(FADEIN to a pair of blue eyes staring straight ahead. The camera slowly starts to zoom out and we see the face of Eddie Patton, his eyes blazing, and his lips pursed in anticipation. The camera further pans out and we see his arms crossed, standing in front an enormous IWF Surge banner.)
PATTON: “What better place than here... what better time than now?
“Yes, I know they’re Rage Against the Machine lyrics and it’s not 1998 anymore. But some sentiments are timeless.
“IWF’s first supershow... and it just happens to be called Surge. Perhaps the big fella upstairs is tellin’ me somethin’. Or maybe it’s just a coincidence. I ain’t no fortune teller, that’s for sure.
“But it feels right. The elelctric feelin’ in the air... the momentum startin’ to swing my way.
“Chance favors the prepared. And I am prepared, gentlemen. I know I look like some podunk from Indiana, and I reckon in some ways, I am, but I ain’t a pushover and I ain’t a steppin’ stone for the two of you to launch your careers.
“I came here to excel. To achieve. To personify excellence.
“Because we are the masters of our own destiny. There is no fate we can’t escape. We have everything in our hands.
“And my hands ain’t tremblin’ no more. I got the butterflies outta my stomach. I can feel it.
“Every day... every day I train. I prepare. I watch tape. I watch you, gentlemen. I come to know you as much as a man can before he steps into the ring.
“I know you both dream big... much bigger than beatin’ ol Eddie Patton at the IWF’s first supershow. Your eyes glitter with the possibility of glory and success. But right here, right now... I am your everything.
“I don’t know either of you real well. But I s’pose Mr. Niles here has a bone to pick with Spooky Doom, for one. I know the sting of defeat don’t just go away once the curtains are drawn and the final bell rings and the fans go home.
“It stays with you. It reminds you. It haunts you, don’t it?
“I remember my first match here in IWF... I couldn’t understand a goddang thing outta Mr. Mateo’s mouth, and I figured he was perhaps a little too drunk, but at the end of the day.. hook or by crook, the man got his arm raised.
“More than I can say for me.
“But next time. Next time...
“Nah, that don’t matter. What matters is Surge.
“Not revenge on Mateo. Not revenge for Niles. Not Spooky Doom concernin’ himself with ULTRATITLE.
“This is about us. About our destiny.
“About MY destiny.
“I expect you gentlemen to come and fight. And fight hard. And believe you can win. And do everything you can to do so.
“But if you don’t come prepared... if you make a mistake... if you make one false move. I will capitalize on it. I will be ready. Waiting and patient.
“The electricity... it’s already flowin’ through me... just waitin’.
“For that circuit to flip. For that chance.
“For that Surge to begin.
“Good luck, boys, and may the best man win.
“Or, if not, y’know... I wouldn’t mind if it was me.”
Fade In to a man walking down the hall whistling with his hands in his pockets. The camera zooms in and shows that the man is non other than IWF's Johnny Niles. Johnny completely ignores us until the reporter walks up to him, microphone in hand.
Reporter: Mr. Niles...
Niles cuts him off before he can continue.
Johnny Niles: What's with the "Mr"? I'm not your boss. And it's not like I'm going to shove you into the wall if you speak impolitely.
Niles winks at the camera, implying the viewers know what he's talking about.
R: OK... So Johnny, how does it feel to compete at your first Supershow?
JN: Well, I've competed in big events before during my travels, and I've won in the big matches. But I've never competed in a major company's Supershow, so that's a whole new frontier for me to explore. And it's aptly called Surge, cause I feel energized. My boiling blood flowing through my veins makes it feel as if there's electricity flowing through me.
Niles takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, obviously letting the feeling soak in.
R: What do you think of your opponents, Eddie Patton and SpookyDoom?
Niles frowns and opens his eyes, a look of anger on his face.
JN: What do I think of them? Well, I've made it pretty clear how I feel about SpookyDoom, haven't I? Now I'll admit, he got lucky once, but that doesn't mean I'll let that punk get the last laugh. If he's smiling right now, I'll be sure to wipe - no, KICK that smile off his face and beat him to a pulp. And then I'll show that his victory was a fluke, a lucky break.
R: So then what do you think about Patton? Or is your attention only on SpookyDoom?
JN: I may be looking for payback on SD, but that doesn't mean I'm just gonna ignore Eddie. Hmm... Eddie. It seems like a comedy name. Maybe I watched to much Ed, Edd & Eddy when I was a kid.
Johnny has a faraway look in his eyes, apparently remembering the ridiculous yet hilarious show.
JN: Anyway, I'm not just focusing on SD, I'm preparing for Eddie as well. I don't know much of Eddie as a person, but I know about his ring skills. Let's see: he uses a blend of technical mat wrestling and aerial assault, he tends to bust out a hurricanrana when he's got momentum, and his finisher is a Vertabreaker. Interesting. I've seen him wrestle, and I know that he lacks polish, killer instinct; he's just a rookie. Now, I'm not underestimating him, but I doubt he'll be too much of a challenge. Do you know why little reporter?
The reporter - a little intimadated - replies.
R: Why is that?
Johnny smirks, pats the reporter on the shoulder, and answers.
JN: Because, I'm the BEST... IN... THE... WORLD!!!!
Johnny then looks into the camera, takes it in his hands, and turns it off.
FADE TO...Down at IWF headquarters, we find masked luchador Spooky Doom looking up wistfully at a giant blown-up poster of the upcoming Surge PPV. He points to his match as the camera does a close-up: the triple threat encounter between Johnny Niles, Eddie Patton and himself pretty much buried amongst the underdcard. Turn to the black, green flame etched mask of Spooky Doom.
Spooky Doom: "For many wrestlers of the IWF, Surge will be their opportunity to settle feuds and make things right. I know Mary-Lynn wants to prove she's as much of a threat as any man out there when she fights Eddie Whisky in this "no cheating" match. Go Go Spectacular wants to avenge herself in a way that'd make any Grim Reaper or Grim Reaper-like thingy proud and we have one heck of a main event in Vizier Ta Seti versus Perfection..."
"Point is, where Surge is mostly about conclusions, in one glorious exception it signals the rise of what will soon be IWF's most recognizable superstar. The Undead Superstar, Spooky Doom."
Let's take a walk down IWF headquarters with Spooky Doom! That's first name Spooky, last name Doom, two words, never abbreviated to SD.
Spooky Doom: "Hey all, I'm something of this new sensation here in the IWF but if you've watched Chain Reaction, you've seen me in action already doing cool ass lucha moves and making a fool out of the supposed "best in the world" Johnny Niles. I guess netherworld's best beats normal world's best but I'm not here to discuss that; I'm here to discuss where you, yes you the wrestling fan, thinks he'll see Spooky Doom next."
"Because this triple threat match might very well decide who the next breakout star of the IWF will be. I heard Eddie P. has his fanbase, for some reason Johnny Niles has a fanbase and I know I wake the dead every time I step inside the ring... But who do you want to see in the future facing the likes of the Minstrel or even Vizier Ta Seti? The plain-spoken boy from Gary, Indiana? He's... nice. Johnny Niles? Warning, if you answer Johnny Niles then you suck and we can't be friends and Good Lord what the hell are you even thinking?"
"My point, and I swear I had a point going into this, is that if you're with me then I'll be with you through the end. Despite my youthful looks and charming personality, this ain't my first time at the ball, or hired within a reputable wrestling organisation for that matter. And if absolutely nothing else, I'm loyal. A trait I picked up from my uncle: I stick with those who stick by me."
"I'll be there to fight the Minstrel no matter what happens after Surge. I'll take on Eddie Whisky no matter the stipulation. I'm the Spooky Doom: I WAS BORN TO FIGHT DEMONS. It's a friggin' family tradition, well not my father, he's a certified accountant but yeah: I take the souls from those who have none! Not to mention I'm IWF's best hope at the ULTRATITLE. I mean, Erik Mateo is completely unintelligible, Eddie Patton didn't even participate and Johnny... Yeah, you fans need me just as much as I need you!"
Walking around with the Spooky Doom, we come across the pile of coffins and assorted spooky stuff we saw in the very first appearence of the Lil' Phenom, at Chain Reaction 7. He kneels down next to a pile of skulls, addressing the audience directly.
Spooky Doom: "Hard prepping up for a match with no clear antagonist, ain't it? Everyone's real talented, everyone's real nice... The thing is, beating people up is one thing, being a real bonafide hero is another. I could beat up Johnny Niles every friggin' card from Surge going on forever, I really could, but it wouldn't mean anything. That's why I need you, the fans. Because if you think I'm important, then I'll make all of you the most important people in my unlife and we'll fight everyone else that needs fixin' in the IWF together."
"And Eddie: find yourself a regular finish already. I mean, sheesh! Geeze! Cripes! Jeepers! Uuuuuh... is it the vertebreaker or have you settled on something less lame already? Cuz reapers gotta know."
Fade In to the young and uber-talented Johnny Niles standing in front of dozens of fans in front of the Key Arena - the place where the IWF's Surge Supershow will be held. Johnny signs a few autographs and takes a few photos before getting a megaphone.
JN: Hey everyone!
The fans roar with cheers for the self-professed Best In The World. Johnny smiles and continues.
JN: I get it, I get it. You guys love me. I can't blame ya. It's hard not to love the best living and breathing wrestler walking the planet. Well anyways, how do you guys feel about Surge.
Everyone cheers, apparently they can't wait for the Supershow to occur.
JN: I can see you're all excited about it. Yeah... Well it's hard not to be. We've got a No Cheating match between Mary-Lynn Mayweather and Eddie Whisky, the debut of Leyenda de Ocho and Steve Jackson, and we've got Perfection facing Vizier ta Seti for the Emerald City Championship. That's a lot to be excited about. But there's another match on the card, one where there's unfinished buisness between the participants. I'm talking about the Triple Threat match between me, Eddie Patton and SpookyDoom.
The fans voice their anticipation, cheering for each participant's name. The camera shows a sign saying "Patton Rules", while another sign says "SpookyDoom's Gonna Getcha!", being held by a kid wearing a mask similar to that of SpookyDoom. Johnny at first looks displeased, but then laughs after he sees a sign that says "SpookyDoom Isn't the Best, Johnny Is".
JN: I see we've got some of their fans around here. That doesn't bother me. You see, unlike SpookyDoom, I believe everyone is free to choose who they like. Whereas Spooky calls anyone who isn't a fan of his an idiot.
The crowd boos at this, then starts chanting: JOHNNY NILES *clap clap clap* JOHNNY NILES.
JN: You see, SpookyDoom, these people here know who the best is, and that's me. While you go frolick around in your makeshift graveyard, I thoroughly beat competitors who challenge me. And while I'm here interacting with the fans, you spout bulls**t about taking souls. Awww, how cute. You actually believe you've got superpowers akin to Grim Reapers. Dream on, kid. This is reality, the reality where you go into that ring and get beaten down by me.
Crowd: JOHNNY JOHNNY JOHNNY JOHNNY.
JN: As for you Patton, don't think for one second I've forgotten about you. Here's what you should do kid: when all three of us face off, do yourself a favor and stay out of the way. I've got buisness with SD and he's the one I'm gonna defeat. Whereas you, I don't have a problem with. So stay out of the ring while I dismante Spooky and you won't get hurt, got that!? And seriously, who do you think you're gonna beat with a vertabreaker?
The camera shows sign that says "Vertabreaker = Lame"
JN: And now people I must go. It was a pleasure meeting you all, and you better get ready for Surge! As for you, Spooky and Eddie: don't bother getting ready, cause I'll still beat you. Cause I'm the
he crowd starts chanting in unison:
JN & Crowd: BEST... IN... THE... WORLD!!!!
The crowd roars with approval to the wrestler's boast. Johnny then places the megaphone on the ground and lifts his arms into the air. Fade Out...
(FADEIN to a small study where Eddie Patton sits, wearing an Indiana University t-shirt and shorts. He’s watching various clips of SpookyDoom and Johnny Niles on a computer. He watches a few, then rewinds and watches them again. He seems to take down a few notes and then leans back, contemplating.)
PATTON: “You’ll have to excuse me, gentlemen... I don’t mean to bore anybody, but the truth is, between the training and the studying, there isn’t a lot of time for me to impress y’all, apparently.
“I hadn’t realized up until this moment, in fact, that the Circuit Breaker was such an unimpressive way to win a match, boys.
“I mean... I guess for regular folks it’s alright, maybe, but for a Demon Hunter and the single Greatest Wrestler in the History of the World, well... it ain’t so impressive.
“Me, well.. I’m just a runt. Too small, too slow, too weak by far... y’all are just bidin’ your time until you can put these shoulders to the mat and fulfill your destiny. I’m just a steppin’ stone, right, boys? A small obstacle. A footnote in the biography of your legend.
“But I reckon I’m gonna go ahead and try anyway. I mean, hey, you never know, right? Even a Demon Hunter can lose a match now and again. Even the Best Wrestler Ever can have an off night and hey, maybe, with any luck, you’ll get a cold and be really sick.
“Truth is, gentlemen... sarcasm don’t really become me. As Doom toldja... I’m kind of... nice.
“I can’t say I really understand the desire to disrespect a man just because he’s your competition. We’re all tremendous athletes, after all. And for us to even be here.. for us to even have this enormous opportunity... I mean... we had to beat tremendous odds just to be here.
“But it isn’t enough to just be here, is it, fellas? No, sir. Because we are competitors. And while I may not need to disrespect you as beneath me...
“I sure as heck am gonna spend every waking moment studying you. Watching you. Understanding you. Looking for some weakness to exploit. Some undiscovered trait you have which I can use in that ring.
“If you take too many risks, I’m gonna make sure you pay for ‘em. If you use too much energy with that adrenaline flowin’ through your veins in the first few minutes, I’m gonna try to outlast you.
“I ain’t makin’ no false promises. All I got is me tryin’ harder than the next guy. Bein’ ready for anything. For that moment... that opportunity to arise.
“Because in every match, there is that moment that defines us. Allows us to rise up and be more than what we were. To achieve glory. To touch greatness, if only for a second.
“And when the fans are screaming our names, because they know we laid it all on the line, and we bustin’ our butts for just one more chance...
“In those few precious moments, it’s all worth it for me, boys. I don’t need to be no Demon Hunter or no Greatest Ever. Just me... plain ol’ Eddie Patton.
“It’s enough for me.
“The electricity... the opposition... the pain... the studying...
Yes, that is Spooky Doom madly screaming in front of the camera. He's screaming quite loudly too, in absolute shock at what he just heard. See, in addition to representing the IWF at the ULTRATITLE successfully, Spooky Doom also wrestles for the IWF where he's slated to face both Eddie Patton and Johnny Niles in a triple threat match. What you're seeing is Spooky Doom after listening to Johnny Niles.
Spooky Doom: "You just stole my promo! You just stole my friggin' material right after I done finished using it! What the hell man? What the hell? Yeah, start off with showing off the rest of the card; I'd say they'd have actual business to finish in the ring while I already finished my business because I ALREADY PINNED YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING, but close enough, right? Acknowledge you're in a triple threat with nothing but fan favorites and how hard it is to build drama around that; hey, did that too!"
"And that dig about Eddie Patton needing to find himself a better finish... THAT'S MY DIG! DIG-STEALER! DIG-THIEF! Do you realize how hard it was to find any shred of personality on Eddie Patton to dig at? He's shows no personality, there's nothing to dig into, he's an absolute blank slate with blue eyes! I went at his finish because he himself wasn't certain about it; it was something. In actual fact, the friggin Vertebreaker would be banned by any wrestling federation mindful of the safety of its employees! Why did you steal my diiiiiiig??????"
"I guess... I guess I should be flattered. They do say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery... BUT I'M NOT FLATTERED! In fact, I'm bonafide insulted: why can't I fight someone who'll make up his own material? Not a "CM Flunk" as Mike C would say... One anyone who'd blatantly lie in front of the camera??? I never called your fans idiots, I called YOU an idiot. Because YOU are an idiot. You idiot!!"
"And the Surge PPV is still DAYS away!!! Why are there fans at the arena now? Is parking so hard to get in Seattle? Did you kidnap a bunch of people and started filming your misdeeds again? PEOPLE DO NOT ASSEMBLE AT AN ARENA DAYS BEFORE THE ACTUAL EVENT OF THE SHOW!"
"Look, you don't seem to have a clear understanding about what us Grim Reapers of wrestling do if you think it's all about the magical powers. Granted, there are magical powers and they're friggin' sweet, shooting lightning bolts out of your fingertips never stops kickin' ass! But for the most part, us Grim Reaper thingies are there to send people to Death. Death is a transformative process. Right now, you, Johnny Niles, ARE HORRIBLE. This is never easy to say, but it's essential for it to be said or else these people will keep being horrible forever. This is where I, lil' Grim Reaper thingy specialised in the field of professional wrestling that I am, comes into question. Now listen very carefully at what I'm about to say."
"I am going to smash right through Johnny Niles and claim his soul. Not "dismate" Johnny Niles, but throw him in a ditch and bury his body. If you truly do love professional wrestling, maybe something else will come back like some manner of undead Grim Reaper thingy- listening? That's what I am! But whatever the hell rises up it won't be Johnny "It's Clobering Time" Niles. It's very important that Johnny Niles dies right now, at Surge, or else he'll crap on everything else in the IWF. And I won't allow that. I'm Spooky Doom. I'm a real deal Grim Reaper thingy that sends souls to the afterlife. Same as my uncle before he got caught into MMA."
"And you're welcome, by the way."
"And Eddie... uh... you suck, I guess. Yeah. No really, if I were to sum it up then I'd say that you don't really understand what being "electrifying" actually entails from a performer."
Fade In to Johnny Niles sitting in his recliner, drinking a cup of Pepsi. His face shows displeasement, anger, disappointment, but it all disappears after he starts chuckling.
JN: Oh boy... What did I ever do to deserve this? If there atually is someone who's up there, he must hate me. Probably cause I don't believe he exists, but anyways. SpookyDoom...
Johnny stops his speech before shaking his head and facepalming himself... Not an "Epic Facepalm", that facepalm with that captian from Star Trek.
JN: Why does everyone accuse me of copying? I don't believe Spooky was visiting fans during his RP, nor was he talking with a megaphone. So I did something similar, sue me why don't ya! If everyone was called a theif just because they did something a little similar, we'd all be in jail. Oh and by the way, if I was imitating you I'd be wearing a mask dancing around in a graveyard singing "I'm gonna take your sooul, I'm gonna take your sooul". Yes, I am similar to CM Punk, so? Dolph Ziggler is similar to Mr. Perfect and Billy "Ass" Gunn - depends on who you ask - but he's not completely like them. So what if I like Pepsi!? A lot of people do! And so what if I'm straight-edge!? Is that a crime? Is it a crime to choose to live a healthy life, to not ingest substances that could potentially kill you? And so what if I call myself the Best In The World? When you've accomplished as much as I have - not just here in the U.S. but around the world - I believe that you have a right to think highly of yourself, am I wrong?
Johnny takes a sip of his Pepsi before continuing.
JN: Spooky, I don't think you know how wrestling works. NOTHING is over with just one match, why do you think feuds take 2-18 matches to be considered over!? And who are you calling a liar? I know you called my fans idiots, well something to that degree. Here's the proof: Taken verbatim from SpookyDoom's RP: "Warning, if you answer Johnny Niles then you suck and we can't be friends and Good Lord what the hell are you even thinking?"
Johnny takes yet another sip of his Pepsi before continuing.
JN: As for why the fans were there, apparently there was an event where the fans could meet wrestlers, so I showed up. And also... You know what Spooky, you need help, cause apparently you insist I'm some sort of evil devil and that you're gonna take my soul with your magical pixie dust before dancing all around it. It's obvious I can't rationalise with you, so I'm just gonna ignore you. That's the best way to deal with insane, obnoxious, egotistical rats who give this buisness a bad name.
Johnny turns to the his right, as if he was going to speak with someone else... wait, yes he is.
JN: Yo Eddie, if you're reading then read it well. Fine, I'll admit that the vertabreaker isn't that bad of a move, and yes it's banned due to it's risks. Which makes me wonder my the IWF would allow it... Anyway's, you ain't half bad. I'll admit that I'm flattered that you called me "the Single Greatest Wrestler in the History of the World". But that doesn't mean you have a chance at winning at Surge. I'll admit this: I'd rather fight you one-on-one than have a Triple Threat with that asylum escapee SpookyDoom. Either way, the result wouldn't change. After the bell that singnifies the end of the match rings, the announcer will announce the winner. No, it's not gonna be you, Eddie. And it sure as hell isn't gonna be "Grimmy". It's going to be me, Johnny Niles. You know why?
Johnny smirks, takes one last sip of his Pepsi, and takes a deep breath.
JN: Because I'm, the BEST... IN... THE... WOOOOOOOORRLLDD!!!!!
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