(FADE IN to Boogie Smallz in his hotel room, taking a few hits off of a bong. The room fills with smoke and Boogie looks into the camera, eyes red glassy and bloodshot, and begins to speak.)
BOOGIE SMALLZ: I’m tired of havin’ to fight thase Now-Or-Later wrestlers…talk about it NOW….hope you get it LATER. Erry damn fool I face thinks he’s gonna get over on me. Christian Sands thought he had my number…but no…he fell victim and became a two-time loser to Boogeezey. Ricky Gant thought he had me beat, than I flipped tha script on his punk ass! But that match stirred so much controversy, why ain’t I fightin’ him again? He’s waltzin’ around back actin’ like he won a moral victory over me…and I can’t be havin’ that! He went to a time-limit draw with me and now he’s actin’ like he’s king of tha kcufin’ world!
So since I won’t get to redeem myself with tha Runt, I guess I’ll have to make due with his girlfriend, Tommy Rage. You want to run around and call yourself tha Truth? Why is that? So you might have a few clever things to say in your promos? Like…you can’t handle tha Truth? Or what about…tha Truth hurts? (Shakes his head.) You’re a fake…which I guess means that your nickname should be tha Lie. You get signed up to a tag match with some bustas…and you guys get too scared to show up. You go through an elaborate plan to attack tham…and for what? To set up a tag match for tha next show? Maybe for a singles showdown against tham down tha road? Nah…you did it because you were scared. You did it because you were gonna lose tha match unless you pulled something out of your ass to save face. What better way to save face than to attack your opponents with chairs and not have a match?
So a chair attack automatically makes you tha number one contender to my title? So what’s a brotha’ got to do to get a World title shot? Tha championship committee obviously gives anyone that wants it…a TV title shot, so what qualifications do I have to meet to get a shot at Zero’s title? Attack someone with a chair and not have a match? Oh…I know, I can do what Christian Sands did…I could lose to Zero, than Zero could go on and defend his title again against someone, and than I can be his next opponent at tha pay per view, because although I didn’t have a match since that loss…I am automatically a number one contender. At least that how it seems to work around herre. Does that make sense to anyone at home? Because it doesn’t make any sense to me. Hell…I don’t even k now what I did to get a TV title match to win tha belt in tha first place.
So Rage, bring a few chairs, bring some of your boyz down to ringside, do what you gotta do to save face…because you will lose. You will fall victim to tha Power Bong. And tha whole world will get a dose of tha TRUTH. No, not you Rage…tha truth that you suck, tha truth that you don’t belong in this business, and tha truth that I am tha man that will take this industry to tha next level! Doubt it, swear up and down it won’t happen, but before it’s too late you better BELIEVE ‘DAT!
(FADE TO BLACK)
(OORP: Sorry for the late note, I have had a busy week. - Joe)