PaulNJ21
I shunned a voodoo witch, decapitated a black cat
This is a first round match in the WFW World Tag Tournament. The Angle/RP deadline is Sunday, April 17th 11:59 PM EST. Send all angles to pmiller21@gmail.com
WFW Great Expectations: Cameron Cruise Project vs. Troy Douglas & Bryan Storms
- Thread starter PaulNJ21
- Start date
Steve
the EX-QUEEN of FW~!
Re: WFW Great Expectations: Cameron Cruise Project vs. Troy Douglas & Bryan Storms
(FADEIN: Joey Melton in front of a WFW backdrop.)
MELTON: Put aside the rumors, nearly all not outlandish enough, about the Cameron Cruise Project and know one thing’s true. We never had to cheat. We didn’t have to walk into an office and ask a daydreamer to write personalities for us. Cameron and I didn’t sit back and approve design sketches, or bounce winning slogans off one another. We’re sure as hell not a couple goons high on method acting, living our gimmick 24/7; Afraid of being seen in public with the wrong person, or answering our phone outside of our moniker. Maybe calling the Power Master late at night is good for a laugh, but Cammy and I, we’re not locked in a box, enslaved to the religion of our entertainment.
We’re not the King Of Extreme.
We’re not more bankable than Jesus.
And neither Cam or I, are The Greatest American Hero.
We’re just two guys who get laid more than all the men in the state of Rhode Island, who compliment each other in-ring like a hot, wet ****** and a dick. Maybe at this point in my career I can’t do it alone, but I can sleep fine at night saying that. I need Cruise. When nobody else wanted to show a recovering drug addict some love, Cameron stepped to the plate. And let’s be honest, my boy ain’t done jack without me. That’s the beauty of the Cameron Cruise Project. We’re the only ****ing team in this sport who works together.
My boy and I, we’ve given this business it’s first taste of what a real team looks like since…well, let’s be honest. Since I took some Melton wannabe named Peyton Wright and made his little virgin ass a winner. We sell out an arena and make the show, and promoters from Greensboro to Tokyo Fedex Mercedes a blank check and ask one question.
“When can you show?”
Maybe the art of tag teaming has been lost, maybe…Cruise and I are just a second-rate joke being told over, and over again because nobody else has the stage presence to withstand the spotlight. But we ****ing do business, and in this game, when business is good your legit.
Ryan stiffed my ass in EPW because he’s got a barrel of teams on the ready to be sold to the Project in-ring. And, our dear beloved WFW, whoever the hell is in charge here—is it still Felix Red or have they gotten Alf out of his contract?—decides the company needs a tag division. Sixteen teams, and Cruise and I are supposed to divide the loaf of bread and feed the masses. Seven matches left on my deal…guess they figured I might as well teach some of the boys how to put one foot in front of the other.
If that’s not enough…they bring in Calvin Carlton and his first love: Two white people.
Calvin…I forgave you for dropping me for Eddy Love. But, a tennis racket and two former Wal-Mart Greeters won’t get the job done. This here tournament, it’s our show. But it’s played well when there’s a story to tell. “Big Black Woman Bites The Hand That Fed Her Last Year.”
But this week it’s not minimum wage warriors, and Uncle Tom. It’s about Troy Douglas and the name he drew out of a hat.
I know you came to the old shows in the Auditorium in Greensboro Troy. I know you, still, have an “Arrogance” poster on your bedroom wall. And I remember breaking in your little sister while I sent you off on the Tour of CS Towers. I made you Douglas. I gave you the inspiration, the bar to shoot for, and now…I’m about to teach you one final lesson. Wanting to be a legend, and having a legacy are two different things.
What’s left for the Cameron Cruise Project?
We’ve been champions of the world. We’ve been named Tag Team Of The Year. We’ve sold thousands of dollars of merchandise with little, to no effort. By just being good. But, I hear the rumors that Cruise wants to end his free ride, that he wants to chase Gold over the hill alone.
What’s left for the Cameron Cruise Project?
Alf’s thrown down the challenge to master what we’ve created. God created Man then unleashed a flood for 40 days, and 40 nights proving he was still champ. That’s what we’re looking to do here.
One day my contract will expire, and when it does you can bet your ass the man behind the curtain wants to see the torch passed…he wants to be selling the team that destroyed the two beautiful people that could. As long as Cameron’s mind is where it should be, and he’s not selling me out for personal glory…the WFW’s gonna be **** out of luck.
These fifteen teams are the product of our success.
But there’s not an Ark fit to hide you from the beating we’re about to deliver.
(FTB)
(FADEIN: Joey Melton in front of a WFW backdrop.)
MELTON: Put aside the rumors, nearly all not outlandish enough, about the Cameron Cruise Project and know one thing’s true. We never had to cheat. We didn’t have to walk into an office and ask a daydreamer to write personalities for us. Cameron and I didn’t sit back and approve design sketches, or bounce winning slogans off one another. We’re sure as hell not a couple goons high on method acting, living our gimmick 24/7; Afraid of being seen in public with the wrong person, or answering our phone outside of our moniker. Maybe calling the Power Master late at night is good for a laugh, but Cammy and I, we’re not locked in a box, enslaved to the religion of our entertainment.
We’re not the King Of Extreme.
We’re not more bankable than Jesus.
And neither Cam or I, are The Greatest American Hero.
We’re just two guys who get laid more than all the men in the state of Rhode Island, who compliment each other in-ring like a hot, wet ****** and a dick. Maybe at this point in my career I can’t do it alone, but I can sleep fine at night saying that. I need Cruise. When nobody else wanted to show a recovering drug addict some love, Cameron stepped to the plate. And let’s be honest, my boy ain’t done jack without me. That’s the beauty of the Cameron Cruise Project. We’re the only ****ing team in this sport who works together.
My boy and I, we’ve given this business it’s first taste of what a real team looks like since…well, let’s be honest. Since I took some Melton wannabe named Peyton Wright and made his little virgin ass a winner. We sell out an arena and make the show, and promoters from Greensboro to Tokyo Fedex Mercedes a blank check and ask one question.
“When can you show?”
Maybe the art of tag teaming has been lost, maybe…Cruise and I are just a second-rate joke being told over, and over again because nobody else has the stage presence to withstand the spotlight. But we ****ing do business, and in this game, when business is good your legit.
Ryan stiffed my ass in EPW because he’s got a barrel of teams on the ready to be sold to the Project in-ring. And, our dear beloved WFW, whoever the hell is in charge here—is it still Felix Red or have they gotten Alf out of his contract?—decides the company needs a tag division. Sixteen teams, and Cruise and I are supposed to divide the loaf of bread and feed the masses. Seven matches left on my deal…guess they figured I might as well teach some of the boys how to put one foot in front of the other.
If that’s not enough…they bring in Calvin Carlton and his first love: Two white people.
Calvin…I forgave you for dropping me for Eddy Love. But, a tennis racket and two former Wal-Mart Greeters won’t get the job done. This here tournament, it’s our show. But it’s played well when there’s a story to tell. “Big Black Woman Bites The Hand That Fed Her Last Year.”
But this week it’s not minimum wage warriors, and Uncle Tom. It’s about Troy Douglas and the name he drew out of a hat.
I know you came to the old shows in the Auditorium in Greensboro Troy. I know you, still, have an “Arrogance” poster on your bedroom wall. And I remember breaking in your little sister while I sent you off on the Tour of CS Towers. I made you Douglas. I gave you the inspiration, the bar to shoot for, and now…I’m about to teach you one final lesson. Wanting to be a legend, and having a legacy are two different things.
What’s left for the Cameron Cruise Project?
We’ve been champions of the world. We’ve been named Tag Team Of The Year. We’ve sold thousands of dollars of merchandise with little, to no effort. By just being good. But, I hear the rumors that Cruise wants to end his free ride, that he wants to chase Gold over the hill alone.
What’s left for the Cameron Cruise Project?
Alf’s thrown down the challenge to master what we’ve created. God created Man then unleashed a flood for 40 days, and 40 nights proving he was still champ. That’s what we’re looking to do here.
One day my contract will expire, and when it does you can bet your ass the man behind the curtain wants to see the torch passed…he wants to be selling the team that destroyed the two beautiful people that could. As long as Cameron’s mind is where it should be, and he’s not selling me out for personal glory…the WFW’s gonna be **** out of luck.
These fifteen teams are the product of our success.
But there’s not an Ark fit to hide you from the beating we’re about to deliver.
(FTB)
TSiegel
I spoil things.
Re: WFW Great Expectations: Cameron Cruise Project vs. Troy Douglas & Bryan Storms
(Fadein, Cameron Cruise in front of a WFW Backdrop.)
CRUISE: I can't help it Joey, it hurts too much to bear it any longer that the old addage of that phrase "The truth shall set you free" an' whatnot.....adhere's at this time as well: You're right.
I've been thinkin' for a longtime about returning to a singles career, an' doin' it alot.
'Specially lately over in Empire Pro when I defeated Boogie Smallz an' his partner with Jay-Eh, and John Doe and Sebastian Dodd with who guessed it?? Our apparently NEW opponent this week, Troy Douglas.
But it all ceased to continue a few weeks ago when Mercy an' I were sittin' at home watchin' "Bull Durham"....in honor of the two thousand an' five season, you understand....and it was something that Kevin Costner said that caught me:
"Never f*ck with a winning streak."
Which in this case if we think about it....ever since that first day back in Freeman's office....this entire thing as been.
A winning streak.
Therefore as much as it it might hurt myself hearing it said....I owe you one Joe.
Besides.....starting off a tournament that would give the winner the WFW World Tag Team titles against Troy Douglas an' Bryan Storms.....a couple o' guys that...in essence biggest match to date was an "Inferno" and an "I quit Match", against John Doe.....
How hard could it be?? When it's all said an' done an' this Tag tournament is over, this company is going to get the biggest REALITY CHECK that it hasn't liked....well...since ever, really.
Whether you like it or not....we've got about a lil' over a "Baker's Dozen" to dish out, and believe me....
Mercedes absolutely hates having leftovers.
(Fadeout)
(Fadein, Cameron Cruise in front of a WFW Backdrop.)
CRUISE: I can't help it Joey, it hurts too much to bear it any longer that the old addage of that phrase "The truth shall set you free" an' whatnot.....adhere's at this time as well: You're right.
I've been thinkin' for a longtime about returning to a singles career, an' doin' it alot.
'Specially lately over in Empire Pro when I defeated Boogie Smallz an' his partner with Jay-Eh, and John Doe and Sebastian Dodd with who guessed it?? Our apparently NEW opponent this week, Troy Douglas.
But it all ceased to continue a few weeks ago when Mercy an' I were sittin' at home watchin' "Bull Durham"....in honor of the two thousand an' five season, you understand....and it was something that Kevin Costner said that caught me:
"Never f*ck with a winning streak."
Which in this case if we think about it....ever since that first day back in Freeman's office....this entire thing as been.
A winning streak.
Therefore as much as it it might hurt myself hearing it said....I owe you one Joe.
Besides.....starting off a tournament that would give the winner the WFW World Tag Team titles against Troy Douglas an' Bryan Storms.....a couple o' guys that...in essence biggest match to date was an "Inferno" and an "I quit Match", against John Doe.....
How hard could it be?? When it's all said an' done an' this Tag tournament is over, this company is going to get the biggest REALITY CHECK that it hasn't liked....well...since ever, really.
Whether you like it or not....we've got about a lil' over a "Baker's Dozen" to dish out, and believe me....
Mercedes absolutely hates having leftovers.
(Fadeout)
TSiegel
I spoil things.
Re: WFW Great Expectations: Cameron Cruise Project vs. Troy Douglas & Bryan Storms
(Fadein on a windy Cameron Cruise home in Jacksonville, NC. As the camera zooms in closer it locates Cruise on hammock tied between a couple trees, his arms resting behind his head as the breeze brushes his face.)
CRUISE: My, my, my....isn't it wonderful how the table has turned in the last few days since my last booking.
I've been on a pretty good winning streak, in Empire Pro with the Project and the "Anglo-Luchador", my singles career has been pretty decent, and WFW has taken off quite nicely, again with the Project.
Then again, maybe I should keep things to a low "roar", being that things might not be the same with others....right, Marcus??
I mean, hey..."Champ", let's face it....your life....minus the godforsaken things that I hear going on over in your OTHER fed....hasn't really been steller since...well since you won the Empire Pro World Title from Sands last year.
Think about it, Beast.
Your girlfriend left you for not only a guy that just so happens to be MY tag team partner, but also professionally for a man who happens to be YOUR partner in this tag tournament as well as the guy who signs your paycheck. The same woman who happens manage you and him managed to not only trick you and I, but the entire WORLD into believing she was a man and beat you for the same World title she watched you win almost twelve months ago.
With humiliation by virtue of trash talk, dress-wearing, and a nutshot by your ex-girlfriend to "boot".
But yet you continue to try an' bring me an' Joey down.
My nephew was over the other day and said something that I think Boogie Smallz might say: Don't Hate The Player Marcus, Hate The Game.
You see Marcus, what you're doing is the same thing I've been doing for lil' over a year, tagging with the same man that enjoys the glory and entertainment in seeing you flounder is not only unoriginal Marcus....
It's old hat.
The only real reason why it still works with me is that there ARE actual points in my life that some of the strangest pieces of advice Joey has passed on to me has not only come to help me professionally, it's actually made my life more fruitful in the long run.
But I'm sure you're going to put over the fact that you beat me an' Joey while wearing a dress and that I've never been World Champion and I'm not five hundred pounds of bulk like you and held on to seven title reigns, and that's great....if I haven't paid any attention to it the past twenty times you've probably said it before....allow me.
(Cameron temporarily takes his arms from behind his head and claps--once.)
CRUISE: Bravo. But just so things are clear between the two of us...you didn't beat the Cameron Cruise Project alone....Dan Ryan and a CHAIR did.
But with that said Marcus...what do you do now?? Lord knows, I could give a damn about what else you do over there but the fact of the matter is....you're in a position now where you're not only....the MAN over in Empire Pro, you're back where you started.
Sounds like me after I lost my title shot to Sands, now that I think about it, but anyway without getting sidetracked, the point is this:
You not only want to capture the same kinda fame, glory and success that Joey and I have now that you're not the "Top Dog" anymore, but you only remember what you want to remember, which is fine with me because even though John Doe had some memory loss caused by some big beefy guy named Biff...that still didn't stop him from going out every day and getting his ass kicked day in and day out by yours truly.
Hey, everyone knows that the beatings I give out have no biased reasoning towards anyone that's got something shaking inside that noggin of theirs; I'm an equal opportunity asskicker, just like how Bryan Storms and Troy Douglas has it coming to them....nothing personal, just business.
And like the Project has proved before time and time again....
Business is GOOD.
(Cruise takes a deep breath and sighs, closing his eyes to relax.)
(Fadein on a windy Cameron Cruise home in Jacksonville, NC. As the camera zooms in closer it locates Cruise on hammock tied between a couple trees, his arms resting behind his head as the breeze brushes his face.)
CRUISE: My, my, my....isn't it wonderful how the table has turned in the last few days since my last booking.
I've been on a pretty good winning streak, in Empire Pro with the Project and the "Anglo-Luchador", my singles career has been pretty decent, and WFW has taken off quite nicely, again with the Project.
Then again, maybe I should keep things to a low "roar", being that things might not be the same with others....right, Marcus??
I mean, hey..."Champ", let's face it....your life....minus the godforsaken things that I hear going on over in your OTHER fed....hasn't really been steller since...well since you won the Empire Pro World Title from Sands last year.
Think about it, Beast.
Your girlfriend left you for not only a guy that just so happens to be MY tag team partner, but also professionally for a man who happens to be YOUR partner in this tag tournament as well as the guy who signs your paycheck. The same woman who happens manage you and him managed to not only trick you and I, but the entire WORLD into believing she was a man and beat you for the same World title she watched you win almost twelve months ago.
With humiliation by virtue of trash talk, dress-wearing, and a nutshot by your ex-girlfriend to "boot".
But yet you continue to try an' bring me an' Joey down.
My nephew was over the other day and said something that I think Boogie Smallz might say: Don't Hate The Player Marcus, Hate The Game.
You see Marcus, what you're doing is the same thing I've been doing for lil' over a year, tagging with the same man that enjoys the glory and entertainment in seeing you flounder is not only unoriginal Marcus....
It's old hat.
The only real reason why it still works with me is that there ARE actual points in my life that some of the strangest pieces of advice Joey has passed on to me has not only come to help me professionally, it's actually made my life more fruitful in the long run.
But I'm sure you're going to put over the fact that you beat me an' Joey while wearing a dress and that I've never been World Champion and I'm not five hundred pounds of bulk like you and held on to seven title reigns, and that's great....if I haven't paid any attention to it the past twenty times you've probably said it before....allow me.
(Cameron temporarily takes his arms from behind his head and claps--once.)
CRUISE: Bravo. But just so things are clear between the two of us...you didn't beat the Cameron Cruise Project alone....Dan Ryan and a CHAIR did.
But with that said Marcus...what do you do now?? Lord knows, I could give a damn about what else you do over there but the fact of the matter is....you're in a position now where you're not only....the MAN over in Empire Pro, you're back where you started.
Sounds like me after I lost my title shot to Sands, now that I think about it, but anyway without getting sidetracked, the point is this:
You not only want to capture the same kinda fame, glory and success that Joey and I have now that you're not the "Top Dog" anymore, but you only remember what you want to remember, which is fine with me because even though John Doe had some memory loss caused by some big beefy guy named Biff...that still didn't stop him from going out every day and getting his ass kicked day in and day out by yours truly.
Hey, everyone knows that the beatings I give out have no biased reasoning towards anyone that's got something shaking inside that noggin of theirs; I'm an equal opportunity asskicker, just like how Bryan Storms and Troy Douglas has it coming to them....nothing personal, just business.
And like the Project has proved before time and time again....
Business is GOOD.
(Cruise takes a deep breath and sighs, closing his eyes to relax.)
Steve
the EX-QUEEN of FW~!
Re: WFW Great Expectations: Cameron Cruise Project vs. Troy Douglas & Bryan Storms
(CUTTO: Darkness.)
“Just let him straddle your head.”
“Cameron you’re in enough trouble as it is, do yourself a favor and say not a word more.”
“Would you stop emasculating Cruise? Please? Can you do that for me honey? It’s taken me a year to get him to understand people aren’t supposed to walk over him at will. Don’t need the dominate wife routine outside of the bedroom adding to our troubles.”
“Oh right. Joey Melton. He saved every one of us, ah ah!”
“Quiet you fools. Somebody make this b**** bend down so I can mount her. And hurry up, I’ve gotta ****.”
“I hate every one of you!”
A second passes, but it seems like oh so much longer.
“Cruise hand Adrian the camera. Swing your other leg around---yeah that’s it. How’s that feel?”
“Like the back of my neck’s being held at gunpoint.”
“Okay, that’s just not right.”
“You’re a trooper, baby. You know I love you, right?”
“Start filming this damn thing so I can get this dick off me.”
(CUTTO: A camera view of Joey Melton, and Cameron Cruise standing in front of a door.)
“Count down Adrian, let’s keep a mode of professionalism here.”
Mercedes laughs sarcastically, “You’re not going to be able to dig your way out of this one in another minute, at this rate.”
“In five, four, three, two…”
“Hello WFW fans, this is Joey Melton…”
“And I’m Cameron Cruise!”
“And yes he seems strangely happy about that. Just kidding Cameron. See, an example of the non-threatening humor that plays so well between us,” Melton feigns a deep laugh.
Cameron chuckles, with a strained look on his face as if he’s pondering why he dreams in first person. “That’s why we work so well together. Start and end the day with a smile, right Joseph?”
“Today, the Cameron Cruise Project’s on the trail of Troy Douglas, and the name he drew out of a hat!”
“Bryan Storms,” a low voice off screen offers.
“No…that’s not it. Anyway, Mr. Douglas and his boyfriend have chosen not to help the Cameron Cruise Project promote, and market their upcoming first round tournament match.”
A scattering of boos off camera.
“As you can imagine, neither Cruise or I are happy about this shocking turn of events. Despite the record gates, the merchandise, the World Titles, Awards, the women…the women Mercedes knows about, the plastic molded replicas of our dicks, and free and easy access to prescription drugs Cammy and I are most proud of two things.”
“Staying drug free in an era where men like Dan Ryan and Beast have adult teeth, and hair spawning from the sides of their necks due to anabolic steroid abuse. And…”
“Never being afraid to answer the bell.”
“Well, except for that one time when you left me in the middle of the match to chase tail.”
Melton seems caught off guard. “True. And I thought we moved past that?”
Cruise shrugs.
“But, fans, don’t worry. I’m currently ****** that piece of ass, so all is well. At least one of us got the job done that night, eh Cruise?”
Cameron forces a grin, “Ancient history now, as we’re both here, and pulling our own weight. Novel concept, I know Joey.”
“Pulling our own weight. Right. Which is exactly what Troy Douglas and…”
“The name he drew out of a hat…”
“Aren’t doing. What the Project hates more than anything is being taken for granted. Co-workers just assuming that we’ll do all the grunt work and make them look like a million bucks.”
“While it’s true, Joey, that if you’re not the Project, you’re in the rough…only one in ten of you are potential diamonds.”
“I’m tired of making other people look good. Yes, I am your Wrestling God. Yes, partners of mine have gone on to win the UNIFIED WORLD title, or bed Kelly Ripa in a moment of marital weakness. In my best years, I created a clone army strong enough to conquer the Separatists battle droids. Men in the CSWA locker room have screwed my sister Teri for years just to have a taste of the same DNA. And men like Troy Windham and Eddy Love know all the notes I laid down back in the day. But, it’s never the same.”
“Can we focus please?”
“Which brings me back to Troy Douglas. A Greensboro native. A kid who grew up idolizing yours truly. Someone who should’ve taken pleasure in having his ass kicked by the Cameron Cruise Project.”
“But, Douglas and the name he drew out of a hat, have closed the doors to the WFW cameras.”
“Not today. We’re at the childhood home of Troy Douglas, in Greensboro. Rumor has it, he may be inside, HIDING from the Cameron Cruise Project.”
“I’d love to get inside and make him cut a promo, but…chances are, Joey, the door is locked!”
“Right, Cruise! Lucky for us, the Mayor of Greensboro gave me a key to the city, in 1998!”
Melton reaches behind him and pulls out a giant, yellow key.
(SLOPPY CUT TO: Melton and Cruise with stupid grins on their faces, standing inside “Troy Douglas’ living room.”)
“Wow, what do you know, Cameron, the key really worked.”
“Hey, it’s the key to the city. There’s no door in Greensboro you can’t open!”
Cruise and Melton are startled at the sounds of glass breaking.
“What the?”
“That came from the back bedroom, last door on your right, I think…wild guess…”
They take off running down the hall. “Let’s investigate team, shall we?”
(CRUDE CUT TO: Bed room. Melton and Cruise stand in bewilderment at “Troy Douglas’ old bed room.” The walls are covered with Melton posters, articles, autograph pictures, and Polaroids taken without his consent.)
“Wow. Geez, Douglas, obsess much?”
“I’m in Psycho Ville and Douglas is the Mayor,” Adrian quietly chimes in.
“Hey look at the window! Is that Troy Douglas and the name he drew out of a hat?”
The camera zooms out of the broken window, and catches two men fleeing on foot into the wilderness.
“Troy!” Melton sticks his head out of the window and screams, “We just want a word!”
“Joey Melton!”
The camera cuts to the closet where a woman, dressed in a CSWA Melton T-shirt, cut-off jeans, and her hair done in pigtails steps out. Her face glows.
“Joey Melton!!!”
“This can’t end well.”
“You’ve finally come back to see me! You promised you’d call! But, over ten years later…you’ve done the next best thing. You’ve come to my home, to make me a woman!”
“That’s it, I’m gone.”
Mercedes throws Adrian off her back, and storms out. Evans hits the floor with a thud, and the camera crashes with him. Miraculously it’s still filming, albeit with a slanted view.
“My, it’s Troy Douglas’ deranged kid sister, who I mistakenly bedded some years ago. Yes, Cumdeana, it’s really me.”
“Joey, baby, I love you!”
Cumdeana attacks Melton, throwing him on her bed.
“I’m a wildcat, hear me roaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar.”
“No way we’re still filming…”
(FTB)
(CUTTO: Darkness.)
“Just let him straddle your head.”
“Cameron you’re in enough trouble as it is, do yourself a favor and say not a word more.”
“Would you stop emasculating Cruise? Please? Can you do that for me honey? It’s taken me a year to get him to understand people aren’t supposed to walk over him at will. Don’t need the dominate wife routine outside of the bedroom adding to our troubles.”
“Oh right. Joey Melton. He saved every one of us, ah ah!”
“Quiet you fools. Somebody make this b**** bend down so I can mount her. And hurry up, I’ve gotta ****.”
“I hate every one of you!”
A second passes, but it seems like oh so much longer.
“Cruise hand Adrian the camera. Swing your other leg around---yeah that’s it. How’s that feel?”
“Like the back of my neck’s being held at gunpoint.”
“Okay, that’s just not right.”
“You’re a trooper, baby. You know I love you, right?”
“Start filming this damn thing so I can get this dick off me.”
(CUTTO: A camera view of Joey Melton, and Cameron Cruise standing in front of a door.)
“Count down Adrian, let’s keep a mode of professionalism here.”
Mercedes laughs sarcastically, “You’re not going to be able to dig your way out of this one in another minute, at this rate.”
“In five, four, three, two…”
“Hello WFW fans, this is Joey Melton…”
“And I’m Cameron Cruise!”
“And yes he seems strangely happy about that. Just kidding Cameron. See, an example of the non-threatening humor that plays so well between us,” Melton feigns a deep laugh.
Cameron chuckles, with a strained look on his face as if he’s pondering why he dreams in first person. “That’s why we work so well together. Start and end the day with a smile, right Joseph?”
“Today, the Cameron Cruise Project’s on the trail of Troy Douglas, and the name he drew out of a hat!”
“Bryan Storms,” a low voice off screen offers.
“No…that’s not it. Anyway, Mr. Douglas and his boyfriend have chosen not to help the Cameron Cruise Project promote, and market their upcoming first round tournament match.”
A scattering of boos off camera.
“As you can imagine, neither Cruise or I are happy about this shocking turn of events. Despite the record gates, the merchandise, the World Titles, Awards, the women…the women Mercedes knows about, the plastic molded replicas of our dicks, and free and easy access to prescription drugs Cammy and I are most proud of two things.”
“Staying drug free in an era where men like Dan Ryan and Beast have adult teeth, and hair spawning from the sides of their necks due to anabolic steroid abuse. And…”
“Never being afraid to answer the bell.”
“Well, except for that one time when you left me in the middle of the match to chase tail.”
Melton seems caught off guard. “True. And I thought we moved past that?”
Cruise shrugs.
“But, fans, don’t worry. I’m currently ****** that piece of ass, so all is well. At least one of us got the job done that night, eh Cruise?”
Cameron forces a grin, “Ancient history now, as we’re both here, and pulling our own weight. Novel concept, I know Joey.”
“Pulling our own weight. Right. Which is exactly what Troy Douglas and…”
“The name he drew out of a hat…”
“Aren’t doing. What the Project hates more than anything is being taken for granted. Co-workers just assuming that we’ll do all the grunt work and make them look like a million bucks.”
“While it’s true, Joey, that if you’re not the Project, you’re in the rough…only one in ten of you are potential diamonds.”
“I’m tired of making other people look good. Yes, I am your Wrestling God. Yes, partners of mine have gone on to win the UNIFIED WORLD title, or bed Kelly Ripa in a moment of marital weakness. In my best years, I created a clone army strong enough to conquer the Separatists battle droids. Men in the CSWA locker room have screwed my sister Teri for years just to have a taste of the same DNA. And men like Troy Windham and Eddy Love know all the notes I laid down back in the day. But, it’s never the same.”
“Can we focus please?”
“Which brings me back to Troy Douglas. A Greensboro native. A kid who grew up idolizing yours truly. Someone who should’ve taken pleasure in having his ass kicked by the Cameron Cruise Project.”
“But, Douglas and the name he drew out of a hat, have closed the doors to the WFW cameras.”
“Not today. We’re at the childhood home of Troy Douglas, in Greensboro. Rumor has it, he may be inside, HIDING from the Cameron Cruise Project.”
“I’d love to get inside and make him cut a promo, but…chances are, Joey, the door is locked!”
“Right, Cruise! Lucky for us, the Mayor of Greensboro gave me a key to the city, in 1998!”
Melton reaches behind him and pulls out a giant, yellow key.
(SLOPPY CUT TO: Melton and Cruise with stupid grins on their faces, standing inside “Troy Douglas’ living room.”)
“Wow, what do you know, Cameron, the key really worked.”
“Hey, it’s the key to the city. There’s no door in Greensboro you can’t open!”
Cruise and Melton are startled at the sounds of glass breaking.
“What the?”
“That came from the back bedroom, last door on your right, I think…wild guess…”
They take off running down the hall. “Let’s investigate team, shall we?”
(CRUDE CUT TO: Bed room. Melton and Cruise stand in bewilderment at “Troy Douglas’ old bed room.” The walls are covered with Melton posters, articles, autograph pictures, and Polaroids taken without his consent.)
“Wow. Geez, Douglas, obsess much?”
“I’m in Psycho Ville and Douglas is the Mayor,” Adrian quietly chimes in.
“Hey look at the window! Is that Troy Douglas and the name he drew out of a hat?”
The camera zooms out of the broken window, and catches two men fleeing on foot into the wilderness.
“Troy!” Melton sticks his head out of the window and screams, “We just want a word!”
“Joey Melton!”
The camera cuts to the closet where a woman, dressed in a CSWA Melton T-shirt, cut-off jeans, and her hair done in pigtails steps out. Her face glows.
“Joey Melton!!!”
“This can’t end well.”
“You’ve finally come back to see me! You promised you’d call! But, over ten years later…you’ve done the next best thing. You’ve come to my home, to make me a woman!”
“That’s it, I’m gone.”
Mercedes throws Adrian off her back, and storms out. Evans hits the floor with a thud, and the camera crashes with him. Miraculously it’s still filming, albeit with a slanted view.
“My, it’s Troy Douglas’ deranged kid sister, who I mistakenly bedded some years ago. Yes, Cumdeana, it’s really me.”
“Joey, baby, I love you!”
Cumdeana attacks Melton, throwing him on her bed.
“I’m a wildcat, hear me roaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar.”
“No way we’re still filming…”
(FTB)
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