LQJT86C
Where's my money, Chad?
Just One Dude...
(FADEIN: A ratty old apartment littered with surf and skateboard magazines, bags of half-eaten cheetos and doritos, a coffee table with wheels, bearings, and screws laying on top, all next to a fully packed bowl of weed. Against the wall sits a brown couch with a surfboard leaning up against the side of it. Sitting on the couch is a young man with long blonde frizzled hair, with a dirty blonde beard. He's shirtless, wearing a hemp necklace and white/blue board shorts)
JUST ONE DUDE LOOKING FOR ADVENTURE, YET TOTALLY WILLING TO PARTY ALONG THE WAY: Como 'sta bro, welcome to my humble abode! I have to admit, when they first told me I was booked to wrestle, I was a tad nervous. I mean like, I was trained and stuff, but I really haven't wrestled since I was in high school. Ahhh dude I wanted to be a pro wrestler SO BADLY!
Actually, I came up with this gimmick, I was gonna come out to the ring with my bong and they were gonna call me Weed Man. And my thing was that I would come out to Hotel California and smoke with my fans until the song ended, and then I would smash a big glass bong on someone's head! Dude, that woulda been so outta sight but they never let me do it. But really, at the end of the day, I don't need a gimmick. When it comes down to it, I'm just one dude looking for adventure, yet TOTALLY willing to party along the way! That's gonna be my name too, so that'd killer if you guys just called me that from now on.
So yeah, lemme tell you dudes the story of how "Just one dude looking for adventure, yet totally willing to party along the way" came to Vegas.
I was chilling bodaciously at my pad, playing Super Nintendo cause the old school games are still the best, and that's when I decided to smoke a bowl right then and there brah. So I'm hangin' back, tokin', playing Super Metroid and eating out of a box of Cocoa Puffs, when I'm like dude, I need some new threads brah.
That's when I went out to the Mission Valley mall in San Diego, to the Billabong outlet. So some dude comes up to me and is like, "Yo Todd! What are you doing??" And I'm like, "Hey brah, do I know you? What's up?? Help me find some new threads brah???" And then he says, "Nooooo you idiot, did you forget? I'm your boss, you f*ckin' work here and you're 4 hours late you idiot!"
So now I start thinking and am like "Aahhhhh dude you know what? You're totally right brah, I'm buggin'! But let me tell you why I'm late. My alarm totally didn't go off at the time I set it for, and then when I got up so late I forgot it was Wednesday and thought it was Sunday and am like "Duuuude I gotta work tomorrow but I might as well enjoy my Sunday and totally appreciate life right now." And I started playing Nintendo...and like...yo dude, so you think you could totally help me find some new Billabong threads????
And then he got all pissed at me cause the song "Down" by 311 started playing over the store speakers and I interrupted him to sing to it. I'm singin' in his face like "WEHAVECHANGEDALOTANDTHEN-SOME-SOME!"
"KNOWTHATWEHAVEALWAYSBEEN-DOWN-DOWN!"
Then he's like "Dude...seriously?...you're fired!"
I go back home to my parents house and my dad's all like in a serious voice like "Ummm...son? Did you get fired today son? You did, didn't you? Slacker...I knew it. You have no ambition, no future. All you want to do is sit in your room playing those damn game tapes and doing pot. You're lucky I pay for you to live under my roof."
Dude, F*CK THAT, DUDE! I told my old man that I DO HAVE a future, and I don't have to live under his bogus rules anymore. So I decided to change the world and invent the first ever hybrid, wind and crunchberry residue powered moped. And dude don't tell anybody, but I definitely stole my neighbor Randy's moped from his dad's garage and used it in my experiments. Duuude, that miniature windmill I attached on the back? Cost me like $8,000 dollars! And I had to buy 45 boxes of captain crunchberries every week just to get the hybrid moped to reach it's max speed of 3.5 miles per hour.
Needless to say, I was strapped for cash, especially given that I was using a lot of the money my dad gave me on slurpees at 7-11 and weed from the guy over at the San Diego bodeaga. Annnyyywaayyy, when my project was complete I decided to take a road trip with the wind/crunchberry moped over to Las Vegas to show the world that we don't need foreign oil, cause all we ever needed was nature's wind and whole lot of crunchberries dude.
I was so stoked to change the planet, but that's when the windmill broke due to resistence from the crunchberries. So now I need money to fix it, and it's kinda bummin' me out. That's when I saw fliers for LVW and was like, I know I never held a job for more than a month cause I'm always late, but I'm pretty sure I could show up for these matches. Plus I was trained by the famed female lucha libre of California, La Puta Gringa. She taught me all kinds of moves, so now I'm wrestling to fix my moped.
So that's the story of "Just One Dude Looking For Adventure, Yet Totally Willing to Party Along the Way"
I don't know who my first opponent's gonna be, but I just wanna say, no hard feelings brah, just doing what a dude's gotta do to fix his moped. Seriously dude, if you just wanna like show up with me and smoke in the ring instead of fight, I think the LVW dudes would be down with that. How could people possibly complain about such an awesome scenario????
Like Gandhi said, I'm a man of nonviolence, and I do have a dream. And this dude's dream is to ride that wind and crunchberry moped into history!
Peace brah.
(FADE)
(FADEIN: A ratty old apartment littered with surf and skateboard magazines, bags of half-eaten cheetos and doritos, a coffee table with wheels, bearings, and screws laying on top, all next to a fully packed bowl of weed. Against the wall sits a brown couch with a surfboard leaning up against the side of it. Sitting on the couch is a young man with long blonde frizzled hair, with a dirty blonde beard. He's shirtless, wearing a hemp necklace and white/blue board shorts)
JUST ONE DUDE LOOKING FOR ADVENTURE, YET TOTALLY WILLING TO PARTY ALONG THE WAY: Como 'sta bro, welcome to my humble abode! I have to admit, when they first told me I was booked to wrestle, I was a tad nervous. I mean like, I was trained and stuff, but I really haven't wrestled since I was in high school. Ahhh dude I wanted to be a pro wrestler SO BADLY!
Actually, I came up with this gimmick, I was gonna come out to the ring with my bong and they were gonna call me Weed Man. And my thing was that I would come out to Hotel California and smoke with my fans until the song ended, and then I would smash a big glass bong on someone's head! Dude, that woulda been so outta sight but they never let me do it. But really, at the end of the day, I don't need a gimmick. When it comes down to it, I'm just one dude looking for adventure, yet TOTALLY willing to party along the way! That's gonna be my name too, so that'd killer if you guys just called me that from now on.
So yeah, lemme tell you dudes the story of how "Just one dude looking for adventure, yet totally willing to party along the way" came to Vegas.
I was chilling bodaciously at my pad, playing Super Nintendo cause the old school games are still the best, and that's when I decided to smoke a bowl right then and there brah. So I'm hangin' back, tokin', playing Super Metroid and eating out of a box of Cocoa Puffs, when I'm like dude, I need some new threads brah.
That's when I went out to the Mission Valley mall in San Diego, to the Billabong outlet. So some dude comes up to me and is like, "Yo Todd! What are you doing??" And I'm like, "Hey brah, do I know you? What's up?? Help me find some new threads brah???" And then he says, "Nooooo you idiot, did you forget? I'm your boss, you f*ckin' work here and you're 4 hours late you idiot!"
So now I start thinking and am like "Aahhhhh dude you know what? You're totally right brah, I'm buggin'! But let me tell you why I'm late. My alarm totally didn't go off at the time I set it for, and then when I got up so late I forgot it was Wednesday and thought it was Sunday and am like "Duuuude I gotta work tomorrow but I might as well enjoy my Sunday and totally appreciate life right now." And I started playing Nintendo...and like...yo dude, so you think you could totally help me find some new Billabong threads????
And then he got all pissed at me cause the song "Down" by 311 started playing over the store speakers and I interrupted him to sing to it. I'm singin' in his face like "WEHAVECHANGEDALOTANDTHEN-SOME-SOME!"
"KNOWTHATWEHAVEALWAYSBEEN-DOWN-DOWN!"
Then he's like "Dude...seriously?...you're fired!"
I go back home to my parents house and my dad's all like in a serious voice like "Ummm...son? Did you get fired today son? You did, didn't you? Slacker...I knew it. You have no ambition, no future. All you want to do is sit in your room playing those damn game tapes and doing pot. You're lucky I pay for you to live under my roof."
Dude, F*CK THAT, DUDE! I told my old man that I DO HAVE a future, and I don't have to live under his bogus rules anymore. So I decided to change the world and invent the first ever hybrid, wind and crunchberry residue powered moped. And dude don't tell anybody, but I definitely stole my neighbor Randy's moped from his dad's garage and used it in my experiments. Duuude, that miniature windmill I attached on the back? Cost me like $8,000 dollars! And I had to buy 45 boxes of captain crunchberries every week just to get the hybrid moped to reach it's max speed of 3.5 miles per hour.
Needless to say, I was strapped for cash, especially given that I was using a lot of the money my dad gave me on slurpees at 7-11 and weed from the guy over at the San Diego bodeaga. Annnyyywaayyy, when my project was complete I decided to take a road trip with the wind/crunchberry moped over to Las Vegas to show the world that we don't need foreign oil, cause all we ever needed was nature's wind and whole lot of crunchberries dude.
I was so stoked to change the planet, but that's when the windmill broke due to resistence from the crunchberries. So now I need money to fix it, and it's kinda bummin' me out. That's when I saw fliers for LVW and was like, I know I never held a job for more than a month cause I'm always late, but I'm pretty sure I could show up for these matches. Plus I was trained by the famed female lucha libre of California, La Puta Gringa. She taught me all kinds of moves, so now I'm wrestling to fix my moped.
So that's the story of "Just One Dude Looking For Adventure, Yet Totally Willing to Party Along the Way"
I don't know who my first opponent's gonna be, but I just wanna say, no hard feelings brah, just doing what a dude's gotta do to fix his moped. Seriously dude, if you just wanna like show up with me and smoke in the ring instead of fight, I think the LVW dudes would be down with that. How could people possibly complain about such an awesome scenario????
Like Gandhi said, I'm a man of nonviolence, and I do have a dream. And this dude's dream is to ride that wind and crunchberry moped into history!
Peace brah.
(FADE)
Last edited: