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The Press Conference

Yori Yakamo jr

League Member
Joined
Jun 4, 2005
Messages
161
Points
0
Age
39
Location
Nutmeg State
(Flashbulbs flicker as the owner and Chief Erotic Officer of Message Board Entertainment ascends to the podium. At his side are his transsexual executive consultant Smitty, his robot henchman ROBOYORI and of course, Jesus Hobo.)

YORI: All right I'll take your questions.

....

YORI: Yes, I am sober right now.

...

No, those rumors of my stint in rehab after MBE got kicked off the airwaves were greatly exaggerated, except for that part about my sleeping with a Hilton sister. But we didn't meet in rehab. Her name is Mindy Hilton and she tends bar down at Chili's by the arena.

SMITTY: If I may interject, does anyone have any WRESTLING RELATED QUESTIONS?

....

SMITTY: WRESTLING RELATED QUESTIONS!

YORI: Nobody harmed the goat, I don't care what PETA says, the robot was just confused.

...

YORI: Yes, we will be resuming live events shortly. We have signed a TV deal with ESEN to air regular live events and our old syndicated studio show, Saturday Supernova. We feel that their high broadcast standards will allow un to fully flesh out our project.

...

YORI: No, pun was not intended. What pun?

...

YORI: Oh, flesh out...heh heh... right.

(SMITTY shoots Yori a dirty look.)

No, no, I mean, that's horrible, and not intentional.

...

YORI: Rumors of friction between myself and Doc Silver are overstated. Doc and I get along fine. He thinks I am an oversexed idiot, and I think he is an over the hill backstabbing locker room cancer and primadonna. But he is still our world champion as long as he can defend and retain the title. Also, as far as I know, he did not wager the belt on the Jackson/Liddell fight, or call it a "goat semen stained worthless piece of tin" as some of you erroneously reported. Mr. Burke I am looking at you.

...

YORI: PbPro no longer has any interest in the company, fiduciary or otherwise. Myself and a small group of investors bought out their share. That will lead to a smaller operating budget, but we hope to retain as much talent as possible. We will be running all our shows out of the newly remodled MBE Arena. We are already expecting a sellout for our first event.

...

YORI: Not as such, no. We will be discontinuing Wednesday Night Warriors for the time being and broadcasting live event cards for TV. The frequency will be diminshed, but we will have less structured airtime requirements and more creative freedom.

...

YORI: Yes, Till and Doctor Phantasmo have been retained as our commentary team. They are both important parts of the MBE family. And for my money, the best commentary team in the game.

...

YORI: Yes, I will continue to be active in NFW as a wrestler, and no, I don't see it as a conflict of interest. MBE and NFW are not in direct competition, and Craig Miles was instrumental in getting us on ESEN. I don't imagine we will have any direct working relationship, but I can't say if we will be sharing talent or not until I get a better grip on our new roster.

...

YORI: Yes, we have been actively recruiting new wrestlers, and many names you would know have longstanding and open-ended invitations to join up.

...

YORI: I imagine our first card will go live in the next few weeks. Everything on the corporate and administrative end is ready to go.

...

YORI: Hardly, the moving of our administrative offices from the A1 building and into the arena had been planned for a while. We have nothing but good things to say about our former landlords. It was just time for some new scenery.

...

YORI: Yes, Doc Silver will be defending the world title on our first show. No, I won't tell you against who. The tag title situation is up in the air, and the PbPro title is not officially recognized by MBE. Justin isn't happy about it, but we will make it up to him.

...

YORI: Title shot? Nah, he'll probably settle for some pot and a handjob from some strippers.

...

YORI: Yes, Jeffrey Roberts has been retained, I expect him to be a major factor in our new era. He is actually nothing but professional...most of the time. But really, I would be a hypocrite if I criticized that, now wouldn't I?

...

YORI: Really, Burke? That is shocking that Promo would go and tell you that he was begged to stick around MBE. Just shocking. The little pissant is on the roster, yes. Apparently that is all I am legally able to say at this time.

(SMITTY whispers something to YORI.)

YORI: And apparently I now have to retract calling him a little pissant. One more question.

...

YORI: White silk bikini briefs with a black bullseye on the crotch. And you can leave your phone number with my administrative assistant before you leave.
 

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