PaulNJ21
I shunned a voodoo witch, decapitated a black cat
(TAPED EARLIER IN THE DAY AT THE HOME OF EL ARCO IRIS)
Black Rose: El Arco Iris, my first question is the question on everyone's mind. Why the sudden change in attitude? What happened to the El Arco Iris we knew and loved?
El Arco Iris: (cracks a smile, lets out a chuckle, then reaches underneath his chair, bringing out the WFW North American title belt) ...You see this, dear Black Rose? You see how this is an actual title belt worth something?
Black Rose: The WFW North American Title, yes.
Iris: Now, how long has El Arco Iris been a member of World's Finest Wrestling? Refresh my memory.
Black Rose: About a year and a half, I believe.
Iris: And El Arco Iris sure has gotten plenty of chances at titles before, is El Arco Iris correct?
Black Rose: One other shot at the North American Title and one at the World Heavyweight Title, if I recall.
Iris: So, think, dear Black Rose, what has been the one difference between all those other times and this time, when El Arco Iris has finally won this strap? Just ponder it for a second...
Black Rose: Interference from the Inner Circle?
Iris: Wha-WHAT? (Makes some flabbergasted snorting noises) NO! You're obviously not thinking hard enough! FOCUS!
(Black Rose pauses for a second.)
Iris: Gah! Fine, El Arco Iris will think for you! Let El Arco Iris put it like this...Remember your first girlfriend? Remember when your young heart was just filled to the brim with the thrill of romance for the very first time? YOU CANNOT WAIT to unload every ounce of romantic affection on your love on that girl who has given you the privilege of being her chosen one. You spend every hour thinking about nothing but that which makes your very soul glow with joy...
(Iris begins to stare off into the distance, as if lost in thought)
But then, all of a sudden, when things just seem to be going great...the night right after what seems to be the perfect date...she calls you up and breaks it off, just like that. And you know why? Because you LIKED her too much! She wasn't ready for the kind of unrelenting adoration you wanted to give her every second you set your loving gaze upon her countenance!
(El Arco Iris's body starts shaking violently as he continues speaking)
SHE CALLS IT ALL OFF BECAUSE YOU WERE WILLING TO JUST GIVE WAY TOO MUCH, YOU F(BLEEP)ED IT UP BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN EXCESSES! *Sniff*...That's what happened, dear, dear, Black Rose. Except the TREACHEROUS HARLOT in this equation is the bleating mass of backwards, slack-jawed troglodytes that World's Finest Wrestling DARES call fans!
Black Rose: But the fans LOVED you. You were one of the most popular wrestlers in WFW, if not THE most popular. What could the fans have done to anger you?
Iris: You want to know? Really? ...They MADE EL ARCO IRIS LOVE THEM BACK.
TokAngel (9:19:41 PM): At every turn, the smiling children, the adoring parents, the cheering and chanting...It mentally sabotaged El Arco Iris. They made El Arco Iris give everything El Arco Iris got into making them happy...and El Arco Iris thought they were happy...but they just drained El Arco Iris of everything, there was no chance of El Arco Iris succeeding in the first place!
Black Rose: But how can the fans be responsible for your problems? The fans loved the last World Heavyweight champion, Michael Manson. The fans love the current World Heavyweight champion, Copycat.
(El Arco Iris stands up to make his anguished proclamation)
Iris: EL ARCO IRIS DID A SHOOTING STAR PRESS OFF OF ABRAHAM LINCOLNS MOTHER-F(BLEEP)ING KNEE. WHY WOULD ANY SANE PERSON DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?! El Arco Iris was pushed past the bounds of sanity simply in the pursuit of giving these mongoloids something cool to look at, something to make them happy! But El Arco Iris gets pinned in that match. You know, some people who aren't savvy to professional wrestling would think having one's head smashed in steel cage doors and slammed on concrete would kill brain cells...But the exact opposite happened with El Arco Iris. El Arco Iris LEARNED a very...VERY valuable lesson, and that lesson is that the only person ever worth making happy in this plane of existence is...yourself. You ditch trying to please everyone, and it pays dividends...nice, shiny, gold-and-leather dividends.
Black Rose: And that's what this is all about. Caring only about yourself.
Iris: Hey...that's just how the world works...it took a pretty long while for that piece of truth to hit El Arco Iris, it may take longer for it to hit you, Black Rose. Much like a main character in a certain novel by Albert Camus, El Arco Iris has found El Arco Iris' own release, and discovered that even with thousands of people calling for your head... (Flashes a half-hearted smile once again) you can still be quite happy.
Black Rose: Well, if that is why you turned your back on the fans...Why turn your back on your friend, Copycat?
Iris: Copycat... (Expectorates to the side) ...that man is the most treacherous of all of them! El Arco Iris tried so hard to be his friend, to maybe open up his heart, cloud his eyes with the same sunshine-colored haze that filled mine...But he was POLLUTED with conceit! El Arco Iris could try and try and try, but no, he was too worried about getting his "respect." What a load of nonsense! Respect is simply a euphemism for fear, and if you can't expose people's hearts to happiness, you will never open them to fear, because in the end they all end up in the same confused swirl of emotions that is the human psyche. And now Copycat has his world title...El Arco Iris is glad for him. Really, no, El Arco Iris is absolutely ecstatic for Copycat for winning that title...because the more euphoric satisfaction he gets from having completed his heroic quest, the harder it will hit him when the emptiness of it all finally reveals himself.
(Iris looks straight into the camera)
Because even with the title, nobody will fear you, and nobody will respect you. El Arco Iris got this belt when El Arco Iris finally went into the game thinking of nothing but what mattered to El Arco Iris, but even when you don't pander to the sheep as disgustingly as El Arco Iris did, you still cravenly sought out their attention, and it WILL be your downfall.
Black Rose: So the fact that Copycat succeeded in defeating Manson for the title, whereas you did not...that wasn't a factor?
Iris: ...Look here. (Iris raises his hands towards one side)
(Iris roundhouse kicks Black Rose in the back of the head with the opposite side leg.)
Iris: (looks in the camera.)...El Arco Iris thinks it's safe to say this interview is over. Buh-bye now!
(ANNOUNCERS' BOOTH)
JONATHAN MARX: There is no call to nearly knock off Black Rose's head.
VIC WATERS: I saw him backstage with a big black eye earlier tonight and he was trying to get the swelling down with a piece of meat.
JONATHAN MARX: We still have all those order of excess meat being delievered from when we thought Maelstrom was going to be around for awhile.
VIC WATERS: But getting back to El Arco Iris, I thought what he said made a lot of sense.
JONATHAN MARX: I can understand what drove him to this point, that loss at Cherry Blossom Chaos where Rat Fink single handedly cost him the title was enough to drive anyone over the edge. But it was just a matter of time before El Arco Iris won the title, he didn't need to turn his back on the fans.
BRANDON JACOBS: A title can drive people to do crazy things and I have a feeling there are a lot more crazy things to come. Folks, we have to take a commercial break, but when we comeback, Rabesque, Dodd, and Benjamin will team up to take on the Cameron Cruise Project and Rocko Daymon.... STAY TUNED!