Slow And Listen

[Steve]

**Posting this to avoid never being on this type of card again**

(FADE-IN: Mark Windham, in black jeans a white BOY TROY t-shirt (circa 1998) and sandals, leans up against a wall in the basement of the Merritt Auditorium, the World Title strapped around his waist. Windham looks relaxed. If he dissected his actions in Anaheim, he obviously found peace over what he’s done. Windham arches deeper into the wall, closes his eyes briefly and exhales. Home is where the heart is.)

If these walls could talk... (Mark laughs) What would they say?

I’ve heard rumors Danny Boy from the voices, no not from my own head, but from forgotten corners of this great vehicle for Sports Entertainment. For 15 years now they’ve been telling stories to men and women bold enough to slow and listen. Our society trains us differently, does it not? Work fast enough and you don’t think about the end until the end is a second away. We’ve found so much to do with our lives that the meaning of life itself has regrettably been lost.

Slow and listen.

In Anaheim I did.

Danny, the world that’s now opened up to me...how glorious it has been.

I’m stuck dealing with the same, sad people...but I see right through them. I have something they don’t. Clarity. I can HEAR what’s been said, and now that I can I wonder how I made it this far in life being so deaf.

Yes I know I’m a strange picture of clarity. Look closer Danny, and you’ll see. Look around you. The men who are supposed to ‘take’ this (taps belt) away from me, the men who once chided Mark Windham over the emotions he was feeling, are now mudding their way through the same hell, as deaf and dumb as I was mere weeks ago.

Without naming names Danny because that would just be petty (Smiles) you have: Apathy, Addiction, Destruction, Repression, Self-Deprecation, and Salvation.

Summaries of once great men (rolls eyes) now deciding whether or not they’re capable of taking this from me.

Read the list again, Danny...every one used to be Mark Windham. But I was laughed at.

“Come on Mark, stop whining and DEAL.”

With the shoe on the other foot their conflictions suddenly warrant merit. Yeah....

So once again I present to you Mark Windham as, Clarity. Once again setting the tone for these men’s futures. Only some of those poor bastards won’t regain their hearing.

And what exactly have I heard?

That Dan Ryan himself wants this to be non-title.

That Dan Ryan himself wants to delay his ‘one shot’ for a more charitable time.

Well...I’m sorry that you’re a gutless coward. That one...is of your own doing I’m afraid.

Opportunity doesn’t play sides, Ryan. You have to have the balls to take it when the window slightly rests open. In a perfect world I wouldn’t have this belt, and Troy and I wouldn’t have unfinished business.

But we do. Our business though will be cleaned up whether I’m wearing this piece of gold or not. This is your shot. My full attention is on you.

The WORLD’s eyes now turn their lonely eyes to you. And what have you done to this point? You’ve pissed in your pants.

You have balls don’t you Danny?

When you find’em you’ll see Troy Windham isn’t in the ring with me at SHOWTIME. It’s you baby boy, and whatever courage you bring with you.

This is your chance not only to take the belt off me, but to avoid being another p*ssy walking these parts when it comes to wearing Gold.

Why...I’ve heard Tom Adler is already filling out paperwork to drop the United States Title. Because he’s terrified of what losing an in-ring decision would do to his career. A bad day might just give his opponent fodder to hold over his head for years. (smiles)

We see title defenses against dead US Presidents. I enjoy a good joke as much as the next guy, see GUNS, but there’s so much p*ssy around here Merritt ought to remake this into a Women’s League.

You got the shot Ryan. Show some backbone.

Nobody else will say it, so I will Dan.

I’m the savior of the CSWA.

For all the men who don’t want Gold...I do.

I’ve gotten used to it. It’s the one thing in my life that loves me back. When I go home at night this World Heavyweight Championship is there.

The early part of my career I toiled in denial over it’s worth, only to obsess over it from afar. I accepted second billing to create health in a friendship that no longer exists. I put myself in emotional chains. It’s a period of my life I’ll never be able to atone for. And that, Danny, is the real shame in what’s happening around us.

A second chance was given to me, deserved or not. Now that I’m seeing visibly, I enjoy being the Champ.

Will you? Or will you choose to wait?

(FTB)

 

[TWhitefield]

Gotta love ya, Mark... what you lack in ring skills you certainly make up for in your ability to spin issues that have already been addressed, like the United States title.

In any event, if you wanna talk about Mayfield, go right ahead. The only man so unapologetic for his utter lack of orignality that he'd opt to go right for the useless gimmick that every other Presidential Champion in history had enough perosnal pride to overt.

But, with respect to me? Mark, you haven't had a bad day against Tom Adler... you've had a bad career. So, the day you think you and your Oh and a Zillion record versus me have ANYTHING that you can hold over my head? Let me know.

-Adler

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Clarity? Or New Confusion?

"Who watches the watchers?"




----------
Fade into a basic scene.....

Dan Ryan sits alone in the early morning hours on the front porch swing of a large ranch house.......black tank top with the word "Zero" across the front......black warmup pants......

Orange light bathes the scene....

Ryan sips at a cup of coffee and allows a brief smile to cross his face.....

Ryan: "It's funny....you sit in the house that Merritt built and you ask....if those walls could talk what would they say?"

"My question to you, Mark...."

"Who gives enough of a damn to care to listen?"

"For all of the clarity in your head....all of the history you throw at us all......day in and day out...."

"For all of the time you spend attempting to look tortured...."

laugh...

"For all of time spent working through the trials life has put you through.....I find it odd that you would spend so much time.....waste so much time...."

"Speaking of rumors...."

"This is the part where I deny your assertions, right?....where I say...."

"How does it go, Mark? Ah yes...."

Ryan adopts a mock angry face....

"You think I don't have the balls to face you?! Goddammit! I'll show you!"

And back to normal....

"Tsk tsk...."

"Thanks for the textbook attempt to fire me up, Marky...but hey...."

"I never was very good at following the script. Mark...."

"You see....the script reads....Mark Windham..." (Ryan holds up fingers in a 'quote' manner) "...'LOSES HIS MIND AT PRIMETIME'......"

"That of course set up your little inevitable confrontation with Troy at Anniversary. Anyone who doesn't see that is collossally stupid.....then of course.....Mark gets....his warmup match...."

"That's me, right?"

"Sorry, but one thing I've never been....is collossally stupid...."

"You see...I've heard some rumors of my own."

"Eli Flair never had a chance to win the World Title at Primetime....there were enough checks and balances in effect to make that true enough...."

"The other rumor?"

"The deck is stacked against me in this match, Mark....or didn't you know?"

"But rumor isn't always truth, Mark..."

"And just as you waste your time on baseless rumor....some may waste their time taking my observations and twisting them into assuming I'm not ready for what stands in front of me...."

"Well...."

Ryan cocks his head momentarily, raising an eyebrow....

"I write my own script."

"I don't play by their rules or yours."

"If you wanna slump your ass in front of every run down building in town to get across this new....or rather....this latest personality quirk you've developed....you go right ahead...."

"Drown your words in as many big words and complex sentence structures as you need to...to make yourself seem deep."

"When I look at you....I don't see depth.....I don't see clarity....and I don't see a man who has overcome demons to find peace...."

"I see weakness."

"You find yourself in a position to listen, do you? Listen now..."

"What you choose to believe....becomes your reality...."

"If you choose this path, I sure as hell don't give enough of a rat's ass to stop you. If you want me to look upon you and fear you....if you want me to look upon you and admire you....if you want me to look upon you and doubt myself?....."

"As in the pursuit of rumor....you waste your time."

"Unfortunately, I will not allow you to waste mine."

"You speak of every depressive affliction inflicted on every depressed and dysfunctional human being since the beginning of time and speak of them as though you revolutionalized suffering."

"Allow me....with this....to join the club...."

"Mark....stop whining and DEAL."

"I assure you....for all the credit you'd like to take in everything you see...one thing you have no control over...is me."

"I allowed myself to be made weak once before....never again."

"Rest assured, Windham....this isn't my 'one shot'...."

"It is simply my most recent."

"My ego doesn't rest on the weekly consequence of each match I wrestle....it does not hinge upon every word you or anyone else could ever say....because a long time ago....when disaster faced me...when everything I gave a damn about ended in the blink of an eye...."

"I stopped whining......and I DEALT"

"Tell me, Mark....how will you deal with your newest challenge?"

"What....WILL...you do?"

"I'll tell you what you'll do..."

"You'll go into Anniversary and fulfill your destiny alongside your brother.....you'll follow the script to a 'T'...."

"With one small rewrite...."

"You'll go in without your belt...."

"Your story will go on....but it will go on without what you suddenly hold so dear."

"If you're the savior of the CSWA.....just call me Barabbas...."

"If you start cutting promos after Primetime with pierced hands....maybe then we'll all look at you with the same reverence that only you see in yourself...."

"I'm not interested in what you've toiled over. I don't care about your emotional baggage and I don't care about friendships long since lost....I don't care if you wake up tomorrow and decide to save us all or if you jump out of bed and decide to drag Troy out of his house, join the circus as the flying Windham brothers and tour the country....."

"I don't care about ANY of it...."

"It's all about what I want.....I write my own destiny, Mark...."

"How will you deal with that?"

F 2 static

 

[Steve]

Personal Jesus

(FADEIN: Mark Windham, worn jeans, weathered hair, and a Gray T-shirt that reads: Mark Saves, sits inside a ring in the Merritt Auditorium.)

"So...I need to play the part of Christ to pass myself off as more than a faithful personality quirk?"

“Danny when I said I was the savior of the CSWA the meaning was simply ‘I know who signs my checks.’ Perhaps that’s a reason why no script gets rewritten without authorization from me.”

“You had your chance to write your own material, and the best you had was becoming a bore. Flair calls himself the Original Nobody, but really Danny...the CSWA should’ve paid him for the merchandising rights.”

“CSWA Year 14: 100 Men Who Want To Tear It Down Brick By Brick.”

“The Invasion. That was beautifully done. Signed to a contract by Merritt to feign a wrestling coup. We’re a company of apathetic men who either can’t get motivated to bust ass, or aim to mock destroy the man who affords them the right to send back a perfectly well-done steak, because it’s in poor taste to admit it was done correct the first go around.”

“I won’t deny the CSWA has hit some rough times, but attempting to make your name off putting a public access wrestling show over, well...Dan that’s just weak.”

“I know. I know...you made a mistake. You allowed yourself to become weak. It won’t happen again.”

“A few drinks every night and your past lack of total creativity is all but forgotten. Your Dan Ryan, the man who once got his own shadow to submit.”

“I’m the savior in the sense that I don’t make bones about willingly working here. You’ve got blood on your hands, Ryan...how can you truly atone for being a Nobody? How can you honestly appeal to the people and carry the CSWA to former glory when they’re living in constant fear that tomorrow you’ll be wrestling a bear, and having a blind man bill it as something that’s never been seen before?”

“I see now. And it’s because you provided me even more clarity.”

“You can...THROUGH ME.”

“This is less about me being taken seriously, than it is saving your past efforts.”

“I see now, Dan Ryan...I’m the CSWA’s Personal Jesus.”

“I’ll leave Randalls to worry about your soul, I’m after your career. But, do I really care? You haven’t impressed me yet, Ryan...you haven’t shown me you’re really sorry for the creative crimes you’ve committed.”

“Until you have...as your Personal Jesus I’M IN CONTROL.”

“I saw your revisions, and while they were inspired, to me, they don’t make sense.”

“So again I say...”

“Slow.”

“And.”

“Listen.”

“As your Personal Jesus...MY rumors are truth. Your reality is what I make it to be.”

“Free will can be altered, corrupted, and tamed until you’ve repented and proven you’ve grown enough to handle making decisions on your own.”

“Tossing bit players over the top rope doesn’t make it for me, I’m sorry.”

“I'm the writer, these scripts are made to fit me. It’s obvious I’m not loved in this company and rather than create a new quirk, I hold onto this title for assurance. Maybe that’s my weakness, Dan. Loving the fruits of my labor, a little too much.”

“You better start giving me some respect, if you don’t I’ll only make your suffering a hundred times worse than Troy’s. An idle threat? Don’t challenge me Ryan, as your Personal Jesus I wield powers far beyond your ability to believe.”

“I know every grain of sand in the ocean and every hair on
your head. I know this because what I say...is truth."

"You're whole existence now is to see how you deal with me. I dealt by saying yes to your career birth, by agreeing to Ryan getting a shot."

“I’ve loved you...even before you held me in contempt.”

"I said yes to my own suffering, and it’s by talking about it, seeing if you're ready to listen that I decide how much you get to suffer too."

“What happens at SHOWTIME has already turned to stone. (looks at script) You’ll fight in vein to change it, to prove you’re a man who walks alone.”

“(Mock voice) Dan Ryan is in control.”

“No Dan you’re not. You’re not a warm up. Your shot hasn’t been looked over. It’s a test. If you pass, I’ll allow you some lee-way in deciding for yourself what’s best.”

(FTB)

 

[DBrunkGXW]

"Constant as the morning star, predictable as the setting sun, set in his ways....he watches as the world passes him by...."



--------
Fade in...

Dan Ryan sitting silently on the apron of an empty ring....white muscle shirt....blue jeans....brown colored working boots.....

The ring lining has the initials of a wrestling company on the side of it....but we cannot make out which one....

Ryan pulls off his sunglasses and sets them on the apron beside him.....

Ryan: "Coudn't help yourself, could you Mark?"

deep knowing smile...

"Plan A.....use the ol' challenging the manhood trick...."

"That didn't quite work....strike one...."

"Plan B......challenge my past...."

hearty laugh....

"Maybe during the time you spent in your self indulgent Windham family haze you should have taken the time to pay attention to what goes on around you..."

"It's been done, Mark...."

"You want me to defend the 'invasion'?"

"I'm not interested."

"You want me to defend GXW?"

"Not a chance...."

"You want me to explain to you the inner workings of an 'angle' I had no part in orchestrating?"

"Grow up."

"I expected much more than these elementary tactics...much much more...."

"But what I get is 'you're a coward' and 'my fed is better than yours'...."

"I was asked to take part in that ridiculous invasion...and you wanna know somethin', Mark?"

"I said no."

"What's the point?"

"But when Evan Aho.....the almighty then-CSWA World champion was dangled as bait....hell Mark....I had nothing to lose."

"At that point I was GXW World Champion with a year long reign under my belt.....What did I have to lose?"

"No one places GXW on the same pedestal as this place and everyone knows that...."

"It was a win-win situation....and once I accomplished my stated goal....I had no further interest in wasting my time trying to drag people along in their fruitless attempts to get notoriety. In case you haven't caught on yet.....I work for myself and no one else."

"If you had spent even the bare minimum of time expected in preparation for this match....you would know all of these things..."

"But then...as my personal Jesus....you should have known already....."

"Right?"

Smile....

"You're the weakest of the weak, Mark..."

"You lack any real sense of inner strength, and you don't even have the vision to see it...."

"You try and project personality traits on me such as fear that tomorrow if I lose....that I may have to wrestle in some bingo hall if it all falls apart...."

"You make such ignorant statements, not because it bears any resemblance to truth....but because you have nothing to fall back on...."

"And when a man has no other recourse....he reaches for straws. More often than not....he brings to light his own fears..."

"It's taken you fourteen years to realize that you want what you now have....fourteen years to realize that when it's all said and done....if you're in this business, and if you're in this company.....the one thing you possess is the only thing you ever really wanted in the first place...."

"Fourteen years for clarity...."

"It took me one, Mark."

"I know who I am...I had to mental capacity to weather the storms without blinking."

"You're an empty shell...."

"An empty shell of an image of a man who started something great......who wants to finally make things right by exorcising his demons publically and finally...."

"I'll waste no more times on your delusions of grandeur..."

"Take my previous sarcasm on your created myth of self-deity however you choose....."

"Develop a new catchphrase out of it and sell a few t-shirts if you like."

"Because the truth is....what you're willing to allow is irrelevant..."

"You may control many things....you may have influence in many places....but you'll never......"

"...EVER....."

"Have control over me...."

"Whether or not it starts at Showtime....it will start soon...."

"Evolution can be slowed.....but not stopped...."

"You want respect?"

"Go (bleep) yourself...."

"You've got less than a week, Mark...."

"Then we'll see who does the suffering...."

"Oh....and Mark?.......STRIKE TWO....."

fade to static...

 

[EastPrez]

(FADEIN: To MERRITTS broken-into Skybox Suite - trashed to high hell. We see 'Hot Property' EDDIE MAYFIELD, lounging on the leather couch, shoes off, working the control pad of an XBOX, playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic on the Plasma Screen. The PRESIDENTIAL title is hanging off the side of the screen.)

MAYFIELD: "Hey Tom, if pausing for canned heat while you stick a piece of f(BLEEEEEEEP!) chewing gum in your dirty yap is an original gimmick, man, you got me. I might as well hang it up. Because I was SO awake and caring when you had this belt and lit the world aflame with your 1992 workrate. (Lets out a yawn)

Well you know what, Tom? If you got anything else to say about me, I think you need to make an appointment - and MAYBE I can fit your boring ass in to my PRESIDENTIAL day-runner.

Until then, keep my name out of your f(BLEEEEEP!) mouth.

Good night... (Smirks) and God Bless."

(FADE)

 

[TWhitefield]

(Adler catches Mayfield's comments and snickers a bit)

Ya know, Eddie, if all I cared about was having people come out and chant "Jack Ass" in unison every time I walk through the curtain, I'd actually agree with you.

If I cared whether or not people chant "Boring" during my matches, I'd agree with you.

Unfortunately, I don't. You call my style boring? Maybe. I call it successful.

Successful enough to beat every person thrown at me for a year.

Successful enough to not need six chances to beat a second rate tag team for a title.

And successful enough to beat your partner.

And, while we're at it? Successful enough to REMAIN higher up on the friggin food chain around here than you've been since the day you arrived.

When that changes? I'll consider making an appointment to discuss succession to something I never lost.

-Adler

 

[Steve]

Old Life Be Gone

“You said no...until....”

“Danny, I don’t want you to explain the invasion...I would never ask more than you’re able to give. I do, however, want you to repent.”

“You’re expectations have kept you in the dark. That’s why I’m the World Champion and you’re being written out of the main show.”

“You’re looking for deep, profound answers when I’ve been trying to tow you into the light. Sometimes Ryan, the truth is elementary, and as a tactic it’s all that works.”

“I created you Dan Ryan, therefore I know everything there is to know. I know, despite what you want to believe you’re not master of your fate. You’ve never guarded destiny in your own hands.”

“Silently, you’ve had a need to be controlled.”

“You were played by your own desires to find something more powerful, more knowing than you are.”

“The search is over, Dan. I’m here...and very unappreciative of your latest bit of sarcasm despite it’s legitimacy.”

“As you’ve shown, we create our own Gods then defy them when they've 'done' us wrong.”

“That's why I can't trust anything you say.”

“You don't know what you want, but I do.”

“You can't wipe me away dismissively because this time...you're serious.”

“At root...you need me. And what type of Personal Jesus would I be if I didn't come through?”

“So what is it Danny? Do you control your own destiny or are you the same poor sap who was 'led' into supporting public access wrestling?”

“As your Personal Jesus, I know the answer, and though it may not go down easy swallowed with your ego, it's the TRUTH.”

“Subconsciously you've been ready for a while now to give over total control.”

“And I've taken it. At SHOWTIME I'll lead you all the way around the ring, and into the biggest beating you've ever had in your career.”

“Stripped of self-ish pride, embarrassed because I think it's fun, you'll bleed Danny, until your breaking point mercifully comes.”

“You see, you've missed the point. I'm not trying to make you fear me, or get under your skin. I'm simply telling you the score because I want you to be the best puppet you can be.”

“That's what you are, Danny. You're a fool on a series of strings, and at SHOWTIME because you couldn't handle making your own decisions, because you showed contempt for me without reason, I'm going to play you so well it hurts...I'll pull your cords softly until you say "’Mark I give in."

"’Mark forgive me, you know what's best for me, release me from these unrealistic expectations, that continue to hinder me so.’"

“At the end of the night you'll be born again, Ryan...beaten, a shell of your former self, and the good thing is? That's when you can really begin to find your inner strength.”

“You're a Nobody now, but after your Personal Jesus gets done, the clay on your soul will be fresh, willingly to be made into whatever you and I choose.”

“Because I was shunned and laughed at, because no one STILL accepts my agony as being real, you're going to suffer ten times worst than I did.”

“This personality quirk of mine was made by all of you.“

“Until you've suffered Danny, you'll be unable to grasp the sort of clarity I'm promising you.”

“SHOWTIME, I take your old life for fame and fun.”

 

[DBrunkGXW]

Mark at the bat

"As the sun sets on one, so surely does it rise on another. Mighty kingdoms one day fall, powerless to stop the ascension of the next...."




----------------
Fade in....

A wide angle shot shows the interior of a baseball stadium....

Signs visible to the camera indicate it as Minute Maid park....empty while the hometown Astros spend their week in Atlanta....

As the shot focuses in.....Dan Ryan is seated in a first row seat behind the home dugout....

An usher/security guard can be seen in the shot....a chaperone for the shoot.....

Ryan: "I wonder....."

"Is it simply your current modus operandi to speak in circles....or is that something that has been left over from Quirk '01?"

"I'd like to repent for you, Mark. Really...I would."

"The problem is that your read on me and my personality....how I react to you and to my circumstances....has fallen so ridiculously far off the mark I almost begin to pity you...."

"I say almost because to say I pity you would be to imply I plan some form of mercy....."

"That couldn't be further from the truth."

"Tell me Mark...."

"Since I am the puppet....so skillfully being led around by the master puppeteer...."

"Why is it that you have followed every lead I've given you....leapt at every morsel I've left out in front of you like an old Warner Bros. cartoon.....lunging for the proverbial carrot on a stick just out of your reach....."

"I know who I am.....know my role, to borrow a phrase...."

"Yet you go from side to side searching for an opening....searching for a new quirk....while unconvincingly attempting to play it off as control...."

Ryan shakes his head....

"You know...this image of deity that I gave you?"

"I'd like to buy into it....you know....for realsies...."

"I mean here you are....constantly repeating your mantra...."

" 'You're looking for answers' 'You're lost' 'Follow me and I will make you whole' "

"Still....I look to find a reason.....to believe....

"Mark..."

"I can't quite buy it, Mark..."

"The true pity in all of this is that you fail to see the only defining and everpresent truth in this entire situation..."

"Your 'suffering' is a joke..."

"You create....or in some cases....are given these quirks....and dare to call it suffering...."

"You set fires....air out family problems....and dare to call it suffering...."

"You insinuate that some sort of limited pain you may or may not be able to deal out in the wrestling ring.....can truly cause suffering."

"Do you know what that makes you, Mark?"

"It makes you a fool."

"Suffering has slapped me in the face without warning...."

"And I went on..."

"Whatever you think you're about to do at Showtime....win or lose...."

"I go on...."

"There is no desperation, only oppurtunity."

"If you had done some digging....you'd know that you waste your time with the 'public access' digs as well....and yet you persist...."

"But then we're all seeing that preparation hasn't been your strong point...."

"Fire off another one at me, Marky.....go ahead....."

"Wanna take shots at my family?"

"Maybe if I had been a better father there wouldn't have been so much regret when my daughter died...."

"Wanna try that one?"

"If you're in agony.....if any true suffering has ever dug into your soul and ripped it apart...."

"Tough s**t....."

"Tough s**t that my family's dead....."

"Tough s**t that your brother may or may not be an ungrateful prick...."

"Tragically, the true weakness you display comes not in the true or false nature of your suffering.....but in the foolish pursuit of making the rest of the world feel sorry for you...."

"Some of us face tragedy and come out the other side stronger for having experienced it...."

"And some of us face tragedy...suffering.....and lose all sense of reality...."

"You look at me and you see what could have been...."

"You see how I carry myself and wonder why your state of peace.......why your clarity.....could not have emerged ten years ago......."

"I wipe your arguments away dismissively because I can, Windham...."

"You'll obviously never know what it's like to be in control of your own destiny...."

"You'll never be able to understand the fact that controlling one's destiny may have absolutely nothing with tangible results in one's efforts.....and everything to do with being your own man and taking true responsibility for what becomes of your life...."

"You'll never understand me...."

"But that's fine, Mark. I don't give a damn if you understand me....and I'm not interested in teaching you...."

"What I'm interested in is pinning your shoulders to the mat for three seconds....nothing more....nothing less....."

"Whatever attempts you've made to sway me from that goal have failed and failed miserably...."

"Life goes on, Mark."

"For now....show me...."

"Show me your suffering...."

"Try your best...."

"Do your worst..."

"Make me BLEED...."

"Make certain you're ready to bleed as well......"

Ryan stands and begins to walk up the steps of the empty stadium.....

The scene fades to black.....and lettering appears on the screen.....

"And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
and now the air is shattered by the force of Windham's blow.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright.
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light.
And, somewhere men are laughing, and little children shout,

but there is no joy in Greensboro --
mighty Windham has struck out.

Fade to static.....

 

[Steve]

I'm Sorry

“You want me ready to bleed?”

“I should say f*ck you, but I can’t.”

“Christians once paid for spreading the Gospel by facing their moment of truth inside the Coliseum...souls were lost because people couldn’t believe in something higher than themselves.”

“I gave you the knowledge I found...and apparently I’ve struck out.”

“Sympathy’s not what I’m after, Ryan.”

“If I wanted anyone’s pity, I sure as hell wouldn’t be in a business where men can legally maim me.”

“...Be ready to bleed...”

“Ya know, Dan...”

“I haven’t stopped for thirty-five years.”

“What I’ve been searching for, however, is a way to heal.”

“I realized today...I’ve done you wrong.”

“Dan, I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry because only a fool projects himself in everyone he sees.”

“If God is dead...then its in Men that we must put our trust.”

“I’m incapable of dealing. I admit that, Dan. Look at my life. Whether you deem me to have suffered sufficiently or not, my life is a bloody mess.”

“Which is why I can’t say...f*ck off.”

“Because maybe...”

“...I’m wrong.”

“Maybe I don’t know you Danny, and I have no clarity at all...”

“...And my attempts to paint your profile were really...a cry for help. I’m the one who wants to be controlled. I’m the one who does horribly when left on his own.”

“If it’s in Men that we now trust Dan...”

“I need you.”

“Show me how you’ve dealt. Show me how you’ve been able to cut off your emotions and never let anyone affect you. You’ve suffered, yet been made a better man out of it.”

“Maybe I’m not your savior Ryan...”

“But maybe you’re mine.”

“I’ve gone about it all wrong. Cutting all human ties off, retreating to find strength within. I’m the Boy Who Cried Wolf, for years playing the Lost Soul, but only now when I’m truly empty...when my soul willingly bleeds to court the end, do I find all the while I’ve been a joke.”

“Its me then...who needs to give in.”

“I do so willingly Ryan.”

“At SHOWTIME take me for a puppet and play me back to a healthy place, where there was no fire, I still had loving parents, and Troy and I had a chance. Play me Ryan, please...I’ve tried to quiet my demons myself. And as usual, my demons took control.”

“Can I see you tonight?”

“I can’t wait. For maybe...when cut open and pouring out into your hands, I can find the freedom I’ve sacrificed so much of my life to find.”

“Or maybe...”

“You’re a piece of sh*t who needs to be taught it’s better to believe in something than cut yourself off from the entire world.”