JOBBER’S REVENGE
No one gave me a chance. Even Cobra, who might’ve got 1% of the bracket votes… GOT ONE PERCENT. Me? I was an afterthought, less than that. I was a loser.
At least until the ref made the 10-count…
To be honest, I barely heard the count, but I did hear the bell. And the announcer. It’d been a long time since I’d heard any announcer say, “and your winner – Bonecrusher!” It felt good. More importantly, it felt right.
Since then, my twitter followers have increased a hundredfold, thousand-fold even. Since then, people started to care what I thought. Sure, some discounted my win as a fluke, I’m this millennium’s version of the Mulkey Brothers making it to the Crockett Cup. Only problem with that – the Mulkeys didn’t last beyond the 1st round. “Mulkeymania” died a painful death. For me, not only did I get a seed in the tournament, but I got a win. Bonecrusher-mania was just getting started.
“Ready for your match?” Ikan Jobtayoo asked.
I turned to him, unintentionally glaring at the ‘jobber’. He wasn’t supposed to be here, at least if he didn’t buy a ticket. I told him as much. He glared back, but I’m pretty sure his glare was on purpose. He probably said something else, but I was too busy walking to my dressing room and didn’t bother to listen. It was probably more of the same crap about me just being lucky.
“Deacon’s going to pound you into a little sauce can,” Big Sauce Man said. He sat down at a picnic table, actually on the top of the table. My mother would’ve screamed at him something about glasses going there.
“That’s what Lane Cash thought he’d do too,” I said and kept on walking. “Guess he was mostly wrong.”
Lane Cash was wrong. He was coming into my territory. MY tournament in my backyard, and he thought he was facing Big Sauce Man, Cash didn’t have enough in his checking to keep from bouncing out of this tournament.
Just like “Lethal” Lex Taylor.
“What is this - a jobber convention?” I asked as I walked up to Mr. Lethality. “You already punched your ticket. Go back to the dregs you came from.”
“Dregs. Leave my grandma’s hairstyle alone,” he said with a sneer.
“You didn’t come out of your grandma’s hair. That would’ve been your momma.”
“Well, your momma is so fat they,” Lex stalled, “have a CB attached to her mouth.”
I heard something and turned. Something blotted out the lights. I heard a clang and felt a thwack. I’d done enough of these to know – chair shots hurt.
“Leave his momma out of this,” ‘Hot’ Johnny Tropic said, “she’s hot.”
“When did you ever meet my mother?” Lex asked.
“Which ti—“
Blissfully, I passed out before I could finish Johnny’s response.
WELCOME TO ULTRATITLE… AGAIN!
(CUTTO: Jim Sears and Liam Kennedy at their post in the arena.)
JS: Welcome to Bloomington, Illinois’ US Cellular Arena as we continue our coverage of Round two of the ULTRATITLE Tournament.
LK: They actually asked us back.
JS: When you do a good job…
LK: Or when you’re as cheap as you are.
JS: Or as hungry for attention as you are then they’ll take what they can get. We’ve got 4 matches to cover tonight.
LK: Thankfully, none of them feature Joey Melton.
JS: No, we don’t have the Arrogant one, but we do have the most unexpected Round 2 matchup.
LK: And that’s saying something when you have Cobra in round 2 instead of Dan Ryan.
JS: I don’t think we’re supposed to mention Dan Ryan anymore.
LK: I don’t think I got paid enough money to do what Erik Zieba wants.
JS: Uhm, Liam… Erik’s not running this thing.
LK: Oh… right.
JS: But what we do have in Bloomington is the Deacon against, and get ready for this people, Bonecrusher.
(Show a video of Bonecrusher as the crowd explodes in chants of his name.)
LK: Wasn’t he the wrestler in the Spiderman movie?
JS: No, that was Bonesaw. BoneCRUSHER is a former CSWA Greensboro champion who has fallen on hard times.
LK: Fallen on hard times? Falling implies that he’s gotten back up; he’s LIVED in hard times for over 10 years.
JS: But no more. Listen to this crowd! They are more into this guy than if it was an icon tearing up the airwaves.
LK: But he’s going to be tore up by the Deacon tonight.
JS: Did you actually put your vote behind the Deacon?
LK: No. Yes. No! I mean, it wasn’t so much behind the Deacon as against the Bonecrusher. It’s like voting for President; no one is actually FOR a candidate, they just hate the other guy more.
JS: Then we have two of the favorites in this bracket – Freddie Sagawa versus Shawn Jessica Hart PhD. Who do you have?
LK: There’s so much to love about Shawn Jessica Hart.
JS: Like Felicia?
LK: Oh yeah. Well, not just her. He’s good too.
JS: I’m going to have to go with the Kochi Cannibal.
LK: Then pick in our last matchup between Shamon and Henry Dylan.
JS: Dylan. Shamon dances too much.
JS: And our first match of the night, we have “The Godfather” Vincenzo Savonarola facing Alexander Hayes.
LK: The Godfather may have already done Hayes in.
JS: What?!
LK: You heard from Hayes?... exactly.
JS: Well, I have it on good word that Hayes is here and ready for a fight.
LK: So he didn’t take Savonarola’s offer then?
JS: Nope.
LK: Then he’s getting shot on the way to the ring.
JS: Let’s hope not.
“THE GODFATHER” VINCENZO SAVONAROLA vs. ALEXANDER HAYES
“The Godfather” put out his cigar and walked to the center of the ring, blowing a ring into Hayes’ face. Alexander exploded with a hook that was blocked. The veteran Vincenzo tore into Hayes with a series of punches that put him into the corner and then proceeded to slam around then stretch Hayes out. To say he dominated is a misnomer – he toyed with Hayes until finally locking in Sicilian Leglock (Reverse Figure Four leglock) to get the tapout victory.
WINNER: VINCENZO SAVONAROLA
(Back to Jim and Liam)
LK: That was almost fun.
JS: If you enjoy an exhibition clinic on how to tear a wrestler down, that would be it. But if you wanted a contest, that certainly wasn’t it.
LK: If our next match is Deacon versus Bonecrusher, this crowd is going to riot.
JS: Next up is most certainly not that.
LK: There is a GOD!
JS: You really are being a Deacon acolyte.
LK: For this week? I can live with that.
“THE AFTERMATH” JOHN MCDONOUGH vs. JACK HARMEN
The “Crazy Train” kicked in as the “Man Who Used To Fly High” made his way to ring to meet up against “The Aftermath.” The two veterans should hands in the middle of the ring, Jack Harmen shaking off some nerves by bouncing on one half of the ring while former NWC standout Jack McDonough simple stood to one side stone-faced. Both surged forward as the bell rung, locking up, with Flyer quickly stepping behind. McDonough quickly dropped to his knees, pulling Harmen over with an arm drag, then a quick short clothesline as he kipped up.
McDonough continued to dominate early, keeping Harmen off his feet with a series of snap suplexes followed by a kneedrop from the second rope. Harmen was able to reverse McDonough’s attempt at a powered suplex off the ropes but springing high with a Thesz press, taking McDonough to the mat and keeping him there with a series of punches. Harmen pulled McDonough up, putting him in a vertical suplex of his own, but McDonough rolled through, almost going completely out of the ring. Catching himself on the apron, McDonough found Harmen right behind him, hooking the head from behind and applying a Dragon SLEEP! (Dragon sleeper) on him using the ropes as leverage. Harmen broke the hold just before referee Ben Worthington’s five-count, then brought McDonough into the ring with a tiger suplex that got him a two-count!
McDonough kicks out and got to his feet, only to find his Harmen moving, locking his arm around McDonough’s back, then powering him 270 degrees over with a huge Super Blizzard ranhei for the pin.
WINNER: JACK HARMEN (via Super Blizzard at 6:23)
JOBBERS RUN THE SHOW?
“Johnny did the deed,” he said.
I nodded. Speaking wasn’t necessary, not to someone of such common heritage. I didn’t even know his name. Names were as unnecessary as breath.
“But don’t you think taking Bonecrusher out is a mistake? He’s done something that the council has dreamed of for years. Not since the mighty Mulkeys has such an occurrence occurred. Bonecrusher survived Lane Cash, perhaps Deacon will fall to the same fate?
I glared. Of course, he stopped his inane questioning of my thought processes. I have never lost a game of checkers or even Candyland. I would not lose this game either. The council was full of fools and idiotic fools at that.
“Are you sure this is going to work?”
I studied him, my eyes digging deep within the wells of his soul, revealing his darkest nightmares and most climactic dreams. He liked it.
“Of course you are,” he said with a slight blush.
It is a power I hold over men, to study them and to learn their weaknesses, exploiting all to my advantage. I take the weak-minded and mold them into an army to go forth and conquer. This ham-n-egger is little more than a herald, but he will know the true power I wield. Indeed, he has already felt it.
“I should have never doubted you. Lex Taylor took out Johnny Tropic. Big Sauce Man took out Lex. And Ikan Jobtoya tripped over Johnny’s body and took out Big Sauce. All of the pieces fell like you’d said they would.”
I smiled. Of course it had, but I was saving my coup-de-grace for the Deacon.
PAT GORDON, JR vs. “THE PEOPLE’S CHOICE” AUGUST JOYCE
Pat Gordon Jr., second generation superstar, paid tribute to his father before the bell rang. August Joyce leaned in and locked up a collar and elbow tie up. Hammerlock by Joyce on Gordon. Gordon with a go behind. Joyce grabs the hair and rolls through, a modified arm drag as both men get to their feet. Gordon goes for a clubbing clothesline but Joyce catches him and hits a beautiful t-bone suplex.
Gordon rolls to the bottom ropes and uses them to recover. Lock back up, arm wringer by Joyce. Gordon with a reversal into a hammerlock. Joyce tries to redo his previous arm drag but Gordon let’s go, causing Joyce to drop to his knees. Gordon with an elbow drop to the back of Joyce’s exposed neck. Roll over for a one count. Gordon waits as Joyce charges, drop toe hold. Float over into a headlock. Gordon wrenches the hold in as Joyce fights to his feet. Joyce with a right to Gordon’s gut, but Gordon hits a nice swinging neck breaker for two.
Gordon goes for a kick to the midsection but August catches it, dragon screw takeover. Gordon recovers, and catches a Joyce kick, before August swings his legs up and catches the side of Gordon’s head with an enzeguri. Joyce gets two. Snap suplex by Joyce, and a snap DDT combo gets two.
Joyce with an irish whip, reversal, Joyce off the ropes with a spinning wheel kick that Gordon ducks! Joyce lands back first on the mat and rolls to recover, only Gordon DIVES with a torpedo headbutt he calls the Irish kiss. August Joyce groggily falls out of the ring.
August Joyce takes his time on the outside to regroup. Gordon gives it to him. As the referee gets to seven, Joyce rolls back in, cautious of a sneak attack. Gordon however, lets him get back to his feet. The two lock up, collar and elbow. Joyce with a stiff elbow to the side of Gordon’s head. Joyce irish whips Gordon into the turnbuckle, but reversed. Gordon charges with a BIG splash. Gordon with a scoop slam and places Joyce on the turnbuckle in a tree of woe. After a moment of pandering to the crowd, Gordon charges and catches Joyce with a tree of woe dropkick to cheers.
Gordon gets two. Gordon hooks Joyce up and irish whips him off the ropes. No, Joyce with a reversal, and a third reversal by Gordon as Pat shoots August into the corner, sternum first. The wind knocked out, Joyce backs out, stumbling. Gordon from behind, hooked his legs with his belly to back suplex. A lift, and one Sunday Morning Hangover later (Omega Driver), Gordon hooks the legs, gets the three, and moves on to round 3!
WINNER: PAT GORDON JR. via pinfall (Sunday Morning Hangover @ 13:11)
FREDDIE SAGAWA vs. SHAWN JESSICA HART, PH.D.
LK: If the Cannibal makes Shawn Hart bleed…
JS: I know… you’re outta here.
LK: Oh no. If you haven’t noticed, I’ve worked on my fear of blood.
JS: Well, as this match started, blood wasn’t on the mind – wrestling was, and both men gave as good as they got.
Sagawa hits a Mexican armdrag. Hart hits the mat and pops back up to be armdragged over again. Sagawa hung on, locking on an armbar for a moment until Hart put his legs around Sagawa’s arm and leveled him with a kick. Hart got up and took Sagawa down with a fireman’s carry and then an armlock of his own.
JS: But as with any match of even opponent’s, at some point, someone had to take over.
LK: Shawn’s on top, isn’t he?
JS: Well, not exactly on top.
Sagawa hit the ropes and springboarded, spinning in mid-air to catch Hart by the head and spin. Or try to spin, but ended up getting an inverted atomic drop and then a Northern Light’s Suplex bridged for a pin attempt, getting a two count. Hart grabbed a leg and put on an inside heel lock.
JS: It was clear that taking the Cannibal’s legs out from under him was the plan, and clearly a solid one. Taking the daredevil’s legs out from under him and he’s got nothing left.
LK: He’s got a head.
JS: Yes, he does.
LK: On a noose.
JS: … that too.
LK: Just saying.
Freddie kicked Hart several times in the head, breaking the hold. He fought to his feet at the same time as Shawn Hart. Sagawa quicker with a series of sharp elbows to the head and then into the ropes with a springboard Asai Moonsault that took Hart down.
JS: But Sagawa got ahead and he never looked back.
LK: Don’t say it.
JS: I have to. Taking the Ph.D. down with a finish Pitagora Sochi (Gory Special into Sitout Power bomb).
WINNER: FREDDIE SAGAWA
LK: Am I doomed to not get what I want in this tournament?
JS: I don’t know. But up next you get “The Epitome,” is that enough?
LK: For now…
TROY WINDHAM vs. KEVIN WATSON
Kevin Watson, the last CSWA Greensboro Champion, stared across the ring to a wrestling legend he knows well, Troy Windham. Once the bell rings, Windham attacks, looking to lock in the Windham claw. Watson goes right for the ropes to break up the hold/attempt. The two are split up. Watson carefully circling Windham. Windham goes for a collar and elbow but Watson ducks underneath. Off the ropes on the other side, Windham turns with a discus-like West Texas Lariat, taking Watson clear off his feet.
Windham takes the opportunity to catch Watson with a plethora of maneuvers. A classic Texan bulldog, DDT, and powerbomb later gets two. Windham climbs up top and flies with a moonsault, but Watson rolls out of the way to the shock of the crowd. Watson takes advantage with a dropkick, into a snap DDT, and then rolls through a charging Windham before locking him in a half crab.
Windham is in pain but doesn’t let it show. With his height advantage, Windham begins to push out of the half crab. He arches his back as his palms press his upper body off the canvas, forcing Watson to let go and roll out of the half crab. Both men back up, as Watson leans in for a grapple, Windham pops him in the face with a right hand. Windham leans down and picks Watson up onto his back for a fireman’s carry. But Watson uses his weight advantage to pull Windham down and roll him in a crucifix.
That just gets two. Troy gets to his feet and CATCHES Windham with another Texas Lariat, this time taking Watson clear off his feet. Troy hooks Watson and sets him on the top. A few rights later, and Windham hits a prone Watson with a superplex.
After a delay to cover, Windham gets two. Windham shakes his head, grabbing Watson by his to drag him to his feet. Watson swats Troy’s hands away from his grip, kick to the gut and Watson hits a beautiful release northern lights. Russian leg sweep follows for two. Watson looks to lock in the Cloverleaf Leglock, but Windham catches Watson with an uncharacteristic roll up for two.
Both men up, Windham with a wild right hand that Watson ducks, COBRA CLUTCH! Watson has the Cobra clutch locked in. Watson has to leap off the canvas to lock the hold in. He is in a precarious position as he wraps his legs around Windham’s gut. He can’t get Windham down to the mat for his Tap Out, and Windham backs up and SLAMS Watson back first into the corner. Windham with a couple shoulder blocks to Watson’s gut, and SHOOTS him off the other side. Watson hits the turnbuckle hard, stumbling out, disoriented…
…as Windham catches him from behind with the SLACKKNIFE! An academic three count later, and Troy Windham advances in the ULTRATITLE!
WINNER: TROY WINDHAM (via Slackknife @ 14:07)
DEACON vs. BONECRUSHER
JS: And now, Deacon is up next!
“And our first contestant,” the announcer said, “BONECRUSHER!”
He didn’t have music, at least nothing more than the chant of his Bonecrusher fans chanting his name. The chant began to catch on and soon, the entire crowd seemed to be chanting his name for a full minute until everyone realized, no one was coming out of the curtain.
The announcer said his name again but the cheers had diminished, no one quite sure what was happening. After a moment, the timekeeper went into the ring and whispered to the announcer.
“And our first contestant in this round two match…DEA-CON!”
Deacon’s music and such hit and the big Mute Freak went to the ring. He, like everyone else, questioned what was going to happen when…
“Is that who I think it is?” Jim Sears said. “That is Ikan Jobtayoo. What’s he doing here?”
“Staggering his way to the ring,” Liam added, “the way it looks to me.”
Ikan Jobtayoo made it down the ramp. Barely. He didn’t notice a bloody Big Sauce Man coming behind him with a chair. Sauce Man slammed it into Ikan, knocking him out, then tripped over him, Big Sauce hitting his head against the security railing and not getting back up.
“Lethal” Lex Taylor fell through the curtain a moment before “Hot” Johnny Tropic stepped through. With a rage-filled scream, Johnny picked up Lex and backed away before running full tilt, hitting a clothesline that knocked Lex Taylor off the stage area. Only problem? Tropic fell right behind him.
Inside the ring, Deacon turned to Chris Shepherd. Chris only shrugged.
Just as Bonecrusher fell through the curtain. He crawled down the rampway, his eyes focused on the ring, on his opponent, on his dreams, as the crowd cheered him like he was the greatest champion of all time. And they booed all the more when Ikan Jobtayoo grabbed his leg and wouldn’t let go. Bonecrusher fell. Big Sauce Man dropped an elbow on Ikan Jobtayoo, releasing the grip. Bonecrusher continued his crawl to the ring when Big Sauce Man dropped an elbow to his back. Using the security railing, Sauce Man staggered forward. Behind him, Lex Taylor and Johnny Tropic rose to their feet and began trading punches and pushes. Bonecrusher got to his feet and ran toward Sauce Man, clobbering him with an axe-handle smash to the back of the head a moment before Taylor and Tropic stopped fighting and realized Bonecrusher was going to make it to the ring. They both went forward, slowly building up steam, until they both were charging toward Crusher. He turned at the last possible moment and got a double clothesline from the ‘team’. He dropped and Taylor and Tropic realized they were the last two standing men when…
The lights went out. A giant blue laser-styled beam shined, encapsulating them. With a boom of fireworks, Tropic and Taylor ran away. The lights turned on. Standing in the ring.
“My plan has worked perfectly,” Space God said.
“Space God? It’s Space God?” Jim said.
“This is going to go bad,” Liam added. “I know this is going to go bad!”
The next moment, Deacon kicked the Deity from the Stars into oblivion, knocking him over the top rope and to the floor below, landing and hitting Bonecrusher who was still trying to make it to the ring.
“So what do we do now?” Sears asked. No answer was coming, not even from Liam, until Bonecrusher rolled into the ring, eerily like he had to win his Round One match. Except this time, his opponent was already in the ring and very capable of wrestling.
“Call for the bell,” the referee said, gesturing for Deacon to pin Bonecrusher. Deacon looked at the carnage in the aisle, at Bonecrusher and then back at the referee as if saying, “you’re kidding, right?” The ref wasn’t kidding though. Chris Shepherd got on the apron and told the referee that Bonecrusher can’t continue and to just call the match, but even as he talked, Bonecrusher used the Deacon to pull himself to his feet.
“Stay down,” Chris said.
Bonecrusher’s answer? Like Shawn Michaels all those years before, Bonecrusher defiantly slapped the Deacon across the face.
And then collapsed once again.
JS: The Deacon pinning Bonecrusher ended, quite possibly, the most memorably match in the history of the Ultratitle. Or at least the strangest.
LK: Alright! That makes me one for … how many’d I miss in my bracket?
JS: You had Dan Ryan winning the whole thing.
LK: #$%@!
JS: Classy, Liam… classy.
WINNER: DEACON (via craziness, 1:21)
JS: Well, from here, we move to our final two matches of the night!
SHAMON vs. HENRY DYLAN
JS: After an entrance by Shamon—
LK: He danced.
JS: Right. Anyway, it’s hard to cover what actually happened.
LK: No, he actually danced TO the ring. Not sorta danced, or danced part of the way. He danced. ALL. THE. WAY. To the ring. I never realized, but this guys got the cardio of a cheetah.
JS: Cheetah’s don’t go long distances.
LK: Oh, well, he’s got the cardio of a… what can go long distances?
JS: Shamon. Because as the match started, he was quick to take the offense straight to Henry Dylan.
LK: You call that offense?
JS: When’s the last time you discounted an eye rake as a wrestling move?
LK: When it included a spin and a “hee-hee”.
JS: Shamon was somehow, strangely, in control of the match. In between hip-gyrations and crotch grabs (both his and Dylan’s), he would do a move or two. But the dancing clearly took Henry Dylan off his game.
LK: It took me off my game, and I don’t even HAVE a game.
JS: Fortunately for you, Shamon did one dance too many and Dylan took control.
LK: He’s my new favorite person.
JS: I’m sure that’ll go well for him.
(Shamon spins in a circle, oblivious to Henry Dylan until a stiff right hand takes him down. Dylan mounts Shamon, raining down no less than 20 punches to the head.)
JS: When the referee pulled Dylan off, Shamon could do no more dancing aside from rolling on the mat.
LK: That’s the kind of break dancing I like. Henry Dylan kept the hits coming.
(Dylan continues his moves with a short-arm clothesline, holding onto the hand and doing a finger stomp. Shamon grabs the hand and sucks on his fingers, curling away from Dylan who drops an elbow before locking on a headlock to pull Shamon back to his feet.)
JS: Dylan whipped Shamon into the ropes and hit a back body drop, but Shamon rolled over the back and landed, then reaching under Dylan’s legs to grab Dylan’s crotch.
(Dylan is dancing with Shamon holding on until Henry leaps into the air, breaking the grip. But upon landing, Shamon rolled over with his knees up “protectively” as Dylan “accidentally” hit the knees with a crotch shot.)
LK: This was SO unfair!
JS: It clearly was, and the referee warned Shamon as much. But the damage was done and Shamon took advantage, climbing to the top rope to perform Thriller – 360 splash from the top. The finish was elementary, even if the celebratory dancing was—
LK: Irritating!
JS: Depends on your perspective.
WINNER: SHAMON
JS: We’re down to our final match of the night! One of these men will become the final member of the ULTRATITLE’s final 32.
JEFFREY ROBERTS vs. KEN CLOVERLEAF
Former EPW star Ken Cloverleaf stands across the ring from Jeffrey Roberts, who is being checked by the official before the bell rings. Cloverleaf leans in for a collar and elbow but Roberts catches him with a hurricanrana to quicken the pace. Jeffrey charges a stunned Cloverleaf and catches him with a flying elbow, taking Ken into the corner. Irish whip to the other side, into a leaping clothesline. Cloverleaf stumbles out as Jeffrey climbs up top. Jeffrey with a front flip over Ken’s shoulders into a sunset flip gets two. Ken rolls through and rolls Jeffrey up for a two count himself.
Cloverleaf catches Roberts with a quick eye gouge, before hitting a neckbreaker. A DDT and a bulldog later get two. Ken hits a German with a bridge for two. Cloverleaf looks for his patented Texas Cloverleaf, but Robert fights out, kicking Ken away. Jeffrey to his feet and catches Ken square in the jaw with a superkick for two. Slingshot somersault leg drop from the outside in gets two. Belly to back suplex with a bridge gets two before Ken Cloverleaf hits Roberts in the gut with an elbow to break the bridge.
Ken with a swinging right, ducked by Roberts into a release german suplex. Roberts up top, beautiful 450° splash gets two before the official sees Ken Cloverleaf’s hand on the bottom rope.
Roberts climbs back up top and signals for the end. Roberts flies with a beautiful shooting star press, but aims his knees across Cloverleaf’s throat. Ken rolls out of the way, causing Roberts’ legs to his nothing but canvas. This cues up Cloverleaf to work over the legs. He catches a hobbling Roberts with a leg sweep. A few elbow drops to Jeffrey’s exposed knees, before wrapping his legs in a grapevine. Roberts struggles and squirms in pain. He reaches out and grabs the bottom rope, breaking the hold.
Cloverleaf with a chop block takes Roberts off his feet. Cloverleaf locks in a bow and arrow. The official checks on Roberts before noticing Ken’s shoulders on the mat. Two count, as Cloverleaf lifts his shoulder. This repeats again, Cloverleaf barely getting the shoulder up as he puts pressure on Roberts’ knees. As the official drops down for another three count, Coverleaf lets go of the bow and arrow and rolls Roberts onto his back. Two count.
Somewhat frustrated, Cloverleaf grabs Robert by his ankle. Cloverleaf slides out and SPLITS Roberts’ man hood using the steel ring post. Quickly, Cloverleaf locks in a figure four around the ring post as Roberts’ let’s are contorted a way they shouldn’t. The official reprimands Cloverleaf with a four count before Ken breaks the hold.
Ken slides in and stalks his prey. Drop toe hold into an STF, but Roberts’ fights away from the head clinch. A back headbutt from Roberts takes Ken by surprise. Another breaks the hold. Jeffrey hobbles to his feet with a noticeable limp. Ken charges, as Roberts’ uses his one good leg to leap onto Ken’s shoulders with a side headlock. One quick spin and Jeffrey Roberts’ plants Ken Cloverleaf square in the center of the ring with a jumping swinging DDT.
Double knock out spot, as Roberts tries to fight to his feet. After a few counts, Ken does the same. Ken’s recovery is quicker as he grabs Roberts. Jeffrey with an inside cradle gets two as his leg can’t keep the pinfall attempt locked in.
Cloverleaf back to his feet, Roberts with a quick drop kick to Ken’s knees. Floatover DDT gets two. Roberts in desperation climbs to the top rope, looking to end things.
But Ken cuts him off with a stiff right hand. Roberts’ is just hanging off the top. Ken climbs up top and places Roberts’ head between his thighs. He’s looking to end it with a SUPER Piledriver. Ken lifts Roberts, but Roberts uses the momentum to turn it into a hurricanrana position. Roberts’ with a few right hands, and Cloverleaf FALLS backward off the middle turnbuckle, back striking the mat HARD as Jeffrey lands on top with a seated senton. Jeffrey reaches behind and hooks the legs, and leans as far forward as he can for leverage.
Cloverleaf kicks out, but not before the three count is ushered. Roberts’ is flung across the ring, from Cloverleaf’s kick out, and can barely stand.
Even still, Jeffrey Roberts’ is moving on to Round 3 in the ULTRATITLE tournament, and Ken Cloverleaf is not.
WINNER: JEFFREY ROBERTS via pinfall (Seated Senton Reversal @ 19:31)
No one gave me a chance. Even Cobra, who might’ve got 1% of the bracket votes… GOT ONE PERCENT. Me? I was an afterthought, less than that. I was a loser.
At least until the ref made the 10-count…
To be honest, I barely heard the count, but I did hear the bell. And the announcer. It’d been a long time since I’d heard any announcer say, “and your winner – Bonecrusher!” It felt good. More importantly, it felt right.
Since then, my twitter followers have increased a hundredfold, thousand-fold even. Since then, people started to care what I thought. Sure, some discounted my win as a fluke, I’m this millennium’s version of the Mulkey Brothers making it to the Crockett Cup. Only problem with that – the Mulkeys didn’t last beyond the 1st round. “Mulkeymania” died a painful death. For me, not only did I get a seed in the tournament, but I got a win. Bonecrusher-mania was just getting started.
“Ready for your match?” Ikan Jobtayoo asked.
I turned to him, unintentionally glaring at the ‘jobber’. He wasn’t supposed to be here, at least if he didn’t buy a ticket. I told him as much. He glared back, but I’m pretty sure his glare was on purpose. He probably said something else, but I was too busy walking to my dressing room and didn’t bother to listen. It was probably more of the same crap about me just being lucky.
“Deacon’s going to pound you into a little sauce can,” Big Sauce Man said. He sat down at a picnic table, actually on the top of the table. My mother would’ve screamed at him something about glasses going there.
“That’s what Lane Cash thought he’d do too,” I said and kept on walking. “Guess he was mostly wrong.”
Lane Cash was wrong. He was coming into my territory. MY tournament in my backyard, and he thought he was facing Big Sauce Man, Cash didn’t have enough in his checking to keep from bouncing out of this tournament.
Just like “Lethal” Lex Taylor.
“What is this - a jobber convention?” I asked as I walked up to Mr. Lethality. “You already punched your ticket. Go back to the dregs you came from.”
“Dregs. Leave my grandma’s hairstyle alone,” he said with a sneer.
“You didn’t come out of your grandma’s hair. That would’ve been your momma.”
“Well, your momma is so fat they,” Lex stalled, “have a CB attached to her mouth.”
I heard something and turned. Something blotted out the lights. I heard a clang and felt a thwack. I’d done enough of these to know – chair shots hurt.
“Leave his momma out of this,” ‘Hot’ Johnny Tropic said, “she’s hot.”
“When did you ever meet my mother?” Lex asked.
“Which ti—“
Blissfully, I passed out before I could finish Johnny’s response.
WELCOME TO ULTRATITLE… AGAIN!
(CUTTO: Jim Sears and Liam Kennedy at their post in the arena.)
JS: Welcome to Bloomington, Illinois’ US Cellular Arena as we continue our coverage of Round two of the ULTRATITLE Tournament.
LK: They actually asked us back.
JS: When you do a good job…
LK: Or when you’re as cheap as you are.
JS: Or as hungry for attention as you are then they’ll take what they can get. We’ve got 4 matches to cover tonight.
LK: Thankfully, none of them feature Joey Melton.
JS: No, we don’t have the Arrogant one, but we do have the most unexpected Round 2 matchup.
LK: And that’s saying something when you have Cobra in round 2 instead of Dan Ryan.
JS: I don’t think we’re supposed to mention Dan Ryan anymore.
LK: I don’t think I got paid enough money to do what Erik Zieba wants.
JS: Uhm, Liam… Erik’s not running this thing.
LK: Oh… right.
JS: But what we do have in Bloomington is the Deacon against, and get ready for this people, Bonecrusher.
(Show a video of Bonecrusher as the crowd explodes in chants of his name.)
LK: Wasn’t he the wrestler in the Spiderman movie?
JS: No, that was Bonesaw. BoneCRUSHER is a former CSWA Greensboro champion who has fallen on hard times.
LK: Fallen on hard times? Falling implies that he’s gotten back up; he’s LIVED in hard times for over 10 years.
JS: But no more. Listen to this crowd! They are more into this guy than if it was an icon tearing up the airwaves.
LK: But he’s going to be tore up by the Deacon tonight.
JS: Did you actually put your vote behind the Deacon?
LK: No. Yes. No! I mean, it wasn’t so much behind the Deacon as against the Bonecrusher. It’s like voting for President; no one is actually FOR a candidate, they just hate the other guy more.
JS: Then we have two of the favorites in this bracket – Freddie Sagawa versus Shawn Jessica Hart PhD. Who do you have?
LK: There’s so much to love about Shawn Jessica Hart.
JS: Like Felicia?
LK: Oh yeah. Well, not just her. He’s good too.
JS: I’m going to have to go with the Kochi Cannibal.
LK: Then pick in our last matchup between Shamon and Henry Dylan.
JS: Dylan. Shamon dances too much.
JS: And our first match of the night, we have “The Godfather” Vincenzo Savonarola facing Alexander Hayes.
LK: The Godfather may have already done Hayes in.
JS: What?!
LK: You heard from Hayes?... exactly.
JS: Well, I have it on good word that Hayes is here and ready for a fight.
LK: So he didn’t take Savonarola’s offer then?
JS: Nope.
LK: Then he’s getting shot on the way to the ring.
JS: Let’s hope not.
“THE GODFATHER” VINCENZO SAVONAROLA vs. ALEXANDER HAYES
“The Godfather” put out his cigar and walked to the center of the ring, blowing a ring into Hayes’ face. Alexander exploded with a hook that was blocked. The veteran Vincenzo tore into Hayes with a series of punches that put him into the corner and then proceeded to slam around then stretch Hayes out. To say he dominated is a misnomer – he toyed with Hayes until finally locking in Sicilian Leglock (Reverse Figure Four leglock) to get the tapout victory.
WINNER: VINCENZO SAVONAROLA
(Back to Jim and Liam)
LK: That was almost fun.
JS: If you enjoy an exhibition clinic on how to tear a wrestler down, that would be it. But if you wanted a contest, that certainly wasn’t it.
LK: If our next match is Deacon versus Bonecrusher, this crowd is going to riot.
JS: Next up is most certainly not that.
LK: There is a GOD!
JS: You really are being a Deacon acolyte.
LK: For this week? I can live with that.
“THE AFTERMATH” JOHN MCDONOUGH vs. JACK HARMEN
The “Crazy Train” kicked in as the “Man Who Used To Fly High” made his way to ring to meet up against “The Aftermath.” The two veterans should hands in the middle of the ring, Jack Harmen shaking off some nerves by bouncing on one half of the ring while former NWC standout Jack McDonough simple stood to one side stone-faced. Both surged forward as the bell rung, locking up, with Flyer quickly stepping behind. McDonough quickly dropped to his knees, pulling Harmen over with an arm drag, then a quick short clothesline as he kipped up.
McDonough continued to dominate early, keeping Harmen off his feet with a series of snap suplexes followed by a kneedrop from the second rope. Harmen was able to reverse McDonough’s attempt at a powered suplex off the ropes but springing high with a Thesz press, taking McDonough to the mat and keeping him there with a series of punches. Harmen pulled McDonough up, putting him in a vertical suplex of his own, but McDonough rolled through, almost going completely out of the ring. Catching himself on the apron, McDonough found Harmen right behind him, hooking the head from behind and applying a Dragon SLEEP! (Dragon sleeper) on him using the ropes as leverage. Harmen broke the hold just before referee Ben Worthington’s five-count, then brought McDonough into the ring with a tiger suplex that got him a two-count!
McDonough kicks out and got to his feet, only to find his Harmen moving, locking his arm around McDonough’s back, then powering him 270 degrees over with a huge Super Blizzard ranhei for the pin.
WINNER: JACK HARMEN (via Super Blizzard at 6:23)
JOBBERS RUN THE SHOW?
“Johnny did the deed,” he said.
I nodded. Speaking wasn’t necessary, not to someone of such common heritage. I didn’t even know his name. Names were as unnecessary as breath.
“But don’t you think taking Bonecrusher out is a mistake? He’s done something that the council has dreamed of for years. Not since the mighty Mulkeys has such an occurrence occurred. Bonecrusher survived Lane Cash, perhaps Deacon will fall to the same fate?
I glared. Of course, he stopped his inane questioning of my thought processes. I have never lost a game of checkers or even Candyland. I would not lose this game either. The council was full of fools and idiotic fools at that.
“Are you sure this is going to work?”
I studied him, my eyes digging deep within the wells of his soul, revealing his darkest nightmares and most climactic dreams. He liked it.
“Of course you are,” he said with a slight blush.
It is a power I hold over men, to study them and to learn their weaknesses, exploiting all to my advantage. I take the weak-minded and mold them into an army to go forth and conquer. This ham-n-egger is little more than a herald, but he will know the true power I wield. Indeed, he has already felt it.
“I should have never doubted you. Lex Taylor took out Johnny Tropic. Big Sauce Man took out Lex. And Ikan Jobtoya tripped over Johnny’s body and took out Big Sauce. All of the pieces fell like you’d said they would.”
I smiled. Of course it had, but I was saving my coup-de-grace for the Deacon.
PAT GORDON, JR vs. “THE PEOPLE’S CHOICE” AUGUST JOYCE
Pat Gordon Jr., second generation superstar, paid tribute to his father before the bell rang. August Joyce leaned in and locked up a collar and elbow tie up. Hammerlock by Joyce on Gordon. Gordon with a go behind. Joyce grabs the hair and rolls through, a modified arm drag as both men get to their feet. Gordon goes for a clubbing clothesline but Joyce catches him and hits a beautiful t-bone suplex.
Gordon rolls to the bottom ropes and uses them to recover. Lock back up, arm wringer by Joyce. Gordon with a reversal into a hammerlock. Joyce tries to redo his previous arm drag but Gordon let’s go, causing Joyce to drop to his knees. Gordon with an elbow drop to the back of Joyce’s exposed neck. Roll over for a one count. Gordon waits as Joyce charges, drop toe hold. Float over into a headlock. Gordon wrenches the hold in as Joyce fights to his feet. Joyce with a right to Gordon’s gut, but Gordon hits a nice swinging neck breaker for two.
Gordon goes for a kick to the midsection but August catches it, dragon screw takeover. Gordon recovers, and catches a Joyce kick, before August swings his legs up and catches the side of Gordon’s head with an enzeguri. Joyce gets two. Snap suplex by Joyce, and a snap DDT combo gets two.
Joyce with an irish whip, reversal, Joyce off the ropes with a spinning wheel kick that Gordon ducks! Joyce lands back first on the mat and rolls to recover, only Gordon DIVES with a torpedo headbutt he calls the Irish kiss. August Joyce groggily falls out of the ring.
August Joyce takes his time on the outside to regroup. Gordon gives it to him. As the referee gets to seven, Joyce rolls back in, cautious of a sneak attack. Gordon however, lets him get back to his feet. The two lock up, collar and elbow. Joyce with a stiff elbow to the side of Gordon’s head. Joyce irish whips Gordon into the turnbuckle, but reversed. Gordon charges with a BIG splash. Gordon with a scoop slam and places Joyce on the turnbuckle in a tree of woe. After a moment of pandering to the crowd, Gordon charges and catches Joyce with a tree of woe dropkick to cheers.
Gordon gets two. Gordon hooks Joyce up and irish whips him off the ropes. No, Joyce with a reversal, and a third reversal by Gordon as Pat shoots August into the corner, sternum first. The wind knocked out, Joyce backs out, stumbling. Gordon from behind, hooked his legs with his belly to back suplex. A lift, and one Sunday Morning Hangover later (Omega Driver), Gordon hooks the legs, gets the three, and moves on to round 3!
WINNER: PAT GORDON JR. via pinfall (Sunday Morning Hangover @ 13:11)
FREDDIE SAGAWA vs. SHAWN JESSICA HART, PH.D.
LK: If the Cannibal makes Shawn Hart bleed…
JS: I know… you’re outta here.
LK: Oh no. If you haven’t noticed, I’ve worked on my fear of blood.
JS: Well, as this match started, blood wasn’t on the mind – wrestling was, and both men gave as good as they got.
Sagawa hits a Mexican armdrag. Hart hits the mat and pops back up to be armdragged over again. Sagawa hung on, locking on an armbar for a moment until Hart put his legs around Sagawa’s arm and leveled him with a kick. Hart got up and took Sagawa down with a fireman’s carry and then an armlock of his own.
JS: But as with any match of even opponent’s, at some point, someone had to take over.
LK: Shawn’s on top, isn’t he?
JS: Well, not exactly on top.
Sagawa hit the ropes and springboarded, spinning in mid-air to catch Hart by the head and spin. Or try to spin, but ended up getting an inverted atomic drop and then a Northern Light’s Suplex bridged for a pin attempt, getting a two count. Hart grabbed a leg and put on an inside heel lock.
JS: It was clear that taking the Cannibal’s legs out from under him was the plan, and clearly a solid one. Taking the daredevil’s legs out from under him and he’s got nothing left.
LK: He’s got a head.
JS: Yes, he does.
LK: On a noose.
JS: … that too.
LK: Just saying.
Freddie kicked Hart several times in the head, breaking the hold. He fought to his feet at the same time as Shawn Hart. Sagawa quicker with a series of sharp elbows to the head and then into the ropes with a springboard Asai Moonsault that took Hart down.
JS: But Sagawa got ahead and he never looked back.
LK: Don’t say it.
JS: I have to. Taking the Ph.D. down with a finish Pitagora Sochi (Gory Special into Sitout Power bomb).
WINNER: FREDDIE SAGAWA
LK: Am I doomed to not get what I want in this tournament?
JS: I don’t know. But up next you get “The Epitome,” is that enough?
LK: For now…
TROY WINDHAM vs. KEVIN WATSON
Kevin Watson, the last CSWA Greensboro Champion, stared across the ring to a wrestling legend he knows well, Troy Windham. Once the bell rings, Windham attacks, looking to lock in the Windham claw. Watson goes right for the ropes to break up the hold/attempt. The two are split up. Watson carefully circling Windham. Windham goes for a collar and elbow but Watson ducks underneath. Off the ropes on the other side, Windham turns with a discus-like West Texas Lariat, taking Watson clear off his feet.
Windham takes the opportunity to catch Watson with a plethora of maneuvers. A classic Texan bulldog, DDT, and powerbomb later gets two. Windham climbs up top and flies with a moonsault, but Watson rolls out of the way to the shock of the crowd. Watson takes advantage with a dropkick, into a snap DDT, and then rolls through a charging Windham before locking him in a half crab.
Windham is in pain but doesn’t let it show. With his height advantage, Windham begins to push out of the half crab. He arches his back as his palms press his upper body off the canvas, forcing Watson to let go and roll out of the half crab. Both men back up, as Watson leans in for a grapple, Windham pops him in the face with a right hand. Windham leans down and picks Watson up onto his back for a fireman’s carry. But Watson uses his weight advantage to pull Windham down and roll him in a crucifix.
That just gets two. Troy gets to his feet and CATCHES Windham with another Texas Lariat, this time taking Watson clear off his feet. Troy hooks Watson and sets him on the top. A few rights later, and Windham hits a prone Watson with a superplex.
After a delay to cover, Windham gets two. Windham shakes his head, grabbing Watson by his to drag him to his feet. Watson swats Troy’s hands away from his grip, kick to the gut and Watson hits a beautiful release northern lights. Russian leg sweep follows for two. Watson looks to lock in the Cloverleaf Leglock, but Windham catches Watson with an uncharacteristic roll up for two.
Both men up, Windham with a wild right hand that Watson ducks, COBRA CLUTCH! Watson has the Cobra clutch locked in. Watson has to leap off the canvas to lock the hold in. He is in a precarious position as he wraps his legs around Windham’s gut. He can’t get Windham down to the mat for his Tap Out, and Windham backs up and SLAMS Watson back first into the corner. Windham with a couple shoulder blocks to Watson’s gut, and SHOOTS him off the other side. Watson hits the turnbuckle hard, stumbling out, disoriented…
…as Windham catches him from behind with the SLACKKNIFE! An academic three count later, and Troy Windham advances in the ULTRATITLE!
WINNER: TROY WINDHAM (via Slackknife @ 14:07)
DEACON vs. BONECRUSHER
JS: And now, Deacon is up next!
“And our first contestant,” the announcer said, “BONECRUSHER!”
He didn’t have music, at least nothing more than the chant of his Bonecrusher fans chanting his name. The chant began to catch on and soon, the entire crowd seemed to be chanting his name for a full minute until everyone realized, no one was coming out of the curtain.
The announcer said his name again but the cheers had diminished, no one quite sure what was happening. After a moment, the timekeeper went into the ring and whispered to the announcer.
“And our first contestant in this round two match…DEA-CON!”
Deacon’s music and such hit and the big Mute Freak went to the ring. He, like everyone else, questioned what was going to happen when…
“Is that who I think it is?” Jim Sears said. “That is Ikan Jobtayoo. What’s he doing here?”
“Staggering his way to the ring,” Liam added, “the way it looks to me.”
Ikan Jobtayoo made it down the ramp. Barely. He didn’t notice a bloody Big Sauce Man coming behind him with a chair. Sauce Man slammed it into Ikan, knocking him out, then tripped over him, Big Sauce hitting his head against the security railing and not getting back up.
“Lethal” Lex Taylor fell through the curtain a moment before “Hot” Johnny Tropic stepped through. With a rage-filled scream, Johnny picked up Lex and backed away before running full tilt, hitting a clothesline that knocked Lex Taylor off the stage area. Only problem? Tropic fell right behind him.
Inside the ring, Deacon turned to Chris Shepherd. Chris only shrugged.
Just as Bonecrusher fell through the curtain. He crawled down the rampway, his eyes focused on the ring, on his opponent, on his dreams, as the crowd cheered him like he was the greatest champion of all time. And they booed all the more when Ikan Jobtayoo grabbed his leg and wouldn’t let go. Bonecrusher fell. Big Sauce Man dropped an elbow on Ikan Jobtayoo, releasing the grip. Bonecrusher continued his crawl to the ring when Big Sauce Man dropped an elbow to his back. Using the security railing, Sauce Man staggered forward. Behind him, Lex Taylor and Johnny Tropic rose to their feet and began trading punches and pushes. Bonecrusher got to his feet and ran toward Sauce Man, clobbering him with an axe-handle smash to the back of the head a moment before Taylor and Tropic stopped fighting and realized Bonecrusher was going to make it to the ring. They both went forward, slowly building up steam, until they both were charging toward Crusher. He turned at the last possible moment and got a double clothesline from the ‘team’. He dropped and Taylor and Tropic realized they were the last two standing men when…
The lights went out. A giant blue laser-styled beam shined, encapsulating them. With a boom of fireworks, Tropic and Taylor ran away. The lights turned on. Standing in the ring.
“My plan has worked perfectly,” Space God said.
“Space God? It’s Space God?” Jim said.
“This is going to go bad,” Liam added. “I know this is going to go bad!”
The next moment, Deacon kicked the Deity from the Stars into oblivion, knocking him over the top rope and to the floor below, landing and hitting Bonecrusher who was still trying to make it to the ring.
“So what do we do now?” Sears asked. No answer was coming, not even from Liam, until Bonecrusher rolled into the ring, eerily like he had to win his Round One match. Except this time, his opponent was already in the ring and very capable of wrestling.
“Call for the bell,” the referee said, gesturing for Deacon to pin Bonecrusher. Deacon looked at the carnage in the aisle, at Bonecrusher and then back at the referee as if saying, “you’re kidding, right?” The ref wasn’t kidding though. Chris Shepherd got on the apron and told the referee that Bonecrusher can’t continue and to just call the match, but even as he talked, Bonecrusher used the Deacon to pull himself to his feet.
“Stay down,” Chris said.
Bonecrusher’s answer? Like Shawn Michaels all those years before, Bonecrusher defiantly slapped the Deacon across the face.
And then collapsed once again.
JS: The Deacon pinning Bonecrusher ended, quite possibly, the most memorably match in the history of the Ultratitle. Or at least the strangest.
LK: Alright! That makes me one for … how many’d I miss in my bracket?
JS: You had Dan Ryan winning the whole thing.
LK: #$%@!
JS: Classy, Liam… classy.
WINNER: DEACON (via craziness, 1:21)
JS: Well, from here, we move to our final two matches of the night!
SHAMON vs. HENRY DYLAN
JS: After an entrance by Shamon—
LK: He danced.
JS: Right. Anyway, it’s hard to cover what actually happened.
LK: No, he actually danced TO the ring. Not sorta danced, or danced part of the way. He danced. ALL. THE. WAY. To the ring. I never realized, but this guys got the cardio of a cheetah.
JS: Cheetah’s don’t go long distances.
LK: Oh, well, he’s got the cardio of a… what can go long distances?
JS: Shamon. Because as the match started, he was quick to take the offense straight to Henry Dylan.
LK: You call that offense?
JS: When’s the last time you discounted an eye rake as a wrestling move?
LK: When it included a spin and a “hee-hee”.
JS: Shamon was somehow, strangely, in control of the match. In between hip-gyrations and crotch grabs (both his and Dylan’s), he would do a move or two. But the dancing clearly took Henry Dylan off his game.
LK: It took me off my game, and I don’t even HAVE a game.
JS: Fortunately for you, Shamon did one dance too many and Dylan took control.
LK: He’s my new favorite person.
JS: I’m sure that’ll go well for him.
(Shamon spins in a circle, oblivious to Henry Dylan until a stiff right hand takes him down. Dylan mounts Shamon, raining down no less than 20 punches to the head.)
JS: When the referee pulled Dylan off, Shamon could do no more dancing aside from rolling on the mat.
LK: That’s the kind of break dancing I like. Henry Dylan kept the hits coming.
(Dylan continues his moves with a short-arm clothesline, holding onto the hand and doing a finger stomp. Shamon grabs the hand and sucks on his fingers, curling away from Dylan who drops an elbow before locking on a headlock to pull Shamon back to his feet.)
JS: Dylan whipped Shamon into the ropes and hit a back body drop, but Shamon rolled over the back and landed, then reaching under Dylan’s legs to grab Dylan’s crotch.
(Dylan is dancing with Shamon holding on until Henry leaps into the air, breaking the grip. But upon landing, Shamon rolled over with his knees up “protectively” as Dylan “accidentally” hit the knees with a crotch shot.)
LK: This was SO unfair!
JS: It clearly was, and the referee warned Shamon as much. But the damage was done and Shamon took advantage, climbing to the top rope to perform Thriller – 360 splash from the top. The finish was elementary, even if the celebratory dancing was—
LK: Irritating!
JS: Depends on your perspective.
WINNER: SHAMON
JS: We’re down to our final match of the night! One of these men will become the final member of the ULTRATITLE’s final 32.
JEFFREY ROBERTS vs. KEN CLOVERLEAF
Former EPW star Ken Cloverleaf stands across the ring from Jeffrey Roberts, who is being checked by the official before the bell rings. Cloverleaf leans in for a collar and elbow but Roberts catches him with a hurricanrana to quicken the pace. Jeffrey charges a stunned Cloverleaf and catches him with a flying elbow, taking Ken into the corner. Irish whip to the other side, into a leaping clothesline. Cloverleaf stumbles out as Jeffrey climbs up top. Jeffrey with a front flip over Ken’s shoulders into a sunset flip gets two. Ken rolls through and rolls Jeffrey up for a two count himself.
Cloverleaf catches Roberts with a quick eye gouge, before hitting a neckbreaker. A DDT and a bulldog later get two. Ken hits a German with a bridge for two. Cloverleaf looks for his patented Texas Cloverleaf, but Robert fights out, kicking Ken away. Jeffrey to his feet and catches Ken square in the jaw with a superkick for two. Slingshot somersault leg drop from the outside in gets two. Belly to back suplex with a bridge gets two before Ken Cloverleaf hits Roberts in the gut with an elbow to break the bridge.
Ken with a swinging right, ducked by Roberts into a release german suplex. Roberts up top, beautiful 450° splash gets two before the official sees Ken Cloverleaf’s hand on the bottom rope.
Roberts climbs back up top and signals for the end. Roberts flies with a beautiful shooting star press, but aims his knees across Cloverleaf’s throat. Ken rolls out of the way, causing Roberts’ legs to his nothing but canvas. This cues up Cloverleaf to work over the legs. He catches a hobbling Roberts with a leg sweep. A few elbow drops to Jeffrey’s exposed knees, before wrapping his legs in a grapevine. Roberts struggles and squirms in pain. He reaches out and grabs the bottom rope, breaking the hold.
Cloverleaf with a chop block takes Roberts off his feet. Cloverleaf locks in a bow and arrow. The official checks on Roberts before noticing Ken’s shoulders on the mat. Two count, as Cloverleaf lifts his shoulder. This repeats again, Cloverleaf barely getting the shoulder up as he puts pressure on Roberts’ knees. As the official drops down for another three count, Coverleaf lets go of the bow and arrow and rolls Roberts onto his back. Two count.
Somewhat frustrated, Cloverleaf grabs Robert by his ankle. Cloverleaf slides out and SPLITS Roberts’ man hood using the steel ring post. Quickly, Cloverleaf locks in a figure four around the ring post as Roberts’ let’s are contorted a way they shouldn’t. The official reprimands Cloverleaf with a four count before Ken breaks the hold.
Ken slides in and stalks his prey. Drop toe hold into an STF, but Roberts’ fights away from the head clinch. A back headbutt from Roberts takes Ken by surprise. Another breaks the hold. Jeffrey hobbles to his feet with a noticeable limp. Ken charges, as Roberts’ uses his one good leg to leap onto Ken’s shoulders with a side headlock. One quick spin and Jeffrey Roberts’ plants Ken Cloverleaf square in the center of the ring with a jumping swinging DDT.
Double knock out spot, as Roberts tries to fight to his feet. After a few counts, Ken does the same. Ken’s recovery is quicker as he grabs Roberts. Jeffrey with an inside cradle gets two as his leg can’t keep the pinfall attempt locked in.
Cloverleaf back to his feet, Roberts with a quick drop kick to Ken’s knees. Floatover DDT gets two. Roberts in desperation climbs to the top rope, looking to end things.
But Ken cuts him off with a stiff right hand. Roberts’ is just hanging off the top. Ken climbs up top and places Roberts’ head between his thighs. He’s looking to end it with a SUPER Piledriver. Ken lifts Roberts, but Roberts uses the momentum to turn it into a hurricanrana position. Roberts’ with a few right hands, and Cloverleaf FALLS backward off the middle turnbuckle, back striking the mat HARD as Jeffrey lands on top with a seated senton. Jeffrey reaches behind and hooks the legs, and leans as far forward as he can for leverage.
Cloverleaf kicks out, but not before the three count is ushered. Roberts’ is flung across the ring, from Cloverleaf’s kick out, and can barely stand.
Even still, Jeffrey Roberts’ is moving on to Round 3 in the ULTRATITLE tournament, and Ken Cloverleaf is not.
WINNER: JEFFREY ROBERTS via pinfall (Seated Senton Reversal @ 19:31)