(FADE IN to a dance studio in Detroit. A class is taking place with several hopeful dancers trying to keep up with the instructor. The entire class is doing a pitiful job, which prompts the teacher to halt the music and instructs the class to take a break. The camera moves to where the choreographer is and slowly moves up from his feet, starting with the baby blue leg warmers he has on, then the purple leotard, and finally settling on his face.
His blond gheri curl drips with preparation and activator, although some is soaked up due to the baby blue headband he has on. He grabs a towel from a nearby bench and dabs his face down with it. He flashes a smile to the camera and then does a handgun trigger motion with his white-sequence gloved hand and gives a wink. He motions the camera into his office.)
SHAMON: All my fans across the globe have been speculating on what the great Shamon is going to do next. Should I rekindle the feud I had with Shane Southern? Maybe try to take the World title from Aho again? No way…because I set the bar totally higher! What, you ask, could be greater than that? Membership. That’s right, I want to prove myself to Eddie and Craig, the Professionals, and earn my spot to stand next to them in the Intruders! I’ve fetched them coffee, rented them PS2 games, picked up their dry-cleaning, paid for extravagant meals, got us tickets to the Super Bowl, I have done anything and everything those guys have asked. And soon, very soon, I will become the next new member of the clique!
(Shamon kicks the air and lets out of “HEEEE HEEEE”. He grabs his crotch and starts jumping toward the camera, then does a spin move and releases his crotch.)
But before I stand side by side with my brothers the CSWA has decided to give me a squash match for an upcoming show in Richmond. Ya know, to try and get the public behind me EVEN MORE than they already are. They want the right kind of buildup leading into me becoming a member of the I’s. So they’ve put me up against a sorry excuse for a wrestler, a bum by the name of Jean Rabesque.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I a lot of people have benefited from just being in the ring with me. Do you think Evan Aho would be where he is today; had he not stepped into the ring with the Gloved One? Aho was a midcarder at best until I raised him up to the next level. What about what I did for Shane Southern’s career? Totally changed his direction. Before he faced me he was washed up, had no direction, he was simply collecting a check and getting by with life. That was until he got taught a wrestling lesson that he will never forget…and I beat him within an inch of his life. It toughened him up, made him better, and he wouldn’t be standing tall had I not given him mercy and let him walk away without his other knee in a sling!
Jean Rabesque, I cripple people for fun. Don’t become the next victim, get out of the match forfeit now…because once the bell rings…there is no turning back! (Tries to look intimidating, but instead looks ridiculous.) OWWWW! UHHHHH! OHHHHH! URGH! OWWWW! HEEEE! HEEEE! SHA-SHA-SHA-SHAMON!
(FADE TO BLACK)
His blond gheri curl drips with preparation and activator, although some is soaked up due to the baby blue headband he has on. He grabs a towel from a nearby bench and dabs his face down with it. He flashes a smile to the camera and then does a handgun trigger motion with his white-sequence gloved hand and gives a wink. He motions the camera into his office.)
SHAMON: All my fans across the globe have been speculating on what the great Shamon is going to do next. Should I rekindle the feud I had with Shane Southern? Maybe try to take the World title from Aho again? No way…because I set the bar totally higher! What, you ask, could be greater than that? Membership. That’s right, I want to prove myself to Eddie and Craig, the Professionals, and earn my spot to stand next to them in the Intruders! I’ve fetched them coffee, rented them PS2 games, picked up their dry-cleaning, paid for extravagant meals, got us tickets to the Super Bowl, I have done anything and everything those guys have asked. And soon, very soon, I will become the next new member of the clique!
(Shamon kicks the air and lets out of “HEEEE HEEEE”. He grabs his crotch and starts jumping toward the camera, then does a spin move and releases his crotch.)
But before I stand side by side with my brothers the CSWA has decided to give me a squash match for an upcoming show in Richmond. Ya know, to try and get the public behind me EVEN MORE than they already are. They want the right kind of buildup leading into me becoming a member of the I’s. So they’ve put me up against a sorry excuse for a wrestler, a bum by the name of Jean Rabesque.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I a lot of people have benefited from just being in the ring with me. Do you think Evan Aho would be where he is today; had he not stepped into the ring with the Gloved One? Aho was a midcarder at best until I raised him up to the next level. What about what I did for Shane Southern’s career? Totally changed his direction. Before he faced me he was washed up, had no direction, he was simply collecting a check and getting by with life. That was until he got taught a wrestling lesson that he will never forget…and I beat him within an inch of his life. It toughened him up, made him better, and he wouldn’t be standing tall had I not given him mercy and let him walk away without his other knee in a sling!
Jean Rabesque, I cripple people for fun. Don’t become the next victim, get out of the match forfeit now…because once the bell rings…there is no turning back! (Tries to look intimidating, but instead looks ridiculous.) OWWWW! UHHHHH! OHHHHH! URGH! OWWWW! HEEEE! HEEEE! SHA-SHA-SHA-SHAMON!
(FADE TO BLACK)