(We are in a grade school geography class, this morning the teacher Miss Fitts is talking to her class about the U.S. State Capitals. The kids are fixed on her and all of them are sitting their with their hands up trying to answer her questions...)
Johnny: Is it Sacramento Miss Fitts?
MIss Fitts: Yes Johnny, now who can tell me the name of that big landmark in Texas that people stare at in amazement by the millions each year?
Billy: The Alamo?
Miss Fitts: Sorry, not quite...
Mary: Is it Arlington natiional cemetary?
Miss Fitts: Come on kids this isn't a hard question, can anybody tell me the name of the landmark in Texas that millions stare at each year...
(At this point a knock is heard on the door. In comes EUWC United States champion Samuel Roundtree comes strolling into the room.)
Miss Fitts: Uh kids, this man is a...
Samuel: Let me handle this one for ya babe. You kids can call me Mr. Roundtree, I am a professional wrestler. And the answer to this question is quite simply, the world's largest steaming pile of cow turds. But for you kids we will simply call it Texas Lightning's careeer. See kids, today we are going to talk a little history.
Back about 6 years ago, Texas Lightning was a big fish in a small pond called Limestone City Wrestling. Back there they claimed to be all about the talent and putting on exciting, innovative and creative wrestling on the planet. But unless you handed someone on the booking committee a "favour", you had to wrestle in ridiculous gimmick matches that shortened careers and more importantly shortened fan interest to the point where the company folded. The kicker to this little story is that no matter when you looked at a card, Texas Lightning always seemed to be in the title hunt somewhere. Interesting isn't it kids...
Now six years later, Texas Lightning has finally come back to the EUWC in search of a chance at more glory. A chance to give himself and the fans something to cheer about.
The problem here is that Texas Lightning or TL to his friends has got himself a shot at the EUWC United States championship on Main Frame this week and then again at Superiority this weekend. Now kids, do you know who holds that title?
Shelley: Hulk Hogan? Shawn Michaels? The Rock?
Samuel: WHAT?!? No wonder you're 16 and still in the 2nd grade...
You imbeciles, he has to wrestle me. And unlike the people he's wrestled in the past, I don't do politics. My talent and god given abililty is getting me up the EUWC ladder.
Texas Lightning, Texas Lightning, someone tell me which creative genius came up with that name?
Was Dakota thunder taken?
What about Omaha Monsoon?
I know, Wyoming Scattered Showers?
Miss Fitts: Um, Mr. Roundtree, all the kids are sleeping now...could you please leave?
Samuel: Sure thing sugar, I had to get to the airport anyway.
(As Samuel heads towards the door he turns back to look at the kids asleep at their desks.)
Samuel: Who knew after all these years, TL still put the people to sleep. Ain't that about a *****...and that's the point where we...
Fade to black
