Yori Yakamo jr
League Member
THE WRESTLING CHRONICLE’S WNW REPORT FOR 12/6/06
Nashville, TN
Matt Burke, reporting
Welcome ladies and germs to WNW. Coming off the TREMENDOUS Total Elimination PPV, things are looking up for the company, if not so good for certain people in it. Early buyrate estimates project it a full .15 over Awakenings. Top to bottom good show, anglelicious, but still brought two very, very good matches in the Tag and World title matches. Let’s see how they follow up.
QH1
It’s a cold open as the PbProers make there way down to ringside to vociferous boos. They did manage to squeak out a sell out, but this is not a town used to paying for wrestling tickets, and the south was never a huge territory for MBE. Might be overextending themselves a bit here. You know, the PbProers really need a name, e-mail me, and I’ll throw up the best next week.
FF is on the STICK! And immediately talks circles around half the roster. This is about what is best for MBE. MBE needs people like FF, proven commodities and proven wrestling minds to take the reigns of the business from senile old coots and perverted young coots. BURN~! This isn’t the end of MBE, far from it. This is a grand new beginning. The crowd does not seem to agree. This group reaches across generations of MBE, across rivalries, and across continents to form a perfect group to lead MBE into its new, brighter future. He is sure the boardroom and the locker room will raise a fuss, but soon they will all toe the line and see the light. It’s up to them whether it is going to be the easy way or the hard way.
He hands off the mic to Promo who soaks in some boos before saying that he finally feels welcome in MBE, no matter what the IDIOT FANS have to say. People who understand, recognize, and fuel his desire to be the absolute best. That recognize that he has the air of a champion, that the whole fed should be built around the one man bold and brave enough to lead it into wrestling nirvana. A man called Promo, apparently. Before Promo can enlighten us further, “My Sharona” hits, indicating things are about to get SUPERSEXAY~! Yup, it’s YYJ and he looks positively all business. He’s even wearing a suit. Granted, it’s a shade of green usually only seen on Vegas billboards, but a suit nonetheless.
Yori ain’t alone either, as Yamada and the whole roster is out with him. Except Doc Silver, shock of shocks. Yori gets on the stick and says that he is the man in charge around these parts. He pays the bills, he writes the checks, he crafts the dildos, or something like that. And he is laying down the law. PbPro wants to play in his sandbox, then that sandbox is gonna be filled with lube and dildos and possibly kendo sticks. He hasn’t quite decided yet, but it will be the supersexiest hardcore match MBE has ever seen! Okay, then.
FF is back on the mic, and says Yori is just the kind of person that will run MBE into the ground. Has he even heard of the FCC? The face of a major corporation like PbPro shouldn’t be a convicted sex offender. Alleged convicted sex offender, Yori bandies back. FF says it doesn’t matter, because as of last week, he has no booking powers in MBE anymoe. Yori is aghast. FF asks if he was really stupid enough to think that form Ayako made him sign before he schtupped her was a paternity waver. Yamada gives Yori a look of death. FF is shocked that Yamada didn’t know about that. Yori looks like he is expecting a good thrashing. Anyway, the form gave his share of booking control to a PbPro representative, namely FF. So he can kiss his perverted stipulations goodbye, but since he wants a piece of PbPro and he has a wrestler’s contract, he can meet A next week one on one. A smiles and cracks his knuckles, and Yori looks like he is going to sweat through that suit, which I’ll take a shot in the dark and assume is polyester. FF says it’s about time for MBE to pay the bills, and maybe even show some wrestling. Besides, Yori and Yamada probably have some things to discuss. So we’ll be right back.
I’m not a big fan of talking segments to open the show, but MBE doesn’t do it much, so it seems important, and it did a good job of catching everyone up. Don’t know about the dueling authority figures, but they did a good job of turning Yamada against Yori so this might work. Yori/A could be epically bizarre. There is a ton of backstage bad blood there, so who knows what’ll happen.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH2
Hey, actual wrestling. It’s time for some tag team action as Cool Frank Cutta and Jock McCrunk take on The Thrillbillies. Kind of an unusual pairing after their entertaining debacle at the PPV, but hey MBE needs tag teams, and god knows they aren’t afraid to just throw some dudes together. Jock and CFC already get into it a bit on the apron before the match starts, but CFC tries to calm things down. He starts against Hoss, and it quickly devolved into a slug fest. Well, there was an armbar in there somewhere. Hoss hits a turning powerslam and tags out to Jake who springboards in with a dropkick that knocks CFC clear from the ring. That brings in Jock who gets an amateur takedown and rolls it into a leg bar. Jake makes the ropes quickly. CFC and Jock actually bring the TEAMWORK! With a double team suplex. And Jock goes to work on the back of Jake with a backbreaker and a bow and arrow. Some quick tags in and out keep the pressure on, but the inevitable happens with some MISCOMMUNICATION~! And Jock takes off CFC’s head with a clothesline instead of Jake.
HOT TAG HOSS! and its fisticuffs for all. Jock and Hoss start exchanging elbows, but Hoss drives the Entourage member from the ring with a flurry of right hands. CFC smells blood and jumps Hoss from behind, but Hoss tosses him out onto Jock. Uh-oh. Jock is a little annoyed. Nope, things look okay. Nevermind. Out comes the pimp can, down goes CFC. Hoss and Jake are just looking on, now. CFC with the low blow and he tosses Jock into the barricade. He’s gonna go it alone. That doesn’t go to well as he runs into a double team spinebuster. Kicks out at two, though. He counters a Dixie driver and shoves Hoss into Jake and tries to steal it with a schoolboy. NO! Hoss is out. And here’s Jock!. Low blow! Pimp Slap! Glasgow Smile! Yikes. CFC is bleeding from the mouth now. Jock kicks him a few times before leaving CFC to the billies. Well, this looks like one wacky mismatched tag team that didn’t quite work. Hoss shrugs and makes the cover, and the Billies take this one.
WINNER: THE THRILLBILLIES (8:21 Hoss-> CFC: Glagow Smile-> pinfall)
Well, a nice change from the usual champs drop a fall to set up title match scenario. Don’t know if I’d heel out Jock, but we’ll see how it goes.
Backstage, Biff wants to know why Doc wasn’t out there with the rest of MBE to confront PbPro, seeing as he is the world champ. Doc isn’t much of a rah rah pep rally guy. He prefers to let his actions speak louder than his words. Biff points out that he wouldn’t have had to actually talk, just stand there. Which probably counts as an action. Okay then, Doc wants to lead by example. And that means being a fighting champion and going through the best MBE has to offer. Biff wants to know why he is starting with Juen Lee, then? Well, Doc had to start somewhere. Now Biff wants to know if he is worried about Duchess. Doc says she is just another title defense on the list. He can’t be bothered thinking that far ahead, he has to live in the here and now. He has to take it one day at a time, and god willing, he’ll get some victories. So he’ll be focusing on Juen Lee and not looking ahead to future matches. Biff accuses Doc of just spouting clichés. There is an awkward pause before Doc bursts out laughing. He’s gonna mail in his match against Juen, so why not mail in the interview, too. Hey, he’s the champ. He should get a can or two to make him look good before the next real challenge. And seeing as Duchess hardly counts, it looks like he’s gonna be looking good a whole lot in the near future.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
The Lot arrive outside their dressing room to find a giant package at their door. Mac postulates that perhaps it is the life size statue of Steve MacLean made out of butter that Nate’s sister promised to send them for the Wednesday Bus. I see that the Lot are real company men, picking up the weirdness slack for Yori in his time of crisis. A quick google search shows that Steve MacLean is the striker for the beloved Wednesday. The soccer team, not the hooligan team. The box begins to shake a bit back and forth and Mac practially jumps into Nate’s arms. Mac tells Nate to open it, and the mustachioed hooligan knocks the box over and starts stomping on it, just in case. Hey, it’s Juen Lee! Mac is a little upset that Juen air mailed himself to the arena instead of called them for a ride. He says it better not be C.O.D. I’m sure there is a hilarious backstory here, but Mac’s foremost concern is getting Juen ready for his title match. They drag the prone Juen into their locker room, his door hitting the frame on the way in as Mac calls “fair play,” whatever that means
QH3
Back to in-ring action, as we have a pair of debuting wrestlers, Lumberjack O’Malley and Ace Mason. MBE continues to expand its roster, which is a good sign for the future of the company. And god knows I love wrestling lumberjacks. The wood chips are a nice touch too. Strength versus submissions match-up as Mason tries to keep the big treecutter on the mat, and O’Malley does his best to toss Mason around His gorilla press slam is quite impressive looking. He misses a charge in the corner, though, and Mason takes over, working the back with a Russian Leg sweep and a half crab.
A suplex is countered in a bodyslam by O’Malley, though, and Mason eats a running bulldog for two. Mason escapes another gorilla press, and quickly hits a lungblower. Ouchie. He flips the lumberjack over and applies a deep camel clutch. He calls that the Iciing Gavones, and O’Malley decides to call that a day, as he taps out.
WINNER: ACE MASON (5:37: Icing Gavones)
Backstage, the Biffster is with Cool Frank Cutta, and he is CALLING OUT JOCK MCCRUNK. That’s two straight weeks Jock couldn’t keep his hands to himself. They teach you that **** in nursery school, preach on CFC. If Jock is a man, he will attack CFC to his face next week at WNW. And that’s all the Cutta has to say. He shoves the mic back into Biff’s chest and marches off.
Yori is sitting by the craft’s service table with his Inner Sextum. Apparently they got kicked out of their office by the PbProers and are going to have to pay for all the Sexrobot shaped holes in the wall. Of which I imagine there are quite a few by now. And now Yori is getting hosed at Pinnochle by the Thai Hookers. Not a good week for the Cerebral Cocksassin. And it’s about to get worse as Promo and FF walk by with a clipboard. FF mentions very loudly that the company is wasting tons of money. Look at this, we have a sex robot, ten thai hookers, a hobo, and JUSTIN EVITABLE under contract. Justin gets up in FF’s face and says that he beat the bastard once and if FF has the guts, he’ll step into the ring with him any time. Promo laughs and says Justin should try beating the JV squad before he steps into the ring with the BMOC. FF ignores Justin completely and keeps droning on about the waste in this company. He says he has an idea. If Yori loses next week, the hookers and the hobo have to go find a real job. The sex robot can stay, because Yori will need someone to keep him warm at night after the ass-kicking he’s gonna get. Yori says what does he get if he wins. FF says an ice cream sundae. Yori says IT’S ON! That ice cream sundae will be the best he ever had, because it will TASTE LIKE VICTORY. FF says he was kidding, you moron, you don’t win an ice cream sundae. You win nothing. But you guys should be used to that by now. FF stalks off as Promo laughs a little too hard and follows him.
Man, I could watch two hours of Freakfish just walking around being a dick to whoever he meets backstage every week.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH4
Biff Bentley catches up with Ace Mason for some thoughts on his debut victory in MBE. It was quite gratifying, but he is after one thing here in MBE, and that is the Tag Team Championship. He has been watching the Billies, and he wants their titles. To that end, he has brought in and old friend of his, Fusenshoff. Hoff says that he and Ace will be the next tag team champions of Message Board Entertainment, no matter who stands in their way. They issue an open challenge to any tag team in the back next week to take them on, so they can show the MBE fans what they are capable of.
Speaking of tag teams, some soccer chanting hits on the arena PA. It’s Lot time! The Lot is carrying the still mostly unconscious Juen Lee to ringside. I call BAIT AND SWITCH. I was promised Juen Lee wrestling a bear, where’s my BEAR CONTRA DIMINUTIVE KOREAN? Doc comes out with appropriate fanfare, as Dority and Greenie carry him out on a giant golden throne. Should have borrowed some of Yori’s Thai Hookers to fan him or something. Well, they get about halfway down the ramp before Greenie has to put his end of the throne down. Doc is livid as Greenie says something about his blood pressure. THE CHAMP stomps off to the ring and orders them to get the throne back to the theater rental store before he has to pay a late fee. He steps through the ropes and surveys his opposition, currently being propped up by the ring ropes. Doc sighs, and tells the ref to start the match.
He quickly charges, but finds Juen yanked out of harm’s way by Nate and Doc crashes into the turnbuckles. Doc is a little annoyed and chases after Juen as Nate drags him behind him…into the ring steps. Ooh. Not so good. Doc rolls Juen back into the ring and goes for a cover, but the plucky little hooligan is out at two. Doc hoists the Korean over his head and holds him there for a good twenty seconds before delivering the hanging suplex. DOC SILVER = POWER MONSTER. That only gets two, as well. Doc hits the ropes, but falls victim to blatant cheating as he is tripped up by Nate. Mac urges Juen to capitalize, but Juen just sort of lies there. Doc goes right for the Ace’s Full Stunner, but Juen counters with a hair pull and a knee drop before falling over again. Well, that was a second wind…of sorts.
Doc is annoyed now and hits his superkick as Juen tries to figure out where he is. He covers…but Mac puts Juen’s foot on the rope at two. The crowd is getting deeply into Juen here. The world’s hatred for Doc knows no bounds. Doc goes for a bodyslam. SMALL PACKAGE!. NO! Doc is out. Didn’t see that one coming. Doc stomps Juen down as Nate tries to drag him from the ring. Doc is having none of that, and it’s a JUEN LEE TUG O’ WAR! Nate lets go finally and Juen splats into Doc and lands on top. Doc is out at two! Well, this is a fine first defense for the federation’s most prestigious title. Doc has had enough and after about twenty elbow drops, hits the Ace’s Full Stunner for the duke.
WINNER: DOC SILVER (6:31: Ace’s Full)
Fireworks go off and confetti come down in the arena as Doc does a victory lap with the title at ringside. Awesome. Doc tells the camera that he is your hero, now. They need to do this once a week.
The Lot enter the ring and drag Juen back up the rampway behind them. Poor little hooligan. Maybe we’ll finally get to see him wrestle a bear next week.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH5
It’s time for an interview with The Fresh One. He says Jock has something to say first. Jock says he’ll meet the Cutta any time, any place. And he’ll get a pimp slap for his trouble. You don’t mess with McCrunk, and you don’t mess with the Entourage. Jogi says CFC is a dead man, just like Justin Evitable. It’s nothing personal with Justin. But it ain’t business either. Jogi has been screwed two weeks in a row, and Justin is gonna be his personal punching bag this week, wrong place, wrong time. Simple as that. Jogi has his eyes on the prize, the world title, and whoever stands in his way, is gonna fall. He doesn’t get the next sentence out as a chair flies into view and cracks Jogi. The camera wheels to show the PbProers. Jock takes a swing with his pimp can, but Ravage catches it and cracks it over his knee, while A drops the Crunkmeister with a savate kick. FF grabs the mic from Biff and says Jogi and Jock are going to be the first to learn the hard way that it is best to stay out of PbPro business.. Ravage chokeslams Jock through the craft’s service table as Promo lays the boots into Jogi. A spike piledriver on the concrete puts The Fresh One down as security and about half the roster finally arrives to break it up and PbPro beats a hasty retreat.
A promo package for MBE Evolution airs, live from The Fogleman Arena at Tulane University in New Orleans. Duchess and Doc are featured heavily.
The sounds of Tool hit the soundsystem and The True Face is heading down to ringside. He is all alone this week and does not look too happy. Till speculates that he wanted to get some revenge on Jogi, but not like this. EMTs are working on Jogi right now, so Justin is just coming down to get a countout victory. But the Fresh One’s music hits, and Jogi comes down to ringside, shaking off a bunch of medics that are trying to get him to come backstage. Justin rolls his eyes and shouts at Jogi to get his neck looked at, but The Fresh One doesn’t back down and he charges right at Justin and takes him down with a shoot. Obviously, His Freshness has some anger issues to work out. He tries the ground and pound, but Justin gets the switch and rains down some punches of his own. The True Face posts Jogi and says it didn’t have to be this way. German Suplex! Yikes! Crowd doesn’t like that, but Jogi brought it on himself. Jogi is out at two.
Justin sets Jogi for The Afterparty, but The Fresh One escapes and hits a reverse DDT. He tries to grab an armbar, but Justin makes the ropes, before he can get it locked in. Jogi is cradling his neck at this point. Probably shouldn’t be wrestling, but are you gonna tell him that? Jogi hits a lunging straight right out of nowhere that knocks down Justin, but Jogi can’t capitalize. Justin is on the attack now with leg kicks, just punishing Jogi. Jogi drops to one knee. Shining wizard! Justin is measuring up Jogi now…SKEETBOARD! Justin gets Jogi for the Afterparty, but decides against it, simply dropping Jogi to the mat and making the pin.
WINNER: JUSTIN EVITABLE (4:41- Skeetboard)
The EMTs return to take care of Jogi as Justin walks back to the locker room, shoulders slumped.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH6
Red has assembled the entire roster in one of the conference rooms. He says that we have worked to hard to build up MBE to what it is now to let a bunch of interlopers come in and ruin everything. A wasn’t here when Andy was spilling his blood to put on a classic Last Man Standing Match with A.J. Cirrus. Ravage wasn’t here when Justin Evitable was making a tournament run that will be talked about for years. And Freakfish wasn’t here when The Thrillbillies kicked his ass and won the tag titles. And Promo, well that piece of trash has done nothing but coast on his own inflated, overrated reputation. They aren’t MBE. This is MBE, in this room right here. The old and the new. And they need to stop fighting each other. Right now. He knows Justin had to take care of business, but it never should have come to that. The Wild West mentality has to go out the window. And now they have to watch each other’s back. Look at Andy and Duchess, you think they trust each other? Hell, no. But they are gonna stand together. Red hates Andy’s guts. He’s stood toe to toe with the Gilkinator and got his ass kicked, but there’s no one else he’d want watching his back in that ring. It’s time MBE stands up for itself. Cause no one else will.
That seemed to rally the troops, and Red is the perfect guy to make that kind of speech. Meanwhile in the back of the room, Greenie is counting off, “One potato, two potato, three potato, four. Okay Irishred it is.” Doc looks up and tells Greenie to keep counting. But Doc said four potato. Greenie must have misheard Doc, because he said six potato. Greenie shrugs, and says “five potato, six. Okay, Andrew Gilkison it is.” Doc says keep counting. Greenie thinks this is a terribly unscientific way to pick his next challenger. Doc points out that Greenie must use the same system to pick football teams based on how well he’s been doing this year. And since he is a grand in the hole to Doc, he better keep counting. “Seven potato, eight. The sex robot?” Doc shudders. “Nine Potato, ten. How about CFC?” “Who is that? Nevermind. That’s perfect, then.” CFC v. Doc for the world title next week. What could possibly go wrong?
PbPro is walking. Jesus, Ravage is huge. Obvious, I know. But warrants mentioning.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
It’s main event time, and looking at my watch, we are going long. Andy is out first, to his usual strong ovation. You know, the Justin run was great, but I think we are all waiting for Andy to take the final step and finally win the world title. If the energy he brought to his PPV match with Promo is any indication, he should be there soon. Duchess is out next, and she gets a rousing cheer from the crowd, all in all. Just goes to shows that the First Lady of MBE is also a Teflon princess, when it comes to in-ring shenanigans. Duchess/Doc should be a great match, though. And really she deserves the shot as much as anyone that has stepped throw the doors since they reopened. Red is out last for his team and he has the PbPro Quintuple Crown Title in toe, with the Pacific Rim Title hanging from the crotch of his jeans. Nice touch.
QH7
And here’s PBPRO! The crowd is just thrilled to see them, too. Promo continues his run of cheap heat with a Florida Gators jersey, which he tosses into the crowd, and promptly gets tossed back at him. FF is conversing with A in Japanese, and Ravage just stands there looking mean as ****. I mean, seriously, from all accounts he’s a total bastard anyway, but he does go the extra mile to look the part.
Andy and A start. A gets a takedown and rides Andy on the mat, slapping the Gilkinator upside the head, before adding some crossfaces. Andy gets the better of the next exchange though, and A ends up on the mat in an armbar. They hit the ropes and Andy knocks the Japanese legend to the mat with a shoulder block. He hits the ropes again, A leapfrogs and catches Andy with a dropkick before tagging out to Ravage. Red wants the tag from Andy and gets it. Red walks right up to Ravage and punches him in the face. Ravage smiles an evil ****ing smile and wraps his hand around Red’s neck. Red goes downstairs to break that and hits Ravage with some euro uppercuts and follows with some knee strikes, but the big man just shrugs them off and beheads Red with a clothesline. He steps on Red’s throat as he tags out to Promo, who is more than happy to pick up the pieces. Red finally counters a Death Valley Driver with a DDT and tags out to Duchess who takes Promo down with a headscissors and almost scores an ankle lock, before the former world champ makes the ropes.
Duchess goes for a rana, but Promo blocks it and shoves The First Lady of MBE into the enemy corner where A takes a cheap shot, leaving Duchess open to an avalanche splash. Duchess gets isolated and worked over by PbPro now. Ravage just towers over Duchess, weird visual. She gets dropped a long way down, throat first on the top rope, and A adds a springboard legdrop for a close near fall. A gets a little too cocky, though, and Duchess escapes a backdrop suplex and catches the PbPro legend with a spinning heel kick. She gets cut off by Promo before she can make tag, though. Promo spits on Red for good measure, and that brings the Irish one into the ring. As senior referee Lance Thunder escorts Red back to his corner, Duchess gets the business in the corner. Promo gets a near fall off an exploder suplex, but finds himself on his back after Duchess ducks a lariat and hits a springboard bulldog. HOT TAG ANDY! The Gilkinator goes right after Promo spearing him to the mat and just pounding this **** out of him with hammer fists. Ravage punts Andy off, but eats a low blow from Duchess and a DDT from Red before he can follow up.. A is on the scene now and hits a Yakuza kick on Red. Andy clotheslines A over the top to the outside, and it’s breaking down in Nashville. Just in time for a commercial.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Back to the action and things haven’t settled down much. A replay shows us a Duchess tornado plancha onto A and FF and Andy getting dropped back first across the ring steps by Ravage. Promo and Red are slugging it out in the ring, and Red finally drops Promo with a brutal knee lift. He grabs the mount and starts raining down punches of his own as Promo tries to cover up.
QH8
Red has Promo up on top now and is looking for a superplex, but here’s Ravage. He puts Red on his shoulders and Promo adds a top rope lariat to complete the Doomsday Device. That’s a long fall for Red. Ravage is just taking apart Red, now, driving knees into the sternum of the former extreme champ. A adds a senton as Duchess shouts encouragement from the corner. A works over Red’s ribs some more with kicks and a gut buster. Only gets two. Promo is in now and he breaks out the dreaded ABDOMINAL STRETCH. Red is screaming in pain, but he gets the BIG hiptoss to counter. FF is up on the apron and distracts Lance, and he misses the tag to Andy. Andy is livid and almost plows through Ref Thunder to get to Promo as Red is choked in the corner by A and FF. FF tells A to finish him off and A sets Red for the A+ lock, his full nelson camel clutch.
But Andy has had enough and he dropkicks A off Red, shoves Lance off and starts stomping on the PbPro champ as Promo and Ravage rush the ring, and FF vociferously protests the heinous actions of the Gilkinator. Andy tosses A to the outside and looks to follow with a dive, but gets cut off by the big boot of Ravage. Duchess fires off a dropkick to the big man’s knee, and then another, bringing Ravage down to one knee. Duchess aims for the face this time, finally knocking the monster to the canvas. Duchess goes up for a moonsault, but gets cut off by Promo and shoved to the outside as the First Lady of MBE crashes into the barricade. As Till would say, MY WORD! A is back in the ring now and he and Promo hit a double team spinebuster on Red. Andy breaks up the pinfall, though and he is laying the wood into Promo now. Gilkination DDT! Two count! A ducks a big boot from Andy and hits a bridging backdrop suplex. Red makes the save! CHOKESLAM RAVAGE! Andy is down. It’s just Red now, and ******* that bastard isn’t going down without a fight. He clears Promo from the ring with a flying forearm, but runs into the monster Ravage again. CHOKE….NO! Red escapes. RED PUNTS RAVAGE IN THE GROIN! FF is lecturing Lance on the rules and regulations of wrestling.
Red ducks a leg lariat from A and tosses A onto Promo outside. COLD SHOT FOR RAVAGE! No! The monster powers out at two! Ravage is barely human. Red is looking for a piledriver. Somehow, that seems unlikely. No matter A cuts him off with a Yakuza kick. A BOMB! Red is dropped right on his head by A’s version of the Psycho Driver. A places his foot across Red’s chest for the pin. No! He removes his foot at two on FF’s order. FF wants Red broken. CHOKESLAM! Duchess tries to get in the ring but is kicked out by A. PROMOPLEX! My god, they are trying to end Red’s career. Dr. P is just giddy. Finally, mercifully A makes the cover as Ravage and Promo pose.
WINNER: RAVAGE/A/PROMO (20:52- A->Red: A Whole Mess of hurting)
Promo locks the Fadeout on Red as trash litters the ring. Man, that was a dominating victory for PbPro. They are going to be a force to be reckoned with. FF gives a champagne Supernova to Andy, and A works him over with kicks. Here come the locker room again. PbPro stands its ground and a hyooge brawl erupts. Security follows shortly behind to try and restore some sense of order. Justin Evitable is trying to get to FF but ends up eating a chairshot from Promo. Holy Crap! Ravage just press-slammed the sex robot! That’s insane! ROBOYORI is gonna have a few bolts loose after that. More security comes down and gets the groups separated. And here is Yamada. He has the mic.
Yamada says he has taken the last few hours to think things over. He knows the game Freakfish is trying to play. And yeah he is pissed Yori slept with his other daughter. But he has too much invested in this company to let a bitter over the hill ex-wrestler take the reins from him. He started this company, and he’s gonna stand up and protect it. He will die before he lets that bastard A get his hands on it. And he adds what I can only imagine is a more profanity laced translation into Japanese for A, judging by the legend’s reaction. He will be in Yori’s corner next week. And he still can make matches. And he is going to make one for MBE Evolution right now. Andy Gilkison versus Promo, a rematch. And this time, there won’t be any PbPro interference, cause it’s going to be in a STEEL CAGE! Big pop for that. Promo immediately starts *****ing to FF who tells him to calm down. Andy gives the throat-cutting gesture towards Promo and promises to break him in two. Yamada tells everyone to get the hell out of here and on a plane to Atlanta, cause the show may be over, but this war is just starting.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Not much in the way of wrestling this week, except the main. Big angle stuff that looks good long term, and god FF and Doc are both wonderful bastards. Like to see more actual in-ring stuff, but I am sure that will shakedown as more stuff gets set for Evolution. I like the week to week booking they are doing on TV now, without a tournament to give the shows structure. Hopefully they will start focusing on Doc/Duchess some more, cause I don’t know if that will sell a PPV by itself.
REWIND AWARDS FOR 12/6
MATCH OF THE NIGHT: PbPro v. Red/Andy/Duchess
SPOT OF THE NIGHT: Jock breaks out the Glasgow Smile
LINE OF THE NIGHT: “You actually have a payroll account for someone named Jesus Hobo?” - FF
Nashville, TN
Matt Burke, reporting
Welcome ladies and germs to WNW. Coming off the TREMENDOUS Total Elimination PPV, things are looking up for the company, if not so good for certain people in it. Early buyrate estimates project it a full .15 over Awakenings. Top to bottom good show, anglelicious, but still brought two very, very good matches in the Tag and World title matches. Let’s see how they follow up.
QH1
It’s a cold open as the PbProers make there way down to ringside to vociferous boos. They did manage to squeak out a sell out, but this is not a town used to paying for wrestling tickets, and the south was never a huge territory for MBE. Might be overextending themselves a bit here. You know, the PbProers really need a name, e-mail me, and I’ll throw up the best next week.
FF is on the STICK! And immediately talks circles around half the roster. This is about what is best for MBE. MBE needs people like FF, proven commodities and proven wrestling minds to take the reigns of the business from senile old coots and perverted young coots. BURN~! This isn’t the end of MBE, far from it. This is a grand new beginning. The crowd does not seem to agree. This group reaches across generations of MBE, across rivalries, and across continents to form a perfect group to lead MBE into its new, brighter future. He is sure the boardroom and the locker room will raise a fuss, but soon they will all toe the line and see the light. It’s up to them whether it is going to be the easy way or the hard way.
He hands off the mic to Promo who soaks in some boos before saying that he finally feels welcome in MBE, no matter what the IDIOT FANS have to say. People who understand, recognize, and fuel his desire to be the absolute best. That recognize that he has the air of a champion, that the whole fed should be built around the one man bold and brave enough to lead it into wrestling nirvana. A man called Promo, apparently. Before Promo can enlighten us further, “My Sharona” hits, indicating things are about to get SUPERSEXAY~! Yup, it’s YYJ and he looks positively all business. He’s even wearing a suit. Granted, it’s a shade of green usually only seen on Vegas billboards, but a suit nonetheless.
Yori ain’t alone either, as Yamada and the whole roster is out with him. Except Doc Silver, shock of shocks. Yori gets on the stick and says that he is the man in charge around these parts. He pays the bills, he writes the checks, he crafts the dildos, or something like that. And he is laying down the law. PbPro wants to play in his sandbox, then that sandbox is gonna be filled with lube and dildos and possibly kendo sticks. He hasn’t quite decided yet, but it will be the supersexiest hardcore match MBE has ever seen! Okay, then.
FF is back on the mic, and says Yori is just the kind of person that will run MBE into the ground. Has he even heard of the FCC? The face of a major corporation like PbPro shouldn’t be a convicted sex offender. Alleged convicted sex offender, Yori bandies back. FF says it doesn’t matter, because as of last week, he has no booking powers in MBE anymoe. Yori is aghast. FF asks if he was really stupid enough to think that form Ayako made him sign before he schtupped her was a paternity waver. Yamada gives Yori a look of death. FF is shocked that Yamada didn’t know about that. Yori looks like he is expecting a good thrashing. Anyway, the form gave his share of booking control to a PbPro representative, namely FF. So he can kiss his perverted stipulations goodbye, but since he wants a piece of PbPro and he has a wrestler’s contract, he can meet A next week one on one. A smiles and cracks his knuckles, and Yori looks like he is going to sweat through that suit, which I’ll take a shot in the dark and assume is polyester. FF says it’s about time for MBE to pay the bills, and maybe even show some wrestling. Besides, Yori and Yamada probably have some things to discuss. So we’ll be right back.
I’m not a big fan of talking segments to open the show, but MBE doesn’t do it much, so it seems important, and it did a good job of catching everyone up. Don’t know about the dueling authority figures, but they did a good job of turning Yamada against Yori so this might work. Yori/A could be epically bizarre. There is a ton of backstage bad blood there, so who knows what’ll happen.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH2
Hey, actual wrestling. It’s time for some tag team action as Cool Frank Cutta and Jock McCrunk take on The Thrillbillies. Kind of an unusual pairing after their entertaining debacle at the PPV, but hey MBE needs tag teams, and god knows they aren’t afraid to just throw some dudes together. Jock and CFC already get into it a bit on the apron before the match starts, but CFC tries to calm things down. He starts against Hoss, and it quickly devolved into a slug fest. Well, there was an armbar in there somewhere. Hoss hits a turning powerslam and tags out to Jake who springboards in with a dropkick that knocks CFC clear from the ring. That brings in Jock who gets an amateur takedown and rolls it into a leg bar. Jake makes the ropes quickly. CFC and Jock actually bring the TEAMWORK! With a double team suplex. And Jock goes to work on the back of Jake with a backbreaker and a bow and arrow. Some quick tags in and out keep the pressure on, but the inevitable happens with some MISCOMMUNICATION~! And Jock takes off CFC’s head with a clothesline instead of Jake.
HOT TAG HOSS! and its fisticuffs for all. Jock and Hoss start exchanging elbows, but Hoss drives the Entourage member from the ring with a flurry of right hands. CFC smells blood and jumps Hoss from behind, but Hoss tosses him out onto Jock. Uh-oh. Jock is a little annoyed. Nope, things look okay. Nevermind. Out comes the pimp can, down goes CFC. Hoss and Jake are just looking on, now. CFC with the low blow and he tosses Jock into the barricade. He’s gonna go it alone. That doesn’t go to well as he runs into a double team spinebuster. Kicks out at two, though. He counters a Dixie driver and shoves Hoss into Jake and tries to steal it with a schoolboy. NO! Hoss is out. And here’s Jock!. Low blow! Pimp Slap! Glasgow Smile! Yikes. CFC is bleeding from the mouth now. Jock kicks him a few times before leaving CFC to the billies. Well, this looks like one wacky mismatched tag team that didn’t quite work. Hoss shrugs and makes the cover, and the Billies take this one.
WINNER: THE THRILLBILLIES (8:21 Hoss-> CFC: Glagow Smile-> pinfall)
Well, a nice change from the usual champs drop a fall to set up title match scenario. Don’t know if I’d heel out Jock, but we’ll see how it goes.
Backstage, Biff wants to know why Doc wasn’t out there with the rest of MBE to confront PbPro, seeing as he is the world champ. Doc isn’t much of a rah rah pep rally guy. He prefers to let his actions speak louder than his words. Biff points out that he wouldn’t have had to actually talk, just stand there. Which probably counts as an action. Okay then, Doc wants to lead by example. And that means being a fighting champion and going through the best MBE has to offer. Biff wants to know why he is starting with Juen Lee, then? Well, Doc had to start somewhere. Now Biff wants to know if he is worried about Duchess. Doc says she is just another title defense on the list. He can’t be bothered thinking that far ahead, he has to live in the here and now. He has to take it one day at a time, and god willing, he’ll get some victories. So he’ll be focusing on Juen Lee and not looking ahead to future matches. Biff accuses Doc of just spouting clichés. There is an awkward pause before Doc bursts out laughing. He’s gonna mail in his match against Juen, so why not mail in the interview, too. Hey, he’s the champ. He should get a can or two to make him look good before the next real challenge. And seeing as Duchess hardly counts, it looks like he’s gonna be looking good a whole lot in the near future.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
The Lot arrive outside their dressing room to find a giant package at their door. Mac postulates that perhaps it is the life size statue of Steve MacLean made out of butter that Nate’s sister promised to send them for the Wednesday Bus. I see that the Lot are real company men, picking up the weirdness slack for Yori in his time of crisis. A quick google search shows that Steve MacLean is the striker for the beloved Wednesday. The soccer team, not the hooligan team. The box begins to shake a bit back and forth and Mac practially jumps into Nate’s arms. Mac tells Nate to open it, and the mustachioed hooligan knocks the box over and starts stomping on it, just in case. Hey, it’s Juen Lee! Mac is a little upset that Juen air mailed himself to the arena instead of called them for a ride. He says it better not be C.O.D. I’m sure there is a hilarious backstory here, but Mac’s foremost concern is getting Juen ready for his title match. They drag the prone Juen into their locker room, his door hitting the frame on the way in as Mac calls “fair play,” whatever that means
QH3
Back to in-ring action, as we have a pair of debuting wrestlers, Lumberjack O’Malley and Ace Mason. MBE continues to expand its roster, which is a good sign for the future of the company. And god knows I love wrestling lumberjacks. The wood chips are a nice touch too. Strength versus submissions match-up as Mason tries to keep the big treecutter on the mat, and O’Malley does his best to toss Mason around His gorilla press slam is quite impressive looking. He misses a charge in the corner, though, and Mason takes over, working the back with a Russian Leg sweep and a half crab.
A suplex is countered in a bodyslam by O’Malley, though, and Mason eats a running bulldog for two. Mason escapes another gorilla press, and quickly hits a lungblower. Ouchie. He flips the lumberjack over and applies a deep camel clutch. He calls that the Iciing Gavones, and O’Malley decides to call that a day, as he taps out.
WINNER: ACE MASON (5:37: Icing Gavones)
Backstage, the Biffster is with Cool Frank Cutta, and he is CALLING OUT JOCK MCCRUNK. That’s two straight weeks Jock couldn’t keep his hands to himself. They teach you that **** in nursery school, preach on CFC. If Jock is a man, he will attack CFC to his face next week at WNW. And that’s all the Cutta has to say. He shoves the mic back into Biff’s chest and marches off.
Yori is sitting by the craft’s service table with his Inner Sextum. Apparently they got kicked out of their office by the PbProers and are going to have to pay for all the Sexrobot shaped holes in the wall. Of which I imagine there are quite a few by now. And now Yori is getting hosed at Pinnochle by the Thai Hookers. Not a good week for the Cerebral Cocksassin. And it’s about to get worse as Promo and FF walk by with a clipboard. FF mentions very loudly that the company is wasting tons of money. Look at this, we have a sex robot, ten thai hookers, a hobo, and JUSTIN EVITABLE under contract. Justin gets up in FF’s face and says that he beat the bastard once and if FF has the guts, he’ll step into the ring with him any time. Promo laughs and says Justin should try beating the JV squad before he steps into the ring with the BMOC. FF ignores Justin completely and keeps droning on about the waste in this company. He says he has an idea. If Yori loses next week, the hookers and the hobo have to go find a real job. The sex robot can stay, because Yori will need someone to keep him warm at night after the ass-kicking he’s gonna get. Yori says what does he get if he wins. FF says an ice cream sundae. Yori says IT’S ON! That ice cream sundae will be the best he ever had, because it will TASTE LIKE VICTORY. FF says he was kidding, you moron, you don’t win an ice cream sundae. You win nothing. But you guys should be used to that by now. FF stalks off as Promo laughs a little too hard and follows him.
Man, I could watch two hours of Freakfish just walking around being a dick to whoever he meets backstage every week.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH4
Biff Bentley catches up with Ace Mason for some thoughts on his debut victory in MBE. It was quite gratifying, but he is after one thing here in MBE, and that is the Tag Team Championship. He has been watching the Billies, and he wants their titles. To that end, he has brought in and old friend of his, Fusenshoff. Hoff says that he and Ace will be the next tag team champions of Message Board Entertainment, no matter who stands in their way. They issue an open challenge to any tag team in the back next week to take them on, so they can show the MBE fans what they are capable of.
Speaking of tag teams, some soccer chanting hits on the arena PA. It’s Lot time! The Lot is carrying the still mostly unconscious Juen Lee to ringside. I call BAIT AND SWITCH. I was promised Juen Lee wrestling a bear, where’s my BEAR CONTRA DIMINUTIVE KOREAN? Doc comes out with appropriate fanfare, as Dority and Greenie carry him out on a giant golden throne. Should have borrowed some of Yori’s Thai Hookers to fan him or something. Well, they get about halfway down the ramp before Greenie has to put his end of the throne down. Doc is livid as Greenie says something about his blood pressure. THE CHAMP stomps off to the ring and orders them to get the throne back to the theater rental store before he has to pay a late fee. He steps through the ropes and surveys his opposition, currently being propped up by the ring ropes. Doc sighs, and tells the ref to start the match.
He quickly charges, but finds Juen yanked out of harm’s way by Nate and Doc crashes into the turnbuckles. Doc is a little annoyed and chases after Juen as Nate drags him behind him…into the ring steps. Ooh. Not so good. Doc rolls Juen back into the ring and goes for a cover, but the plucky little hooligan is out at two. Doc hoists the Korean over his head and holds him there for a good twenty seconds before delivering the hanging suplex. DOC SILVER = POWER MONSTER. That only gets two, as well. Doc hits the ropes, but falls victim to blatant cheating as he is tripped up by Nate. Mac urges Juen to capitalize, but Juen just sort of lies there. Doc goes right for the Ace’s Full Stunner, but Juen counters with a hair pull and a knee drop before falling over again. Well, that was a second wind…of sorts.
Doc is annoyed now and hits his superkick as Juen tries to figure out where he is. He covers…but Mac puts Juen’s foot on the rope at two. The crowd is getting deeply into Juen here. The world’s hatred for Doc knows no bounds. Doc goes for a bodyslam. SMALL PACKAGE!. NO! Doc is out. Didn’t see that one coming. Doc stomps Juen down as Nate tries to drag him from the ring. Doc is having none of that, and it’s a JUEN LEE TUG O’ WAR! Nate lets go finally and Juen splats into Doc and lands on top. Doc is out at two! Well, this is a fine first defense for the federation’s most prestigious title. Doc has had enough and after about twenty elbow drops, hits the Ace’s Full Stunner for the duke.
WINNER: DOC SILVER (6:31: Ace’s Full)
Fireworks go off and confetti come down in the arena as Doc does a victory lap with the title at ringside. Awesome. Doc tells the camera that he is your hero, now. They need to do this once a week.
The Lot enter the ring and drag Juen back up the rampway behind them. Poor little hooligan. Maybe we’ll finally get to see him wrestle a bear next week.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH5
It’s time for an interview with The Fresh One. He says Jock has something to say first. Jock says he’ll meet the Cutta any time, any place. And he’ll get a pimp slap for his trouble. You don’t mess with McCrunk, and you don’t mess with the Entourage. Jogi says CFC is a dead man, just like Justin Evitable. It’s nothing personal with Justin. But it ain’t business either. Jogi has been screwed two weeks in a row, and Justin is gonna be his personal punching bag this week, wrong place, wrong time. Simple as that. Jogi has his eyes on the prize, the world title, and whoever stands in his way, is gonna fall. He doesn’t get the next sentence out as a chair flies into view and cracks Jogi. The camera wheels to show the PbProers. Jock takes a swing with his pimp can, but Ravage catches it and cracks it over his knee, while A drops the Crunkmeister with a savate kick. FF grabs the mic from Biff and says Jogi and Jock are going to be the first to learn the hard way that it is best to stay out of PbPro business.. Ravage chokeslams Jock through the craft’s service table as Promo lays the boots into Jogi. A spike piledriver on the concrete puts The Fresh One down as security and about half the roster finally arrives to break it up and PbPro beats a hasty retreat.
A promo package for MBE Evolution airs, live from The Fogleman Arena at Tulane University in New Orleans. Duchess and Doc are featured heavily.
The sounds of Tool hit the soundsystem and The True Face is heading down to ringside. He is all alone this week and does not look too happy. Till speculates that he wanted to get some revenge on Jogi, but not like this. EMTs are working on Jogi right now, so Justin is just coming down to get a countout victory. But the Fresh One’s music hits, and Jogi comes down to ringside, shaking off a bunch of medics that are trying to get him to come backstage. Justin rolls his eyes and shouts at Jogi to get his neck looked at, but The Fresh One doesn’t back down and he charges right at Justin and takes him down with a shoot. Obviously, His Freshness has some anger issues to work out. He tries the ground and pound, but Justin gets the switch and rains down some punches of his own. The True Face posts Jogi and says it didn’t have to be this way. German Suplex! Yikes! Crowd doesn’t like that, but Jogi brought it on himself. Jogi is out at two.
Justin sets Jogi for The Afterparty, but The Fresh One escapes and hits a reverse DDT. He tries to grab an armbar, but Justin makes the ropes, before he can get it locked in. Jogi is cradling his neck at this point. Probably shouldn’t be wrestling, but are you gonna tell him that? Jogi hits a lunging straight right out of nowhere that knocks down Justin, but Jogi can’t capitalize. Justin is on the attack now with leg kicks, just punishing Jogi. Jogi drops to one knee. Shining wizard! Justin is measuring up Jogi now…SKEETBOARD! Justin gets Jogi for the Afterparty, but decides against it, simply dropping Jogi to the mat and making the pin.
WINNER: JUSTIN EVITABLE (4:41- Skeetboard)
The EMTs return to take care of Jogi as Justin walks back to the locker room, shoulders slumped.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
QH6
Red has assembled the entire roster in one of the conference rooms. He says that we have worked to hard to build up MBE to what it is now to let a bunch of interlopers come in and ruin everything. A wasn’t here when Andy was spilling his blood to put on a classic Last Man Standing Match with A.J. Cirrus. Ravage wasn’t here when Justin Evitable was making a tournament run that will be talked about for years. And Freakfish wasn’t here when The Thrillbillies kicked his ass and won the tag titles. And Promo, well that piece of trash has done nothing but coast on his own inflated, overrated reputation. They aren’t MBE. This is MBE, in this room right here. The old and the new. And they need to stop fighting each other. Right now. He knows Justin had to take care of business, but it never should have come to that. The Wild West mentality has to go out the window. And now they have to watch each other’s back. Look at Andy and Duchess, you think they trust each other? Hell, no. But they are gonna stand together. Red hates Andy’s guts. He’s stood toe to toe with the Gilkinator and got his ass kicked, but there’s no one else he’d want watching his back in that ring. It’s time MBE stands up for itself. Cause no one else will.
That seemed to rally the troops, and Red is the perfect guy to make that kind of speech. Meanwhile in the back of the room, Greenie is counting off, “One potato, two potato, three potato, four. Okay Irishred it is.” Doc looks up and tells Greenie to keep counting. But Doc said four potato. Greenie must have misheard Doc, because he said six potato. Greenie shrugs, and says “five potato, six. Okay, Andrew Gilkison it is.” Doc says keep counting. Greenie thinks this is a terribly unscientific way to pick his next challenger. Doc points out that Greenie must use the same system to pick football teams based on how well he’s been doing this year. And since he is a grand in the hole to Doc, he better keep counting. “Seven potato, eight. The sex robot?” Doc shudders. “Nine Potato, ten. How about CFC?” “Who is that? Nevermind. That’s perfect, then.” CFC v. Doc for the world title next week. What could possibly go wrong?
PbPro is walking. Jesus, Ravage is huge. Obvious, I know. But warrants mentioning.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
It’s main event time, and looking at my watch, we are going long. Andy is out first, to his usual strong ovation. You know, the Justin run was great, but I think we are all waiting for Andy to take the final step and finally win the world title. If the energy he brought to his PPV match with Promo is any indication, he should be there soon. Duchess is out next, and she gets a rousing cheer from the crowd, all in all. Just goes to shows that the First Lady of MBE is also a Teflon princess, when it comes to in-ring shenanigans. Duchess/Doc should be a great match, though. And really she deserves the shot as much as anyone that has stepped throw the doors since they reopened. Red is out last for his team and he has the PbPro Quintuple Crown Title in toe, with the Pacific Rim Title hanging from the crotch of his jeans. Nice touch.
QH7
And here’s PBPRO! The crowd is just thrilled to see them, too. Promo continues his run of cheap heat with a Florida Gators jersey, which he tosses into the crowd, and promptly gets tossed back at him. FF is conversing with A in Japanese, and Ravage just stands there looking mean as ****. I mean, seriously, from all accounts he’s a total bastard anyway, but he does go the extra mile to look the part.
Andy and A start. A gets a takedown and rides Andy on the mat, slapping the Gilkinator upside the head, before adding some crossfaces. Andy gets the better of the next exchange though, and A ends up on the mat in an armbar. They hit the ropes and Andy knocks the Japanese legend to the mat with a shoulder block. He hits the ropes again, A leapfrogs and catches Andy with a dropkick before tagging out to Ravage. Red wants the tag from Andy and gets it. Red walks right up to Ravage and punches him in the face. Ravage smiles an evil ****ing smile and wraps his hand around Red’s neck. Red goes downstairs to break that and hits Ravage with some euro uppercuts and follows with some knee strikes, but the big man just shrugs them off and beheads Red with a clothesline. He steps on Red’s throat as he tags out to Promo, who is more than happy to pick up the pieces. Red finally counters a Death Valley Driver with a DDT and tags out to Duchess who takes Promo down with a headscissors and almost scores an ankle lock, before the former world champ makes the ropes.
Duchess goes for a rana, but Promo blocks it and shoves The First Lady of MBE into the enemy corner where A takes a cheap shot, leaving Duchess open to an avalanche splash. Duchess gets isolated and worked over by PbPro now. Ravage just towers over Duchess, weird visual. She gets dropped a long way down, throat first on the top rope, and A adds a springboard legdrop for a close near fall. A gets a little too cocky, though, and Duchess escapes a backdrop suplex and catches the PbPro legend with a spinning heel kick. She gets cut off by Promo before she can make tag, though. Promo spits on Red for good measure, and that brings the Irish one into the ring. As senior referee Lance Thunder escorts Red back to his corner, Duchess gets the business in the corner. Promo gets a near fall off an exploder suplex, but finds himself on his back after Duchess ducks a lariat and hits a springboard bulldog. HOT TAG ANDY! The Gilkinator goes right after Promo spearing him to the mat and just pounding this **** out of him with hammer fists. Ravage punts Andy off, but eats a low blow from Duchess and a DDT from Red before he can follow up.. A is on the scene now and hits a Yakuza kick on Red. Andy clotheslines A over the top to the outside, and it’s breaking down in Nashville. Just in time for a commercial.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Back to the action and things haven’t settled down much. A replay shows us a Duchess tornado plancha onto A and FF and Andy getting dropped back first across the ring steps by Ravage. Promo and Red are slugging it out in the ring, and Red finally drops Promo with a brutal knee lift. He grabs the mount and starts raining down punches of his own as Promo tries to cover up.
QH8
Red has Promo up on top now and is looking for a superplex, but here’s Ravage. He puts Red on his shoulders and Promo adds a top rope lariat to complete the Doomsday Device. That’s a long fall for Red. Ravage is just taking apart Red, now, driving knees into the sternum of the former extreme champ. A adds a senton as Duchess shouts encouragement from the corner. A works over Red’s ribs some more with kicks and a gut buster. Only gets two. Promo is in now and he breaks out the dreaded ABDOMINAL STRETCH. Red is screaming in pain, but he gets the BIG hiptoss to counter. FF is up on the apron and distracts Lance, and he misses the tag to Andy. Andy is livid and almost plows through Ref Thunder to get to Promo as Red is choked in the corner by A and FF. FF tells A to finish him off and A sets Red for the A+ lock, his full nelson camel clutch.
But Andy has had enough and he dropkicks A off Red, shoves Lance off and starts stomping on the PbPro champ as Promo and Ravage rush the ring, and FF vociferously protests the heinous actions of the Gilkinator. Andy tosses A to the outside and looks to follow with a dive, but gets cut off by the big boot of Ravage. Duchess fires off a dropkick to the big man’s knee, and then another, bringing Ravage down to one knee. Duchess aims for the face this time, finally knocking the monster to the canvas. Duchess goes up for a moonsault, but gets cut off by Promo and shoved to the outside as the First Lady of MBE crashes into the barricade. As Till would say, MY WORD! A is back in the ring now and he and Promo hit a double team spinebuster on Red. Andy breaks up the pinfall, though and he is laying the wood into Promo now. Gilkination DDT! Two count! A ducks a big boot from Andy and hits a bridging backdrop suplex. Red makes the save! CHOKESLAM RAVAGE! Andy is down. It’s just Red now, and ******* that bastard isn’t going down without a fight. He clears Promo from the ring with a flying forearm, but runs into the monster Ravage again. CHOKE….NO! Red escapes. RED PUNTS RAVAGE IN THE GROIN! FF is lecturing Lance on the rules and regulations of wrestling.
Red ducks a leg lariat from A and tosses A onto Promo outside. COLD SHOT FOR RAVAGE! No! The monster powers out at two! Ravage is barely human. Red is looking for a piledriver. Somehow, that seems unlikely. No matter A cuts him off with a Yakuza kick. A BOMB! Red is dropped right on his head by A’s version of the Psycho Driver. A places his foot across Red’s chest for the pin. No! He removes his foot at two on FF’s order. FF wants Red broken. CHOKESLAM! Duchess tries to get in the ring but is kicked out by A. PROMOPLEX! My god, they are trying to end Red’s career. Dr. P is just giddy. Finally, mercifully A makes the cover as Ravage and Promo pose.
WINNER: RAVAGE/A/PROMO (20:52- A->Red: A Whole Mess of hurting)
Promo locks the Fadeout on Red as trash litters the ring. Man, that was a dominating victory for PbPro. They are going to be a force to be reckoned with. FF gives a champagne Supernova to Andy, and A works him over with kicks. Here come the locker room again. PbPro stands its ground and a hyooge brawl erupts. Security follows shortly behind to try and restore some sense of order. Justin Evitable is trying to get to FF but ends up eating a chairshot from Promo. Holy Crap! Ravage just press-slammed the sex robot! That’s insane! ROBOYORI is gonna have a few bolts loose after that. More security comes down and gets the groups separated. And here is Yamada. He has the mic.
Yamada says he has taken the last few hours to think things over. He knows the game Freakfish is trying to play. And yeah he is pissed Yori slept with his other daughter. But he has too much invested in this company to let a bitter over the hill ex-wrestler take the reins from him. He started this company, and he’s gonna stand up and protect it. He will die before he lets that bastard A get his hands on it. And he adds what I can only imagine is a more profanity laced translation into Japanese for A, judging by the legend’s reaction. He will be in Yori’s corner next week. And he still can make matches. And he is going to make one for MBE Evolution right now. Andy Gilkison versus Promo, a rematch. And this time, there won’t be any PbPro interference, cause it’s going to be in a STEEL CAGE! Big pop for that. Promo immediately starts *****ing to FF who tells him to calm down. Andy gives the throat-cutting gesture towards Promo and promises to break him in two. Yamada tells everyone to get the hell out of here and on a plane to Atlanta, cause the show may be over, but this war is just starting.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Not much in the way of wrestling this week, except the main. Big angle stuff that looks good long term, and god FF and Doc are both wonderful bastards. Like to see more actual in-ring stuff, but I am sure that will shakedown as more stuff gets set for Evolution. I like the week to week booking they are doing on TV now, without a tournament to give the shows structure. Hopefully they will start focusing on Doc/Duchess some more, cause I don’t know if that will sell a PPV by itself.
REWIND AWARDS FOR 12/6
MATCH OF THE NIGHT: PbPro v. Red/Andy/Duchess
SPOT OF THE NIGHT: Jock breaks out the Glasgow Smile
LINE OF THE NIGHT: “You actually have a payroll account for someone named Jesus Hobo?” - FF