The Sham Man

[EZieba]

(The scene opens up to 'Good God' Kevin Powers going over a leaflet showing the matches for the next On Time show hosted by CSWA.)

KP: What the ... Shamon? For all the stuff I've been through in the CSWA I thought it couldn't get any lower. Now I have to face some third-rate Michael Jackson wanna-be rip-off artist?

Ah well. They could've stuck me with GUNS ... talk about low.

But if that's what management wants then that's what management is gonna get. I might not have the penthouse suite in this federation anymore so I guess I'll have to start way back down in the basement and make my climb one more time. And if that involves beating the living hell out of the one gloved self-love machine ... then so be it.

That's right kids. One more time you get to see the man, the myth, the lushing legend hit the ring one more time in ALL of his fame and glory. The Ayatollah of Rum and Cola. The man that gives ALL the ladies Powers Envy and scoops'em up, two by two, on the Lushwagon just so they can take that ride one more time on the BLT ... the BIG ... Lush Top! The Double G KP will entertain one more time, PLR-less mind you, against the likes of the one that calls himself ... Shamon.

MAN COME ON! How am I supposed to hype myself against a freak like this? A one hundred and eighty pounds, and that's soaking gheri curl wet, blonde haired bimbo who best wrestling move is grabbing his crotch and moonwalking from one side of the ring to another?

You know what Shamon? You know what I'm gonna do for you? Do you know what I'm going to do for these fans? I'm gonna do you, everyone, and myself a favor in that ring and that's to slap the Jackson out of you. It's bad enough we have to see the real deal talk his way out of child molestation charges, hanging babies out of windows, and those dreadful home videos which I like to call 'Sex, Lies, and Videotape', but to have a glorified clone to face in the ring? OH HELL NO!

I'm just gonna make your pain end quickly not only for you, but also for the poor people that have to hear your damn entrance song. After that then I'm gonna start my move back up. I'll step over you and anyone else that tries to get in my way and I won't give two squirts of ... nnaaa I'll keep that one to myself.

(Powers looks at the flyer again.)

KP: And the main event has Cross in it? Now I am going to be sick ...

(f2B)

 

[NCross]

(Powers looks at the flyer again.)

KP: And the main event has Cross in it? Now I am going to be sick ...

(f2B)

NC: It's ok, Powers. I feel for ya. If I was upstaged by an 18 year old PHENOM like myself, I'd want to puke also. I mean, here you are, a former US champion, the man that humbled Eli Flair with some of the greatest promos in the history of the CSWA during one of the greatest feuds in the history of the CSWA. And you are facing... Shamon? For...
...

Why exactly are you facing him again? MAN, you have fallen pretty far! Well, I'll see you in the back after your mighty contest against Shamon. You'll know it's me... I'll be the one with his name in lights, the star on the door, and who will be leading the Crossovers to the popcorn stand during your 'match of the ages'. Have fun, big K... I know I am.

 

[EZieba]

KP: Nate Cross walks. Nate Cross talks, but he obviously don't know when to keep his trap shut when he should. Check it out child prodigy. You got your little claim to fame and that's cool. Hopefully you can run with it and not turn back. Then again I’m talking about you ... the leader of the Crossdressers so there ain't obviously much to talk about.

And just think, in a little amount of time, if you actually win, you could hold the very same title that GUNS once held. All the fame ... all the glory ... all the prestige ... GUNS and the Crosshairs. You guys should make a tag team and go for those tag titles. You know ... the ones I held for a year with two different people.

Besides, if I know the Muffin Man, I would highly suggest you pay attention to him cause if ya don't ... you'll get knocked out and none of your Crossovers can ever put you together again. But don't pay me no mind cause I don't know what's going on right? You just to that door with your name on it and take your Crosswalkers with you, grab your mop, and clean up that mess you made on the floor when you found out you got a main event for the first time in your life.

How proud you must be ... (sniff) I know I am!

Yeah right. Now go do my dishes.