Renaissance v Rabesque

[TheOriginalSE]

All RP for the RENAISSANCE MAN and JEAN RABESQUE Television Title tournament semi-finals match should be done in this thread.

All RP and angles should be submitted by Monday March 22nd, at 11:59pm. All angles should be submitted to secandido@comcast.net .

 

[SteveA]

Think what you want

(The screen comes in on an NEW backdrop, and as we slowly pan away, we see Jean Rabesque standing in front of the camera, arms crossed, a smile on his face, he removes his sunglasses, and reassumes the stance, he pauses for a moment, gathers his thoughts, and speaks)

Rabesque: “So Brody Hansen thought he had it. He thought that he had enough to get the job done, and that there was no way in hell that I could make that a wrestling match. He insisted that he could make a match with anyone into a brawl, and for awhile, he was right. But then what happened? Brody fell into the trap..... and Brody tapped out.

“So both goals were accomplished at our last edition of NEW Raucous. I advanced, and I of course put on the match of the evening. Almost to the time limit, almost to a draw. Many, many minutes of high paced, intense action, and some technical mastery from the finest technical wrestler on the planet. All in all, I call that a pretty successful day’s work.

“Of course, this all is for the NEW Television Title, and when everything comes to a head and the truth be known, it’s hard for me to give two flying f(FCC)ks about that title. But a match is a match, and a win is a win, and I’ll take out whomever I’m told to take out, until I get my shot at one Mr. Larry Tact, the man that still to this day claims he can outwrestle me.

“But now, in my way stands the Renaissance Man. Congratulations RM, you’re the big winner! You got to advance solely because The American decided to do business the right way on his way out. Everyone knew it wouldn’t be good for the ratings to have me get a bye into the finals. Everyone knew that I had to be on this show, in my third main event in three cards, to give the people a reason to tune in. And therefore, he did what he had to do, and you get yourself into the semifinals. Here’s the unfortunate part RM..... I’m not going anywhere. You’re actually going to have to step up and wrestle this match against someone who is out to destroy you, a man that will do everything in his power to make you tap. Brody Hansen said it couldn’t be done. He swore up and down that there was no one out here who could do that to him. Of course that sounds good in principle, until the Figure 4 is slapped on. The best laid plans of mice and men very often do go astray once the hold is locked in.

“But right now, RM, I would love for you to grace these NEW airwaves and bestill on all of us your grand vision for NEW Raucous. I would love to here how you find yourself superior to Jean Rabesque, a man that simply wins wherever he goes. I would love for you to boast that you actually have a shot against me, and that you’re not just a warm-up to get me into a real money match in the finals. That’s what all the inquiring minds are really wanting to know RM.

“But you’ll probably do what you did the last time RM. You’ll stay in the shadows, not really wanting to come out. And to be honest, I’d feel somewhat hypocritical if I really criticized that. I’m not always too keen about coming out here myself. But the reality is that nothing you do or do not say is really going to make a damn bit of difference.

“You can think what you want RM, but soon enough you’ll end up just like all the rest. You’ll be laying in a heap, tapping your hand against the mat as hard and as fast you can, praying for mercy. Go ahead, tell me it’s not true. That’s what Brody did.

“That’s what makes it so much more fun when it does. No false gimmicks, no false hype, I am Jean Rabesque.”

(Fade out)

 

[EGarrett]

Wrong.

(The impressively plump Mark Poole is behind his desk...feverishly answering phones and scribbling on pieces of paper. In the background...lounging in an easy chair and reading Health & Fitness magazine is the Renaissance Man. Poole hangs up the phone and looks to the camera...flinging spittle at the camera while he speaks.)

POOLE: First of all...you ingrate...let's get one thing perfectly clear. My client's name is THE RENAISSANCE MAN. That's spelled with one-N...two S's and one more N. Open your tiny brain...you French Himbo...it is your heritage after all. Furthermore...in AMERICA we have something called contracts. And my client's contract says plain and simple that he is to be referred to ONLY by his official and proper title. THE RENAISSANCE MAN. You will not be wrestling "RM" any more than he will be beating "JR" or something slack-jawed yokel initial simplification.

(He unplugs his phone and puts one fist on the table for emphasis...elbow in the air Larry King style.)

POOLE: Second of all...I've done some research into your background...and even for a beanie-wearing...cigarette-in-holder smoking...impressionist painting frog-eater you have nothing to be proud of in your athletic background. Nevermind that no one from your country has ever accomplished anything significant. I'm shocked that you even continue to fruitlessly plug away in this business despite the fact that you have not gained one iota of talent in your seemingly 80-year career. You should brace yourself and your black leotard that you no doubt wear at this very moment for the sheer assault of cold wrestling ability and talent that the man behind me will unleash upon your cowardly keister during this match. I also recommend that you prepare whatever laundry list of excuses that you drag out whenever someone of any type of talent beats you...because you will need your best ones after you lose cleanly to my client's Epilogue finisher.

(He switches elbows.)

POOLE: And let me offer a suggestion that ou abandon your usual training methods of jumping jacks...pilates and butterfly chasing. No one likes you. No one loves you and no one on earth believes in a man who stretches and sips spring water before every match. Your the most effeminate fool in the world who also has no sense of style. And before you ask...my client is not interested in marriages of any type.

(The Renaissance Man sits up from his easy chair and taps Poole on the shoulder. When Poole turns around he taps his watch and points to his waist.)

POOLE: Ah yes...and my client wishes to make a statement public before the media bothers him with the question. He has no interest in winning the Television Title...he wants only to beat Jean Rabesque and anyone else who dares to question him. After the inevitable victory "Jean"...he will gladly offer you the title for you to fasten and pull up over your waist like a 200 pound woman pulling on her newest pair of thong panties. Hopefully that will be enough consolation to satisfy your natural tendencies. If you have any questions about anything stated...you can call the number on the bottom of your screen.

(FADEOUT)

 

[SteveA]

Get a clue

(The screen comes in on Jean Rabesque, dressed in the normal gear, standing in the normal spot, smile on his face, as the cameras come in, and he speaks)

Rabesque: “So let me get all of this straight. I wait for eons for RM to appear, and when he finally does, I don’t even get to hear from him, but instead only this tub of lard who I guess doubles as his love-slave and mouthpiece. But not only that, but the only thing that this guy has to complain about is that I like to call his master RM.

“Are you kidding me? What are you going to do fat-ass if I keep calling him that? You going to get your lawyers and sue me for calling him the wrong name? Why do I need to be wasting my time with this? I have a wrestling match to prepare for and all this clown is worried about is what I refer to RM as. And meanwhile, the chump sits there in the background and has nothing to say for himself.

“Hey RM, let me give you one very quick word of advice. If you’re going to go out and buy yourself a mouthpiece, at least get someone who can form an intelligent thought. Now, if this clown were an actual wrestler, then this would be a different story. I’m an example of that. It’s not my job to be an orator, it’s my job to wrestle and to kick ass. But this guy, this Poole, it is his job to come out on camera and to talk, right? And unfortunately, he sucks at it. So do yourself a favor and run out and hire someone else.

“But going on, did this guy even know what the heck country I’m from? Has he done no research? At least admit it if you don’t know anything about me, instead of trying to make things up. He speaks as if I know nothing about America, not knowing I’ve lived here for ten years. He again follows the lines of the many who are convinced that I am Frenchman, but anyone who has even remotely followed my career knows that I’ve never even been to France. And he can imply my country has never accomplished anything, but anybody who’s anybody knows where the true heart of professional wrestling comes from, and that sure as hell as ain’t Illinois, Wisconsin, Nevada, or anywhere else in the United States.

“And the best, the all-time best, is that I am just the effeminate guy who really wants to ask RM out for a date. What RM, did you have to go to the ‘Mike Manson School of Unoriginality,’ to dig that one up? So what exactly makes effeminate, or did you miss me locking lips with the finest woman in wrestling up in NFW just last week? There’s nothing effeminate about me. And I’m really not sure you’re the one who should be saying this. You’re the showing up with another man in your promos. You both have just seen everyone else try the same strategy and you were too damn lazy to go out and find your own. Yeah, I have a French name. But at least I have the balls to take my own name. Just out of curiosity, what is Renaissance Man’s middle name.... Baroque?

“The realty is that you know nothing about me, in the ring or backstage. You have this preconceived notion of what I am, which in reality is nowhere near the truth. And that is going to kill you. If you don’t know what I’m capable of, then I don’t think you can really comprehend what is about to hit you. You might be able to guess, but I’m pretty sure you don’t know. But, why don’t you go ask Manson? You already seem to get all of your material from him? Hell, maybe the two of you can share a Romantic Pez the next time around? Wouldn’t that be sweet?

“So spare me any more words from this fat-ass chump. If RM has something to say to me, he can stand up like a man and tell me what he’s thinking. Poole, you need to stay your ass out of the way, or it will get run over. Not like it’s hard to miss that target.

“So RM.... you want to take out all challenges..... well, I’m calling your ass out right now. Let’s see what you got little boy. Me and you RM, leave the ***** out of this. He sure can talk a good game for you. Let’s see if you can back it up.

“No false gimmicks, no false hype, I am Jean Rabesque.”

(Fade out)