TBirdSCIL
League Member
Please keep all RP for this match in this folder...
The Cannonball Kidd vs. "Lost Cause" Chris O'Neill
- Thread starter TBirdSCIL
- Start date
GARTHIsTheLaw
League Member
Where'd it go?
(Cueup: "Lost Cause" by Scapegoat Wax)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: Finally...thanks to the kind people at Great Lakes Championship Wrestling...I have been given another chance to spread my message to the many, many poor souls who have yet to learn the benefits of my lifestyle I lead. I have looked at the GLCW roster, and I have seen many names that fill me with sorrow...names of people who are using only a FRACTION of their true potentials! Names of men who could easily become stars, nay, LEGENDS in the wrestling business, but who will never realize their dreams of superstardom because they are LACKING. They are lacking in drive - but there may be salvation for them yet. And included in this list of wrestlers with great potential but little success in the man who will be my opponent in my GLCW debut - one "Lost Cause" Chris O'Neill.
(The camera quickly pans back. We can now see Cannonball from the chest up. He's wearing his wrestling gear)
Cannonball Kidd: Yes, it's appropriate that this man, who refers to himself as a "lost cause", should be the recipient of my newfound wisdom. Mr. O'Neill, in your current state of mind, you are not unlike my previous self. Yes...back in my darker days, the days of my addiction, I often considered myself something of a "lost cause". On many an occasion, I was sure my addiction would overtake me, that my personal demons would defeat me. And I'm sure you, Mr. O'Neill, with your depressing nickname, often feel similarly. But FEAR NOT!
(The camera quickly pans forward to only show Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: You don't HAVE to be a lost cause! By simply LISTENING to me and the message I have to send, you could find yourself going nowhere but UP! Why, if you were to follow my method exactly, you might no longer be "Lost Cause" Chris O'Neill...you might be "Slightly Improved" Chris O'Neill, "Vastly Improved" Chris O'Neill...even "Self-Actualized" Chris O'Neill! Chris, I'm sure you regard being a lost cause as a positive attribute...Lord knows I've seen it before.
(He shakes his head)
Cannonball Kidd: But believe me when I tell you, that sort of thinking won't help you - it will only make things worse and worse, until everything finally comes crashing down. And you don't want that, do you, Chris? That's not how you want your career, your life, to turn out, is it?
(Quick pan back, showing Cannonball's entire torso now. He pulls some sort of goofy superhero-type pose)
Cannonball Kidd: Well, I do know one thing - that's not what I want to happen! That's right, Chris, I care. And I don't like seeing promising individuals like yourself going into the same downward spiral I once went into. And that's why I'm offering to help you, Chris. By following my plan, you can get yourself out of your tailspin and into the straight and steady flight towards self-actualization. All you've got to do is say the words, and I'll be more than willing to help. I know we're scheduled to face each other one-on-one, but hey...often, that can be an integral part of my plan. So, Chris, I've laid it out on the line for you now...the next move is yours.
(Cannonball grins widely and extends his hand, as if asking for a handshake)
Cannonball Kidd: Whaddya say?
(Fade out)
(Cueup: "Lost Cause" by Scapegoat Wax)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: Finally...thanks to the kind people at Great Lakes Championship Wrestling...I have been given another chance to spread my message to the many, many poor souls who have yet to learn the benefits of my lifestyle I lead. I have looked at the GLCW roster, and I have seen many names that fill me with sorrow...names of people who are using only a FRACTION of their true potentials! Names of men who could easily become stars, nay, LEGENDS in the wrestling business, but who will never realize their dreams of superstardom because they are LACKING. They are lacking in drive - but there may be salvation for them yet. And included in this list of wrestlers with great potential but little success in the man who will be my opponent in my GLCW debut - one "Lost Cause" Chris O'Neill.
(The camera quickly pans back. We can now see Cannonball from the chest up. He's wearing his wrestling gear)
Cannonball Kidd: Yes, it's appropriate that this man, who refers to himself as a "lost cause", should be the recipient of my newfound wisdom. Mr. O'Neill, in your current state of mind, you are not unlike my previous self. Yes...back in my darker days, the days of my addiction, I often considered myself something of a "lost cause". On many an occasion, I was sure my addiction would overtake me, that my personal demons would defeat me. And I'm sure you, Mr. O'Neill, with your depressing nickname, often feel similarly. But FEAR NOT!
(The camera quickly pans forward to only show Cannonball's face)
Cannonball Kidd: You don't HAVE to be a lost cause! By simply LISTENING to me and the message I have to send, you could find yourself going nowhere but UP! Why, if you were to follow my method exactly, you might no longer be "Lost Cause" Chris O'Neill...you might be "Slightly Improved" Chris O'Neill, "Vastly Improved" Chris O'Neill...even "Self-Actualized" Chris O'Neill! Chris, I'm sure you regard being a lost cause as a positive attribute...Lord knows I've seen it before.
(He shakes his head)
Cannonball Kidd: But believe me when I tell you, that sort of thinking won't help you - it will only make things worse and worse, until everything finally comes crashing down. And you don't want that, do you, Chris? That's not how you want your career, your life, to turn out, is it?
(Quick pan back, showing Cannonball's entire torso now. He pulls some sort of goofy superhero-type pose)
Cannonball Kidd: Well, I do know one thing - that's not what I want to happen! That's right, Chris, I care. And I don't like seeing promising individuals like yourself going into the same downward spiral I once went into. And that's why I'm offering to help you, Chris. By following my plan, you can get yourself out of your tailspin and into the straight and steady flight towards self-actualization. All you've got to do is say the words, and I'll be more than willing to help. I know we're scheduled to face each other one-on-one, but hey...often, that can be an integral part of my plan. So, Chris, I've laid it out on the line for you now...the next move is yours.
(Cannonball grins widely and extends his hand, as if asking for a handshake)
Cannonball Kidd: Whaddya say?
(Fade out)
K
KING
Guest
You Care?
Fade in: "Lost Cause" Chris O'Neill stands infront ofthe faded GLCW backdrop. His eyes are closed, his chest rises up and down with each deep breath he takes. A hemp necklace rests upon his chest, and abrand new tattoo graces his stomach.
O'Neill: "Could it be true? Someone out there feels my pain and agony, knows what I go through each and everyday!Somone sees the talent I have and he ability locked inside. I find this to be almost to good to be true, but I also tend to this its nothing more then BS! Is this you speak of Cannonball Kid, nothing more then false hopes your trying to fill my head with? Or is this a true blue plan to make me a living legend, a modern day hero, a new age icon! Tell me KID, my ears are open, and my heart is empty!"
(The camera zooms in on a tight shot, of O'Neill's face. he opens his eyes, which are all blood shot, his skin broken out in hives.)
O'Neill:"I pretty sure this is rock bottom, I can't sink any lower into the sewers of professional wrestling. Everytime I feel like I am making progress someone lays a big one, and sends me back into the sewer deper, and smellier then the first time! And I am at my wits end, looking for salvation, looking for the promisd land. But is this true, does this program, these ideas make any sense? Or is it a ploy, and sham acting on desprite people who would do anything for a shot a that brass ring! OH MY GOD, I AM GOING CRAZY!"
(O'Neil reachs back and pulls the backdrop down and wraps himself in it. And appears to be shvering.)
O'Neill:"I am slowley going crazy....Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, SWITCH! Crazy am I going slowley...........HELP, HELP, HELP! Or maybe NOT!
FTB
Fade in: "Lost Cause" Chris O'Neill stands infront ofthe faded GLCW backdrop. His eyes are closed, his chest rises up and down with each deep breath he takes. A hemp necklace rests upon his chest, and abrand new tattoo graces his stomach.
O'Neill: "Could it be true? Someone out there feels my pain and agony, knows what I go through each and everyday!Somone sees the talent I have and he ability locked inside. I find this to be almost to good to be true, but I also tend to this its nothing more then BS! Is this you speak of Cannonball Kid, nothing more then false hopes your trying to fill my head with? Or is this a true blue plan to make me a living legend, a modern day hero, a new age icon! Tell me KID, my ears are open, and my heart is empty!"
(The camera zooms in on a tight shot, of O'Neill's face. he opens his eyes, which are all blood shot, his skin broken out in hives.)
O'Neill:"I pretty sure this is rock bottom, I can't sink any lower into the sewers of professional wrestling. Everytime I feel like I am making progress someone lays a big one, and sends me back into the sewer deper, and smellier then the first time! And I am at my wits end, looking for salvation, looking for the promisd land. But is this true, does this program, these ideas make any sense? Or is it a ploy, and sham acting on desprite people who would do anything for a shot a that brass ring! OH MY GOD, I AM GOING CRAZY!"
(O'Neil reachs back and pulls the backdrop down and wraps himself in it. And appears to be shvering.)
O'Neill:"I am slowley going crazy....Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, SWITCH! Crazy am I going slowley...........HELP, HELP, HELP! Or maybe NOT!
FTB
GARTHIsTheLaw
League Member
More than you know
(Cueup: "Simmer Down" by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: Hello, ladies and gentlemen...for those of you who've just tuned in, I'm Cannonball Kidd, a Man with a Message. Now, as some of you may not know, I spent many years in the CRUSHING grip of an addiction to prescription painkillers. And while that was truly a terrible time in my life, now that I've come back from the very precipice of self-destruction, I have learned the delicate art of self-actualization - becoming the absolute BEST person I can be. Now, since my days of sadness are behind me, I'm a pretty happy guy most of the time, and I don't need much encouragement to be pleasant. But despite that, right now, I am in just an EXCEPTIONALLY good mood.
(The camera pans out to show Cannonball's entire face. He is grinning in a motivational fashion)
Cannonball Kidd: And just WHY am I in such a fabulous mood? Well, recently, "Lost Cause" Chris O'Neill, my opponent at Massive Assault, had a few words for me. And while his words were rife with pain and anguish, I saw in him something that excites me - a genuine and specific need for my assistance. Yes, folks, Chris O'Neill doesn't know it yet, but every word that comes out of his mouth is a call for help - a call that only I can answer. My personal program for self-actualization is clearly the right answer for the "Lost Cause", and I'm going to start my program right now.
(The camera pans back significantly. Cannonball is wearing his wrestling gear, and he stands next to what appears to be a department-store mannequin)
Cannonball Kidd: Clearly, Mr. O'Neill, you will not be able to begin taking in the knowledge I offer until you learn to repress the murderous hatred you harbor towards all mankind. And that's why anger management is going to be the first step you'll have to take to become self-actualized...just like me. Of course, I wouldn't be so foolish as to take my chances with your murderous hatred face-to-face, so that's what this mannequin is for. This mannequin will represent you in this session, thus allowing you to observe my treatment WITHOUT subjecting me to pain inflicted at the behest of the voices in your head.
(Cannonball puts his arm around the mannequin's shoulders and smiles motivationally [if that isn't an actual word, assume that it is now] again)
Cannonball Kidd: Chris, the way things are now, you say an awful lot of negative things about yourself, and these negative thoughts can only have negative results. So the next time you say something like (clears throat), "I'm pretty sure this is rock bottom, I can't sink any lower into the sewers of professional wrestling" or "Every time I feel like I am making progress, someone lays a big one and sends me back into the sewer deeper and smellier than the first time", instead of allowing the voices in your head to agree, I want you to replace those voices with mine.
(He turns to the mannequin)
Cannonball Kidd: There there, "Lost Cause"...you don't have to beat yourself up! I know you feel like you're no good, that you just can't make it in the wrestling business. Well, keep your chin up! Because I just so happen to know someone else who once thought he couldn't get any lower in life. Yes sir, this poor young man also spent years filled with self-loathing - he thought he would NEVER be able to come to grips with his problem! But even though he thought he'd never find salvation, that young man never gave up that one shining ray of hope. And one day, that ray of hope started to grow until one day, the light of hope shined so brightly in that young man's soul that it chased away the darkness and started him back on the road to success - AND the road to self-actualization! And now, that man has found himself in a position where he can use his knowledge to help others with the problems he once had. That's right, Chris O'Neill, you may think yourself no more than a "Lost Cause" now, but if you hang on to that last glimmer of hope, someday it could save you. And the next time the voices in your head start to drag you down, just tell them that no matter what they say, they CAN'T take away your hope!
(Cannonball grins widely)
Cannonball Kidd: And finally, Chris, I will leave you tonight with a gift. Something I'm sure you've been in need of for a long, long time, and I only wish the voices of murderous hatred in your head would allow me to give it to you in person.
(Cannonball turns and gives the mannequin a hug, then turns back to the camera)
Cannonball Kidd: Well, Chris, my time here is up, but I hope you've benefited psychologically from the Cannonball Kidd Method. Because I, like you, was once a "lost cause" in the eyes of many, including myself...but now?
(He strikes a superhero-like pose)
Cannonball Kidd: ...I'm a Man with a Message.
(Fade out)
(Cueup: "Simmer Down" by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones)
(Things start out with a black screen. After a few seconds, the words "CANNONBALL KIDD" appear, grow seemingly closer to the camera, and then fade out. They are followed by "A MAN" and "WITH A MESSAGE". After the text is a close-up on Cannonball Kidd's eyes, covered as always by his signature flight goggles)
Cannonball Kidd: Hello, ladies and gentlemen...for those of you who've just tuned in, I'm Cannonball Kidd, a Man with a Message. Now, as some of you may not know, I spent many years in the CRUSHING grip of an addiction to prescription painkillers. And while that was truly a terrible time in my life, now that I've come back from the very precipice of self-destruction, I have learned the delicate art of self-actualization - becoming the absolute BEST person I can be. Now, since my days of sadness are behind me, I'm a pretty happy guy most of the time, and I don't need much encouragement to be pleasant. But despite that, right now, I am in just an EXCEPTIONALLY good mood.
(The camera pans out to show Cannonball's entire face. He is grinning in a motivational fashion)
Cannonball Kidd: And just WHY am I in such a fabulous mood? Well, recently, "Lost Cause" Chris O'Neill, my opponent at Massive Assault, had a few words for me. And while his words were rife with pain and anguish, I saw in him something that excites me - a genuine and specific need for my assistance. Yes, folks, Chris O'Neill doesn't know it yet, but every word that comes out of his mouth is a call for help - a call that only I can answer. My personal program for self-actualization is clearly the right answer for the "Lost Cause", and I'm going to start my program right now.
(The camera pans back significantly. Cannonball is wearing his wrestling gear, and he stands next to what appears to be a department-store mannequin)
Cannonball Kidd: Clearly, Mr. O'Neill, you will not be able to begin taking in the knowledge I offer until you learn to repress the murderous hatred you harbor towards all mankind. And that's why anger management is going to be the first step you'll have to take to become self-actualized...just like me. Of course, I wouldn't be so foolish as to take my chances with your murderous hatred face-to-face, so that's what this mannequin is for. This mannequin will represent you in this session, thus allowing you to observe my treatment WITHOUT subjecting me to pain inflicted at the behest of the voices in your head.
(Cannonball puts his arm around the mannequin's shoulders and smiles motivationally [if that isn't an actual word, assume that it is now] again)
Cannonball Kidd: Chris, the way things are now, you say an awful lot of negative things about yourself, and these negative thoughts can only have negative results. So the next time you say something like (clears throat), "I'm pretty sure this is rock bottom, I can't sink any lower into the sewers of professional wrestling" or "Every time I feel like I am making progress, someone lays a big one and sends me back into the sewer deeper and smellier than the first time", instead of allowing the voices in your head to agree, I want you to replace those voices with mine.
(He turns to the mannequin)
Cannonball Kidd: There there, "Lost Cause"...you don't have to beat yourself up! I know you feel like you're no good, that you just can't make it in the wrestling business. Well, keep your chin up! Because I just so happen to know someone else who once thought he couldn't get any lower in life. Yes sir, this poor young man also spent years filled with self-loathing - he thought he would NEVER be able to come to grips with his problem! But even though he thought he'd never find salvation, that young man never gave up that one shining ray of hope. And one day, that ray of hope started to grow until one day, the light of hope shined so brightly in that young man's soul that it chased away the darkness and started him back on the road to success - AND the road to self-actualization! And now, that man has found himself in a position where he can use his knowledge to help others with the problems he once had. That's right, Chris O'Neill, you may think yourself no more than a "Lost Cause" now, but if you hang on to that last glimmer of hope, someday it could save you. And the next time the voices in your head start to drag you down, just tell them that no matter what they say, they CAN'T take away your hope!
(Cannonball grins widely)
Cannonball Kidd: And finally, Chris, I will leave you tonight with a gift. Something I'm sure you've been in need of for a long, long time, and I only wish the voices of murderous hatred in your head would allow me to give it to you in person.
(Cannonball turns and gives the mannequin a hug, then turns back to the camera)
Cannonball Kidd: Well, Chris, my time here is up, but I hope you've benefited psychologically from the Cannonball Kidd Method. Because I, like you, was once a "lost cause" in the eyes of many, including myself...but now?
(He strikes a superhero-like pose)
Cannonball Kidd: ...I'm a Man with a Message.
(Fade out)