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WFW Merrython: Mighty Impala vs. Golden Hawk

PaulNJ21

I shunned a voodoo witch, decapitated a black cat
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BRANDON JACOBS: We are back and it is time for the return of one of two men returning after a decade away from World’s Finest Wrestling, he one and only Golden Hawk but he is going to have a hell of a challenge tonight because he will go one on one with the man who made Pulsar’s life miserable, the Mighty Impala.

JONATHAN MARX: Pulsar is just now putting the pieces of his life together after a horrific ordeal where Mighty Impala had his sister imprisoned for a month and a half using his diplomatic immunity to avoid any punishment from the law.

VIC WATERS: In a post 9/11 world, you have to examine everyone closely. You never know who is a terrorist and who isn’t and Mighty Impala was just closely just doing his duty as a patriot. You can’t trust anyone who talks funny.

JONATHAN MARX: Pulsar is from Australia. Since when has Australia ever done anything to us?

VIC WATERS: You have to becareful or next thing you know, Suicide Kangaroos are all over town causing chaos.

JONATHAN MARX: You know, you make me want to pull out my hair.

VIC WATERS: Don’t worry, if you are anything like your father, it will grow back three times as fast.

BRANDON JACOBS: Golden Hawk hasn’t been one to shy away taking things into his own hands either. He and his trusty sidekick Dick have already caused problems from both Maelstrom & Manson in their relatively short stay here.

VIC WATERS: How do we know Golden Hawk isn’t one of those illegal aliens?

JONATHAN MARX: I don’t see any antennas coming out of his head.

VIC WATERS: I mean one of those illegal Mexican, he is from Texas and all and he is so old Texas may not have even officially been a state when he arrived.

JONATHAN MARX: Louisiana is not Texas. You are giving me a headache Vic.

BRANDON JACOBS: There is only one way to settle this international incident, lets send this match to ringside and get this underway!

(CUEUP: “Cote D'Ivoire National Anthem”)

RING ANNOUNCER: Introducing first, from deepest, darkest Africa, a diplomat at the UN and an African Prince…. MIGHTY IMPALA!

::Might Impala walks down in his robe with his nose up at everyone and enters the ring, he then folds his robe in four and hands it to the ring attendant::

RING ANNOUNCER: And his opponent, a former NGEN alumni and Mr. Vicious Champion, one of the toughest men in all of wrestling…. GOLDEN HAWK!

::Golden Hawk walks down to the ring with Dick and enters the ring::

*bell rings*

BRANDON JACOBS: Mighty Impala is asking the referee to check to see if Golden Hawk’s hands are sanitary before they lock up.

JONATHAN MARX: Of all the pretentious things to do…

VIC WATERS: With the flu vaccine in limited supply and everyone sick, you can’t take any chances.

BRANDON JACOBS: The referee is arguing with Mighty Impala that he isn’t going to waste everyone’s time with this garbage but Golden Hawk steps in and says that he’ll comply with Mighty Impala silly little demand if this will get this match going any quicker…. Golden Hawk shows his hand to Mighty Impala…. AND HE NAILS HIM WITH AN OPEN HAND SLAP RIGHT ACROSS THE FACE!

VIC WATERS: Golden Hawk can’t do that to an African Prince!

JONATHAN MARX: But he did!

BRANDON JACOBS: GOLDEN HAWK CHARGES MIGHTY IMPALA WITH A FLURRY OF PUNCHES RIGHT IN THE FACE!

VIC WATERS: Mighty Impala isn’t going to be able to attend meetings at the UN if his face is all black and blue.

BRANDON JACOBS: GOLDEN HAWK IS ROCKING MIGHTY IMPALA! Golden Hawk grabs the arm of Mighty Impala and goes to whip him off the ropes… NO! MIGHTY IMPALA GRABS THE ROPES AND MIGHTY IMPALA REFUSES TO GO ANYWHERE!

JONATHAN MARX: Very quick reactions by Mighty Impala…

BRANDON JACOBS: MIGHTY IMPALA RAKES THE EYES OF GOLDEN HAWK WITH THOSE MANICURED FINGERNAILS OF HIM!

JONATHAN MARX: Those aren’t manicured, those are sharpened.
VIC WATERS: Mighty Impala has to defend himself from roughens like Golden Hawk who are jealous of his wealth and status.

BRANDON JACOBS: Mighty Impala grabs the arm of Golden Hawk…. AND HE GRABS THE RIGHT ARM OF GOLDEN HAWK AND STARTS WRINGING THE ARM YANKING IT LIKE HE IS TRYING TO PULL IT OUT OF ITS SOCKET!

JONATHAN MARX: There is absolutely no need for this.

VIC WATERS: Golden Hawk was the one who raised a fist to him, Mighty Impala is making sure that it never happens again.

BRANDON JACOBS: Mighty Impala continues to yank on the arm…. GOLDEN HAWK SPITS RIGHT IN THE FACE OF MIGHTY IMPALA!

JONATHAN MARX: Oh man!

BRANDON JACOBS: MIGHTY IMPALA TACKLES GOLDEN HAWK AND STARTS PUNCHING AWAY TO THE HEAD OF GOLDEN HAWK!

JONATHAN MARX: This is totally uncharacteristic of Mighty Impala, Golden Hawk appears to have gotten him out of his game.

VIC WATERS: Mighty Impala had to calm down.

BRANDON JACOBS: GOLDEN HAWK FLIPS HIM OVER AND HE STARTS PUNCHING AWAY ON MIGHTY IMPALA ON HIS OWN! GOLDEN HAWK STARTS CHOKING MIGHTY IMPALA OUT WITH HIS SHIN AND GOLDEN HAWK IS GOING TO WORK ALREADY ON THAT NECK TO SETUP THE REVERSE NECKBREAKER!

JONATHAN MARX: Even if doesn’t get to the neck breaker, if he can do enough damage to the throat of Mighty Impala, he can reduce his air supply and take the age difference between these two away.

VIC WATERS: While I may not like Golden Hawk, he is still keeps himself in remarkable shape and considering everything he has been through, it is a miracle that he is still alive.

BRANDON JACOBS: Mighty Impala is whispering loudly at the referee to get Golden Hawk off his throat but he is choking him out! THE REF IS PUTTING A COUNT ON GOLDEN HAWK! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! Golden Hawk breaks right before the five but it appears the damage has been done.

VIC WATERS: Did the referee not notice that was a choke or something? These refs simply don’t want Mighty Impala to win.
JONATHAN MARX: I don’t know whether that is true or not, but Mighty Impala rubbed a lot of people inside and outside of the ring wrong with what he did to Pulsar’s sister. There is a certain line you don’t cross in this business when use a person’s family to get at them and don’t think people didn’t notice that.

VIC WATERS: Good patriots always get punished.

BRANDON JACOBS: Golden Hawk is up and he is picking up Mighty Impala who trying to catch his breath… MIGHTY IMPALA GOES FOR GOLDEN HAWK’S THROAT WITH BOTH HANDS BUT GOLDEN HAWK KICKS IN THE MIDSECTION BEFORE HE CAN GET IT LOCKED ON! Golden Hawk locks on the front face lock…. DDT BY GOLDEN HAWK!

JONATHAN MARX: Golden Hawk has clearly taken Mighty Impala out of his game and he can’t get his temper under control and his great strength is his intelligence and he can’t think straight if he lets his anger take over.

BRANDON JACOBS: GOLDEN HAWK IS GOING FOR THE COVER! The ref goes down to count! 1------------------------------------------------------2-------------------------- MIGHTY IMPALA GETS THE SHOULDER UP!

VIC WATERS: Mighty Impala isn’t going to fall that easily.

JONATHAN MARX: If Mighty Impala stands a chance, he needs to change the momentum of this match and as soon as possible. Golden Hawk is using his experience at pissing people off to his advantage and nobody does it better than Golden Hawk.

VIC WATERS: You have to know how to push your opponents’ buttons and make them react how you want them to react.

BRANDON JACOBS: Golden Hawk gets up and he picks Mighty Impala off of the mat…. GOLDEN HAWK IS SETTING FOR A PILEDRIVER!

JONATHAN MARX: Golden Hawk has been working on lowering the stamina of Mighty Impala, now if he dull his senses a bit with this piledriver, he might be able to keep him down to get the pin.

BRANDON JACOBS: GOLDEN HAWK GRABS THE BACK OF MIGHTY IMPALA’S TIGHTS AND HE LIFTS HIM UP IN THE AIR….. GOLDEN HAWK SPIKES MIGHTY IMPALA INTO THE MAT WITH THE PILEDRIVER AND THIS MAY BE IT FOR MIGHTY IMPALA!

JONATHAN MARX: The ref is going down for the count!

BRANDON JACOBS: Golden Hawk drapes himself over Mighty Impala…. 1-----------------------------------------------------2---------------------------- MIGHTY IMPALA HOOKS THE ARMS OF GOLDEN HAWK AND HE ROLLS THEM DOWN TO THE MAT! 1-----------------------------------------------------------2------------------------------------ GOLDEN HAWK KICKS OUT!

VIC WATERS: Mighty Impala, having been taught at some of the finest wrestling schools around the globe, saw an opportunity to get a pin and he nearly had it because of Golden Hawk’s arrogance.

JONATHAN MARX: Golden Hawk has a southern swagger to him that he takes with him into that ring but it is part of what makes him so good.

BRANDON JACOBS: Golden Hawk gets up…. HE CHARGES MIGHTY IMPALA WITH A CLOTHESLINE BUT MIGHTY IMPALA DUCKS UNDER! Mighty Impala locks on a full nelson from behind….. DRAGON SUPLEX ON GOLDEN HAWK AND GOLDEN HAWK’S HEAD SMASHED LIKE A COCONUT WHEN HE LANDED ON THE MAT!

VIC WATERS: Mighty Impala is starting to turn it back on. The only question is if it is too late or not.

BRANDON JACOBS: MIGHTY IMPALA IS GOING FOR THE PIN! The ref goes down to count! 1-------------------------------------------------------------2------------------------------------------- GOLDEN HAWK KICKS OUT AGAIN!

VIC WATERS: Almost had him. Mighty Impala has to find a way to keep Golden Hawk down.

BRANDON JACOBS: MIGHTY IMPALA GETS UP AND HE IS RACING FOR THE TURNBUCKLE! He is climbing up to the top…. Golden Hawk is slowly getting up….. GOLDEN HAWK TURNS AROUND AND MIGHTY IMPALA HITS HIM WITH A TOP ROPE DROPKICK TO THE SHOULDER WHICH SENDS GOLDEN HAWK HALF WAY ACROSS THE RING WHEN HE CONNECTED!

JONATHAN MARX: Mighty Impala got major air on that dropkick and not only that, when he connected, he had a huge impact on Golden Hawk.

VIC WATERS: You can’t come from superior genetics like Mighty Impala and not be great.

JONATHAN MARX: Royal families intermarry so much, there is no difference between them or a family from some hick town like Mayberry.

BRANDON JACOBS: GOLDEN HAWK IS CLUTCHING HIS RIBS! Mighty Impala crawls over to Golden Hawk…. MIGHTY IMPALA IS GOING FOR THE PIN! The ref goes down to count! 1---------------------------------------------------------2---------------------------- GOLDEN HAWK GETS THE SHOULDER UP AT THE LAST FRACTION OF A SECOND!

VIC WATERS: DAMN IT! What does Mighty Impala have to do to keep Golden Hawk down?

JONATHAN MARX: Maybe Mighty Impala has a over the shoulder missile launcher in his trunks.

BRANDON JACOBS: Mighty Impala is yelling at the referee for the slow count and he is telling him that if he doesn’t speed up, he may find have to investigate if the referee has any terrorists in his family!

JONATHAN MARX: There is no reason to do things like that, Mighty Impala should just focus on the match at hand instead of abusing poorly paid lowly referees.

BRANDON JACOBS: Mighty Impala picks Golden Hawk up off the mat….. DOUBLE ARM DDT!

JONATHAN MARX: We all know what that is a setup for, Diplomacy in Action!

VIC WATERS: If he locks that on Golden Hawk, I don’t care how tough he is, after all the abuse he has taken tonight, he is going to cry uncle because he doesn’t want to hurt his chances in the tag tournament by suffering an injury here tonight.

JONATHAN MARX: Golden Hawk isn’t thinking about that right now. He is thinking about doing whatever is necessary to get the win. He wants to show all of the fans from the old NGEN and those watching for the first time tonight that he can still go with the best of them.

BRANDON JACOBS: MIGHTY IMPALA IS SIGNALING FOR THE DIPLOMACY IN ACTION AND THIS CROWD IS BOOING OUT OF HIM!

VIC WATERS: These fans have no respect for people that are superior to them. They just need to get over and realize their place.

JONATHAN MARX: These fans may not be the kings of their own kingdom, but they are the kings of our kingdom and if Mighty Impala doesn’t like it, he should get out.

BRANDON JACOBS: Golden Hawk is dazed and Mighty Impala is waiting behind him for him to get up… MIGHTY IMPALA IS YELLING AT GOLDEN HAWK TO GET UP!
JONATHAN MARX: Golden Hawk looks like he has one foot in the grave right now.

VIC WATERS: Mighty Impala has had the momentum for awhile giving him all that he has. It doesn’t matter what are you are, when Mighty Impala does that to you, you are cooked.

BRANDON JACOBS: GOLDEN HAWK IS GETTING UP…. MIGHTY IMPALA GOES FOR THE ARM OF GOLDEN HAWK BUT GOLDEN HAWK TAKES HIM DOWN TO THE MAT IN FRONT OF HIM WITH A SNAP MARE TAKEDOWN AND MIGHTY IMPALA LANDS ON HIS BEHIND! Golden Hawk is signaling for his finisher!

VIC WATERS: How did Golden Hawk know Mighty Impala was there?

JONATHAN MARX: Golden Hawk is running on instinct. That has to send shivers down the spine of Mighty Impala when he crashed on the mat. Mighty Impala was caught totally off guard!

BRANDON JACOBS: GOLDEN HAWK RUSHES TO GET UP AND HE LOCKS A REVERSE NECKBREAKER ON MIGHT IMPALA…. HE HITS IT!

JONATHAN MARX: Golden Hawk may have him!

BRANDON JACOBS: Golden Hawk goes for the cover and the ref goes down for the count! 1---------------------------------------------------------2---------------------------------3! GOLDEN HAWK DID IT!

RING ANNOUNCER: The winner of the match…… GOLDEN HAWK!

JONATHAN MARX: Mighty Impala had Golden Hawk against the wall and almost had him beat several times but Golden Hawk found a way to squeak this one out.

VIC WATERS: Mighty Impala will pay him back if it is the last thing he does and we all know what he did to Pulsar. He could have won this match several times if the ref simply learned how to count without having off his damn shoes.

BRANDON JACOBS: Folks, we have to take a commercial break, when we comeback, Golem and the Noble Sheik team up take on John Doe & Pulsar….. STAY TUNED EVERYONE!
 

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