars, nice to know we got the next Jeff Gordon right here at WFW. But hell Cruise, I have total faith in you, in your ability to wrestle."
"And like you said, I have never defeated you in the ring. Which is a pitty, And you my friend I will truly say are one of the best that I have faced. But isn’t it time for a change, I mean we live in a world of change do we not? And that is exactly what is going to happen here. A majestic change, you falling to me, and I mutilating Rocko Daymon.”
“But I am not Ms. Cleo, and I am not going to fill you up with a spoon load of bull****. So let us just call this a gut feeling that John Doe is going to put on show like always. And if I pop out with a chance to fight for the title, then so be it. I plan on moving on, but I make no promises. But there is one thing I will guarantee either way win or lose you are coming down with me, and some time down the line I will see you again.”
“I may wave the checkered flag Cammy. But I think we all know who will be waving the white one at the end of this rumble.”
“Either way boys, I will see you around, in the ring or out of it. So I hope to hear from you again, so I can have a nice CIVIL talk with you.”
Ice Ice Baby starts to play over the speakers in the park.
DOE: "Oh yeah, this is my jam"
We fade on Doe mimicking Vanillia's dance from his music video of Ice Ice Baby, we all know it as the running man.
FADEOUT
John Doe sitting at a table at Walt Disney world. He is wearing a black shirt with the Mickey Mouse logo in white. On top of his head Mickey Mouse ears as he picks up a oversized cheese burger and bites into it. The ketchup goes all over the place with the lettuce and tomatoes he cleans off his face with a napkin.
DOE: “Damn cheaply made sandwiches!”
He slams his fist on the table as his coke goes everywhere even on him. Doe jumps to his feet
DOE: “AH! I look like I pissed myself! God d*mn soda!”
The camera turn to show Donald Duck with a hand over his mouth pointing at Doe acting like he is laughing.
DOE: “Shut the hell up. You’re the idiot walking around dressed as a f*cking Duck.”
Doe starts to walk the park
DOE:
“God, 3 days in Disney world will drive a man mad. Now, I am not saying the rides are all that bad, I think I rode the Rockin Roller Coaster about 12 times and been in the tower of terror at lest 5. But so far the tea cups and it’s a small world after all are really in my top three”
“Not to say that this place is all that bad, it’s just the people you find floating around in the park that piss you off. Like I swear to God himself I saw Rocko Daymon riding a Merry-Go-Round. But hey who am I to say I saw him doing that.”
“But we can’t all forget Daymons' beautiful speech about me. I mean I heard the whole gimmick before. The whole ‘Pull your head out your ass and grow up’. I guess I have been kind of childish haven’t I Rocko. I am sorry I can’t compare to your caliber of adult. But one day I not only plan on succeeding that feat but pinning you in the ring.”
“And I am not going to be a jerk Rocko, look forward to seeing you in the ring. Just to show you what I have learned since out little encounter at Christmas Card, that was a close match but neither of us was a victor in that Battle Royal. And it seems it keeps ending like that Rocko, where neither of us can prove our true strength in the ring. Even at Ghoulish Games, we battled our little hearts out, neither of us could defeat the other. Ending in a count out.”
“Even though I know you would hate to admit it Rocko, we have more in common than you will ever know. We both strive for the best, and we never have defeated the other on a one on one basis. And one day I would like to prove how great of a show we can put. But the end result will be what we all would assume. Either a tie. Or I would win over the veteran. And I know you couldn’t stand to see either of them Rocko. Sadly enough you remind me of, well, me”
“But there is something else you remind me of. A slinky. Yes, that toy, you know…’It’s Slinky’ It’s Slinky’. Yeah, you and slinky click like cheese on fries. Do you know why Rock? Because slinky is cool, you can do anything with it. Until you bend it out of shape, and once slinky is bent, slinky ain’t gonna work the same. You Daymon are just like Slinky, you get in the ring, and the very second the tide turns, you lose thought, your mind slowly snaps, bending out of shape, then you are useless to your self and others. Once the smallest dent penetrates slinky it’s garbage.”
“Rocko, you keep idolizing the fact that I am no man, that I am full of crap, nothing more than a lip jacking-sh*t talker. Rocko, you were always good on contridicting yourself, just like that time that you said I should stop using excuses and in the end you were the one finding every excuse for your losses. And just like then...you do it again. By telling me I am the sh*t talker. YOU, the one some how accuses me of being full of ADD, YOU the one who says I am less than a man, YOU that says I am a fool. And I am the sh*t talker? Good God Rocko, how do you live with yourself?”
“Even in the midst of me doing something that everyone saw as impossible you still try to beat me down. Telling me that my victory over Douglas was feeble. FEEBLE DAYMON?! It is feeble when you face a man in the ring, it is feeble with you beat a man by pin. It is great when you defeat a man who knows you inside out, and you face him in his own game. Douglas was KNOWN for his abilities to defeat men in life altering situations, like an Inferno Match. He was the king of these in GWE. But you wouldn't know any of that would you Rocko? You focus on just attacking me constantly with your insulting promotions.”
“Rocko, like you said, you can rehash the same stuff I do, you can’t, because it won’t equal up to me, to my level."
"And frankly, I think you should be the one to put up or shut up Rocko."
"You were the one at Ghoulish Games talking yourself up so much, that I wouldn’t never be able to stop a man like you, that it would be quick and easy. Yet here we are and I stated the fact already, you haven’t beating me yet Rocko. You haven’t even came close to shutting me up as you so well claim, and even to that extent you still haven’t kicked my ass.”
“Here’s a News Flash for you Rocko: As I recall I was whooping your ass at Christmas Card, as I recall I kicked out after every attempt you made to defeat me. But hey like you said. No Excuses for not winning. Right Rock?”
“But enough about you Rocky boy. I think I am going to focus my attention on Mr. Cruise. And his good looking wife.”
“Let my ask you something Cruise, why are you running your mouth? Trying to show us you still got something in you, something that we should all fear? I am sorry Cruise I ain’t feeling it, all I feel is the hard on I get looking at your wife.”
“By the way Cammy, last time I counted there was more than four people in this match up…or did you some how forget what number is after 3?”
“But hey good for you I am glad you can show us you are on top of the game with racing cars, nice to know we got the next Jeff Gordon right here at WFW. But hell Cruise, I have total faith in you, in your ability to wrestle."
"And like you said, I have never defeated you in the ring. Which is a pitty, And you my friend I will truly say are one of the best that I have faced. But isn’t it time for a change, I mean we live in a world of change do we not? And that is exactly what is going to happen here. A majestic change, you falling to me, and I mutilating Rocko Daymon.”
“But I am not Ms. Cleo, and I am not going to fill you up with a spoon load of bull****. So let us just call this a gut feeling that John Doe is going to put on show like always. And if I pop out with a chance to fight for the title, then so be it. I plan on moving on, but I make no promises. But there is one thing I will guarantee either way win or lose you are coming down with me, and some time down the line I will see you again.”
“I may wave the checkered flag Cammy. But I think we all know who will be waving the white one at the end of this rumble.”
“Either way boys, I will see you around, in the ring or out of it. So I hope to hear from you again, so I can have a nice CIVIL talk with you.”
Ice Ice Baby starts to play over the speakers in the park.
DOE: "Oh yeah, this is my jam"
We fade on Doe mimicking Vanillia's dance from his music video of Ice Ice Baby, we all know it as the running man.
FADEOUT
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