I'm not actually a judge for this tournament, but I will post some EMPIRICAL CRITERIA, since that is what people seem to want, since I can only assume they have never been in one of these e-fed things and are unaware of how judging actually works.
So....
+5 points if your promo is written entirely in an obscure poetic format, like amphibracs. Cause "Famous Blue Raincoat" is the best song ever, so logically, aping it's syllabic structure should lead to e-fedding success.
+3 points for topical sports references. When are they not awesome, I ask you?
-3 points for actually threatening to or claiming you will murder your opponent. That's not very nice. This is the sport of kings. +5, though, if you claim you will just shoot him in the ring with a gun and then pin him, because that shows good ring psychology
+1 point for references to your finisher with a stupid name that does not easily attach a 'the' for write-up purposes. Gotta get your character's awesome submission finish that bends the laws of physics over. +2 if you can ironically add a 'teh' for write-up purposes, cause Holzer loves the netspeak. -3, if the finisher is a Canadian Destroyer or Canadian Destroyer variant.
+5 if the promo is set in some crazy location like the moon or the ultraverse, or Ravenloft.
-2 if your character uses a non-traditional spelling of his first name like Shawon or Iayn, or t3h el1minat0r.
+1 if your character is a member of the Illuminati. Cause they rule the world
-10 for furries. Sorry Almasy
-1 for any promo that reads like the Wrestling Promo: The Novel. I like short fiction. I have subscriptions to several publications that provide me with short fiction. Yours better be better than theirs. Hint: It's not.
+2 for any references to heat, the business, the boys in the back...
You know, who am I kidding? I just vote for the dude I have heard of, or the Dan West character.