The TEAM Invitational Tournament Preview Show

[TH]

[Screen: a shot of a two-tiered trophy with a statuette of a wrestler on top. Cue up: Metallica "Battery." Jess Chapel voicing-over.]

JC V/O: The Chad Merritt Trophy... originally designed to be the Most Valuable Wrestler award for TEAM. But today, its purpose is for something different.

[Flash cut to Adam Benjamin delivering the Shining Wizard countering out of a superplex on Karl Brown and then back to the trophy.]

JC V/O: Today, it is designated the ultimate prize for the TEAM Invitational Tournament.

[Flash cut to Andrew Gilkison and Hida Yakamo chain wrestling then back to the trophy.]

JC V/O: Thirty-two men will enter.

[Flash cut to Beau Michaels and Cameron Cruise grappling, then James Irish and Ken Cloverleaf, then Victor Molotov and Promo, then Beast, then Trevor Hawke, then back to the trophy.]

JC V/O: But only one will emerge.

[Flash cut to Dan Ryan holding up the MBE Cup, then back to the trophy.]

JC V/O: Emerge as the first ever holder of the Merritt Trophy!

[Extreme close up to the trophy into a dissolve into rapid fire action of all 32 superstars as "Battery" shifts into HIGH GEAR RAWK \m/. After the first chorus ends, the sound lowers a bit and a logo for the TEAM Invitational Tournament Preview Show comes on the screen. The logo dissolves off the screen and the darkened studio brightens up to show Tom Holzerman, Steve Murray, Jericoholic Anonymous and Squiggy Jackson seated ala NFL Sunday Countdown. The camera zooms in closer to Holzerman and the show begins.]

TH: Hello everbody and welcome to our TEAM Invitational Tournament Preview Show! Today we will break down all four regions and offer our insights on who to watch out for in this tournament. I'm joined today by my collegue Steve Murray, current CSWA Greensboro Champion Jericoholic Anonymous and TEAM studio analyst Squiggy Jackson, whom I think likes this gig more than his previous one.

SJ: Hey, don't knock Roderick now. He might come back to bug me.

TH: Hehe, well, we have security in place to make sure that doesn't happen. Anyway, we have an information packed show lined up for you today, as we will break down the entire field for you, region by region, and offer all our predictions about who we think is going to make an impact in the tournament. First though, let's go back to the huge announcement that was made in that opening segment, that the Chad Merritt Trophy will be awarded to the winner of the tournament. How huge an announcement is that, if it's huge at all? Steve, your thoughts?

SM: Well Tom, I think we all know that Chad Merritt is one of the founding fathers of this circuit, and whatever implications winning that trophy have related to the actual TEAM league should it ever start, I think it's a high honor.

SJ: I disagree though. Merritt is under a federal investigation for fraud, has killed midgets, hell, he's even cut off someone's arm with a lightsaber.

SM: That was a fantasy sequence. Gregg Gethard still has both arms intact.

SJ: Well, my point stands. I actually think that it takes away from the prestige of the tournament to have his name attached to it.

TH: Fair point, Squiggy. JA, what are your thoughts?

JA: Well, I don't think it has a whole lot of bearing either way unless when TEAM finally starts, the guy who wins comes back to defend his trophy. Given Jess' very public struggles to recruit stars for TEAM, it could be huge if someone, like say Beastie Boy or Larry Tax, who hasn't already signed up for TEAM, wins this thing and has incentive to sign on with the full league, well it could be huge.

TH: All good points. Now we must take our first commercial break, but when we come back, we'll talk to Jess Chapen and Iron Duke, who are calling the action in the City of Brotherly Love and we'll break down the Philadelphia region.

[Fade to a shot of Billy Penn on top of City Hall and cue up The Mars Volta, "L'Via L'Viaquez" as we roll into a Toyota commercial, featuring the almost sickeningly perky Rachel McAdams.]

 

[TH]

bumpage, mofos

 

[TH]

[The screen lights back up to a shot of the Wachovia Center with "L'Via L'Viaquez" still playing. The music dies down and the screen dissolves back to the studio, right on Holzerman.]

TH: Alright, welcome back to our preview special, and now we're going to be highlighting the Philadelphia regional in our brackets.

[The full bracket appears on screen and zooms into the Philadelphia regional.]

TH V/O: Alright, we have Hida Yakamo taking on Saint in that first matchup. The winner will go on to face the winner of the IrishRed/Timmy Windham match which has a lot of people talking. Then there's Karl "The Dragon" Brown, a major player in Empire Pro Wrestling, battling Trevor Hawke, who's reputed to have the best legdrop in the business.

JA V/O: Well, I'll bet there's a certain Hulkster who'll debate that.

TH V/O: Well, he is pretty geriatric now, so his point may not hold up. And that winner will battle the winner of the Sensational Steven Shane/Steve Johnson affair.

[Cut back to the studio.]

TH: And here to discuss that bracket with us is Jess Chapel and The Iron Duke, who are live from a feed at the Philadelphia DoubleTree Hotel. Jess, Duke, great to have you on the show.

[Go to a split screen of Holzerman and the studio and Chapel and the Duke, in the hotel green room.]

JC: Great to be finally having this thing get off the ground.

TH: Indeed. Anyway, let's get down to the nitty-gritty here. We just went through all the matches, which one appeals to you the most here.

JC: Well for me, it has to be IrishRed and Timmy Windham. Two guys who are so rough and tumble, it's like a match made in heaven. You aren't going to see a whole lotta chain wrestling, you're not gonna see a lot of tope con hilos or springboard twisting shooting star presses, but you will see two brawlers, two certifiable madmen, just ripping each other apart. A blue collar matchup for a blue collar city. These two guys will leave it all in the ring, and it's a shame one of them has to go home.

TH: Duke, how 'bout you?

ID: Don't be bloody daft, Tom. It's definitely Karl Brown and Trevor Hawke. I have been a huge booster for Karl ever since his days in MCW. Talk about someone who does England proud. I look forward to calling any match of his.

SM: Alright, how do you think the crowd is going to play into the match? Philadelphia crowds are notoriously raucous and sometimes unconventional. Do you think it'll play into the outcomes of the matches any?

JC: Well, to tell you the truth, there aren't really a whole lot of "Philadelphia favorites" in this match. I think the crowd might play a factor in the Red/Windham match if only because it seems Red is always cheered in Philly a bit harder. I think he might have been a mortal lock had this match taken place in a smaller venue like the ECW Arena, but I still expect that Red might have the homecourt advantage here, so to speak.

JA: What about Hida Whackamole? He was given the unofficial one seed for this bracket despite only wrestling two matches in the last three years. Of all the guys in this tournament, do you think he's the most ripe for an upset?

ID: Rubbish you filthy wanker, complete and utter rubbish. Hida Yakamo is one of the five best wrestlers in this sport, and no matter how long a layoff, it's immaterial because he keeps himself in tip-top shape. In fact, I'll be bloody knockered if he doesn't come out of his region as Philadelphia's Final Four representative.

SJ: Who do you think could surprise a few folks out there? Outside of the big names, is there anyone going that you think could pull off a few upsets?

JC: Well, I think the only upset that you might see would be IrishRed over Hida Yakamo in round two should that match happen. Other than that, I really don't see a whole lot going on, but hey, in this business, you never say never.

ID: Blagh, I still think you're all drastically and criminally underrating the Asian Wonder.

TH: Alright, final question, who's each of your picks to win this regional?

ID: Hida Yakamo, hands down.

JC: I'm going to go with Sensational Steven Shane. He's got a lot to prove, especially after leaving A1E without ever capturing the World Championship.

TH: Alright, thanks you two, and have a good time calling those matches.

[Cut back to a full shot of the studio.]

TH: Alright guys, what are your thoughts on the Philly regional?

JA: Well, I think a lot of what Jess and Duke were saying was pretty accurate, although I think this Trevor Hawke kid might turn a few heads. Who knows.

SJ: Well, I'm with Duke in that Hida Yakamo should be the odds on favorite here, despite him only wrestling in two matches since his last match in MBE proper. You just can't deny talent.

SM: But who's to say that IrishRed, Timmy Windham or Steven Shane don't have that talent?

SJ: I'm not saying they don't, but I think Hida's got the most. You don't argue with World Championship reigns.

JA: That's true, but I also don't think you can discount the fact that there might be three future FW/A1 circuit World Champions in this mix in Shane, Red and Brown.

TH: Alright, that's enough of that. We're going to go on another commercial break, but when we come back, St. Louis regional discussion.

[Cut to a shot of the St. Louis Arch and cue up Soundgarden "Jesus Christ Pose." Cut to a commercial where the Burger King creeps out America yet again.]

 

[TH]

[We're back to the show with a shot of the Savvis Center in St. Louis and "Jesus Christ Pose" still playing. Music killed and cut back to the studio with Holzerman and the others.]

TH: Alright, welcome back to the TEAM Invitational Preview show. Let's get to the St. Louis regional.

[The full bracket appears on screen and zooms into the St. Louis regional.]

TH V/O: Alright, first thing's first, the last holder of the GXW World Championship, Boogie Smallz, takes on a rookie who was among TEAM's first signees, WildChild. Then we have a former UXW star in Victor Molotov, coming back from a major back injury, taking on The Mighty Impala. The winners of those two matches will face off in the second round. Then we go to former A1E World Heavyweight Champion Ken Cloverleaf taking on another rookie in Joe Average. That winner will face teh winner of the match between Beast, a former A1E Cyber and EPW World Champion, and Alcaeus, the massive superstar from AWC.

[Cut back to the studio.]

TH: Alright, we're going to discuss this region, but first, very few superstars in the world of wrestling have had a year as controversial as Ken Cloverleaf has had this year. He entered the year as A1E World Champion, but left the company in surprising fashion and has his hands in a few other projects, including the business of running a fed in UCW. As TEAM field reporter Kendra Jane Lawerence reports, no matter what happens, Cloverleaf will never lose his trademark swagger.

[Cut to a shot of Ken Cloverleaf, cue up Rage Against the Machine, "The Wind Below."]

KJL V/O: There are few stars in this industry like him

[Cut to Cloverleaf with James Irish in the Texas Cloverleaf.]

KJL V/O: He's brash...

[Cut to Cloverleaf with an A1E mic in his hand and a smug look on his face.]

KJL V/O: ...tough...

[Cut to Torment hitting Cloverleaf with Purgatory, (Mark Mero's TKO) and then Cloverleaf kicking out.]

KJL V/O: ...dirty...

[Cut to Cloverleaf nailing Housefly with the A1E World Heavyweight Championship.]

KJL V/O: ...accomplished...

[Cut to Cloverleaf and Steven Shane holding up the A1E Tag Team Championships, and then cut to Cloverleaf alone walking to the ring with the A1E World Heavyweight Championship strapped securely around his waist.]

KJL V/O: ...and controversial. Several people in this business have the ego to match Ken Cloverleaf, but not many people have his resumé. Still though, the self-proclaimed Perfect, Outstanding Superstar made the whole world forget about what he's done in the ring when he unceremoniously walked out of A1E after their flagship pay-per-view.

[Cut to Cloverleaf in the green room, close up.]

KC: I proved that I am without a shadow of a doubt, the greatest professional wrestler in the entire world, and they were lucky to have a world-class caliber athlete like Ken Cloverleaf on their roster.

KJL V/O: And it's because of that self-perception of greatness that Cloverleaf felt he was disrespected by Nathan Houston and the A1E front offices.

KC: After I lost the championship to Housefly, they NEEDED to keep that championship off me because they KNEW that I would've held it for twice as long as my first reign, if I would've won it back, and NOBODY would've been able to beat me. Did you ever see Ken Cloverleaf get his rematch for the A1E World Heavyweight Championship? No you didn't! Instead, I had to face James freaking Irish at the next pay per view, and the only match that I did get with Fly was because I went down to the ring, and mugged him after one of his matches! And they still didn't want the belt on me because they sent that bastard Steven Shane to interrrupt the match! I accomplished everything that I needed to accomplished, and I proved to the world that I was the greatest!

KJL V/O: It was definitely true that Cloverleaf didn't get a rematch, even though it's standard practice to do so. Why was this the case though? While Cloverleaf feels it was disrespect, some people see it differently.

[Cut to a shot of Mike Hyata, A1E backstage interviewer.]

MH: Honestly, I think it wasn't so much as they didn't feel Cloverleaf didn't deserve a shot, but that it was so many other people stepped up and staked their claim. Jericoholic Anonymous [cut to a shot of JA] went out and just plowed through the tournament with ease. Richard Farnswirth [cut to a shot of Farns] also made a huge splash. That also doesn't take into account personal wars that Fly had at the time with Anarchy, Inc. that he needed to take care of.

KJL V/O: Still, Cloverleaf is undeterred in his thoughts that he is the best.

KC: I mean look at me, I dominated the tag team division, easily won the A1E World Heavyweight Championship, and held it for the second longest reign in the entire freaking company. And look at the people I defeated over there, names like Big Dog, Beast, Housefly, The Spoiler, Freakfish, Gladiator, Lindsay Troy, Torment, Steven Shane, Cross...the list goes on and on....we could be here all day naming people that I defeated but you would run out of tape. I think my record, and title reign both speaks for itself.

KJL: So what do you think you'll bring to the TEAM Invitational Tournament?

KC: TEAM needs a star....plain and simple, and when you think of building any up, and coming promotion around one superstar, the only name that comes to mind in the wrestling world is Ken Cloverleaf. What else would I bring?

KJL V/O: And while TEAM the promotion has already signed Hornet, Joey Melton and The Spoiler and the TEAM Invitational Tournament has Dan Ryan, Hida Yakamo and Beast, Cloverleaf believes that he is the brightest star out there. But it's not only him. Other people agree with him.

[Cut to Mike Neely, Empire Pro color commentator.]

MN: This tournament would be nothing without Ken Cloverleaf. Nothing. What, you think Big Loafy is going to sell tickets? Or a bunch of MBE guys that no one outside of their cult following cares about. This is the real deal. He's the greatest A1E Champion ever. He's the next big thing in EPW. Mark my words.

KJL V/O: Either way, Ken Cloverleaf looks to clean up and add to his already imposing legacy here in the world of professional wrestling.

KC: I'm the greatest professional wrestler that ever stepped inside a ring...plain and simple. I can't make it any easier than that for your idiots. There is not a single wrestler out there who has had the kind of dominance over A1E or the A1E World Heavyweight Championship as I have. None!

[Kill the music and cut back to the studio.]

TH: Alright, thanks Kendra Jane for that report. Now, first things first guys, what do you think about Ken Cloverleaf?

JA: Well Tom, I really can't say I blame him for leaving A1E, seeing that I was once in the position he was. So I'll just leave it at that. About his chances in the tournament, I really think he has a decent shot to make it to the Final Four, but he's just been put in a BRUTAL region. Beast? Boogie? Molotov Cocktail? Impala? Hell, even his first round matchup isn't a cakewalk. Average Joe might be a rookie, but he's got training from a former PTC Global Champion. That's nothing to turn your nose at.

SM: That's true, but Cloverleaf also has had a stranglehold on the A1E World Championship up until Vengeance, really. He's got talent, and he's not afraid to cheat. Some people use that as a black mark against him, but if you can cheat your behind off and not get caught, that's a very, very strong asset to have.

TH: Alright, let's move onto some other guys in this region, mainly Beast. The run this guy's had in both A1E and EPW has been nothing short of godlike over the last year or so. Think he can carry over his momentum into this tournament?

SJ: I absolutely think he can and will, Tom. No wrestler has been dominant like Beast has been. No one. Just look to his mammoth title reigns, with the World in EPW and the Survivor in A1E.

JA: Yeah, he did a great job elevating the Survivor Title, but I think Lindsay Troy showed the entire world how to beat Beast at Russian Roulette. I think now people will be less hesitant to pull of the TRICKERY~!

TH: Alright, great insight from everyone here, and we have to take another commercial break. When we come return, the Calgary regional.

[Cut to a shot of the Hart Family Dungeon and cue up Rush "One Little Victory." Cut to the baseball steroid milk commercial that Bud Selig doesn't want you to see!]

 

[TH]

[Back on the screen is a shot of the Saddledome with "One Little Victory" still playing. The music dies down and the screen dissolves back to the studio.]

TH: Alright, and welcome back to the TEAM Invitational Tournament Preview show. I'm Tom Holzerman, and now we're going to look at the Calgary regional.

[The full bracket appears on screen and zooms into the Calgary regional.]

TH V/O: First in the queue, we have the Five-Star Athlete WildStar taking on rookie Logan Caine. The winner of that match will take on the winner of this match, a battle of two men who know each other very well, former EPW Intercontinental Champion Cameron Cruise and the King of the Club Kids, Beau Michaels. The only UXW Champion and former MBE Champion Promo battles NEW's new star Mr. Entertainment, and the winner of that match will meet either former NEW Champion Larry Tact or former NthWA Intercontinental Champion Phenomenal Frankie Scott.

[Cut back to the studio.]

TH: We'll discuss this region in detail, but first, we have a visit from Zany Zeke, who has his own unique take on the Calgary region.

[Cut to a ridiculously decorated set with a marquee that says "Zany Zeke's Take" written in block letters in motley colors. Zany Zeke is dressed in a t-shirt illustrated on the front like it's a tuxedo, jeans, big sunglasses and rainbow wristbands.]

ZZ: [in "zany" clownish voice] Well hello there wrestling fans and welcome to Zany Zeke's Take! Today I'm gonna go buck wild on the Calgary region of the TEAM Invitational Tournament!

[The video wall behind Zeke shows Cameron Cruise and Beau Michaels.]

ZZ: Is it just me, or is looooove in the air? Now we all know that Cameron Cruise and Beau Michaels used to be romantically linked, but there was a fallout. Oh no! What can they do to reconcile? Well, I think Beau has a strategy! Scented oils, aromatherapeutic candles, a bottle of vintage wine... and BAM! the romance is back! And I'll even bet Beau will let Cammy pin him too, if you know what I mean.

[Video wall changes to show Mr. Entertainment.]

ZZ: And then we got Mr. Entertainment, whoowee! Is he here to wrestle or to sing lounge, because that's really entertainment. I'd pay a gazillion bucks just to hear him sing "Copacabana" or maybe do a tap dance.

[Video wall changes to show Promo and the Power Rangers in a split screen.]

ZZ: But who do I think is gonna win this regional?

[Cue up Power Rangers theme song.]

ZZ: Mighty Morphin' Power Promo! How can he not win? He's got the power of the PROMOZORD! backing him! Plus run-ins from the Green and Black Rangers, and he'll probably get to the googily with the Pink Ranger afterwards! Whoa daddy! Back to you in the studio!

[Cut back to the studio to Holzerman and the gang.]

TH: Well that was... interesting.

JA: I was wondering when he was gonna break out the snakes in a can.

SM: Heh.

TH: Anyway, Calgary regional guys, some people have said that this was the most shallow region in the tournament. What do you think?

JA: They couldn't be any wronger. I think they see Calgary without a hot current name, and they balk at it, but really, if the layoffs don't effect WildStar, Promo or Tact, they're as good as any top three in any other region.

SJ: Are you kidding me? You were ragging on Hida for his layoff earlier.

JA: I was, but I also never denied that Mr. Whackamole didn't have the talent to compete.

SJ: Well, regardless, I think you're wrong. Calgary is the weakest bracket, and I will tell you why. The biggest star in this bracket has never held a World Championship. Larry Tact's World Titles have come in regional feds. Promo's World Championship came in a bingo hall and a dying MBE. Whoever put this region together must not like Canada.

SM: Hey, let's not discount Promo or Tact here, or even WildStar. Sure, this might be the weakest bracket, I agree with that, but it's not like this bracket is a bracket of dregs. I mean, no one thought Promo would have beaten Paco the Wetback for that MBE Championship, and let's not forget that in the MBE Cup, he holds a duke over Maggot, a man who many people consider the best Champion in MBE's A1Network era.

JA: That is very true. Promo's a tough customer, you can't discount him.

TH: What about sleepers? If this is the weak bracket, could this be the bracket where one of the non-favorites can break out?

SJ: Absolutely. For one, I think the winner of Cruise/Michaels III has a really good shot of making it to Portland.

JA: I would agree with that actually.

SJ: And then Mr. Entertainment and Frankie Scott are both candidates for upsets here.

JA: I think so too, but let's not go overboard. I don't think that all of them will get upsets. I do think at least one may go down.

TH: Alright, we have one more region to go, and we'll get to that after this word from our sponsors.

[Cut to a shot of CS Towers and cue up Saxon "Strong Arm of the Law." Cut to the worst commercial ever... Taco Bell's Steak Nachos Bellgrande.]

 

[TH]

[Back to the show, it's a shot of the CSWA Auditorium, "Strong Arm of the Law" still playing. The music dies and we get another shot of the studio and crew.]

TH: Alright, welcome back to the TEAM Invitational Tournament Preview show, and we're up to our last bracket.

SM: Woohoo!

TH: Hehe, quiet you.

[The full bracket appears on screen and zooms into the Greensboro regional.]

TH V/O: Alright, and here we go. A man who feels much at home in Greensboro, the former CSWA Champion and the winner of the MBE Cup, Dan Ryan, will take on a man who rivals Ryan in size, the former Champion of several PTC feds, "The Prophet" John Adams. The winner of that match will take on the winner of the affair between current EUWC star Rocko Daymon and a top contender for the EPW Television Title to be decided at Black Dawn, "Yours Truly" Adam Benjamin.

SM V/O: He's also a Ryan employee.

TH V/O: That is true. Very true. On the other side of that bracket, we have MBE Icon and current A1E Cyber Champion Andy Gilkison taking on Shiek Nasty, and current A1E Triple Star Champion James Irish battling one of EPW's hottest rookie talents, The Sergeant. The winners of those matches will face in the second round.

[Cut back to the studio.]

TH: And for this region, we will stay in the studio and do a little roleplaying for ourselves.

JA: How... edgy.

TH: Heh, well each one of our panelists will take on two of the guys in the bracket and tell us how they can win this bracket and how they can be beaten. Steve, we'll start with you and who's your first roleplay as?

SM: Well, I am none other than James Irish, and I'll tell you how I can win. I will win this bracket with my high impact moves, both on the ground and in the air. I will disarm my opponents by pretending not to take them seriously, but once they get in my zone, I'll show them why I've been a Champion everywhere I went. Now, if you get in my head and shake my confidence, it'll be a domino effect and it might be catastrophic, but I don't see that happening.

TH: Alright Squiggy, you're up.

SJ: Okay, my name is "The Prophet" John Adams. I'm big, I'm mean, and I actually have some technical skills. Everyone thinks that I'm first round cannon fodder for Dan Ryan, but here's how I'm going to surprise everyone. I'm not going to let Dan Ryan drop me on my head, and I'm going to use my weight to go toe to toe with the big man and take him out. After Ryan, it'll be smooth sailing because I have at least a fifty pound advantage over everyone else in the region. Of course, if you take my vertical base out, then it might be trouble. The bigger you are, the harder you fall, but then again, you can't take my legs out after I've crushed your back now, can you?

TH: Jericoholic.

JA: Hello everybody, I am Adam Benjamin. I am pretty much the best technical wrestler in this region, and that's how I'm going to win. Attack body parts, wear down my opponents' energy. Submission holds, joint locks, concussive blows to the head to set up my Shining Wizard. Of course, I tend to lose focus at times and sometimes I get a little overconfident, but who can blame me? I'm Big Daddy English!

TH: Back to you Steve.

SM: This time, I am Andrew Gilkison. Don't pay attention to Benjamin, because EYE'm the best technician in this field. I just don't need to remind you a million times in my interview segments, because I let my actions in the ring speak for me. Right now, there might not be anyone hotter in this tournament. I've beaten Spoiler, Hida Yakamo, Dan Ryan and Steven Shane in the last six months. I can be beaten though, if I don't get the job done early or in the first try, I can get frustrated, but I don't think I'll need much time to dispatch whoever gets in my way.

TH: Squiggy.

SJ: This time, me llamo The Sergeant. I've been battle tested in the United States Marine Corps, so there's no doubting my toughness or my passion. I'm a scrappy rookie, and more often than not, those are the most dangerous ones to look out for, especially in early rounds. Now, with my lack of experience, I may make a lot of rookie mistakes, but don't be fooled. You're looking at the Rookie of the Year here.

TH: JA.

JA: I'm mean, I'm lean and I'm an Ego Busting Fighting Machine. Dan Ryan's the name, squishing puny humans is my game. What more can be said about me than already has? I'm hyooooge, I have probably the most deadly arsenal of moves in this entire bracket, and I have been owning every company I've stepped into. Unbeaten in NFW. MBE Cup in tow. In the thick of the UNIFIED Title chase. Most likely the first UCW Champion. No one can touch me... that is unless I get a little too arrogant and leave myself open. Then maybe you can. But I doubt it. I am the odds-on favorite to win this whole thing.

TH: Alright guys, that was a very good, rousing round of roleplay.

JA: That's what I excel at.

SM: Yeah, that and pouring liquids over Michael Cole's head.

JA: True dat.

TH: Alright, one last commercial break and we'll be back with our picks.

[Cut to a shot of the Rose Garden, cue up Slayer "Raining Blood," cut to the Geico caveman commercial.]

 

[TH]

Bumpbumpbump

 

[TH]

[Back to the show, we see a screen of Madison Square Garden, "Raining Blood" still playing. Cut back to the studio.]

TH: Alright, welcome back to the TEAM Invitational Tournament Preview show, and what would a tournament be without office pools. All four of us have filled them out, we're gonna let you guys know who we think is going to win this shindig. First let's go to Squiggy Jackson. Give us your Final Four and your Merritt Trophy winner.

SJ: Well, some regions it was hard, some regions, not so hard, but here is my Final Four. In Philadelphia, I'm going to go with Hida Yakamo. I think he's too good and too much for everyone else in that region, even Steven Shane. Calgary, I'm going to go with Beau Michaels. I think he can capitalize on the weak field. In Greensboro, I'm going to pick Dan Ryan, no-brainer. Most dominant wrestler in the world today. St. Louis, I think I'm going to go with another upset special and take The Mighty Impala. I think he's going to break out here.

TH: Interesting picks, very interesting picks, who do you have winning?

SJ: Dan Ryan, in an instant classic in the final over Hida Yakamo.

TH: Alright, JA, your turn.

JA: Well, in my hometown regional, I like a few guys, but the guy I like the most is IrishRed, because it's a blue collar region, and he's a blue collar worker. In Calgary, I'm going with my main man Promo. He's got a chip on his shoulder, and winning that region will make people stand up and take notice. Greensboro, it's a lot harder than you'd think. I had to agonize over this one, but in the end... I had to go with Ryan, but not without a fight from my boy James Irish. It was probably the single most agonizing pick I had to make. As for St. Louis, Beastie Boy all the way. I don't think it's that close, and he's just hot right now. Too hot for Cloverleaf or Boogie or any of the upset specials.

TH: Your winner out of those?

JA: This is going to surprise you. I really think Red is going to pull it off.

SJ: You're nuts. Totally nuts, I don't even think he gets by Muppet Kid.

JA: Hear me out, hear me out. Red's got a LOT to prove here. The MBE Cup just saw him come so close, but he's got that hunger. And he's beaten Beast before, and that's who I think he's going to face.

TH: Ballsy pick JA, VERY ballsy pick. Any such testicular fortitude from you, Steve?

SM: Nah, I think this comes down very predictably. Philly, Hida Yakamo. Like Squiggy said, he's much too good not to get out of here. Calgary, I'm going with Larry Tact, who after his layoff will be a little fresher than the guys who've gone through the grind. Greensboro, I'm actually going with the upset special here. James Irish, a guy who's been fantastically underrated in A1E and MBE his whole career, and someone who, let's not forget here, has had Dan Ryan's number in the past. In St. Louis, Ken Cloverleaf takes it. That is a brutal region, a very brutal region, but I think he's too crafty and too good not to come out in a tournament setting.

TH: And your winner?

SM: I really like Hida Yakamo to win over Ken Cloverleaf. I just think that this is Hida's tourney to take.

TH: Alright, and now for my picks, in Philly, I like Steven Shane, and I think if we're talking guys with something to prove, who better than Shane, who wants to show the world that he is World Championship material? In Calgary, Five-Star all the way, WildStar is gonna take it in the land of technical mastery. Greensboro, Dan Ryan and I don't think it's even close, and St. Louis we'll see Beast. I like Dan Ryan over WildStar in the final. So there you have it, our picks to win, and you can see on the screen, we've also included Jess, the Duke, Zeke and Kendra Jane's picks as well.

[Graphic appears superimposed over the studio panel:

PICKS PHI CAL GRB STL WINNER
Holzerman Shane WildStar Ryan Beast Ryan
Murray Yakamo Tact Irish Cloverleaf Yakamo
JA IrishRed Promo Ryan Beast IrishRed
Jackson Yakamo Michaels Ryan Impala Ryan
Chapel Shane Michaels Ryan Beast Beast
Duke Yakamo WildStar Benjamin Cloverleaf Yakamo
Zeke Windham Michaels Gilkison Molotov Michaels
Lawerence Yakamo Promo Ryan Beast Ryan

Cut back to the studio.]

TH: Alright, that's it for us. Make sure you tune into the TEAM Invitational Tournament on ESEN and ESEN Season Pass to catch all matches in their entirety. For Jericoholic Anonymous, Squiggy Jackson and Steve Murray, good night.

[Fade to black.]