(Fade in to Steve Johnson standing wearing an Ohio State Letterman jacket as he is walking down a flight of stairs in Gillette Stadium. He is standing up at the upper deck of the stadium and settles towards a seat somewhere near the fifty yard line in one of the top rows. It is windy and his hair is tussled by the breezy wind.)
At Ohio State while I was busy wrestling for a scholarship, I spent a lot of time appreciating history. I believe it is only by appreciating history that I could truly gain the ability and understanding of what I wanted to become. Today I know, today I want to be the WORLD CHAMPION.
It was here four years ago that history was made, well before the Super Bowl of Wrestling debuted here, a young quarterback over came obstacles, a blizzard, and adversity to take out the Oakland Raiders. That quarterback it pains me to say was Michigan Wolverine Tom Brady. He won the game that night with his stellar play and made history with a little luck. It was that night that he began his run towards immortality and 3 championships.
One year ago, there was another chapter in history made. Four men entered into one of the bloodiest battles the WFW had ever seen. Those men were warriors, engaged in a contest where only the bloodiest would prevail. It was that night that one of wrestling’s greatest, a three time WWL champion conquered three men destined to be footnotes in the most dominant run of a champion.
Now in all that time so much has happened since you won the championship, yet everything remains the same. There have been many names who have attempted to overcome your reign. But like those three jobbers at last years Super Bowl, this laundry list may be as impressive as the 1990s Buffalo Bills.
I recognize that my opportunity to overcome obscurity begins and ends with our rematch. I know the fan who is sitting here, in the nosebleeds is so far removed from the action, that they will only remember who won. Jared when I fight this match, it will not only be a fight against you, but it will be a battle to overcome the oblivion that found your previous competitors. I want this fan sitting here in section 413, row 18 seat 11 to feel that when he spent his 30 bucks that he saw history. Superbowl will be that, it will be when our destinies meet to deterimine not only who is better, but who will be remembered.
I realize that at this point in your run, you probably still perceive me no different than the list of other curtain jerkers who management has fed you in your run, but I assure you that no one you have ever faced has had the desire or ability that I have. I over came my opportunity at oblivion at Ohio State. I could have been a foot note after I tore my rotator cuff in the National Championships of my Sophomore year, but I rebounded and in my senior year I won my second national championship. I could have been just another bit of wasted talent who could have been great, but I would not accept potential. Just as this fan in the nosebleed will not accept a potential at the greatest show in WFW’s year, I will not allow it from you.
Jared I saw you flying on co pilot in your tag match, and it sickened me to see this federation’s greatest champion working without desire. These fans are starting to turn to you even though you despise them, not because of what you say or do, but because of how you perform. There have been many times when the show was on its back that you carried by taking some lifeless performer into the history book.
I think that the fans and the record books need a spokesman. At Super Bowl I think it appropriate, if you deem it important enough to show up, that we provide everyone with what they want, and that is match worth remembering. If five years from now people are talking about our match, it will be a bigger success than the tag tournament or whoever wins the “other” world title. So Jared let me lay it on the line, in our last match that you won, we fought on your terms, I challenge you know in our new match, to fight on my terms, and that is an I Quit match. Jared we are at a cross road as to where our legacy’s are heading, and the last thing I want the fans remembering about the match, is that Jared Wells was so consumed with his title that he was afraid of fighting some rookie on his terms.
I won’t forget the lessons I learned from our first encounter, much the same way I learned from my shoulder injury how to compensate enough to win my second National Championship. Jared you had your run at history, now at your expense it is my turn.
(FADEIN to the apartment of Jared Wells who hasn't been there in months. All over the place is trashed and Crazy Mexican Chavez and his belongings are gone. Furniture turned over, walls spray painted in spanish, and there is nothing in the frig, not even a beer. He reads a note that says "PLAY THE TV", so he walks over and watches it. Steve Johnson Promo then JW responds)
JARED WELLS: Look at this mother (BLEEP). Ohio State my ass. Four years of community college and playing naked beer pong just doesn't cut it with me. You sit there and talk about Tom Brady, talk about your goals. What about my goals? Smashing a penis pump over your face in front of millions can be fun. But I won't worry about my lumber number. Being the greatest B.A.D World Champion ever takes it toll. Yeah,
What remains the same JOHN-STTTON? You ramble on about Ohio State which has nothing to do with what we are talking about. Listening to you makes me wanna either run through a cornfield naked or enroll in Ohio State to ruin my life.
STEVIE, your just like the rest. There is a reason I'm the BAD World Champion, there is a reason why I've been champion the past two years. Mikey Manson still thinks he's good. Britney Spears is married to a bum. Steve Johnson goes to Ohio State and got an STD. Me, I'm still rollin the way I do. The greatest B.A.D (BLEEP) champion there ever was. I'm everything people like you hate.
STEVE JOHNSON: "One year ago, there was another chapter in history made. Four men entered into one of the bloodiest battles the WFW had ever seen. Those men were warriors, engaged in a contest where only the bloodiest would prevail. It was that night that one of wrestling’s greatest, a three time WWL champion conquered three men destined to be footnotes in the most dominant run of a champion"
JARED WELLS: One year ago, there was another chapter in history made. Four women entered into my bed, and saw the greatest sex ever. It was that night that one of the four got to come three times. Dominant run, dominant man, no condoms needed. Spare me the bull(BLEEP)....
Your legacy? The only thing people will remember you is the fact that your a male and you have to sit down to pee. Me? I'm just the craziest (BLEEP) you've ever met. I've had my run in history? I've made some history, but yet to imprint it. My man, your not even a scratch on my nuts. Proven the fact you've done nothing around here it is my job to make sure you kids have your little three minutes of fame until the next Jared Wells whore comes around.
I swear you start your Ohio bull(BLEEP) again my penis will go soft.
Superbowl Of Wrestling! This is where it all happens and I'm stuck facing your stupid ass. I should be treated better than this. That's why I must make my move before its too late. Don't worry John-STON, I'll put you out of your misery before I do some serious damage that night.
You wanna be the big college kid hero? You wanna be the B.A.D world champion? Sleepless nights may occur. But a victory of me and this belt would be murder.
Are you willing to go that far for something you don't deserve?
Be Happy kid,
you'll have your three minutes come Superbowl Of Wrestling.....
(Fade into a cold snowy Boston in front of the Old North Church. Steve Johnson stands in front of the church wearing a heavy black North Face Jacket, blue jeans, and a black WFW skull cap with the letters in red. He is wearing gloves as he stands holding the railing in front of the church. His cheeks are slightly red as if he has been there awhile. )
Boston isn´t only home to the Bruins, Red Sox and Celtics, but it is also the birthplace of this great country. Here where so many patriots were willing to risk it all to make grand changes in their lives. Men like Sam Adams , John Hancock, John Adams, and Paul Revere all rode from this great state to free themselves from years of hardship.
Jared do you grasp the importance of this? Do you understand that while you are our pursing your orgies at some prom after party, no doubt creating some criminal history, that men sometimes passed those pleasures up to make history. You have had an oppurtunity as champion for the past year to take your title and make the world a better place, and instead you squandered that oppurtunity for “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.”
While you are out spreading your seed, you could have gone into your hometown of Baltimore and taken your fame to plant some seeds for betterment. The great Boston Patriots, and no, I dont mean the 85 team that got waxed by the Bears, but guys like Sam Adams who took their fame and tried freeing the country from great harm at the expense of their own lives. For you it could have occured during one of your beer run breaks. You sully this sport and all the community that pays to watch us.
Do you know why this Old North Church is important? Jared while you were busy peddling pot in grade school, did you ever take the time to learn while this was important? Jared, this is where Paul Revere started his ride to notify the rest of his brethern that the British were coming. See at that time, the Brits were coming with muskets to continue their reign of terror. Jared it took our forefathers 150 years to realize that their oppresors were wrong, for me, it only took one match to understand that what you stand for and represent in this federation is oppressive to anyone who stands within 10 feet of you.
That oppression is what spurred Paul Revere to ride well into the night. The signal that was sent to him, notifying him that it was time to ride, were two lanterns. See you could lot a learn from this, so I look at one of my beacons, as your old nemisis Jean Rabesque. Your battles are legendary, and while we train for the tag straps, which you didn’t have the balls to continue fighting for, he has also showed me ways to beat you. From his lessons, I hope to make you quit in this match, with a modified form of his figure four, called the Hardcore Figure Four. This will be the first you hear of it, I gurantee the next you hear of it, will be when I snap your knee. Though he won’t be fighting with me, his lessons provide me insight. Because while you screw and drink, I train and watch tape, and there is no better player in the game in that regard than Jean.
As for my second beacon, lets just say that we may not philosophically agree on much, except that he may dislike you more than I. When I train with him, he teaches me how he beat you so many times before. See he appreciates my desire to end your reign of terror, so in the world of revolutionary politics, he might as well be 1770s France. He will come down with me to ring side on that chilly night and make sure not only that I beat you, but that I BREAK YOU!.
Jared I still don’t only want to beat you, I want to make you quit, I want you have a broken spirt as well as leave without a title on that Cold January night. So my offer still stands, a hardcore I quit match, where the only way the match ends is with you tapping out after I find some creative way to stretch one of your already atrophyihng limbs. So Jared after I beat you with all those chairs, frying pans, and whatever other instrument of destruction you have had to use to beat guys like Thirteen or whatever other member of the Job Squad, I want to beat you on my terms. Pinning you won’t be enought, because any one can with a fluke pin, after all that is how you beat me. Only after you have tapped out though, will my win be undisputed.
I aim to make history Jared, and while you spend time laughing at what I say, remember that every time you laugh and chug a beer, I am doing curls and watching tape. Boston was home of the revolution, and at Super Bowl your reign of dominance will come to an end as an unexpected upstart takes not only what you hold most valuable, but also your dignity.
(Fade out as the camera pans to the two lanterns that go on and Steve Johnson walking into the dark night. )
(FADEIN to the apartment of Jared Wells as still a dirty mess with empty beer cans, cigs all over the place. Jared walks out of his room just in his boxer shorts, messed up hair, looking like he'd been up all night long. He starts scratching his ass, and sits down to stare around. Down on the table is a Ohio State Student Book with details on how to join)[/i]
JARED WELLS: What the (BLEEP)? Ohio State? Hm, maybe I should really reconsider.
First year student statistics at Ohio State?
88% In-state students
12% Out-of-state students
0% Part-time students
2% She-Males (look under Steve Johnson)
Well isn't that something I would have never known. Now why would a She-Male want to be the B.A.D World Champion? Weird man. Well since our friend Penis Johnson wants to blabber on about some (BLEEP) about various sports instead of our match and his life on hold, uncle Jared is gonna read the FAQS to how to apply to Ohio State.
Q: First question, "How much time should I give my teachers to write letters of recommendation for me?"
A: JARED WELLS Depends, how much head you give really. I mean teachers should always receive a minimum of two weeks notice prior to postmark date. You don't put IN? You don't get IN!
Q: How many times should I take the SAT tests?
A: JARED WELLS: As many times as you've gotten laid. ZERO. Statistics show that Ohio State alumni tell people they've gotten some but we all know its the biggest University without the 'ol VD.
Q: My parents don't make a lot of money -- will colleges hold this against me?
A: JARED WELLS: Yes they will. But you must push Mrs Johnson into banging the admission policy. Then again, if Mrs Johnson wasn't sleeping around with various men, we wouldn't be talking right now. LAST QUESTION (BLEEP)!
Q: I want to send additional material that I think will support my application? Is this OK?
A: JARED WELLS: Nope because if your filling out your application you will get in no matter what. If your walking with a penis or vagina you will get in. If not, hit yourself on the head because you are a retard.
You still don't get it do you Stevie? I quit match? Ok sure. Eh, are you sure your tall enough to get on this ride? You must actually be crazy, and and have somewhat of a background to do that with me. As far as I'm concerned you have nothing.
Did I just hear Steve Johnson say I BREAK YOU?
(Jared's face try's to get serious and do an impersonation of Drago from Rocky IV)
....I MUUUST BREADKE YOU....
Save me the bull(BLEEP). Do what you gotta do kid to prepare yourself. Playing some football with dad, maybe even playing strip beer pong with your fellow brothers with no P(BLEEP)Y around. I don't know dude. Just do something because your act is bad. I'm really trying to help you out. You seem like a smart guy, be a teacher or something. Your giving me a speech of history, the past, but you've yet to actually talk or do something about the present or future.
'Ol Dirty Jared comes in play. I've busted my ass for well over a decade, I've been the WWL World Champion three times, I've been the B.A.D Champion since spring 2004 and a prick named Steve Johnson is coming to beat me? (LAUGHS) What a joke.
Superbowl Of Wrestling I should be in the main event.....I should be getting a WFW World Title shot. But time will come that night. Don't you worry about a thing Penis Johnson, I might just let you live.
(FADEIN to Jared Wells laying back on a couch wearing the usual jeans, sleeveless black tee 'BASTARD SON', the BAD World Title resting over his lap and a beer in his hand which appears to have had a few beers. The table is covered with empty beer bottles)
JARED WELLS: Superbowl Of Wrestling. Biggest show of the (BLEEP) year and I'm stuck facing some (BLEEP). Straight from it, where is Maelstrom? That should be my platter. WELLS versus MAELSTROM II. But oh no, Maelstrom quit, Dan Ryan sucks, and Lindsay Troy has fifteen kids. And who was that fourth member? Who cares. Boy how times have changed in a year.
Steve Johnson. Are you (BLEEP) serious man? Is the way the WFW wants to conduct business? By giving some unnamed opponent a shot at my title? Apollo Creed verses Rocky Balboa. Only problem is there have been way to many Rocky's and way to many (BLEEP) in the WFW. I'm sick and tired of dealing with never was (BLEEP). Steve Johnson I'm willing to give you a shot but your the last of the breed the WFW is trying to create. The breed of rookie (BLEEP). Superbowl Of Wrestling you get your chance to do something. Something bigger than any other night of your life. Bigger than you riding your first bike, bigger than sticking your (BLEEP) in some (BLEEP) (BLEEP).
I've been busting my ass for nearly two years around here in the WFW. How long have I've held the B.A.D World Title? Since spring 2004.
Manson claims to be the greatest but yet we all know he's avoided me since day one. Captain Crunch he is, champion? NO. A (BLEEP) he is. Sooner or later he's just gonna get (BLEEP) up!
Christ Copycat is still alive? 2006 I still can't believe he walks around with a name like that. Let me guess? He's still (BLEEP) about respect? Still (BLEEP) about being the smartest player in chess. But you gotta give a baby something so he'll stop crying. A diaper, blanket, a breast? Give the mother (BLEEP) something to shut him up. But I've been saying this since 1997 and he'll keep complaining.
The Presidential race. How come I'm not in it? Well I honestly wanted to put my name in the hat but how boring would that be? Captain Crunch Manson is in of course. (BLEEP) gay (BLEEP) Beau Michaels! Here is my promise, whoever is the president at the very end.....I'm gonna slap the (BLEEP) outta them! Bet that!
Why is Shawn Hart still around? Same with Scotty Michaels! Here today and gone tomorrow. They don't get their way, they will take their check and go cash it in at some liquor store and spend it on crack.
Joey Melton is overrated. Cameron Cruise sucks. Rabesque still really says he needs no gimmick needed but really his lifestyle and his hair is a gimmick.
Larry Tact getting a title shot for what? One night of work? (BLEEP) my (BLEEP). There is your title shot compared to me.
What else do I need to say? Johnson I'm sorry your young, and the WFW is dumb. It's not your fault because people with a suit and tie will push you for something you don't deserve. I'm not the happiest person in the world right now and Superbowl Of Wrestling.......since I didn't get my dream match I will make you a sacrifice. Disgruntled? Nah, I'm just looking for answers and you just happen to be right in my way. No hard feelings kid, I'm just gonna (BLEEP) you up!!!
As far as LOVE goes........
I think we all know what happened here. Who did what and who couldn't get anything. Enough Said.
(Camera zooms slowly into Jared's face, he takes a swig of the bottle and throws it then storms off)
(Cut to Steve Johnson standing in front of the WFW backdrop. He is in his wrestling trunks and a black WFW t-shirt. He has a stern look in his eye.)
Bullies, frat boys, punks, or Jared Wells if I want to be a dick about it. Ever since I have been anywhere, there always was some guy like you Jared, who had no goal other than tormenting people who are below them. Guys like you walked around giving wedgies, getting women drunk, and peer pressuring young kids into taking drugs.
Why would you resort to calling dick and fart jokes to get over with someone whose “supposedly” not in your league. But I guess you weren’t in your league when you laid down for Sean Edmunds? Where was your heart then? You have been wrestling for 10 years, but what good ary up see you e all those accolades if you were willing to lay down a prestigious honor which made you the best of the best, for someone like Sean Edmunds? He ended up beating you all three times for that belt? He was not only better, but at least his degenerate ass had heart.
I AM NOT like every curtain jerker you have faced in your past year and a half. Because although you made history by your year and a half streak, in 3 seconds, I to can make a mark bigger than what you have ever accomplished, by being the youngest champion ever.
This BAD Championship means a lot to me, but nothing means more to me than Ohio State University. You can trash me, but leave my school, my god, and my momma out of our match. I spent a lot of time learning how to become a man and wrestler at Ohio State. I love OSU for the tradition; it is because of OSU that I learned to be a wrestler but more importantly a man. Their traditions were grounded in respect and integrity, two things you know nothing about. As I see you cut promo after promo, you baffle me at how much time you spend sullying the responsibility of a champion. The only thing worse than your promo’s are the few fan signs that show their support of you. You don’t respect the fans you have, and you hate the ones you do. While you forget them, I hope you remember that the ones you see on the way up are the ones you see you on the way down, and while you saw me on my back for 3 seconds in Disney, I plan on you never getting off yours.
Now with all the smack you have been talking most fans may begin to get caught up in your hype. People including the front office here are starting to believe in you again, but I won’t let them give you the upper hand, I have a plan. I will be executing what may be the biggest coup on the entire card when my plan unfolds. See I have been trying to perfect ways of making you tap out with Jean, like he has done to you before. With my manager for the night, I am just following his blue print to success. See while you spout stats, and talk about history, I have brought two of the worst nightmares of your past, with your nightmare of the present to ensure that you no longer have a reign as champion.
Don’t worry Jared, I know I am not Manson or Maelstrom, but I promise you that after our match you can go hang out with them in revelry and share stories of what you used to be.
(He drops the microphone and stares into the camera as it fades out.)
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