Russian Roulette - Highland Park Social Club vs. Chronic Collizion vs. The Forsaken
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The Great Eye
I came to cut you up
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(FADEIN: The First standing in a dark room, a spotlight shines down on him, revealing him to be made up and dressed like The Joker. Rozy stands beside him, made up and dressed like Harley Quinn.)
THE FIRST: "Oh Madness...It's so much easier on a budget...(Smiles) can't get away with these outfits when you're serving sandwiches at the Front Street coffee house...But why such a silly outfit? I was thinking about it, thinking about life after my car broke down on the side of the road and I had to walk home, what if some car jumped a curb and ran me over...Then every life decision I'd have ever made would have led to that point, the ones pertaining to that car being the most important, I thought about how random and strange that is, how meaningless our 'life' in human form is...Then I thought about the comics and how Joker complained that one bad day is all that it took to make him what he is...Odd how that can be...
ROZY: "You tell 'em Mr. J."
THE FIRST: "Now life throws me another curveball, instead of crushing Joey Melton and his lap dog for the honor of being one half of the Tag Champions of EPW...I am faced with hunting two men who mockingly take the names of leaders of Rome...And to get to them, to fulfill my destiny...I must now go through 2 other teams...Dope and I have been sent to this ring to bring about this carnage...
The Social Club...Legends, heros...Oh the greatness, oh how the masses speak of them in only the most hushed of tones...Oh it is true there have been many things done in the past that require one pause and reflect upon excellence...But the future tells a far more grim fate...One of failure, one of agony...No, this day is not yours...
And our good friends Mr. Black and his pal Mr. Dalkichev...An escape artist...Escaping from what? Are you a mage? Am I expected to handcuff you and then be shocked when you escape? Or are you seeking to escape from the dull realities of your tiresome life? Do you seek freedom on a higher, more spirit-based realm? I don't know you, so I can not say, but I do assume you are merely just another warrior sent to fight in the arena, just another combatant to engage his opponents, to break bones and rend flesh...
Mr. Dalkichev...Why do you rage? is it that Russia is slipping back into the grip of tyranny? Or did you hate democracy from the start? What drives you Mr. Dalkichev, what is the source of your rage? Do you merely seek the tag titles as Dope and I do? If that is the case well then your rage will not be ended, since that quest ends here and now...You will fail, as you have no choice but to do so...I have no time for games, my fate must be met head on and you stand in it's way...Thusly, I must cast you aside...Dope and I shall give no quarter, pull no punch, show no mercy...Final victory must be obtained, and it shall be...Yes...Yes It shall...
Why are we so ruthless? Why are we so relentless?
Cause...
We are Forsaken...
(FADEOUT)
THE FIRST: "Oh Madness...It's so much easier on a budget...(Smiles) can't get away with these outfits when you're serving sandwiches at the Front Street coffee house...But why such a silly outfit? I was thinking about it, thinking about life after my car broke down on the side of the road and I had to walk home, what if some car jumped a curb and ran me over...Then every life decision I'd have ever made would have led to that point, the ones pertaining to that car being the most important, I thought about how random and strange that is, how meaningless our 'life' in human form is...Then I thought about the comics and how Joker complained that one bad day is all that it took to make him what he is...Odd how that can be...
ROZY: "You tell 'em Mr. J."
THE FIRST: "Now life throws me another curveball, instead of crushing Joey Melton and his lap dog for the honor of being one half of the Tag Champions of EPW...I am faced with hunting two men who mockingly take the names of leaders of Rome...And to get to them, to fulfill my destiny...I must now go through 2 other teams...Dope and I have been sent to this ring to bring about this carnage...
The Social Club...Legends, heros...Oh the greatness, oh how the masses speak of them in only the most hushed of tones...Oh it is true there have been many things done in the past that require one pause and reflect upon excellence...But the future tells a far more grim fate...One of failure, one of agony...No, this day is not yours...
And our good friends Mr. Black and his pal Mr. Dalkichev...An escape artist...Escaping from what? Are you a mage? Am I expected to handcuff you and then be shocked when you escape? Or are you seeking to escape from the dull realities of your tiresome life? Do you seek freedom on a higher, more spirit-based realm? I don't know you, so I can not say, but I do assume you are merely just another warrior sent to fight in the arena, just another combatant to engage his opponents, to break bones and rend flesh...
Mr. Dalkichev...Why do you rage? is it that Russia is slipping back into the grip of tyranny? Or did you hate democracy from the start? What drives you Mr. Dalkichev, what is the source of your rage? Do you merely seek the tag titles as Dope and I do? If that is the case well then your rage will not be ended, since that quest ends here and now...You will fail, as you have no choice but to do so...I have no time for games, my fate must be met head on and you stand in it's way...Thusly, I must cast you aside...Dope and I shall give no quarter, pull no punch, show no mercy...Final victory must be obtained, and it shall be...Yes...Yes It shall...
Why are we so ruthless? Why are we so relentless?
Cause...
We are Forsaken...
(FADEOUT)
BigDaddy
League Member
Re: Russian Roulette - Highland Park Social Club vs. Chronic Collizion vs. The Forsaken
High above the plains of the heartland, Richard Farnswirth's private plane jets through the clouds from A1E's Mercury Rising pay-per-view to appear at EPW's Russian Roulette. Such is the life for the Highland Park Social Club.
On the plane, Richard sits in his leather chair wearing a dark suit. From time to time, he shifts in his chair. His discomfort a by-product of his Cat O'Nine Tails on a Pole match with Cross this past weekend. His back is still feeling the effects of those lacerations the whip produced.
However, even that is not enough to keep him from taking care of business.
Farnswirth: And so, it begins ... again.
A few weeks ago, the Highland Park Social Club reasserted itself within Empire Pro Wrestling. Along with our newest member, Adam Benjamin, we have set our sights on regaining that which we should never have lost. Thanks to Dan Ryan keeping me away from our title defense against the Cameron Cruise Project and forcing that ... clown ... to participate, our belts were unfairly taken from us.
Mr. Ryan is going to soon learn that I don't take kindly to having things taken away from me. I'm in the habit of doing the taking, and that's exactly what we plan to do.
It all started at Wrestlestock when we made quick work of Karl Brown and Foxx. Already, we are in a #1 contender match this week. If you ask me, it is simply another formality, a form that needs to be signed before the deal can be made official.
We will be stepping in the ring against two other teams: one of them we have seen in other rings, and the other that we are less familiar with.
Chronic Collizion ...
Sadly, after watching you up close over the coming months, I had hoped beyond hope that we would never be stepping in the ring with you. Not due to any type of reluctance or lack of confidence that we are far superior to you. No, more of a realization that it's quite possible we could pick up some form of disease from the likes of you.
I mean, really. One of you is, for lack of a better word, obsessed with something I can only guess is slang for a word I'd rather not use in mixed company. There are, after all, certain pleasantries that simply must be observed.
Inside the ring, you are a study in contrasts. One, the quicker, more skilled of the two. The second, a monster beyond all measure. And yet, both will be taught new lessons in the pain and suffering they can expect to receive from their technical masters.
And the others, the Forsaken ...
I find the whole "goth" thing to be quite the copout. A weak man's excuse for not accomplishing all that a person should. After all, if the world is against you, there is no reason to even try, and therefore you have a built in excuse to be less than average.
In reality, you were less than average to start with. You know that you cannot compete with the true elite so might as well not even try.
That would have been your best option, really. Standing between the HPSC and our tag team titles is not an enviable position. Such a place has resulted in better men than you reaching the end of their careers with great haste.
As with the real version, this Russian Roulette holds a fatal bullet for two teams. When the smoke from the gun clears, it will be the Highland Park Social Club standing tall.
High above the plains of the heartland, Richard Farnswirth's private plane jets through the clouds from A1E's Mercury Rising pay-per-view to appear at EPW's Russian Roulette. Such is the life for the Highland Park Social Club.
On the plane, Richard sits in his leather chair wearing a dark suit. From time to time, he shifts in his chair. His discomfort a by-product of his Cat O'Nine Tails on a Pole match with Cross this past weekend. His back is still feeling the effects of those lacerations the whip produced.
However, even that is not enough to keep him from taking care of business.
Farnswirth: And so, it begins ... again.
A few weeks ago, the Highland Park Social Club reasserted itself within Empire Pro Wrestling. Along with our newest member, Adam Benjamin, we have set our sights on regaining that which we should never have lost. Thanks to Dan Ryan keeping me away from our title defense against the Cameron Cruise Project and forcing that ... clown ... to participate, our belts were unfairly taken from us.
Mr. Ryan is going to soon learn that I don't take kindly to having things taken away from me. I'm in the habit of doing the taking, and that's exactly what we plan to do.
It all started at Wrestlestock when we made quick work of Karl Brown and Foxx. Already, we are in a #1 contender match this week. If you ask me, it is simply another formality, a form that needs to be signed before the deal can be made official.
We will be stepping in the ring against two other teams: one of them we have seen in other rings, and the other that we are less familiar with.
Chronic Collizion ...
Sadly, after watching you up close over the coming months, I had hoped beyond hope that we would never be stepping in the ring with you. Not due to any type of reluctance or lack of confidence that we are far superior to you. No, more of a realization that it's quite possible we could pick up some form of disease from the likes of you.
I mean, really. One of you is, for lack of a better word, obsessed with something I can only guess is slang for a word I'd rather not use in mixed company. There are, after all, certain pleasantries that simply must be observed.
Inside the ring, you are a study in contrasts. One, the quicker, more skilled of the two. The second, a monster beyond all measure. And yet, both will be taught new lessons in the pain and suffering they can expect to receive from their technical masters.
And the others, the Forsaken ...
I find the whole "goth" thing to be quite the copout. A weak man's excuse for not accomplishing all that a person should. After all, if the world is against you, there is no reason to even try, and therefore you have a built in excuse to be less than average.
In reality, you were less than average to start with. You know that you cannot compete with the true elite so might as well not even try.
That would have been your best option, really. Standing between the HPSC and our tag team titles is not an enviable position. Such a place has resulted in better men than you reaching the end of their careers with great haste.
As with the real version, this Russian Roulette holds a fatal bullet for two teams. When the smoke from the gun clears, it will be the Highland Park Social Club standing tall.
You can't play Russian Roulette without a real Russian!
(We fade in at CC-Central—otherwise known as the basement of Erik Black’s mother. The CHRONIC COLLIZION!! (formerly the Crimson Calling) are found gleaming over their newly signed EPW contracts, now framed and mounted on the wall. Ivan glances over his shoulder and notices the camera, and grunts in brief surprise before tapping his partner on the shoulder. Erik sets aside his J after exhaling a hefty hit and approaches the camera with Ivan looming over his shoulder.)
Erik Black
Now that the recent confusion of our status among the Empire Pro talent pool has been cleared up, ‘Van and I are ready to make our MUCH anticipated debut!
Ivan Dalkichev
But Class Act make unclassy departure… and now we have two teams to ass-vjork into submission!
Erik Black
Damn, two whole teams! That’s like having to beat any other team… only having to do it TWICE!!
But these fans will quickly be reminded of our superior ability… and then they’ll realize that the number of opponents we face is a moot point! We LAUGH IN THE FACE of Dan Ryan setting two teams in our path! We beckon, just give us ALL the teams, and we’ll dominate them all in a single night, at Russian Roulette!
…hey, Ivan. YOU’RE Russian!
Ivan Dalkichev
Damn right I am!
Erik Black
I guess that puts you right at home in this event. So tell us, what’s the difference between Russian Roulette and American Roulette?
Ivan Dalkichev
Played with revolver instead of spinny thingie. You put one pullet in chamber, spin around… point gun at head, and pull trigger. Maybe you live, maybe you die. Played myself in days working for mob…
(Ivan’s eyes grow distant as memories flood his mind. He takes a heavy swig of his bottle of vodka.)
Erik Black
I see… so it’s a game hinged on courage and chance. You have to be willing to take that risk if you want to win.
The risk-taking… now THAT’S something that we’re known for! It’s been known to pay off well. Only the element of “chance” is something unknown to us. Sure, the unforeseen events always rear their ugly head here and there in the ring… but our phenomenal talent keeps us in control of the situation, and “luck” becomes a non-factor.
But enough about us… we can’t forget that a couple of other teams are coming into that ring with the same intent to move on to the Tag Team titles. Let’s start with the amateur duo of The First and Dope (heh heh) who call themselves the Forsaken!
(Ivan’s eyes suddenly go wide and a look of panic crosses his face.)
Ivan Dalkichev
We face the UNDEAD?! How can we beat what cannot be KILLED?!
Erik Black
Relax, ‘Van… while they might have ripped the name, the tag line, and the look from the World of Warcraft, I think all similarities end there. “The Forsaken” is just a name.
But speaking of names…
You know, usually when an opposing team wants to be critical, they might look back at our past performance, or probably look into your personalities. In our experience, we’ve seen much more of the latter than the former; probably because at first glance, we come off as anything but a successful tag team. Yet our history proves us to be flawless in almost every encounter.
But then in comes a team like Forsaken, who apparently choose look at things from a different angle. Rather than look down upon us not for being a stoner and a drunk… they ask why we go by our respective nicknames, and give their own personal insight.
Not sure what that has to do with anything once the bell rings, but okay, here goes…
Why do they call me “The Escape Artist”? Easy. There’s not a set of feet that can catch me when I’m running, and there’s not a hold anyone can sink in that I can’t slip out of.
And why is Ivan “The Raging Russian”? Well, for once thing, he’s Russian. And you’d be pissed too if your career as a pornstar went down the crapper because of some mutha-fuggin’ Viking!
Ivan Dalkichev
Damn that Olvir…
Why named “The First”? Because you are FIRST to be made example of as we make much anticipated return?
Why is partner named Dope? Is a dope, perhaps? Like the sh*tty nu-metal band? Likes to smoke it?
Erik Black
Heh, I’ve already got that covered.
But really, who the hell cares WHAT we go by? We could step into that ring as “Glass Spine” Erik Black and “Don’t Hit My Knees” Ivan Dalkichev, and it wouldn’t matter. We’d still put you flat on your backs.
I could easily sit here and talk all day about how ridiculous it is for one of your members to come out on camera dressed as comic book villain… but we won’t make the same mistake as you, judging a book by its cover. Seeing as how you’ve already gone and passed judgment on ‘Van and myself, I think it’s safe to say that you’re in for a rude awakening.
But you aren’t alone. It seems the recently reformed Highland Park Social Club isn’t fully aware of what they’re up against either.
Ivan Dalkichev
But we know we’re up against one hell of team!
Erik Black
You said it, ‘Van.
Farns-Master-Flash… you’re no stranger to EPW Tag Team Titles. And A-Benj, hell, you’re practically an Empire Pro staple! I’ll tell you one thing… knowing who the both of you are and what you’ve accomplished, the two of us fully understand the challenge we’re facing when we make our return to the EPW ring.
But the same can’t be said about the two of you…
Ivan Dalkichev
Perhaps forget that BLACK-MAN and BIG COCK IVAN are former Empire Pro champions ourselves.
Erik Black
And not only former champs… but the FIRST champs!
Before the gimmick stealers… before Cameron Cruise Project… and before you guys, we were tearing up that ring as the Crimson Calling, making a habit out of beating punk teams like Blitz. And now reformed as the CHRONIC COLLIZION!!
Ivan Dalkichev
Formerly the Crimson Calling.
Erik Black
…we pick up that old habit as though it never went away… and a few others to go with it.
(Erik flashes the camera two rows of yellowed teeth.)
Erik Black
That’s our purpose… to reclaim our former glory, and to surpass it. To show that meat-head DAN RYAN that he made a mistake the day he cancelled our contracts!
Ivan Dalkichev
…I thought we walked out?
(Erik’s hand rapping across the back of Ivan’s head quickly silences the larger man.)
Erik Black
Dude, you can’t say it like that! We had no choice! We were under contract with Nathan Fear, who was acting too high and mighty to cut the management a little slack…
Man, that guy was an asshole. But luckily for us, he’s been institutionalized.
Ivan Dalkichev
Speaking of… do we have scheduled visit in next couple days?
Erik Black
Crap… you’re right. I guess we do owe him a visit…
And once we’re done with that, we hop over to the Indianapolis International Airport, grab a couple coach-class tickets to Atlanta (because we can’t afford anything better and Ivan’s too fat to be smuggled in a suitcase), fly on over to the event, and take the first step in achieving our goal!
(Donning his joint and taking a puff, the red-eyed Erik Black heads for the door followed by Ivan. Cut to black.)
(We fade in at CC-Central—otherwise known as the basement of Erik Black’s mother. The CHRONIC COLLIZION!! (formerly the Crimson Calling) are found gleaming over their newly signed EPW contracts, now framed and mounted on the wall. Ivan glances over his shoulder and notices the camera, and grunts in brief surprise before tapping his partner on the shoulder. Erik sets aside his J after exhaling a hefty hit and approaches the camera with Ivan looming over his shoulder.)
Erik Black
Now that the recent confusion of our status among the Empire Pro talent pool has been cleared up, ‘Van and I are ready to make our MUCH anticipated debut!
Ivan Dalkichev
But Class Act make unclassy departure… and now we have two teams to ass-vjork into submission!
Erik Black
Damn, two whole teams! That’s like having to beat any other team… only having to do it TWICE!!
But these fans will quickly be reminded of our superior ability… and then they’ll realize that the number of opponents we face is a moot point! We LAUGH IN THE FACE of Dan Ryan setting two teams in our path! We beckon, just give us ALL the teams, and we’ll dominate them all in a single night, at Russian Roulette!
…hey, Ivan. YOU’RE Russian!
Ivan Dalkichev
Damn right I am!
Erik Black
I guess that puts you right at home in this event. So tell us, what’s the difference between Russian Roulette and American Roulette?
Ivan Dalkichev
Played with revolver instead of spinny thingie. You put one pullet in chamber, spin around… point gun at head, and pull trigger. Maybe you live, maybe you die. Played myself in days working for mob…
(Ivan’s eyes grow distant as memories flood his mind. He takes a heavy swig of his bottle of vodka.)
Erik Black
I see… so it’s a game hinged on courage and chance. You have to be willing to take that risk if you want to win.
The risk-taking… now THAT’S something that we’re known for! It’s been known to pay off well. Only the element of “chance” is something unknown to us. Sure, the unforeseen events always rear their ugly head here and there in the ring… but our phenomenal talent keeps us in control of the situation, and “luck” becomes a non-factor.
But enough about us… we can’t forget that a couple of other teams are coming into that ring with the same intent to move on to the Tag Team titles. Let’s start with the amateur duo of The First and Dope (heh heh) who call themselves the Forsaken!
(Ivan’s eyes suddenly go wide and a look of panic crosses his face.)
Ivan Dalkichev
We face the UNDEAD?! How can we beat what cannot be KILLED?!
Erik Black
Relax, ‘Van… while they might have ripped the name, the tag line, and the look from the World of Warcraft, I think all similarities end there. “The Forsaken” is just a name.
But speaking of names…
You know, usually when an opposing team wants to be critical, they might look back at our past performance, or probably look into your personalities. In our experience, we’ve seen much more of the latter than the former; probably because at first glance, we come off as anything but a successful tag team. Yet our history proves us to be flawless in almost every encounter.
But then in comes a team like Forsaken, who apparently choose look at things from a different angle. Rather than look down upon us not for being a stoner and a drunk… they ask why we go by our respective nicknames, and give their own personal insight.
Not sure what that has to do with anything once the bell rings, but okay, here goes…
Why do they call me “The Escape Artist”? Easy. There’s not a set of feet that can catch me when I’m running, and there’s not a hold anyone can sink in that I can’t slip out of.
And why is Ivan “The Raging Russian”? Well, for once thing, he’s Russian. And you’d be pissed too if your career as a pornstar went down the crapper because of some mutha-fuggin’ Viking!
Ivan Dalkichev
Damn that Olvir…
Why named “The First”? Because you are FIRST to be made example of as we make much anticipated return?
Why is partner named Dope? Is a dope, perhaps? Like the sh*tty nu-metal band? Likes to smoke it?
Erik Black
Heh, I’ve already got that covered.
But really, who the hell cares WHAT we go by? We could step into that ring as “Glass Spine” Erik Black and “Don’t Hit My Knees” Ivan Dalkichev, and it wouldn’t matter. We’d still put you flat on your backs.
I could easily sit here and talk all day about how ridiculous it is for one of your members to come out on camera dressed as comic book villain… but we won’t make the same mistake as you, judging a book by its cover. Seeing as how you’ve already gone and passed judgment on ‘Van and myself, I think it’s safe to say that you’re in for a rude awakening.
But you aren’t alone. It seems the recently reformed Highland Park Social Club isn’t fully aware of what they’re up against either.
Ivan Dalkichev
But we know we’re up against one hell of team!
Erik Black
You said it, ‘Van.
Farns-Master-Flash… you’re no stranger to EPW Tag Team Titles. And A-Benj, hell, you’re practically an Empire Pro staple! I’ll tell you one thing… knowing who the both of you are and what you’ve accomplished, the two of us fully understand the challenge we’re facing when we make our return to the EPW ring.
But the same can’t be said about the two of you…
Ivan Dalkichev
Perhaps forget that BLACK-MAN and BIG COCK IVAN are former Empire Pro champions ourselves.
Erik Black
And not only former champs… but the FIRST champs!
Before the gimmick stealers… before Cameron Cruise Project… and before you guys, we were tearing up that ring as the Crimson Calling, making a habit out of beating punk teams like Blitz. And now reformed as the CHRONIC COLLIZION!!
Ivan Dalkichev
Formerly the Crimson Calling.
Erik Black
…we pick up that old habit as though it never went away… and a few others to go with it.
(Erik flashes the camera two rows of yellowed teeth.)
Erik Black
That’s our purpose… to reclaim our former glory, and to surpass it. To show that meat-head DAN RYAN that he made a mistake the day he cancelled our contracts!
Ivan Dalkichev
…I thought we walked out?
(Erik’s hand rapping across the back of Ivan’s head quickly silences the larger man.)
Erik Black
Dude, you can’t say it like that! We had no choice! We were under contract with Nathan Fear, who was acting too high and mighty to cut the management a little slack…
Man, that guy was an asshole. But luckily for us, he’s been institutionalized.
Ivan Dalkichev
Speaking of… do we have scheduled visit in next couple days?
Erik Black
Crap… you’re right. I guess we do owe him a visit…
And once we’re done with that, we hop over to the Indianapolis International Airport, grab a couple coach-class tickets to Atlanta (because we can’t afford anything better and Ivan’s too fat to be smuggled in a suitcase), fly on over to the event, and take the first step in achieving our goal!
(Donning his joint and taking a puff, the red-eyed Erik Black heads for the door followed by Ivan. Cut to black.)
The Great Eye
I came to cut you up
- Joined
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(CUTTO: grainy, still shot of two empty wine bottles and an empty, crumpled plastic baggie on a table, somewhere boring…the same staticy woman’s voice says things while the camera pans around the stuff on the table…)
V/O: Arrogance. It’s good to reassure yourself, isn’t it? “Don’t forget, I’m the sh(bleep),” you say. Pat yourself on the back. Stroke your own throbbing Johnson, staring at yourself in the mirror.
I saw a short film recently. In it, this devoutly religious man was breaking out in hives all over his body. He concluded, somehow, that this had to do with his sinful nature, his lust. His chronic masturbating. He devised a solution to this problem, which was to masturbate while mentally focusing only on his own body, in front of the mirror, staring at himself, forcing any other thought out of his mind. In this way, his sexual desires were no longer subject to external desires, that is, if you’re not coveting what is not yours, is it lust?
The film ended before we could find out if the man’s hives went away.
Masturbating to your own visage in the mirror may free you of lust, which is sinful, and sin is not a very good thing. But with no lust, no one would reproduce, and the entire human race would be wiped out.
It’s nice to have a positive self image, but too much self-aggrandizement, and well…
Really, you can’t all be invincible badass god’s gifts to athletic competition, now can you?
(CUTTO: Remember the Spawn cartoons on HBO? On that show, most of the time, there were too many shadows in the frame to really tell what was happening. Same idea here. A pair of white diamonds, surrogate eyes, float above the faint outline of a mouth in the foreground…The lone source of illumination, is the flash of a flipping coin. The lone sound besides our subject’s voice, the “ping” that rings out when he flips it.)
DOPE: I know I’m…supposed to talk about our opponents, and what they’ve said in their promos and such and such. I’ll try, but it’s difficult, as I can’t seem to relate to, can’t seem to meanfully understand, anything they’ve said, or even what they are. I understand the basic functions they serve, and their ultimate purpose in my little microcosm universe. But only in the way a cat understands its owner, or perhaps more aptly, the way a shark understands a sea lion.
I know why they’re here, the opponents. I know what to do with them. And maybe if I thought about it real hard, I could see the rest of their existence, as opposed to the fragment that directly applies to my existence. But what would be the point of that?
I realize I haven’t been “here,” in EPW, and I haven’t been “here,” is this precise situation. But I’ve been here so many times. I’m sure we all have. It’s goths vs. stoners vs. the ivy leaguers. My god, it’s f(bleep)king high school…
Of course there’s more to the story. But that’s all you’ll see, that’s as far as you care, as far as I care, and all that matters.
In the real world, the goths don’t win. That’s why they’re goths. Most of the time, they’re mad because the ivy leaguers have all the money and women, and the stoners have the most fun. But this isn’t the real world, or at least, this world doesn’t adhere to the same rules what we normally consider “the real world” does. Chronic Collision and the Highland Park Social Club have already declared victory. They can’t both win, so we already know one of them is dead wrong. And wouldn’t it be cute if a jackass was made of them all? The one thing about the future I’m sure of, is these meat-sacks have…no…f(bleep)king idea….what they’re dealing with.
Otherwise they wouldn’t be preemptively declaring victory. Otherwise they wouldn’t be jerking off at the mirror. They’d be watching depictions of sex they know they’ll probably never have, and longing for what could be, but isn’t.
I don’t feel any compulsion to declare victory. I don’t feel like jerking off. I feel like kicking Dalkichev, Black, Farnswirth, and Benjamin in their skulls until my boots get all icky with wet chunks of grey matter…
Wait…Benjamin, like Adam Benjamin? Same guy? Yeah?.....(pause)….(cackles) Oh wow, you are all REALLY f(bleep)ed…
If First is Joker, reckon that makes me Two Face. (flips the coin, grabs it in the air again, but this time, he flips it over on his wrist and looks at it) Scared side. Always lands on the scared side. Killing spree time. Again.
Soooooo which one of you is Batman?....
(FTB)
V/O: Arrogance. It’s good to reassure yourself, isn’t it? “Don’t forget, I’m the sh(bleep),” you say. Pat yourself on the back. Stroke your own throbbing Johnson, staring at yourself in the mirror.
I saw a short film recently. In it, this devoutly religious man was breaking out in hives all over his body. He concluded, somehow, that this had to do with his sinful nature, his lust. His chronic masturbating. He devised a solution to this problem, which was to masturbate while mentally focusing only on his own body, in front of the mirror, staring at himself, forcing any other thought out of his mind. In this way, his sexual desires were no longer subject to external desires, that is, if you’re not coveting what is not yours, is it lust?
The film ended before we could find out if the man’s hives went away.
Masturbating to your own visage in the mirror may free you of lust, which is sinful, and sin is not a very good thing. But with no lust, no one would reproduce, and the entire human race would be wiped out.
It’s nice to have a positive self image, but too much self-aggrandizement, and well…
Really, you can’t all be invincible badass god’s gifts to athletic competition, now can you?
(CUTTO: Remember the Spawn cartoons on HBO? On that show, most of the time, there were too many shadows in the frame to really tell what was happening. Same idea here. A pair of white diamonds, surrogate eyes, float above the faint outline of a mouth in the foreground…The lone source of illumination, is the flash of a flipping coin. The lone sound besides our subject’s voice, the “ping” that rings out when he flips it.)
DOPE: I know I’m…supposed to talk about our opponents, and what they’ve said in their promos and such and such. I’ll try, but it’s difficult, as I can’t seem to relate to, can’t seem to meanfully understand, anything they’ve said, or even what they are. I understand the basic functions they serve, and their ultimate purpose in my little microcosm universe. But only in the way a cat understands its owner, or perhaps more aptly, the way a shark understands a sea lion.
I know why they’re here, the opponents. I know what to do with them. And maybe if I thought about it real hard, I could see the rest of their existence, as opposed to the fragment that directly applies to my existence. But what would be the point of that?
I realize I haven’t been “here,” in EPW, and I haven’t been “here,” is this precise situation. But I’ve been here so many times. I’m sure we all have. It’s goths vs. stoners vs. the ivy leaguers. My god, it’s f(bleep)king high school…
Of course there’s more to the story. But that’s all you’ll see, that’s as far as you care, as far as I care, and all that matters.
In the real world, the goths don’t win. That’s why they’re goths. Most of the time, they’re mad because the ivy leaguers have all the money and women, and the stoners have the most fun. But this isn’t the real world, or at least, this world doesn’t adhere to the same rules what we normally consider “the real world” does. Chronic Collision and the Highland Park Social Club have already declared victory. They can’t both win, so we already know one of them is dead wrong. And wouldn’t it be cute if a jackass was made of them all? The one thing about the future I’m sure of, is these meat-sacks have…no…f(bleep)king idea….what they’re dealing with.
Otherwise they wouldn’t be preemptively declaring victory. Otherwise they wouldn’t be jerking off at the mirror. They’d be watching depictions of sex they know they’ll probably never have, and longing for what could be, but isn’t.
I don’t feel any compulsion to declare victory. I don’t feel like jerking off. I feel like kicking Dalkichev, Black, Farnswirth, and Benjamin in their skulls until my boots get all icky with wet chunks of grey matter…
Wait…Benjamin, like Adam Benjamin? Same guy? Yeah?.....(pause)….(cackles) Oh wow, you are all REALLY f(bleep)ed…
If First is Joker, reckon that makes me Two Face. (flips the coin, grabs it in the air again, but this time, he flips it over on his wrist and looks at it) Scared side. Always lands on the scared side. Killing spree time. Again.
Soooooo which one of you is Batman?....
(FTB)
Adam_Benjamin
League Member
- Joined
- Jan 1, 2000
- Messages
- 313
- Points
- 0
- Age
- 46
Re: Russian Roulette - Highland Park Social Club vs. Chronic Collizion vs. The Forsaken
(Fade into "Yours Truly" Adam Benjamin sitting inside the back of a limo seen wearing a fine custom suit.)
Empire Pro Wrestling, seems like its been forever... You know for a federation that I once held dear to my heart, I honestly could care less about you.
You see I no longer feel the need to associate myself with the lower side of life's toy chest. For a short period of time I forgot that I am a blue blood and am one of high standards.
That is why I am a member of the HPSC, rich, powerful, and talented!
And like Richard pointed out, we are soon to be holding what the HPSC never truly lost, hell we simply rented those titles out, now were are coming back to claim our spot as the best tag team on earth.
I could sit here, on my way to dinner, and explain to each of the pebbles that we are facing what is in store for them. But honestly they already know.
However, I can assure the "First" that I have not forgotten him. Mate the closing of UCW kept me from finishing you off. Now I may not take your world title, however I promise I will take your heart.
See all you clowns in the ring, prepare yourselves for emotional pain.
(Fade out)
(Fade into "Yours Truly" Adam Benjamin sitting inside the back of a limo seen wearing a fine custom suit.)
Empire Pro Wrestling, seems like its been forever... You know for a federation that I once held dear to my heart, I honestly could care less about you.
You see I no longer feel the need to associate myself with the lower side of life's toy chest. For a short period of time I forgot that I am a blue blood and am one of high standards.
That is why I am a member of the HPSC, rich, powerful, and talented!
And like Richard pointed out, we are soon to be holding what the HPSC never truly lost, hell we simply rented those titles out, now were are coming back to claim our spot as the best tag team on earth.
I could sit here, on my way to dinner, and explain to each of the pebbles that we are facing what is in store for them. But honestly they already know.
However, I can assure the "First" that I have not forgotten him. Mate the closing of UCW kept me from finishing you off. Now I may not take your world title, however I promise I will take your heart.
See all you clowns in the ring, prepare yourselves for emotional pain.
(Fade out)
The Great Eye
I came to cut you up
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2004
- Messages
- 1,337
- Points
- 0
(FADEIN: The First wearing the Joker outfit same as before, the room is poorly lit around him, his hair is a mess of green and black.)
THE FIRST: "Oh the wit, the usual amazingly clever stuff from my wonderful opponents...The Russian and his escape artist friend...(Shakes head) I don't seem to see where this gimmick here is about being undead...Right now I seem to mostly be about copyright infringement upon DC Comics...(Smiles) But, you may think as you wish...It is fine with me...Humanity is ever unchangeable in it's ways...The truth is, I don't understand you at all, I see two men who think they know so much, but they know nothing...
What is an escape artist? Really, are you a showman? And if so why? What hole is in your soul that you need to perform for the masses to find peace? What demons torment you such to make this need exist in you? And if you are not such a creature, why the name? What does it all mean? Odd that you would think such a way, act such a way...Be such a way...
And the Russian...Just anger for him, but anger, hidden behind sarcasm and snark...I guess it's a winning formula...But if that's the case, why not the sarcastic serbian? The snarky Slov? I mean, just going for something alliterative for the sake of making a snappy nickname...Seems weak...(Shrugs)
Again, I fail to connect, maybe you are soulless, maybe you were born without them, maybe you suffered soul death, I know Rozy hates your aura's...I'll know more in the ring I guess...And I promise that should one or both of you be killed in the ring, I will not eat you to regenerate mad HP. (Rolls eyes)
And then we have Mr. Benjamin...Who believes because he's hanging out with Mr. Farnsworth that he's important, special, interesting, important...Did I leave anything out?
You seem to regret that we never fought before...You regret not facing me for a title in a league long forgotten...
This is what you regret...
Pitiful...
I have suffered 6,000 years of torment, I live and breathe regret...I managed to in my failings, exile humanity from Eden...I managed to fail as a parent enough that I bred humanity's first murderer and his first victim, in all of 2 sons...
And you, you wish you could have fought me for some title...So sad, so tragic, oh Mr. Benjamin, don't ever wish for things, you always end up getting them, and they are never what you want...
I'd say you might end up regretting it...But really, I've just been over what a joke that is...(smiles)
(FADEOUT)
THE FIRST: "Oh the wit, the usual amazingly clever stuff from my wonderful opponents...The Russian and his escape artist friend...(Shakes head) I don't seem to see where this gimmick here is about being undead...Right now I seem to mostly be about copyright infringement upon DC Comics...(Smiles) But, you may think as you wish...It is fine with me...Humanity is ever unchangeable in it's ways...The truth is, I don't understand you at all, I see two men who think they know so much, but they know nothing...
What is an escape artist? Really, are you a showman? And if so why? What hole is in your soul that you need to perform for the masses to find peace? What demons torment you such to make this need exist in you? And if you are not such a creature, why the name? What does it all mean? Odd that you would think such a way, act such a way...Be such a way...
And the Russian...Just anger for him, but anger, hidden behind sarcasm and snark...I guess it's a winning formula...But if that's the case, why not the sarcastic serbian? The snarky Slov? I mean, just going for something alliterative for the sake of making a snappy nickname...Seems weak...(Shrugs)
Again, I fail to connect, maybe you are soulless, maybe you were born without them, maybe you suffered soul death, I know Rozy hates your aura's...I'll know more in the ring I guess...And I promise that should one or both of you be killed in the ring, I will not eat you to regenerate mad HP. (Rolls eyes)
And then we have Mr. Benjamin...Who believes because he's hanging out with Mr. Farnsworth that he's important, special, interesting, important...Did I leave anything out?
You seem to regret that we never fought before...You regret not facing me for a title in a league long forgotten...
This is what you regret...
Pitiful...
I have suffered 6,000 years of torment, I live and breathe regret...I managed to in my failings, exile humanity from Eden...I managed to fail as a parent enough that I bred humanity's first murderer and his first victim, in all of 2 sons...
And you, you wish you could have fought me for some title...So sad, so tragic, oh Mr. Benjamin, don't ever wish for things, you always end up getting them, and they are never what you want...
I'd say you might end up regretting it...But really, I've just been over what a joke that is...(smiles)
(FADEOUT)
Ivan Dalkichev
I’m Batman!
Erik Black
G*ddamnit, ‘Van, stop doing those Keaton impressions! We’re here…
(We fade outside of a large white building in the outskirts of the city of Indianapolis. Erik and Ivan exit out of the back of a yellow cab that drove them there. Black’s license is still suspended, and you just don’t want to see a guy like Ivan get behind the wheel.)
Erik Black
Well, Ivan… I’ll remind you to be on your very best behavior. The Boss hasn’t been doing very well since we left Empire Pro the first time. That’s why he’s in here now…
Just promise me you won’t get hammered and threaten to vjork every living thing in the ass, else one of the orderlies might mistake you for a tenant and I’d be going into Russian Roulette on my own.
Ivan Dalkichev
I’ll behave…
(The two pass a sign that reads, “St. Alfonso’s Medical Treatment Center”. The camera lingers on this shot as they approach the glass double doors and step inside.)
(We cut inside of a commons room up on the third floor, where they stash some of the more erratic patients. It’s like a scene out of “One Flew Out Of The Cuckoo’s Nest”, complete with an old guy in a wheelchair and a seven foot tall Indian who looks like he came from Poltergeist II standing silently in the corner with his arms crossed over his chest. Erik and Ivan walk through this room, led by an extremely curt-faced nurse who briskly walks to a secluded corner at the end of the room. Erik and Ivan look around somewhat intrigued, flabbergasted, and, in a few cases, shocked and appalled.)
(Perhaps they don’t quite realize they’d fit right in. But luckily for them, they both bear taped-on nametags that read in shiny magic marker, “SANE”.)
Erik Black
Some real weirdoes here, Ivan.
Ivan Dalkichev
Mmmm…
Erik Black
Haven’t seen crazies like this since I was working as a talent rep for Las Vegas Wrestling. That was when I was sober, of course…
Ivan Dalkichev
I thought you were shift manager at Pizza Hut!
Erik Black
…you know, I hate the narrator.
(F*ck you guys!)
Nurse
Keep it down, gentlemen. You’re disturbing our patients…
(The two stammer out apologies and hurry after her. They come to a small semi-circle of plastic chairs centered on a TV that hangs from the ceiling in the corner. Only a single chair is occupied by a man wearing a white straight jacket and bearing a mess of dirty black hair.)
Nurse
Mr. Fear? You have guests…
(Erik and Ivan approach, and the man in the chair stands up and turns around… revealing himself to be their one-time manager, Nathan Fear. Once known to be a clean, well-spoken millionaire, he’s now only a shadow of his former self. He is terribly pallid and unkempt, sporting a clumsy bear with dark eyes under his bags. The inane look in his eye reveals that all that was left of his sanity has gone out the window and now lingers off a balcony in the trustful hands of Michael Jackson.)
Nathan Fear
COMRADES! You have come to liberate me from this Capitalist political prison!
Erik Black
Hey boss, what’s up? Been a long time. You look, uh… great.
Nathan Fear
I have not lost spirit, my loyal friends! Though they have tried to destroy every last bit of my mind and soul, I remain strong and steadfast in my ultimate goal!
They LAUGHED at me when I told them I would lead this nation into a new era of Communism… but just wait until they see my OPUS! Look, there… my manuscript for the book that will change the face of the United States!
(Fear gestures to a jumbled stack of papers on the chair next to him. Ivan picks them up and begins reading. He looks from the “novel” to Erik, to Fear, then to the camera, before revealing that it’s nothing but a jumbled mess of scribbles.)
Ivan Dalkichev
Very… inspiring, Mr. Fear.
Nathan Fear
Bah… it’s hard to write using only your mouth. But when it’s complete, it will change the world!
But enough about me… tell me why you have come? Perhaps to free me from these corporate chains so we can continue our quest toward the Crimson Dream?
Erik Black
Well… not quite, boss. You see, there’s a lot of legal mumbo jumbo involved, and you’re not up for another psychological evaluation for another six months…
But rather, we came to let you know that we’ve returned to the ring. We’re wrestling again!
(Fear nearly bolts out of his chair and begins shouting at the top of his lungs.)
Nathan Fear
THE CRIMSON CALLING LIVES ON!! COUNT YOUR FINAL DAYS, DEMOCRACY!! THE COMMUNISTS WILL PREVAIL!!
(A pair of burly orderlies rush into the frame and restrain him. The nurse from before arrives again with a sedative which she quickly jams into Fear’s arm, and after a moment’s struggle, he limps and falls back into his chair, looking groggy. She turns with a glare to the duo.)
Nurse
I’d appreciate it if you tried not to get him riled up. We have a enough trouble with him as it is.
(The orderlies move on and she leaves, with Erik and Ivan looking after her.)
Erik Black
Wonder where I can get one of those shots…
Ivan Dalkichev
I vjork her in ass, Ratchet-style.
(They turn back to their former employer, who looks groggy, but is still awake and conscious.)
Nathan Fear
So… continuing the Crimson Calling, are you?
Erik Black
Uh… yeah, just with a few modifications here and there. Nothing big.
Ivan Dalkichev
We call ourselves CHROO—
(Erik jams an elbow into his ribs and quickly silences him.)
Erik Black
Anyhow, we’ve been practically unstoppable in a few other leagues, and now we’re making the jump back into Empire Pro… to reclaim what was once ours. Oddly, we’re debuting against two teams.
The first is a pair of silver-spooned yuppies known as the Highland Park Social Club… just another team that happened to pick up on those titles while we were away. Of course, now they’ve got Adam Benjamin among their ranks…
Granted, Benji seems more interested in flaunting the fact that he’s with the HPSC than actually acknowledge the challenge that awaits him. Richard Farnswirth, the other guy… he can pull his weight in the ring, but we somehow doubt he’s taking us seriously just because we’re not as wealthy as he.
Nathan Fear
Such is the nature of petty Capitalists. They further themselves at the expense of others. They trample upon rights of life and helping your fellow man… and shun those who do not follow their lead.
When you crush him in the ring, it will be a significant act! Just as together, WE will crush the Capitalist force that drives this nation!
Erik Black
Then, there are these two guys who call themselves the Forsaken. Forsaken from what, I’m not quite sure… maybe society, so that would explain why they do the whole “badass” thing.
Ivan Dalkichev
We are societal outcasts ourselves, no?
Nathan Fear
We are ALL outcasts of this money-driven, democratic society!
Erik Black
Yeah, but anyway… they think they’re pain is more, so, I guess that makes them Forsakener.
Nathan Fear
And what do these victims of their own angst and vanity have to say?
Erik Black
I dunno… this one guy, Dope, kept talking about jacking off in front of a mirror and high school drama, or something to that manner. We weren’t completely sure what the hell any of that had to do with wrestling in a ring, but yeah, that’s what he said. There was probably some sort deep, philosophical meaning behind it, but to be completely honest, I was just too damn high at the time and ‘Van was barfing up his esophagus.
The only thing I really got out of it is our not knowing what we’re up against… which is true to some extent. That has more to do with the drugs and the liquor than the actual mental awareness, though. Truth is, Ivan and I never know who the F*CK we’re fighting many of the times we’re stepping into the ring. We just go out there and wing it.
Hasn’t failed us yet, you know?
Nathan Fear
…drugs and liquor?
Erik Black
OH, uh… I only meant that in the figurative sense. When I say “drugs”, I mean, you know… Communist Spirit, or whatever, and “liquor” is the Glory of Mother Russian, or whatnot.
Nathan Fear
Interesting comparisons. I think I’ll use them in my novel…
Erik Black
Sure, you do that, boss. When people see that drugs and liquor motivate you to succeed, I’m sure you’ll sway a lot of opinions.
But then this Dope guy’s partner, the First… well, more “Russian” this and “Escape Artist” that. Apparently, he didn’t catch the explanations in our last promo, and thus, he’s still under the impression that our names must somehow affect our performance in the ring.
Ivan Dalkichev
In for big wake up call, I say.
Erik Black
You’re right there, ‘Van. I kept trying to tell him that it’s not what we call ourselves that he should be focused on. Maybe if he looked back in Empire Pro’s stock video footage and found some of our previous work as the nearly unstoppable Crimson Calling, he’d see that we weren’t merely blowing hot air out of our asses…
Fact of the matter is, the two of us are as of yet undefeated… here in Empire Pro, or in anywhere. Sure, we’re up a different pair of teams this time, but when was the last we went up against a team that had experience with us prior to the ringing of the bell?
Ivan Dalkichev
Blitz?
Erik Black
Former world champs… and we beat the two of them as well, on more than one occassion…
Nathan Fear
Capitalist fools…
If only they had visionary minds like I do. If only they could SEE the perfect combination of lethal speed and unstoppable match that exist in you!
Ivan Dalkichev
Exactly!
Nathan Fear
If only they could perceive the unitary camaraderie between the both of you, like a well-oiled Marxist machine that enlightens the blind masses to your TRUE cause!
The Crimson Dream… the glorious Eden of a free, equal, COMMUNIST America!
Erik Black
Uh… yeah, whatever you say, boss.
(Erik and Ivan share an uneasy glance.)
Erik Black
Well, Mr. Fear… I think we gotta be going. We got a flight to catch. We gotta go up high knowutimsayin’?
Nathan Fear
Very well, friends! Do not be afraid for your former master! Soon, these minds will be convinced that I am this nation’s leader, and in time, I will ESCAPE this Alcatraz of the mind and we may continue our quest then!
Until then… the two of you must not fail in that ring. You must remain the elite, unstoppable pair that you are. Only then will our plan come to fruition…
Ivan Dalkichev
Understood, Mr. Fear.
Erik Black
You take care now. And good luck with the novel…
(The two get up and leave as Fear uses his feet to reach for his pen and papers and quickly begins scribbling down more political nonsense.)
(We cut to the outside of the building. Erik isn’t two steps off the front step when he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a J and lights it up.)
Erik Black
Well, Ivan… I guess, for the boss’ sake, we’ve got a job to do. We’ve got to go into that ring and kick ass, strange or familiar, just like we always do.
Only this time, it won’t be for some mindless political agenda. We’ve got to go in there and do it for ourselves…
For the CHRONIC COLLIZION!!
Ivan Dalkichev
Formerly the Crimson Calling!
(The duo make their way to the road and hail a cab. We fade to black.)
I’m Batman!
Erik Black
G*ddamnit, ‘Van, stop doing those Keaton impressions! We’re here…
(We fade outside of a large white building in the outskirts of the city of Indianapolis. Erik and Ivan exit out of the back of a yellow cab that drove them there. Black’s license is still suspended, and you just don’t want to see a guy like Ivan get behind the wheel.)
Erik Black
Well, Ivan… I’ll remind you to be on your very best behavior. The Boss hasn’t been doing very well since we left Empire Pro the first time. That’s why he’s in here now…
Just promise me you won’t get hammered and threaten to vjork every living thing in the ass, else one of the orderlies might mistake you for a tenant and I’d be going into Russian Roulette on my own.
Ivan Dalkichev
I’ll behave…
(The two pass a sign that reads, “St. Alfonso’s Medical Treatment Center”. The camera lingers on this shot as they approach the glass double doors and step inside.)
(We cut inside of a commons room up on the third floor, where they stash some of the more erratic patients. It’s like a scene out of “One Flew Out Of The Cuckoo’s Nest”, complete with an old guy in a wheelchair and a seven foot tall Indian who looks like he came from Poltergeist II standing silently in the corner with his arms crossed over his chest. Erik and Ivan walk through this room, led by an extremely curt-faced nurse who briskly walks to a secluded corner at the end of the room. Erik and Ivan look around somewhat intrigued, flabbergasted, and, in a few cases, shocked and appalled.)
(Perhaps they don’t quite realize they’d fit right in. But luckily for them, they both bear taped-on nametags that read in shiny magic marker, “SANE”.)
Erik Black
Some real weirdoes here, Ivan.
Ivan Dalkichev
Mmmm…
Erik Black
Haven’t seen crazies like this since I was working as a talent rep for Las Vegas Wrestling. That was when I was sober, of course…
Ivan Dalkichev
I thought you were shift manager at Pizza Hut!
Erik Black
…you know, I hate the narrator.
(F*ck you guys!)
Nurse
Keep it down, gentlemen. You’re disturbing our patients…
(The two stammer out apologies and hurry after her. They come to a small semi-circle of plastic chairs centered on a TV that hangs from the ceiling in the corner. Only a single chair is occupied by a man wearing a white straight jacket and bearing a mess of dirty black hair.)
Nurse
Mr. Fear? You have guests…
(Erik and Ivan approach, and the man in the chair stands up and turns around… revealing himself to be their one-time manager, Nathan Fear. Once known to be a clean, well-spoken millionaire, he’s now only a shadow of his former self. He is terribly pallid and unkempt, sporting a clumsy bear with dark eyes under his bags. The inane look in his eye reveals that all that was left of his sanity has gone out the window and now lingers off a balcony in the trustful hands of Michael Jackson.)
Nathan Fear
COMRADES! You have come to liberate me from this Capitalist political prison!
Erik Black
Hey boss, what’s up? Been a long time. You look, uh… great.
Nathan Fear
I have not lost spirit, my loyal friends! Though they have tried to destroy every last bit of my mind and soul, I remain strong and steadfast in my ultimate goal!
They LAUGHED at me when I told them I would lead this nation into a new era of Communism… but just wait until they see my OPUS! Look, there… my manuscript for the book that will change the face of the United States!
(Fear gestures to a jumbled stack of papers on the chair next to him. Ivan picks them up and begins reading. He looks from the “novel” to Erik, to Fear, then to the camera, before revealing that it’s nothing but a jumbled mess of scribbles.)
Ivan Dalkichev
Very… inspiring, Mr. Fear.
Nathan Fear
Bah… it’s hard to write using only your mouth. But when it’s complete, it will change the world!
But enough about me… tell me why you have come? Perhaps to free me from these corporate chains so we can continue our quest toward the Crimson Dream?
Erik Black
Well… not quite, boss. You see, there’s a lot of legal mumbo jumbo involved, and you’re not up for another psychological evaluation for another six months…
But rather, we came to let you know that we’ve returned to the ring. We’re wrestling again!
(Fear nearly bolts out of his chair and begins shouting at the top of his lungs.)
Nathan Fear
THE CRIMSON CALLING LIVES ON!! COUNT YOUR FINAL DAYS, DEMOCRACY!! THE COMMUNISTS WILL PREVAIL!!
(A pair of burly orderlies rush into the frame and restrain him. The nurse from before arrives again with a sedative which she quickly jams into Fear’s arm, and after a moment’s struggle, he limps and falls back into his chair, looking groggy. She turns with a glare to the duo.)
Nurse
I’d appreciate it if you tried not to get him riled up. We have a enough trouble with him as it is.
(The orderlies move on and she leaves, with Erik and Ivan looking after her.)
Erik Black
Wonder where I can get one of those shots…
Ivan Dalkichev
I vjork her in ass, Ratchet-style.
(They turn back to their former employer, who looks groggy, but is still awake and conscious.)
Nathan Fear
So… continuing the Crimson Calling, are you?
Erik Black
Uh… yeah, just with a few modifications here and there. Nothing big.
Ivan Dalkichev
We call ourselves CHROO—
(Erik jams an elbow into his ribs and quickly silences him.)
Erik Black
Anyhow, we’ve been practically unstoppable in a few other leagues, and now we’re making the jump back into Empire Pro… to reclaim what was once ours. Oddly, we’re debuting against two teams.
The first is a pair of silver-spooned yuppies known as the Highland Park Social Club… just another team that happened to pick up on those titles while we were away. Of course, now they’ve got Adam Benjamin among their ranks…
Granted, Benji seems more interested in flaunting the fact that he’s with the HPSC than actually acknowledge the challenge that awaits him. Richard Farnswirth, the other guy… he can pull his weight in the ring, but we somehow doubt he’s taking us seriously just because we’re not as wealthy as he.
Nathan Fear
Such is the nature of petty Capitalists. They further themselves at the expense of others. They trample upon rights of life and helping your fellow man… and shun those who do not follow their lead.
When you crush him in the ring, it will be a significant act! Just as together, WE will crush the Capitalist force that drives this nation!
Erik Black
Then, there are these two guys who call themselves the Forsaken. Forsaken from what, I’m not quite sure… maybe society, so that would explain why they do the whole “badass” thing.
Ivan Dalkichev
We are societal outcasts ourselves, no?
Nathan Fear
We are ALL outcasts of this money-driven, democratic society!
Erik Black
Yeah, but anyway… they think they’re pain is more, so, I guess that makes them Forsakener.
Nathan Fear
And what do these victims of their own angst and vanity have to say?
Erik Black
I dunno… this one guy, Dope, kept talking about jacking off in front of a mirror and high school drama, or something to that manner. We weren’t completely sure what the hell any of that had to do with wrestling in a ring, but yeah, that’s what he said. There was probably some sort deep, philosophical meaning behind it, but to be completely honest, I was just too damn high at the time and ‘Van was barfing up his esophagus.
The only thing I really got out of it is our not knowing what we’re up against… which is true to some extent. That has more to do with the drugs and the liquor than the actual mental awareness, though. Truth is, Ivan and I never know who the F*CK we’re fighting many of the times we’re stepping into the ring. We just go out there and wing it.
Hasn’t failed us yet, you know?
Nathan Fear
…drugs and liquor?
Erik Black
OH, uh… I only meant that in the figurative sense. When I say “drugs”, I mean, you know… Communist Spirit, or whatever, and “liquor” is the Glory of Mother Russian, or whatnot.
Nathan Fear
Interesting comparisons. I think I’ll use them in my novel…
Erik Black
Sure, you do that, boss. When people see that drugs and liquor motivate you to succeed, I’m sure you’ll sway a lot of opinions.
But then this Dope guy’s partner, the First… well, more “Russian” this and “Escape Artist” that. Apparently, he didn’t catch the explanations in our last promo, and thus, he’s still under the impression that our names must somehow affect our performance in the ring.
Ivan Dalkichev
In for big wake up call, I say.
Erik Black
You’re right there, ‘Van. I kept trying to tell him that it’s not what we call ourselves that he should be focused on. Maybe if he looked back in Empire Pro’s stock video footage and found some of our previous work as the nearly unstoppable Crimson Calling, he’d see that we weren’t merely blowing hot air out of our asses…
Fact of the matter is, the two of us are as of yet undefeated… here in Empire Pro, or in anywhere. Sure, we’re up a different pair of teams this time, but when was the last we went up against a team that had experience with us prior to the ringing of the bell?
Ivan Dalkichev
Blitz?
Erik Black
Former world champs… and we beat the two of them as well, on more than one occassion…
Nathan Fear
Capitalist fools…
If only they had visionary minds like I do. If only they could SEE the perfect combination of lethal speed and unstoppable match that exist in you!
Ivan Dalkichev
Exactly!
Nathan Fear
If only they could perceive the unitary camaraderie between the both of you, like a well-oiled Marxist machine that enlightens the blind masses to your TRUE cause!
The Crimson Dream… the glorious Eden of a free, equal, COMMUNIST America!
Erik Black
Uh… yeah, whatever you say, boss.
(Erik and Ivan share an uneasy glance.)
Erik Black
Well, Mr. Fear… I think we gotta be going. We got a flight to catch. We gotta go up high knowutimsayin’?
Nathan Fear
Very well, friends! Do not be afraid for your former master! Soon, these minds will be convinced that I am this nation’s leader, and in time, I will ESCAPE this Alcatraz of the mind and we may continue our quest then!
Until then… the two of you must not fail in that ring. You must remain the elite, unstoppable pair that you are. Only then will our plan come to fruition…
Ivan Dalkichev
Understood, Mr. Fear.
Erik Black
You take care now. And good luck with the novel…
(The two get up and leave as Fear uses his feet to reach for his pen and papers and quickly begins scribbling down more political nonsense.)
(We cut to the outside of the building. Erik isn’t two steps off the front step when he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a J and lights it up.)
Erik Black
Well, Ivan… I guess, for the boss’ sake, we’ve got a job to do. We’ve got to go into that ring and kick ass, strange or familiar, just like we always do.
Only this time, it won’t be for some mindless political agenda. We’ve got to go in there and do it for ourselves…
For the CHRONIC COLLIZION!!
Ivan Dalkichev
Formerly the Crimson Calling!
(The duo make their way to the road and hail a cab. We fade to black.)