Welcome to FWrestling.com!

You've come to the longest running fantasy wrestling website. Since 1994, we've been hosting top quality fantasy wrestling and e-wrestling content.

Television Championship: Jorgenson v Black (c)

BatistaFanClub

League Member
Joined
Jun 22, 2009
Messages
17
Points
0
(The youtube loading image fades away as we see Jeff "Greenhorn" Jorgenson pacing back and forth in front of his computer. He sees the webcam has finally started working and sits down.)

Jeff "Greenhorn" Jorgenson: The time has come. Well, it hasn't come yet, but it is nearly here. It is so close I can see the glow of the lights, I can hear the yells of the people and I can smell the locker room. When I grew up, I grew to love wrestling by watching it on television. I can imagine that almost every fan out there discovered this great sport the same way. So you can imagine my excitement when I say I am incredibly close to my chance to win the Television Championship. When I was six years old, watching those larger than life figures on my TV screen I never thought I'd be the one who was fighting for the title on that screen.

My opponent is Erik Black, and I am not looking past him. But I can't even imagine that I am actually here.

A year ago the best I could hope for was being shown on a tiny small town UHF station, or public access. But, this is my chance to become the Television Champion of a New ERA. I can be the champion of the medium that makes people fans. The face of a new generation of wrestlers. A sign that people like me can really make it.

I know I have to train, and study, and then when the time comes I need to execute. I also need to show the fans that I'm worthy of this so I'm not alone out there. But, I also need to remind myself I've accomplished something by just getting here. The final goal is the title, but I can't psych myself out by giving in to the pressure. I'm in a no pressure situation because I have accomplished something just by getting here. But, wrestling is all about the final accomplishment and going above and beyond. So I am going to go above and beyond.

Eric Black, I am coming for the Television Title.

I am coming for it for all of the guys busting their ass for fifty dollars a night.

I am going to win it for everyone throwing up after running five miles on the first day of wrestling school.

I am going to give EVERYTHING in that ring for every fan who has wished they could step through those ropes and do what we have the privilege of doing.

This is a privilege, and we always need to remember that. We're competing at the highest level doing what everyone who has ever been changing channels and saw two men in the ring wishes they could do. We are the lucky few who actually get to live the dream. But on top of that, Erik Black, you are one of the even smaller number who has held a true, meaningful championship. Ever since I stepped foot in the Hacker School of Wrestling I have waited for the moment when I held a belt like that in my hands and knew that I was a real champion.

I'm sure you want to hold onto that title, but I don't know if you know how hard I am going to fight to win this title. I am not going to let the fans down. I've been in those seats, and I plan to celebrate with everyone in that arena afterward.

I have been watching videos. I've hit the gym. I've been running every morning. I've looked over my matches and tried to find holes in my own game. I might even call up some of your previous opponents and see if there is anything they think could be done to take you down. I'm going to check the message boards and see what the fans are saying about your game. If only I flew into these events I'd talk to all the fans that mob the announcers in the airports. I'm not going to take anything for granted.

I can almost feel it. I can feel every time I shake the ropes and feel the energy. I can hear every pounding of the mat so I can hear the crowd roar louder. I can sense every sensation from the lights, the screams, the smells and the feel of the moment.

I could talk for hours, but there isn't much more to say right now. I have work to do. I have to make sure my words come true. I have to make sure my dreams come true.

I have been waiting for this day for decades. This is the reason I couldn't focus in high school, how can you pay attention in history when you want to win the big one? How can you work a 9 to 5 when you were born to step into the squared circle? All I can say is I was born to be a wrestler, and hopefully I was meant to be a champion. If I wasn't, well... I'm still a wrestler and I am still wrestling in the big leagues.

But, I am about to take this to another level.

I'm about to take the Television title.

(Related Videos...)
 

RStrawsma

Strawbot
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
1,512
Points
36
Age
40
Location
Indiana
February 10th, 2010
MGM Grand Garden Arena
Backstage at Destrucity II

(Only moments had passed since the Conan-level Television Title match between Cruise and Black. The capacity crowd outside was still chanting “DRU-ID!! DRU-ID!!” as the new champion recklessly tore through the black curtains and strode gallantly back to the locker room, the TV Title hanging in his hand.)

(Sam Baxter was there, waiting with a mic in hand.)

Sam Baxter
ERIK! Can I get a word?

(Hardly aware that words were even spoken, the wild-eyed Druid ripped the mic out of his hand.)

The Druid
“ERIK?!” What the hell is an “ERIK!?” Just a NAME... bestowed on me at BIRTH as if it would determine my path in some transparent web of predetermination!

Names are MEANINGLESS, my friend! There is no “Erik Black”... all that you see in front of you is “THE DRUID!!” I am nobody... and EVERYBODY... and what you just witnessed was NOTHING compared to the ever-present voice of SUPER-REALITY that BELLOWS in my face at every waking hour!

(He holds up the TV Title, overly dilated eyes staring disbelievingly into the metallic plating, as if seeing it as something completely alien to his understanding.)

The Druid
And THIS?! What’s THIS, I ask you!? Fame? Fortune? GLORY?!

This is NOTHING, my friend! Just a token of the MOMENT that was CONCEIVED here tonight! This BELT had NOTHING to do with what happened out there! That was just two COSMIC BODIES in this infinite universe coming to a CHRONIC COLLIZION so extreme, it ripped the fabric of the space and time continuum! Even now, you can FEEL the cosmos SHUDDER in the wake of my professional wrestling AWESOMENESS!!

And you can sit there and deny it if you want... but you know deep down that YOU can FEEL IT TOO!!

Tell me you can’t... GO ON, TELL ME, YOU BASTARD!!

Sam Baxter
Uh... who are you talking to?

(Black spun around, turning away from the brick wall he was incoherently raving in front of for the past couple, and seems to recognize the reporter for the first time.)

The Druid
Oh, hey man...

Sam Baxter
Are you, uh... alright?

The Druid
I’m beyond that, amigo. But I think I gotta roll, man... this place is seriously coming down on me.

(Wiping a glaze of perspiration from his forehead, Black hands the mic back to the reporter and wanders aimlessly down the hallway, shambling feet desperately trying to transport him to the red neon beacon of an “EXIT” sign hanging over a door.)

Sam Baxter
But Erik... err, DRUID!! Hey, WAIT!!

(Black pushes through the door and disappears as we go to black.)


March 29th, 2010
At a random hotel in the desert...

(The camera fades in on Sam Baxter, back on the job. He sternly gives the door to room 7B an audible knock. From inside, we can hear somebody stumbling multiple times and a variety of things either being smashed or knocked over in the occupant’s curse-heavy attempt to answer the door.)

(Finally, the door comes open, revealing the haggard visage of “THE DRUID” ERIK BLACK. It looks like he either hasn’t slept in days, or spent the past few days sleeping heavily.)

“The Druid” Erik Black
...yeah??

Sam Baxter
Good morning, Erik! You got a minute?

(Eyes blinking in the sunlight of the early day, Black seems to recognize the reporter’s face for the first time.)

“The Druid” Erik Black
...OH, SAM! Awesome... I thought you were another damned cleaning lady...

(Breathing a sigh of relief, Black flashes a grin and reveals the lamp he had been holding behind his back, which he carelessly throws aside.)

Sam Baxter
Uh... should I come back at a better time?

“The Druid” Erik Black
Sammy, you don’t understand... we’re all OUT of time! You need to get your ass in here YESTERDAY!

(Before Sam can get another word out, Black’s hand shoots forward, clamps down onto his shoulder, and practically drags the man into the motel room. The camera follows the two into the destroyed remains of Erik’s motel room. The walls appear caked in condiments. The furniture is absolutely destroyed. Puddles have formed from an overflowing sink in the adjoining bathroom. The TV is stuck on an endless display of static.)

(Baxter takes in his surroundings with a questionable look on his face. Black, apparently getting back to what he was doing before the reporter called upon him, sits down on the edge of the bed, picks up Geezer, and takes a rip.)

Sam Baxter
Oh, Erik... how many hotel rooms must be destroyed on New ERA’s tab?!

“The Druid” Erik Black
As many as it takes, Sam... until the world opens their eyes to the light of the STONER SUN!

Sam Baxter
Man, Erik... you have no idea how hard it was to track you down. Nobody’s seen or heard anything out of you since Destrucity II back in Las Vegas. What have you been doing for the past month and a half since the Pay Per View?

(Releasing two righteous lungfuls of smoke into the atmosphere, Black hacks in surprise.)

“The Druid” Erik Black
…it’s been a MONTH and a HALF since Destrucity II?! DAMN...

Sam, let me tell you... I’ve been on some SERIOUS cosmic journeys in my time... but THAT batch of boomers was something not of this EARTH!!

Sam Baxter
That... must have been some trip.

“The Druid” Erik Black
Oh, it was MORE than a trip, man. I wasn’t standing in the ring at Destrucity, man—I was ON Destrucity! The actual PLANET! It felt like I was locked in some epic mortal struggle with the WARRIOR HIMSELF!

Cthulhu grew those shrooms on his ASS or something! I went BEYOND Earth and its petty miseries... beyond even time and space! I stared in the face of the UNIVERSAL TRUTH, man... and you know what it said back? You know what the answer is to the all-encompassing search for the TRUTH is?

It’s “FUCK YOU and DON’T ASK AGAIN!”

Sam Baxter
I’ll keep that in mind the next time I wonder about the meaning of life.

(Black sets the bong down and pops to his feet, joining Sam in front of the camera. He looks rather ridiculous with his hair sticking out in half a dozen directions and his beard completely smashed up against one side of his face. Regardless, he flashes a devilish smirk in the camera’s direction as if he could give a **** what people thought about his looks.)

“The Druid” Erik Black
You’d do WELL to keep that in mind, Sam! I’m not just having these astral voyages for my own personal PLEASURE here! I’m trying to make my fellow homo-sapiens THINK! I’m trying to help the world make that next step in the evolutionary PHASE!

Sam Baxter
Right...

Well, if there’s on thing to be said... you certainly made a lot of people THINK differently after your big win over Cameron Cruise to become the New ERA of Wrestling Television Champion! Some thought it IMPOSSIBLE... and yet somehow, you made it happen!

“The Druid” Erik Black
That’s right, Sam. That’s what I DO! I DEFY reality! I change PERSPECTIVES!!

I mean, CRAP... did you see that PHOENIX DRAGONRANA I BUSTED OUT IN THERE?!

Sam Baxter
Yes... it was definitely one of the biggest moments of the night. You nearly blew the ROOF off of the MGM Garden Arena with that.

“The Druid” Erik Black
FUCKIN’-A, man!! That’s what I’m talking about!

And Cam... well hey man, he was a great sport. And he doesn’t know it yet, but I did that man a FAVOR that night! See, Sam... I liberated him from the burden of the Television Title!

Sam Baxter
I wasn’t aware that the TV Title WAS a burden...

“The Druid” Erik Black
To Cameron Cruise? Very much so. Cameron Cruise deserves BETTER than the TV Title. You and I both know it, Sam... he’s got all the motivation and talent one needs to be standing at the TOP of New ERA of wrestling. But he can’t get there if he’s going to jump into the ring to defend against the likes of JOHN DOE and JEFF “GREENHORN” JORGENSON night after night. So all I did at Destrucity was lighten Cam’s load.

Sam Baxter
So if the TV Title was a burden to Cameron Cruise, then what does it represent for yourself? This is, after all, your career’s first major achievement in singles wrestling. That must mean something to you...

“The Druid” Erik Black
...meh, not really, Sam.

Sam Baxter
Really?

“The Druid” Erik Black
Look... I’ve never been big on achievements. I see these guys showing off their trophy cases all the time, and I think to myself, “When that METEOR hits the PLANET, all the GOLD in the world ain’t going to be anything more than SPACEDUST!”

I was thrilled to have the opportunity to fight a champion... but to me, “champion” is a worthless word. A man shouldn’t use his material possessions to speak for him.

Sam Baxter
...where IS the belt, anyway?

“The Druid” Erik Black
The belt? Oh... CHECK THIS, dude...

(Black throws off his ceremonial bathrobe and turns around, revealing where the TV Title has been hiding this entire time. He’s wearing it backwards, face of the belt resting right over his lower back. Cameron Cruise’s name has been covered over by a piece of masking tape with “THE DRUID” written on it in magic marker.)

“The Druid” Erik Black
I finally found something to cover up the fact that my ass-crack is hanging out 24/7!

Sam Baxter
That’s... very innovative. Though I have to admit, it’s a little disheartening to see you treat something as venerable as the New ERA of Wrestling Television Title as little more than plumber’s crack protection.

(Shrugging, Erik turns to face the camera again.)

“The Druid” Erik Black
Look... just because I don’t CARE for the tedious hierarchical rat race this industry practically FORCE FEEDS us doesn’t mean I don’t cherish the moment! I mean, I’m seriously STOKED to be considered New ERA’s TV Champion!

I mean, technically... I am this federation’s televised ICON! I am the FACE of its public broadcast relations! I think that means something significant... cause you look at the past champions and what they stood for. Mr. Entertainment... when he held this belt, it was like New ERA was telling the wrestling world, “This is WHO WE ARE. We are ENTERTAINMENT.” When Cruise picked up the belt, it came a time of transition—right in the middle of that crazy merger. What the federation was saying at that time was, “We are the NEW GENERATION.”

But the merger is finished... and now, it’s come to ME. I’m the fuck-you spirit in all of us. I am freedom of speech. I am the brash and outspoken rebuttal to your contemporary preconceived notions. Now, New ERA of Wrestling says, “This is WHO WE ARE. We are DIFFERENT.”

More than just “different”, though. REVOLUTIONARY.

Sam Baxter
You really seem to have thought this out...

“The Druid” Erik Black
Well, you know, when you lock yourself up in a motel room for a month in a half coming down on shrooms, you get time to think about shit...

But that’s what COUNTS to me, Sam! I have VISION! I have AMBITION! I want to change this industry in this most unconventional means you can possibly think of!

Sam Baxter
...eating shrooms and doing flips into flaming tables?

“The Druid” Erik Black
...if that’s what it TAKES, man!

Sam Baxter
Your reckless apathy contrasts sharply with the conviction and dedication of the first challenger to your TV Title reign... Jeff “The Greenhorn” Jorgenson! Did you get the opportunity to watch his promo on Youtube?

“The Druid” Erik Black
Eh... no, Sam. I couldn’t quite tap into this place’s WiFi account. They actually don’t even know I’m here right now.

Sam Baxter
Jeez...

Basically, your opponent made a very spirited monologue pertaining to his life-long commitment to becoming the Television Champion. He talked quite passionately about the amount of training he’s done to prepare for this match... and how it’s been his lifelong ambition to become a champion of wrestling.

(Erik looks visibly wounded as his brain tries to compute this.)

“The Druid” Erik Black
Ugh... glad I missed it. Did he have an American flag held up behind him?

Sam Baxter
Uh... no, he didn’t go that far. But my question is, Erik... how can you match that sort of dedication to this sport? He’s put every second of his LIFE toward fulfilling his life-long dream to being a champion... which means pinning you, or forcing you to submit. We saw some of that in his victory over Steve Burke and the former Television Champion Mr. Entertainment at Destrucity II. On the contrary... the lifestyle of “The Druid” Erik Black continues as if OBLIVIOUS to what lies ahead of him at RAUCOUS.

“The Druid” Erik Black
This entire planet lives oblivious to the forces beyond the sight of our primitive telescopes... completely blind to the cosmic doom that awaits us... yet somehow, we find the courage to wake up, go about our lives, and somehow get by on doing that.

Call me apathetic... but I just don’t see how my choices matter in the grand scheme of things... knowing there are forces out there that are completely beyond my control. When I walked into my match at Destrucity II, I made it clear from the onset that I could care less as to whether or not I walked out with the strap. The TV Title is not a reward, in my eyes. The experience I had in that ring between the bells was all the reward I ever needed... feeling the very GALAXY react to my wrestling ability!

Am I supposed to liken that to fifteen pounds of leather and tin?

(He unstraps the belt and holds it up to the camera.)

“The Druid” Erik Black
Jeff... are you SERIOULSY telling me that THIS is your lifelong ambition?!

THIS?!

(He shakes his head with pity.)

“The Druid” Erik Black
Man, I try to be as open-minded as I can, but... that’s just a notion I can’t get behind. I mean, why set your ambitions so LOW? Why do you feel that the only way you can possibly justify your meaningless existence on this meaningless planet is by adding a CHAMPIONSHIP to your career resume?

I know that I’m supposed to somehow emphatically moved by the fact that you’ve come so far and worked so hard and yadda yadda... but I find it hard to sympathize for you, man. So many men come into this industry with the same story... and so many leave, disappointed. It’s a depressing fact, made even more depressing when you consider how much untapped potential the wrestling world has seen slip through its fingers.

You’ve worked your entire life to get this far... but for all your worrying and tedious preparations, you can’t face the fact that you just don’t know what’s going to happen when that bell rings and I let loose. Even at your very best, there IS the possibility that I can outlast you for fifteen minutes at my very worst. What would you do if you came up short? What if you had to face the fact that your dream was NEVER going to be realized?

You’re living in a fantasy world, where the path to happiness is paved in the tedious virtue of success. It’s a young, foolish notion... and I suppose it’s fitting for a guy who calls himself “the Greenhorn.”

(Stroking his beard, Erik shakes his head for a moment. Then, it’s as if a Bic lighter flicks on over his head, and an idea is born.)

“The Druid” Erik Black
But I’m going to do you a favor, Jeff... I’m going to enlighten you in ways you never thought possible... and I won’t even have to offer you a bong hit. All I have to do is walk into that ring and let the Universe work itself out. Fifteen minutes is all I need to change your mind.

I’m going to deny you of your dream, Jeff... to help you realize that you should be dreaming of other things. I’m going to save you from an existence of being nothing more than just another name written down in the New ERA of Wrestling history books... and show you the true path to immortality. In doing so, I will teach you a lesson that will be crucial in the long evolutionary road before you, from lowly inexperienced rookie to wizened legend.

(He glances back at Sam, who has been listening close to every word.)

“The Druid” Erik Black
So basically, Sam... at RAUCOUS... I am going to SMOKE THE GREEN out of “The Greenhorn”... and maybe just maybe, we’ll make a man out of this kid.

Sam Baxter
It will definitely be interesting to see how two opposing ideals collide when the two of you are in the ring... but good luck in your first title defense! I’ll see you there at Salt Lake City!

“The Druid” Erik Black
Salt Lake City, dude... New ERA presents MORMON MASSACRE!!

(Black reclaims his bong and falls back into his spot at the end of the bed.)

Sam Baxter
Uh... we’ll just see ourselves out.

“The Druid” Erik Black
Awesome, dude... OH, and if you could... don’t tell anybody I’m here.

Sam Baxter
...’kay.

(Sam motions to the camera and the two scuttle out of the motel room, leaving Erik Black to another epic bong rip as the footage cuts.)
 

BatistaFanClub

League Member
Joined
Jun 22, 2009
Messages
17
Points
0
(The youtube loading icon vanishes from the screen as we see Jeff "Greenhorn" Jorgenson looking amped up in front of his web cam. He's in a rather dingy locker room, wearing a tank top and track pants.)

Jeff "Greenhorn" Jorgenson: It's time. That last big workout before the big match. Some of us are worried about making sure we are in peak condition, and some are worried about making sure they haven't lost their voice from talking too much. I'll admit I am still new to this. That isn't a secret. but, I've never seen someone talk as much as Erik Black. I guess that's what Druids do.

It doesn't seem like he cares about anything else. I never thought I'd see an opponent think that being a champion wasn't important. That endeavoring to be champion was some how a small dream.

Clearly listening isn't his strong suit either.

Just making it this far is a dream come true.

Winning the belt would just be that much sweeter.

I can deal with losing, since my career is just beginning. I'm just now learning to take the skills I learned at the Hacker School of Wrestling and apply them in the ring. I'm learning to excite the fans while punishing my opponents mistakes. But, I still expect I'll lose from time to time. We all do. Do I plan to lose? No. Do I think you are better than me? Well, I think you've already answered that question.

In ten seconds you've shown that pro wrestling is not your true passion. A person who loves this sport would never even consider that being a champion is anything but a dream come true.

But I guess that wouldn't be "edgy" or "deep" enough. It wouldn't impress the girls in Philosophy 101 and make the professor roll their eyes at you. Go ahead and pretend you don't care. Put in as much effort as you can into being apathetic. While you spend hours weaving tales about the fate of the planet I will be concentrating on my training and this match. You can goof around on substances, but none of that is going to make you a better wrestler. None of it is going to make anyone take you seriously.

Maybe that is why you don't take the Television Title seriously. How can someone take a belt seriously when they don't take themselves seriously? And how can anyone take the champion or the championship seriously when that is the case.

I intend to change that. That's why I'm here. I'm in the gym to make sure I come into this match as a true competitor. Even if my opponent isn't a true champion, I will treat him as such. Even if I am being told this isn't important, I will treat it as important. I want the fans to know I am not going to take anything lightly. I want their respect, and I want the respect of the true competitors who get in that ring.

Wrestling isn't one big pot joke. It is my life.

That belt isn't just a belt. It's not just some strap of leather. It is a symbol. A symbol of this company, a symbol of the way we all became wrestling fans. Well, those of us who were wrestling fans, and not just... whatever you are. Your friends and all can practice chatting, super. You can practice smoking, not caring, and believing this is all one big joke. But it isn't to me. I don't think it is to the fans either. If it was they'd be at the improv. They'd go see some stand up. Or they'd go down town and score some drugs. Or they'd log onto the internet and go to a chat room, or to an open mic night so they can talk their brains out.

This is a wrestling event. You have a wrestling championship. We will be in a wrestling ring, in front of wrestling fans.

If you want to keep doing what you are doing, fine. But like I said, I am going into this assuming a professional wrestler will be across the ring from me.

But feel free to enlighten me, feel free to try to do anything you want. I plan to try to do what I learned in the Hacker School of Wrestling. I plan to do what the people came to see. I plan to come out of this match as the Television Champion.

If my plans don't come to fruition... then I will redouble my efforts. I will be back.

In fact, I should probably double my efforts right now. There is no time like the present. I have come this far, and only a little further away is a chance to be a true champion. I don't plan to let someone who thinks this is a giant joke stand in my way.

(Jorgenson grabs a towel and shuts off the camera as we cut to Related Videos...)
 

RStrawsma

Strawbot
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
1,512
Points
36
Age
40
Location
Indiana
(CUE UP: “Fly On” by Nebula. Yes... we’re going into some new territory with your daily dosage of stoner rock. We open up looking into the very face of the cosmos itself, spanning some one hundred billion light years and growing, with a sea of swirling galaxies decorating a blanket of absolute nothing. Epic... breathtaking... beautiful...)

(...yeah, I’m just fucking with you – it’s a black backdrop with some stickers slapped randomly across it. New ERA doesn’t quite have the budget to cut a promo out on the edge of the cosmos. Under the right mindset, however... and with a few magic mushrooms added into the mix... who’s to say it isn’t whatever the hell you feel like it should be?)

(Quite majestically, “THE DRUID” ERIK BLACK enters the frame, adorned in his ceremonial robes, Ray Ban aviators, and the bong named after Black Sabbath’s bass player.)

“The Druid” Erik Black

Sup, Chrono.nauts?

(He flashes the camera a cheesed grin before turning around and gesturing at the space backdrop.)

“The Druid” Erik Black

Here we are, at the edge of the Universe... the very end of time and space as we know it.

This is where CHAOS is revealed... and TRUTH rears its ugly, little head.

(He swirls around to face the camera.)

“The Druid” Erik Black

If you’ve had the courage to come this far, then do me a favor: sit back, take it easy, light up a J, and prepare to have your OWN Universe expanded...

(Black raises the pipe... three, two, one... BLASTOFF... and he’s back to talking.)

“The Druid” Erik Black

It’s typically not my style to be chiming in last minute like this... but there was something in that last promo that... well, it just didn’t sit right with me. Like that feeling you get when you realized that bag you’re smoking out of is just COMMERCIAL grade...

(He makes a disgusted faced which is only settled by briefly stroking his beard and shaking his head.)

“The Druid” Erik Black

See... I’m no stranger to ignorance. In fact, it almost feels like since I first stepped into New ERA, everyone and his brother has been trying to tell me that I’m either too stupid or too stoned to succeed in this federation... much less be taken seriously as a competitor.

Today... I’ve encountered a new breed of ignorance in the form of Jeff Jorgenson. Today... I’ve been told that I have NO PASSION for this sport.

(He audibly scoffs and visibly fights back the urge to physically lash out at this blasphemy. It only takes a moment for him to recompose himself... after another hefty hit off Geezer. After that, he removes the shades and gives his direct, unadulterated gaze to the camera.)

“The Druid” Erik Black

Jeff... since you’re a young, fresh-faced “Greenhorn” stuck in the hustle and bustle of today’s professional wrestling industry, there’s a certain amount of slack I feel obligated to cut you. You’re not an IDIOT, by any means... but to say professional wrestling isn’t my PASSION??

(His face tweaks ever so slightly.)

“The Druid” Erik Black

I mean... that’s a bold thing to say to a man who has dedicated a DECADE of his existence to throwing himself through every table in sight just to get a RISE out of the crowd... not for fame or glory or petty “titles”, but just out of sheer EXHILARATION.

If I didn’t have PASSION for this sport, Jeff, I would have QUIT after I broke my arm moonsaulting off my dad’s garage at the ripe age of sixteen. Instead, two years later, while my classmates shipping off to college, I shipped off to Japan... earning a paltry living putting my body on the line one night after the next in every indie fed you’ve never heard of.

Ten years later, I’m still pretty much doing the same thing... living on the road out of the back of a van, and going to every limit and taking every chance when my time in the ring comes. I live a paltry and forgettable existence, all just to give the fans something NEW and EXCITING to see, and just to give my opponents a taste of something they’ve NEVER experienced before.

I don’t do it for fame or fortune, Jeff... and I sure as hell don’t do it for TITLES. I do it all simply for the love of self-destruction. I do it because... nobody else has the BALLS to do it. When you try to tell me that passion for this industry means dedicating yourself to putting a strap around your waist and earning a false sense of accomplishment, I can only sit here and wonder if whether your love is for this sport or only for yourself.

(Erik smirks on this last remark before he takes a hefty hit off the bong and lets it out, setting up a cloud of smoke that momentarily obscures his image.)

“The Druid” Erik Black

In your case, Jeff... you’re just like Cameron Cruise... just like John Doe...

You can’t see past the SMOKE...

(The cloud clears.)

“The Druid” Erik Black

You can’t see the MAN that stands beyond. You can’t see the EMBODIMENT of professional wrestling innovation that will be standing across from you in that ring.

You’d sooner write me off as stoned... apathetic... PASSIONLESS...

Yet...

(Scoffing, he turns around the studded strap of leather around his waist... revealing the face of the New ERA of Wrestling Television Champion. He unfastens it and looks at it in his hand for a moment, smiling as he remembers the words of his former opponents.)

“The Druid” Erik Black

...if what you say is true, Jeff, then right here in my hand is the material evidence that proves just how far a man can GO when he’s stoned and could otherwise give a shit about what he’s doing or where he’s going.

(With a satisfied chortle, he sets the belt over his shoulder.)

“The Druid” Erik Black

It’s sad to think that for all your hard work in the gym, dedicating yourself to being fit and prepared for this title match, there’s still the possibility that you may come up short. Convince yourself all you want, but the fact of the matter is that since I came to New ERA, I’ve left nothing but BODIES and ROACHES in my wake. I’ve beaten more experienced and more determined guys than you. Go back and review those tapes you CLAIMED to have watched if you need more proof.

Am I simply the better wrestler? Honestly, I don’t know, and frankly, I don’t care. I’m not in this to measure the size of my sack with yours. Simply put, I’m going to walk into that ring tripping balls and busting out bongzilla flips left and right, and all you can do is hope you can keep up.

I’m not saying that hard work and dedication get you NOWHERE... but I’ve been in this industry long enough to know that in most cases, it DOESN’T. The History of World is built on the backs of tremendous failures. George Washington lost more battles than he won. Christopher Columbus missed the mark he was looking for in the West Indies by a few hundred thousand MILES. And yet all of these guys have accomplished more than they could have ever imagined when they first set off to fulfill their life’s calling...

(He arches an eyebrow, a daft and somewhat maddened expression in his eye.)

“The Druid” Erik Black
It just goes to prove how much further one can go with a reckless LEAP OF FAITH into the black unknown, as opposed to walking a straight, single-visioned track toward a single, vague goal.

You’ve dedicated every moment of your LIFE to get to this point, Jeff... but in the end, the UNIVERSE has the final say as to who walks out of the ring with the strap. Some years down the line, when you’ve come to accept your limitations and realize what it means to TRULY be passionate about this sport instead of just wanting to see yourself as a person of petty importance... you might come to understand this yourself.

In the meantime, when you wrap up your daily training regimen... pat yourself on the back... floss your teeth... and sleep soundly tonight knowing that everything is right and in tune in your tiny little world...

...cause come RAUCOUS, your world is going to see the rays of a NEW STONER SUN RISING...

(With a final hit off the bong, Erik crabs out of the frame. We go to black to an outro of “Fly On.”)
 

About FWrestling

FWrestling.com was founded in 1994 to promote a community of fantasy wrestling fans and leagues. Since then, we've hosted dozens of leagues and special events, and thousands of users. Come join and prove you're "Even Better Than The Real Thing."

Add Your League

If you want to help grow the community of fantasy wrestling creators, consider hosting your league here on FW. You gain access to message boards, Discord, your own web space and the ability to post pages here on FW. To discuss, message "Chad" here on FW Central.

What Is FW?

Take a look at some old articles that are still relevant regarding what fantasy wrestling is and where it came from.
  • Link: "What is FW?"
  • Top