SEMIFINAL: Karl Brown vs. Mr. Entertainment

[TH]

The Dragon vs. The Most Entertaining Man in Oregon

Karl Brown beat:
Trevor Hawke
Steven Shane
Hida Yakamo

Mr. Entertainment beat:
Promo
Phenomenal Frankie Scott
WildStar

Deadline is Monday, February 20th at 11:59:59 PM, give or take a second.

 

[EpyonMarx]

[FADE IN. Mr Entertainment is standing in front of a TEAM backdrop, wearing a leather jacket, open, with a white t-shirt beneath it. He has his hands on his hips, and a serious look in his eyes]

ME: Instead o’ Bravestarr, I get some punk callin’ himself Black Scorpion comin’ out and trying his luck. I mean, if that angle didn’t have one of the worst payoffs in the history of this business, I dunno what did. So, Road Rage, thanks fer givin’ me something ta do… but, forget the mask next time ya’ll wanna come out an’ start something, k? Mmmkay.

Now. I was kinda hopin’ I’d get ta face the Fellacio Blunder in the semi finals, but looks like the Snoragon put him ta sleep with a long winded, tiresome monologue about how dull he is and how tiresome he is and how he can keep goin’ on and on and on and on and on with the same damn sentence fer two bloomin’ hours!

I’m gonna make this short an’ sweet, since I just know I’m gonna need all my energy ta stay awake when ya’ll start spoutin’ that mindless crap. No-one cares.

No… don’t… don’t even start.

ZIP IT!!

No-one cares.

All they care about is how badly I’m gonna beat your ass as the only New ERA superstar talented enough ta make it all the way through this tournament. Ya see, the dirt-sheets have said Danny Boy don’t need titles because he’s that big a name anyways – that’s the way with me. I’m so damn entertaining, I don’t need ta win this whole tournament. I don’t need the New ERA TV title. All they need ta get ratings is have me on the card. And ya’ll know, havin’ me in the grand-pappy of ‘em all, the tournament FINAL, is goin’ ta grab bigger ratings than all the Super-sloths combined. With you in the final? They’re gonna have ratings so bad, even brain-dead comatose folks’re gonna be reachin’ fer the damned remote. They don’t care about ‘the toughest opponent is yourself.’ They don’t give a damn about climbin’ hills, or burnin’ yer eyes out next ta fires, or sittin’ in trees, or watching the ducks fly into a powerline, or whatever the hell it is that presses yer ON button.

All they care about is being entertained. And there’s only one man in this tournament who can entertain them to the fullest stretch of human capacity. That man wasn’t Proppet, Frankensnoozer, or Tex “I’m so borin’ I fell asleep waiting fer my plane” Hex. That man ain’t you, Danny Roid, or Victor “Me big and scary – grr” Bollokov.

That man is ME.

Mister Entertainment.

[FADE OUT]

 

[EpyonMarx]

*bump*

And good luck to my opponent

 

[EpyonMarx]

[FADE IN. “The Dragon” is sitting on a river-bank on a clear winter’s day. The sun is shining, but he’s dressed against the cold wind that traditionally bites at this time of year]

Karl: And thus another wrestler who claimed to be unbeatable is left laying in the ditch as my path continues. Someone who claimed immortality and infallibility, someone who claimed that his progression through this tournament was inevitable, has joined twenty seven other people in the history books, whilst four of us remain to do battle and see who shall take home the trophy.

Some would look at the brackets and say that the winner of the Dan Ryan versus Viktor Molotov match will win the entire tournament. That those two would have been better placed to meet in the final after defeating James Irish and Beast respectively. People who are calling that match the final, however, are forgetting two talented wrestlers in the other match.

Yes, my opponent is talented in the ring. If he were to open his mind, and lose the attempts at being cocky and arrogant, he would be so much better.

Instead, he closes his mind already. He says that no-one cares about what I say. Looking back through two thousand and five, there have been several in the same position – and without fail, each and every one fell by the wayside, each with a piece of their shelter removed, hearing the laughter of the crowd directed at them. They were that insecure that they had to go around with their egos self-inflated. They told themselves they were the best so often, played the character so much, that they became deluded into thinking it was reality, rather than a mask.

But at least he’s honest enough with himself to use a stage-name to remind himself it’s a character he plays.

You say no-one cares – and maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m the only person who still believes in wrestling as a mental battle with yourself. If that’s the case, then so be it. It’s your problem, not mine. Because, despite your claims of aggrandisement, you’re right now at the same level as I am. We’re both semi-finalists in a tournament that has seen former World Champions defeated. We’re two of the final four in this invitational tournament, and that means we’re each as dangerous as Ryan and Molotov – or maybe more so, because we don’t have anything to lose. If you look back at predictions, you had Hida Yakamo and Beau Michaels as the two thought most likely to be in this match. If not Beau, then Promo. If not Hida, then Steven Shane. Certainly not us. In this tournament, we each have everything to win, and nothing to lose. For you, the prize is the fame and adoration you crave to stroke your ego – to go back to New ERA with and tout it around in your quest for acceptance. For me, I’ll have once again shown myself how far I’ve progressed, and how much further I have to go before I can’t physically push myself to a higher peak.

If that mentality makes me boring to you, so be it. If you need to cloak yourself in a shroud to try and hide your insecurities, so be it. When we meet in the ring, we’ll see which of us is truly the better, and which deserves to go on to face the winner of Ryan and Molotov’s match in the grand final.

[FADE OUT]

 

[EpyonMarx]

*bump* this board...

 

[EpyonMarx]

[FADE IN. A pitch-black screen. Slowly, something starts to burn – some letters start to appear. After a few more seconds, the words are legible]

Ego: an inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others
self: your consciousness of your own identity
(psychoanalysis) the conscious mind

[After a few more seconds, a frantic drumbeat kicks in, the screen bursting into full flame, as we see a familiar studio. On the stage are Finnish rockers Lordi, playing the song which didn’t get voted to appear in Finland’s Eurovision Song Contest entrance final, “Bringing Back The Balls To Rock.” Throughout the song, Lordi’s web address (www.lordi.org) stays in the bottom corner of the screen]

Attention class! - Here we come
We kick your ass - That's lesson one
I know you've been living in heresy
Correction's what you need

Less isn't more - less is less
The more, the better - the most, the best
You gotta turn up the amps past overload
Eardrums will explode

We are what we want to be
Monsters of rock, we are for real
Stand up for what you believe (and shout!)

Hail in the name of rock and roll
Hail in the name of rock and roll
Hail in the name of rock and roll
Bringing back the balls, bringing back the balls to rock

Breathing fire, spitting blood
Biting off the heads of bats and doves
Dragon boots and guillotines
That's what I want to see

We are what we want to be
Monsters of rock, we are for real
Stand up for what you believe (and shout!)

Hail in the name of rock and roll
Hail in the name of rock and roll
Hail in the name of rock and roll
Bringing back the balls, bringing back the balls to rock

Big drums, leather and chains
Loud guitars, grimace and flames
The two-finger signs
Raised fists up high

Hail in the name of rock and roll
Hail in the name of rock and roll
Hail in the name of rock and roll
Bringing back the balls, bringing back the balls to rock

Hail in the name of rock and roll
Hail in the name of rock and roll
Hail in the name of rock and roll
Bringing back the balls, bringing back the balls to rock

[As the song finishes, the crowd going wild, Mr Entertainment appears on the main-stage, applauding]

ME: Let’s give it up for LORDI!!

[The crowd goes WILD!! Well, wouldn’t you for a group of monsters who look like the could rip your throat out through a TV?]

ME: But one guy who doesn’t get any applause is the Snoragon. I mean, he didn’t say anything I didn’t already expect or plan fer. In short, he was DULL!

I mean, who the hell cares about whether it coulda been the Asian Blunder and the Phenomebore? Neither of those two LOSERS had what it takes ta get to tha semi’s. Neither did Snoozefest Steven Shane, Proppet, Trevor Gawk, or Beast-of-Bogner Regis. All the folks are gonna care about is how badly I beat your ass before I take on either Dan Roidan or Vodka breath. So please… SPARE US THE MINDLESS DRIVEL!!

Gods… how many of ya’ll had ta take some caffeine pills ta sit through his skit? I know I did – that’s how DULL he was.

[The crowd start to laugh, until Mr Entertainment raises a hand]

ME: BUT!! I did stay awake long enough ta catch this little pearl of wisdom from the Dragster.

[A screen rolls down, and starts playing part of “The Dragon’s” promo]

Karl: In this tournament, we each have everything to win, and nothing to lose. For you, the prize is the fame and adoration you crave to stroke your ego – to go back to New ERA with and tout it around in your quest for acceptance. For me, I’ll have once again shown myself how far I’ve progressed, and how much further I have to go before I can’t physically push myself to a higher peak.

[The screen rolls up again, as Mister Entertainment walks across the stage]

ME: So, let me get this straight… I get an ego-trip through this tournament, and you get some kinda mental satisfaction? Sure as hell sounds like you’re the one gettin’ an ego trip, pal. Yeah – I may be that much more entertainin’ than everyone else, but I don’t need ta win this whole shebang ta remind myself. I know it as soon as I look in the mirror in the mornin’. But you? You get ta know ‘how far I’ve progressed and how much further I still have ta go’ yadda yadda yadda. Am I the only person who’s noticed that that’s a damn ego trip? No wonder you went undefeated in one on one last year – if no-one you fought could see this, then they musta combined had the intelligence of half an amoeba.

You wanna stroke yer ego. You wanna win not so you know how good ya’ll are – but ta stroke yer damn ego. Be honest about it – it’s the ego that drives ya, ain’t it? All that philosophical claptrap is just fer show. Hey, at least I’m honest about bein’ tha best. I don’t hide behind some bullsh[expletive deleted] excuse like ya’ll seem to.

If that’s the best ya’ll can do, Dragrace – ya’ll ain’t gonna last two seconds in the ring with me. I ain’t here fer show. I ain’t here ta win the TEAM tournament – I’m here ta deliver. Buyrates, merchandise sales, whatever the front office wants. They know that when I’m on the card, they’re gonna get a show and a tonne o’ cash. Even against yer borin’, poser ass.

Because at the end of the day, it ain’t about you. It’s about the money. It’s about keepin’ people in jobs. It’s about getting’ this fine company up an’ runnin’ on a full-time basis.

It’s about ME.

Mister Entertainment.

[FADE OUT, as Lordi kick up “Blood Red Sandman”]

 

[EpyonMarx]

........to be honest I'm not actually sure why I'm bumping since I already know when my opponent posted, but it's the principle damnit! *bump*

 

[EpyonMarx]

[FADE IN. “The Dragon” is standing in front of a TEAM logo, dressed to wrestle. Despite appearances, he’s not wrestling for TEAM tonight – he’s making an independent appearance]

Karl: It’s strange. Out of all the opponents I’ve faced who claimed to be the greatest, that they were going to beat me within an inch of my life – or, as Lars Magellan said, actually kill me – you’re the one person who has done it in an almost unique manner.

Almost.

Yes, I suppose someone could see it as an ego-trip for me knowing how far I’ve come. There is a sense of satisfaction. However – the difference between you and I is that I won’t go around harping on about how I did in this tournament after it’s all said and done. People will be able to see where I finished – first, second, third or forth. Some of my future opponents may bring it up to try and use it against me, or the commentary team may use it to highlight my performances. However, when it’s all said and done, this tournament, and the honour it contains, is another part of my journey to the summit of my own abilities. Nothing more. If I make it to the finals, I’ll be able to test myself against one of the best in the business – if not, then I’ll know I have some ways to go before what the papers say about me being a legend in the making are true.

But you? I can see by the hesitation in your eyes that you aren’t as confident in your own abilities as you make out. I can hear in your voice a slight quiver – enough to give away your insecurities. And there’s no real need for you to feel that way. I’ve seen you in the ring, and you are a talent. I’ll gladly admit this match is going to be a challenge if you bring your best to the ring and forget the character you play. My worry for you though is that you’ve told yourself the lie so much that you’ve forgotten what the truth is – you believe your own hype. That’s your first mistake.

Yes, words are a powerful thing. Tell someone something often enough, and they will start to believe it. Tell a schoolchild they will never succeed, that they have no future, and they’ll end up giving up all hope. Sooner or later, they’ll believe they have no future, and will stop striving to better themselves. Tell a child they can succeed, that the only thing stopping them is themselves, and they’ll take the lead in the world. The same with wrestlers – tell a wrestler they’re a loser often enough, especially if they do lose more than they win, and they’ll start to believe it. If a wrestler lets himself believe he or she is a loser, that is what they’ll become. If they stop for a minute and think: “Hey – I’m going to win!” then sooner or later, they’re going to. They’re not going to let the defeats get to them, and they’re going to improve. In all walks of life, believe in yourself, and actively pushing back your boundaries, is the difference between those at the top, and those languishing at the bottom.

You’ve told yourself not that you’re the most entertaining man on the planet, but that you need that character to be somebody. I play no character. You focus your energy on maintaining the aura you have. Keep doing that, and there’s only one outcome likely in our contest. My hand raised in victory, with you laying on the canvas counting the aches and pains.

I’m going into this match one hundred per cent focused, as I do every match. If you keep focusing on your character rather than the match and your own abilities in the ring, you’re going to find out just how quickly and easily I will hurt you. My technique is becoming sharper and sharper by the day, and it’s technique, not entertainment value, that wins matches. It’s technique that causes your opponent to reach the limits of their physical endurance. It’s technique that pushes them that slight bit beyond those limits so they submit or pass out from the pain long enough to have their shoulders pinned to the canvas.

Bring you’re A-game. Bring your best, and leave the show to one side. That way, when our match is over, we’ll both know who the better man really is.

[FADE OUT]

 

[EpyonMarx]

[FADE IN. A dark, dirty, disgusting bar. The TV mounted on the wall has a layer of filth on it so thick it’s hard to make anything out on the screen, a low murmur all that it emits for sound. There is a pool table – but it looks like you would vomit as soon as you walked near it from the amount of crap on it. It was a blue cloth, but has become so mouldy that it’s turning a putrid green. Sitting over in the corner, on his own, the camera spots Mister Entertainment. Zooming in, we see he’s holding a bottle in one hand, and a sheet of paper in the other]

ME: Oh my ME. I thought someone who comes off as intelligent as Frown does that he’d’ve learnt by now that no-one cares about the crap he spouts off. Makes someone need a stiff drink ta deal with him. I mean, how else can I be expected ta sit through another long winded piece o’ crap from him? How much of a damned hypocrite can you be Snarl?

I’ve heard ya in the past go on about how ya placed in Natural Selection tournies. I’ve heard ya go on and on about how ya’ll beat Andrew Dalton and Christian Sands ta make a Worlds Title tournament final, an’ how ya’ll went ta sudden death against Maelstrom in another one. An’ ya’ll make some claim thatcha ain’t gonna go around harpin’ on about how great you placed in this little ol’ shindig?

BULL****!

Of course ya’ll’re gonna go on about it. Dress it up in as much philosophy as ya’ll want, you have one huge ego. It ain’t about a damned path or challenge for ya – it’s about the exact same things it is for everyone who sets foot in the ring. It’s about being the best. That’s the only claim I ever make. I am the most entertaining man in the business, FACT. Promoters’re ringing me all the time, leaving messages because they want me on the card because they know I bring business. New ERA sales are on the up-and-up, TEAM is getting some of the biggest ratings of any wrestlin’ show in the world, and all because I’m here.

Believe it – it’s true. I’m on the card, an’ that means all the egos in the back need ta step their game up ta be HALF as good as I am. Me an’ Proppet? One of the matches of the first round. Me an’ Snott? One of the matches of the second round. Outta twenty four matches, I had a third of the best six. An’ the rest of ya knew if ya’ll wanted ta make an impact, ya’ll needed ta step up and do more than collect yer cheques. That’s why I am the best. I bring out the best in everyone.

It ain’t me bein’ arrogant, or telling meself lies ta make meself feel better. It’s the truth. An’ what do I get? Some punk-ass tryin’ ta come off as someone better than the rest of us on a moral level.

When in reality all ya care about is yer own ego. Ya’ll love it when the refs hand hits the canvas fer the three. Ya’ll love the bright lights, the internet creamin’ itself about some new or dangerous move ya’ll’ve done. That superplex in NS last time? Had a HELLUVA lot o’ folks talkin’, didn’t it? That warm fuzzy feelin’ ya’ll got when ya heard? That’s yer ego. The one on yer face I ain’t even gonna comment on.

[He takes a long drink, then tosses the bottle over his shoulder]

ME: But no. Ya’ll gotta keep goin’ on with this mystique ya’ll’ve built up fer yourself, don’cha? Whatever floats yer boat pal. I’ll keep bein’ the most entertaining man on the planet, and you keep pretending ta be Arse-total. We’ll see who’s better when we square off. Until then, I know you got one of these [he flicks the sheet of paper with his free hand] too, so you get ta see fer yerself then why it ain’t gonna be you, Dan Ryan or Molotov winnin’ here in TEAM. It’s gonna be ME.

Mr Entertainment.

[FADE OUT]

 

[EpyonMarx]

[FADE IN. “The Dragon” is sitting in his lockerroom, the EPW Intercontinental Championship by his side, as he gets ready for action at an independent event]

Karl: Wrestling is a tough industry. Mentally and physically it can be exhausting. For all of the wrestlers you see on TV every week, there are thousands more world-wide who will never make it. And of those few who make it onto TV, there are even fewer who can take the stresses and strains of the industry in their stride and make it to the very top. Some can’t handle it.

And judging by Mr Entertainment’s love of sitting in dark bars with a bottle in his hand, it seems like he’s one of those. He talks a big game – but when the date draws closer, and the pressure starts to mount, he seems to take solace in drinking. Each to ones own I guess.

Why should he be like that? What pressure is he under? Are the management of New ERA breathing down his neck insisting he carries the weight of the company on his own in this tournament seeing as how no-one else is left? Having spoken to the president and vice over there, I don’t see them doing that. Are the New ERA wrestlers putting the pressure on him? Again, I know many of them, and I doubt they would do that. They are, in general, smart enough to know that since none of them competed, they can’t expect everything of one of their own. I also know that the TEAM board aren’t putting any pressure on people.

If all the people who could be putting pressure on him, there is only one likely candidate left. So, how is he putting so great a pressure on himself that he has to resort to drinking? Could it be he realises that the world he has built up around himself is so frail that he can already see the cracks appear? He has many of the qualities I saw in Eric Davis, and we all know what happened to him. Is the weight of believing yourself to be the biggest star, the building block, the cornerstone of an entire company or event, too great for Mr Entertainment’s shoulders?

In all likelihood, the pressure of calling yourself the greatest, knowing you’ve got to go out and prove it week in and week out, is the reason. He has faced some very tough opponents in his career, and, in an attempt to unsettle future opponents, has always claimed that he didn’t need the win, and that he was letting them get offence in to make it a better spectacle for the fans. That takes courage – to be able to hold your head up no matter what happened and do that, takes a lot of courage. But it also takes strength, and if you’re not prepared for the mental strain, it can take its toll.

That’s what’s happened, hasn’t it?

Maybe tonight will be a good warm-up for you. I’ve always found taking on wrestlers on independent circuit to be a good challenge – a wakeup call if you will. They have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. When people like us, those who have made it, come to town, they see it as an opportunity to make a name for themselves by claiming the head of a big-name. In one night, they can go from no-one to someone. That challenge drives them on, but it can also serve as a wake-up call for those who maybe don’t have their head in the game completely for whatever reason.

So, enjoy tonight. I’ll be watching from behind the curtain, getting an idea of what you can do. Tonight, here in this small sports-hall, we get to see what each other can do, and give the fans something to remember in seeing two up-and-comers in action against their local talent. Use tonight to get your head sorted, because if that’s how you act under the small amount of pressure you’ve exerted on yourself by being in the semi-finals, I would hate to think how badly you’ll take it when you find yourself out of the tournament.

[Karl stands, picking up his jacket and title belt, before walking past the camera. FADE OUT]

 

[EpyonMarx]

*bump*

In other news, I do not recommend promoing against yourself again if you get the chance, lol. Talk about mild case of split personality...

 

[EpyonMarx]

[FADE IN. We’re at a taping of an independent wrestling event. In the ring is EPW’s “The Dragon” taking on a local aerial wrestler. Our commentators for the evening are Sonya Di’Anno, and another EPW member brought in especially for the occasion, Leonard Johnson. We see the final few moments of the match]

LJ: And Brown with a victory roll there

TWO!

SD: Kickout by Higgenbottom there. Say what you like, but Michael’s done a great job keeping up with the more experienced Brown in this match.

LJ: You just know it’s not going to last. Higgenbottom up first, ducks under the clothesline from Brown, and he’s going for a crucifix.

SD: But Brown able to hold onto him! Is this going to be a Samoan Drop?

LJ: Brown shifting the weight of the smaller man, as he walks over to the corner. Climbing to the second rope as Higgenbottom still trying to topple Brown, but he’s leaning too far forward for that to work.

SD: On the second rope, with one foot on the top… SAMOAN DROP FROM THE TOP ROPE!

LJ: Haven’t seen on of those for a while.

SD: Karl isn’t going for the cover! Waiting for Higgenbottom…

LJ: Dragon’s Bite! This one, as they say, is over.

[sfx: *dingdingdingding*]

SD: Well, Leonard, it’s been great to have you here today, as Karl Brown celebrates in the ring. We’ll be back… wait a minute, someone’s rushing the ring!!

LJ: It’s Mister Entertainment!

SD: What’s he doing out here?

LJ: Spinning Brown around, and two quick right hands. Irish whip off the ropes, and Brown counters with a forearm!!

SD: Brown getting some revenge with hard right hands, but the referee’s there to break them up! These two will square off in a matter of days in the TEAM tournament semi finals but they’re already going at it!

LJ: The referee pulling Brown away, but Mr Entertainment with a flying clothesline! Picking Brown up, he pushes the referee away and sends Brown into the corner.

SD: Charging in

LJ: HE MISSES THE SPLASH!!

SD: BROWN TAKES HIM TO THE OUTSIDE WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!

[The two men fight on the outside, as Max and Jecht of Blitz come out to try and restrain the combatants. Max holds Brown back near the ring whilst the larger Jecht shields Mr Entertainment back towards the lockerroom. A closeup as Brown and Mr Entertainment shout at each other shows the entertainer actually smirking]

SD: Good thing Blitz were here, I don’t think any other two men here tonight could’ve stopped this. For Glorious Combat Zone, I’m Sonya Di’Anno, here with Leonard Johnson, I’ll see you next time.

[FADE OUT]




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OoC: This one was more for my own self-indulgence than anything else, lol.