TH
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- Joined
- Jun 18, 2004
- Messages
- 2,953
- Points
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- Age
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- Location
- Philadelphia
- Website
- wallsofjerichoholic.blogspot.com
[Pyro explodes over Madison Square Garden as a full house of raucous fans scream at the tops of their lungs. The camera pans down and zooms in on a well dressed Iron Duke and the incomparable Jess Chapel.]
JC: WELCOME EVERYONE TO THE TEAM INVITATIONAL SEMIFINALS! I'm Jess Chapel, and with me as always is everyone's favorite onery Brit, The Iron Duke.
ID: Bloody hell, Jesse, I'm not onery. Rusty Joe be onery.
JC: Touche, Duke, although I haven't seen a Roderick McRatrick sighting all night. But enough of that, let's get right to the action in the ring!
(The lights lower as the ring announcer gives the introductions…)
Marvin Darling: The next match is scheduled for one fall and is a TEAM challenge match. First, the challenger.
(“Bad Company” by Bad Company blares… Red and green pinpoint spots crisscross the arena and track Irishred as he walks down the ramp…)
MD: He stands six feet tall and weighs in at 235 pounds. He hails from Yankton, South Dakota. He is Irishred!
(Green cloverleaf spot on center of the ring as Irishred enters, stands with his head back and closed fists touching each other in front of his chest... When he spreads his arms wide the cloverleaf turns to red… The "Red-Heads" of course goes crazy at this point…)
Jess Chapel: We have Irishred in the ring now gearing up for this match that he asked for. The challenger said he is here simply to test the rookie in this special Challenge Match in the TEAM semifinals. Only time and a whole lot of wrestling will tell if the rookie is up for the challenge.
Iron Duke: I really don’t see the reason to be excited. Irishred proudly proclaims a heritage that history has proven is the origin of the clown. The rookie, this Sergeant character’s only saving grace is that he fought along side the Queen’s Royal Army in the Middle East.
(Back to the announcer…)
Announcer: … and his opponent…
(“We Right Here” by DMX blares… The Sergeant comes through the curtains to a loud pop…)
Announcer: … standing 5 feet 10 inches and weighing in at 201 pounds. He hails from Springfield, Missouri. The Sergeant!
(The Sergeant stands midway between the entrance and the ring to another pop… He takes one look at the challenge set before him and moves into the ring, attempting to stretch…)
JC: Irishred wastes no time. The Sergeant had his back turned and Irishred is on the attack.
ID: This indeed is a redeeming quality for the match.
Irishred continues a vicious assault on Sarge and has him in the corner stomping a figurative hole in Sarge’s chest as he is slumped in the corner. He picks The Sergeant up and immediately hits a snap suplex on him. Slowly rolling back into the ropes and then rebounding he drops a knee squarely onto Sarge’s face. He rolls away and The Sergeant rolls in pain on the canvas.
JC: I don’t think I’ve witnessed Irishred with this much intensity from the start of the match. This is less a test and more of a lesson for the rookie by the teacher and veteran of the ring, Irishred.
ID: This is simply what a good wrestler should do at the start of every match. To me, it’s textbook wrestling by someone who doesn’t know the meaning of the word “textbook”.
The beating continues. The Sergeant stands up with help from Irishred and is whipped into the far corner. Irishred sprints across the ring, slamming an elbow into the side of Sarge’s head. The Sergeant then stumbles out of the corner and lands face first on the mat. Irishred celebrates.
JC: I wouldn’t get too caught up in the what you’ve accomplished so far. The Sergeant has been known to bounce back from greater assaults than this one.
ID: For once I agree that this match is far from over.
Irishred gets The Sergeant standing again in preparation for another snap suplex but is countered when Sarge hooks the leg and rolls him up.
JC: A great counter… the count…
1…
2…
No!
Irishred kicks out at an early two-count.
ID: There still has been no offense by the young man.
The Sergeant attempts to roll away and regroup but Irishred is having none of that as he puts the boots to him. He slowly brings Sarge to his feet and executes a fall away pump handle slam.
JC: Bad Company! Irishred is digging into his repertoire of heavier hitting moves now.
ID: I doubt the rookie will be lasting much longer if he fails to get any offense in or to get away for a breather.
Irishred quickly transitions into an armlock and then positions himself to the side of a now kneeling Sergeant. Mere moments later and Irishred has transitioned from the armlock into a cross face by swiftly punching The Sergeant in the kidney, dropping him face first on the mat. With the cross face locked in, Irishred is talking to The Sergeant.
JC: I don’t know what he is saying, but it looks as if Irishred is trying to add insult to injury.
ID: A tremendous amount of injury from the looks of it.
JC: Will the rookie tap out?
The crowd gets into the match and cheer for a badly beaten Sarge to fight back. As the roar gets louder, a visibly upset Irishred releases the hold and drops an elbow on the back of Sarge’s head. Irishred leaves the center of the ring and climbs the top turnbuckle. Motioning to the crowd, he leaps and drives a knee directly into the kidney of The Sergeant. He keeps the knee there and grabs Sarge’s ankle for an Irishred version of the ankle lock.
JC: It’s “Double Trouble” for The Sergeant! This is probably the most one-sided match that I have seen in a long time.
ID: The rookie hasn’t really done a damn thing, save that one roll up earlier in the match.
The Sergeant attempts to break free and screams in pain as every attempt to break the hold is met with Irishred’s knee pressing more firmly into his kidney. A few moments later and Irishred seems once again to be bored with a submission hold that he has firmly applied.
JC: I really don’t know what he’s thinking. He very well could have finished The Sergeant off a few times already.
ID: We’ll never know, though. The bloody moron hasn’t been trying to finish the deal.
Once the hold is released and Irishred starts getting to his feet, The Sergeant immediately rolls over, sits up, and sends a swift punch to Irishred’s ribs. As he doubles over in pain, Sarge fires another shot to his face. Irishred stumbles backwards into the ropes while The Sergeant collapses to the mat still in obvious pain and holding his side.
JC: Wow! It was almost as if The Sergeant was praying to be let out of that hold. He’s still in a lot of pain though and it looks like Irishred will still have free reign to continue this beating.
ID: It’s the rookie’s first offense of the entire night and it comes in the form of two punches. Not very promising at all. Perhaps he is delaying the inevitable.
With The Sergeant on the mat with his back turned to Irishred, Irishred shakes the cobwebs off and approaches again. Turning Sarge over a little for a better angle, he punches directly in the back of the head.
JC: Oh my God that looked like it hurt. I have a headache just watching it.
Irishred rolls to the outside looking for a chair. He finds one but when attempting to enter the ring with it the referee grabs it. With Irishred on the outside and the ref on the inside of the ring, they struggle before Irishred finally rips the chair from the ref’s hands and in frustration throws the chair to the arena floor. He enters the ring in between the ropes and moves toward The Sergeant who is now on his knees in the center of the ring.
JC: What was Irishred trying to do?
ID: The clown wants to simply injure his opponent. This match was ridiculous at first glance and now seems to be getting even more so.
The Sergeant glances over to see Irishred. As ‘red gets closer, Sarge executes a single leg take down in perfect amateur wrestling style. Not satisfied, he leaps onto Irishred and begins his own attack.
JC: Lefts and rights from the rookie and it seems we have new life in this match.
ID: I would yawn, if only I wasn’t so bored that I can’t do that, either.
Sarge is moving slow because of his injuries but that doesn’t stop him as he stands Irishred up only to follow it by delivering a crisp DDT.
JC: How’s that for you, Duke?
ID: BLOODY NORAH!
The crowd is going crazy at this point. The Sergeant is operating on maximum adrenaline as he once again stands his opponent up, this time to deliver a crisp standing dropkick. Irishred staggers back to his feet on wobbly legs but The Sergeant sends him crashing back-first to the mat with a double-leg takedown. Still holding the legs he catapults Irishred into the corner.
JC: Did you see how Irishred’s chest connected with that top turnbuckle? He might have some sternum damage after that one.
ID: The rookie is signaling for that move of his. What does he call it?
JC: The Corrective Training. He tried this once before in a TEAM ring against James Irish. He could get it this time, though.
The Sergeant pulls Irishred from the corner and hooks him into a reverse DDT position. Before he can continue, Irishred grabs him by the head and hangs on, pulling Irishred’s body up off of the ground. He uses the top turnbuckle to push off of, completely rolling over The Sergeant and reversing it so that he is the one holding Sarge in the reverse DDT position.
JC: Once again the Corrective Training has failed to be applied in a TEAM ring!
Irishred follows through and executes a devastating reverse DDT. Rather than cover his battered an beaten opponent, he gloats in the ring. He points at Sarge.
ID: Irishred has proven to me that he is The Sergeant’s superior. He has simply dominated this match.
Irishred stands The Sergeant back up. As he attempts to further punish Sarge, Sarge delivers a right to the face. It’s weak, as The Sergeant is very wobbly. Irishred smiles, shaking his head. He pushes Sarge to the ropes, turning his head ever so slightly. While taking his eyes off of his opponent, The Sergeant uses that opportunity to rebound with force off of the ropes. Sarge delivers a stiff boot to Irishred’s gut and follows it up with a fisherman’s suplex in which he has to twist his body to make Irishred land in the center of the ring.
JC: What would you call that?!?!? That’s a variation I’ve never seen before.
ID: I’d call it a bloody corkscrew fisherman’s suplex. It’s a standard wrestling move where I come from.
JC: Everything looks good and Sarge has it locked in tight. The count…
1…
2…
3!!!!!
Who would believe it? In what looks to be a huge upset in where the rookie was beaten almost the entire match, he pulls this one off with a corkscrew fisherman’s suplex that came from out of nowhere.
The Sergeant rolls away, doubling over and clutching his side. Irishred is quick to his feet and can’t believe it.
MD: The winner of this special TEAM Challenge Match… The Sergeant!
(The crowd pops as “We Right Here” blares once again… Irishred shakes his head and stares at The Sergeant before flashing a smile…)
JC: WELCOME EVERYONE TO THE TEAM INVITATIONAL SEMIFINALS! I'm Jess Chapel, and with me as always is everyone's favorite onery Brit, The Iron Duke.
ID: Bloody hell, Jesse, I'm not onery. Rusty Joe be onery.
JC: Touche, Duke, although I haven't seen a Roderick McRatrick sighting all night. But enough of that, let's get right to the action in the ring!
(The lights lower as the ring announcer gives the introductions…)
Marvin Darling: The next match is scheduled for one fall and is a TEAM challenge match. First, the challenger.
(“Bad Company” by Bad Company blares… Red and green pinpoint spots crisscross the arena and track Irishred as he walks down the ramp…)
MD: He stands six feet tall and weighs in at 235 pounds. He hails from Yankton, South Dakota. He is Irishred!
(Green cloverleaf spot on center of the ring as Irishred enters, stands with his head back and closed fists touching each other in front of his chest... When he spreads his arms wide the cloverleaf turns to red… The "Red-Heads" of course goes crazy at this point…)
Jess Chapel: We have Irishred in the ring now gearing up for this match that he asked for. The challenger said he is here simply to test the rookie in this special Challenge Match in the TEAM semifinals. Only time and a whole lot of wrestling will tell if the rookie is up for the challenge.
Iron Duke: I really don’t see the reason to be excited. Irishred proudly proclaims a heritage that history has proven is the origin of the clown. The rookie, this Sergeant character’s only saving grace is that he fought along side the Queen’s Royal Army in the Middle East.
(Back to the announcer…)
Announcer: … and his opponent…
(“We Right Here” by DMX blares… The Sergeant comes through the curtains to a loud pop…)
Announcer: … standing 5 feet 10 inches and weighing in at 201 pounds. He hails from Springfield, Missouri. The Sergeant!
(The Sergeant stands midway between the entrance and the ring to another pop… He takes one look at the challenge set before him and moves into the ring, attempting to stretch…)
JC: Irishred wastes no time. The Sergeant had his back turned and Irishred is on the attack.
ID: This indeed is a redeeming quality for the match.
Irishred continues a vicious assault on Sarge and has him in the corner stomping a figurative hole in Sarge’s chest as he is slumped in the corner. He picks The Sergeant up and immediately hits a snap suplex on him. Slowly rolling back into the ropes and then rebounding he drops a knee squarely onto Sarge’s face. He rolls away and The Sergeant rolls in pain on the canvas.
JC: I don’t think I’ve witnessed Irishred with this much intensity from the start of the match. This is less a test and more of a lesson for the rookie by the teacher and veteran of the ring, Irishred.
ID: This is simply what a good wrestler should do at the start of every match. To me, it’s textbook wrestling by someone who doesn’t know the meaning of the word “textbook”.
The beating continues. The Sergeant stands up with help from Irishred and is whipped into the far corner. Irishred sprints across the ring, slamming an elbow into the side of Sarge’s head. The Sergeant then stumbles out of the corner and lands face first on the mat. Irishred celebrates.
JC: I wouldn’t get too caught up in the what you’ve accomplished so far. The Sergeant has been known to bounce back from greater assaults than this one.
ID: For once I agree that this match is far from over.
Irishred gets The Sergeant standing again in preparation for another snap suplex but is countered when Sarge hooks the leg and rolls him up.
JC: A great counter… the count…
1…
2…
No!
Irishred kicks out at an early two-count.
ID: There still has been no offense by the young man.
The Sergeant attempts to roll away and regroup but Irishred is having none of that as he puts the boots to him. He slowly brings Sarge to his feet and executes a fall away pump handle slam.
JC: Bad Company! Irishred is digging into his repertoire of heavier hitting moves now.
ID: I doubt the rookie will be lasting much longer if he fails to get any offense in or to get away for a breather.
Irishred quickly transitions into an armlock and then positions himself to the side of a now kneeling Sergeant. Mere moments later and Irishred has transitioned from the armlock into a cross face by swiftly punching The Sergeant in the kidney, dropping him face first on the mat. With the cross face locked in, Irishred is talking to The Sergeant.
JC: I don’t know what he is saying, but it looks as if Irishred is trying to add insult to injury.
ID: A tremendous amount of injury from the looks of it.
JC: Will the rookie tap out?
The crowd gets into the match and cheer for a badly beaten Sarge to fight back. As the roar gets louder, a visibly upset Irishred releases the hold and drops an elbow on the back of Sarge’s head. Irishred leaves the center of the ring and climbs the top turnbuckle. Motioning to the crowd, he leaps and drives a knee directly into the kidney of The Sergeant. He keeps the knee there and grabs Sarge’s ankle for an Irishred version of the ankle lock.
JC: It’s “Double Trouble” for The Sergeant! This is probably the most one-sided match that I have seen in a long time.
ID: The rookie hasn’t really done a damn thing, save that one roll up earlier in the match.
The Sergeant attempts to break free and screams in pain as every attempt to break the hold is met with Irishred’s knee pressing more firmly into his kidney. A few moments later and Irishred seems once again to be bored with a submission hold that he has firmly applied.
JC: I really don’t know what he’s thinking. He very well could have finished The Sergeant off a few times already.
ID: We’ll never know, though. The bloody moron hasn’t been trying to finish the deal.
Once the hold is released and Irishred starts getting to his feet, The Sergeant immediately rolls over, sits up, and sends a swift punch to Irishred’s ribs. As he doubles over in pain, Sarge fires another shot to his face. Irishred stumbles backwards into the ropes while The Sergeant collapses to the mat still in obvious pain and holding his side.
JC: Wow! It was almost as if The Sergeant was praying to be let out of that hold. He’s still in a lot of pain though and it looks like Irishred will still have free reign to continue this beating.
ID: It’s the rookie’s first offense of the entire night and it comes in the form of two punches. Not very promising at all. Perhaps he is delaying the inevitable.
With The Sergeant on the mat with his back turned to Irishred, Irishred shakes the cobwebs off and approaches again. Turning Sarge over a little for a better angle, he punches directly in the back of the head.
JC: Oh my God that looked like it hurt. I have a headache just watching it.
Irishred rolls to the outside looking for a chair. He finds one but when attempting to enter the ring with it the referee grabs it. With Irishred on the outside and the ref on the inside of the ring, they struggle before Irishred finally rips the chair from the ref’s hands and in frustration throws the chair to the arena floor. He enters the ring in between the ropes and moves toward The Sergeant who is now on his knees in the center of the ring.
JC: What was Irishred trying to do?
ID: The clown wants to simply injure his opponent. This match was ridiculous at first glance and now seems to be getting even more so.
The Sergeant glances over to see Irishred. As ‘red gets closer, Sarge executes a single leg take down in perfect amateur wrestling style. Not satisfied, he leaps onto Irishred and begins his own attack.
JC: Lefts and rights from the rookie and it seems we have new life in this match.
ID: I would yawn, if only I wasn’t so bored that I can’t do that, either.
Sarge is moving slow because of his injuries but that doesn’t stop him as he stands Irishred up only to follow it by delivering a crisp DDT.
JC: How’s that for you, Duke?
ID: BLOODY NORAH!
The crowd is going crazy at this point. The Sergeant is operating on maximum adrenaline as he once again stands his opponent up, this time to deliver a crisp standing dropkick. Irishred staggers back to his feet on wobbly legs but The Sergeant sends him crashing back-first to the mat with a double-leg takedown. Still holding the legs he catapults Irishred into the corner.
JC: Did you see how Irishred’s chest connected with that top turnbuckle? He might have some sternum damage after that one.
ID: The rookie is signaling for that move of his. What does he call it?
JC: The Corrective Training. He tried this once before in a TEAM ring against James Irish. He could get it this time, though.
The Sergeant pulls Irishred from the corner and hooks him into a reverse DDT position. Before he can continue, Irishred grabs him by the head and hangs on, pulling Irishred’s body up off of the ground. He uses the top turnbuckle to push off of, completely rolling over The Sergeant and reversing it so that he is the one holding Sarge in the reverse DDT position.
JC: Once again the Corrective Training has failed to be applied in a TEAM ring!
Irishred follows through and executes a devastating reverse DDT. Rather than cover his battered an beaten opponent, he gloats in the ring. He points at Sarge.
ID: Irishred has proven to me that he is The Sergeant’s superior. He has simply dominated this match.
Irishred stands The Sergeant back up. As he attempts to further punish Sarge, Sarge delivers a right to the face. It’s weak, as The Sergeant is very wobbly. Irishred smiles, shaking his head. He pushes Sarge to the ropes, turning his head ever so slightly. While taking his eyes off of his opponent, The Sergeant uses that opportunity to rebound with force off of the ropes. Sarge delivers a stiff boot to Irishred’s gut and follows it up with a fisherman’s suplex in which he has to twist his body to make Irishred land in the center of the ring.
JC: What would you call that?!?!? That’s a variation I’ve never seen before.
ID: I’d call it a bloody corkscrew fisherman’s suplex. It’s a standard wrestling move where I come from.
JC: Everything looks good and Sarge has it locked in tight. The count…
1…
2…
3!!!!!
Who would believe it? In what looks to be a huge upset in where the rookie was beaten almost the entire match, he pulls this one off with a corkscrew fisherman’s suplex that came from out of nowhere.
The Sergeant rolls away, doubling over and clutching his side. Irishred is quick to his feet and can’t believe it.
MD: The winner of this special TEAM Challenge Match… The Sergeant!
(The crowd pops as “We Right Here” blares once again… Irishred shakes his head and stares at The Sergeant before flashing a smile…)