Yori Yakamo jr
League Member
The Wrestling Chronicle's WNW Report
Live from the MBE Arena, 8/30/06
Matt Burke here, bringing you our live recap of Wednesday Night Warriors for the first time in almost three years. The reopening of MBE has been the buzz of the industry for the last month or so, and their PR people have assured me that this first show will live up to the hype. There is no doubt that they have the right people in place to make it work, but in this business anything can happen.
I should mention that I got e-mails and text messages all day from people standing in line waiting to get into the arena. The recurring theme was that it had the atmosphere of a giant party before a rock concert or a sports team returning from a championship. MBE played into this too, erecting a giant projection screen outside the arena, and showing montages of classic matches from the old days. Apparently several MBE superstars actually came out and milled about in the crowd, too. Only the babyfaces, though. Red, especially, was said to be taking every autograph or picture request that came his way. Yamada actually had to come out and corral him for the pre-show meeting. Promo and AJ arrived in a limo, late of course, and flipped off the crowd, who was booing them quite lustily, before slipping in a back entrance.
Early rumors from the arena say no sign of Paco or Freakshow, which isn't exactly shocking, but could be a devastating blow to the first show. You think they would have considered that not particularly slim possibility before booking them in the main event of their first show.
(QH1)
The opening credits are geared a lot more towards the current crop of wrestlers, which is probably a smart move. There are, of course, the classic shots of Spoiler getting hit with the camera by Andy, Hida diving off the cage, and Professor spanking a midget with a paddle. Actually, I bet you could fill an entire credits sequence with Professor spanking midgets. Of course, one very famous face is missing, but we all know what happened there. Most of the footage is of the cast of characters you will see tonight, though. I like that they kept "Mars, Bringer of War" as the WNW theme, too. It gives a very pro sports feel to it, one that you don't get with generic metal song du jour. And you don't have to worry about it feeling dated.
Lots of crowd shots to open, and the building is packed. It sold out in less than twenty minutes, but they managed to open up some more seats along the ramp and in the upper mezzanine, as they have scaled back their sound and lighting set-up. Not great seats or anything, but they had no trouble selling them. MBE still means a lot to the people in the area, plus you had people coming in from far out of town, as MBE doesn't plan to do full-scale touring for the first few months.
Tillrules and Dr. Phantasmo introduce the show. Till is an interesting choice for play-by-play guy. He has always had a great mind for the business, and was one of the early bookers, so he knows how to sell the product. Plus he is a good talker, but good play-by-play requires a very specific skill set. They did have tryouts, a lot of names you would recognize, and a few radio and TV guys, but they decided to stay in-house and felt it was important to give the fans a credible voice they would respect. James Irish would have been great, but that was obviously not an option. Phantasmo was shockingly good at color his last time around, and bringing him back was the smart move. Professor Tremendous was a name bounced around, but Chaz isn't viewed as the most reliable person in the world (which is ironic, considering who they booked in the main) and they want to get away from recreating the feel of the MBE Cup. Plus without Bobby Rodriguez, and his feelings on the "Real MBE World Champion" is common knowledge, the dynamic might not be the same.
We start right in with a match as the crowd goes ballistic at the first few beats of "Highway to Hell." It was probably the right move to start with this match, though it easily could have been the semi-main event. Andy is as over with the MBE faithful as ever, and you have to figure he is one of the guys who will be looked upon to carry the company. He stands at the edge of the stage, soaking in the cheers and waiting for his tag team partner, who gets a similarly large reaction from the crowd. They both walk down to ringside together, and Red looks legitimately choked up. He is living proof, of course, that anyone who sticks around long enough in this sport will eventually become beloved, but you have to feel good for him, as MBE means a ton to him.
The Sheffield Wednesday Lot get a surprising amount of boos for a fairly unknown team, but a lot of that is probably because they are not Andy and Red. They aren't exactly wrestling wizards, but they are a bit of a cult hit in the UK. Don't know how well the gimmick (if you can even call it that) will translate, but it's not like MBE fans don't enjoy watching guys get stomped in the face, as the Lot have a well-deserved reputation for turning every match into a pub brawl.
Red and Andy jump the Lot right away, much to the delight of the audience. Of course, the story going into the match is that Promo and A.J. paid the Lot to injure their two most likely rivals. This was supposed to be a secret, but the Lot, of course, let it slip. And now they are taking it to the barricades. Juen Lee is hiding under the ring while his compatriots get beat around. Yeesh, Marion is not going to make anyone forget Dynamite Kid, but Nate does a nice enough low rent Johnny Saint impression. The match 'settles down' into Nate trying to punish Andy in the ring with various loopy Brit submission holds, but Andy is too strong and is able to power out, while Red and Mac punch the crap out of each other outside the ring. It's always nice to see two men take such pleasure out of their work. Red takes what will no doubt be but his first crazy ass bump of the show, as Marion and Juen Lee work a little old school playground technique in. Juen crawls out from under the ring, and Marion is able to shove Red over his back and Red does a mini Nestea plunge onto the ring steps. That just looks…yeesh. Mac jumps Andy and LET THE DOUBLE TEAM STOMPING COMMENCE. Nice spot as Nate ties Andy up in some sort of rope assisted Romero special; Marion tags himself in and headbutts Andy a few times, and then tags out again. It restarts the five count each time, so that is a nice bit of ring savvy. They seem to be seriously enforcing the tag rope rule and five count, which is a nice touch.
Ick, Red is bleeding from the back of his head. That man is legitimately certifiable, but you knew he would bring it for the first match back in the arena. Tillrules is doing a nice job breaking down the key differences between tag and singles wrestling, just stuff you don't see spelled out in commentary usually. Andy finally turns the tide, as Marion misses a soccer kick on Andy and catches Nate instead. Andy drops Marion with a desperation Gilkination DDT, and BOTH MEN ARE OUT. Andy makes the hot tag and Red is a house afire, he clears the ring and then decides to dive out onto the entire Lot with a no hands plancha over the top. That was unexpected; obviously Shane has been eating his Wheaties. The crowd chants for Red, who is laid out on top of a heap of Brits (and one Korean) as we head to the first commercial.
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(QH2)
Back from commercial we see Marion working over Red on the ground with some vicious short elbows to the back of the head. A replay catches us up on the action. Red bounces off the ropes but is brained in the back of the skull by Juen Lee's giant sack of dirt and stumbles into a Polish (British) Hammer from Marion. Which is about the most complex move you will see from him. Red has quite the crimson neck and back now. The production team isn't pulling back either. Good thing they have a later timeslot. I should mention whoever is in the control truck is doing a good job, minimal cutting, just staying with the brutality. It doesn't look that slick, but it has the aura of a fight. Red almost makes a tag after countering an overly complex neckbreaker attempt from Nate with a DDT. Nate makes the first tag though and Marion cuts Red off. He gives Andy the Zidane treatment for good measure, and the Gilkinator didn't even have to say anything coarse about his mum.
Red gets worked over some more and the ref actually steps in to examine Red and see if he should end the fight. Red has some choice words for the ref, and just starts swinging wildly at both of the Lot. He doesn't get too far that way, though, and just gets clubbed back to the mat. A close nearfall off a very pretty looking backbreaker from Nate. And now Marion breaking out the Garvin Stomp. Awesome. Somehow he makes it work; maybe it's the soccer chanting from all three that accompanies it. If the heel fans ever learn the song (not that you can understand a word any of them say, though it does appear to be English) that could catch on like wildfire. The crowd is way too into that two count. Marion signals that he is going up top for his Sheffield Squash. Obviously Marion didn't account for the time zone difference, as he misses by a mile, as Red rolls out of the way. He makes the tag to Andy as Nate trips over Marion trying to cut him off and Andy just DESTROYS Marion with a clothesline. Andy has looked very crisp tonight. He drops Nate with German Suplex and signals for the Gilkimission. He locks it on, but Marion manages to shove both of them through the ropes and out to the floor, before Nate can tap out. Of course that leaves him with an irate Red who proceeds to just punt him from one corner to the other. Red almost gets DQ'd for punching Marion while he is in the ropes, and the break allows Juen Lee time for a sucker bag of dirt to the back of the head, reopening the cut on the back of Red's skull, while Marion complains about his 'bloody eye' quite loudly to the ref. Nate posts Andy and heads back inside for some double team beatings for the Irish one. The Lot signals for the Bangers and Mash. Red wriggles free, though, and shoves Nate into the ropes, crotching Marion. Nate stumbles back into the waiting arms of Andy who procures the Gilkimission for the quick tapout, much to the delight of the crowd.
WINNER: Andy Gilkison and Irish Red (Andy->Nate: Gilkimission- 15:44)
Red and Andy celebrate out through the crowd. A good way to start the new era in MBE. A strong match with a mix of old and new, and Red bleeding a whole lot. And if you've never seen MBE before, it will keep you on the channel for at least a while longer. The Lot are just the right combo of goofy and violent to become a hit with the crowd given a bit of time.
Backstage we are introduced to the new MBE man on the scene, Biff Bentley. I was unaware people still named their kids Biff, but here Biff is, interviewing Promo and A.J. Cirrus. Promo is unimpressed with Andy and Red. After all it's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game. And they are calling the shots around MBE now. Biff points out that it's supposed to be about the promo, and is promptly ordered to shut his fat meathole by the always gentile A.J. Talk turns to whether or not they paid off the Lot to take out Andy and Red. Promo says they have their last two months of bank statements right here, and you will see there is no unusual activity. And they are talking to their legal team about a slander suit against anyone who suggests they would ever need to hire help to take out Red and Andy. They are similarly confident about Paco and Freakshow, and doubt they will even show up, but if they do, they will get the treatment they should have gotten some years ago. Biff notes that they have yet to be seen in the arena, and A.J. says Biff should look high and low for Show and Paco, and struggles to suppress a chortle. Promo punches him in the arm. AND THE PLOT THICKENS. Promo can't promise that Paco and Show will, heh, show, but he does promise that if they don't they will to come down to the ring anyway, so their ungrateful fans can get a glimpse of their champions. Because they are just that magnanimous. And to commercial we go.
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(QH3)
Back again and Doc Silver is on his way to ringside. Doc may end up being a huge coup for MBE, or it may end up being a train wreck. It's 50/50. Either way, he should keep me in business for a few more years. Cox looks like an extra on the set of Boogie Nights. He doesn't do anything too fancy in the ring, but the opening minutes of the match have him beating the crud out of Doc, much to the delight of the fans. Obviously Doc's reputation precedes him. Yamada must be smiling too, as you know he couldn't have been happy when Doc name-checked every promotion he had set foot in during radio spots hyping this week's match. Doc gets riled up after Cox spanks him, in a friendly way I'm sure, after a clean rope break. Doc gives a yank of the tights and throws Cox to ringside, allowing Dority to work him over while Doc explains to the ref that spanking simply will not be allowed in his matches, it says so in his contract. He threatens to walk out, but changes his mind as Dority rolls Cox's limp body in the ring. Doc lays the wood into Cox for a bit. Starts to spank him, but changes his mind and DDTs him instead for a close two count. Doc continues to work Cox over, but his legendary stamina keeps him kicking out at two, much to Doc's mounting chagrin.
Cox finally turns the tide a few minutes later, reversing a Doc's Aces Full Stunner into an Atomic Drop, follwed by a rocker dropper for the double KO. Doc stumbles to his feet first, and shockingly, has not yet begun to bleed. This might be some kind of record for him. Doc charges into the corner as Cox makes it to his feet, but misses and gets his head slammed ten times into the turnbuckle for good measure, as the crowd counts along. Cox sets Doc for the Insertion Point (is there any wonder Yori hired this guy?), but Dority is up on the apron protesting something or other, and Doc is able to use the distraction to deliver a low blow. He hits the Aces Full and flops over for a 2.9 count. He sets Cox for the Widow's Peak, but the light goes out and loud, thumping techno music begins to play. Doc looks to the rampway, and sends Dority out to stop whoever is going to interfere with his impending debut victory. He's looking in the wrong direction, though, as RoboYori, Yori's robotic sex toy version of himself (yeah, that felt great to type) descends from the ceiling on a zipline and lands behind Doc Silver. Much like regular Yori, rather than use the element of surprise to get the drop on Doc, RoboYori takes this opportunity to do a hip-thrusting version of the Hustle, instead. Doc spins around and punches the robot before realizing what it is. As he clutches his hand in pain, RoboYori removes one of Yori's fine line of dildos from his pants and bops Doc Silver with it as he turns around. The ref, meanwhile, has been lulled to sleep from RoboYori's Nitrous Oxide dispensing chambers on his back, as Till helpfully informs us. Thus, there is no way he could see RoboYori's nefarious deeds.
Of course, the NO also knocked out Michael J. Cox as well, a fact that Yori seems oblivious too as he just continues to do the hustle, until Dan Dority finally figures out what happened and tosses RoboYori from the ring. And much like a turtle with an incredibly large silicone penis, RoboYori is stuck on his back.
"His hip thrusting matrix is just not powerful enough to return him to his feet, despite his valiant efforts."
- Phantasmo breakin' it down for us, while delivering the line of the night.
Dority rolls the woozy Doc on top of Cox and rouses the ref to count the pinfall.
WINNER: Doc Silver (A whole bunch of stuff I am going to pretend never happened- 8:49)
Doc barely has time to celebrate though before ActualYori's music hits and the MBE owner and Smitty come out to massive cheers. It’s Smitty on the mic and she begins to run down Doc Silver pretty good, saying he has been the bane of every promotion he’s ever been in, and yet he won’t shut up about them. She is sure Yamada already regrets hiring him. Silver counters that if Yori or his ladyboy want to come down and kick his ass out of MBE, they can feel free. Smitty says that’s not even Yori, it’s Riki and she tosses the mic at him to prove her point. He misses catching it and it hits him in the face. She picks it up and says his depth perception has been off ever since Silver drilled him in the eye with the YOR-Abbit some months ago. As for Yori, he is in the back passed out on quaaludes, and besides, legal recommended he not ever speak on air, to limit the lawsuit potential. But he’s right, neither she nor Riki will be able to kick his ass out, especially when he has Dority by his side. But she can make his life a living hell. As far as she’s concerned he’ll be wrestling porn stars or midgets, or midget porn stars as long as he is in MBE. And if he wants to quit, fine. He’ll just have to find some other bottom feeding organization and suck from its teet, cause as long as he is in MBE, he’ll be a marked man. At last, there will be some truth to his constant paranoid ranting that everyone in management and the locker room is out to screw with him. Cause they will be, starting with the newest member of Yori’s cabinet, The Sexcretary of Doc Silver’s Education, Michael J. Cox!
(QH 4)
And with that Cox brains Silver with the dildo that was left in the ring. Doc’s tissue thin forehead finally bursts open with that shot. Dority and Cox begin to brawl as Smitty and Riki rush down to join the fight. Riki rolls RoboYori over onto his stomach so the poor thing can finally stand up. However Yamada’s music hits and he comes down the ramp with security primed to break up the fight. He yells at Smitty and her band of miscreants to get to the back before he fires all of them. He barely tolerates their presence in MBE and if they keep this up, he’ll have them all on the slowest barge back to Tokyo. We head to commercial with security escorting everybody to the back as they try to take shots at each other the whole way back.
--
We return to live television with Yamada in the ring soaking in a standing ovation from the fans. Quite a different response than his first visit to the MBE arena. He thanks the fans for keeping the MBE name alive these last few years, and promises that with the help of the wrestlers in the locker room, he will keep the MBE name vital for years to come. He introduces the PbPro contingent, including the new PbPro Quintuple Crown Champion, Ezeki, who are sitting at ringside. We reviewed the Quintuple Crown title match between Ezeki and Ravage in the last Wrestling Chronicle, a great spectacle match that finally put an end to the nearly two year reign of Ravage. It also did the best gate PbPro has had in twice that time. Ezeki has an amazing ring presence, and seeing him and Ravage exchange power moves is quite the sight. Anyway, the mention of PbPro gets a smattering of boos, and Yamada says he understands that many of the fans may not have had fond memories of PbPro's involvement with MBE, they were as responsible for bringing MBE back to the arena as he was.
He talks a bit about the title situation. He says that they will crown new MBE World Tag Team Champions at the first PPV, and the week before, when MBE returns to the arena they will have a one night tag tournament to crown two number one contenders for the tag titles. The two teams will face off at MBE Awakenings for the right to be called World Tag Team Champions. Any member of the roster is eligible for this tournament, and they can enter as a team, or a single. Of course, Yamada reserves the right to match up any single competitors as he sees fit.
As for the World Title, Yamada says Promo can carry the old title around as much as he wants. He is not the MBE World Heavyweight Champion, and he gave up that claim the day he walked out of the company. Promo will get his shot, certainly, but he will have to walk the same difficult path as all the other top contenders. Staring after the first PPV, MBE will hold 'The Race for the Title,' a singles league competition that will test the endurance, ring savvy, and mental toughness of anyone who enters it. Of course, in the end, there can be only one champion, and he will be crowned at Total Elimination 2006 in November.
Also at Total Elimination, MBE will hold the first induction ceremony for the MBE Hall of Fame, which will be hosted inside the arena, in the new wing that is currently under construction. Fans can go online and vote for who they think should be in the first Hall of Fame class. There a lot of deserving candidates, and we can debate the merits until we are blue in the face, but you have to think after some of the problems they've had with the old stars, this will be very political.
Yamada thanks the fans again and says he has taken up enough of their time. MBE is about the wrestlers, not the guys who sign the checks.
(QH5)
We head backstage again as trusty Biff is with former Unified Champion Jogi Fresh. Fresh echoes Yamada's sentiments and says he is looking forward to stepping back into the ring with the best MBE has to offer. He says that even though Duchess and he exchange Christmas cards she shouldn't expect any special treatment, as he has one thing on his mind, MBE gold. He goes on to say that before that happens though, he has unfinished business with A.J. Cirrus. After all, he was the last number one contender to the MBE Unified title, and A.J. walked out with that belt. He calls A.J. a coward, who ducked him then, and is ducking him again now. He says A.J. can't hide behind Promo forever, and the next time he peaks his head out from behind his mother's skirt, His Freshness will be there to knock it off. The malevolently grinning visage of Jogi Fresh takes us into the break.
--
Back on the air as Till hypes up The Thrillbillies. Yamada has said one of his major goals in relaunching MBE was to revitalize tag team wrestling in America. Yamada, of course, started out in a tag team himself debuting as the The Yokosuka Bombers with long time personal and professional rival, A (then Ashahiro Asoko). The Thrillbillies and the Lot are a good start, and the crowning of a tag team champ before a world champ is interesting as well. Time will tell if MBE is to become a hot bed of tag team wrestling, though.
The Thrillbillies plow through the Behemoths pretty quickly. The Behemoths look to still be in about the same wrestling shape, such as that is, as they were when MBE closed. The Thrilbillies overwhelm them with speed early, confusing the massive duo. Some crisp double teams from the Billies get some early near falls on Mammoth, but Mastodon manages to take control of Hoss with a standing belly to belly that threatens to flatten the poor man. The Behemoths advantage is short-lived though, as Hoss avoids an irish whip-aided avalanche splash in the corner from Mastadon and levels Mammoth with the Crimson nose job. He tags out to McCody who clears Mammoth out of the ring with a missile dropkick, and The General Lee follows for the pin.
WINNER: The Thrillbillies (The General Lee-> pinfall- 5:27)
(QH6)
From there we cut to footage that was, as an intertitle helpfully tells us, was shot earlier today. Yori is being followed by a documentary crew, which is true by the way. Frontline has been following him around for the last few weeks for an upcoming episode on the newest generation of porn producers. Seriously. Anyway, they are walking through the parking lot of the MBE Arena when they stumble upon Justin Evitable, who is working on his sitdown strike. He appears to have hired a bunch of hoboes to wear Pro-Justin Evitable signboards, and is parading them through and around the parking lot. Once he spots Yori, he rushes over and introduces himself, before begging for a job in MBE. He says he will put the extreme back in MBE. Yori says that unless his plan involves a donkey, a hooker dressed up like Greta Garbo, and various scuba gear accessories, it's probably not going to be all that extreme. Justin says he won't remove his hob…protesters until he is given a job. Smitty points out that this is an auxiliary parking lot, and no one comes through here anyway. Plus, he's running out of cheap hooch with which to bribe the hoboes. Just then, Rat arrives, freaking the bejeezus out of Yori. He thanks Yori for reopening MBE. Justin points out that Rat came through the parking lot. But Rat says he has been living here for the last three years. Justin is flummoxed. But to demonstrate his extremeness, he sucker punches Rat. Rat bites his forehead and Justin starts screaming like a little girl. He grabs Rat and charges both of them through the windshield of a nearby parked car. The car alarm begins blaring and Justin panics. He runs over to his Yugo, and tries to start it up. Unsuccessfully. Finally he just dives under the backseat, as if no one would have noticed him. Of course, the camera crew is filming all of this. Rat slowly comes to and asks Yori what he was doing in the parking lot, anyway. Yori says 'quaaludes and the camerawoman.' MBE = Family Entertainment.
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Back from commercial and we are ringside for the three-way dance between Duchess, Jogi Fresh and 'El Terrible II' Sergio Pedroza. Jogi and Duchess share a handshake and a hug in the ring, which seems to worry El Terrible. Evidently with good reason too, as Duchess and Fresh spend the first few minutes of the match mercilessly double-teaming the second-generation superstar. Terrible bails out to the floor and encourages Fresh and Duchess to fight amongst each other. So they chain wrestle for a bit, but when Terrible tries to sneak back in, they quickly turn back to their double teams, sending Terrible out to the floor, flustered once again. Lather, rinse, repeat. Obviously Fresh isn't as up on his MBE history as he should be, though, as he turns his back on Duchess to play to the crowd after he and Duchess hit a springboard doomsday device. He is spared the dreaded low blow, as Duchess shoves him through the ropes to the floor, blows him a kiss and tries to steal the pin. Terrible kicks out though, and the match settles down into Fresh and Duchess fighting over who gets to pin Terrible. Fresh seems to be slightly hesitant to unleash his full boxing fury on his former stablemate. A little help from Terrible's second finally turns the tide and he and Duchess form an equally temporary alliance against the larger Fresh that ends as you would have predicted, well, unless you are El Terrible. I'll give you a hint. It ends with Pedroza clutching his groin and calling for his 'madre.' Fresh keeps Duchess from scoring the pinfall, though, breaking it up at the last moment.
(QH7)
Fresh goes on the offensive now against Duchess. He takes control with a freestyle wrestling takedown. He follows up by procuring the mount position and moves quite fluidly to a twisting armbar, but Duchess is close enough to the ropes to force a break. Fresh gets a near fall off a hanging vertical suplex, and signals for the Freshness. He gets Duchess up, but it is The Fresh One who hits the ground, as Duchess lodges her size 6 wrestling boots right in the nether regions, just out of the referee's line of sight. She turns her attention back to Terrible, but some more shenanigans from Sancho Panza distract her long enough for Terrible to get a near fall off a springboard bicycle kick. He looks for his 630 moonsault, but gets shoved off the tope rope by Fresh, still smarting from Duchess's famous low blow a minute or so earlier. Fresh looks to finish Duchess off, but he gets caught with a snap rana roll-up by the first lady of MBE, who was playing possum. He just barely sneaks out of that one. Duchess tries to finish him with a superkick, but Fresh counters with a turning powerslam and looks for the Bixby Stretch to finish. Before he can get it fully applied, though, Terrible dives off the top rope onto Fresh with a high crossbody. A pull of the tights helps Terrible get the three count and his first victory in MBE
WINNER: 'El Terrible II' Sergio Pedroza (Sergio->Fresh: Tights Assisted Cross Body Press- 9:23)
Backstage, the Lot are licking their wounds. Juen Lee enters and Marion asks him for a spot of cash so they can hit up the queue for a snack. Gentleman Nate is a right bit hungry on account of their match. Lee says that all the money is gone now. Marion is shocked and says that Promo and AJ paid them quite a lot of money, though that story quickly changes to they were quite the lucky bastards at the off-track last night when Nate points out that this is being filmed. Lee says they ran up quite the bar tab, plus they decided to commission a giant ice sculpture of themselves standing triumphant over Red and Andy, to commemorate their victory. Marion says it did look pretty good and classed up the place a bit, even though it is a bit of a soggy mess now. I have to admit, the look of pain of Andy's melting face is pretty amusing. Anyway, Marion thinks that should still leave them a couple of quid, right? Lee says that they have just enough money for bus fare to take them to Amherst for the next WNW. Marion suggests that all they need to do is find someone else to beat up for money and they will be all set. Seemingly on cue, Cowboy Jimmy Donovan arrives and asks the lads if they know where he can find any ladies of the night. Marion doesn’t know what the ‘ell he’s talking about. But after some fun with dialects, Lee determines that he is looking for some whores. Obviously, there is some trouble with interpretation, cause Marion thinks he is saying very nasty things about his mum. Or Marion is an idiot. I report, you decide. A brawl breaks out as the Lot lay the wood into Donovan until the passing Thrillbillies intervene to even the odds. Eventually security gets involved and things settle down some.
- A promotional spot for the first new MBE PPV in a year, MBE Awakenings, live September 30th from the Hartford Convention Center, takes us to our last commercial break
--
(QH8)
Back from the last commercial break. It is almost ten of, so I have to imagine they negotiated a bit of overrun time. They do waste no time in bringing out A.J. Cirrus and Promo. Promo's carrying the third incarnation of the MBE World title with him, the boxing style one they used after the UXW merger. We had a bit of a discussion earlier in the office about how bad the reaction for these two would be, and it might be even worse than our worse case scenarios. Tons of fans just turn their back on the pair. A soda bottle hits AJ in the side of the head, and he does not look happy. Promo has to keep him from going into the crowd for a second there. They actually show security dragging the fan in question away. I think that might just encourage more of this, but maybe that is what they want. Security is usually quite relaxed in the arena, cause there are never many problems, but the fans practically knocked down the barricade when AJ came close to the first row. AJ just ripped some kids MBE t-shirt in half for laying a hand on him and he orders security to take him away. I don't think that is a plant either. Anyone who almost starts a fight in the weight room with Jogi Fresh while he is holding thirty-pound dumbbells might have a bit of a temper
They are in the ring now and Promo wants a mic. He says that each and every one of them bought their ticket just to see him and AJ get their ass kicked. So he tells Paco and Show to get their asses out here. Paco's music hits and the place goes ape****, but that quickly, and I mean quickly, turns to boos as a midget dressed like Paco comes out. This crowd is NOT happy. The midget Freakshow follows, and AJ and Promo are in stitches.
Promo says that he didn't come here to beat on a couple of midgets, but he couldn't resist the opportunity to see the look on all of the fans' faces, when they realize that one more time Promo and AJ Cirrus screwed them good. AJ levels Midget Paco with a thrust kick and says that as long as they are here, they might as well give the fans a taste of what would have happened to the real Paco and Freakshow. AJ punts little Paco out of the ring and Promo locks the Fadeout on the Freakshow midget. The fans litter the ring with garbage, and you can see fans being pulled out of the arena by security in all the hard camera shots. Good job by the announce team to not say anything throughout most of the segment, just let the crowd reaction to the talking.
Red's music hits and he and Andy walk out onto the rampway. The crowd is going to be out of breath at this rate. Red has a mic of his own, and says there is no way Promo and AJ are going to ruin the efforts of everyone else on this show. The fans paid their hard earned money to see their asses get kicked, and by golly someone should deliver on that promise. Andy and Red stride down to ringside and Promo and AJ slide out of the ring to meet them. And it's on! Just a wild brawl with all four guys swinging for the fences. It has the feel of four drunk guys who legitimately hate each other finally just getting that last push over the top and taking it outside. The crowd is torn, alternating "Let's Go Andy" and "Let's Go Red" chants. A nice touch. It quickly spills over into the crowd as security tries in vain to keep fans back. Red tosses Promo into the PbPro contingent, and the Underground Icon lands right on Ezeki. Yamada is pissed and he gets in Red's face asking him if he wants to lose his job the very first week. Red is having none of it and piefaces Yamada. Well, the old man ain't gonna stand for that and the rest of the contingent plus security has to get between the two. Yamada tells security to get Red out of here before he screws everything up. Ezeki looks steamed as his attendants try to clean off his suit, now splattered with mustard and some of Red's blood.
Meanwhile Andy presses AJ over his head and pumps him for a few reps, before dropping him face first on top of the rampway. AJ is pleading for his life, but Andy signals for the Andybomb. He holds AJ aloft right over the throngs that have gathered around the sound system.
It's all for naught, though, as Promo sneaks in and clips Andy from behind before he can deliver the coup de grace. The two lay the boots into Andy as the crowd rains down the garbage. I hope New York has lax recycling laws; cause the stage is just littered with trash. Andy gets the receiving end of a vicious spike piledriver on the stage. A man's skull really shouldn't bounce like that. Andy looks completely out of it. AJ adds insult to quite likely injury, following some trash talk by spitting right in Andy's face, and then just starts slapping him around, laughing the entire time. AJ is going to be huge after this performance. He picks up the mic and tells Andy that he is going to throw his ass out of MBE one more time. And he tosses the limp body of Andy off the ramp and through the sound equipment, as the announcer's mics abruptly cut off.
Promo and Andy stand over the crowd, hands raised in a one-finger salute as the MBE logo comes up and we fade to black.
I'll be back next week and every week, recapping WNW for wrestlingnews.com. Until then, this is Matt Burke signing off.
Live from the MBE Arena, 8/30/06
Matt Burke here, bringing you our live recap of Wednesday Night Warriors for the first time in almost three years. The reopening of MBE has been the buzz of the industry for the last month or so, and their PR people have assured me that this first show will live up to the hype. There is no doubt that they have the right people in place to make it work, but in this business anything can happen.
I should mention that I got e-mails and text messages all day from people standing in line waiting to get into the arena. The recurring theme was that it had the atmosphere of a giant party before a rock concert or a sports team returning from a championship. MBE played into this too, erecting a giant projection screen outside the arena, and showing montages of classic matches from the old days. Apparently several MBE superstars actually came out and milled about in the crowd, too. Only the babyfaces, though. Red, especially, was said to be taking every autograph or picture request that came his way. Yamada actually had to come out and corral him for the pre-show meeting. Promo and AJ arrived in a limo, late of course, and flipped off the crowd, who was booing them quite lustily, before slipping in a back entrance.
Early rumors from the arena say no sign of Paco or Freakshow, which isn't exactly shocking, but could be a devastating blow to the first show. You think they would have considered that not particularly slim possibility before booking them in the main event of their first show.
(QH1)
The opening credits are geared a lot more towards the current crop of wrestlers, which is probably a smart move. There are, of course, the classic shots of Spoiler getting hit with the camera by Andy, Hida diving off the cage, and Professor spanking a midget with a paddle. Actually, I bet you could fill an entire credits sequence with Professor spanking midgets. Of course, one very famous face is missing, but we all know what happened there. Most of the footage is of the cast of characters you will see tonight, though. I like that they kept "Mars, Bringer of War" as the WNW theme, too. It gives a very pro sports feel to it, one that you don't get with generic metal song du jour. And you don't have to worry about it feeling dated.
Lots of crowd shots to open, and the building is packed. It sold out in less than twenty minutes, but they managed to open up some more seats along the ramp and in the upper mezzanine, as they have scaled back their sound and lighting set-up. Not great seats or anything, but they had no trouble selling them. MBE still means a lot to the people in the area, plus you had people coming in from far out of town, as MBE doesn't plan to do full-scale touring for the first few months.
Tillrules and Dr. Phantasmo introduce the show. Till is an interesting choice for play-by-play guy. He has always had a great mind for the business, and was one of the early bookers, so he knows how to sell the product. Plus he is a good talker, but good play-by-play requires a very specific skill set. They did have tryouts, a lot of names you would recognize, and a few radio and TV guys, but they decided to stay in-house and felt it was important to give the fans a credible voice they would respect. James Irish would have been great, but that was obviously not an option. Phantasmo was shockingly good at color his last time around, and bringing him back was the smart move. Professor Tremendous was a name bounced around, but Chaz isn't viewed as the most reliable person in the world (which is ironic, considering who they booked in the main) and they want to get away from recreating the feel of the MBE Cup. Plus without Bobby Rodriguez, and his feelings on the "Real MBE World Champion" is common knowledge, the dynamic might not be the same.
We start right in with a match as the crowd goes ballistic at the first few beats of "Highway to Hell." It was probably the right move to start with this match, though it easily could have been the semi-main event. Andy is as over with the MBE faithful as ever, and you have to figure he is one of the guys who will be looked upon to carry the company. He stands at the edge of the stage, soaking in the cheers and waiting for his tag team partner, who gets a similarly large reaction from the crowd. They both walk down to ringside together, and Red looks legitimately choked up. He is living proof, of course, that anyone who sticks around long enough in this sport will eventually become beloved, but you have to feel good for him, as MBE means a ton to him.
The Sheffield Wednesday Lot get a surprising amount of boos for a fairly unknown team, but a lot of that is probably because they are not Andy and Red. They aren't exactly wrestling wizards, but they are a bit of a cult hit in the UK. Don't know how well the gimmick (if you can even call it that) will translate, but it's not like MBE fans don't enjoy watching guys get stomped in the face, as the Lot have a well-deserved reputation for turning every match into a pub brawl.
Red and Andy jump the Lot right away, much to the delight of the audience. Of course, the story going into the match is that Promo and A.J. paid the Lot to injure their two most likely rivals. This was supposed to be a secret, but the Lot, of course, let it slip. And now they are taking it to the barricades. Juen Lee is hiding under the ring while his compatriots get beat around. Yeesh, Marion is not going to make anyone forget Dynamite Kid, but Nate does a nice enough low rent Johnny Saint impression. The match 'settles down' into Nate trying to punish Andy in the ring with various loopy Brit submission holds, but Andy is too strong and is able to power out, while Red and Mac punch the crap out of each other outside the ring. It's always nice to see two men take such pleasure out of their work. Red takes what will no doubt be but his first crazy ass bump of the show, as Marion and Juen Lee work a little old school playground technique in. Juen crawls out from under the ring, and Marion is able to shove Red over his back and Red does a mini Nestea plunge onto the ring steps. That just looks…yeesh. Mac jumps Andy and LET THE DOUBLE TEAM STOMPING COMMENCE. Nice spot as Nate ties Andy up in some sort of rope assisted Romero special; Marion tags himself in and headbutts Andy a few times, and then tags out again. It restarts the five count each time, so that is a nice bit of ring savvy. They seem to be seriously enforcing the tag rope rule and five count, which is a nice touch.
Ick, Red is bleeding from the back of his head. That man is legitimately certifiable, but you knew he would bring it for the first match back in the arena. Tillrules is doing a nice job breaking down the key differences between tag and singles wrestling, just stuff you don't see spelled out in commentary usually. Andy finally turns the tide, as Marion misses a soccer kick on Andy and catches Nate instead. Andy drops Marion with a desperation Gilkination DDT, and BOTH MEN ARE OUT. Andy makes the hot tag and Red is a house afire, he clears the ring and then decides to dive out onto the entire Lot with a no hands plancha over the top. That was unexpected; obviously Shane has been eating his Wheaties. The crowd chants for Red, who is laid out on top of a heap of Brits (and one Korean) as we head to the first commercial.
--
(QH2)
Back from commercial we see Marion working over Red on the ground with some vicious short elbows to the back of the head. A replay catches us up on the action. Red bounces off the ropes but is brained in the back of the skull by Juen Lee's giant sack of dirt and stumbles into a Polish (British) Hammer from Marion. Which is about the most complex move you will see from him. Red has quite the crimson neck and back now. The production team isn't pulling back either. Good thing they have a later timeslot. I should mention whoever is in the control truck is doing a good job, minimal cutting, just staying with the brutality. It doesn't look that slick, but it has the aura of a fight. Red almost makes a tag after countering an overly complex neckbreaker attempt from Nate with a DDT. Nate makes the first tag though and Marion cuts Red off. He gives Andy the Zidane treatment for good measure, and the Gilkinator didn't even have to say anything coarse about his mum.
Red gets worked over some more and the ref actually steps in to examine Red and see if he should end the fight. Red has some choice words for the ref, and just starts swinging wildly at both of the Lot. He doesn't get too far that way, though, and just gets clubbed back to the mat. A close nearfall off a very pretty looking backbreaker from Nate. And now Marion breaking out the Garvin Stomp. Awesome. Somehow he makes it work; maybe it's the soccer chanting from all three that accompanies it. If the heel fans ever learn the song (not that you can understand a word any of them say, though it does appear to be English) that could catch on like wildfire. The crowd is way too into that two count. Marion signals that he is going up top for his Sheffield Squash. Obviously Marion didn't account for the time zone difference, as he misses by a mile, as Red rolls out of the way. He makes the tag to Andy as Nate trips over Marion trying to cut him off and Andy just DESTROYS Marion with a clothesline. Andy has looked very crisp tonight. He drops Nate with German Suplex and signals for the Gilkimission. He locks it on, but Marion manages to shove both of them through the ropes and out to the floor, before Nate can tap out. Of course that leaves him with an irate Red who proceeds to just punt him from one corner to the other. Red almost gets DQ'd for punching Marion while he is in the ropes, and the break allows Juen Lee time for a sucker bag of dirt to the back of the head, reopening the cut on the back of Red's skull, while Marion complains about his 'bloody eye' quite loudly to the ref. Nate posts Andy and heads back inside for some double team beatings for the Irish one. The Lot signals for the Bangers and Mash. Red wriggles free, though, and shoves Nate into the ropes, crotching Marion. Nate stumbles back into the waiting arms of Andy who procures the Gilkimission for the quick tapout, much to the delight of the crowd.
WINNER: Andy Gilkison and Irish Red (Andy->Nate: Gilkimission- 15:44)
Red and Andy celebrate out through the crowd. A good way to start the new era in MBE. A strong match with a mix of old and new, and Red bleeding a whole lot. And if you've never seen MBE before, it will keep you on the channel for at least a while longer. The Lot are just the right combo of goofy and violent to become a hit with the crowd given a bit of time.
Backstage we are introduced to the new MBE man on the scene, Biff Bentley. I was unaware people still named their kids Biff, but here Biff is, interviewing Promo and A.J. Cirrus. Promo is unimpressed with Andy and Red. After all it's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game. And they are calling the shots around MBE now. Biff points out that it's supposed to be about the promo, and is promptly ordered to shut his fat meathole by the always gentile A.J. Talk turns to whether or not they paid off the Lot to take out Andy and Red. Promo says they have their last two months of bank statements right here, and you will see there is no unusual activity. And they are talking to their legal team about a slander suit against anyone who suggests they would ever need to hire help to take out Red and Andy. They are similarly confident about Paco and Freakshow, and doubt they will even show up, but if they do, they will get the treatment they should have gotten some years ago. Biff notes that they have yet to be seen in the arena, and A.J. says Biff should look high and low for Show and Paco, and struggles to suppress a chortle. Promo punches him in the arm. AND THE PLOT THICKENS. Promo can't promise that Paco and Show will, heh, show, but he does promise that if they don't they will to come down to the ring anyway, so their ungrateful fans can get a glimpse of their champions. Because they are just that magnanimous. And to commercial we go.
--
(QH3)
Back again and Doc Silver is on his way to ringside. Doc may end up being a huge coup for MBE, or it may end up being a train wreck. It's 50/50. Either way, he should keep me in business for a few more years. Cox looks like an extra on the set of Boogie Nights. He doesn't do anything too fancy in the ring, but the opening minutes of the match have him beating the crud out of Doc, much to the delight of the fans. Obviously Doc's reputation precedes him. Yamada must be smiling too, as you know he couldn't have been happy when Doc name-checked every promotion he had set foot in during radio spots hyping this week's match. Doc gets riled up after Cox spanks him, in a friendly way I'm sure, after a clean rope break. Doc gives a yank of the tights and throws Cox to ringside, allowing Dority to work him over while Doc explains to the ref that spanking simply will not be allowed in his matches, it says so in his contract. He threatens to walk out, but changes his mind as Dority rolls Cox's limp body in the ring. Doc lays the wood into Cox for a bit. Starts to spank him, but changes his mind and DDTs him instead for a close two count. Doc continues to work Cox over, but his legendary stamina keeps him kicking out at two, much to Doc's mounting chagrin.
Cox finally turns the tide a few minutes later, reversing a Doc's Aces Full Stunner into an Atomic Drop, follwed by a rocker dropper for the double KO. Doc stumbles to his feet first, and shockingly, has not yet begun to bleed. This might be some kind of record for him. Doc charges into the corner as Cox makes it to his feet, but misses and gets his head slammed ten times into the turnbuckle for good measure, as the crowd counts along. Cox sets Doc for the Insertion Point (is there any wonder Yori hired this guy?), but Dority is up on the apron protesting something or other, and Doc is able to use the distraction to deliver a low blow. He hits the Aces Full and flops over for a 2.9 count. He sets Cox for the Widow's Peak, but the light goes out and loud, thumping techno music begins to play. Doc looks to the rampway, and sends Dority out to stop whoever is going to interfere with his impending debut victory. He's looking in the wrong direction, though, as RoboYori, Yori's robotic sex toy version of himself (yeah, that felt great to type) descends from the ceiling on a zipline and lands behind Doc Silver. Much like regular Yori, rather than use the element of surprise to get the drop on Doc, RoboYori takes this opportunity to do a hip-thrusting version of the Hustle, instead. Doc spins around and punches the robot before realizing what it is. As he clutches his hand in pain, RoboYori removes one of Yori's fine line of dildos from his pants and bops Doc Silver with it as he turns around. The ref, meanwhile, has been lulled to sleep from RoboYori's Nitrous Oxide dispensing chambers on his back, as Till helpfully informs us. Thus, there is no way he could see RoboYori's nefarious deeds.
Of course, the NO also knocked out Michael J. Cox as well, a fact that Yori seems oblivious too as he just continues to do the hustle, until Dan Dority finally figures out what happened and tosses RoboYori from the ring. And much like a turtle with an incredibly large silicone penis, RoboYori is stuck on his back.
"His hip thrusting matrix is just not powerful enough to return him to his feet, despite his valiant efforts."
- Phantasmo breakin' it down for us, while delivering the line of the night.
Dority rolls the woozy Doc on top of Cox and rouses the ref to count the pinfall.
WINNER: Doc Silver (A whole bunch of stuff I am going to pretend never happened- 8:49)
Doc barely has time to celebrate though before ActualYori's music hits and the MBE owner and Smitty come out to massive cheers. It’s Smitty on the mic and she begins to run down Doc Silver pretty good, saying he has been the bane of every promotion he’s ever been in, and yet he won’t shut up about them. She is sure Yamada already regrets hiring him. Silver counters that if Yori or his ladyboy want to come down and kick his ass out of MBE, they can feel free. Smitty says that’s not even Yori, it’s Riki and she tosses the mic at him to prove her point. He misses catching it and it hits him in the face. She picks it up and says his depth perception has been off ever since Silver drilled him in the eye with the YOR-Abbit some months ago. As for Yori, he is in the back passed out on quaaludes, and besides, legal recommended he not ever speak on air, to limit the lawsuit potential. But he’s right, neither she nor Riki will be able to kick his ass out, especially when he has Dority by his side. But she can make his life a living hell. As far as she’s concerned he’ll be wrestling porn stars or midgets, or midget porn stars as long as he is in MBE. And if he wants to quit, fine. He’ll just have to find some other bottom feeding organization and suck from its teet, cause as long as he is in MBE, he’ll be a marked man. At last, there will be some truth to his constant paranoid ranting that everyone in management and the locker room is out to screw with him. Cause they will be, starting with the newest member of Yori’s cabinet, The Sexcretary of Doc Silver’s Education, Michael J. Cox!
(QH 4)
And with that Cox brains Silver with the dildo that was left in the ring. Doc’s tissue thin forehead finally bursts open with that shot. Dority and Cox begin to brawl as Smitty and Riki rush down to join the fight. Riki rolls RoboYori over onto his stomach so the poor thing can finally stand up. However Yamada’s music hits and he comes down the ramp with security primed to break up the fight. He yells at Smitty and her band of miscreants to get to the back before he fires all of them. He barely tolerates their presence in MBE and if they keep this up, he’ll have them all on the slowest barge back to Tokyo. We head to commercial with security escorting everybody to the back as they try to take shots at each other the whole way back.
--
We return to live television with Yamada in the ring soaking in a standing ovation from the fans. Quite a different response than his first visit to the MBE arena. He thanks the fans for keeping the MBE name alive these last few years, and promises that with the help of the wrestlers in the locker room, he will keep the MBE name vital for years to come. He introduces the PbPro contingent, including the new PbPro Quintuple Crown Champion, Ezeki, who are sitting at ringside. We reviewed the Quintuple Crown title match between Ezeki and Ravage in the last Wrestling Chronicle, a great spectacle match that finally put an end to the nearly two year reign of Ravage. It also did the best gate PbPro has had in twice that time. Ezeki has an amazing ring presence, and seeing him and Ravage exchange power moves is quite the sight. Anyway, the mention of PbPro gets a smattering of boos, and Yamada says he understands that many of the fans may not have had fond memories of PbPro's involvement with MBE, they were as responsible for bringing MBE back to the arena as he was.
He talks a bit about the title situation. He says that they will crown new MBE World Tag Team Champions at the first PPV, and the week before, when MBE returns to the arena they will have a one night tag tournament to crown two number one contenders for the tag titles. The two teams will face off at MBE Awakenings for the right to be called World Tag Team Champions. Any member of the roster is eligible for this tournament, and they can enter as a team, or a single. Of course, Yamada reserves the right to match up any single competitors as he sees fit.
As for the World Title, Yamada says Promo can carry the old title around as much as he wants. He is not the MBE World Heavyweight Champion, and he gave up that claim the day he walked out of the company. Promo will get his shot, certainly, but he will have to walk the same difficult path as all the other top contenders. Staring after the first PPV, MBE will hold 'The Race for the Title,' a singles league competition that will test the endurance, ring savvy, and mental toughness of anyone who enters it. Of course, in the end, there can be only one champion, and he will be crowned at Total Elimination 2006 in November.
Also at Total Elimination, MBE will hold the first induction ceremony for the MBE Hall of Fame, which will be hosted inside the arena, in the new wing that is currently under construction. Fans can go online and vote for who they think should be in the first Hall of Fame class. There a lot of deserving candidates, and we can debate the merits until we are blue in the face, but you have to think after some of the problems they've had with the old stars, this will be very political.
Yamada thanks the fans again and says he has taken up enough of their time. MBE is about the wrestlers, not the guys who sign the checks.
(QH5)
We head backstage again as trusty Biff is with former Unified Champion Jogi Fresh. Fresh echoes Yamada's sentiments and says he is looking forward to stepping back into the ring with the best MBE has to offer. He says that even though Duchess and he exchange Christmas cards she shouldn't expect any special treatment, as he has one thing on his mind, MBE gold. He goes on to say that before that happens though, he has unfinished business with A.J. Cirrus. After all, he was the last number one contender to the MBE Unified title, and A.J. walked out with that belt. He calls A.J. a coward, who ducked him then, and is ducking him again now. He says A.J. can't hide behind Promo forever, and the next time he peaks his head out from behind his mother's skirt, His Freshness will be there to knock it off. The malevolently grinning visage of Jogi Fresh takes us into the break.
--
Back on the air as Till hypes up The Thrillbillies. Yamada has said one of his major goals in relaunching MBE was to revitalize tag team wrestling in America. Yamada, of course, started out in a tag team himself debuting as the The Yokosuka Bombers with long time personal and professional rival, A (then Ashahiro Asoko). The Thrillbillies and the Lot are a good start, and the crowning of a tag team champ before a world champ is interesting as well. Time will tell if MBE is to become a hot bed of tag team wrestling, though.
The Thrillbillies plow through the Behemoths pretty quickly. The Behemoths look to still be in about the same wrestling shape, such as that is, as they were when MBE closed. The Thrilbillies overwhelm them with speed early, confusing the massive duo. Some crisp double teams from the Billies get some early near falls on Mammoth, but Mastodon manages to take control of Hoss with a standing belly to belly that threatens to flatten the poor man. The Behemoths advantage is short-lived though, as Hoss avoids an irish whip-aided avalanche splash in the corner from Mastadon and levels Mammoth with the Crimson nose job. He tags out to McCody who clears Mammoth out of the ring with a missile dropkick, and The General Lee follows for the pin.
WINNER: The Thrillbillies (The General Lee-> pinfall- 5:27)
(QH6)
From there we cut to footage that was, as an intertitle helpfully tells us, was shot earlier today. Yori is being followed by a documentary crew, which is true by the way. Frontline has been following him around for the last few weeks for an upcoming episode on the newest generation of porn producers. Seriously. Anyway, they are walking through the parking lot of the MBE Arena when they stumble upon Justin Evitable, who is working on his sitdown strike. He appears to have hired a bunch of hoboes to wear Pro-Justin Evitable signboards, and is parading them through and around the parking lot. Once he spots Yori, he rushes over and introduces himself, before begging for a job in MBE. He says he will put the extreme back in MBE. Yori says that unless his plan involves a donkey, a hooker dressed up like Greta Garbo, and various scuba gear accessories, it's probably not going to be all that extreme. Justin says he won't remove his hob…protesters until he is given a job. Smitty points out that this is an auxiliary parking lot, and no one comes through here anyway. Plus, he's running out of cheap hooch with which to bribe the hoboes. Just then, Rat arrives, freaking the bejeezus out of Yori. He thanks Yori for reopening MBE. Justin points out that Rat came through the parking lot. But Rat says he has been living here for the last three years. Justin is flummoxed. But to demonstrate his extremeness, he sucker punches Rat. Rat bites his forehead and Justin starts screaming like a little girl. He grabs Rat and charges both of them through the windshield of a nearby parked car. The car alarm begins blaring and Justin panics. He runs over to his Yugo, and tries to start it up. Unsuccessfully. Finally he just dives under the backseat, as if no one would have noticed him. Of course, the camera crew is filming all of this. Rat slowly comes to and asks Yori what he was doing in the parking lot, anyway. Yori says 'quaaludes and the camerawoman.' MBE = Family Entertainment.
--
Back from commercial and we are ringside for the three-way dance between Duchess, Jogi Fresh and 'El Terrible II' Sergio Pedroza. Jogi and Duchess share a handshake and a hug in the ring, which seems to worry El Terrible. Evidently with good reason too, as Duchess and Fresh spend the first few minutes of the match mercilessly double-teaming the second-generation superstar. Terrible bails out to the floor and encourages Fresh and Duchess to fight amongst each other. So they chain wrestle for a bit, but when Terrible tries to sneak back in, they quickly turn back to their double teams, sending Terrible out to the floor, flustered once again. Lather, rinse, repeat. Obviously Fresh isn't as up on his MBE history as he should be, though, as he turns his back on Duchess to play to the crowd after he and Duchess hit a springboard doomsday device. He is spared the dreaded low blow, as Duchess shoves him through the ropes to the floor, blows him a kiss and tries to steal the pin. Terrible kicks out though, and the match settles down into Fresh and Duchess fighting over who gets to pin Terrible. Fresh seems to be slightly hesitant to unleash his full boxing fury on his former stablemate. A little help from Terrible's second finally turns the tide and he and Duchess form an equally temporary alliance against the larger Fresh that ends as you would have predicted, well, unless you are El Terrible. I'll give you a hint. It ends with Pedroza clutching his groin and calling for his 'madre.' Fresh keeps Duchess from scoring the pinfall, though, breaking it up at the last moment.
(QH7)
Fresh goes on the offensive now against Duchess. He takes control with a freestyle wrestling takedown. He follows up by procuring the mount position and moves quite fluidly to a twisting armbar, but Duchess is close enough to the ropes to force a break. Fresh gets a near fall off a hanging vertical suplex, and signals for the Freshness. He gets Duchess up, but it is The Fresh One who hits the ground, as Duchess lodges her size 6 wrestling boots right in the nether regions, just out of the referee's line of sight. She turns her attention back to Terrible, but some more shenanigans from Sancho Panza distract her long enough for Terrible to get a near fall off a springboard bicycle kick. He looks for his 630 moonsault, but gets shoved off the tope rope by Fresh, still smarting from Duchess's famous low blow a minute or so earlier. Fresh looks to finish Duchess off, but he gets caught with a snap rana roll-up by the first lady of MBE, who was playing possum. He just barely sneaks out of that one. Duchess tries to finish him with a superkick, but Fresh counters with a turning powerslam and looks for the Bixby Stretch to finish. Before he can get it fully applied, though, Terrible dives off the top rope onto Fresh with a high crossbody. A pull of the tights helps Terrible get the three count and his first victory in MBE
WINNER: 'El Terrible II' Sergio Pedroza (Sergio->Fresh: Tights Assisted Cross Body Press- 9:23)
Backstage, the Lot are licking their wounds. Juen Lee enters and Marion asks him for a spot of cash so they can hit up the queue for a snack. Gentleman Nate is a right bit hungry on account of their match. Lee says that all the money is gone now. Marion is shocked and says that Promo and AJ paid them quite a lot of money, though that story quickly changes to they were quite the lucky bastards at the off-track last night when Nate points out that this is being filmed. Lee says they ran up quite the bar tab, plus they decided to commission a giant ice sculpture of themselves standing triumphant over Red and Andy, to commemorate their victory. Marion says it did look pretty good and classed up the place a bit, even though it is a bit of a soggy mess now. I have to admit, the look of pain of Andy's melting face is pretty amusing. Anyway, Marion thinks that should still leave them a couple of quid, right? Lee says that they have just enough money for bus fare to take them to Amherst for the next WNW. Marion suggests that all they need to do is find someone else to beat up for money and they will be all set. Seemingly on cue, Cowboy Jimmy Donovan arrives and asks the lads if they know where he can find any ladies of the night. Marion doesn’t know what the ‘ell he’s talking about. But after some fun with dialects, Lee determines that he is looking for some whores. Obviously, there is some trouble with interpretation, cause Marion thinks he is saying very nasty things about his mum. Or Marion is an idiot. I report, you decide. A brawl breaks out as the Lot lay the wood into Donovan until the passing Thrillbillies intervene to even the odds. Eventually security gets involved and things settle down some.
- A promotional spot for the first new MBE PPV in a year, MBE Awakenings, live September 30th from the Hartford Convention Center, takes us to our last commercial break
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(QH8)
Back from the last commercial break. It is almost ten of, so I have to imagine they negotiated a bit of overrun time. They do waste no time in bringing out A.J. Cirrus and Promo. Promo's carrying the third incarnation of the MBE World title with him, the boxing style one they used after the UXW merger. We had a bit of a discussion earlier in the office about how bad the reaction for these two would be, and it might be even worse than our worse case scenarios. Tons of fans just turn their back on the pair. A soda bottle hits AJ in the side of the head, and he does not look happy. Promo has to keep him from going into the crowd for a second there. They actually show security dragging the fan in question away. I think that might just encourage more of this, but maybe that is what they want. Security is usually quite relaxed in the arena, cause there are never many problems, but the fans practically knocked down the barricade when AJ came close to the first row. AJ just ripped some kids MBE t-shirt in half for laying a hand on him and he orders security to take him away. I don't think that is a plant either. Anyone who almost starts a fight in the weight room with Jogi Fresh while he is holding thirty-pound dumbbells might have a bit of a temper
They are in the ring now and Promo wants a mic. He says that each and every one of them bought their ticket just to see him and AJ get their ass kicked. So he tells Paco and Show to get their asses out here. Paco's music hits and the place goes ape****, but that quickly, and I mean quickly, turns to boos as a midget dressed like Paco comes out. This crowd is NOT happy. The midget Freakshow follows, and AJ and Promo are in stitches.
Promo says that he didn't come here to beat on a couple of midgets, but he couldn't resist the opportunity to see the look on all of the fans' faces, when they realize that one more time Promo and AJ Cirrus screwed them good. AJ levels Midget Paco with a thrust kick and says that as long as they are here, they might as well give the fans a taste of what would have happened to the real Paco and Freakshow. AJ punts little Paco out of the ring and Promo locks the Fadeout on the Freakshow midget. The fans litter the ring with garbage, and you can see fans being pulled out of the arena by security in all the hard camera shots. Good job by the announce team to not say anything throughout most of the segment, just let the crowd reaction to the talking.
Red's music hits and he and Andy walk out onto the rampway. The crowd is going to be out of breath at this rate. Red has a mic of his own, and says there is no way Promo and AJ are going to ruin the efforts of everyone else on this show. The fans paid their hard earned money to see their asses get kicked, and by golly someone should deliver on that promise. Andy and Red stride down to ringside and Promo and AJ slide out of the ring to meet them. And it's on! Just a wild brawl with all four guys swinging for the fences. It has the feel of four drunk guys who legitimately hate each other finally just getting that last push over the top and taking it outside. The crowd is torn, alternating "Let's Go Andy" and "Let's Go Red" chants. A nice touch. It quickly spills over into the crowd as security tries in vain to keep fans back. Red tosses Promo into the PbPro contingent, and the Underground Icon lands right on Ezeki. Yamada is pissed and he gets in Red's face asking him if he wants to lose his job the very first week. Red is having none of it and piefaces Yamada. Well, the old man ain't gonna stand for that and the rest of the contingent plus security has to get between the two. Yamada tells security to get Red out of here before he screws everything up. Ezeki looks steamed as his attendants try to clean off his suit, now splattered with mustard and some of Red's blood.
Meanwhile Andy presses AJ over his head and pumps him for a few reps, before dropping him face first on top of the rampway. AJ is pleading for his life, but Andy signals for the Andybomb. He holds AJ aloft right over the throngs that have gathered around the sound system.
It's all for naught, though, as Promo sneaks in and clips Andy from behind before he can deliver the coup de grace. The two lay the boots into Andy as the crowd rains down the garbage. I hope New York has lax recycling laws; cause the stage is just littered with trash. Andy gets the receiving end of a vicious spike piledriver on the stage. A man's skull really shouldn't bounce like that. Andy looks completely out of it. AJ adds insult to quite likely injury, following some trash talk by spitting right in Andy's face, and then just starts slapping him around, laughing the entire time. AJ is going to be huge after this performance. He picks up the mic and tells Andy that he is going to throw his ass out of MBE one more time. And he tosses the limp body of Andy off the ramp and through the sound equipment, as the announcer's mics abruptly cut off.
Promo and Andy stand over the crowd, hands raised in a one-finger salute as the MBE logo comes up and we fade to black.
I'll be back next week and every week, recapping WNW for wrestlingnews.com. Until then, this is Matt Burke signing off.