Wanderlust
“The Scourge of Monogamy,” “Mystic-Wanderer,”“Lusty”
Real Name: Alistair Yeshe Wren
Height: 6’3”
Weight: 226 lbs.
Hails From: A quaint, little New England town called who-the-****-knows! ... Seriously, though, no one has any fucking clue. There’s speculation, however, that he fled the drug-addled, wine-poisoned mind of some washed-up romance novelist, and entered our reality through some sort of dimensional tear. We’ll keep you abreast of the sitch-e-aye-shun.
Physical Appearance: Average-sized thighs; bamboo stick-thin ankles; HYYYUGE, chiseled upper body. Sickeningly tan. (Overall, his body shape is most similar to that of Rick Rude.) Long, flowing, 80s-style mane, like old-school Ultimate Warrior, with the odd tress beaded and braided. Full-length wrestling tights (design doesn’t matter; something gaudy more or less.) Taped wrists. A massive bulge in the crotchal region, so you know he’s packin’.
Entrance Music: “Jupiter (Bringer of Jollity)” by Gustav Holst
In-Ring Style: Limited sports entertainment all-rounder.
Moveset: Back rake, running elbow-to-the-face, swinging neckbreaker, sidewalk slam from the apron onto the guardrail (“Wanderbuster”), reverse powerbomb into the turnbuckles
Finisher: (Will update later.)
Personality: Enigmatic traveler; lover of women of all shapes, sizes, and creeds; unknowingly cocky; a living, breathing, wrastlin’ romance novel love-interest.
Biography: (Later. Leave me alone!)
And now...
Trashy Romance
Real Name: Unknown, though he is wholeheartedly convinced that he is the reincarnation of Marquis de Sade. (His birth certificate⎯the lying bastard!⎯would have you believe he’s some dude named Roman Trimble.)
Height: 5’10”
Weight: 175 lbs.
Physical Appearance: Dirty, faded blue jeans, with white, frayed fabric belt; fitted paisley pattern dress shirt (top four buttons undone, always); patchy facial hair; black, thick framed geek glasses; burn scars up and down his forearms; scuffed penny loafers. An un-athletic, slender torso atop sickly elk legs.
Why He’s Here: To put pen to paper and transcribe the unseemly escapades of the sometimes mystified, always unabashed Wanderlust! AKA he’s a manager of sorts. *Shrug*
“The Scourge of Monogamy,” “Mystic-Wanderer,”“Lusty”
Real Name: Alistair Yeshe Wren
Height: 6’3”
Weight: 226 lbs.
Hails From: A quaint, little New England town called who-the-****-knows! ... Seriously, though, no one has any fucking clue. There’s speculation, however, that he fled the drug-addled, wine-poisoned mind of some washed-up romance novelist, and entered our reality through some sort of dimensional tear. We’ll keep you abreast of the sitch-e-aye-shun.
Physical Appearance: Average-sized thighs; bamboo stick-thin ankles; HYYYUGE, chiseled upper body. Sickeningly tan. (Overall, his body shape is most similar to that of Rick Rude.) Long, flowing, 80s-style mane, like old-school Ultimate Warrior, with the odd tress beaded and braided. Full-length wrestling tights (design doesn’t matter; something gaudy more or less.) Taped wrists. A massive bulge in the crotchal region, so you know he’s packin’.
Entrance Music: “Jupiter (Bringer of Jollity)” by Gustav Holst
In-Ring Style: Limited sports entertainment all-rounder.
Moveset: Back rake, running elbow-to-the-face, swinging neckbreaker, sidewalk slam from the apron onto the guardrail (“Wanderbuster”), reverse powerbomb into the turnbuckles
Finisher: (Will update later.)
Personality: Enigmatic traveler; lover of women of all shapes, sizes, and creeds; unknowingly cocky; a living, breathing, wrastlin’ romance novel love-interest.
Biography: (Later. Leave me alone!)
And now...
Trashy Romance
Real Name: Unknown, though he is wholeheartedly convinced that he is the reincarnation of Marquis de Sade. (His birth certificate⎯the lying bastard!⎯would have you believe he’s some dude named Roman Trimble.)
Height: 5’10”
Weight: 175 lbs.
Physical Appearance: Dirty, faded blue jeans, with white, frayed fabric belt; fitted paisley pattern dress shirt (top four buttons undone, always); patchy facial hair; black, thick framed geek glasses; burn scars up and down his forearms; scuffed penny loafers. An un-athletic, slender torso atop sickly elk legs.
Why He’s Here: To put pen to paper and transcribe the unseemly escapades of the sometimes mystified, always unabashed Wanderlust! AKA he’s a manager of sorts. *Shrug*